* Posts by Alister

3335 posts • joined 19 May 2010

Microsoft sees Red ...Hat for OpenShift-on-Azure public cloud offering

Alister Silver badge

Embrace, extend, errr, what was the other one again?


Oh no sorry, that's something else.

Windows Notepad fixed after 33 years: Now it finally handles Unix, Mac OS line endings

Alister Silver badge

Yes, and when you use the standard multi-line edit box, the product is called "wordpad". That's what wordpad is: a wrapper around the standard multi-line edit box.

No it isn't, Wordpad is a wrapper around the RichEdit control, which allows rtf formatting and so on. That's a very different beast to the basic multi-line edit box.

And notepad? The backward-compatible utility for Win3.11 users.

What nonsense, Notepad was present in the Windows 1.0 release, in fact it pre-existed Windows, as it started life as a DOS program with mouse support.

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I've never quite understood why Notepad has this problem with line endings.

To the best of my recollection, the standard multiline edit box in the WinAPI has always dealt with Unix-like line endings correctly, so whatever they did in Notepad can't have used that control.

I'm sure I remember knocking up a rough-and-ready text editor in Visual C++ back in the nineties, using the standard Edit control, in order to edit conf files without destroying their formatting.

HPE makes Nimble nimbler and fatter, its mutants get dedupe

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I remember when Nimble was a type of bread.

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Re: Two shelfs

FYI, the plural of shelf is shelves.

LESTER looks up, spins its wheels: The Register’s beer-butler can see ...

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Re: Removing rust from Opel Monzas?

I'd have thought if you remove all the rust from an Opel Monza, all that you'd be left with is the paint.

TSB's middleware nightmare: Execs grilled on Total Sh*tshow at Bank

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Re: ‘Middleware’

The old magic (physical) engineer tales no longer apply to the world of software.

Things are much more complex.

My aren't we prideful.

Knowing which bit to hit is as relevant today as it's ever been - except you don't use a hammer, you use a keyboard.

Alister Silver badge

The problem, Pester said, is that the middleware systems were unable to deal with the number of customers that wanted to access the banks systems

And he's trying to use this as an excuse? "Please sir, it wasn't me, the computer did it"

Can he not see that determining the expected load and planning for adequate resources to deal with that load are what his job is supposed to be?

It's like he's claiming that suddenly there were twice the number of customers from what they expected.

It's not like setting up a normal publicly accessible website, where planning for expected visitor numbers is always a bit of a gamble.

In this case, there are a finite number of account holders, so working out the expected load should be easy, even if, because of the downtime, more of their customers were trying to log in to see what had happened to their money...


BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

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Re: How to

Turn the BOFH stories into a suitable PDF, add a topical cover picture with the title artfully added via your graphical editor of choice, and send it off to a Print-on-demand shop.

Really!! After reading all the BOFH stories over the years, you really want to risk doing Simon out of his rights as author?

Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

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Build a large edifice on an unstable swamp - and then wonder why one of the twin towers collapses. That asymmetry then becomes a feature.


Quote of the week, right there.

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Re: I have always said...

According to Ted Nelson...

"The good news about computers is that they do exactly what you tell them to do. The bad news is that they do exactly what you tell them to do."

LG's flagship arrives with <checks script> ... G7 what now?

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ThanQ for your review...

This post didn't contain letters.

New York looks at California, drafts net neutrality legislation

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Maybe because Immigration: Huge Mess

US techies: We want to see Pentagon's defence of winner-takes-all cloud contract

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So if this goes through, we can expect lots of dumps of Top Secret data on unsecured Amazon S3 buckets, I suppose.

Open Government... Just not how we meant it.

North will remain North for now, say geo-magnetic boffins

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Re: There is no pole flip.

We would all turn Japanese

You really think so?

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Re: So what happens if...


If it's that sort of day, you'll probably get a parking ticket outside the library as well...

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North will remain North for now

Well that'll save confusion in Korea, anyway, otherwise they'd have had to swap ends at half-time...

NASA dusts off FORTRAN manual, revives 20-year-old data on Ganymede

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Re: Don't understand

Why NASA don't have an archival department

Because money...

Windrush immigration papers scandal is a big fat GDPR fail for UK.gov

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they then didn't bother to do any of the required paperwork

There was NO requirement to do anything, they were Commonwealth citizens. There was no further paperwork to fill out. The landing cards (now destroyed) were all that was required, at the time.

Why don't you go and learn about it, instead of coming out with ill-informed bollocks.

Alister Silver badge

Re: So those Windrush landing cards needed to be held for maybe 120-150 years.


Or, possibly, digitise / ze.

No need to invent new words.

Noise from blast of gas destroys Digiplex data depot disk drives

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Re: It's a gas, man

I once saw the aftermath of dropping a full "F" size Medical Oxygen cylinder (4 foot tall and 8 inch diameter).

The valve neck snapped, and it departed through the side of an ambulance, went through two brick walls, and disappeared into the woods at the side of the ambulance station. We never did find it...

Avengers: Infinity War: More Marvel-ous moolah for comic film-erverse, probably

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Re: Must be my age

And of course Purdy.

Pah, modern new-fangled rubbish, that was the New Avengers.

What about Cathy Gale (Honor Blackman)?

Good news: AI could solve the pension crisis – by triggering a nuclear apocalypse by 2040

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Re: I wish they would stop promising us nuclear armageddon.

I wish they'd just get on with it, or I'm going to have to replenish all my stock of tinned foods.

Sod Armageddon - the Best Before Date is approaching!

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Re: "Id like to see their definition of AI"

Dear Reg: You could pioneer some common sense in the name of scientific accuracy. How about linking every instance of the term "AI" to a couple of paras explaining why it is actually nothing of the kind? You do a good enough service setting the record straight on "private" browsing in today's articles, after all.


I often disagree with your point of view on matters, but on this occasion, I can only endorse what you've said, and offer you this -------------->

Cosmic prang probe: Euro space boffins to smash sats, virtually

Alister Silver badge

Re: Serious question.

I think your no.2 is too simplistic, objects can have variances in velocity sufficient to cause collisions but still be in the same orbit.

Otherwise, how could one spacecraft approach and dock with another spacecraft in the same orbit?

Alister Silver badge

Re: What really happens when accidents occur in orbit?

Only if they happen on the orbital motorway?

Alister Silver badge

Your user name doesn't really reflect reality, does it?

Go back and read TFA, these will be simulated collisions.

UK's Department of Fun seeks data strategy head – experience not needed

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"Knowledge and experience of digital and data policy and/or the tech sector is desirable but not essential,"

Is this not just the standard PC bollocks nowadays, that if you put that "relevant knowledge is required" then it's seen as being exclusionary or discriminatory?

DON'T PANIC! America's net neutrality won't be ending today after all

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Why is Batman hitting Robin?

UK.gov demands urgent answers as TSB IT meltdown continues

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[Nicky Morgan] said the reports of unauthorised transactions, access to other customers' accounts, and failures of in-branch services "have all the hallmarks of an IT meltdown".

Is "IT meltdown" an officially designated term now? How is it quantified?

US sanctions on Turkey for Russia purchases could ground Brit F-35s

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Re: There really...

I can't think of any aircraft with as bad a flight safety record

Lockheed Starfighter?

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Re: There really...

@Skippy Bing

'the safety record of a Corvair '

I suspect we are talking the Chevrolet Corvair which was identified by Ralph Nader as highly unsafe.

'It's got all the reliability of an NSU RO80'

Again, not an aircraft, and the rotary engine was renowned for the seals at the tips of the rotor failing.

'as popular with pilots as a clapped out Austin Ambassador'

...none where they complain about the window popping out when you jack it up and the steering wheel being square.

I'm sure it's only a matter of time.

There is no perceived IT generation gap: Young people really are thick

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Re: Yo Dabbsy

Buses stop at a bus station

Trains stop at a train station.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to my work station

Has work stopped??


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Re: Yo Dabbsy

in which case I'd go to the whaleweigh station.

There aren't enough downvotes in the world to cover that one...

Alister Silver badge

You miss the point, Ken.

IME Younger people don't bother to even try and remember stuff.

Some of our younger staff here (who allegedly have a degree in computer science) have to be told, and told and told the most basic stuff, time and time again.

Alister Silver badge

Re: Education is no longer designed to teach.

Of course not. That was all done and dusted at O-level.

Hahahahahahaaaaaaa... Oh sorry, did I just type that out loud?

Alister Silver badge

Re: Education is no longer designed to teach.

Hitch Hikers Guide started on the wireless damnit!

Wot, you mean it was a podcast?!

Alister Silver badge

Thanks to the Internet, I have the opportunity to be better informed about a wider range of subjects than has ever been possible hitherto. And so does everyone else, if they're prepared to take it. Is that a bad thing?

No, it's obviously not a bad thing, and I too am better informed about all sorts of subjects as a result of the internet.

But, I do believe that it discourages the individual retention of knowledge, because of its immediacy.

Alister Silver badge

Re: Not Dutch

Just a FYI, it's an American story.

I see you've been reading Wikipedia.

The story predates any American publication by many years, and its origin is obscure.

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I'm in danger of revealing my grumpy-old-man status here, or even getting into a full blown rant, but it seems to me that the mental retention of literary allusions, cultural references etc is something older people do.

It is my perception that younger people, who have grown up with the ubiquitous use of computers and smartphones, and particularly the advent of Google and Wikipedia, make no effort to retain such things, as they can just go and look them up when needed, and then forget them again until next time.

Alister Silver badge

Education is no longer designed to teach.

I recently made the mistake of helping my daughter with her "A" level biology homework - which given I used to work in the medical profession I thought should be a doddle.

She had to describe in 'detail' the movement of blood through the circulatory system, so I started with the blood leaving the left ventricle through the semilunar valve into the aorta, and how it travels through arteries to the capillary beds and then back through the veins, through the inferior and superior vena cava, to the right atrium. (simplified)

She was sitting looking puzzled, so I asked what was wrong. She said "Oh, we don't need to know all that"

I was gobsmacked. How can you possibly learn human biology if you don't even need to know the names of the bits you are supposed to be talking about?

I've noticed this before though, that students seem to be actively discouraged from taking a wider interest in any aspect of a subject outside the strict focus of the coursework.

Pavilion Data Systems hands more engineers their marching orders

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The decision to separate from these employees was driven by a combination of performance management and alignment to ongoing objectives and investments.

We've decided to concentrate on software sales...

Amazon, LG Electronics turned my vape into an exploding bomb, says burned bloke in lawsuit

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Re: Health Hazard?


do you want to ban open fires and diesel cars as well? They are much more hazardous to your health than secondary tobacco smoke.

Sysadmin unplugged wrong server, ran away, hoped nobody noticed

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Re: its like the leads at the back of my desk at work.

According to Sir PTerry, it's due to malignancy - the local hostility of things towards non-things.

LESTER gets ready to trundle: The Register's beer-bot has a name

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Any volunteers?

build a prototype able to follow a PFY around

For the post of LESTER TESTER?

Tech bribes: What's the WORST one you've ever been offered?

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socks in a lunchbox

That's just crying out to be a euphemism...

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Re: Probably...

Why the thumbs down?

You forget, Americans read this. Mentioning a blow job is akin to setting fire to the Bible.

BOFH: We know where the bodies are buried

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large enough to consume our company whole whilst leaving room for dessert, a cheese board and several after-dinner cognacs.

Oh Simon, fancy forgetting the wafer-thin mints...

SpaceX finally Falcon flings NASA's TESS into orbit

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Re: What duck?

Yep :)

BT pushes ahead with plans to switch off telephone network

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I see people are highlighting 999 calls, fear not, by the time this is done there won't be any police etc.. left due to cuts.

More immediately, the 999 services are going to be moving from TETRA radios to 4G on EE, so even if you could call the emergency services without a mobile signal, the controllers won't be able to talk to the fire engines or ambulances...

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