* Posts by perlcat

540 posts • joined 13 Mar 2010

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Citrix drops Rush Limbaugh over 'slutgate' slurs

perlcat

Re: What's surprising me...

Rush was wrong in calling her a prostitute. She never took in money to support her sexual escapades. However, she did ask for others to support it. She just threw all of society into the 'friend zone' -- we get to pay for it and hear about it, but are not invited to participate.

Given that she testified in front of Congress that she had enough sex that it cost her $3,000 for birth control, and that apparently, none of her partners had enough of a relationship with her that she could ask (or make) them go at least halfsies on it to defray the costs, the term 'slut' seems perfectly applicable here. This, especially in that the pills she is talking about cost $10 to $12 a month in the States at a Planned Parenthood clinic. We're still trying to figure out how one spends 3 Large on birth control a year without hiring a proxy to have the sex for you. It wouldn't cost her much more to get the tubes tied. If she started a kickstart for it, I'd gladly kick in a few.

Personally, I think she belongs on Jerry Springer's show. Can just see the teaser for that episode: "Next on Springer: She sleeps with so many strangers, she's going broke on birth control!" Just throw in a few toothless cousins and you've accomplished the 'Lesbian Hillbilly Incest' trifecta.

The PH icon is too good for her. PH may be game for many, many romps in the sack, but at least she doesn't expect me to pay for it.

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Election hacked, drunken robot elected to school board

perlcat

Re: Nice Going!

Exactly. From the looks of it, I don't think they'd spot unusual server activity if it jumped up and bit them on the ass.

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Asteroid could SMASH INTO EARTH in 2040

perlcat
Coat

Re: Damage

I had thought that it Rama would hit in South America, killing pack animals and causing church bells to ring. A regular Rama llama ding dong, if you will.

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perlcat
Happy

Re: The most important thing...

That's a very good idea. Wouldn't want to be Bieberless when we need to use him for kinetic deflection.

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IT staffers on ragged edge of burnout and cynicism

perlcat
Trollface

Re: Re: Cor, you think you've got problems..

I think Andus' problem isn't a hot box on the far side of a very skinny pipe -- it's the skinny pipe.

That said, your idea has a lot of merit in a lot of places. No sense in letting bossly CPU cycles go to waste. It doesn't take that much CPU to operate a Freecell server.

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perlcat
Boffin

Re: Cor, you think you've got problems..

For the bandwidth thing, you need to set limits. Take a look at this as just one way to do on the cheap:

http://www.freebsdonline.com/content/view/513/531/

From there, you just need to tune it so that nobody gets to hog the pipe. Your movie watchers will adjust their behavior accordingly.

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perlcat
Black Helicopters

Re: Cor, you think you've got problems..

I feel your pain. Any chance you'll get employment more in your line sometime? Look into zigbee and xbee if you want the crossover between IT and radio.

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perlcat
Black Helicopters

Put your teeth back in, grandpa.

On my days off, I put in 8 hours. When I work, it's more like 12 to 16.

I'm on call 24/7, and have been the sole answerer of those calls for 10+ years.

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perlcat
Devil

I see your problem, grasshopper.

Long ago, I worked for a manager where if you had an open-ended project with too many unknowns to give a realistic timeline, would hammer on you to give a timeline until you gave up in disgust and pulled a number out of your ass. He'd then hammer on you to cut that time in half(!) That's what passes for "wisdom" and "management" anymore. Now, when I pull a number out of my ass for jackasses like that, I multiply by 2**(number of PHB+1). (the +1 because every now and then they add in a layer of management just to add to the insanity.)

Works like a charm. In fact, I now use that for all my projects that get boss-scrutiny. They all look like a bunch of heroes to each other, and I don't have the same level of agony I did back when I was young and thought that I could make a difference.

This would have made your class project on time and on the money with reasonable confidence -- as long as they don't try to throw resources at the project in order to speed it up. However, the 'not increasing resources' business then works for you -- because you ask for funding for the extra resources (same formula, by the way), and get turned down to where you have what you need without the extra cooks spoiling the soup.

What do you mean, "cynical"?

If your HSBC people were honest, they would say "We design in a failure rate of 50% to all our IT projects because we're ignorant twits." In other words, taking their course will get you a 50% fail rate, and what I just told you for free will make 90% of your IT projects work. Who says that reading blogs isn't useful?

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perlcat
Trollface

Re: Why

If I can keep the paintballs in the freezer for a day or so.

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perlcat
Black Helicopters

So angry.

Gotta do something about that hostility.

Remember, there are universal constants everywhere. There are two universal constants at work: politics and bullshit, which can transmutate from one form to the other. They are measured in amperes -- and on a given day, there are at least 20 amps of bullshit running through the corridors of any business in order for it to operate. Where I work, it usually runs at about 60 amps -- but right now, a temporary surge of BS has it up to about 80 amps.

Best you can hope for is to get a golf-obsessed boss who ignores his staff so they can get things done. Their lack of presence is something I highly prize and encourage, and will do whatever I can to get him/her promoted. The singe worst thing you can get is a Type "A" go-getter -- and the best way to get rid of them is to do whatever they ask right up until they paint themselves into a corner -- but don't wait if you can post out to work for the aforementioned golfer. Who knows for whom the ax falls; sometimes it falls for thee.

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perlcat
Trollface

Re: us stressed?

...and I like the bonus game. You know the one -- where, as a member of the company stock option plan, you see the reports and know things are doing great (as in: BEST YEAR EVER), and then your PHB comes to you and tells you how it was a "bad year" last year, and so no bonus for _you_. Then he proceeds to drive off in a new Lexus SUV he paid for with cash during what used to be bonus week.

My revenge is subtle and it is sweet. Every day, arrive at work ten minutes after PHB, with an oil can. Every day, there is a spreading slick of oil/brake fluid/transmission fluid/coolant under said new Lexus. What? Moi? I know nothing of this. Possibly you need to take it to the shop again.

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perlcat
Black Helicopters

We used to call that:

Zombie PTO (Paid Time Off).

When you're out of days off, because you get 5 days a year that can be used for sick or vacation, and so you just sit there at your desk, zombified until you feel better.

I work at a better place now. I get 15 days off for either. With time off for good behavior, I should be done with my sentence in about 8 years. Thank goodness el Reg passes for IT news, so I can code this time to education. Bless your hearts and all your other vital organs, Reg staff.

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Google tramples over Euro data protection law – French watchdog

perlcat
Devil

Don't know why they said "This stuff matters".

Should have said "We own your ass."

More to the point, don't have to read the notice to figure that out.

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Playboy, Virgin Galactic tout zero-grav nookie in spaaaaace!

perlcat
Coat

Looking at it all wrong.

Swallowing now becomes a vital eployment criteria.

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perlcat
Go

Cry me a river

...so somehow, you expect that the culture that is devolving from Playboy to Donahue to Jerry Springer to Survivor to Paris Hilton to the Kardashians will suddenly stop being a freak show in order to go to space?

Hysterical.

Me, I *want* Playboy to go to space for the sheer amusement value of seeing what happens when this gloriously dumb idea that comes from reading too much science fiction during a rough puberty "comes" to fruition. Should be a blast.

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Wang charged in inappropriate electricity socket use

perlcat

Re: Re: Taiwan, Singapore

Mea culpa.

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perlcat
Unhappy

They may be dicks...

...but Taiwan *is* the country that outlawed public gum chewing -- their dick-ness is not only profound, it should be comnmon knowledge to the point where "don't plug that thing in here or you'll pay" should be taken seriously.

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Avoid flying next to blubberbeasts with seatmate-finding site

perlcat
Coat

Re: Misanthropes unite

We'll have a lovely conversation about how we prefer to be left in silence!!

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perlcat
Trollface

...at least you didn't have to resort to overkill

"Have I mentioned that I also sell Amway?"

*This*, my friend, is the way to obtained that level of stunned, fearful silence desired for long naps on international flights.

However, if it backfires and you find that your seatmate actually *deals* Amway, feel free to push them out the cargo door, as that's the only way to get them to shut up.

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CRACK made by quakes FOUND ON MOON

perlcat
Go

...and when it is,

Grab on with both hands and shouty shouty shouty: "I CAN FIND IT WITH BOTH HANDS!!!"

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Squirrelled away: seeds survive 30,000-year winter

perlcat
Coffee/keyboard

@David W.

You had me at "big bonkin' beaver"...

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perlcat
Facepalm

Re: Re: Re: Re: @ Norfolk 'n' Goode

...of *course* it has no place in public schools.

You should learn science, history, technology and things like that in school -- and get your religious training from churches -- if you so desire.

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perlcat
Black Helicopters

Re: Re: @ Norfolk 'n' Goode

Not sure you read the same posting I did.

Poster wasn't advocating or even talking about educating children into creationism. He was describing so-called "good" prejudice being used to justify oppressing people with "wrong" opinions, using known examples of oppression from history to prove a point. That's not "over the top" -- especially when people subsequently mis-cast that into something else because of the repugnance they feel towards the subject.

Maybe you can twist teaching children creationism into child abuse -- but pushing that particular belief system on children pales in comparison to actual child abuse. You're treating creationism as a thought crime -- not just an illogical belief system -- and you don't grok the horror in oppressing people in order to stop it, because you see it as a crime.

Fair disclaimer -- I think creationism is claptrap -- like a lot of creation mythos. Most likely, at the time that it was originally cooked up, it gave a people a sense of identity -- a 'who we are and where we came from' -- that modern archaeology/paleontology/geology handily disproves. A child may not completely understand evolution -- so we explain it in terms they understand, and we are often amused by the wild ways they repeat their understanding among their friends. Why would societies not also have an evolution in thought that progresses from mythology to science? That view isn't even incompatible with religion per se -- there is no reason that a creator would not use his/her/its noodly appendages to write a Book that his/her/its creations could understand, and leave the evidence otherwise out there to be discovered at a later date when they are ready for it.

I cannot justify abusing people for the thoughts in their heads.

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perlcat
Black Helicopters

@ Norfolk 'n' Goode

Actually, "Noah" there has a point about prejudice that we ignore at our peril.

Just because we think that someone else is a nut because of their "wrong" opinion does not give us license to harass them and then pretend moral superiority. If you deplore prejudice, you should deplore *all* prejudice -- or you are not only prejudiced, but also hypocritical. There is no "good" prejudice.

You always have to take care that you do not become that which you deplore.

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IT guy answers daughter's Facebook rant by shooting her laptop

perlcat
Devil

Re: Whether they are

Drama girl needs drama.

Daddy supplies drama.

Wacky hijinks ensue.

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perlcat
Happy

@Zippy

Exactly. If all's I have to do to get free room & board is to do 30 minutes of chores, I'd be there like a shot, with nary a facebook tirade about the unfairness of it all.

As it is, I have to support the woman and the kids -- and I spend a hell of a lot more time than 30 minutes doing that, so I am a little short on sympathy for the little snowflake.

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perlcat
Facepalm

@Matt

Simple transference, I'm afraid. In order to dehumanize other human beings, some find it necessary to take all things they find objectionable, and plaster them on people whose politics they don't like -- or vice-versa. Regardless of fact.

It turns a world of infinite shades of grey into convenient black and white, suitable for hating at leisure.

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perlcat
WTF?

Re: Credibility as an IT tech

A little confused here.

WTH does haberdashery and smoking have to do with technical ability? Is he supposed to wear some sort of uniform to enter the Most Ancient Sacred Society of Geeks? Is he supposed to get a blazer and pin to wear at meetings? Enquiring minds want to know. All the truly competent geeks I knew wear pretty much what they want -- in varying states of repair.

I know plenty of IT people that wear worse. Personally, as long as he isn't a member of the malodorous anorakii geek tribe and I have to work within smelling range, I really don't care. Over the internet, his bits don't stink.

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perlcat
Pint

Squirrels are tasty.

Mmmmm. Fried squirrel.

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perlcat
Pint

Alternate solution:

Get pneumatic nail gun, and nail it to the wall in her bedroom.

Reminds me of that one home improvement show, where they gave the Brit carpenter a yank nailgun that shoots 16d nails. At first, he was all about those pussy yanks that couldn't pound nails. Then he pulled the trigger, the light came on in his eyes, and I could see that they'd created a nail-shooting monster.

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perlcat
Thumb Up

I have a secret weapon for the young man who refuses to "launch"

It's called "Mom".

Enough motherly badgering, and he'll move out just for peace of mind. It also helps him to remain single for a few years to save money, while he enjoys the peace and quiet.

Sometimes I have to stir her up a bit "Aren't you worried that he won't get a nice girlfriend?" or some such.

When the boy's gone, I'll have to get her a puppy or something -- I don't need that kind of attention focused on me. ;-)

Just to mention to Volodya and others -- pleasing to see that other parents care about their kids enough to be parents. Very reassuring.

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perlcat
Thumb Up

@ArmanX

My kids are grown now, but they tell me now that while I seriously cramped their style, they knew that I always had their back -- as scary as I could be when they went wrong, that I could be a lot more scary if someone threatened them.

Mission accomplished.

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perlcat
Trollface

@Jeff & Ty

Me, first, I'd mount her drive in another machine, boot up to knoppix or some such, and dd her drive off. A kid playing that sort of games is rarely so sophisicated/paranoid as to encrypt the drive -- encryption would be more of a reason for suspicion than anything else, and in that case, with time and CPU, all problems can be solved.

Anyway, after that, I'd run DBAN on her drive, and then while she's feverishly trying to rebuild her laptop and recover the conversations/whatever she had, I'd be doing a little analysis of my own to figure out what secrets she has that she wanted to hide from me. Depending on the content, I might be making a phone call to a certain young man, where all's he gets is an anonymous caller ID, and the unmistakeable sound of a round being jacked into the chamber of a shotgun. Nothing else. Just that sound. Let his paranoia do the relationship ending.

As the girl in the OP found out, it isn't wise to piss off a BOFH. Not wise at all. Even un-wiser to do it to a BOFH that possesses firearms and a subtle sense of humour.

In case any of you shrinking violets out there think I'm a baddie for this, well, yes, you're right. I'm my kids' parent, not their friend, and I never have problems with that role, nor with abusing my powers as BOFH in furtherance of protecting my kids from themselves. However, before you fire off your sternly worded letters to the editor, you might want to consider that the main reason a kid in this situation would want to hide stuff is more often than not being in an abusive relationship, where they are *told* not to tell anyone. This is where the knowledge of what is going on that they don't know I have comes in so very handy.

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Teen hacker claims smut site hack

perlcat
Facepalm

Releasing inner Beavis:

"uhuhuhuhuh. You said 'naked security'"

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HELLISH LOVE INFERNO TO SWEEP LONDON

perlcat
Pint

I'm WAAAAAY ahead of you guys.

re: "•Avoid cooking after drinking alcohol."

I just avoid that 'solid food' stage, and presto! No problem!

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Microsoft probes IE8 dll AWOL hell

perlcat
Black Helicopters

Not everybody is thinking here

If you cannot load IE, it is hard to get patches.

Don't know if M$ has taken a wild hair to be reasonable, but I've seen the "screw you, you aren't using IE" when looking for patches enough that I don't even bother going there with Firefox.

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Shark versus shark in Barrier Reef DEATH MATCH

perlcat
Joke

Had me all excited there.

When I read the caption about carpet munching.

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BOFH: The Cloud Committee Calamity

perlcat
Pint

Methinks

That the BOFH will undertake Operation "Parable of the Monkeys".

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perlcat
Devil

Better still.

Block their access to the entertainment/media sites like YouTube and internet radio.

Then give them the speed they asked for.

Then watch them try to weasel around, in order to justify access to these sites, which were what they wanted in the first place.

8 Mb total free space? No, you have 4 Mb free. Ha!

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perlcat
FAIL

@ "That guy"

There's always "that guy" out there on the internet, and he thinks that *he* is the ultimate critic of all things, and that a writer doing their best to come up with fresh content just isn't up to snuff.

Just so you know, Mr. "Sole Arbiter of Taste on the Internet": We're not at all interested in your negativity. Simon does a a hell of a job coming up with fresh content that is still recognizable as BOFH material. If you don't like it, don't read it, and quit your bitching. If you're so damned smart, come up with your own and post it online, just so you can endure the pleasures of asshats bellyaching about a free read.

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Royal astro-boffin to MPs: Stop thinking about headlines

perlcat
Facepalm

I, for one,

welcome the Rise of the Machines

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perlcat
Black Helicopters

Compulsory voting scares the hell out of me

When you force everybody to vote, you get decisions made by the most easily manipulated and the ones that just don't give a damn. I have a hard time believing that our problems will be solved by slick politicians with nice hair, sponsored by deep pockets that know how to game it so they are the ones that benefit.

What the world needs is fewer idiots. Not sure how that will work, though.

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Life-size Portal gun to shoot onto shelves soon

perlcat
Coat

Meh. Old tech.

Prior art developed and exploited by B. Bunny and W. E. Coyote in the fifties.

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Ancient cave girl genome could crack Man's genetic puzzle

perlcat
Devil

No, he's not

...and Voltaire never said that.

It was a statement that summed up his philosophy -- and later attributed to him.

Even wikipedia says so, so it must be true.

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Spacemen urge NASA to build nuke ship for Mars trip

perlcat
Black Helicopters

There's a problem with Malthus' idea

The total carrying capacity of earth, population-wise has nothing to do with why people are unhappy with the current population growth. If yo want to sum it up, when population grows, we find the changes made to feed them result in changes to the earth and previously uninhabited areas that we do not like.

We're nowhere near population saturation. We have not even begun to exploit all food sources. When we run out of plankton to eat, or CHON-burgers, then it might be an issue. Any words to the contrary are just histrionics. However, the changes we've already made have been unsettling enough to generate a reaction, and justifiably so. If population growth means that we render an excessive number of species extinct (I wouldn't mind if mosquitoes went extinct) and that we turn treasured environments and habitats into cultivated space, we as a species lose a lot of things that we should come to regret.

We, of course, should be better stewards of this particular planet. The development of interplanetary resources is the single best way to do this without also putting restrictions on people that won't be followed, or that are counter productive. For example, if intelligent people are concerned about population growth, and forbear having children in order to do their part, then the earth will eventually be overpopulated by the slightly dense that just "didn't get the memo". They were probably watching some trashy reality show at the time and couldn't be bothered...

Even in circumstances where legislation forces the population as a whole to reduce itself, cultural issues arise to confound the best-laid plans. "One Family, One Child" turns into "One Family, One Boy, now that he's 18, where are the girls?"

On a positive note, the people lamenting the loss of the old-growth forest in the US should know that there is more forestation in the US than there was in pre-Columbian times.

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Chilli crab scoffing boffins build anti-cancer claw robot

perlcat
Pint

@Graham

No tit for tat for you, then.

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Dead gamer sat unnoticed for nine hours in net cafe

perlcat
Black Helicopters

@ Local Group

Shhhh. Don't want management to see this and get ideas.

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perlcat
Joke

Join the United Appeal for the dead!!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kXl8LyD_JA

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Boffins crack superconducting graphene's melting mystery

perlcat
Pint

These problems need the *right* minds working on them

Throwing the money at this in hopes of having a faster result falls under the classic assumption that if one woman can crank out a baby in 9 months, then 9 women can do it in one.

Hoisting a glass to having the right minds working on it.

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