* Posts by chivo243

6085 publicly visible posts • joined 10 May 2010

Upstart Americans brandish alligators at the almighty Reg Standards Soviet

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I heard ~9 meters is how far the virus can travel...

Or 27 feet... That's a big alligator!!

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Thumb Up

The article talks about Florida! You don't need any effin pet shop for an alligator in Florida!

Microsoft prevents Domain of Danger from falling into miscreants' paws by forking out cash for corp.com

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Happy

Re: Is Contoso next?

Fabrikam! Damn! one I forgot!

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Windows

Is Contoso next?

We still laugh about Contoso when reminiscing about 2003 training ;-}

Still waiting for your Atari retro gaming console? You're not alone: Its architect has just sued the biz for 'non-payment'

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Unhappy

These retro gizmos

They all sound great in the vaporware stage, and strive to fail from there... sad for the devs that get sucked in.

Apple creates face shield for health workers, resists the temptation to call it the 'iMask'

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iGag

I know, not os funny...

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iMask was taken

https://www.cultofmac.com/690631/apple-mask-pro-concept-counters-coronavirus-concerns-with-laughs/

Glad to see Apple really doing something for the cause!

We're number two! Microsoft's Edge browser slips past Firefox in latest set of NetMarketShare figures

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Windows

Funny thing is...

I tried ChromEdge and didn't find it all that appealing. I do like Brave, Chrome with out the Googliness.

Virtually – no – actually borked: We'd slap ailing ATM's 'OK' button but it's probably against government guidance

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Trollface

during this process... cash denied!

Love it! another reason to keep cash handy, oh, wait, you were trying??? sorry 'bout that.

Real-time tragedy: Dumb deletion leaves librarian red-faced and fails to nix teenage kicks on the school network

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Happy

Ghost is the name

put the floppy in, restart, password.... 30 minutes back to normal.

Where's the best place to add Mentos to Diet Coke for the most foam? How big are the individual bubbles? Has science gone too far?

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Re: Been wondering...

Your 12 year old g-d has more scientific knowledge than most adults, good for her! I consider myself one of most adults too!

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Boffin

Cool waste of time

Cool that they got to see new places, but aren't there lots of variables that were ignored? Moisture content of the mentos in different altitudes and temperatures. Did they buy all of the soda and mentos at the same time, same batches? And as mentioned above, why that specific temperature at different altitudes?

I know enough about scientific process to ask dumb questions...

BOFH: Will the last one out switch off the printer?

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Trollface

I'd have gone for Risk!!

Monopoly into the Boss' domestic situation will probably result in a homicide. How many times can you roll those freaking dice before they get stuck somewhere?

Windows spotted flashing its unmentionables in a Chicago clothier

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Coffee/keyboard

tumbled through the turbulence

Ah, yes, not so much tumbling after that first initial bump, but free falling, once you've leveled out, the view of Lake Michigan is nice, provided you're on the correct side of the plane!

Escape Key, it's the closest to a barfbag...

Absolutely everyone loves video conferencing these days. Some perhaps a bit too much

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Unhappy

Re: Paris...

No, my luggage was conveniently lost before being re-routed to CDG. This was many, many years ago, and I'm still haunted by my experience there. I get a weird feeling just driving by the place...

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Facepalm

Re: During my time in front line IT support I've seen things

I have a huge collection of mind bleaches... some flavored like Gin, Single Malt Scotch, Vodka.

My best advice: "You might want to close that other tab before going to the meeting..."

Rethinking VPN: Tailscale startup packages Wireguard with network security

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aren't all IP numbers known?? So, IF, I was on the Wireguard network, with a client, I could pick IP addresses randomly and find a connected PC?

It's late, I must be missing something...

Boeing 787s must be turned off and on every 51 days to prevent 'misleading data' being shown to pilots

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Coat

Re: Windows Server 2000

Neither saw even close to 51 days of uptime... the "press ctl alt del twice" joke made sure of that!

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Re: Windows Server 2000

Bad habit passed down from NT4? We had a print server, Zeus, that needed a kick to get the print spooler working, can't verify the days in between. Nobody can print? Time to reboot Zeus...

How many days of carefree wiping do you have left before life starts to look genuinely apocalyptic? Let's find out

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No mention of Elaine?

Can't... spare.... a... square...

https://youtu.be/Ssoyy7FrSXs?t=40

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Re: think out of the box?

Yes! It's only what, 3 or 4 squares?

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Thumb Up

think out of the box?

Each time you use "the facilities" at work, take an extra portion of paper for home in your pocket. Your home reserves will suffer less.

Zoom's end-to-end encryption isn't actually end-to-end at all. Good thing the PM isn't using it for Cabinet calls. Oh, for f...

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Facepalm

F A C E P A L M

This one ranks up there! The knock yourself unconscious kind! As an IT guy I totally get why... It's hard to tell someone above you they are wrong and a) keep your job b) be taken seriously.

I wonder how many other collaboration apps should be called hoover?

Cloudflare is over the moon because its pro-privacy 1.1.1.1 DNS service got a clean bill of health from everyone's favorite auditor – KPMG

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Coat

Re: Why?

IMTech?

My coat with a breached contract in the pocket...

Pandemic impact: Two-thirds of polled Reg readers say it's business as usual in the IT dept, one in ten panicking

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Meh

Just about everybody is working

remotely, that is... I see about 8 people actually working in the building, me included.

Hunting for IT staff? Lost your job during the pandemic? Sysadmin vacancies – and a free job ads offer – inside

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can't travel

can't help out. Soz...

Lost in translation and adrift in cloud storage

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Coffee/keyboard

Apparently, "beheerder" means "administrator".

After many years in NL, this one brought a chuckle... ja hoor!

Drones intone 'you must stay home,' eliciting moans from those in the zone: Flying gizmos corral Brits amid coronavirus lockdown

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Coat

Stormy Weather?

Can these buggers fly during the climate change induced(?) harsh weather? Pray for rain and high winds?

My foil hat must be in one of these pockets.

Infosys fires employee who Facebooked 'let's hold hands and share coronavirus'

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Boffin

Once again, Social Networks and Work don't mix!

Just don't do it! Don't join social networks. Don't post crap if you must have one. I saw this kind of issue coming long before FB was a rage, now a mainstream part of a lot of people's lives. Join a more profession driven platform, if you must.

A appreciate the freedoms El Reg forums provide us all.

The one internet rule I've tried to live by is: Would you like grandma to see this?? Another reason I like El Reg forums, she will know the words, and have no idea what we're talking about!

icon for gran!

Yeah, that Zoom app you're trusting with work chatter? It lives with 'vampires feeding on the blood of human data'

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Re: Hmm

We've been resisting users request for Zoom, as we use GAfE and Google Meet. I forwarded this article to our Data Protection Officer and App Integration Specialist plus my team and I got a fast response from one member of the team with Zoom's response:

"We sincerely apologize for this oversight, and remain firmly committed to the protection of our users' data," Zoom said in its statement.

https://appleinsider.com/articles/20/03/27/zoom-ios-update-removes-feature-that-sent-user-data-to-facebook

So, one hole plugged in iOS, how many others are they still exploiting?

Exchange some currency you want to? Guess the BIOS setup keyboard combination first you must, young Padawan

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Coat

Assumptions

about the ass... the assess face could have been squarely planted on the keyboard too, nose pointing to the delete key perhaps, or F10? or F11 or F1?

Microsoft staff giggle beneath the weight of a 52,000-person Reply-All email storm

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Trollface

Exchange is featureless?

Our old mailserver from 6 years ago would prevent this... Keep using Exchange, it's good for a laugh!

Announcing the official Reg-approved measure of social distancing: The Osman

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Headmaster

Re: On the other hand

Or a focal length?

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Thumb Up

Love it!

Can't wait to use an Osman unit!

That awful moment when what you thought was a number 1 turned out to be a number 2

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Facepalm

PD?

I guess professional development wasn't a thing back then...

2020 MacBook Air teardown shows in graphic detail how butterfly keyboards were snipped for scissor switch

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smarter?

I rarely use the built in keyboard, unless forced to use it. I like older Apple bluetooth aluminum keyboards, they have the right travel, and response to input.

What happens when the maintainer of a JS library downloaded 26m times a week goes to prison for killing someone with a motorbike? Core-js just found out

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Terminator

New meaning UTB

He's only under the bus "for 18 months" !! I'll be back!

closest icon to terminator

Where's our software, Langowski? Windows Insider Program gets new leader

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Windows

My proposal

Since the team is split, some working remotely, I proposed we hold the morning Meets meeting in our Dude robes!

Crack police squad seeks help to flush out Australian toilet paper thieves

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Old outdoors saying

take it like a man, wipe it with your hand...

Analyst calls it: This is the 'biggest fall ever in the history of the worldwide smartphone market'

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Apple cart upset?

First Apple limits the amount of phones one can buy at a time, then flops back? Someone forgot to count the phones in Tim's garage?

TeamViewer is going to turn around and ignore what you're doing with its freebie licence to help new remote workers

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Is it a dry cough? are you tired?

Tech won't save you from lockdown disaster: How to manage family and free time while working from home

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3x the Load!

The missus was already working from home 4 days a week, now the boy is home from school, I'm working from home until this blows over. I wonder who will be the last one standing?

All roads lead to Bork in Kansas as Windows puts on a show for motorists

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Coat

No Wayward son, or Dust in the Wind bad pun?

Whud ya have to pick on Glen Campbell for? I mean, c'mon, Kansas!!

Captain Caveman rides to the rescue, solves a prickly PowerPoint problem with a magical solution

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the other clippy

I once used a paper clip to remove a stuck floppy. I was Mr. Wizard for a day...

HPE celebrated diversity on International Women's Day not with pictures of its own staff but stock images of models

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Marketing booboo

Totally a thing, Joe Marketeer forgot to update something somewhere...

Pervasive digital surveillance of citizens deployed in COVID-19 fight, with rules that send genie back to bottle

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Unhappy

heard at the water cooler

The governments weren't getting enough traction out of "National Security"... Now they need even more powers under "Health and Safety". I saw a headline regarding the sweeping powers governments can assume during a medical\health emergency. I didn't read the story, couldn't find my foil hat. Is this how the end begins?

It's Baaaaaack (or is it?): Microsoft Teams suffers a Tuesday totter

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Windows

Up and Down across the board

But the Store being shot down?? Is it that bandwidth thirsty? Or did they need the rack for Teams??

Two years late, but upgrade wave finally washes a billion folk onto Windows 10 as its Android phone waits in the wings

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Windows

Over a Billion served?

That number is inflated. I did it. You don't want to know how many Win10VMs I've installed and blown up. New feature in a new update/upgrade, borked something that was working, New VMs for all my friends at the bar... It's faster to deploy from template than rollback snapshots

Browser minnow Brave nips at Google with GDPR complaint

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Coat

Re: Google: Do No Evil

you forgot the lowest form of life... law talkin' peeps. I doubt they understand either, but just use the buzz words like teenagers trying to fit in...

Google reveals the wheels almost literally fell off one of its cloudy server racks

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Coat

I used to wonder

What is the weight of your data? I guess we know it's HEAVY!