* Posts by chivo243

2562 posts • joined 10 May 2010

HP starts slinging Apple hardware, tech support vending machines

chivo243
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Meh

Announcement from only HP (E) Ink?

Not surprising really, lots of places sell some Apple products. Did Apple throw a party? No? Probably not a big deal for Apple?

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BOFH: Turn your server rack hotspot to a server rack notspot

chivo243
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Trollface

Re: new keyboard alert !

" Led Zeppelin-inspired incident"

does that involve choking on your own vomit in the backseat of your car? Or so it would appear?

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If this laptop is so portable, where's the keyboard, huh? HUH?

chivo243
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Happy

Re: Brilliant!!

Luggable or Haulable - I remember the portable my mom brought home once. It came in 3 or 4 flight cases, took up the entire kitchen table. That was yestercentury or yestermillennium ~ mid 70's or so...

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chivo243
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Re: classic!

turn it over 710 - OIL !!

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chivo243
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Paris Hilton

classic!

"ohhhh …. There's a keyboard in there…".

At least she didn't go completely of the deep end and complain about "you should have told me sooner..."

I'll be she has no clue what to do with 710 cap on the engine either?

Paris, because the article was written for the icon

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HomePod, you say? Sex sex sex, that's all you think about

chivo243
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Hey Pinky!

Another one in 100 will see their hands swell up like balloons...

Hairy tongue would need a tongue razor? A quick google doesn't show any current product, business opportunity?

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Home fibre in the UK sucks so much it doesn't even rank in Euro study

chivo243
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: False advertising!

@StephenTompsett

...followed by half a mile of damp string isn't a Fibre connection!

Too funny! Too true too!

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Aching bad: 'Kingpin Granny' nicked in huge prescription drugs bust

chivo243
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opioid epidemic

Here is evidence that the big pharmas are making way too may pills, and money...

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Three in hospital after NSA cops open fire on campus ram-raid SUV

chivo243
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really?

"Despite bullet holes clearly visible in the SUV's windscreen, the Feds said none of today's injuries were due to gunfire as far as the bureau knew."

I can't decide if the officers on duty need training(target practice) or the exercised restraint(excellent marksmanship)?

Idiots are damn lucky to be alive in either case...

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Stop calling, stop calling... ICO goes gaga after home improvement biz ignores warnings

chivo243
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Re: Hang on a minute...

@msknight

Must be a profitable business?

Fines, taxes, levies, tariffs, duties etc All just the cost of doing business my friend, the cost of doing business. Just like <insert big internet platform here> They can afford it.

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From tomorrow, Google Chrome will block crud ads. Here's how it'll work

chivo243
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Re: Dynamic stalemates seem to be a thing now ...

@JimmyPage

"After all, most searches are horribly inefficient and getting worse."

It is, isn't it? I just thought I lost my googlefu

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chivo243
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Devil

too late for me...

I've been using ad blockers for sometime, what a pleasant place the intertubes can be without annoying ads. I recently went a step further when the browser cryptomining rage hit and installed a Pi-hole at home. I have no need for a browser based blocker with the Pi-Hole at home...

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Rogue IT admin goes off the rails, shuts down Canadian train switches

chivo243
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Thumb Up

Re: First prize

yes, just to name a few:

Canadian railway employee had - a rocky relationship

Dying network named CPR

and finally the IT/Locomotive double entendre - Management blew its stack

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Hyperoptic's overkill 10Gbps fibre trial 'more than a clever PR stunt'

chivo243
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Meh

difficult to find a PC that will be cable of doing over 100Mbps.

What year is this? Or has the gigibit network not been invented yet?

r. van winkle

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Still not on Windows 10? Fine, sighs Microsoft, here are its antivirus tools for Windows 7, 8.1

chivo243
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Re: Is that weird or what?

@AC

+1 What are the odds?

The only Windows in use at home are for testing to keep the bacon on the table.

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No sh*t, Sherlock! Bloke suspected of swallowing drug stash keeps colon schtum for 22 DAYS

chivo243
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Go

Easy

No food for 3 weeks, just throw a bag of Ronald McDonalds fare in his cell. Add a large Coca Cola, he'll come clean...

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BOFH: We want you to know you have our full support

chivo243
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Devil

The BOFH knew

that the software the PFY was seeking information on was *crap*. The next scene will be the BOFH, PFY and an HR ogre discussing the altercation... Cue PFY on mental health/stress leave...

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MY GOD, IT'S FULL OF CARS: SpaceX parks a Tesla in orbit (just don't mention the barge)

chivo243
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Trollface

Full = 1?

Time to get snarky here... One car fills space?

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chivo243
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Re: You all Astronauts on some kind of Star Trek?

@Kit-Fox

+1 beat me to it.

That was my thought yesterday when I heard he was putting an auto into space. Nothing original here...

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Women beat men to jobs due to guys' bad social skills. Whoa – you mad, fellas? Maybe these eggheads have a point...

chivo243
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This is why

all vendors now have a woman handling the "reaching out" Nearly all of the front line reps I've dealt with lately have been women. Guess who I get to talk to when they don't have the technical answer needed?

I signed up for Starwinds vSAN, and got a message from a woman. I signed up with Veeam, got a message from a woman. I updated our HPE profile, got a nice message from a woman. Now I wonder if there any women behind these messages at all? Or are they just bots?

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Dori-no! PepsiCo boss says biz is planning to sell lady crisps

chivo243
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Headmaster

Isn't this just

Pringles? With Doritos flavor? Prior Art?

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South Wales cops crow about facial recognition arrests on social media

chivo243
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Facepalm

Re: What about...

or Nicolas Cage or John Travolta?

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chivo243
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Big Brother

What about...

Daftpunk or The Residents head gear to block this intrusion of privacy? Even a Stormtrooper helmet would be nice ;-}

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Long haul flights on a one-aisle plane? Airbus thinks you’re up for it

chivo243
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FAIL

It's the little things that add up

Taxi to the airport - $ pay extra for your luggage - $ pay extra for a seat - $ Stand in security line for 1.5 hours pay for a meal for the family in the secured section of the airport - $$ buy a few snacks for the flight as the food on the plane - $$$

I recently paid $75 for lunch - 3 hamburgers and drinks at ORD.

Every trip I say I won't get worked up about the prices, we're on vacation and trying to enjoy ourselves, it rarely works out that way ;-{

In our next chapter, we discuss the ever decreasing size of the seats and the leg room illusion.

Until then keep it cramped eh?

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‘I crashed a rack full of servers with my butt’

chivo243
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Happy

I can relate

I've also brought down a full rack. A colleague and I were having trouble getting a network card on an older UPS communicating with the outside world. We used an incorrect serial cable to connect to the UPS. Now when a new UPS comes, the serial cable is tagged and paired with its owner.

The room gets extremely quiet when one rack goes dark! We still laugh about that day.

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A tiny Ohio village turned itself into a $3m speed-cam trap. Now it has to pay back the fines

chivo243
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Chicago got caught too

But they only had to pay back "half" of the fines collected. That' how run a scam: Issue tickets, get money, goes into the bank, earns interest, then only pay back half of the fine. Cha Ching!

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/local/politics/ct-rahm-emanuel-red-light-tickets-lawsuit-settlement-met-20170720-story.html

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Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

chivo243
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Chicago Style Deep Dish Copy

I can say with authority, that this is a rip off of a Chicago Style Deep Dish Pizza. Having made 1000's during my university days...

I would eat it, but would throw another pizza skin on the top and make it a Stuffed Pizza ;-}

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Shopper f-bombed PC shop staff, so they mocked her with too-polite tech tutorial

chivo243
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Happy

Wait!

She broke the cup holder? I would be angry too!

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Should ISPs pay to block pirate websites? Supreme Court to decide

chivo243
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@Volands right hand

there is no way in hell to put the wiggly ones back into the can.

And no spoon big enough to eat them all ;-}

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I'll torpedo Tor weirdos, US AG storms: Feds have 'already infiltrated' darknet drug souks

chivo243
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Holmes

Legal Pushers

The Pusher - he's been around for ages...

You know I've smoked a lot of grass

O' Lord, I've popped a lot of pills

But I never touched nothin'

That my spirit could kill

You know, I've seen a lot of people walkin' 'round

With tombstones in their eyes

But the pusher don't care

Ah, if you live or if you die

God damn, The Pusher

God damn, I say The Pusher

I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man

You know the dealer, the dealer is a man

With the love grass in his hand

Oh but the pusher is a monster

Good God, he's not a natural man

The dealer for a nickel

Lord, will sell you lots of sweet dreams

Ah, but the pusher ruin your body

Lord, he'll leave your, he'll leave your mind to scream

God damn, The Pusher

God damn, God damn the Pusher

I said God damn, God, God damn The Pusher man

Well, now if I were the president of this land

You know, I'd declare total war on The Pusher man

I'd cut him if he stands, and I'd shoot him if he'd run

Yes I'd kill him with my Bible and my razor and my gun

God damn The Pusher

Gad damn The Pusher

I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man

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Scammers become the scammed: Ransomware payments diverted with Tor proxy trickery

chivo243
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Old saying

No honor among thieves!! None! ;-}

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NASA finds satellite, realises it has lost the software and kit that talk to it

chivo243
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Re: Need help, NASA?

I have a Commodore Pet that was rescued from a near skip incident. How deep are NASA's pockets?

I could use the extra money!

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Equinix CEO bails after ‘poor judgment in employee matter’

chivo243
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Holmes

In this day and age

It is probably related to harassment of a sort. I get the feeling, from the wording, (after exercising poor judgment with respect to an employee matter.) he didn't take someone's accusation against a third person seriously.

Just a shot in the dark?

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Perv raided college girls' online accounts for nude snaps – by cracking their security questions

chivo243
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Happy

@Stuart Halliday

I would tend to think it was a bit of both. First the thrill of the hacking, and then the thrill of whacking or jacking... depending where you're from. Happy endings for all you hackers!

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Ever wondered why tech products fail so frequently? No, me neither

chivo243
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I have a solution!

Stop buying so much cruft! Sure your breakdown percentage will remain the same, but frequency will decline ;-}

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If you've ever wondered whether the FCC boss is a Big Cable stooge – well, wonder no more

chivo243
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Stacking the house of Cards

I can't wait for the wind to change directions and see the house that Idiot Pie built fall to the ground.

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User stepped on mouse, complained pedal wasn’t making PC go faster

chivo243
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Boffin

Hey Gran!

It's not a sewing machine!

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Microsoft whips out tool so you can measure Windows 10's data-slurping creepiness

chivo243
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Windows

Just turn it off at Installation

I stopped as much as possible when first configuring windows. The only reason I installed W10 was to be able to support it. I rarely use it for anything other than training purposes. So MS is getting a whole lotta nada from my W10 usage...

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Aut-doh!-pilot: Driver jams 65mph Tesla Model S under fire truck, walks away from crash

chivo243
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7 Ups!

Reminds me of the scene in the 7 Ups when Roy Schieder crashes under the semi

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJPSiUj_Abo

cool chase!

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29 MEEELLION iPhone Xs flogged... only to be end-of-life'd by summer?

chivo243
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Headmaster

Wow, just wow

Gee, this party had to end sometime... and this one's cover price was just a bit to high for most working stiffs

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Why did I buy a gadget I know I'll never use?

chivo243
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Happy

been bought, borrowed or stolen in the first place

Raises finger, guilty as charged... and yes, I have those bins and boxes under my desk too!

I guess we all need a bigger place for out stuff?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLoge6QzcGY

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User had no webcam or mic, complained vid conference didn’t work

chivo243
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Facepalm

Your Network is broken!

Long ago, we had a consultant come, he sat down at a PC logged in with a guest account, inserted his floppy with his presentations etc... He stormed into our office complaining that out network is broken and really sucked. Dumb looks all around! He said his floppy wasn't being read correctly, that our PC wouldn't open his files. But it worked at home! I returned to the PC with the consultant in tow. There were dozens of dialog boxes searching for the files, remember win 98 and the little flashlight? I closed all of them, and went into the 3.5" drive and saw a dozen icons for files. All 1kb! He couldn't understand that he created shortcuts to the files on his computer and that it wouldn't work on our computer...

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Baywatch hero drone saves silly struggling swimmers Down Under from going down under

chivo243
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Paris Hilton

Walks like a duck?

@AC

I thought the same thing when I watched the vid yesterday elsewhere... But then read that they were to demo it later in the day? I wonder if this was just part of the demo? A little advance publicity?

Quack!

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Butt plugs, mock cocks, late pay and paranoia: The world of Waymo star Anthony Levandowski… by his kids' nanny

chivo243
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Paris Hilton

Re: I always thought a ball gag

@TrumpSlurp the Troll

+1 is not enough!

Baby's got back is an understatement!

Cue Sir Mix a Lot!

Paris is a close as icons here at El Reg get to KK

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chivo243
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Where is the Mom\Mrs?

Didn't catch that in the article?

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Who's using 2FA? Sweet FA. Less than 10% of Gmail users enable two-factor authentication

chivo243
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Childcatcher

right or left

2fA is not that hard. I use SMS and also have 10 count them 10 codes on paper (kept secure) I can use with there is no cell\mobile coverage. But, I would imagine, the 10% who do, actually might have something in their account to secure. Good on them ;-}

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UK's Just Eat faces probe after woman tweets chat-up texts from 'delivery guy'

chivo243
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Facepalm

I feel sorry for the Customer Advisor

Trixie, if that's her real name, is only following a script written by some midlevel monkey. She probably got a demerit for upping the refund as well.

And to be fair, as this is an out of the ordinary issue, the customer advisors probably didn't have training or a script to cover this eventually.

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Hawaiian fake nukes alert caused by fat-fingered fumble of garbage GUI

chivo243
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Holmes

Re: Why the FCC is involved?

This looks to be a matter that should be handled well above Pai's head.

Aren't most matters over his head?

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BOFH: Buttock And Departmental Defence ... As A Service

chivo243
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Paris Hilton

Re: And nobody checked

And nobody checked

Everyone present _assumed_ he had two buttocks, but nobody checked.

And nobody checked

Everyone present _assumed_ he had two buttocks, butt nobody checked.

better?

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chivo243
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Thumb Up

PA Named Rita!

We had one long ago, she retired, but if you needed to know anything about anybody anytime... Ask Rita!

She is missed ;-}

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