* Posts by BongoJoe

1180 posts • joined 3 Apr 2010

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Combinations? Permutations? Those words don't mean what you think they mean

BongoJoe
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Re: How I always remembered it

Indeed the 'perms' should have been called 'combs'.

One of the first thing I learned in sixth form statistics in the seventies.

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uBlock Origin ad-blocker knocked for blocking hack attack squawking

BongoJoe
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Re: When there's doubt...

On my sites I don't have GA installed at all and it's fun when I get asked by Advertising Fucktards for my stats and I send them something that approximates my wildest imagination.

Oddly they can't get their heads the fact that most of my readers are seemingly from the Vatican City...

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BongoJoe
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Re: Fuck 'em

I miss the internet of the early days when if you didn't know the eMail address of anyone in a firm then a single message to one address (I have forgotten which now) would give the directory listing of everyone inside.

Of course, this useful function got abused and has been consigned to history. Thank the spammers for this.

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Argh, my loafer just fell down the rope ladder! Yes, I'm in the Microsoft treehouse

BongoJoe
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Back to Windows 3.1

After all, this is Channelwood age of Myst. Isn't it?

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Blade Runner 2049 review: Scott's vision versus Villeneuve's skill

BongoJoe
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Re: Expectation sets the bar

With the Prometheus DVD I found I was simply fascinated with the Making Of... bits (all seven hours of it).

The film may be flawed but watching how it was made really impressed me and after watching the Making Of I finally forgive all the flaws and went back and said Wow!

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BBC Telly Tax petition given new Parliament debate date

BongoJoe
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Re: This all seems quaint and amusing

Oh, and also the bit at the end of the programme: the one that's telling us what's coming next week.

Again, no need to tell us because if your programme was decent enough we'd remember to tune in and watch next week. I'd rather that time were spent on actual content.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Sigh

I would like to see the BBC run by a board of say 10,000 license holders selected at random.

I wouldn't like to be the one handing out the bisuits for that board meeting...

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BongoJoe
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Re: This all seems quaint and amusing

The BBC lost it for me when they fill in the first two or three minutes (the bit before the first advert break when they flog it to BBC America) with a preview of what's coming up in the rest of the programme.

There's no need for that. We'll come to that in due course.

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BongoJoe
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Trollface

How to shut them up

After being continually pestered, i.e. threatened, for not having a licence despite not having a television in the house I decided to respond to them and turn the tables on them.

So I rang up the number in Darlington that was on the top of the very red and angry looking letter and asked the lady, "Can you see our address on your screen?"

"Yes"

"Right, where we live we're right at the end of the Llŷn Peninsula. We can't receive any UK terrestial signal and we don't have Sky or anything else like that. In fact, the only television signal we can receive is from the Republic of Ireland, which we can see on a clear day. Could you clarify who we should pay for our licence; yourselves or those in Ireland?"

"Er, we'll get back to you."

They didn't.

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Home Sec Amber Rudd: Yeah, I don't understand encryption. So what?

BongoJoe
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I have often wondered what happens if something is actually 'bunked'.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Rudd

When I was young lad I always had a small bottle of HCl in my pocket so that I could definitely distinguish between sandstone and limestone.

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UK lotto players quids in: Website knocked offline by DDoS attack

BongoJoe
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Re: How awful

Pissing away money? Sorry, to rain on your parade but some of us actually do make money or a living out of punting.

Like I said in a post just higher up: "value betting". That's all one needs to understand.

So stop being so bloody puritanical and closed minded.

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BongoJoe
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Re: How awful

Well, perhaps the punters can use the money to buy a simple book on 'Value Betting' then after they have read the basics then they can perhaps visit your afore-mentioned Ladbrokes until they get closed down for being a successful punter.

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EasyJet: We'll have electric airliners within the next decade

BongoJoe
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Re: Small steps...

Solar panels on the wings.

That would sort out the issue of noise of night time flights near airports.

Tongue firmly jammed in (my own) cheeks

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Alleged dark web drug baron cuffed – after he flew to US for World Beard Championships

BongoJoe
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These competitions could only be improved if they all arrived clean shaven and then locked in a room with no food and water (but only CCTV) and then told to grow the best beard before being released.

That would sort out no end of social problems and clear the streets of a vast amount of knobheads.

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Microsoft gives all staff a marked-up 'Employee Edition' of Satya Nadella's new book

BongoJoe
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Paris Hilton

A, ey?

That's not an 'A', that's a graphic of a bloke's legs after being shot and has just crumpled to his knees

Paris icon ----> Because of, of course, on knees...

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Twitter's 280-char blog mode can be enabled client-side. Just sayin'

BongoJoe
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Re: Double trouble

@AC

I think that it's plain to see that Trump is some sort of neo-cryptoAnarchist and that his plan is working quite successfully, thank you ever so much.

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My name is Bill Gates and I am an Android user

BongoJoe
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Re: Thriller

One didn't need the Ribbon. One could just customise the various toolbars for use for the firm and then roll those out.

It worked well before Microsoft buggered up Office and just dragged it further down the toilet with each and every release.

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Scared of that new-fangled 'cloud'? Office 2019 to the rescue!

BongoJoe
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Copyright

I'm dead chuffed how you managed to get permission so easily for the title image.

I've tried before to get a similar but, alas, failed.

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Microsoft: We've made a coding language for a quantum computer that may or may not exist

BongoJoe
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How long before...

...Microsoft drop this language/technology?

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You forgot that you hired me and now you're saying it's my fault?

BongoJoe
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I wonder if your mother worked for a pre-natal clinic.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Ah, 'booking'

1. There was a TV

2. There was working power in the room in the first place.

That frankly was an achievement for the overspill rooms in exchanges.

Ah, exchanges. In fact in one exchange I went to there wasn't even an exchange, let alone a roof.

I must write in that tale before I pop off this mortal coil...

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Headless body found near topless beach: Missing private sub journalist identified

BongoJoe
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Headmaster

Re: Obvious and stupid mistake

All this rabid dislike of Imperial measurements when they can be just as decimal as decimal.

Ten pounds weight is a gallon of water.

Ten chains (length of a cricket pitch) to a furlong (used in proper sports) and an area described as a furlong by a chain is an acre. And what's so hard about that?

And best of all: an ounce of gold does weigh more than an ounce of feathers!

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Lottery-hacking sysadmin's unlucky number comes up: 25 years in the slammer

BongoJoe
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Re: No code review??

Ah, good old ERNIE, who (or did) dish up the numbers for the UK's Premium Bond prizes uses a different method: counting moving atoms or something similar.

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Science fiction great Brian Aldiss, 92, dies at his Oxford home

BongoJoe
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Re: Hothouse

I found Helliconia to be his best work and I must read it again.

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British Airways waves Bing dong: At least it's not a tech cockup

BongoJoe
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I am impressed

at the sand scribbler who clearly knew where to put his work of art so that it would appear just there on the British Airways page.

How did he do it?

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US cops point at cell towers and say: Give us every phone number that's touched that mast

BongoJoe
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Re: If you are a bad-un all you need to do is:

Damn, yes. I must be a very dodgy criminal every time I switch the thing off for the theatre or a concert.

You might be one day! Was the showing pre-approved?! WHO WERE YOU WITH?!

Was it Les Mis? Then you're someone with revolutionary tendancies, as would be if it were Evita. And if it were Chicago then clearly you're hanging around with nefarious types.

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Defra recruiting 1,400 policy wonks to pick up the pieces after Brexit

BongoJoe
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Re: Brexit

More remoaner bollocks.

That's it. I have had enough of this expression, "remoaner".

From what I have seen over the past year and a bit over no end of web sites it's always been the pro-leavers who have been the moaners.

So, what is going on?

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Forget sexy zero-days. Siemens medical scanners can be pwned by two-year-old-days

BongoJoe
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Perhaps, or perhaps not.

Which is good, because no one wants an X-ray scanner to go nuts at the hand of a hacker while a patient is in it.

Given the useless and utterly inaccurate diagnosis endured from the last consultant, perhaps the hacker may have more chance of giving a better one. The cat certainly does a far better job than the overpaid twonk.

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Google drops poker face, allows gambling apps on Play Store

BongoJoe
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Re: There are only two kinds of people in the world.

And those who understand the meaning of value betting and the 99.9% who don't.

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BongoJoe
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Their web site is pure Flash which is a ruddy nuisance as it means I have to have one dedicated machine just to get my bets on there.

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WannaCry-killer Marcus Hutchins denies Feds' malware claims

BongoJoe
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WTF?

Vetting?

I understand that he was working with, or for, GCHQ.

Don't they have any form of vetting?

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BongoJoe
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Re: America is mad!

At least unlike unarmed Australian ladies in their nightwear I still have the ability to shut my hole.

She now has a lot more holes and none of them could be shut in time.

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BongoJoe
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Re: America is mad!

An objections to his bail was that he visited a firing range.

One could easily consider the whole of the country being a firing range, especially near any policeman.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Let's make a deal

Maybe the U.S. govt will swap him for Assange?

Tricky, as technically Assange isn't in Britain.

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Scary news: Asteroid may pass Earth by just 6,880km in October

BongoJoe
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Re: Context

<emEven closer when you take the Earths orbital speed into account of approx 30km/s.

So Earth covers the 6800km in about 3mins 45secs</em>

Which has qualified as the most chilling post of the year*.

(* or as the Left Pondians would say: "Chillingmost")

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BongoJoe
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Re: It's those damned Arachnids again...

Also a bad idea in Alien 3, I believe, so there's clearly a theme evolving here.

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BongoJoe
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Re: Context

I read that as humans IN the centre of the earth...

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BongoJoe
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Er, what defences?

See title

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The ultimate full English breakfast – have your SAY

BongoJoe
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Re: Runny eggs ?

Welsh Breakfasts do exist. Especially in the Welsh speaking heartlands of North Wales and the Llŷn.

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Pre-order your early-bird pre-sale product today! (Oh did we mention the shipping date has slipped AGAIN?)

BongoJoe
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Re: Kickstarter's about 99.995% bad

I used Kickstarter to pay for an excellent coffe-table book on the history of the Empires of Eve.

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UK ministers' Broadband '2.0' report confuses superfast with 10Mbps

BongoJoe
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Seriously though. Cost of HS2: £55Bn. Cost of wiring up the whole country to be proper actual FTTP: <£55Bn. Which one is more important?

Clearly HS2. Because with HS2 a small, but clearly important, number of high earning City types can then commute daily from the Yorkshire Dales to their London office.

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UK government's war on e-cigs is over

BongoJoe
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Re: Jesus, NO!

I accept your point but the problem is that we see today so many 'independent' studies that aren't.

We see reports saying that sugar isn't harmful, for example, and then we find out who has sponsored that study. I have lost count of independent studies that show us that various foods are good/bad and the same for medicines and behind them somewhere is someone is a vested interest.

Not all of them, of course, but far too many to not to take this, and anything else, on face value.

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Juicy fine for Bradford firm after it blurts one million spam texts

BongoJoe
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Er, why would I wish to borrow a fruit?

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User left unable to type passwords after 'tropical island stress therapy'

BongoJoe
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Re: the nub of the issue...

Nobody expects users to do their own diagnosis... just please be a little less unhelpful!

Normally, I would agree. And then I get the users who say "There was an error box popping up."

"What did it say?"

"I don't know. I just clicked on OK"

Which is a far cry from "The car pulls to the right" or "there is a noise over 50mph". Those users who just click on the error box may as well say "There's something wrong with the car but I am not going to tell you what."

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BongoJoe
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Re: Government staff: need I say more?

I got told off by the Head of IT at some site I was working in when an over earning lawyer came into the room asking "Is the internet down?"

I answered with "Yes, they're backing it up."

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Now here's a novel idea: Digitising Victorian-era stamp duty machines

BongoJoe
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I do remember living in Belgium, until about the turn of the century, that even posters on the street, advert cards in newsagents all had little stamps on them. It seems that there was one person's job in the post office to just handle these stamps.

I think that these transactions just about covered their salary.

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Hey, remember that monkey selfie copyright drama a few years ago? Get this – It's just hit the US appeals courts

BongoJoe
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Re: Devil's Advocate

Only if the cars trigger the camera. If, however, the cameras took a picture every second then the copyright would belong to the Dartford Tunnel people.

It could be interesting if this went further (and applied to the Right Side of the Pond) because this may mean that the pictures couldn't be sent between departments or different authorities.

Until the day, that is, that there's a small disclaimer written on a notice board saying something like "Use of this motorway is considered acceptance of our terms and conditions regarding copyright of your likeness."

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Microsoft hits Alt-F4 on 3,000 global sales staff

BongoJoe
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These boxes

I've never understood people who take stuff home in a box. A potted plant, for goodness' sake?

I would simply put what would fit into my pockets and then perhaps consider a small desktop fire for the rest.

Perhaps this may explain why when I was last 'let go' I was told just so over a beer in a remote pub.

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Brit prosecutors ask IT suppliers to fight over £3 USB cable tender

BongoJoe
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Re: Not just restricted to governments

My father, back in the sixties, once received a gas bill for £0. 0s 0d and, of course, ignored it.

A reminder letter followed and then a Final Demand. So, he rang up the office to ask how this could be sorted and he was told that the computer needs to see that a payment had been made, so would be kindly send a cheque for no pounds, no shilling and no pennies.

A few days later he received a letter saying that his account was up to date.

Then in the next post a letter from the bank arrived asking him what the hell he was playing at writing cheques for such an amount.

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