* Posts by Sir Runcible Spoon

4203 posts • joined 29 May 2007

UK.gov: You can't have our drone test results because... er, security

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Not just drones

"Might make it hard to land the planes though."

Did you miss the additional qualifier of keeping out of controlled airspace?

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Joke

Re: Not just drones

"It certainly wasn't a honey badger."

A honey badger wouldn't have needed the batteries.

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BOFH: Oh go on. Strap me to your Hell Desk, PFY

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: True to tradition

He should have cut the BOFH in on the deal - basic Mafia protection tactics :)

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Reminder: Spies, cops don't need to crack WhatsApp. They'll just hack your smartphone

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Black Helicopters

@AC

"As it is now, the terrorists are winning, because they have managed to manipulate politicians into turning europe into a silk dictature."

Not deep enough I'm afraid. The terrorists are being used just as much as we are.

They are the lever, we are the fulcrum.

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Slapping crap bosses just got cheaper: Blighty's Supreme Court nixes tribunal fees

Sir Runcible Spoon
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I sometimes wonder if the Judicial system is the only thing stopping this country from becoming a complete cess-pit. They have their critics (justifiably so in many cases) but they are the only ones really capable of standing up for the people any more in any real sense.

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Take that, gender pay gap! Atos to offshore hundreds of BBC roles

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Mushroom

"Imagine now you're a woman on your own or elderly and you see some jackass outside your house doing that?"

I could also imagine reporting someone behaving suspiciously and in possession of a chair leg.

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Amazing new algorithm makes fusion power slightly less incredibly inefficient

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Trollface

Re: Here are some free ideas

"Might have a go tonight when I get home. How hard can it be?"

I was thinking that maybe they could set up some mirrors and direct all that light to some solar cells to reclaim some of the energy that way too :)

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Kid found a way to travel for free in Budapest. He filed a bug report. And was promptly arrested

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Cat Video

Wow, what did that guy do do earn that kind of love? oo-er :P

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Alien

Re: Reminds me of...

There appears to be a species of human, often to be found in positions of authority, that have the same thought processes as the renowned Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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It seems pretty fitting these days (at least in the UK).

95% of the 'young adults' I meet these days are pretty child-like in their emotional range. It's almost like they've been wrapped in cotton wool all their lives and not taken any risks (therefore not suffered any failures from which to learn).

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Facepalm

" our Ritalin affected reduced attention spans cant wait that long before being distracted by the next event... oh look a Cat Video...."

I know that's a flippant remark and this is El Reg etc. but you do know that speed actually *improves* the attention of adhd sufferers?

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Briton admits to router hack that DDoSed Deutsche Telekom

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Unhappy

"so basically anyone sufficiently motivated can bring CNI down."

I would definitely sleep better if this weren't true.

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User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Joke

Re: A university education is wasted...

"how to take his trousers off without removing his desert boots first..."

I read that as 'dessert' and immediately wondered if that was because the trousers were to the left of the boots :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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" He ruefully admitted that everyone they had employed from those interviews had proved incompetent in the role."

I'm always happy to point out that the time I could have wasted getting a degree I was actually spending learning how to do things in the real-world.

A degree is a piece of paper that says you have the ability to learn (at least it used to) - there are other ways to prove that.

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US Homeland Sec boss has snazzy new laptop bomb scanning tech – but admits he doesn't know what it's called

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Coat

"I would not underestimate a modern Major General"

In that case there will only be 1 oxygen mask for every four people on the plane :P

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Built in Timer

If the laptop is powered on in the hold and set to connect to a wi-fi hotpot (such as one on your phone that you turn on mid-flight) how is that detectable?

I'm assuming that the range would be sufficient etc.

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The lady (or man) vanishes: The thorny issue of GDPR coding

Sir Runcible Spoon
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@AC

If you think having information scattered across multiple systems in multiple vendors is inherently more secure than having a single large store-house where you can focus all your defences and mitigation then you are sorely mistaken.

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Remember that Citadel bank-slurping malware? Its main man was just jailed for five years

Sir Runcible Spoon
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WTF?

Sir

So, when do people get to take the makers of guns to court for someone using their products to rob or kill?

If an armed robber takes down a bank, does the bank get to sue the manufacturer of the gun, the ammo or the balaclava stealth-wear?

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G20 calls for 'lawful and non-arbitrary access to available information' to fight terror

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Flame

Cognitive Dissonance in a pure form

"You must ensure that these dark places can be illuminated by the law so that the freedoms you hold dear will not be stripped away by criminals"

Instead *we* (the government) want to be the ones to do it. Ignorant bastards.

It won't be long before they bring back a Phorm of SSL interception and signature re-write so you can't see it happening.

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'My dream job at Oracle left me homeless!' – A techie's relocation horror tale

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Facepalm

Re: my relocation bundle

I answered whilst you were correcting your 'non-metropolitan' bit so thought you were talking about a major city :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Freelance job security

"and if that job had a chance to be more permanent, would have taken it."

Should have stayed contracting, best decision I ever made. I've had more job security since going freelance than I ever did as a permie, since it's all an illusion anyway. At least being freelance you know what the risks are and can mitigate them (which you typically do with a high day rate and only pay yourself a reasonable salary/dividend - that way your company always has money in it to pay you if you are between contracts).

You also know to have 6 months living costs in the bank, just in case.

All that extra money from being a contractor shouldn't really be used to fuel a rock-star lifestyle (unless you want it to end like one too) - it should be used to purchase safety nets.

The upshot of contracting is that you typically end up working on new projects (fixed budget/timelines) and often get to play with new toys and keep your skills up for free, which in turn makes you more employable which provides you with a solid reputation upon which to raise your rates.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: my relocation bundle

"nobody at the local council offices or the bank spoke a word of English"

I wouldn't be too certain of that :)

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Two-factor FAIL: Chap gets pwned after 'AT&T falls for hacker tricks'

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Trollface

This guy is lying

"because I'm a software developer and we always blame the software."

Bullshit, they always blame the network.

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Just in time for summer boozing: Boffins smash world record for the most perfect ice cubes

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: most perfect

I suppose you could say 'closest to perfect', it's a gray area I think.

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LHC finds a new and very charming particle: the Xicc++ baryon

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Careful, Sir Runcible

"If they know you can count they'll have you chalking up all night."

That was how I got away with being in the pub on my own from about 14 :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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When does it all go wrong?

Is there an energy level for these types of collisions where the Standard Model predicts something drastic happens?

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Thumb Up

A pub with a whiteboard - OMG!!! What a fantastic idea :D

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May the excessive force be with you: Chap cuffed after Star Trek v Star Wars row turns bloody

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: No contest

Any B7 fans out there need to watch the spoof: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWuTeR7xCU4

Orac saying 'are we there yet' in a plaintive voice gets me every time :) Very much like the time he was interrupted and said 'but what about the game?' even though imminent danger was looming :)

Some of the best (and possibly worst) lines ever written were in B7.

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Good luck building a VR PC: Ethereum miners are buying all the GPUs

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Other problems for VR

It used to be that every device in the path added 10ms as well, but that's more like 2ms these days.

I think you'll find that with optimised code it is possible for people to share the same space and be represented by simplistic avatars with a reasonable response time. Obviously a high latency link would suffer, but that's no different than any other online experience with many people.

PSVR seems to do it ok, shouldn't be any different for PC.

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Google blows $800k on bots to flood the UK with 30,000 'articles' a month

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: €706,000 ($800,000)

"Always seemed odd to me when people talk about owning their home, when the bank owns it until you've paid them 20+ years of interest."

Well, if you make a profit when you come to sell you get to keep that money (after paying the outstanding debt off of course) - so you do 'own' it in that sense. You also get to say what happens in/on the property - the bank doesn't.

But I know what you mean :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: €706,000 ($800,000)

Yeah, I do remember that - still have no idea where the money *actually* went. Directorships probably.

I'm talking about giving it to people who can *spend* it, or even pay off their debts so that they are paying less interest and therefore have more money left over to spend every month*.

*You know you're an alien when you don't have any debt (apart from the mortgage, which is a bastard to be honest).

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: €706,000 ($800,000)

"£3.51

At least it will be, the way we're heading"

That would require a very strong pound, so strong in fact we could afford to print enough money to devalue the pound and give everyone £500k as a freebie

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Fast-spreading CopyCat Android malware nicks pennies via pop-up ads

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Paris Hilton

I feel retarded

Can someone explain how these scumbags actually receive $money$ for this - surely that leaves some kind of trail that can be followed. After all, if you want your Ad rewards paid in Bitcoins it's going to look a mite suspicious. Who pays and how?

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BOFH: That's right. Turn it off. Turn it on

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Pint

Re: Thus is the great dilemma of IT support born

"And I apologize to all the limey gits"

Apology accepted, now find a decent pub that imports proper beer and have one -->

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Pint

Re: Thus is the great dilemma of IT support born

"just in case they've changed the system without telling us?"

Hmm, sounds like the definition of insanity to me mate

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: “Because they're idiots, and the worst is yet to come.” Indeed it is, says I/US.

But you just know that they'll nuke the site from orbit the moment they feel they've actually lost.

No-one wins the race to the bottom.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Terminator

Re: "it doesn't work"

I think you'll find this is a case of the machines knowing when a bofh-alon is around to kick the bejeezus out of their diodes if they play up. Happens to my wife all the time - she *hates* asking me for help on the computer because the moment I turn up it suddenly works again :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Coat

"I want a proper upgrade!"

I read that as 'a propeller upgrade' and thought to myself 'that'll never take off!'

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FREE wildcard HTTPS certs from Let's Encrypt for every Reg reader*

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: An admirable effort.

" the time between now and the heat-death[1] of the universe[2] isn't enough to crack *that* cypher."

Only if you try to brute force it :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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FAIL

Re: An admirable effort.

"Sorry, but that is amanfrommars crazy talk."

You just haven't cracked the cypher yet.

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While USA is distracted by its President's antics, China is busy breaking another fusion record

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Trollface

Re: Flat Earth

I could give credence to this line of argument if it were based upon the thought model of the universe being the 'skin' of an ever expanding balloon.

So really that argument would be that the Earth were flat if the commonly perceived 3 dimensions were, in fact, only two :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Facepalm

Re: Crazy ideas?

"The Greeks knew the world was around 2,000 years ago AND could prove it with math and physics."

Of course they did, they were living on it after all. :P

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MH370 researchers refine their prediction of the place nobody looked

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Paris Hilton

Re: What can be learned of the crash at this late stage?

Why aren't locator beacons released from the tail section when a violent* impact is detected?

*i.e. > any possible turbulence could produce

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One-third of Brit IT projects on track to fail

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Why is there a PRINCE2?

@AC, You're right of course, but there is nothing to stop me asking someone else how *they* would do it and so come up with a viable list of tasks & dependencies - a PM should be capable of this at the very least. Unfortunately in my experience the vast majority see that as some kind of threat, so they don't ask, and then they fail. Ah well.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Good

Note entirely true :) Whilst I have spent a fair amount of time fixing other people's cock-ups I now get to create them :D

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Why is there a PRINCE2?

I don't have PRINCE2 training, but I have had a lot of success with IT projects and working out project plans etc.

The key is to simply imagine doing the task you are documenting and writing down all the factors that go into it. Once you have that, think of all the things that you need to be able to complete all those tasks.

Rinse & Repeat until you have something that looks like a plan. *Then* start putting in how long each task will take and who will *actually* do it - factor in 20% overhead for meetings - if it goes beyond that at any time during the project then cancel *all* meetings for 1 week before resuming normal service.

Keeping it sensible and cutting out the BS makes for very efficient projects in my experience. ymmv :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Mushroom

Project Manager (the software)

This is the cause of a lot of time & resource issues.

Almost every single PM I've seen use this tool ends up with a fairly accurate estimation of the amount of effort (in terms of man-days) to complete each area of the project. What they totally fail to factor in is *elapsed* time - especially if you have one resource responsible for a number of parallel tasks etc.

And don't get me started on dependencies - I recently tried pointing out crucial missing dependencies from the plan that was being developed but the info was constantly ignored . Why? Because it pushed the timelines out too much!! Seriously, these people should just paint their noses brown and at least be honest about their priorities.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Thumb Up

Re: PMs - mostly bad

@TonyJ - it seems we went to the same school on handing dingbats :)

The problem is that I don't see very many people who graduated from that particular school of thought - most people are too afraid to lose their job. As the saying goes - "it's the proud nail that gets the hammer".

I try and stick out, but not to indulge in pride - everything I say and do *has* to be backed up by evidence & logic if challenged - otherwise I probably *would* lose my job :)

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Male escort says he gave up IT to do something more meaningful

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Facepalm

Re: Techbro

Did you miss the bit where he gets paid to fuck about?

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Happy

Re: He should have become an IT consultant...

Oy! I resemble that remark :P

Also, if he ran IT Businesses and failed to have a positive impact on anyone's life then he probably wasn't cut out for IT in the first place.

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