* Posts by Alister

3218 posts • joined 19 May 2010

Royal Navy parks 470 double-decker buses on Queen Elizabeth

Alister Silver badge
Facepalm

No catapult, no use...

Is there no-one in the Navy, the government or the procurement teams who realises that without a catapult, the ship is virtually useless as an aircraft carrier?

Even if your strike aircraft are capable of unassisted takeoff with a useable payload (which is not a given) how about all the ancilliary aircraft normally used in carrier operations?

An aircraft carrier will normally have a complement of AWACS (or AEW) planes to provide eyes over the horizon, these (like for instance the EC2 Hawkeye) need a catapult to get off the deck with sufficient fuel load to be useful.

Then you have Carrier Onboard Delivery. All the mail, spare parts, personnel transfers etc are collected and delivered by aircraft: helicopters don't have the range and payload necessary, so again, you need an aircraft which will require an assisted takeoff to be of any practical use.

So, what actual use is this shiny new carrier? None, that I can see.

You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

Alister Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Regarding the terminology problems...

...I do think that as a member of an industry which has things called 'floppy discs' which don't bend and are square, we do really have only ourselves to blame.

I rather think you are showing that you are a relative newcomer to the industry, if you don't know what the origin of the term is, or that removable disks were floppy, at one time...

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Thumb Up

“Well, it’s all black with a rectangle in the middle that’s moving up and down slowly, and it says in big letters ‘No connection found’.”

Bill, do you see the big button at the front of the big box under your screen? Good. Press it.

“Ah, there we go. Cheers!”

Classic, absolutely spot on.

Google de-listing of BBC article 'broke UK and Euro public interest laws' - So WHY do it?

Alister Silver badge

Where on earth has this idea come from that Google have any legal obligation to provide a link to any content on the web?

If they choose to remove their link, that's up to them, and whether they did it to score points or not neither the EU commission nor anybody else can tell them to put it back, and I'm sure they know that.

AVG: We need laws to stop biz from tracking our kids

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Who mentioned anything about IP addresses?

Keith McMahon, tech analyst, dies at 50

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Sad to hear.

Far too soon...

HP gets 'Playboy model and the ex-CEO' lawsuit kicked out ... again

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The shareholders really should know better than to twist the Tigar's tail...

Study of Brit students finds TXTING doesn't ruin your writing

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Facepalm

but if they advertise any vacency

Oh the humanity, oh the irony...

Longer flights burning more fuel can cut planes' climate impact

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Joke

The researchers suggest that ... airlines could change routes to avoid the weather conditions that lead to increased contrails.

Contrails form in cold, moist air, and are caused either by the condensation of water vapour in the engine exhaust, or by the turbulence at wingtips causing water vapour in the air to condense.

So, no flights allowed over the UK, then...

Google spaffs $50 MILLION on 'get girls coding' campaign

Alister Silver badge

UK gov's Year of Code

Ah yes, 6 months in, I haven't noticed much in the way of progress with this...

Tor is '90 per cent of the net' claims City of London Police Commish – and he's dead wrong

Alister Silver badge

It's amazing how predictable this is becoming.

Back in August of last year, I wrote the following comment in a thread on the Reg (here)

"I notice that certain sections of the UK press have cottoned on to the use of the Tor network, and have labelled it "a tool of paedos".

It would not surprise me if we soon see calls for knee-jerk legislation to try and block anonymising services, VPNs and encryption software."

Unfortunately, it looks like this is close to becoming true.

Mobe battery flat? These ELECTRIC PANTS will pump things up

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You just turn them inside out when they get crusty...

DON'T PANIC: Facebook returns after 30-minute outage terror

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The Guardian's inevitable liveblog claims the Facebook outage is its "longest service disruption in living memory".

Do they mean longest disruption of Facebook, or just in general?

Either way they're talking bollocks.

AT&T has Amazon 3D smartphone on lockdown – report

Alister Silver badge
Headmaster

Amazon to drop veil

It should be "lift veil" shirley?

Car titans WON'T STEAL our tech, says Musk: DAMNIT, I'll GIVE IT to 'em

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Re: Publicity Stunt

It's all very well pushing for higher use of electric cars, as opposed to i/c engined vehicles, but no-one seems to be considering that the electricity has to come from somewhere.

Here in the UK the government is already proposing measures to curb the use of electricity. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/06/10/uk_preps_ww2style_energy_rationing/

Cisco: You think the internet is clogged with video now? Just wait until 2018

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Re: Enough already

No, no, no!

It's one, two, many, lots...

BOFH: On the contrary, we LOVE rebranding here at the IT dept

Alister Silver badge

Re: GCHQ wants to know what NSA hasn't a clue about and isn't being recorded for reporting in leaks

NURSE! HE'S FORGOTTEN HIS PILLS AGAIN!

Measure for measure: We visit the most applied-physicist-rich building in the UK

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It's the Schneider Race seaplane

Nope, it isn't, the S5 looked very different to that, particularly round the engine cowlings, it's a Spitfire.

Alister Silver badge
Coat

Surely the pic of the Spitfire is upside down???

Microsoft poised to take Web server crown from Apache

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Can someone actually point to a popular CMS for IIS...

Well, since you ask, Sitefinity and Umbraco are two of the most common.

SLOW DOWN: Insecure-by-design software on road

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Ah, if only the Motorway matrix signs required hacking, they can be nonsensical without any malicious help...

On a lonely stretch of the M6 miles from any service station or junction, I am advised to "Check Your Tyre Pressures"

What, now?? Do you want me to stop??

Or the even more obscure "Use the correct child seat". WTF??

Damn you El Reg, Call me a Boffin, demands enraged boffin

Alister Silver badge

Re: Before acquiescing to his demand...

...I hope you verified that he wore a white coat.

and uses a straight stemmed pipe to point to his diagrams...

EBAY... You keep using that word 'ENCRYPTION' – it does not mean what you think it means

Alister Silver badge
Facepalm

Re: Is it time to get out more and use paper money?

Instead I can only chose from one of their questions with easily traceable answers, e.g. "What is your mother's maiden name?".

What, you mean you would answer that truthfully?

Blimey!

Brits to vote: Which pressing scientific challenge should get £10m thrown at it?

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Re: non-resistant antibiotics

It wasn't me...

Alister Silver badge

non-resistant antibiotics

No such thing.

It may be possible to produce new antibiotics for which the human body and the various biological pathogens have no current resistance, but as soon as you start using it, there will gradually be more and more cases of resistance.

What we should be doing is re-educating patients and the medical profession to stop expecting, and stop handing out antibiotics for minor infections, or even (as has happened) for viral illnesses on which they have no effect.

Boffin fights fire with EXPLOSIVES instead of water

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Re: Hang on...

I don't think that was quite the same... they used explosives to cap the well-head with debris.

Brits: Wanna know how late your train is? Now you can slurp straight from the source for free

Alister Silver badge

That graph implies that nationalisation might not be the answer

Correlation Does Not Imply Causation!

In that same time period, road use began to reach breaking point, and road congestion is as much a factor in rail passenger numbers as anything else, I would have thought.

EBay, you keep using the word 'SECURITY'. I do not think it means what you think it means

Alister Silver badge

Re: Quick!

Why was this message not released earlier?

Because they only just found out?

Picture special: LOHAN makes fire in the sky at 15,000m

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Successful SRB separation

Just like the shuttle!!

Boffins suggest storage be baked into mobile base stations

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Re: Boffin's say - FFS !

Just because Americans and other lower orders have started to interpret Boffin as a derogatory term, doesn't mean that this is the case at El Reg, where the word Boffin is used in it's most original sense as a term of endearment and respect for those engaged in breakthrough science and engineering, frequently associated with sheds and pipe-smoking.

Xiaomi launches Mi Pad fondleslablette – your (legal) move, Apple

Alister Silver badge

The company's name is Xiaomi, isn't it?

Isn't that pronounced "sue mee"?

Honey, the satnav app says you're to leave at 6am... Yup. I'll have that coffee off you

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I still don't get why anyone would bother to use a Sat-Nav (or App) for their daily commute - It's a journey you do every day, surely you should know the route and any shortcuts or alternatives?

Some people seem to be completely unable to function in life without a computer telling them what to do...

</grumpyoldman>

Portable toilet mistaken for killer Nork drone

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If you follow the signs for the toilet on a RyanAir flight, you end up on the wing... Mind you, it's guaranteed to make you shit yourself...

Order and shipping woes to hit Juniper in early summer, warns distie

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Gawd 'elp... Their lead times are legendary already, so we could be looking at 6-month waiting lists at this rate!

Amazon granted patent for taking photos against a white background – seriously

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Facepalm

Re: I have a patent on corporeal being.

I remember it ends ZZPluralZ.

You forgot the Alpha...

US alliance strengthens LOHAN imaging arsenal

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MODE=PHOTO

...

AUDIO_VOLUME=4

Just curious, why bother with the audio?

Google's self-driving car breakthrough: Stop sign no longer a problem

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Re: Um, yes.

If you drive one around here, I'll drop a dirty big loom on it.

No, no, no...

The recognised method is to use a grand piano - a far more satisfying outcome.

FTC: State laws blocking Tesla's direct sales are 'protectionist'

Alister Silver badge
Pint

What a bunch of smouldering knob-goblins.

My new favourite phrase, thank you!

Pirate Bay's 10 millionth upload: Colour us shocked, a SMUT FLICK

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Re: Help please

@Pascal Monett

Troll, do not feed....

Alister Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: We flicked through his uploads

I don't know why you were downvoted, as far as I can see it's a legitimate, and interesting point you raise, if these sites are blocked, do you potentially commit an offence by bypassing the block?

Have an upvote.

UK bank heist-by-KVM gang sent down for 24 years after nicking £1.2m

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"This case demonstrates the sheer investigative skill we are able to apply to tackling cyber crime, as we continue working to keep London people and businesses safe from cyber criminals."

<cough>Bullshit<cough>

Oh, I'm sorry, did I type that out loud?

Reg probe bombshell: How we HACKED mobile voicemail without a PIN

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Sorry, what did you say Orlowski's mobile number was, again?

Sent from my iPhone

DeSENSORtised: Why the 'Internet of Things' will FAIL without IPv6

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RFC1918 address space

I know a funny story about that...

We moved offices a couple of years ago, and as part of that move we carefully re-planned our network.

For all the servers which were required to be accessible externally, we moved them onto a separate sub-net with VPNs in place - both site-to-site and client-to-site - for branch offices and home workers to connect. For the sake of argument, lets say we put these servers on 192.168.28.32/27.

Anyway, about a year ago, one of the company Directors started complaining that he couldn't get to these servers anymore from home. It took us a while before we realised he'd recently bought and set up a new broadband router, and, trying to be clever, he'd set it to serve DHCP addresses on 192.168.28.0/24 instead of the usual 192.168.1..0...

Alister Silver badge

IPV4 shortage

We know there's a finite limit to the IPV4 address space, and we now have to jump through hoops and fill in loads of forms to justify our usage for each and every one.

But I personally know of at least 4 different /27 blocks that we stopped using in 2008 which have not been re-used, and still appear in the RIPE database as ours, even though they aren't routed to any of our existing networks. A couple I've just tried still have reverse DNS entries for a couple of mail servers of ours, even though there's no forward lookup to that IP anymore.

So how come they haven't been re-allocated, if we're so short of IPs?

Japan plans SEVEN satellite launches to supercharge GPS

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...next best thing to flying cars that we'll not be seeing until the portable fusion reactor can power the gravity modulation plates that nobody has invented yet.

Well, if you're going to start bitching about the trivial little details...

:)

UK.gov chucks £28m at F1 tech for buses and diggers plan

Alister Silver badge

I'm pretty sure I used to travel on buses with flywheel regenerative braking in the late eighties, so why is this suddenly big news?

IRS boss on XP migration: 'Classic fix the airplane while you're flying it attempt'

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NSA fail either way

the NSA reportedly used the flaw for its own hacking purposes and never warned folks

but the NSA tweeted that it did no such thing:

NSA was not aware of the recently identified Heartbleed vulnerability until it was made public.

So they either knew about it and didn't tell anyone, which will not impress various large corporate bodies who've had to spend money to mitigate against it, or they didn't know about it and were caught hopping, in which case they're in trouble because they bloody SHOULD have known about it.

OK, we get the message, Microsoft: Windows Defender splats 1000s of WinXP, Server 2k3 PCs

Alister Silver badge

That's a nice computer you have there, shame if anything happened to it...

like THIS for instance...

Are you sure we can't interest you in an upgrade?

Zucker punched: Google gobbles Facebook-wooed Titan Aerospace

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Looks like in a few years the lower atmosphere is going to be more cluttered than Low-Earth Orbit is, and commercial airliners are going to be playing Dodge-The-Drone on every flight.

Apple says iOS, OS X is immune to Heartbleed SSL bug

Alister Silver badge

I gave myself permission to look at one of our Mac Book Airs.

The reported version of openssl is 0.9.8 so that'll do me.

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