* Posts by BongoJoe

1260 posts • joined 3 Apr 2010

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Microsoft's Windows 10 Workstation adds killer feature: No Candy Crush

BongoJoe
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Re: Price of Admission

On my (Windows 7) desktop I don't have a single icon. Not one.

All I look at is one of a random number of photographs on my desktop and if i want an application it's not too far away under the start button.

That's how I like it. Clean and my shui fenged out to the max.

This screenshot that you refer to is, I agree, utterly bewildering and completely unnecessary.

Remember the desktop picture as supplied by MS which was a grassy field which was being blown in a gentle breeze. That's the sort of thing that I would like to imagine that I can hear when I look at a computer screen not this tiled nonsense which convinces me that I can hear industrial sounds and white noise.

I'm off to rake some sand or something.

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You're decorating it wrong: Apple HomePod gives wood ring of death

BongoJoe
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Apple

I am surprised that Apple don't make a coaster from, er, Apple wood.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Lace Doily

I realize your post was tongue-in-cheek, however, looking at the general aesthetic of the HomePod, I think a nice white lace doily would actually look very nice and complement the unit.

How about one of those doll things with a lacy skirt that go over spare toilet rolls as seen in 3rd rate seaside resort guest houses?

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BongoJoe
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Re: Wood is not minimalistic.

Betting they'll adapt the pod to leave an apple logo, instead of a ring after this

Sidenote: I've just filled in the medical form for the local medical practice as I've just moved into the area. And I've left a wine stain ring on the bit where it asks about how many units I consume in a week...

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From tomorrow, Google Chrome will block crud ads. Here's how it'll work

BongoJoe
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Re: Not half-way good enough.

I run a popular website. I do have a few static advertising links on my blog in the middle of a well written article. That's fine as far as I am concerned as I am the one making sure that link is simply a static link to a page.

Then I get these large advertising giants who want me to put my site inside a massive wall of JavaScript. And I mean massive. The script has no line feeds, useless variable names and is clearly designed not to debugged and analysed.

When I get these JavaScript samples from these advertising agencies I always ask for an version of the code that is human readable and with documentation.

I have never once had my request granted. I have no intention of letting these JavaScript walls onto my site: I don't even have a Google Analytics script running as I feel that the only JavaScript on a site should be a single line of code to put the cursor into the first text input box.

Anyway, if these agencies refuse to let us know what they are wanting us to put on our websites then there's no way that I will have them on my website. And if I don't trust them not to put them onto my website then there's no way that I am going to trust them as a visitor to the site.

So, it's adblockers, HOSTS files and subscription sites all the way for me.

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Bloke sues Microsoft: Give me $600m – or my copy of Windows 7 back

BongoJoe
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Re: how long ago was this?

It may be the lack of caffeine here but I couldn't see any indication of when this stuff happened.

The gentleman may have been trying to communicate with Microsoft for months, perhaps years, and after getting shoved from pillar to post has decided to recourse to this action.

I would imagine that at far as he is concerned he started off with a working computer and then an update broke it. That, in his mind, puts the fault firmly and squarely at Microsoft's door.

Furthermore, the massive tag on the law suit isn't to get $600m but to make Microsoft sit up, take notice and give him what he bought in the first place: a functioning version of Windows 7.

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Yorkshire cops have begun using on-the-spot fingerprint scanners

BongoJoe
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Re: Not on IDENT1

Privacy is only wanted bu the rich,police,politicians and terrorist/criminals. Which one are you

None of the above. But at least I am not posting as an AC. So, which of the above are you?

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BongoJoe
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Re: Not on IDENT1

After all only people with stuff to hide would refuse.

I would refuse. Even if I had nothing to hide.

No, that's wrong. I do have something to hide: my personal and private business.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Non binary DNA

Not to mention YYZ...

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Boffins upload worm's brain into a computer, teach it tricks

BongoJoe
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Wouldn't it contain only half a worm?

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Home taping revisited: A mic in each hand, pointing at speakers

BongoJoe
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Re: Pics, or it didn't happen!

I tried the black velvet jacket, denim shirt and neckerchief approach but couldn't manage the mustache.

I thought that I looked like Jon Lord. Jon Lord perhaps would have thought that I looked like a knob.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Bodging the 60's

We did do this. And then there was a market for mix tapes in the playground after the question was invariably asked, "was it recorded by mike or (gasp!) was it recorded by wire?"

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BongoJoe
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Re: Pixie Boots

If that made you dance around on one leg then you're Ian Anderson and I claim my five pounds!

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BongoJoe
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Shirley

while a generic Gene Hunt kicks me in the nuts and calls me a "nonce".

Wouldn't it have been Jack Regan?

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Morrisons launches bizarre Yorkshire Pudding pizza thing

BongoJoe
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Thankfully one can now get it online.

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No Windows 10, no Office 2019, says Microsoft

BongoJoe
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Ah, but sometimes some of these 'macros' or, shall we say, VBA are very useful in these applications.

I look around at the Excel documents that I use daily and wonder how I would get the job done without VBA at all. It's not just middle managers who use this stuff but people who, well, use the stuff and use it well.

Don't get me wrong. I am not a MS luvvie. I would happily ditch everything MS tomorrow if I could, if only someone were to port all my Visual Studio code, all of my Office stuff and everything Microsofty to something else. Truly I would, and I speak as a coder who has been suffering since the first days of Visual Basic.

But I accept that I am locked in and it's quicker for me to await personal retirement (I don't work for anyone else but make money from the various markets) than to recode everything. But that's not my point is: the point is that it's not all middle managers who use VBA. They have other ways to make your life hell.

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NHS: Thanks for the free work, Linux nerds, now face our trademark cops

BongoJoe
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Re: Wait...

I once sent a memo around where I worked on Durham Prison headed notepaper.

The bosses were less than impressed.

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Crypto-cash exchange BitConnect pulls plug amid Bitcoin bloodbath

BongoJoe
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Question

Is it still not a bubble?

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BongoJoe
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Re: Hodl o-on loosely...

Yes, in a past life in which I had clearly done something awful...

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OK, Google: Why does Chromecast clobber Wi-Fi connections?

BongoJoe
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Re: Bought one a while back, returned it almost immediately

That was very reminiscent of our Amazon Fire Stick. It would continually download screensaver pictures and block our broadband.

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Remember those holy tech wars we used to have? Heh, good times

BongoJoe
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Sinclair QL or Amiga

That was a good one in its time.

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Proposed Brit law to ban b**tards brandishing bots to bulk-buy tickets

BongoJoe
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Re: Small bands

I know people who fly to overseas venues, stay in a hotel and it works out cheaper than watching the band in the local UK arena.

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FCC douses America's net neutrality in gas, tosses over a lit match

BongoJoe
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That Video

I am astounded at That Video. This is a commissioner who is supposed to act with dignity and consider all of the angles and implications.

This looked like something that was dreamed up by the writers of House of Cards as a spoof because I am sure that the internet is a little more than taking pictures of food. Or it was the last time that I looked.

Of course, this could be nothing more than a dream inspired by a lump of bad cheese that's....

....Carrier Lost. Please add $5 to your internet meter....

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Tired of despairing of Trump and Brexit? Why not despair about YouTube stars instead?

BongoJoe
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Re: So?

...and getting knighthoods for just Reading Out Aloud!

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New Capita system has left British Army recruits unable to register online

BongoJoe
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select count(*) from applicants where date_of_application >= <this years recruitment start date>

or did someone forget to add the date of application into the table.

Or the Code assumed the date to be in British Format whereas the date format internally within the database was in American Format. And some developers catered for this difference and some didn't.

I've seen that before. Which is why on anything to do with dates I always start from the base date of 1/1/1970 (either format, of course) and then do anything with dates as Integers based on this. A pain but, oddly enough, everything that I have touched never got that wrong.

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Disk drive fired 'Frisbees of death' across data centre after storage admin crossed his wires

BongoJoe
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Re: Recycle platters from modern hard disks

But if you get your disk from landfill, make sure it's not the one with £180m of bitcoin on it.

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Los Angeles police tell drivers not to trust navigation apps as wildfires engulf area

BongoJoe
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Re: Techdrone

One of the health and safety notices that I have saved came with my drumstool: "Do not use in earthquakes"

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New Jersey lawmakers propose ban on folks drunk droning

BongoJoe
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Re: Is that enough?

Car drivers need situational awareness in only two dimensions

I would have thought it was a lot more than just two. There's time as well to consider as well as the plain vector. Such as, if I slow down will there be enough room for the oncoming car which is now moving off on an angle away from directly on, or if I put another few mph onto my speed, will I get into the passing place coming up and will I be able to stop? Is there ice on the road and, if so, are my rear wheels following the same path as my front wheels?

But cars turn and there's all sort of differential equations going on in real time in one's head to anticipate where things are going.

So, I would say two dimensional awareness isn't anywhere sufficient.

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Spy-on-your-home Y-Cam cameras removes free cloud storage bit

BongoJoe
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Re: Lifetime Guarantee!

Like pacemakers.

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From the graaaaaave! WileyFox's Windows 10 phone delayed again

BongoJoe
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Re: Only but if you like shit customer service.

Oh, sounds like you didn't get your purchase rebate either.

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Royal Bank of Scotland culls 1 in 4 branches, blames the interwebz

BongoJoe
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Re: Last Bank In Town

I noticed that NatWest and the old Midland solve that tricky problem of remaining to be the last bank in town by both arranging to shut down on the same day.

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Scotland, now is your time… to launch Brexit Britain into SPAAAACE!

BongoJoe
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Re: The ideal location

I think that I may regret moving to Scotland...

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BongoJoe
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Re: @GBE They're going to move it.

Having held a kilt for my friend one time

Why? What on earth was he doing at the time that required someone to hold his kilt for him?

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Thou shalt use our drone app, UK.gov to tell quadcopter pilots

BongoJoe
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... and we were completely unable to sort out the education system to keep it going.

Exactly.

The education system kept churning out Middle Managers which were the bane of my techie life.

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A certain millennial turned 30 recently: Welcome to middle age, Microsoft Excel v2

BongoJoe
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Re: Classic software

I still use a version of Paint Shop Pro, pretty much on a daily basis. Version 1 released in 1990.

I use PSP on a near daily basis too. My version is v8 which came out in 2003 and works well. For what I use it for I can't imagine a better tool even though I assume that it's been improved significantly since that year.

caveat: Assuming, of course, that one installs that patch which allows to save over an pre-existing file (yes, that was a bit of a corking bug)

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BongoJoe
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Re: 30 years on...

Oh yes, indeed

And try to explain what you mean to a user, over a telephone, that they have perhaps opened a new instance of Excel rather than opened a spreadsheet into the same instance of Excel...

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BongoJoe
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Normally, yes.

But there are advantages with Access with million row databases (I have one) over 'proper database servers' such as:

- Back up (XCOPY *.mdb will do the trick)

- Sharing the data with a chum who is not on the network and is clueless (it's on your drop box, copy it somewhere and then open it)

- Not having to maintain a proper database server

Doing these things whilst at work and being paid for, as one person above mentioned this, and doing this at home when one wants simplicity is another.

I could have a proper database and that being backed up but it's easier to rebuild a machine that's died, sling onto it Office via CD/DVD and then copy from pendrive the .mdb file.

But despite the million record tables in my Access it's never died. Perhaps because I haven't used it for multi-user which, once upon a time, used to kill it (unless one did lots of clever stuff, but that's another story).

It's another one of these If It's Access/Excel/VBA then it must be crap memes. It's actually a bloody good little database. Not perfect but still bloody good and has given me less grief than SQL Server over the years.

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BongoJoe
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Mushroom

Re: "I have to say Excel is one thing Microsoft got right."

Trouble is that the Autocalculate option turns itself on just for the fun of it every now and then.

Sometimes it's because I've opened a spreadsheet constructed by someone else and,sometimes, because Excel bloody well feels like it and I wonder why my machine seems to have stopped dead for a few minutes.

I wish that the sodding thing would stay off when turned off.

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BongoJoe
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VBA is massively underrated.

In the spreadsheet that I am using day in and day out, I couldn't have done the operation with formulae. But there can't be much that can be done in C++ that can't be done in VBA.

One sheet I use most days is something that I have knocked up which handles linked lists with tens of thousands of entries and has its own garbage collection built in. Doing stuff like that, without storing the data within a sheet, would be nigh on impossible and even if I used a worksheet to store the data rather than in a linked list I would perhaps still need VBA.

If one treats VBA as Visual Basic 6 with $APPLICATION objects glued in (be it Excel, Word, Access, Powerpoint, etc) and writes proper code then it's rather good.

Yes, one doesn't have all the fancy Object Oriented coding facilities offered to us that C++ does but it goes most of the way there, and I except that, but this doesn't mean that it's a bad language or should be taken out and shot.

Like all languages there are people who abuse it or miscode and this gives the language a bad name whereas in actual fact it's the coder that's usually to blame.

Some of my VBA applications are tens of thousands of lines long and they work perfectly. Yes, I could use a standalone language, as I do in some cases, and talk to $APPLICATION via COM. But then I've seen on these boards people saying that COM is also the spawn of the devil. Sigh

There's nothing wrong with VBA apart from a few bits of OOP architecture missing but it's still a bloody good language.

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SurfaceBook 2 battery drains even when plugged in

BongoJoe
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Re: To hark back to the broad band story

Do not^d^d^d use your Surface to develop a particularly taxing power point just before heading off to a meeting to deliver that power point

As they say, fixed that for you.

Yours, a previous victim of Powerpoint bludgeoning.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Fit for purpose?

As a full time motorhomer, I take an interest in what's out there with the new builds (the old ones are still better, in my view: which almost echos the Win7/Win10 viewpoints).

Anyway, Olaf, one of the UK firms of motorhome manufacturers released a year or so ago a new range of motorhomes with lots of groovy and fun extras.

One slight problem; the weight of the thing (the payload to be accurate) was in excess of what was allowed to be driven on the roads. It didn't stop them selling the motorhomes though.

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BongoJoe
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Facepalm

Re: Quite common in phones

the cable makes a huge difference

Oh, no. Let's not go here again!

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Amazon Key door-entry flaw: No easy fix to stop rogue couriers burgling your place unseen

BongoJoe
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Re: My favorite part of having a home

If I am not going to be in, I have the courier deliver it to the off-licence down the road or in the next town to where I am travelling.

That way I can be sure of the security, get a bottle of something nice with a cork in the top and, lastly, give the licencee some trade.

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Remember CompuServe forums? They're still around! Also they're about to die

BongoJoe
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Re: Compuserve

Gosh me neither. I used to hang around the MS Access forums (all of them), a couple of language ones and also the Metastock stock trading one.

At the time it was a brilliant resource with lots of helpful people. And, you know what: one didn't need an Ad Blocker on one's off-line reader in those more enlightened days.

I suppose this means the end of my @compuserve.com eMail address as well.

Oh well, thanks for the service and, of course, the memories. Sigh

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US Homeland Security says hardly any Kaspersky software left on federal networks

BongoJoe
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Re: MS' Windows 10 conduited baked-in 'slurped' malware uploads work in exactly the same way.

David: Do one thing, and do it well.

Upvote from me

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UK Home Sec thinks a Minority Report-style AI will prevent people posting bad things

BongoJoe
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Re: Count me unimpressed

I bought an ironing board cover from Amazon one time, and for several days afterwards the only thing it would recommend was porn videos. And absolutely nothing else.

According to the AI you like hot, steamy manual back and forth action whilst bending over a table...

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User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

BongoJoe
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Re: Remove the note!

I once had a moth go across my screen one late, late night when my brain was utterly frazzled.

I tried to right click on it to identify it.

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This could be our favorite gadget of 2017: A portable projector

BongoJoe
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Fair comment, but I've never really considered a motorhome to be anything but vaguely related to camping.

Granted, camping isn't my field of expertise by any stretch of the imagination but it's really just a hotel suite on wheels isn't it?

Which is why the SSID of our motorhome's WiFi is "TheGinPalace"

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