* Posts by Locky

460 posts • joined 7 Apr 2010

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College student with 'visions of writing super-cool scripts' almost wipes out faculty's entire system

Locky Silver badge
Mushroom

Don't forget to test all use cases

Automation fubars are all too fun.

Back in the early days of Powershell I had the bright idea that any user moved to a "Staff Leavers" OU to have their our of office set to a "I have now left the company" script, which I created and was tested, or so I thought.

All was going well, until a day when there were no users in the folder, and I found a feature of Powershell 1.1 where if no results were found all mailboxes were selected, setting every out of office from the MD down.

Oh how we laughed in the forthcoming meetings....

Open-source 64-ish-bit serial number gen snafu sparks TLS security cert revoke runaround

Locky Silver badge

Re: Really

If something has a 1 in a billion chance of going wrong, it will do so 9 times out of 10.

So we need to even the odds up a bit. How about you generate it blindfolded, standing on one leg and with one arm tide behind your back.

Then the odds are about 1 in a billiion....

Carphone Warehouse fined £29m for mis-selling mobile insurance to punters who didn't need it

Locky Silver badge
Pint

Re: PC world

I like this response more than I probably should. Have one of these ->

Unless you want your wine bar to look like a brothel, purple curtains are a no-no apparently

Locky Silver badge

Re: Good on him for standing up

Purple used to be the most difficult, and therefore the most expensive, colour to dye cloth. So it was reserved for royalty.

Here endeth the history lesson

TalkTalk kept my email account active for 8 years after I left – now it's spamming my mates

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Holmes

TalkTalk in account management fubar

Colour me shocked

Silent Merc, holy e-car... Mflllwhmmmp! What is that terrible sound?

Locky Silver badge

Re: Problem already solved

Spokey dokeys

Three-quarters of crucial border IT systems at risk of failure? Bah, it's not like Brexit is *looks at watch* err... next month

Locky Silver badge

Re: Cheer up, what's the worst that could happen?

Yeah, but apart from that, what has Brexit ever done for us?

I say, that sucks! Crooks are harnessing hoovers to clean out parking meters in Chelsea

Locky Silver badge

Re: And the next scam will be...

Ah, but you'll know it's a scam if it takes less than 15 minutes to register your card, car reg and first born to some Sirius Cybernetics robot...

Locky Silver badge

Parking meters are taken to the cleaners

Insane homeowners association tries to fine resident for dick-shaped outline car left in snow

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Wait until they find out what she did on the roof

Watchdog asks UK.gov to reissue freedom of information guidance after councils are told to STFU about Brexit plans

Locky Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Why worry?

I'm starting to doubt Project Fear exists. It's delivering far too much and suffering too little delay to be a real government project.

Until I see the headlines around it costing 3 times its estimate and being taken over by Capita I'm calling shenanigans

Bored bloke takes control of British Army 'psyops' unit's Twitter

Locky Silver badge

Re: No Shit, Sherlock ..... It's the Gift that keeps on Giving*

wary of Internetworking Universal Virtual Vulture Forces

FTFY

Locky Silver badge

PsyOps taken over

Judge Anderson will not be pleased

What's in a name? Quite a bit when it's the most hated abbreviation of 2018 (GDPR, of course)

Locky Silver badge

Happend to me

I worked for a INDeX PBX support company back in the 90's with a short snappy URL for their website.

Then the Digital Versatile Disc became a thing, and our website was getting hits from all over the place. As I recall the directors sold the company for a tidy fee, probably for the domain name

Twilight of the sundials: Archaic timepiece dying out and millennials are to blame, reckons boffin

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Innovative sundials?

There's a phrase I didn't think I'd be reading today

Australian prime minister blames 'state level' baddies for Oz parliament breach

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Strewth

Throw another DDOS on the barbie mate

Well Holby damned! We've caught a virus: Brit medical soap operas team up for 'cyber' episode

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Considering half the NHS is still on XP, I wonder what the odds are that there's still some Haylon in an old comms room, just waiting for an accidental nudge of the "Do not press" button

Roses are red, we've received about fifty. Google's next trick? Pixels for the thrifty

Locky Silver badge

And Windows

Roses are red

Violets are blue

Your phone has crashed

We deleted Sys32

No fax given: Blighty's health service bods told to ban snail mail, too

Locky Silver badge

2FA

Secure web-based mail with a SMS access code to access would work for 95% of the communications, not difficult to implement or particularly groundbreaking

The challenge is how to keep the 5% who can't or won't fit the model

US kids apparently talking like Peppa Pig... How about US lawmakers watching Doctor Who?

Locky Silver badge
Flame

As seen at a Yorkshire fate

Kids! Come meet Peppa Pig at 11am

From 1 - A hog roast

Patch this run(DM)c Docker flaw or you be illin'... Tricky containers can root host boxes. It's like that – and that's the way it is

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Sorry, I'm a bit slow today. I've just had 6 weeks off celebrating Christmas in the Hollies with Mary Mary

After Amazon's Bezos exposes Pecker, National Enquirer pushes back, promises to probe itself

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Re: AWS pull the plug?

You're not thinking logically enough.

Wait until they hit the publish button, then bring the whole account down 1ms later and sue for publishing indecent images, against their T's & C's

Hold horror stories: Chief, we've got a f*cking idiot on line 1. Oh, you heard all that

Locky Silver badge
Holmes

Re: Careful of what you write

Of course, you could just request all the information that the company holds on you under the Data Protection Act, that often shows up some very interesting results

Pants-purveyor in plea for popularity: It's not just any pork push... it's an M&S 'love sausage'

Locky Silver badge

Re: missed opportunity

That's quite un oeuf of this yoke, thank you very much

WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed

Locky Silver badge

The next BOFH will feature this

and will include a PFY rampage, with props involving a roll of carpet, quick lime and a cattle prod

Terribly Sorry Bank reports 165% drop in profits to a pre-tax loss of £105.4m

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I know I'm old, but I'm pretty sure she was the girl from Trainspotting...

iPhone price cuts are coming, teases Apple CEO. *Bring-bring* Hello, Apple UK? It's El Reg. You free to chat?

Locky Silver badge

The reasons for the iPhone sales slump were threefold

I've re-read your 3 reasons a number of times, and there must be a typo because I just can't see "a lack of innovation leading to Apple flogging the same product for an inflated price" as one of the options

I must be holding it wrong

Remember Woolworths? Well there's a different* one that still exists in Oz. Telstra wants NBN Co to help shove fibre in it

Locky Silver badge
Coat

They won't do it in all of the stores

They are going to pick n mix

Sorry, pass the one with the jelly babies in the pocket please

UK.gov plans £2,500 fines for kids flying toy drones within 3 MILES of airports

Locky Silver badge

Re: First they came for my nano drone.....

THOSE are still legal in York, in case you see some of those pesky Scottish blokes

Get in the bin: Let's Encrypt gives admins until February 13 to switch off TLS-SNI-01

Locky Silver badge

Valentines will be nice

Roses are red

Violets are blue

The website is down

Should have used TLS 1.2

Dear humans, We thought it was time we looked through YOUR source code. We found a mystery ancestor. Signed, the computers

Locky Silver badge

Re: Mystery Ancestor

Is there anything to be said for another mass?

Apple hardware priced so high that no one wants to buy it? It's 1983 all over again

Locky Silver badge
Childcatcher

56k?

Was it purchased by US Robotics?

Kids today, don't know their born etc

Holy crappuccino. There's a latte trouble brewing... Bio-boffins reckon 60%+ of coffee species may be doomed

Locky Silver badge

Re: All right for some

Nescafe /= coffee

Error, out of cheese, redo from start

Friday fun fact: If Stegosauruses had space telescopes, they wouldn't have seen any rings around Saturn

Locky Silver badge

Re: Oops

I was more curious at how it would hold them to it's head.

Now if they had used a telescope on a tripod....

Slack to fend off the collaboration competition with... a new logo

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Thumb Up

It's been a while

I've missed Logowatch

Oh snap: AWS has only gone and brought out its own Backup

Locky Silver badge

All fine and dandy

Until you need to move cloud providers. AWS will offer you all your data back, but I bet it's going to cost you

Cops told: No, you can't have a warrant to force a big bunch of people to unlock their phones by fingerprint, face scans

Locky Silver badge
Joke

Re: So..

As I understand it you're fine, as long as you didn't shoot the deputy

This must be some kind of mistake. IT managers axed, CEO and others' wallets lightened in patient hack aftermath

Locky Silver badge

Re: Seems legit

@Waseem Alkurdi

I refer my learned colleague to the self preservation of the Executive Committee

It's raining, then? Hallelujah. Big Blue super 'puter sharpens forecasts

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Coat

Useful

But I'll stick to my more reliable method thanks

Amazon Mime: We train (badly) an AI love bot using divorce bombshell Bezos' alleged sexts to his new girlfriend

Locky Silver badge

New Skill Enabled

Alexia, file for divorce

Dozens of .gov HTTPS certs expire, webpages offline, FBI on ice, IT security slows... Yup, it's day 20 of Trump's govt shutdown

Locky Silver badge

Re: Oh God

Shhhh, don't tell them

You were told to clean up our systems, not delete 8,000 crucial files

Locky Silver badge

W95 had a Recycle Bin, definitely in the 320MB era

More nodding dogs green-light terrible UK.gov pr0n age verification plans

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Childcatcher

Re: Just like buying a magazine.

I didn't come her for sensible arguments. Be gone with you....

Happy new year, readers. Yes, we have threaded comments, an image-lite mode, and more...

Locky Silver badge
WTF?

But like Oliver Twist to the Master....

We want more

Where are our new icons?

Google-whisperers beat reCaptcha voice challenge with 90% success rate

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Terminator

Deply Deckard

It's 2019 and machines can convince security that they are people

The question is do they know?

An AI system has just created the most realistic looking photos ever

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Terminator

Pay attention

The 600 series had rubber skin. We spotted them easy. But these are new, they look human. Sweat, bad breath, everything. Very hard to spot.

Ticketmaster tells customer it's not at fault for site's Magecart malware pwnage

Locky Silver badge

I've always wondered what you got for that compulsory booking fee.

Now I know

Lenovo tells Asia-Pacific staff: Work lappy with your unencrypted data on it has been nicked

Locky Silver badge
Childcatcher

Lappy?

Is this the contempt that we deserve? Does the will of the people mean nothing?

https://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/03/14/lappy_poll/

I demand a referendum

Peak tech! Bacon vending machine signals apex of human invention

Locky Silver badge

Re: Which is better?

What we need now is a Lester-style investigation of what is the be bacon.

El Reg, you know what to do

Tumblr resorts to AI in attempt to scrub itself clean from filth

Locky Silver badge

Re: Nipples ye say?

Witchfinder Shadwell? Calm yourself with a glass of condensed milk

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