* Posts by Alister

3265 posts • joined 19 May 2010

Boffins attempt to prove the universe is just a hologram

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Re: Bohemian Rhapsody week?

It's not unusual...

Oh Please Gods, not Tom Jones...

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Re: Excellent (quantum theory of socks)

I've yet to fathom the "neat cables go into the bag, tangled ones come out" mystery.

It's due to Malignancy "The local hostility of things towards non- things" or, as we now call it, Quantum Entanglement...


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Re: Sock gnomes

Eater of Socks / Verruca gnome


Security precogs divine web vulnerabilities BEFORE THEY EXIST

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Their predictions, made with 66 per cent accuracy...

Hmmm, two out of three ain't bad...

Hi-ho EVO: VMware eyes TWO new hardware-flavored trademarks

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Re: Funny

I thought it was a Mitsubishi car...

Stand clear! Will HTC's One act as a defibrillator for Windows Phone?

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Stand clear! Will HTC's One act as a defibrillator for Windows Phone?

What, you mean stop it dead?

That is, after all, what a defibrillator does...


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Re: Explosives factory

Just remember, thick walls, thin roof: that's how you build 'em...

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Given the support you've had from the Dutch, French and Germans authorities, I'm curious why you don't try for launch in one of those countries?

OK so Germany has a lot of trees, so that may be a bad idea...

Hear ye, young cyber warriors of the realm: GCHQ wants you

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Well there's one thing, working in IT for GCHQ is one of the few places in Britain where you're unlikely to have your job outsourced...

Lazy sysadmins rooted in looming Mozilla cert wipeout

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I've just queried this with both Mozilla and Entrust - as we have a large number of sites with Entrust SSL certs.

Just to clarify, Mozilla are removing the 1024bit root and intermediate certificates, and therefore any certs with those in the key chain will fail.

However, any SSL cert bought within the last 18 months (from Entrust at least) uses the 2048bit root and intermediate certificate chain, and these will not be affected.

Look, no client! Not quite: the long road to a webbified Vim

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Re: Why bother?

You can't see any benefit, at all, for providing these debugging tools directly in the applications that are used to deliver the content?

Not when it turns what should be a client application into a full-fat development environment, no.

As I said, Firebug is useful, but I wouldn't want it switched on all the time, or built into the browser without being able to disable or remove it - which is what the OP seems to be suggesting.

You wouldn't expect a desktop or mobile app to also include there own debugging environment would you? so why hinder a web browser with it?

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Why bother?

I really, really don't get this.

The web browser is a client application for viewing web pages. The vast majority of users of web browsers don't want or need development tools built in, and it just adds to the bloat and slows the browser down.

Firebug is a great diagnostic add-on tool for tweaking CSS or finding obscure errors, but why try and use it as a development tool?

If you're a developer, then either use an IDE, of which there are hundreds (why only mention two of the worst, Dreamweaver and FrontPage?) or just use a text editor (with syntax highlighting if you want), a browser and a local instance of a server.

Is that really too complicated for the modern web developer?

Uh, Obama? Did you miss a zero or two off Samsung's Chinese supplier 'fib' settlement?

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I guess the US Government doesn't use Cisco Catalyst switches and routers then, AFAIK they are (or were) all manufactured in China.

TV transport tech, part 1: From server to sofa at the touch of a button

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Re: That confirms what I thought.....(@Alister)

Dan, I'm sorry that you failed to understand the tongue-in-cheek nature of my post, and would like to reassure you that I don't think that all Americans are like Homer Simpson.

I've seen Dukes of Hazzard, The A Team, and Dallas, so I know that isn't true...

Oh by the way, most Brittons don't speak with a Cockney accent, or go dancing about on roofs with a chimney sweep's brush either, and nor do we sound like BBC announcers of the fifties.

Just FYI...


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Re: Interesting terminology...

Set-top box

I think it's an Americanism, and certainly, from my extensive research (watching Simpsons) it would appear that they used to place these devices on top of the television.

However, as you say, in this age of LED widescreens there's not much room to balance the satellite, DVD, VHS, Playstation, XBox and kitchen sink on top anymore...

Microsoft Azure goes TITSUP (Total Inability To Support Usual Performance)

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I received this ten days ago:

As part of our ongoing commitment to performance, reliability, and security, we sometimes perform maintenance operations in our Microsoft Azure regions and datacenters.

We want to notify you of an upcoming maintenance operation. We will be performing maintenance on our networking hardware. We are scheduling the update to occur during nonbusiness hours as much as possible, in each maintenance region. Single and multi-instance Virtual Machines and Cloud Services deployments will reboot once during this maintenance operation. Each instance reboot should last 30 to 45 minutes.

The following are the planned start times, provided in both Universal Time Coordinated (UTC) and United States Pacific Daylight Time (PDT). The maintenance will be split into two windows and will impact Virtual Machines or Cloud Services in either half of the maintenance. We expect each half of the maintenance to finish within 12 hours of the start time.

The maintenance period was from the 15th to the 17th August, so it looks as though they managed to stuff it up some how...

Take the shame: Microsofties ADMIT to playing Internet Explorer name-change game

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Re: Name



Sorry I am lazy :(

I'm sorry, but that's too generic, you must be more specific.

Web Browser

There, that's much better.

Top Gun display for your CAR: Heads-up fighter pilot tech

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Re: Health and safety gone maddddd!

Not sure I agree about the analogue speedo...

a digital speedo (I can read them faster, since its just two symbols my brain instantly understands, rather than looking where a line is pointing..)

I may be displaying old-fart-ness, but I find I can interpret an anologue speedo dial much faster than a digital readout, as it forms a picture which I recognise, rather than having to interpret numbers. I find the same with time - I can interpret an analogue clock face much faster than a digital clock.

I'm pretty sure there is some scientific basis for this - human brains process pattern recognition faster than reading.

Assange™: Hey world, I'M STILL HERE, ignore that Snowden guy

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As soon as I heard that he had "Arranged a Press Conference" this morning, my immediate thought was, ha, he wants some more media coverage...

It's a shame, but that's all he means to me now - an attention seeking nobody (allegedly).

Who needs hackers? 'Password1' opens a third of all biz doors

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Re: Policies !

"Why does changing my password make the email address more secure?"

It's not so much for your email, but as a general policy for corporate computer accounts. If someone has cracked your password, there is no easy way of knowing this - so long as the miscreant doesn't do anything obvious like send all your mates dirty pictures by email.

Therefore, changing the password on a regular basis can offer a way to block the use of any compromised account. However, doing it every 90 days means that someone could have up to three months to do nasty things with a compromised account, so a shorter reset period is more secure - although more annoying to users.

In the case of your bank, if someone has cracked your account then it's probably going to be fairly obvious, as transactions will be made that you didn't know about, and therefore a compromised password is easy to spot.

Time to move away from Windows 7 ... whoa, whoa, who said anything about Windows 8?

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I can't help thinking that Gartner missed the whole point of why so many companies stayed with XP.

It was, in a lot of cases, not through a lack of forward planning, but because they chose to.

The same will be true when Windows 7 reaches EOL, maybe even more so, if Microsoft persist in trying to merge desktop and mobile platforms, as companies will not want to ditch a proper Desktop O/S for some Desktop / Mobile hybrid which offers less functionality and is harder to integrate into a business environment.

Fanfare of trumpets as LOHAN reveals mission patch

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I would quite happily pay anything up to one pound 37 1/2 pence for a mug with that on...

Oh, and have a beer on me.

Vulture 2 strapped to speeding van before delicate brain surgery

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In the spirit of everything LOHAN your tree avoidance system surely deserves an acronym?

I would like to propose:

Automated Realtime Magnetic Arboreal Detection and Impact Limitation with Landing Obstacles


Google Maps community competition falls foul of Indian regulations

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Re: Secret?

So.... are you saying there's a secret military base under a field near Heathrow terminal 5?

Sysadmin Day 2014: Quick, there's still time to get the beers in

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Erm, I believe that's supposed to be "tidbit".

Depends which side of the big pond you are. AFAIK in Britain, tit-bits is perfectly valid, perhaps we are less prudish about our language...

Bad back? Show some spine and stop popping paracetamol

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Re: @Lee D

"The reason that paracetamol is prescribed is because it tends not to conflict with other things you're taking."

That's one reason. Another is that's it's fairly benign on the GI system compared to the alternatives.

It is not, however, benign on Liver function, hence the low levels needed to become toxic. An acute dose of 10 grams (that is, taken all at once) will severely impair liver function, and if untreated will kill you. This is why it's the drug of choice for suicides, although most "cry-for-help" takers of paracetamol have no idea it will kill them so soon.

Paracetamol is primarily an antipyretic - that is, it reduces the body's temperature, and therefore works well on the symptoms of bacterial and viral infections. It's efficacy as an analgesic has always been a secondary consideration.

Help yourself to anyone's photos FOR FREE, suggests UK.gov

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I know of someone who found that a picture he had taken of his car, and posted on his own website, was taken and used by Transport For London to illustrate their PDF on examples of vehicles affected by the Low Emission Zone.

He contacted them, asking that they remove the photo from their document, and they seemed most surprised that anyone would object to the photo being used.

When pressed they said they hadn't tried to contact the owner of the photo to ask for permission, as they didn't think they had to.

They did however remove the photograph, and replaced it with one which looked suspiciously like someone else's private photo...

WTF is ... Virtual Customer Premises Equipment?

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Ah, remember the heady days of WinModems?

Takes me back...

Fear a terrifying killer robot revolution? GET A GRIP: Boffins invent cyborg hand for humans

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Go go Gadget fingers!

Facebook in new 'experiment' drama: Will users buy it?

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Well, That's Ebay and Paypal covered, so when's Zuckerberg rolling out his internet search engine?

Incidentally if Google is The Chocolate Factory, shouldn't Facebook be "The Sugar Mountain"??

Sit back down, Julian Assange™, you're not going anywhere just yet

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Re: Cost a government

Except 'the government' is the people. Londoners in particular in this case. That prick has diverted £6M of front line policing away from the streets of the city where they're much needed.

On the upside, they recovered £93,000 of the £140,000 from those who posted bail for him...

Microsoft's anti-bug breakthrough: Wire devs to BRAIN SCANNERS

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It's easy to tell if devs in our office are having trouble with the code - they're the ones shouting ARSEBISCUITS or SHITARSE and banging their heads on the desk...

Chinese biz bloke builds his OWN 3,500-mile Tesla charger network

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Re: Whatever else you might think...

I can't think why you got 2 downvotes for that Graham, maybe someone doesn't like HHGTTG.

BT: Whew, we've been cleared of major privacy breach. Oh SNAP, another webmail blunder

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I love how these big companies always try to make it sound like only a couple of folk have been affected by their outages - BT aren't the only ones, Microsoft and others do it as well - by releasing statements like "A minority of our customers may have suffered some inconvenience" when what they mean is "Thousands of our customers were unable to access our services".

Japanese artist cuffed for disseminating 3D ladyparts files

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Brings a whole new meaning to "Paddle your own canoe".

YES: Scotland declares independence ... from the dot co dot uk empire

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By fuss do you mean "ignore the useless new suffix entirely"?

Ah, you misunderstood. The "We" was not "We the Regtard community", it was "We the local government of Boris".

I quote:

"There is enormous interest in Dot London right across the capital, not just from high-street brands but also the small businesses that are the lifeblood of London’s economy. London leads the world in technology and our businesses are among the most dynamic and innovative anywhere, so it is no surprise so many see Dot London for the great opportunity it is.”

<cough> Bollocks </cough>

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Here in London, it's considered a little parochial to tie yourself to just one godforsaken corner of the earth.

Which is why we made such a fuss over the .london domain...

You 'posted' a 'letter' with Outlook... No, NO, that's the MONITOR

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Re: Indeed: 1st Rule Of Computing...

"Thought shalt turn it off."

Cool, a thought controlled computer.

Can I have one?

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Re: Regarding the terminology problems...

...I do think that as a member of an industry which has things called 'floppy discs' which don't bend and are square, we do really have only ourselves to blame.

I rather think you are showing that you are a relative newcomer to the industry, if you don't know what the origin of the term is, or that removable disks were floppy, at one time...

Read the proposed US ASTEROIDS Act to green-light mining IN SPAAAACE

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I have a counter proposal:

Highly Extravagent Method Of Restricting Resources and Hampering Opportunities In Deep Space


Think Google Glass is creepy? Wait until it READS YOUR MIND

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"We didn't start the project to make money," Kirton said. "For us it's just about standing among giants, being among greatness."

Is he related to Steve Bong?

Say goodbye to the noughties: Yesterday’s hi-fi biz is BUSTED, bro

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Shop Asst: Hello, can I help you Sir?

Customer: Yes, I'd like to buy a gramophone please.

Shop Asst: A WHAT?? (sniggers)

Customer: Erm......a gramophone.

Shop Asst: (sniggers more)

Shop Asst 2: (sniggers as well)

Shop Asst: (sniggers) Right, well, we don't sell gram-o-phones here grandad!

Shop Asst2: (sniggers more)

Customer: Oh, right, well erm, what's that over there then?

Shop Asst: That's a Trio Automatic Capped Direct Drive Turntable unless I'm much mistaken.

Customer: Well what's the difference between that and a gramophone?

Shop Asst: About 30 years and a plastic cover to you chief!


ATTACK of the Windows ZOMBIES on point-of-sale terminals

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IntelCrawler strongly recommends that strengthen passwords used for POS terminals, as well as to monitor suspicious incoming network traffic.

Trouble is, most of these POS are installed in places where there is no established IT infrastructure - hung off the end of a broadband connection in a shop somewhere - so the likelihood of there being any method of monitoring traffic is remote, and the password choice is down to some shop manager or owner.

'iPhone 6' survives FRENZIED STABBING. Truly, it is the JESUS Phone

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*I meant wanking himself into a sweaty lather. Enjoy that lunchtime mental image, everyone.

Yeah, thanks for that.

Somebody pass the brain bleach...

Going up: Fancy a virtual flight to 30km above the PLANET?

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Taken from his Bio:

Aaron's research interests involve experimental and computational plasma physics

Does that make him a Gassy Knoll?

Yes, I'm here all week...

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As of this morning, 166 backers had pledged £2,000 towards the £5,000 target.

So 166 x 2,000 = £332,000

made the target then, or am I reading this wrong??

F1? No, it's Formula E as electric racing cars hit the track

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Donington Park Racing Circuit in Derby.

Umm, nope, it's in Leicestershire...

Ok, it might have a DE postcode, but by no stretch of the imagination could you call it "In Derby"

Top ten car gadgets: Get your motor running with new shiny-shiny

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The Alcosense Lite

Is it me, or does that use the case mouldings for an old Nokia phone! It sure looks like it!

Royal Navy parks 470 double-decker buses on Queen Elizabeth

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No catapult, no use...

Is there no-one in the Navy, the government or the procurement teams who realises that without a catapult, the ship is virtually useless as an aircraft carrier?

Even if your strike aircraft are capable of unassisted takeoff with a useable payload (which is not a given) how about all the ancilliary aircraft normally used in carrier operations?

An aircraft carrier will normally have a complement of AWACS (or AEW) planes to provide eyes over the horizon, these (like for instance the EC2 Hawkeye) need a catapult to get off the deck with sufficient fuel load to be useful.

Then you have Carrier Onboard Delivery. All the mail, spare parts, personnel transfers etc are collected and delivered by aircraft: helicopters don't have the range and payload necessary, so again, you need an aircraft which will require an assisted takeoff to be of any practical use.

So, what actual use is this shiny new carrier? None, that I can see.

Google de-listing of BBC article 'broke UK and Euro public interest laws' - So WHY do it?

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Where on earth has this idea come from that Google have any legal obligation to provide a link to any content on the web?

If they choose to remove their link, that's up to them, and whether they did it to score points or not neither the EU commission nor anybody else can tell them to put it back, and I'm sure they know that.

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