* Posts by Alister

3494 posts • joined 19 May 2010

Brit CompSci student faces extradition to US over link site

Alister Silver badge

Not in this case...

As far as I can see, non of the points mentioned in the article you link too apply in this particular case, and therefore he has no criminal case to answer.

Ten thousand OLEDs unite in live Earth replica

Alister Silver badge

Martians on the moon?

And just why would they be there? Have the Lunarites done a timeshare swap?

(anyway, there can't be Martians on the Moon, the Lunar Interceptors would have blown them all up!)

Boffins brew up formula for consummate cuppa

Alister Silver badge

I claim five pounds...

for acknowledging the Douglas Adams quote...

Cambridge startup launches world's first white space radio

Alister Silver badge
Angel

Quite obviously...

...you are holding your basement incorrectly.

Not that big of a deal...

Dam Busters dog dubbed 'Digger'

Alister Silver badge

no Yanks?

@AC 11:02

"Come on, it's a British-based story, no Yanks involved."

There were a number of American aircrew involved in the Dams raid, particularly Joe McCarthy - born and raised in Long Island, New York.

Can cloud save the NHS?

Alister Silver badge

Can cloud save the NHS?

NO!

that is all...

London Ambulance Service downed by upgrade cockup

Alister Silver badge
FAIL

understanding fail

"Curiously the Ambulance Service has the most to gain from computerisation because it has a fairly small, well defined, set of things it must do: take a call, send an ambulance, deal with the problem on arrival and either go to a hospital or back to a standby point. There is a simplish state machine and in a well run control centre, an average ambulance will need to resort to voice once or twice a day at most"

You really have no clue about Ambulance Service work, do you?

Firstly, it's very common for the reported illness / injury to be nothing like what the crew find on the scene. Also, Ambulance crews are called to assaults in pubs, houses, and in the street, just like the police, and have no idea what they may be walking into.

Secondly, as you note for the Police Service, a proportion of calls - road accidents, collapses in the street, leisure pursuit injuries - have no fixed address, and in the latter case can be some distance from accessible roads, particularly in rural areas, and may require coordination of other rescue services, such as Mountain Rescue or helicopter evacuation.

Your glib assessment of the command and control needs of the different services is sadly wrong.

Spot-the-fake site launched

Alister Silver badge

Warning

Mr Jobs may object.

Does he not claim rights to the letter i

Yahoo! downs! mail! servers! for! essential! and extensive! work!

Alister Silver badge

El Reg fail?

"We've asked Yahoo! to comment on this story, but it hadn't immediately got back to us at time of publication."

You e-mailed them, didn't you? go on, admit it...

WW2 naval dazzle-camo 'could beat Taliban RPGs'

Alister Silver badge

As a former naval ossifer

you should know better, Lewis:

<The idea behind dazzle-cam is not to avoid being seen, but to make oneself harder to hit once one has been seen. It was originally meant to prevent German submarines getting an accurate idea of a warship's range, speed and heading, so causing difficulties in getting a hit with a visually aimed dumb torpedo.

From this study it becomes apparent that it never worked in the matter of causing a speed-estimation error, as warships don't go fast enough for the effect to kick in.>

It did work, quite well, in the middle of a large expanse of water with no other reference points, especially when viewed through a water streaked periscope lens 2 foot above the water line.

However, I agree, it won't work very well on a small vehicle on land.

Stealth hovercraft armada poised to invade South Korea

Alister Silver badge
FAIL

hover-hoover

I have personally used a hoover which hovers, so don't be so quick to damn him :-)

Barnsley clamps down on foul-mouthed fu*king locals

Alister Silver badge
Trollface

Nar Im gunna tek me whippet art and get back darn t'pit afterward! See thi!

WHAT! you still have a pit in Barnsley?

Blimey, thought they'd all closed long ago...

World Health Organization: Mobile phone cancer risk 'possible'

Alister Silver badge

And just how...

...did you discover this phenomenon then? Were you shaving whilst chatting on the phone?

Yes, I can explain it, and no you shouldn't be worried...

Linguists use sounds to bypass Skype crypto

Alister Silver badge

Lol!

(ROL, FOL GOL ROL LOL BOL ROL)

Alister Silver badge

anyone know

where I can get a text-to-speech engine with a geordie accent?

Yanks officially recognise the word 'boffin'

Alister Silver badge

I stand to be corrected on this...

but in common use in our family and in this area of England I have always understood the word chunter to mean "to grumble under one's breath", rather than to denote movement in some way, although I suspect that - like grumble - it could be used expressively: as in, "the overloaded train grumbled up the long hill to the summit"

Reindeer can see in ultraviolet, say boffins

Alister Silver badge

almost correct

As mentioned above, it is a recognised consequence of surgery to the lens or capsule of the eye - for instance, cataract surgery - that the person can see an enlarged spectrum which may extend into both IR and UV, as there are natural filters built into the front of the eye.

I am aware of anecdotal evidence from a lady who had cataract surgery who sees colours on flowers that are not visible to other people, and it is now accepted that the artist Claude Monet experienced the same thing.

NASA kills comms with deceased Mars rover

Alister Silver badge

@AC

"We could populate antarctica , the sahara and pretty much any barren wasteland on earth and it would still be better and cheaper."

Yes, and it would still be on one, single, vulnerable planet...

The only way of ensuring that the human race can survive, is to not have all our eggs in one basket.

ESA: British Skylon spaceplane seems perfectly possible

Alister Silver badge

It's a shame...

That like a lot of truly innovative ideas from British designers and Engineers in recent history, this will probably need massive private investment or foreign support to actually come to fruition.

Star probe Kepler finds many multi-world alien suns

Alister Silver badge
Welcome

Ahem...

"Jupiters are the 800-pound gorillas stirring things up during the early history of these systems," explained Latham.

I for one would like to welcome our new 800-pound Space Gorilla overlords...

Huge fat pipe squirts mighty streams

Alister Silver badge
Coat

Reg units

I think the Reg unit of bandwidth for data transfer should be the Bodleian, much easier to type than the "British National Library" or the "Library of Congress".

Incidentally, is the Library of Congress like a very big Kama-Sutra?

Endeavour 'nauts in epic ISS spacewalk

Alister Silver badge

Serious question

Won't any lost bolts' orbits eventually coincide with their original position relative to the ISS?

Boffin quests for, finds 'earphone Holy Grail'

Alister Silver badge
Coat

misheard...

"I spend more time attempting to fit their rubbery tips snugly in my lugs"

FPA "lungs" for some reason...

I was going to suggest not breathing so hard...

DARPA wants weapons-grade military cloud computing

Alister Silver badge

Come on, own up Lewis...

"DARPA already has a project intended to provide secure hosts, perhaps rather unfortunately dubbed Clean-slate design of Resilient, Adaptive, Secure Hosts (CRASH)."

...you made that up, didn't you?

...didn't you??

Oh!

That's as bad as Microsoft Danger. (well, nearly)

O2's southeastern crash caused by 'well-organised theft'

Alister Silver badge

ooops...

Gives a whole new meaning to "dropped packets"

Alister Silver badge

dark net

so... hypothetically, could someone set up a "private" mobile network using this kit (plus a radio mast or two)?

Shuttle mission: SPAWNING of the SPACE KRAKEN

Alister Silver badge
Pint

I for one...

Welcome Lewis' ongoing mission to expand and embigginate our language.

"we're talking here, basically, about some kind of glowing stealth assassin hyperbloboloid shapeshifter creature even before the hideous warpening and embulgenation effects of space come into play"

At least one Pint for that...

Jaguar hybrid supercar gets green light

Alister Silver badge

Is this the one...

...that the Williams Formula 1 team did some design work on?

Nutter preflames El Reg 'cockheads'

Alister Silver badge

preemptive strike

Obviously the gentleman had a point he wished to make, and was upset that you didn't give him the opportunity to use his impressive commentard skills in the usual fashion.

Maybe he'll be along in a bit to further abuse you...

Apple floats iCloud for 'email, music, and beyond'

Alister Silver badge
Coat

i-patch - the security software supplier

I'd have thought i-patch would be the perfect trademark for a piracy website...

Thank you, the one with the cutlass in the pocket...

Alister Silver badge

next week...

Apple sues the world for using the term "Cloud".

(prior art? Naah...)

HP ProLiant power supplies 'may die when dormant'

Alister Silver badge
WTF?

Oh come on...

"It's hard to tell what actually caused the issue, but HP believes it was environmental – that the power supplies or the servers were stored in an area of high humidity, water, etc."

From what the article suggests, the servers were in racks in a data-centre, not on the floor in a cellar. Are Parisian data-centres really likely to be any more wet or humid than any other data-centre??

What rubbish.

Internet child porn investigators net South Aust MP

Alister Silver badge

@AC

"If we listened to the pedants, we'd still be going ug ug"

Shouldn't that be ug ug?

The comments on El Reg would be fun to read though, wouldn't they:

ug UG ug, ug ug ug.

UG, ug ug /ug/ ug.

Ug?

Ug. Ug ug, ugugugug...

Alister Silver badge
WTF?

Standard English???

WTF do you mean by Standard English?

Decimate means to remove one tenth... what's so hard about that?

From the Latin "decem" : ten

As in Decimal.

Lasers set to replace spark plugs in car engines

Alister Silver badge

Oh!...

You're talking about engines...

I was talking about Paris.

Believe me, you don't want to start that cycle in the wrong place...

Alister Silver badge

Middle Management

will soon have us down from

"The Shark Tank of Fear"

to

"The Goldfish Bowl of Mild irritation"

Doesn't have quite the same ring to it...

Mind you, Goldfish with LEDs on their heads... Hmmm...

Alister Silver badge

wrong order...

for best results, as I'm sure she knows, it should be Suck, Squeeze, Bang, Blow.

Alister Silver badge

Budget cuts

Can't afford Capex for sharks, so we're looking at pike or barracuda instead to populate our new, efficient "dangerous swimmy thing" tank in the Fortress OF Doom...

Alister Silver badge

Enquiring minds want to know...

as these new "frikkin' lazoors" are deemed hardy enough for automotive use, are they now small enough and tough enough for reliable piscene cranial applications?

Skilling up the cloud: What it means for infosecurity pros

Alister Silver badge

must get my eyes checked

First parsed the title as Skiing up the Cloud...

Thought it was another DARPA story

Short domain land-rush coming to .uk

Alister Silver badge

aa?

Why was American Airlines awarded a .co.uk domain - surely it should have been the Automobile Association which is at least a UK based organisation. (Or Alcoholics Anonymous, but they're international aren't they?)

FTP celebrates ruby anniversary

Alister Silver badge

Still used here

We still use FTP (over VPN) as the quickest method of uploading large chunks of data to remote servers, no other protocol we have tried is faster or consumes less bandwidth, so I'm quite happy for FTP to continue.

Assange™ says Guardian claims 'completely fabricated'

Alister Silver badge

New unit of measurement

...the Google hits count.

That's a far more accurate measurement than reality.

Avast alert finds WHOLE WEB malign

Alister Silver badge

t i t l e

What?... You mean it hasn't already??

Upgrade-hungry office drones ponder PC prangs

Alister Silver badge
Unhappy

Thanks a bunch

I've now had three users forward me this article, along with varied inventive suggestions as to how their PC / monitor might "accidentally" break.

I haven't got the budget - so I'll pass the bill on to Vulture Central, shall I??

Can Bing ride IE and WinPho to Google triumph?

Alister Silver badge

bias

"One is Internet Explorer. Though IE has been losing market share, the browser is good business for Bing. Analysis by comScore shows that Microsoft sites get a higher share of searches from IE compared to Chrome and Firefox, while Google gets it's lowest per centage of searches from the Microsoft browser."

I don't think these statistics support an interpretation that there is an informed choice - such that users of IE "prefer" Bing or users of Firefox / Chrome "prefer" Google.

Is this not just a consequence of the overwhelming majority of clueless users sticking with the default start pages their browser comes with? So IE has BIng as it's default, Firefox and Chrome have Google, when first installed.

Record Patch Tuesday with 17-bulletin bumper crop

Alister Silver badge

Ummm...

Because this plethora of Microsoft updates is likely to cause lots of Windoze boxen to fall over, so it's a warning to all Windoze Admins to book their holiday now (w/c 11th April - don't forget)

Mozilla ditches Messaging wing, eyes social webby sweetshop

Alister Silver badge

lost its way

IME Thunderbird has been going downhill since before 3.0 - I gave up on it as it would no longer run properly. Replaced it with Postbox - a fork of Thunderbird which works well.

HMS Ark Royal goes under the hammer

Alister Silver badge

novel idea

Dear sir / madam, I wish to purchase your vessel the HMS Ark Royal, to use for home defence and the projection of force abroad, for a small island off the coast of Europe which currently has no naval air presence.

I understand that you may also have some suitable VTOL / STOL aircraft going cheap?

Lindsay Lohan ditches her surname

Alister Silver badge
Paris Hilton

What above Earth are you doing at 60,000ft???

Sigh...

This is the P.A.R.I.S section, did you not get it?

Paris... well... as above, really - she always gets it

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