* Posts by Sir Runcible Spoon

4417 posts • joined 29 May 2007

DXC squeezes suppliers for extra margin, issues ultimatum

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Black Helicopters

Re: Not surprising

Please tell me you didn't post that from a company machine/network?

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: How NOT to Win Friends and Influence People

we're cutting rates by 10% and/or changing your contract terms effective immediately. Agree by 5 PM or pack your stuff and go

Whilst no-one is indispensable, there are definitely people who make a difference to the bottom line of the company. Applying this kind of approach across the board is very dangerous as it creates a trigger point.

A trigger point for a contractor is pretty much the same as a renewal situation - you are either happy with the terms or you bugger off somewhere else. If you have in-demand skills then something like that is likely to raise warning flags about future behavior.

A company did try that with me once, 10% pay cut for all contractors etc. I used the opportunity to negotiate a 10% rise in my day rate :)

Another time a company decided to amend all the notice periods for all contracts. As this was just before Christmas it came as a bit of a shock to see a contract termination notice in my inbox. Needless to say they were surprised when they presented the updated contract and I told them they had the rate wrong :) That one resulted in a 12.5% increase.

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DXC Technologies mails another corp message (GULP)

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Snake Oil

"After the change, despite taking more responsibility for no extra salary, I was dropped back into the middle tier pot "

That's because you'd already set the expectation quite high. You can't exceed expectations if they are always expecting more. It's just a con (as you are obviously well aware).

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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you *may* be eligible to receive *up* *to* five per cent of your base salary

Even if by some miracle you do qualify, you'll probably be made redundant before you receive it.

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The developers vs enterprise architects showdown: You shall know us by our trail of diagrams

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Awesome article

All company systems/guidelines/policies, whatever, first and foremost have to *serve* the business.

I've seen many large companies struggle to keep their agility because they become so reliant on their policies and procedures that they are followed to the letter. People inherit these guidelines who might not really understand them (and how to change them for the better if the company or circumstances change) and the result is a 'computer says no' type of mentality that cripples the business.

It should be simple. If the process is no longer serving the business, then it is the process that needs to be updated (rather than forcing the business to follow the process).

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Tick, tock motherf... erm, we mean, don't panic over GDPR

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: What about malicious hypervisors?

I'm not an expert in this area, but rootkits etc. might be able to fool the system (and thus the monitoring) on the system it has infected, but it still leaves traces. It talks to C&C devices, processor usage doesn't always match process usage of CPU (although that could be fudged as well I suppose if they're really clever).

One of you security layers needs to be able to analyse traffic from all the hosts on the network and spot anomalies*.

Each layer you can add makes the type of malware capable of bypassing *all* of them pretty rare. Never rely on one layer to tell you what's going on. Security is like Ogres :)

*This can also be fudged by well written malware of course.

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BOFH: We're only here because they said there would be biscuits

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: This...!

Apparently you've got to really mean it (who knew!?).

Watch out for back-fires.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: video conferencing

Using VOIP: the modern equivalent of crackling paper next to the mic and whispering 'what was that, the line's really bad!' whilst omitting the odd consonant along the way.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Boffin

Re: More spying?

I used to tape over the webcam, then I moved on to disable the drivers.

Now I just drill a hole in the fucker.

->> Goggles, safety first kids.

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Boffin wins (Ig) Nobel prize asking if cats can be liquid

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Cats are neither a solid nor a liquid. @Aladdin Sane

Nearly sounding like an end-user there! Let's do this properly. Submit an RFC as a non-standard change for CAB consideration, raise SRs as required on the back of that. Wait for six weeks. Send an email wondering where the change went. Wait three more weeks. Give up

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAArrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....thump.

You pretty much just described my day. I come to El Reg to take my mind *off* work you sod :P

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Coat

Re: Babypod

"Cue: "What's that whistling?"

Naked lady* skydiver?

*or whatever the fuck women are called in this new trans-gender neutered sterile cess-pit we now live in.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Alert

Re: Cats are neither a solid nor a liquid. @Aladdin Sane

"Obligatory request for Pterry icon."

Seconded, again.

Since you mention it, I think it is high time we started a campaign. Haven't had one in ages!

Rather than overtaxing the El Reg staffers though, perhaps we could propose some kind of 'unsung genius' icon that could also apply to Douglas Adams?

There are several icons that are hardly ever used - just re-purpose those - how hard can it be?

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Paris Hilton

Re: Internal Loudspeakers

Why do so many wear low cut tops that reveal their cleavage then? Can't have it both ways you know.

Loads of women get really pissed off when my wife stares at their tits, apparently they only want the menfolk to look.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Babypod

What's that muffled noise? Oh, just some c*nt in my c*nt.

<splutter> you owe me more than a keyboard mate, I've got a hernia now.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Cats are neither a solid nor a liquid.

Can you drink a cat? No therefore it is solid.

Only because they don't want to be drunk. Ever tried to introduce a cat to a toilet bowl? They magically turning into spinning clawed starfish!

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AMD Ryzen beats Intel Core i7 as a heater (that's also a server)

Sir Runcible Spoon
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I probably did see it at one point, won't know until I go watch a couple more clips - I almost never know who people are in films at the time unless they are already well-known. I'm a lazy bastard on things like that.

I also have no idea what most of the music I listen to is called either :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Didn't understand.

Through it's wireless port..

https://xkcd.com/1889/

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: I've thought of this often

One place I worked had an AC unit over the racks to cool things down, but they had it turned up too much. One weekend it just iced up, broke down and melted over the racks :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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"Pool on the roof eh,? I've heard that one before."

Holy shit, was that Angelina Jolie?...It was!

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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It only had two floors and they weren't even raised so we couldn't use that one :(

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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I once visited a DC in Turkey that pumped all the excess heat through the swimming pool on the roof :)

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UK Data Protection Bill lands: Oh dear, security researchers – where's your exemption?

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Why not just import the fucking descriptions of the terms from the GDPR as well?

(I bet I'm missing something ;) )

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Facebook posts put Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli in prison as a danger to society

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Lovely, lovely man

"He'd probably think the winged rod was something else anyway ."

That might have been a tangential comment, but just in case: I was referring to the character in Futurama, not the ancient alien who introduced alchemy to the world :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Joke

Re: Who will..

Julian Assange? He has the range.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Coat

I read that as 'bell-end curve' for some reason

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: I only wish...

It would be ironic for him to get septicemia and suddenly find he couldn't afford the medication to treat it.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Joke

Re: Lovely, lovely man

Not even Hermes could limbo dance under the bar this guy sets.

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Intelligence director pulls national security BS on spying question

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Laws

I wasn't arguing for one over the other, I don't see why we can't have both.

A written set of laws that cover as many bases as possible (as intended) - plus a section that gives an idea of what the law is, and is not, intended to cover in the general sense.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Mushroom

Laws

All laws should have an executive summary that contains information pertaining to the spirit of the law that is being put on the books.

Doing this would allow judges to ascertain whether the law was used for it's intended purpose or has been subverted through the use of vague terms or weasel words.

Subverting the spirit of a law should also be a crime.

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Windows 10 Creators Update will add app-level privacy controls

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Games Operating System

I see what you're saying, but I can't really hook up an HTC Vive to it can I?

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Games Operating System

Since we are still in the age of most games being made for Windows, I would very much like to see a stripped down OS that is just for playing games on.

In fact, this whole Win10 data slurping 'you don't own your stuff' shit has totally put me off buying a decent gaming rig for VR, so I'll stick with PSVR for now and do my browsing from something more secure.

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US government sued by 11 pissed-off travellers over computer searches

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Hang on a moment

You need to remember to make your sarcasm further from the gormless zeal of those you parody.

Whilst I agree, I simply don't see how that approach can be kept up due to the ever increasing rate of increase of zeal in the gormless.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: these exploits are worthless

I'd like to know where they keep the up to date list of PC approved (and non-approved) words.

I suppose most of us find out just by using the words and having the SJW's of the world come down like a ton of bricks to ruin our otherwise productive lives.

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Homeland Security drops the hammer on Kaspersky Lab with preemptive ban

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: mal where

"Mal - bad in the Latin"

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Joke

Re: Yup, it's payback

Or

Kaspersky Lab has never helped, nor will help, any government in the world with its cyberespionage or offensive cyber efforts

the NSA was considering asking them to help infiltrate Russian assets and this stance upset them.

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Another reason to hate Excel: its Macros can help pivot attacks

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Waddyamean 'Another reason to hate'?

@2+2=5

I hear what you're saying, but there are lots of other tasks where there are hidden delays that are difficult to reflect in a plan - that was just an example.

Another one is change requests. It might take 2 hours to write a request, but then it has to be peer reviewed and possibly amended, then submitted. Then it goes through the change approval process etc. which can be anything from x to x*5 depending on the number of changes in the system. If there lots of changes that need to be raised as part of the plan, you end up multiplying the number of tasks etc. massively.

What I'd like to see is a way to have tasks that require effort being represented differently from tasks that require time (eg two weeks time to perform 1 hours of effort). Otherwise the change team will look like they are spending two weeks on a single change, when in reality they are working on 50 other changes at the same time (for different projects etc.).

Awkward I know, but there must be a better way to reflect this kind of difference.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Waddyamean 'Another reason to hate'?

I don't know if Project can actually do this, but if it is I've never seen a PM use it yet.

There must be a way to track time elapsed, as well as effort.

For example, ordering equipment. Raising a PO and placing the order etc. = x hours. Lead time for getting the kit on site = x weeks.

If you put 'x weeks' alongside that task someone will ask you why it takes that long to order kit. If you put 'x hours' then they'll harass you every 10 minutes as to why the kit hasn't arrived yet when that task is complete.

Try and separate those kind of tasks out for the whole project and it turns into a monster. There should be a way to have a task that has 'x hours' of effort, but has 'x weeks' of duration.

Anyone know?

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Waddyamean 'Another reason to hate'?

I won't hear a word said against Visio, it's equally at home making floor plans for my house as it is creating complex network diagrams that no-one will ever understand.

However, I think we can all get behind the pitchfork that needs to be wielded at MS Project. (I realise that there is a lower form of life in the MS stable, but I'm loathe to even mention it).

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Boffins fear we might be running out of ideas

Sir Runcible Spoon
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"Oddly enough, there were people saying that at the end of the 19th Century."

Are you saying they were wrong? Most of the stuff we have today was envisaged in the 19th Century (give or take a decade)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: basic everyday "magic" was sorted by the end of the 20th C

"Not to say that the very clever should quit trying of course"

Don't forget that the vast majority of people who use technology haven't the faintest idea of how it works or is made.

Lightbulbs = Magic.

The people who really understand this stuff are vanishingly small compared to the overall population count.

Just imagine going back in time 500 years, then try and list all the things you actually understand well enough that you could introduce to that time period. As far as I'm concerned I'd be better off with ideas than actual technology (since a lot of tech requires other tech to make it possible) - and in the past those kind of ideas got you a ringside seat at a bonfire made for one.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Joke

Re: Semiconductors are getting hard to fill

Babel fish are worth a punt. If everyone understood each other it would improve not only research but a lot of other aspects of commerce. Now, where do we start?

1. Design a little fish shaped Bluetooth earpiece with an audio pickup beyond your own voice

2. Connect it to your phone*

3. Have phone* listen and interpret incoming audio

4. Send translated audio to earpiece.

Et Voila, la BabelFish is born.

*or more likely a dedicated device that's the size of a small PC, but bound to get smaller when they make smaller chips....oh

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Because

""Why should the people who don't go to university fund those who do..""

To me the answer is obvious, but then I'm not a crab.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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"Across a broad range of case studies ... we find that ideas – and in particular the exponential growth they imply – are getting harder and harder to find"

I know, how about learning to make better use of the ideas we've already had?

Ask any of today's games programmers how they would go about writing a chess program that would fit into 1k of memory.

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Astroboffins map 845 galaxies in glorious 3D, maybe dark matter too

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Sir

I wouldn't mind that, as long as I could move my point of origin freely :)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Sir

How long before they upload this as a VR program so I can sit inside a humongous map of the Universe?

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Crackas With Attitude troll gets five years in prison for harassment

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: The mosty frightening thing in the whole article...

"revenve"

Revenge or revenue?

This is like the one the other day - dedious (devious or tedious?)

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Lord Sugar phubbed in peers' debate on 'digital understanding'

Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Logic?

Don't forget that the start and stop bit weren't necessarily counted by applications measuring the bandwidth (so 10 bits transferred for every 8 counted).

So practical limit is most definitely <56kbps (and that's not even counting whether or not the application measured kbps as 1000bps or 1024bps)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Boring jobs?

"the cost of the service goes up, less profits etc etc."

Less profits, yes. It doesn't necessarily follow that the cost of the service goes up (to the consumer).

In these days where we pay the same for 'things' that we used to, yet the 'things' are substantially 'less' then I can only think that it's all about squeezing the last iota of money for the least amount of product.

Take Mr Kipling's Apple Pies for instance. My wife bought some last week and discovered a thin slice of apple sauce and two tiny chunks of apple in between all the pastry - they didn't used to be that stingy with the filling, yet they still cost £1.60

Also, shops/producers still make profits from items that are marked down to half price - what does that tell you about their 'normal' price.

I know we're talking about the service industry and wages etc. - but in this day and age it should be possible to have 'work from home' call staff plugged in to the system and keep costs low. Imagine all those people who struggle to find suitable part time work being able to log in and handle calls for a company whilst being at home, convenience is worth more than a few extra quid to some people (especially when the convenience is the difference between earning a few quid extra or not at all)

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Re: Logic?

"yet no one got the fabled: 56Kb/s**"

Not sure that's entirely accurate. I pretty certain that it was possible to get 56kbps to the ISP, but remember that those were the days that big businesses had 1Mbps leased lines for _all_ their internet connectivity.

You can only connect as fast as the slowest part of the pipe between you and your destination.

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Sir Runcible Spoon
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Logical Leaps

I do a pretty good line in 'logical leaps' for a living, and can feel fairly confident in saying that whilst these leaps can look magical at the outset, they are usually fairly easy to retro-respectively analyse for logic once more information is known.

This isn't one of those leaps.

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