* Posts by Alister

3265 posts • joined 19 May 2010

Weary quid-a-day nosh hack fears colonal mass ejection

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: The final furlong

I splorfed...

Alister Silver badge
Happy

and how appropriate that you should be the one to comment, given your user name.

Although, Capped In Underpants might be nearer

Quid-a-day nosh challenge hack forms foraging party

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Re: Alcohol withdrawal?

I'm guessing the tobacco doesn't count as food, either ;-)

Alister Silver badge

six cuppas a day!

Blimey, I've passed that already, and it's only half eleven

Is the IT industry short on Cobolers? This could be your lucky day

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Is the industry short on Cobolers

FPA cobblers...

Couldn't work out where they fitted into IT

Oi, journos. Try NOT to get hacked again. Lots of love, Twitter

Alister Silver badge

Re: 2FA

Twitter is working on 2FA. :-)

No, I think you misheard, Twitter is working on sweet FA

Next Xbox to be called ‘Xbox Infinity’... er... ‘Xbox’

Alister Silver badge
Coat

they should simply call each console the Xbox, and then retrospectively rename each generation of the old consoles as ex-box, ex-ex-box, and my favourite; the ex-ex-ex-box!

and not forgetting the Australian version, the four-ex-box

Reg hack to starve on £1 a day for science

Alister Silver badge

The question is, are you starting from nothing, in terms of food stocks you're allowed to have, and are you only allowed to spend one pound per day, or a fiver at the start of the week?

If the former, and starting with nothing, I really doubt you could successfully buy a meal a day with just a pound. You could probably buy a bag of rice (just) on your first day, but that would be it, no meat or veg or sauce.

If you can spend a fiver at the start of the week then It would probably be doable.

Your phone may not be spying on you now - but it soon will be

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Coat

Smash it with a hammer now, it's the only way to be sure.

Dear El Reg, having followed your advice as above, I now find great difficulty in making calls on my smartphone.

The touchscreen appears to be not as responsive as before, and the large cracks across it make viewing the screen difficult.

In addition, the phone fails to ring on occasion when an incoming call is received.

Please can you advise what I can do to improve matters.

ICO probes Home Office refusal to reveal Snooper's Charter details

Alister Silver badge

"So, it's astonishing that Home Office bureaucrats are risking contempt of court by trying to cover up the most basic information on how the scheme will operate in practice."

No, it's not astonishing, they haven't got a clue how it's going to operate in practice.

It's official! Register hack is an alcohol-flushed cave dweller

Alister Silver badge
Boffin

Re: tempted

i'm tempted, curiosity/cat/homicide and all that. but would it be a mistake to know this stuff?

would i suddenly become paranoid to discover i have an increase chance of heart attack, and then the stress which that knowledge induces could be the cause for my eventual cardiac arrest?

Only you know the answer to that, however, let's try a little experiment...

Come over here and sit down, there's something I need to tell you...

No, I really think it would be best if you sit down first...

Now look, you know you sent off for that DNA test a while ago, well...

Magic mystery malware menaces many UK machines - new claim

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It would be nice if we were told how to identify any potential infection by this malware...

New York cops testing Big Brother crime-data Android app

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Facepalm

Reminds me of Demolition man:

automated assistant: In a firm voice, order Maniac to lie down with his hands behind his back.

...

Squad Leader: Maniac has responded with a scornful remark.

automated assistant: Approach, and repeat ultimatum in an even firmer tone of voice. Add the words, "or else".

Windows 7 'security' patch knocks out PCs, knackers antivirus tools

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Joke

Win 7 PCs in Samba-loving Brazil are apparently hardest hit.

Well if you will use an open source network protocol, what do you expect?

Oh S**T, here comes a robot to take my job

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Dockers should become engineers; miners should become programmers.

In my experience, miners became Police Officers, Fire Fighters, Ambulance Staff or Nurses, strangely.

... time machine. Iranian Dr Who claims he invented a ...

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Headmaster

Re: Stop this faggotry worthwith

Umm... Forthwith, Shirley?

Mali to give away .ML domains for free

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Thumb Up

Gormless circumlunar HTML slumlord primly gimlets bottomless hamlet

Nice!

A lightbulb that does IPv6: You know you want it

Alister Silver badge

Whilst it makes a nice headline, I fail to see any point in having a light bulb that is IP aware. The light switch that controls it, maybe, but why each individual bulb? It's nonsense.

Rackspace gobbles Exceptional Cloud Services for Redis smarts

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Mushroom

A little Redis to go with your MongoDB, sir?

Finally, monsieur, a wafer-thin mint.

But sir, it's only a tiny, little thin one.

see icon...

Forget the invisibility cloak: Boffins invent INVISIBILITY FISHNETS

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Coat

So, ideal for sneaking past microwave intruder alarms, then, excellent.

Yes, coat, the funny looking fishnet one.

I've got a super free multi-petabyte storage box for you: /dev/null

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Archive to disc

If you archive to disc, which is then spun down and stored, is there more or less data degradation over time in comparison to tape?

Watch the skies: SPACE HEDGEHOG plunges to Earth in Oxfordshire

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WTF?

Is it just me, or does their spacecraft include a tray of apples??

Oi, Microsoft, where's my effin' toolbar gone?

Alister Silver badge
Coat

Re: A mole of an anthill?

It's a mole with a sticker on the side:

"Anthill Inside"

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FAIL

Re: Word is brilliant!

I think you make a mole of an anthill

Interesting project, and way to mix any number of metaphors...

Alister Silver badge

I weep for the next generation of users, who will be forced to wrestle with software interfaces that no longer react according to what you choose to do, but writhe about the screen like ghastly creatures with unnatural lives of their own, while the helpless user can do nothing but watch on in horror as their work gets dragged into the spectral shadows, their deadlines ripped to fleshy shreds and their very souls consumed in the vile and bestial depths of hell.

...aaand, breathe.

Nice sentence :-)

Googlification of Britain: Forget 'IT worker', we're all just 'digital' now

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Facepalm

But above all they must understand that the challenge now is not about information technology, but about designing, developing and delivering great, user-centred digital services.

A-huh, I look forward to seeing them deliver "user-centred digital services" without information technology, should be quite a challenge...

Boffins build robo-CHIMP for DARPA challenge

Alister Silver badge

Re: So is it a tele operated remote handler or a true robot?

The article says Robotic entrants for the $2m prize must be able to operate without a power line or wired connection so I'm guessing the latter.

Six things a text editor must do - or it's a one-way trip to the trash

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Re: notepad++

it isn't the worst icon on my desktop - that belongs to the VPN icon of a padlock that wouldn't look out of place on Windows 3.1.

Cisco!

Do I get a prize??

Alister Silver badge
Coat

Re: Speaking of Emacs, ....

Emacs would be a great O/S if only it had a decent text editor...

Ten serious sci-fi films for the sentient fan

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What about The Abyss?

and I agree, Contact should be on the list.

Chaos Theory causes password entry pandemonium

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Re: Correct Horse Battery Staple

IF the website \ program will allow it of course...

...and this is the problem, the overwhelming majority of websites and applications I use, that require a password, are still insistent on it containing capital letters, numbers and non-alphabetical characters, or limit it to 12 characters, or don't allow spaces.

I want my password to be cheese pizza with anchovies but I usually end up with B4c0n4nd3gg!

BRITAIN MUST DECLARE WAR on Cervinaean menace

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Coat

It's lean, rich and lower in fat than the main meat groups.

...Just like Horse...

Apple CEO Cook's investor-meeting reveal: 'Dog bites man'

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Bathroom?

Being right-pondian, reading the word Bathroom always makes me wonder, just for a moment, why anyone would want to take a bath in a retail store - even one so exalted as an Apple store. Perhaps cleanliness is next to Jobs-liness.

Even the word Washroom conjures up an image of a hospital sluice, rather than a place to go for a piss.

Why can't you just say toilet, or if you want to be coy about it, lavatory?

MasterCard tries to zap PayPal with own-brand mobe wallet

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Meh

The change now taking place, ... is consumers’ growing desire to pay not with a card but their phone.

Is that really the case? I am perhaps a luddite (despite working in IT) but I have no desire to pay by phone, and I haven't yet met anyone who expressed that desire.

New social network is for DEAD PEOPLE

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Re: Has Reg Shoe joined yet?

I'd have picked "Night Watch", meself...

Trekkies detect Spock's Vulcan homeworld ORBITING PLUTO

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— Leonard Nimoy (@TheRealNimoy)

Sadly DeForest Kelley never had a Twitter account, but it's a shame, as he could have been @TheRealMcCoy

Perfect sex minx calculated from 'deep' probe of X-rated flicks

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Coat

Re: ::yawns::

Oh4FS wrote:

10 million and one of them stuffing dildos in every orifice ...It's like 10,000 reruns of Gilligans Island....

I must have missed that episode...

Boffins use DVD burner to scale graphene supercapacitors

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Re: El-Kady

What's more Graphite Oxide? Isn't that carbon dioxide? Is someone pulling someone's lower limb?

No,

Graphite (Carbon) Oxide = 1 Carbon and 1 Oxygen

Carbon Dioxide = 1 Carbon and 2 Oxygen

Concurrent gives old SQL users new Hadoop tricks

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Trollface

Will it still let me do this?

INSERT INTO Students VALUES ('Robert'); DROP TABLE STUDENTS; --

Apple design bloke Ive finally honoured properly - with Blue Peter badge

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Angel

I think you're confusing Jonathan Ive and Jeremy Clarkson...

Obama says patent trolls 'extort money', pledges reform

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FAIL

@ Ronald J Riley

Nice rant, shame about the comprehension fail...

The sentence you quote has nothing to do with Obama's view on patent trolls, it is talking about teaching programming in schools.

Satanic Renault takes hapless French bloke on 200km/h joyride

Alister Silver badge

Re: No brakes? - Range Rover

@ TeeCee

quote: The separate transmission brake on Land Rover vehicles is actually a drum brake. Apart from the obvious advantages in having all the vulnerable bits inside a drum casing rather than dangling exposed under the car, drums are superior to disks as hand / emergency brakes as they are, by nature, self-servoing.

Depends on what age of vehicle - my Series 2 and 3, and my early 110 had a drum transmission brake, but my later Ninety and later Range Rovers had a disk brake. In my experience, the drum brake filled with either water or oil from the transfer box, and became quite ineffectual, not a problem with the disc.

Alister Silver badge

Re: No brakes? - Range Rover

Arnold Lieberman wrote:

I do know of someone who managed to do a whole motorway journey in her Range Rover with the handbrake on - I think a new set of pads/disks was all that was required.

It's probably safer to drive a Range Rover at speed with the handbrake applied than it would be a normal car, as the handbrake acts on a separate disk on the back of the gearbox, rather than on individual wheels.

The only danger is breaking the half shafts if you apply the handbrake suddenly whilst moving.

CEO Tim Cook: Apple retail stores are 'like Prozac' to me

Alister Silver badge

Re: "It's like Prozac."

Be funny if this quote was misinterpreted and taken as a Ratner-esque comment on the excitement of Apple Stores.

UK doesn't have the SKILLS to save itself from cyber threats

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Stop

Re: Need to Know Rules the Cyber Roost

Can I just point out that two posts ago you said:

And that is as much as I wish to say, today, on the matter. Have a nice one, y'all.

Shut up, already...

Alister Silver badge

Re: Security skills

Goddammit, that's twice now I've had to give you an upvote.

Stop being so reasonable, will you!!!

Shocked jocks' O2 calls crossed with Brummies, now everyone's cross

Alister Silver badge

Re: You still have landlines in England???

Speaking of party lines, anyone else remember 1 & 1 carrier (or WB900). I fitted a few of them over the years.

One subscriber had a normal analogue pair, and the other subscriber used the same pair but their audio signal was carried by modulating a 40Khz carrier signal down the same line.

Filters at the subscriber premises and exchange kept the two signals apart.

I remember we used to have problems with the carrier subscriber picking up radio signals from the BBC.

Alister Silver badge

Crossed lines get their name from the first automatic phone networks, based around a "crossbar" switch

Nonsense, crossed lines predate crossbar switches by at least 20 years, and probably longer.

There were a number of reasons why you would be able to overhear another call. In the early days of paper and lead insulated cables, (still in use in the 70s and 80s) you could end up with cross-talk between pairs if the cable got wet.

For actual interconnection of calls, these could be caused by the operator plugging a call into the wrong jack, and later, on Strowger exchanges, they could be caused by the wiper stepping to the wrong contact due to relay stutter.

Men's rights activists: Symantec branded us a 'hate group'

Alister Silver badge

...It is not the job of Norton Symantec to be telling their customers which sites are and are not morally acceptable."

Umm, only it is, really, that's the basis on which the product is sold. You don't have to use it though.

FUD flies as Raytheon reveals social media analysis tool

Alister Silver badge
Happy

Re: Social networks are clouds - a snooper's paradise - DATA ENTROPY

Do you know, Eadon has made a post which did not contain one instance of the word "Microsoft", nor did it try to tie in any aspect of the article to a certain Redmond based company.

Have an upvote, take two aspirin and go and lie down...

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