* Posts by tony2heads

1115 posts • joined 1 Apr 2010

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White House sicko sent down for 20 years after sexting underage girls

tony2heads
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Surely he should know the old phrase

“Welcome to the internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents.”

As a defence he should claim that he knew it was not a 14 year old girl, but a cop.

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Dell BIOS update borks PCs

tony2heads
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So to get zero stars

Wipe out the entire human race and turn planet earth to a blackened cinder?

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Bloke charged under UK terror law for refusing to cough up passwords

tony2heads
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Coat

Outside the local Cop Shop

Did he get the flowers and board games there?

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Unpaid tech contractor: 'I have to support my family. I have no money for medicines'

tony2heads
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New Icon please

I suggest this before, but I want a 'Scumbag Corporation' icon (perhaps the Scumbag Steve hat)

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How would you pronounce 'Cyxtera'?

tony2heads
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Re: Cyst -Era or Cist-Era

On reflection I think my first suggestion is the better

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tony2heads
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Cyst -Era or Cist-Era

An age of pust-filled sacks, of the time of ancient coffins

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Mastercard launches card that replaces PIN with fingerprint sensor

tony2heads
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Problem

How about thieves making fingerprints from photos of your hand or any item you have touched when making a purchase?

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Back to the future: Honda's new electric car can go an incredible 80 miles!

tony2heads
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80 miles

That would be aiming at the little old lady going to the shops.

Considering the age distribution in the Japanese population, that might be a viable market.

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Broadband providers almost double prices after deals end

tony2heads
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Unhappy

Re: upto..Xmbps

translate 'up to' to 'no more than'. It never means anything else.

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Customer satisfaction is our highest priority… OK, maybe second-highest… or third...

tony2heads
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I remember this one; what ever were they trying to get me to do?

Error 503 Service Unavailable

Service Unavailable

Guru Meditation:

XID: 1521634984

Varnish cache server

I had a small pot of varnish in the shed, but could not find the cache server anywhere on the board.

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Device spend will rise 2% to $600bn in 2017, say techno-seers

tony2heads
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Re: Ah yes - Gartner

Gartner forecasts are less reliable than Old Moore's Almanac

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Wet, wild Mars stripped off by hot young star, left barren and red faced

tony2heads
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Boffin

Re: iron-nickel core

Doesn't have to be iron-nickel to get a magnetic field.

The huge magnetosphere of Jupiter (about 20,000 times stronger than earth's) is probably generated from liquid metallic hydrogen (under the high pressure in the core)

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Robo-AI jobs doomsday may, er... not actually happen, say boffins

tony2heads
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Re: How about the jobs that those robots create ?

I think you mean a Butlerian Jihad.

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Microsoft wants screaming Windows fans, not just users

tony2heads
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Wrong picture

If I think of screaming windows users, the image I get is like the picture by Edvard Munch

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Trump's America looks like a lousy launchpad, so can you dig Darwin?

tony2heads
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Why not Equador

As far as launch sites go, why not Ecuador:

- on the equator

- plenty of high ground (=less air to go through)

- has petrochemical industry

- US $ as currency

also note: Chimborazo is the furthest point on the earth's surface from the centre of the earth (not Everest , because of the equatorial bulge)

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I've Been Moved: IBMers in same division slapped with 2nd redundo scheme in 2 months

tony2heads
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Operation Baccarat

Sounding more like Russian Roulette for IBMers. If you were spared the first time, there is the next chamber ready

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DNA-bothering eggheads brew beer you were literally born to like

tony2heads
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Alien

Hitchikers guide to the galaxy

sounds like the Nutri-matic

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Good news, everyone! Two pints a day keep heart problems at bay

tony2heads
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Pint

I believe this has been known for a while

A reading from 1 Timothy 5 verse 23:

"Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake and thy frequent infirmities."

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Microsoft loves Linux so much, its OneDrive web app runs like a dog on Windows OS rivals

tony2heads
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Linux

For those who want to know

Here is a simple How to

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TRAPPIST-1's planets are quiet. Quiet as the grave, in fact

tony2heads
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Re: Ahah! Not so fast Mr Scientist

Yes indeed, I can think of several fools who "know" that climate change is a conspiracy.

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That 'Trump lawyers threaten teen over kitten website' yarn is Fakey Fakey McFake Fakeface

tony2heads
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@Oengus

but how will my wife play bridge online?

By the way:

has anyone thought of setting up a website selling TRUMPery TRUMPets from TRUMPington?

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Softcat purrs as customers buy early to dodge Microsoft hikes

tony2heads
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@AC

I have heard of people resurrecting old dumped computers with some versions of linux

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Google borks its Drive Windows app – after pushing out unfinished buggy version to public

tony2heads
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Re: What to use?

https://github.com/Grive/grive

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This ONE easy cloud trick is in DANGER. Why?

tony2heads
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Re: layer 4...

Thankss for the tip

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Road accident nuisance callers fined £270,000 for being absolute sh*tbags

tony2heads
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Scumbag corporation

I suggested that EL Reg institute a prize every year for outstanding scumabaggery ; These guys should be in there with a real chance.

Suggested prizes:

- Scumbag Steve hat.

- sieve for leakiest website

- tin of insecticide spray for buggiest software

- piece of string for insecurity in software. However, if Adobe is the winner, I believe straw would be more appropriate for strengthening mud-based constructions.

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Mars orbiter FLOORS IT to avoid hitting MOON

tony2heads
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Re: CAPS LOCK

@smudge

Welcome Mr Apollo

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Uber: Please don't give our London drivers English tests. You can work out the reason why

tony2heads
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Re: Please do this TfL. @MyffyW

If any taxi driver addressed me as 'darling' or 'princess' I would be out of the cab instantly, as his eyesight would have to be failing.

I have never heard ANYONE addressed as 'treacle'.

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Oh happy day! Linus Torvalds has given the world Linux 4.10

tony2heads
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Re: Missing icon for "you should be sooo glad this is a text rather than audio medium"

Cue the Edwin Hawkins Singers in ecstatic chorus

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Baby supernova spotted, just three hours old and a real cutie

tony2heads
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Mushroom

Re: The watched star...

I think that Eta Carinae will blow up before Betelgeuse.

Icon: supernova!!

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Nul points for Ukraine's Eurovision ticket site fail

tony2heads
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WTF?

This MUST be fake news

The very idea that somebody would pay to go to the Eurovision song contest!

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Talk of tech innovation is bullsh*t. Shut up and get the work done – says Linus Torvalds

tony2heads
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Coat

Re: Or, in the vernacular ...

You always get the highest score for No Trumps

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Japanese team unveils terahertz band 100 Gbps wireless tech

tony2heads
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Boffin

Re: Naive question

There is a very strong water absorption line just above 300GHz, so I a sceptical about its use anywhere foggy.

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Vizio coughs up $2.2m after its smart TVs spied on millions of families

tony2heads
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Re: Becoming "standard practice"

I thought that it was 'Arnaud Amalric'

See wikipedia

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US government agency pops 16 years of solar weather data online

tony2heads
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Joke

Space weather

Everyone knows that's a Chinese Communist myth!!!

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Why don't you all just f-f-f-fade away, Kaspersky asks generation SocMed

tony2heads
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Joke

Who needs it?

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Here's how the missile-free Royal Navy can sink enemy ships after 2018

tony2heads
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Re: lack of stealth ?!

Hannah Reitsch

BTW my father-in-law was Telegraphist Air Gunner in Swordfishes. They were trying to avoid a German fighter which was MUCH faster, so the pilot took them down to street level in a Norwegian town where they could turn through side streets, but their pursuer could not as he would stall at that speed.

I have heard that the Swordfish's stall speed was about 50mph

Would love to hear from any Norwegians to confirm the tale.

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AI vuln-hunter bots have seen things you people wouldn't believe

tony2heads
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formally verified microkernel and verified communications software

When we we see these on consumer systems?

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Super-cool sysadmin fixes PCs with gravity, or his fists

tony2heads
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Alert

Percussive maintenance

is a skill every tech guy should have

Icon: isn't that a baseball bat?

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LG's $1,300 5K monitor foiled by Wi-Fi: Screens go blank near hotspots

tony2heads
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Boffin

Re: YMMV

The problem maybe caused by something that is not supposed to be there, like some harmonic or intermodulation product in the RF signal.

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Solaris continuous upgrades have already begun, says Oracle

tony2heads
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Picture is the wrong way round

Clearly it should be rotated by 90 deg clockwise.

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Make America, wait, what again? US Army may need foreign weapons to keep up

tony2heads
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Re: Military-industrial 101

Don't forget the Poles, who did the earliest work on cracking Enigma (before they were invaded)

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tony2heads
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Translations

'Fuchs' in German means 'Fox' in English

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Cisco's WebEx Chrome plugin will execute evil code, install malware via secret 'magic URL'

tony2heads
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Re: An Adobe Wannbe?

Crap movies have The Razzies

Why not have an award for appealingly buggy software?

I suggest that El Reg is the right place to host it; what do you think?

Suggested topics could include:

Most Insecure software

Phone producers with the most bloatware

Corporation with most leaks

Corporation with most spyware

Website with crappiest interface

Website with most offensive/in-your-face adware

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Revealed: How Nvidia's 'backseat driver' AI learned to read lips

tony2heads
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Re: Old news

I have the opposite phenomenon; they seem to be driven by non-artificial stupidity.

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Tech moguls dominate Oxfam's rich people Hateful 8

tony2heads
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Re: Hands up if you've got debts

There are loads of people in first world countries with negative wealth, like students with massive loans to repay, people stuck with negative-equity houses....

The truly poorest are usually the ones without enough income to get a loan.

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Father of Android II: A Hardware Comeback

tony2heads
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FAIL

connector

Not ANOTHER proprietary connector !!!

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Oh ALIS, don't keep us waiting: F-35 jet's software 'delayed'

tony2heads
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Vista

We're going to die!

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Crumbs. Exceedingly good cakes, meat dressing price hike in wake of the Brexit

tony2heads
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Pirate

Have a Brexit

Your new diet alternative to full-fat EU!

Icon: this guy has been eating only Brexit foods!

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Microsoft's Blue Screen of Death dead in latest Windows 10 preview

tony2heads
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@AMBxx

Bile green would be best (to represent the anger of the user)

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Stop us if you've heard this one before: Seamen spread over California

tony2heads
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Re: Hrm...

zerg swarm

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