* Posts by Stumpy

248 posts • joined 20 May 2010


Vodafone exec dons tartan tam-o'-shanter, clutches bottle of Irn-Bru, in snap shared with firm... just before Glasgow staff told of redundo dates


Re: Exe.Quantum Communications Control BetaTest/Vodafone ....:-) ‽

Is it just me, or is amanfrommars1 making less and less sense with each post?

I would have thought a sentient AI would have become more understandable over time.

'Occult' text from Buffy The Vampire Slayer ep actually just story about new bus lane in Dublin


Mmmmmmmm ... Evil Willow ...... mmmmmmm....

Help us sniff out 50 neutron star collisions so we can calculate universe expansion, cosmoboffins plead


Re: How small can you make a black hole?

I think what he means to say is simply:

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams


Re: MiniDisk? Bah!

What about my 78's?


A once-in-a-lifetime Opportunity: NASA bids emotional farewell to its cocky, hardworking RC science car on Mars


Re: Cocks


One click and you're out: UK makes it an offence to view terrorist propaganda even once


Re: Roflmao

Aaaaaaaand .... relax.




Breathe in






Breathe out






Breathe in





<repeat ad-nauseum>

Q. What's a good thing to put outside a building of spies? A: A banner saying 'here we are!'


To be fair though, it's not as if the location of the main GCHQ doughnut or AWE Aldermaston are closely guarded state secrets, so why should this place be either?

How I got horizontal with a gimp and untangled his cables


Re: "I'd wear a boiler suit or ex-RAF surplus jumpsuit if I could"

Be a bit painful though putting Velcro all the way down your leg, although I can see the practicality of it.

Having AI assistants ruling our future lives? That's so sad. Alexa play Despacito



It's not a difficult problem to solve at all.

I used to be a pub manager in a previous carreer (early 1990's) and we were using flow-controlled pumps for beers back then. No complex electronics - just a simple activation switch for the pump, which was invariably of the rotating-chamber type. there's usually a pressure-assist in there to help with maintiaining an even volume of fluid regardless of how gloopy it is.

... and let's also face it. Different beers don't have /that/ much variance in their gloopiness.

CES flicks the off switch on massager award… and causes a buzz


Re: Osé

It even enables humans to reproduce.

... even those that shouldn't.

My 2019 resolution? Not to buy any of THIS rubbish


You miserable sod ...

My god, you're being a miserable sod this week Dabbsy. [Must be Dry January taking it's toll]

Not that I disagree with your list mind you (apart from a couple of items: Choose your own adventure books were great at the time [especially since I struggled to find any other geeks in my teen years who were also into any form of RPGs], and there have been some decent games written post 1994 [not many mind, but there have been some].

Can't get pranked by your team if nobody in the world can log on


Re: Rotate the monitor

Another favourite we used to use was to take the back of the CRT, rotate the vertical scan coil through 108 degrees and reassemble. Then leave the monitor upside down on top of the PC.

The amount of confusion and head scratching that used to cause was an awesome sight to behold.

RIP Paul Allen: Microsoft cofounder billionaire dies at 65 after facing third bout with cancer


Plus, Knighthoods cease upon death, so Mr Allen cannot be knighted.

Microsoft deletes deleterious file deletion bug from Windows 10 October 2018 Update


Re: An untested fix to an untested feature

"Move fast and break things" ....

.... isn't that the Facebook Agile mantra?

And in current affairs: Rogue raccoon blacks out city power grid after shocking misstep


Re: Are you SURE it's dead?

JLV Wrote:

They look cute, but getting bitten by one means rabies shots and the ones most seen by tourists in Stanley Park are right next to a cliff where people have died falling.

'Falling' ... or were they pushed by little rodenty hands?

Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button


Re: Kim or Ken?

I think it's more the case that the security guard was aware that people were working in the machine room and thus should have consulted with them first. If the machine room was under normal BAU operation then yes, sure he would have done the right thing.

Every bloody gadget in the house is ringing. Thanks, EE



I'll be round in 10. With a VERY large spoon!

England's top judge lashes out at 'Science Museum' grade court IT


Re: On the up-side

... but, but, but ... how could the lawyers, judges, et. al. 'work from home'? if that were the case, M'lud?

PETA calls for fish friendly Swedish street signage


They're about as interested in animal rights as [insert topical comparison here].

... as Trump is interested in Demorcacy?

Microsoft will ‘lose developers for a generation’ if it stuffs up GitHub, says future CEO


Re: Coming soon to github

... aaaannd .... CLIPPY!

"Hi there, it looks like you're writing a program. Would you like some help with that?"

(bugger, we really need a clippy icon)

Microsoft commits: We're buying GitHub for $7.5 beeeeeeellion

Thumb Down

Re: Shite

"Wonder which new and exciting way they're gonna fuck it up."

Well, first they'll swap Git for SourceSafe ....

A Reg-reading techie, a high street bank, some iffy production code – and a financial crash


Can I Just Point Out ...

... in everyone's critique of the code, you all seem to be making the assumption that the value for total_exposure is going to be displayed or visible in some manner to users.

What if the only purpose of tracking the value is to compare against some threshold value and display an alert / send a notification / ring an alarm or some-such? Then that would explain why it managed to sail under the radar for so long.

Making sweeping assumptions on usage, without seeing the full context makes you almost as bad as the original coder.

Boffins: Michael Jackson's tilt was a criminally smooth trick


Korev wrote:

I don't know, I'm still trying to get Diana clean, she's so dirty

Yes, the French authorities really need to clean out their road tunnels...

... what? too soon?

Military brainboxes ponder 'UK needs you' list of AI boffins


Re: amanfromMars is writing MoD press releases now?


Make masses carry their mobes, suggests wig in not-at-all-creepy speech


Or more likely those of nefarious means will simply stash their smartmobe somewhere on a train, or taped under the wheelarch of a taxi or some such, then get a simple burner phone under a fake ID that can be destroyed after the fact.

Instant alibi: 'It can't have been me guv. Look, I woz on the Eurostar to Amsterdam at the time of the alleged offence'

Boffins find new ways to slurp private info from Facebook addicts using precision-targeted ads


Re: missing the point?

... no, it's the right to arm bears. After all, gotta give them a sporting chance against the Huntin' Fishin' Shootin' brigade...

Boffins pull off quantum leap in true random number generation


I always thought that the generator used for ERNIE (the Premium Bonds picker) was supposed to be completely random.

It might have changed in the years since I was up at National Savings, but the generator I saw relied on two metal discs with a pattern of holes drilled in them. These rotated in opposite directions and were stored up at a high potential difference. The time taken for a spark to jump the gap between them was used as a timing signal for a random seed generator (or something along those lines).

The Register Opera Company presents: The Pirates of Penzance, Sysadmin edition


Re: Ooh, tempting

Mary had a little lamb,

She also had a duck,

She put them in a cardboard box,

To see if they would ... get along well together.

Exploit kit development has gone to sh$t... ever since Adobe Flash was kicked to the curb


The Flash suite is over 20 years old and slated for retirement at 2020 at the latest. ®

Retirement? It should have been taken out back and shot years ago.

Another day, another meeting, another £191bn down the pan


Reminds me of my days in EDS where we'd have to have a pre-meeting meeting meeting to discuss the agenda for the meeting to discuss the agenda for the meeting to figure out the agenda for some workshop or other....

Fancy owning a two-seat Second World War Messerschmitt fighter?


Re: Seems a bit cheap

True, but this is just the asking price at Auction. I'd be really interested in seeing how much it actually sells for.

Boffins: If AI eggheads could go ahead and try to stop their code being evil, that'd be great


Re: phishing mails

As a race, yes. Just look at how many people still read the Daily Mail to see how dumb we are.

Kentucky gov: Violent video games, not guns, to blame for Florida school massacre


It's odd...

... but I've been playing video games (both violent and non-violent) frequently since sometime around 1982 - in fact you could say I spend most of my free time doing so, and not once have I had the urge to either:

(a) Go out and massacre kids at school

(b) Go out and massacre people in the street

(c) Go set fire to some great public building

(d) Go wield a baseball bat at other users on the road

... or any one of countless violent things I could get up to.

Odd that isn't it, if games are to blame for the problems?

IBM: About those agreed voluntary redundancies ... we were just kidding


Re: So many shores.....

Surely though, in the case of the IBMers this time it should be Un-Shore?


If you can keep a straight face, the facilitator (generally a well meaning but totally unqualified moron), can be driven mad

... ah, you mean they're generally someone from HR?

Well done, UK.gov. You hit superfast broadband target (by handing almost the entire project to BT)


BT told me that the maximum I could ever get from my line would be a platry 6Mbs, so when we finally got Hyperoptic to install in the block it was a welcome relief (although took me nearly three years of lobbying the tenant management board and the other residents).

Now, I'm paying around £30/month for 100Mbs synchronous (FTTP) with phone, and regularly get faster than that (around 120Mbs).

Odd though that when I called BT to have the line disconnected and they asked me why, they then stated that they could offer me 'superfast' 50Mb broadband with BTTV thrown in ... although they still couldn't compete on price. Also, when I asked them what had changed recently to enable the uptick from 6Mb max to 50Mb max they told me that there had been no recent engineering work. Go figure. Lying sacks of s**t.

Ex-staffer sues UK's DWP, claims superior blabbed confidential medical info


Re: rigorous process

Nope. the process is flimsy as f*ck, but there's rigour in there somewhere...

Ever wondered why tech products fail so frequently? No, me neither


Re: Software testing?

I presume he means the Sam Vimes Theory of Economic Injustice:


Stop us if you've heard this one: Apple's password protection in macOS can be thwarted


Re: So how does one lock a Mac when stepping away?

Genuine question.

There's no GUI element for it, so if it is possible there must be some secret keyboard salute known only to the True Faithful.

... or you can use hot corners - I have mine set up so I just park the mouse pointer in the lower right hand corner for a couple of seconds

Beer hall putz: Regulator slaps northern pub over Nazi-themed ad


Let's see - leopard skin shoes and leather trousers? A dress reported to have cost £56K. The State has strange tastes.

... and that's just Philip Hammond

We translated Intel's crap attempt to spin its way out of CPU security bug PR nightmare


Re: Gamers largely unaffected by KPTI?

Once the connection to the framebuffer has been established, I'm pretty certain that the game then just talks directly to the video card so likely no Kernel transitions needed at all after the initialisation. Possibly, if the game needs to tear down the connection and re-init the display (eg: if graphics mode has been reset, or if new shaders need to be compiled) .. but generally these chores are done during setup and then left alone during gameplay.

How fast is a piece of string? Boffin shoots ADSL signal down twine


The irony here being that 3.5Mb/s is still faster than some domestic broadband here in Britain...

Donald, YOU'RE FIRED: Rogue Twitter worker quits, deletes President Trump's account


Does this mean Twitter could cause the end of the world as we know it?

There are some that think this may already have happened (or started, at least).

Atto, boy! Eggheads fire laser for 43 attoseconds, fastest Man-made spurt


Re: I'm thinking...

That might be a little strange though

We talk to Tron artist Syd Mead: On the other side of the screen, it all looks so easy


Re: Pong was not the first commercial video game...

IIRC, Computer Space was itself not actually the first Video Game (may have been the first commercial one), but was itself a version of 'Spacewar' which was built at MIT.

However, the American Physical Society does have a page up claiming that a version of Pong was itself the first actual video game back in 1958 ... so who knows ????



Software update turned my display and mouse upside-down, says user


This reminds me of a trick we used to play on folks back in a previous life/career cycle.

We'd remove the back of the old CRT monitors and rotate the deflection coils on the neck of the tube by 180 degrees before reassembling. We'd then turn the screen upside down on top of the user's PC.

Cue much hilarity when the user would arrive at their desk, turn the screen the right way up then boot their PC and wonder why the display was upside down :)

Microsoft reveals details of flagship London store within spitting distance from Apple's


I wonder if they'll be shipping in authentic tumbleweed to roll down the aisles?

Stand up who HASN'T been hit in the Equifax mega-hack – whoa, whoa, sit down everyone


Frankly, it should be illegal for any company that has suffered a breach to offer protection and remediation services to its caffected clients itself. It should always be a trusted third party, as should the investigation into the breach iteself also.

Talk about marking your own homework....

Unable to give up on life on Mars, bio-boffins now thrilled to find boron


Am I the only one who read the headline as

Unable to give up on life on Mars, bio-boffins now thrilled to find bacon


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