* Posts by Anomalous Cowturd

951 posts • joined 2 Apr 2010

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Phased out: IT architect plugs hole in clean-freak admin's wiring design

Anomalous Cowturd
FAIL

Re: Don't get me started on Architects who know best...

Or the Lidl store near me, that had to be demolished and rebuilt after numerous flooding incidents.

Must have cost millions.

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Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!

Anomalous Cowturd
Headmaster

Spelt?

Spelled!

Spelt is a type of grain.

;o?

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10

Hi-de-Hack! Redcoats red-faced as Butlin's holiday camp admits data breach hit 34,000

Anomalous Cowturd
FAIL

Well, that's a coincidence...

My step-daughter and her family departed for Butlitz in Bognor Regis this very morning. I wonder what surprise she'll be coming home to?

I'm not going to spoil her holiday by telling her this news. :o(

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How much do you think Cisco's paying erstwhile Brit PM David Cameron?

Anomalous Cowturd
Stop

Re: @Gareth Corfield

> Although on the topic of brexit I am sure he is now 'dont-call-me dave'.

On the topic of brexit I am sure he is now 'Dave's not here, man.'

Fixed.

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Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Anomalous Cowturd
Pint

So long...

...and thanks for all the fish.

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Doctor, doctor, I feel like my IoT-enabled vacuum cleaner is spying on me

Anomalous Cowturd
Happy

Re: IoT foolishness

> Your use case is valid, it's the implementation that fails.

It works fine as a vacuum cleaner without any network connection, but you lose the facility to program scheduled clean ups, or adjust the power settings, along with many other features.

I agree with you that the external network access is not necessary for most use cases, but it does give you the option to trigger a cleanup from afar, or watch it fill in the map as it goes around. It uses LIDAR, not a camera.

It cost far less than any Dyson cleaner, and you don't have to do the hoovering yourself.

Xiaomi Mi robot vacuum version 1. Under £250 on GearBest. One of the best performing robo vacs on the market. It's my new best friend. ;o)

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Anomalous Cowturd
Stop

Re: IoT foolishness

> I can't think of a good reason why your vacuum cleaner needs access to the internet at all. This is just more IoT madness.

So you / I can control it from the comfort of $wherever you like$ without having to physically go and fetch it.

If I drop crumbs on the floor, I can summon mine to the exact location for a spot clean, without leaving my chair. For us disabled folks, it's a marvel. I've ordered another one as a treat for my cleaner.

Just because you personally don't see a reason for something, doesn't mean there isn't a very good one for someone else.

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Azure running out of internets in UK South, starts rationing VMs

Anomalous Cowturd
Mushroom

No clouds = no cloud.

What a scorcher.

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Git365. Git for Teams. Quatermass and the Git Pit. GitHub simply won't do now Microsoft has it

Anomalous Cowturd
Coat

Re: Doesn't matter what they call it ...

{With my last cat, if I didn't know where she was, I'd just poke my head out the door and yell "CHEESE!".}

Does she like having her picture taken?

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Microsoft Azure Europe embraced the other GDPR: Generally Down, Possibly Recovering

Anomalous Cowturd
Unhappy

Re: Title

Yes, no, and no.

My silver karma badge fell off when I stopped posting regularly, quite some time ago. This site has gone downhill / changed in the past two years.

I blame Sarah, for leaving.

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Intel chip flaw: Math unit may spill crypto secrets from apps to malware

Anomalous Cowturd
Coat

Re: Lever it out

Weitek?

Showing my age...

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Fixing a printer ended with a dozen fire engines in the car park

Anomalous Cowturd

Re: Had the fire brigade called to a five star hotel, in Malta....

On a school trip to Boulogne in the early 70s, we discovered a machine that dispensed freshly cooked frites. It had a little window where you could watch them cook. Massively impressive to an eleven year old. :o)

Didn't have fancy microcontrollers in those days. Presumably it had something resembling a washing machine mechanical programmer inside, or a very small and hot Frenchman?

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Anomalous Cowturd
Pint

Re: Had the fire brigade called to a five star hotel, in Malta....

Re : York Brewery, Toft Green.

Bastards stole my umbrella!

(Actually, I got rat arsed, and left it behind.)

2
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Pentagon in uproar: 'China's lasers' make US pilots shake in Djibouti

Anomalous Cowturd
Gimp

Re: Wot U said

"It'll end up white, pebble-shaped, and extremely expensive."

And it won't actually fly.

1
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Double double, soil and trouble, fire burn and heat shield bubble: NASA cracks rover, has dirty talk with ESA

Anomalous Cowturd
Holmes

Re: Safety and life

Don't worry. They're going to run them under a tap first.

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Let's go to Mars, dude: Euro space parachute passes maiden test

Anomalous Cowturd
Stop

Re: Wtf

You are Lewis Page, and I claim my £5.

10
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The UK isn't ditching Boeing defence kit any time soon

Anomalous Cowturd
Mushroom

Re: as RyanAir never seem to land quite where you might expect them to.

>>>Any landing you can walk away from is a good one.

And if the plane is still airworthy, it's a great one.

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Fancy that! Craft which float over everything on a cushion of air

Anomalous Cowturd
Pirate

Re: Dover

I helped build the hoverport in 1978-9. Was there for the topping out, and the first test flights. It has been demolished now. :o(

There was also a monster French built hovercraft, L'ingénieur Jean Bertin, which used the port.

They were all as noisy as fuck. If the wind was blowing the wrong way, you could hear them in Folkestone, seven miles away...

They also wallowed like pigs. There was a reason every seat had a sick bag. Also, piss poor view out of the windows.

Great on a calm day though. Good for 60MPH+

23
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Crushed Juicero now officially a fruitless endeavor

Anomalous Cowturd
Stop

Re: I bet...

Have you tried EEVblog ?

A voice to die kill for.

Fingernails on a blackboard, to me.

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Anomalous Cowturd
Coffee/keyboard

Re: The real thing ...

[quote]

Is there anything better than the juice from a ripe peach?

Get between the lips and oooooh ...

[/quote]

Are we still talking about Juicero? ;o?

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Anomalous Cowturd

Re: I bet...

AvE did.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ

39
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Verizon is gonna axe its 'unlimited' data hogs

Anomalous Cowturd
WTF?

Re: Off Topic: Whoopee! El Reg has HTTPS! Almost

About fucking time too.

Probably because the hit count has dropped so low these days that the server can manage https without struggling...

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10

Lester Haines: RIP

Anomalous Cowturd
IT Angle

Rest in peace Lester.

My deepest condolences to his family and friends at this difficult time.

No matter how old you get, nothing prepares you for a sudden loss, like this one.

Icon used to contain a gravestone...

4
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Intel loses its ARM wrestling match, kicks out Atom mobe chips

Anomalous Cowturd

Re: Don't see Intel succeeding at IoTs.

Arduino Nano V3 clones are available for £1.48 including delivery from China, on a popular auction site. £2.89 gets one on your desk tomorrow, if you're in the UK.

Amazing little things. Plug in and go, on Linux.

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Hands on with the BBC's Micro:Bit computer. You know, for kids

Anomalous Cowturd

Re: Oh man

LAN?

No socket for that on a Teletype...

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Aroused Lycra-clad cyclist prompts Manchester cop dragnet

Anomalous Cowturd
FAIL

@BebopWeBop Re: Camel toe?

You're new here aren't you?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Camel_toe

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France says 'non' to Wi-Fi and Tor restrictions after terror attack

Anomalous Cowturd
Unhappy

Re: Gravy chip

They'll be fuckin' 'ard put to find a decent curry anywhere in Belfast! Maybe a "Chinese?"

When I was last in Norn Iron in 2000 or 2001, I was reliably informed by an R.U.C. gentleman of my acquaintance that there were only three "Indians" in the whole country. And they were all shit, compared to the ones in the UK, at the time. Plenty of chippies and Chinese take aways.

"Indian cuisine" has improved massively here in S.E. UK in the last 10 years. Let's hope the same is true there.

As for Syrian cuisine? I suggest they bring their own pans. And recipes. And ingredients. And chairs.

Poor bastards.

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Kiwi judge rules Kim Dotcom can be extradited to USA

Anomalous Cowturd
Headmaster

Domum!

Um.

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Smut-seeding Prenda Law ringleader must sell home to pay $2.5m debt

Anomalous Cowturd
FAIL

I wonder how our Mr. Crossley is getting on...

Oh, he's working for some other algae^W law firm in Eastbourne.

Probably amending Wills...

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UK citizens will have to pay government to spy on them

Anomalous Cowturd
Black Helicopters

at an internet governance meeting in Brazil...

Oh, the irony.

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Dad who shot 'snooping vid drone' out of the sky is cleared of charges

Anomalous Cowturd
Stop

@emmanuel goldstein re:not allowed access to firearms in the UK

It's not difficult to get a Firearms Certificate here in the UK, as long as you don't have a conviction of >5 years or for serious crimes, or a documented mental illness. Membership of a shooting club is recommended, as it speeds the process.

Shotgun Certificates are even easier to obtain. Just ask at the Masonic Lodge! ;o)

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UK.gov launches roadmap for Quantum of Something or other

Anomalous Cowturd
WTF?

Quantum engineers?

Does that mean really small ones?

Pygmies?

0
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Little bang for the Big C? Nitro in the anti-cancer arsenal

Anomalous Cowturd
Mushroom

Re: "The potential impact might be explosive"

Trust me, it won't be.

An 11.2g bottle of Nitrolingual (R) spray, like I have in my hand, contains 200 doses of 400 microgrammes. 200 x 0.0004 = 0.08g of nitro per bottle. About 0.72% by weight.

Barely enough to blow your nose...

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What would you give to create Vulture Sweat?

Anomalous Cowturd
Holmes

Re: "Vulture Sweat"... is that anything like "Pokari Sweat"

Let's hope not. That stuff tastes like crap!

I'll try most things twice, just in case, but not that shit.

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Nippy, palaver and cockwomble: Greatest words in English?

Anomalous Cowturd
Happy

Re: Insults

Once worked on a site that had a labourer dubbed "two sticks" short of a bundle.

Lovely bloke, but thick as pig-shit.

I can't even remember his real name, but his nickname always tickled me.

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Anomalous Cowturd
Thumb Up

Flaphammock wins my vote!

Marvellous.

I'm stealing ^W borrowing that one.

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Ring Chime: Needy wireless doorbell or $30 bling t'ing?

Anomalous Cowturd
Flame

Re: Signs can be beneficial...

Yesterday, a braindead courier of the Yodel variety managed to not deliver a package to me, despite a detailed description of how to find me, and two phone numbers to call if they couldn't...

Luckily, the solicitor's office that received it could read, and rang me.

Yodel? Burn them with fire!

5
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Hillary's sysadmin left VNC, RDP exposed to the internet - report

Anomalous Cowturd
Joke

Re: I have a device in the bathroom...

So do I, but mine keeps complaining "one at a time please."

I think there's something wrong with it.

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A thousand mile Atom merci mission: Driving from Monaco to London in an open-topped motor

Anomalous Cowturd
Facepalm

Re: The bloody flies (and other airborne thingies)

Gotta agree with that sentiment.

I copped a big fat Bumble bee in the face back in my motorcycling days. Nearly had me off my bike, and gave me a beautiful "shiner" for a week. Furry little bastard!

Perfect icon for the occasion...

5
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A krayshee sexy Dutch post-pub nosh neckfiller: Stamppot

Anomalous Cowturd
Joke

Re: Main Photo-RORSCHACH Test!

Looks like a butterfly to me.

So do all the others, mind...

1
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Anomalous Cowturd
Windows

Needs frying to crispy goodness, and a fried egg on top!

And HP sauce...

2
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Jeremy Corbyn: My part in his glorious socialist triumph

Anomalous Cowturd
Thumb Up

Best Bong hit ever!

Thanks Sir Steve.

I too nearly choked on my Ginster's.

1
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As McAfee runs for US President – we ask a crucial question: Will Reg readers back him?

Anomalous Cowturd
Holmes

Donald has a bald spot? Where?

Oh, I see.

Between his ears...

1
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Jeremy Corbyn wins Labour leadership election

Anomalous Cowturd
Happy

Re: Whatever happened to UKIP?

They changed their name to Douglas Carswell M.P.

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Manchester fuzz 'truly sorry' for 'accidentally' hacking phone of whistleblower cop's girlf

Anomalous Cowturd
Pint

Re: The # key adjacent to the 1

I sit corrected Sir. Perhaps I should have said "Not on any phone I've ever owned."

Have a beer.

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Anomalous Cowturd
WTF?

The # key adjacent to the 1

Not on any phone I've ever seen...

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The Honor's a defo gamechanger, but good luck buying one

Anomalous Cowturd
Unhappy

Re: They've staked a claim on my money...

This news just in...

Dear Customer,

Thank you for your recent interest, and subsequent order placed with vMall, for the much anticipated Honor 7.

Honor appreciates your custom and is committed to providing you with up to date product delivery information. To avoid you having to contact our customer service team, here is the latest update on your pre-order.

Due to unprecedented interest in the new highly anticipated Honor 7, all pre-ordered devices are expected to be fulfilled between 2-3 weeks. There is no action required from you, our team will keep you updated, and aim to despatch your Honor 7 as soon as stock becomes available.

Thank you for your patience. If you have any further questions, please do not hesitate to contact our customer service team by calling us on our customer service numbers found here.

Sincerely,

Your vMall Team.

support-uk@vmall.eu

But I want it NOW! (Sad face)

0
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Anomalous Cowturd
Holmes

They've staked a claim on my money...

I checked my "online payments" account and it shows a £210 discrepancy between the balance and cash available, although my account status on their website still shows as "not processed".

I'm hoping to hear from them tomorrow as to expected delivery date.

I'll report back here. If I haven't heard anything by the end of the week, I may go for a Wileyfox Storm instead.

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Honor 7 – heir apparent to the mid-range Android crown

Anomalous Cowturd
Thumb Up

Thanks Andrew.

Never thought I'd type that in a post on here. ;o)

I've just put my name down for a "Mystery Grey" one. No mention of expected delivery dates, but with an option to cancel before despatch.

They're still showing a £40 discount until the end of the month, so £210 including delivery.

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French woman gets €800 a month for electromagnetic-field 'disability'

Anomalous Cowturd
Boffin

Re: There's a special place for people like that...

Dynamo hum?

;o)

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