* Posts by Locky

295 posts • joined 7 Apr 2010

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UK hospital meltdown after ransomware worm uses NSA vuln to raid IT

Locky
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Who would have thought that NHS systems would have been vunerable to a ransomware attack?

How's that XP migration project going by the way?

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Try not to scream: Ads are coming to Amazon's Alexa – and VR goggles

Locky
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Alexa

Send an email to faceless Ad man saying he can shove this advert up his .....

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Uber is a taxi company, not internet, European Court of Justice advised

Locky
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But

Are Jaffa Cakes biscuits?

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Agile consultant behind UK's disastrous Common Platform Programme steps down

Locky
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Re: Agile and government do not mix

Damn,

I had "sprint" and "Did you snapshot all the servers last night? We've had an unexpected result and need to roll back" left on my card...

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Netgear says sorry four weeks after losing customer backups

Locky
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Re: "the outage lost all of his photographs"

I think you'll find it's not "at any point"

It's at the exact point you stop paying the subscription....

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IT error at Great Western Railway charging £10k for 63-mile journey ticket

Locky
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Re: small city

Careful now

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Computer games to become medal sport at Asian Games

Locky
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Re: Track and Field?

Track and Field? Peasant magic

I give the 1985 classic Daley Thompson's Decathlon. Hundreds of Spectrum keybords gave their lives for the skills we have achieved

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30,000 London gun owners hit by Met Police 'data breach'

Locky
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Mushroom

Don't worry, judging by the speed of the BT Openreach rollout north of the Gap, they'll just be able to unplug the US Robotics 33k modem to protect themselves

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No middle ground, no compromise: VMware blocks Cisco's SDN play

Locky
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Michael flexing his muscles

While I don't think the Borg are done just yet, this is clearly Dell wanting to kill off a bit of competition before raking back in some of that EMC pricetag.

Grab some popcorn, this one has a way to go yet

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Payday lender Wonga admits to data breach

Locky
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Re: Clarification

If the clients had a reasonable credit score, they wouldn't be using Wonga in the first place....

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Hundreds of millions 'wasted' on UK court digitisation scheme

Locky
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Agile Experts

Also known in these parts as "Make-it-up-as-they-go-along shysters"

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How about a nice game of ... Tetris? Oxford eggheads slow PTSD onset with classic game

Locky
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Mushroom

Tetris is okay

But nowhere near as much fun at thermo-nuclear war

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EE scrap connection fee... to hike broadband and telly packages

Locky
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I'm just waiting for the line

"The inevitable costs of Bexit" - It's not our fault gov

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Nuns left in limbo after phone line transfer hell

Locky
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Hit Eircom with a fine?

Better that than the thousand Hail Mary's I got for breaking a school window during a football match

A nun scorned is a terrifying thing

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As of today, iThings are even harder for police to probe

Locky
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Coat

Re: No Siri, I said 'googly'

Siri, when is half time?

About 3pm tomrrow

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Huawei's P10 breathing on Samsung's shoulder

Locky
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Coat

You also forgot to mention how much more black could it be. The answer is None. None more black

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BlackBerry admits dying BB10 is in pain

Locky
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I think it's safe to say

That there is no IT angle to this story. More's the pitty

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User jams up PC. Literally. No, we don't know which flavour

Locky
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You missed out

Cases lined with razor baldes to stop the un-initiated tinkering. That must be why they were like that

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Video intercom firm Doorbird wants $80 for device password resets

Locky
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Re: I have a large paper folder

It's quantum, baby...

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Locky
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Re: I have a large paper folder

One of the few things M$ did right, OneNote

Take photo of recipt and useful password doc with your fruit based device, add to folder. Job done

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MP brands 1,600 CSC layoffs as the 'worst excesses of capitalism'

Locky
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"Built on a foundation of trust and transformation"

I guess that slogan won, only slightly ahead of the second favourite, "Built on a foundation of loose sand and broken promises"

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Amazon S3-izure cause: Half the web vanished because an AWS bod fat-fingered a command

Locky
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Me to

Once powershelled the entire company to have an out of office saying "I have now left the company"

That was the day I leaned that with one specific get-mailbox filter, if it finds zero results, it selects all mailboxes. Thanks for that M$

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Tuesday's AWS S3-izure exposes Amazon-sized internet bottleneck

Locky
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Re: Lies and Urban Myths

Obligatory Dilbert

It's only funny because it's true...

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NHS patient letters meant for GPs went undelivered for years

Locky
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Optional

Its okay, they didn't loose them, they just securely stored them.

I wonder how much it costs to keep 500,000 docuemnts for 5 years?

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I was authorized to trash my employer's network, sysadmin tells court

Locky
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Re: Easy fix

@Aladdin Sane

I think you're right. Can't remember who.

I'll just Google it

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Connected car in the second-hand lot? Don't buy it if you're not hack-savvy

Locky
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Re: Hackers dream

I don't know what you're all so worried about. Security is top of the list of these car manufacturers.

It's not like one would broadcast an advert telling the world what it's default password is...

Oh

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Vinyl, filofaxes – why not us too, pleads Nokia

Locky
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Another Nokia mis-step

They've chosen the wrong phone to bring back. If they'd gone for the 6310, they would have cleaned up

I've probably still got a few car kits for them in the back of the comms room

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The best of Reg readers' David Hockney-style logo redesigns

Locky
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I'll raise to a whole snackbox of raisins, and a bottle of Yorkshire tap water

From there, you can rehydrate them and create your own wine

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David Hockney creates new Sun masthead. Now for The Reg...

Locky
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Re: El Reg and Sun, hmm...

Most impressive

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Stop replying! pleads NetApp customer stuck in reply-allpocalypse

Locky
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Rule 1 of email group management: Do not give them publicly available addresses

I wonder if a HP / EMC reseller has sent a reply all asking if anyone wants to migrate?

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WTF? Francis Ford Coppola crowdsources Apocalypse Now game

Locky
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Obligatory title

I love the smell of Kickstarter cash in the morning

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HP Inc recalls 101,000 laptop batteries before they halt and catch fire

Locky
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Re: Get a Pi-top

Stay on the path, and be in by dark...

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Ransomware brutes smacked 1 in 3 NHS trusts last year

Locky
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"...after being infected by Locky"

Sorry, couldn't help myself

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You have the right to be informed: Write to UK.gov, save El Reg

Locky
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Sealand?

Pah.

In the name Lester, El Reg should decamp to Rockall

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TV anchor says live on-air 'Alexa, order me a dollhouse' – guess what happens next

Locky
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Rest assured this this isn't a problem north of the border

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Ransomware scum face unified white hat army

Locky
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Come on then

I'll take you all on.

And yes, I am going to flease this joke until they stop making Locky virues

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Sysadmin 'fixed' PC by hiding it on a bookshelf for a few weeks

Locky
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Building sites + laptops =

Broken laptops full of dust

4 weeks to fix? I bet a quick Etch-a-sketch* reset would have dislodged the crud in the fan. Problem solved

* One for the kids there

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WINNER! Crush your loved ones at Connect Four this Christmas

Locky
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It's not Christmas without a game of...

Escape from Colditz

Festive

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Mirai variant turns TalkTalk routers into zombie botnet agents

Locky
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Only 2,398?

With 57,000 TalkTalk modem details available, this could well be the tip of the iceberg

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Everything at Apple Watch is awesome, insists Tim Cook

Locky
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Coffee/keyboard

Orlowski

You owe me a new keyboard for "Gartner’s prestigious Department of the Bleeding Obvious"

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Vegans furious as Bank of England admits ‘trace’ of animal fat in £5 notes

Locky
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Re: I shall do the decent thing...

I will start up an exchange process. I will swap 2 new fivers for a crisp tenner* for anyone who is unsure of how humanly dispose of them.

After all, I didn't fight my way up to the top of the food chain to worry about where my currency came from

* Plus £5 handling fee

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Ofcom to force a legal separation of Openreach

Locky
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@Rimmergram

Oh, are we playing Top Trumps?

2miles from exchange as the crow files, but end of the line as it runs

Suburbia of a digital city

Openreach cabled up to cabinets on the same road 300m away in both directions, but didn't join up the dots

No Virgin fibre to my house

Listed building so no satellite

1Mbps on a good day

Do I win a prize?

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UK.gov flings £400m at gold standard, ‘full-fibre' b*&%*%£$%. Yep. Broadband

Locky
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And watch it be given to TalkTalk....

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Analysts apply Occam's razor to Tesco Bank breach

Locky
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Joke

Re: Sounds horribly complicated

Burn them down? Pah, what a waste

What we should do is build a train track through them, so they don't grow back

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McDonald's sues Italian city for $20m after being burger-blocked

Locky
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@Rich11

Harrogate centre for many years was MaccyD's free for this exact reason, before the corperation bowed to the council's willing.

It was, not sure if it still it, the only franchise without the garish branding outside

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Tesco Bank limits online transactions after fraud hits thousands

Locky
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Re: Computerworld article

"Tesco Bank: Accelerating cloud adoption"

You might want to slow down a bit now

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Happy ending for Kettering as soapy veteran replaces Mean Girl Lindsay

Locky
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FIGHT!

Well I like Cheryl Fergison.

And I like Lindsay Lohan.

But who's better at pressing a big button in Kettering?

There's only one way to find out...

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World-leading heart hospital 'very, very lucky' to dodge ransomware hit

Locky
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Re: Stop treating people as a variable

Much as I hate the "why have a dog and bark yourself" attitude, this is very true.

<massgenerlisation>

It's our job to design, build and secure IT environments

It's their job to help people with very serious heart conditions

Trying to either side to do the others job isn't going to end well

</massgenerlisation>

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Hell Desk's 800 number was perfect for horrible heavy-breathing harassment calls

Locky
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Mentioned this before but

Never let that stop me telling the same story....

Back in the 90s I worked in the outskirts of that there London, and we all had 020 8.... numbers. All fine, apart from the corresponding 020 7 numbers evidently went to Scotland Yard, and specifically the CID

No, you really don't need to tell me something

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Brexit may not mean Brexit at all: UK.gov loses Article 50 lawsuit

Locky
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I am sure that the Brexiter's will accept the High Courts decision and we can all move on

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