* Posts by Alister

3423 posts • joined 19 May 2010

Dear Britain's mast-fearing Nimbys: Do you want your phone to work or not?

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"They want coverage where nobody lives, while people want coverage where people go," EE's Jones told us. "If you take the limit of 95 per cent geographical coverage you're going to find yourself where nobody has been for years, if ever."

Just remind me, isn't it EE who are supposed to be providing the service for the new Emergency Services comms network?

You know, the one which uses mobile to replace that silly old-fashioned "radio" stuff?

But let's not bother to provide cover in out-of-the way areas, where ooh, I don't know, there might be ramblers or mountain bikers or mountain climbers or drivers or motorcyclists who might need help.

We'll be back to someone running miles to the nearest phone box... Oh wait, they got rid of all those...

Oh, and a final though:

" you're going to find yourself where nobody has been for years, if ever."

I seriously doubt that there is any part of the British Isles which matches that description

Transcript leak: Inside Facebook's secret crisis meeting, where Zuck and Sheryl race to save social network's rep

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This transcript 'leak' must be a joke.. just couldn't be this 'choice'!

This icon may give you a clue... ------->

Put down the cat, coffee, beer pint, martini, whatever you're holding, and make sure you've updated Chrome (unless you enjoy being hacked)

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Re: Get off my lawn with your modern browsers and all that!

tcp/ip? http?

I just use nano-magnets to affect the flow of electrons in a Cat5 cable so that the correct signals are sent over the internet... Simples...

What happens when security devices are insecure? Choose the nuclear option

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What to do if the World is going to end

Thanks DNA


Bartender: You really think the world's gonna end?

Ford: Yes.

Bartender: Shouldn't we lie down? Put paper bags over our heads or something?

Ford: If you like.

Bartender: Would it help?

Ford: Not at all.

Tech security at Equifax was so diabolical, senators want to pass US laws making its incompetence illegal

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Re: licence to act

do they need one?

Good point. Maybe some regulation to require licensing of credit reference agencies would be good... :)

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We don't need more regulation

What we need is for actual real consequences for companies who are shown to be negligent.

Equifax has shown such an appalling lack of basic security that they should be closed down, and have their licence to act as a credit-reference agency revoked.

They hold information which impacts on everybody's lives, and other companies make decisions based on the data Equifax hold which can literally have life-changing consequences.

Silent Merc, holy e-car... Mflllwhmmmp! What is that terrible sound?

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I think every car should be fitted with a siren, why should the emergency services have all the fun?

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Re: Best electric vehicle noise.

Nah, Class 40 whistler

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I think it should be Gary Numan's Cars as played by Bill Bailey on car horns...


Uber won't face criminal charges after its robo-car killed woman crossing street

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From what I read elsewhere, the woman was wheeling her bicycle into the path of the car on a dark night. I don't know if she even had lights on.

What you read elsewhere is incorrect. She didn't wheel the bicycle into the path of the car, she was crossing a three-lane carriageway, and had almost got to the far side before the car hit her.

Contrary to the impression given by the released video, the road was well lit, and she would have been in plain sight of the driver, if the driver had been looking.

A human driver could have avoided the accident by just backing off the throttle when she was in view, giving her time to complete the crossing, the driver wouldn't have even had to move out of their lane to avoid her.

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Re: What? The car can't do emergency braking on it's own?

*then* tells the 'safety driver' 'Hey mate, you need to mash the brakes'

Not even that. From the article:

the car's systems weren't set up to alert the driver of the need for intervention

So the computer identified it needed to brake, logged it, then carried on.

UK Ministry of Justice: Surprise! We tested out biometric tech in prisons and 'visitors' with drugs up their bums ran away

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Re: Is it just me ?

If Benny Hill was in charge he would have swapped the reel-to-reel tapes on the facial recognition computer.

You'll never guess who's giving Google a right shoeing lately. Talking about barring Chrome, Search as defaults... any other nations watching?

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Re: Competition in search?

Just trying to figure out how you know the majority of Windows users consciously choose Google instead of using whatever the working default is.

Because most new Windows machines don't come with Chrome installed, and with their default browsers set to Bing. If, therefore, they are using Google search, then that has to have been a conscious choice on their part.

I was responding to Doug S who said only a few of us technies use DDG, the majority use Google for everything

Also, I would love to see an actual stat on how many people who buy a new car say to themselves: "O.k., diesel or gasoline...hmmm?" I'd then like to see a stat that represented how many people know the pros and cons of such to make a choice. This has me interested now.

Here in the UK, this is definitely a big factor in the choice of car, and I would hazard a guess the same is true in Europe, as our respective governments are trying to clamp down on emissions. For years we were pushed to choose a diesel over a petrol (gas) engine, and they even subsidised the cost of diesel fuel to make that choice more attractive, but then suddenly it's all changed, and they are trying to push diesel cars off the roads now.

Alister Silver badge

Re: Competition in search?

Did you even read the bit you quoted?

and this bit? All Microsoft Windows machines come with the search engine set to Bing;

I said PC Users. Android is different.

Oh and yes, if I were to buy a new car,the first thing I would consider is which type of engine I wanted.

Alister Silver badge

Re: Competition in search?

the majority use Google for everything

Bear in mind though that for the vast majority of PC users, the use of Google search is a choice that they have made.

All Microsoft Windows machines come with the search engine set to Bing; whether the browser is Internet Explorer or Edge, so if a user is using Chrome - or actively changes their search engine to Google - that is a conscious choice they have made.

Obviously, in the case of phones and tablets, any Android device will be set to use Google by default, so there is an argument to be made that Google has little competition in that market.

Alister Silver badge

It's only the default on Edge

And all flavours of Internet Explorer

Canada has lunar dreams as Germany worries about what lies beneath

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@Captain Scarlet

The previous comment was just the perfect opening for you, wasn't it...


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The team then rebooted the robot over 30 times,

I have to say, that was a ballsy move, considering you can't just ring the local support guy to go and kick it if it all goes horribly wrong...


Linux 5.0 is out except it's really 4.21 because Linus 'ran out of fingers and toes' to count on

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the 4.x numbers started getting big enough that I ran out of fingers and toes".

So Linus has 21 digits? Or am I reading that wrong?

Civil servants 'Sir Humphrey' their way through grilling on UK.gov's digital transformation

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Re: Errare humanum est

To err is human

...but to really screw something up, use a computer.

Three-quarters of crucial border IT systems at risk of failure? Bah, it's not like Brexit is *looks at watch* err... next month

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Re: You can't blame the government...


"Car giants Toyota and BMW have both warned a no-deal Brexit threatens the production of their cars in the UK."

"The head of Toyota's European operations said a negative outcome could put future investment at its UK factory near Derby at risk.

Johan van Zyl told the BBC that if the Brexit "hurdles" are too high it would undermine Toyota's competitiveness."

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Re: What possible delay?



"Car giants Toyota and BMW have both warned a no-deal Brexit threatens the production of their cars in the UK."

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Re: What possible delay?

More to the point, I can't see that asking for a delay will achieve anything other than a delayed no deal.

Despite Theresa May shuttling back and forth across the channel, there has been no substantive change to the agreed conditions of exit for the last two months, and I don't see that there ever will be, the EU has stated its case, and that's that.

It is past time for May to admit that she will not be able to re-negotiate the terms, and that we are stuck with what we've got.

USB4: Based on Thunderbolt 3. Two times the data rate, at 40Gbps. One fewer space. Zero confusing versions

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USB Trivalent interface

One of the mysteries of the USB standard, is that the A and B connectors require rotating through 540 degrees before they will successfully connect. This is a triumph of multi-dimensional engineering, but as yet no-one has worked out how it was done...

UK.gov's Verify has 'significantly' missed every target, groans spending watchdog

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Re: Estonia

...and the Elbonians have a world-class system, and are keen to offer outsourcing services

Huawei 'to sue US' over federal kit block – report

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Re: whats this crap?

Your comment is an unfounded anti-western piece of false rhethoric. Does the author live in China

America fuck yeah!


Prodigy dancer and vocalist Keith Flint found dead aged 49

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Re: Yawn.

Never heard of the man, the band or the song.

Your loss.

Vodafone exec dons tartan tam-o'-shanter, clutches bottle of Irn-Bru, in snap shared with firm... just before Glasgow staff told of redundo dates

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Re: Exe.Quantum Communications Control BetaTest/Vodafone ....:-) ‽

It depends on the training data...

'They took away our Cup-a-Soup!' Share your tales of bleak breakout areas with us

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join us by the watercooler:

We can't, they removed all the watercoolers and replaced them with a jug of tap water in the fridge, which never gets filled up.

Danger mouse! Potent rodents 'see' infrared after eyeballs injected with nanoparticles

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A simple injection...

Yeah, just a simple injection... IN THEIR EYEBALLS!!!

Sod that for a game of soldiers

The biggest uptick in demand for software devs by bosses is for... *rubs eyes* blockchain engineers?!?

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Will there be cake?

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Arguably the most overhyped technology in the past ten years,

Yes, I'd argue, not sure blockchain is quite as overhyped as "AI"

Don't mean to alarm you, but Boeing has built an unmanned fighter jet called 'Loyal Wingman'

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Re: So how is this any different?


Really? You've never heard of drop-bears before? purported to be one of Australia's most lethal inhabitants!

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Re: So are we starting a pool?

Much more fun as a weeding party though :)

Wanted: DVLA CTO. Must love cloud, open standards, agile – and retiring outdated kit

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Re: reality check

Do you work in HR at all?

BT 'UK's most powerful Wi-Fi'? Why, fie, for shame! – ads watchdog

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I was just thinking that earlier today when this ad was on the tele, the only way they can be "the most powerful" is if they are exceeding the mandated output power...

Microsoft 'welcomes dialog' over HoloLens use by the military, but doesn't have to listen

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You might as well go for lethalness

Not so smart after all: A techie's tale of toilet noise horror

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Re: "...you'll make your hands pregnant in the afterlife if you touch yourself..."

Yep, Ivor got there first, but I'm not sure he invented it either, I would expect it to be much older than that.

Go, go, Gadgets Boy! 'Influencer' testing 5G for Vodafone finds it to be slower than 4G

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Standing bravely on the precipice of the 5G revolution, with the fierce wind of disruption blowing through his hair,



Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams

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Re: You forgot...

I liked that one!

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Re: rPngg

Homeopathy for gramophone users.

Just add water...

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You forgot...

Coarse Phishing: The same as normal phishing, but with more swear words...

Crash, bang, wallop: What a power-down. But what hit the kill switch?

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Re: Placement of kill switch and other quirks

Yep, I've been in a datacentre hall recently where the door release and the kill switch are next to each other - one coloured Red, the other Green. Guess which one is Green hey?

US man and Brit teen convict indicted over school bomb threat spree

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Seems to be a perfectly clear sentence to me, I don't see what is ambiguous about it?

If we break it up, the main sentence is: "Duke-Cohan is expected to be released from prison in May 2020."

The comment within the sentence is: "Duke-Cohan bizarrely claimed to a forensic psychiatrist that he had a history of harming small animals."

Pandas so useless they just look at delicious kid who fell into enclosure

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delicious kid who fell into enclosure

I think you are misunderstanding. Just as Pandas are picky about selecting a mate, they are picky about their food too.

It /was/ a delicious human, but it was a red one, and they don't like the red ones, only the blue or green ones.

Sigfox cracks open IoT radio protocol specs for world+dog (+badgers?)

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Re: The British love Badgers and Honey

What could go wrong with putting the two together?

Hmm, bit of a sticky situation there, what?

US kids apparently talking like Peppa Pig... How about US lawmakers watching Doctor Who?

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How can you fail to mention: "In the Night Garden"?

I think I was spared that, my kids had grown out of the CBeebies before that was released.

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The squeaking of the creature and associated theme tune is usually enough to kick off an involuntary twitch in a parent’s eyelid

So true, so true.

I wonder if as an adult one can claim PTSD from having to watch children's programmes on a seemingly endless loop...

The Tweenies, Teletubbies and Fimbles should be classed as Weapons of Mass Destruction...

Granddaddy of the DIY repair generation John Haynes has loosened his last nut

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Ah, the Haynes Manual, always so optimistic:

Haynes: Difficult to reach ...

Translation: Assembled at the factory and never meant to be touched.

Haynes: This is a snug fit.

Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: This is a tight fit.

Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with a bigger hammer.

Haynes: Lightly slacken...

Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer.

Haynes: Prise off...

Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...

Haynes: Undo...

Translation: Shear off.

Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...

Translation: That'll teach you not to read right through before you start. Now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.

The UK's Cairncross Review calls for Google, Facebook to be regulated – and life support for journalism

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Re: On the subject of journo's...

I find it very irritating and after spending most of the day gutting, scaling and pin boning three large Salmon,only to find the fish kettle was in the shed being a mortuary for four young mice, I felt I had to vent......

Would it be fair to say...

First-world problems?


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