* Posts by Stumpy

182 posts • joined 20 May 2010

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Probe President Trump and his crappy Samsung Twitter-o-phone, demand angry congressfolk

Stumpy

Because they're too close to the problem to see its full humungousness.

The correct term to use in this post-truth, alternate-fact cheeto-led universe is biggliness.

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Stumpy

Seeing the "football" carrier is nothing new.

I'm sick and tired.... err, I mean I'm sick and tired of everything associated with Trump being labelled as something new and nasty. Much of what he's done or has been done around him has been done by his predecessors.

Complaining about such precedents devalues people's arguments against him. If people are going to criticise him for something then criticise him properly.

That may be true, but previous incumbents usually manage to spread their indiscretions out over the course of one or two terms in office. The piss-eyed tango-skinned buffoon seems to want to get it all out of the way early.

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Bruce Schneier: The US government is coming for YOUR code, techies

Stumpy

Re: Traveling in the Donner Pass Has Improved

Surely in the Donner pass, they would have just eaten kebabs to survive?

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Kings College London bods recruit members for penis ring study

Stumpy

Finish in six weeks?

What, are they trying to recruit Sting or something? I'm normally lucky to finish in six minutes!

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Crack in black: Matte iPhones losing paint at alarming rate, gripe fans

Stumpy

Re: Probably a bad batch.

Same here ... and I don't exactly treat mine with the love and respect I'm probably supposed to to.

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Stumpy

Re: How many of you do this sort of weekly maintenance??

cuddling any digital device....welll, it's just wrong.

What, even including one of these?

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Parliamentary Trump-off? Pro-Donald petition passes 100k signatures

Stumpy

Re: Classic Trump supporters?

Couldn't be bothered to read/comprehend the thing their railing about.... check

they're ... sorry, but if you're going all Grammar Nazi on them, at least get your copy proofread. Folks will think you're a Register staff writer otherwise...

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This bot shorts stocks when Trump tweets (don't fret, the profit is used for good)

Stumpy

Re: Not very future-proof...

4. Trump's account gets hacked, and starts posting confidential, unredacted intelligence reports.

I'm pretty sure his account wouldn't need to get hacked in order for him to start posting confidential, unredacted intelligence reports ... that's probably why he's excluded the Director of Intelligence from his everyday cabinet meetings, you know, just to reduce the chance that he might get hit by temptation.

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'Maker' couple asphyxiated, probably by laser cutter fumes

Stumpy

Re: no warning of toxic gases then, just aesthetics and housekeeping issues

Like my builder says about the asbestos that's in my property - it's actually safer to eat it than inhale it.

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Police pull up van man engaged in dual carriageway sex act

Stumpy

Re: Fly-tipping

Look for the guy hitting every pothole....

You obviously don't come from/visit Surrey very often. It would be easier to catch the driver that's actually able to miss the bloody things.

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Welcome to the Wipe House: President Trump shreds climate change, privacy, LGBT policies on WhiteHouse.gov

Stumpy

... and so the rewriting and expunging of history begins.

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Local TV presenter shouted 'f*cking hell' to open news bulletin

Stumpy

Re: Pre-recorded?

I refer the dishonorable coward above to exhibit 'B' from the story:

Evidently journalists in the editing suite had failed to cut the first 10 seconds of botched footage from the programme, which was supposed to have been signed off by the news editor and the station manager before broadcast.

Which explains why the broadcast was as it was despite being pre-recorded.

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Chernobyl cover-up: Giant shield rolled over nuclear reactor remains

Stumpy

I was there last year and saw the new archway whilst it was being constructed next to the reactor. It really is a sight to behold.

As has been mentioned in comments above, the area really isn't that dangerous any longer (in many places) - there's around 4000 people who live and work full-time in the exclusion zone. As long as you're careful with your dosimeter then you're perfectly OK.

That said, it /will/ still be around 500,000 years before the exclusion zone is truly safe for humans once more since there are still a great number of long-lived isotopes around in the soil (mostly Cs137 - half life of 30 years and Pu238 - half life of around 88 years).

It's definitely a place to go visit - there's some fantastic remants of the cold-war lurking around in there. I spent two days there - staying overnight at the (small) hotel in Chernobyl, and could quite happily take the camera back there for another excursion.

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Smart Meter rollout delayed again. Cost us £11bn, eh?

Stumpy

Re: But it will be invaluable in case zombie apocalypse occurs

Just switch off the energy supply to houses with zombified people inside, thus keeping the undead confused, cold and in the dark.

So, that's anyone who watches Big Brother, X Factor, Strictly, etc, etc, etc ... then?

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KCL out(r)age continues: Two weeks TITSUP, two weeks to go

Stumpy

That's why it's always to remember to get all of that stuff in writing so you have an audit trail when the shit really does hit the fan.

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'Doubly unacceptable' Swiss vegan forces his way into the army

Stumpy

Re: Now enlist him in special forces training

"Now, I hear if you engage with our good friends of al Nusra, you get to eat the liver of prisoners. Would that be acceptable to your tastes?

Hmm .. depends. Is it served with a nice Chianti?

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Is Apple's software getting worse or what?

Stumpy

Re: Forced Program Defaults

Seems like a problem on your side. I'm running Sierra, and have Google Chrome set as my default browser - It's an option in System Preferences > Default.

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Stumpy

Odd though, I've so far not had any problems with macOS Sierra on my Macbook Pro ... current uptime is a little over 12 days and no instability, no slowdowns, etc.

Generally I've not experienced any real issues with OS X for the last two or three revisions. Mail was a little flaky prior to El Capitan, but other than that no problems (although I don't use iTunes apart from transferring FLAC files to my phone, so that could explain things a little)...

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Stumpy

Re: little to do with apple

Oh, if only I could upvote this multiple times.

This "Move fast and break things" attitude has been the bane of my life for the last few years now. It seems to have infected every area of every development team in every business. Using Agile as an excuse to put band-aids on band-aids on poor quality development, no worthwhile external documentation and code comments that are either non-existent or referring to the original code that has since been fixed over the intervening several sprints and are now completely irrelevant in context.

Christ ... roll on retirement. Only another 15 years to go (unless HMG decides to move the goalposts again in the interim).

</grumpy_bastard>

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Plusnet broadband outage: Customers fume as TITSUP* continues

Stumpy

No problems here...

... in Southwest London. Been working from home and online all day from around 05:30...

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New booze guidelines: We'd rather you didn't enjoy yourselves

Stumpy

Re: The temperance movement? Is that still a thing??

Yes, go and see them next time they play. Bloody brilliant band!

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Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Stumpy

Utter Sacrilege!

The only, and I repeat, ONLY, time it is ever acceptable to add milk to the steeping leaves is when you're breing up a nice pot of Cardamom Chai, where the leaves, spices and sugar are added to the heated milk and there's no water anywhere near the whole concoction.

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Bank tech boss: Where we're going, we don't need mainframes

Stumpy

Re: Utter drivel

Ah.. I remember the old MTS system at Newcastle. They were still running it there in 1992.

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Admin fishes dirty office chat from mistyped-email bin and then ...?

Stumpy

I'm devastated ...

... by the apparent lack of BOFHness amongst you all.

I mean, you've practically all stated that you'd delete the email and pretend nothing happened rather than resort to blackmail or extortion?

Fer chrissakes, grow a backbone and charge up the cattle prod, the lot of you.

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Flying Spaghetti Monster is not God, rules mortal judge

Stumpy

“The FSM Gospel is plainly a work of satire, meant to entertain while making a pointed political statement. To read it as religious doctrine would be little different from grounding a 'religious exercise' on any other work of fiction. A prisoner could just as easily read the works of Vonnegut or Heinlein and claim it as his holy book, and demand accommodation of Bokononism or the Church of All Worlds.”

... but surely this is exactly what L.Ron Hubbard did with the Church of Scientology.

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Ad slinger Phorm ceases trading

Stumpy

Oh happy, happy day!

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Holding out for a Jobs: Tim Cook still auditioning for position of Apple god

Stumpy

Re: The Apple II was certainly practical

What I found interesting at the time (before floppy disks) was that a cheapo cassette recorder was far more reliable at recording and playback than a "proper" HiFi one. Never quite worked out why.

My guess would be that the quality decks have more filtering circuitry in them to remove high-frequency hiss from the tape. The unfortunate side effect of those filters tend to be that it causes the high-frequency signal on the tape to clip slightly, thus leading to errors. The cheapo decks, lacking these circuits tend to just play back whatever they can (so no signal loss, but more noise).

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Which keys should I press to enable the CockUp feature?

Stumpy

Re: Screen rotation .. Pah !

... ah, so it wasn't just me who did this then :)

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Photographer hassled by Port of Tyne for filming a sign on a wall

Stumpy

If I were him, I'd be tempted to get a good lawyer and sue the Port of Tyne for their aggressive behaviour. I'm sure he could find some damage to his equipment, and not to mention the emotional stress he's been put under...

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Did water rocket threaten Brum airport Airbus?

Stumpy

Re: Just remembered

What on earth was the tiger doing with the bottle of Coke?

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MPs slam mandarins over failed GP IT system

Stumpy

... and then roundly ignored.

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eBay scammer steals identity of special agent investigating him

Stumpy

Re: Not all that funny

How do you know it hasn't already?....

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AMD sued: Number of Bulldozer cores in its chips is a lie, allegedly

Stumpy

Indeed. In the days when I used to program down at the bare metal level, we didn't even have on-board FPUs ... you had to buy a separate Maths co-processor unit to get any sort of floating-point operations in hardware...

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Russian subs prowling near submarine cables: report

Stumpy

Re: Why have your own network?

What's to say they don't already piggyback on the public network traffic. Still, it would make more sense to have a cable labelled 'Big Secret Network' just to lead your enemies down the path you want them to take, and possibly even feed them the disinformation you desire...

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Amazon Echo: We put Jeff Bezos' always-on microphone-speaker in a Reg family home

Stumpy

Re: DANGER DANGER DANGER

I guess this requires the obligatory 1984 Bloom County strip:

https://scontent-lhr3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/t31.0-8/12087307_1062183137145772_6705622885811331085_o.jpg

[apologies for the Facebook CDN link, but I can't find the strip on Go Comics]

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Weight, what? The perfect kilogram is nearly in Planck's grasp

Stumpy

Re: What does this mean for the "Olympic Swimming Pool/Double Decker bus" standards?

"... it could be defined in moles"

So, sort of like my garden then?

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My parents don't know I'm in SEO. They think I play piano in a brothel

Stumpy

The number of unsolicited submissions I get from the 'contact' form on my personal blog seems to belie the assertion that these companies want to be taken seriously.

Anyone who even so much as casually glanced at the site would notice that it's a personal blog and contains the sum total of zero advertising.

Based on that criteria, why on earth would I want to (and I quote) "improve my search engine rankings to drive greater sales and profit to my door"?

Scumbags ... all of them.

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Crash Google Chrome with one tiny URL: We cram a probe in this bug

Stumpy

Re: RE: Dear Coders - Rules You Learned in Kindergarten

It's definitely possible to write the 'perfect' piece of software (for a given definition of perfect). It all comes down to how much cash and how much time Management is willing to give you to check and test.

There are mathematical techniques you can use to analyse your code to check for logical bugs, and as has been mentioned, if performance is not the bottleneck, then you check ALL of your inputs and outputs to ensure they fulfil your contract, and never, EVER, return anything that you haven't documented in full.

Of course, in the business world that most of us operate in, these niceties are the first thing to go to the wall in preference for getting the software out the door and into the hands of the great unwashed.

Remember the old Project Manager's adage: Quality, Cost, Time ... pick any two.

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WIN a 6TB Western Digital Black hard drive with El Reg

Stumpy

The heat dissipation and power consumption are pretty poor, but the mammary expansion capabilities are excellent.

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Stumpy

This is one piece of technology we really are hoping goes TITSUP

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Witness Apple's iPhone-iPad extravapalooza here in our no-hate zone

Stumpy

Well, as an Apple user (and also a Windows/Linux user too - let's not be biased) ... I'm seriously underwhelmed by the new products.

It's about time Apple came up with something truly revolutionary and disruptive yet again instead of these small incremental changes year on year ... it's getting dull.

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Netflix to complete global rollout, add 120+ countries by end of 2016

Stumpy

The problem I find with them is that they only add a few movies that I like to watch. They're great if you want to watch TV series (although we need to have Game of Thrones on there!) ... but I rarely watch much in the way of the TV content.

Plus, their website and catalog search functions suck.

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Ex top judge admits he's incapable of reading email, doesn't own a PC

Stumpy

Re: Life imitates NTNOCN

"... and a Deluxe Model Inflatable Woman. Whatever one of those is"

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Susan Sheridan, voice of Hitchhiker's Trillian, dies aged 68

Stumpy

So long, and thanks for all the fish. RIP.

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Samsung looks into spam ads appearing on Brits' smart TVs

Stumpy

Re: Easily solved.

or just don't buy a smart TV. Buy a traditional, dumb model instead.

Honestly, folks will be telling me they want their vacuum cleaners connected to the internet next...

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FBI may pillory Hillary with email spillery grillery

Stumpy

Re: Only to be expected (For good reasons)

"Do you really want another baldface, thieving liar in the office of the President?"

Because Trump is a shining beacon of Holy Goodness by comparison, right? RIGHT?

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Apple chief Cook cooks up rumours after BMW car talks, factory tour

Stumpy

Re: BMW was careful not to show off too much

"Hey Apple, have you thought of cutting out the middle-men, just go straight to the NSA and ask them to give you BMW's blueprints?"

... where do you think the NSA got them from in the first place?

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Edge out rivals? No! Firefox boss BLASTS Microsoft's Windows 10 browser brouhaha

Stumpy

Same here. I suspect that if users opt for 'express' installation, then everything will get reset to whatever defaults MS deem necessary/desirable, whereas those who opt for a fully controlled install get to determine exactly what stays and what goes.

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UK.gov wants to stop teenagers looking at tits online. No, really

Stumpy

Re: Stupid Fight

King Jack wrote:

"Has anyone ever been harmed by looking at the opposite sex?"

Yes. I was in the pub the other night staring at this fantastically beautiful blonde, when her boyfriend came over and kicked the crap out of me...

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SPECTRE-tacular: New trailer out for Bond 24. But where's the pussy?

Stumpy

Re: No cat...

I haven't got pussy galore in years *sigh*

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