* Posts by JimmyPage

2181 posts • joined 5 Mar 2010

Nul points: PM May's post-Brexit EU immigration options

JimmyPage
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Re:So poor people have less of a say in economic decisions?

Whilst that sounds iniquitous, it's worth bearing in mind this germ of wisdom, as it explains exactly the problem we are in ...

"A democracy cannot exist as a permanent system of government, but only until such time as the majority of the population realised they can vote themselves the largesse of the public purse".

Go figure.

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JimmyPage
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FAIL

I still have my great grandfathers axe

My grandfather changed the head, and my Dad changed the handle ...

seems an appropriate saying

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HSBC: How will we verify business banking customers? Selfies!

JimmyPage
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Is there a liveness check ?

Just a note that Androids "unlock with fizzog" feature had a "require live" check (which needed the eyes to blink) to avoid being fooled with a photo.

So if HSBC don't offer it (which wouldn't surprise me), it's a fair question what the fuck they have been paying themselves for over the years.

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These are not just job cuts, these are M&S job cuts

JimmyPage
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Re:You should have asked for that in writing.

Why ?

Once I had decided I had no more use for M&S, why waste another second of my precious time ?

This is the problem a lot of soon-to-be-out-of-business retailers have completely missed or forgotten. Which is that when an alternative is available, pissed off customers will just go there, rather than engage with you. It's one reason why any customer services department worth its salt will be concerned if complaints drop below a certain level, as it would suggest customers are walking, rather than complaining.

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JimmyPage
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FAIL

Suggest the next in sequence ...

Woolies, Comet, BHS, M&S ?

it's only investor inertia which has kept a lot of old-school retailers alive when faced with the competition of the internet.

My wife and |I gave up years ago with "shopping". Even if we did find something we liked (which is more and more unlikely when ever store is selling the same tat as every other store) there's the added challenge of finding it in the right size, only to be told to "look on our website" ...

Last thing we bought from M&S was a lightweight coat. After 3 weeks a button cracked. I went to return it, and to my amazement the assistant made a big show of digging out the spare buttons, and wafting them under my nose. They then made a big point that buttons were not covered by the warranty, and that they would only replace the item because it was "less than a month".

Unusually for me, the sharp tongue stayed silent, but only because I knew I would never buy anything from M&S again. Which is a shame, as they were one of the few shops my Mum (who could sew and make clothes) trusted.

We are entering an age where you can *only* buy the same shit, no matter which retailer you choose. Unless you use the internet.

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Childcare app bods wipe users' data – then discover backups had been borked for a year

JimmyPage
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Facepalm

Sueballs at dawn ?

Given it's axiomatic the service was sold to "protect your precious data", how are Orbit going to manage to now claim it had "no value" when the courts get involved ?

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Got to dash out for some rubber johnnies? Amazon has a button for that

JimmyPage
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Boffin

Pizeo ?

The IoT light switches I have seen demoed by IBM were pizeo driven - no need for batteries.

Now *that* is a stonkingly good use of IoT. Imagine being able to fit a light switch irrespective of where the wires run.

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JimmyPage
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This isn't for our generation

it's for the next.

And for all the scoffing here, people will probably be grateful for innovations like this in 10, 20 years time.

It seems (some) tech firms have finally realised the truth about the army being perfectly equipped to fight the last war, and are looking to prepare themselves for the next one ....

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Height of stupidity: Heathrow airliner buzzed by drone at 7,000ft

JimmyPage
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Re: Cue loads of people saying...

I certainly wouldn't say that.

Having seen what happens to a Rolls Royce Trent when a goose is fed into the intake, I cannot begin to imagine what something as unsquidgy as a drone would do.

And as suggested previously, the worst case would be a fully laden 747/Airbus crashing into a densely populated suburb - even if it is just Hounslow.

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JimmyPage
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Easily solved ...

pass a law (aren't we lucky we live in a country where we are constantly (and lately) told how parliament is supreme) which makes the manufacturers and sales agents responsible for any loss of life thanks to their drones.

Not fair, nor proportionate, but you can bet your life all of a sudden these won't be available to Barry from accounts anymore.

I'm not a big fan of the hysterical "something must be done" school of action. But in this case, the idea of a "Lockerbie plus" incident fills me with dread. Especially as the incident is most likely going to happen on ascent/descent - in other words over a heavily populated area.

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JimmyPage
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Am I wrong in thinking that if ..

one of these bastards gets sucked into the engine then we are looking at a catastrophe ?

I despair of UK law sometimes - AFAIAC we start with 20 years in jail - I don't care if nobody was hurt, because the full phrase ends with "this time".

Perhaps, instead of spunking millions on police action to catch name calling on Twitter, we could have some real protection from the police.

Oh, and I will make a separate suggestion in another post which would instantly solve the issue.

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Stop lights, sunsets, junctions are tough work for Google's robo-cars

JimmyPage
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And now streetview makes more sense

I am sure that Google will use streetview to help automated navigation easier .... compare what you are seeing with what Google has previously analysed to be the edges and features to fix on, and the differences are where you need to apply processing power.

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JimmyPage
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Boffin

Re:how well they cope with cyclists

The easiest - and cheapest - solution to that is to not allow the two to mix in the first place.

In the same way any sane person would never mix bikes and cars in the same space.

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JimmyPage
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Re: Under streets ?

Have you not seen the Chinese bus/tram which runs *over* streets

http://www.citylab.com/tech/2016/05/can-chinas-futuristic-straddling-bus-finally-become-a-reality/483953/

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JimmyPage
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So ? Humans can mis-see things too.

Even delivering a system which drives a car with the same performance as a regular human would result in some subpar decisions.

What %age are we going to accept. Clearly not 100. 110% ? 120% ?

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Top facial recognition algo joins the dots and sees pretend people

JimmyPage
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Like the self driving cars story yesterday - we need to be BETTER than humans

Humans also make mistakes in recognition - we are pre-programmed to seek out familiar shapes in randomness which is why people have car accidents when they "think" they saw a person, or animal where there was a shadow on the road.

Seems people are finally realising that it's not good enough to *replicate* human abilities.

We need to *exceed* them.

By quite a margin it would seem.

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Vidahost hikes domain name fees by a third, blames Brexit

JimmyPage
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Unhappy

Brexit, VAT, decimalisation, removal of pound note,

reasons to charge more ... 1,2,3

exchange rate too high,

exchange rate too low,

interest rates not changing,

interest rates changing,

barbecue summer,

wash out summer,

mild winter,

snowpocalypse,

terror attacks,

no terror attacks

is a pattern emerging ?

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Honor 8: Huawei targets millennials with high-spec cheapie. 3 words – Food pic mode

JimmyPage
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Re: Network SIM lock and EE/Orange

The crowning turd was trying to get a £5 Alcatel from "Orange" to work with an EE SIM. Even though they are the SAME NETWORK the twunts at EE wanted £35 to unlock the thing.

THAT is why it's never again for me. And if I ever have to recommend a corporate deal, EE are not getting a seat at the table. However, corporate deals are starting to look old hat as BYOD spreads. Over the past 3 years we have seen our corporate deal halve making it a vicious circle ... less usage means less attractive deal means less corporate deals.

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JimmyPage
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already 2 checks ahead of the competition ...

after a situation last year where despite having 12 phones which powered up, not one could be used because of network locks) I vowed to never have a network sold phone again.

Quite aside from the network locking is the SHITE they bundle with the phone you can't dump (I *still* don't want a Facebook app).

Hence I am happily rocking a Wileyfox Swift - brilliant device. Not locked. No shit.

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DVLA misses out on £400m in tax after scrapping paper discs

JimmyPage
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FAIL

Could never move the tax to fuel ...

If you remove the requirement for a car to be taxed, then the roads will fill up overnight with old bangers being kept for "spares". It's bad enough as it is now.

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JimmyPage
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Pokemon go..

true .... if the Great British public put 1/100th the effort they put into Pokemon Go ....

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JimmyPage
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This should be one of the easiest taxes to collect ...

Untaxed vehicle drives past ANPR camera. Local enforcement wardens are notified. Car located. Towed and impounded. Only returned after tax and fine are paid (no cheques).

Car is sold at auction after 4 weeks otherwise.

Simples.

So *why* in the name of all that is holy is there so much hand-wringing.

In other news, police to "patrol" Facebook and Twitter with jail sentences for people who say nasty things.

(p.s. if you are caught using a smartphone driving ... see the first paragraph of this post).

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iPhone: Apple's Mac battle with Windows rebooted

JimmyPage
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Mushroom

Mac bollocks

Mac lost the war because IBM deliberately made the PC specs open, so other manufacturers could deliver cheaper versions. For those of us who lived through it, we went from the first true IBM PC in late '82 to a world awash with clones in 1986 - four years being lightning speed for the 80s.

IBM then realised they had lost lots of money, so the PS/2 (micro-channel architecture) was licensed. Mysteriously very few manufacturers paid for the privilege, and PS/2 (and OS/2, which was a shame) slowly died.

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Adblock Plus chalk talk takes stock: Facebook's gonna block our block of their block of our block? Let's rock

JimmyPage
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Facebook may stop being a site ...

And only be available via their app. Their app. Their rules ...

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English Uber alles in London taxis? No way, TfL – taxi app titan

JimmyPage
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anyway, all this is moot

Driverless/autonomous cars will - eventually - make most private motoring obsolete, and travelling by car a JohnnyCab experience.

Hence HS2 and any other big travel infrastructure plans being a little bit moot too.

Given how we seem to have slipped back in some respects (look at what the late Victorians had, compared to us) I predict that in 100 years time, the concept of private car ownership will seem as quaint as we find horse and carriage today - and as restricted to the elite as owning a horse and carriage was too.

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JimmyPage
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Unhappy

How about a taxi Universal Service Obligation ?

because otherwise I can see black cabs disappearing and all there will be is Uber good luck with accessibility as drivers refuse to take wheelchairs and guide dogs ....

Yes there are laws against discrimination, which - in the grand scheme of things - are useless.

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Ad-blocking ‘plateaus’, claims hopeful ad industry

JimmyPage
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Re: Some Daily Mail content wont work,

So no real downside then ?

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Microsoft to overhaul Windows 10 UI – with a 3D Holographic Shell

JimmyPage
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Boffin

Assistive technology ... again

In these forums I have already cast the runes ... the next few years of tech development is all going to converge on being able to allow older homo sapiens to continue to use the shiny they find invaluable.

From self driving cars, Siri, and VR headsets ....

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Christians Against Poverty pleads for forgiveness over data breach

JimmyPage
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just to answer myself ,,,

it's almost axiomatic that an organisation that suffers a data breach will also be an organisation for whom encryption at rest is something "other people do".

Also, just for clarity: A password protected Excel spreadsheet is not - and will never be "encrypted".

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JimmyPage
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It's unclear whether the exposed data was encrypted or not

I think it's *very* clear. Like the data, in fact.

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Tim Cook's answer to crashing iPhone sales: More iPhones

JimmyPage
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Re: Going out on a limb here ...

Oh, and to backup my own theory, Siri is part of that assistive technology package.

Yes we may all have a jolly good laugh now. But in 10 years time, I guarantee a lot more (older) people will be finding it invaluable.

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JimmyPage
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Mushroom

Going out on a limb here ...

I called an end to PC sales back in 2012. So far I have been right.

I am now calling an end to smartphone sales.

Of course they will be made - and sold. But it should be blindingly obvious to anyone (who isn't trying to flog their consultancy - looking at you Gartner) that

1) everyone who wants one has one

2) any sales from this point on are

2.1) - replacements

2.2) - first handsets for newer users.

Beyond that, any *growth* will come - and only come - when the next Smartphone offers something the current crop don't.

Now that will happen - I remain convinced that the next area for innovation and development will be assistive technologies. Not because manufacturers have suddenly felt sorry for the less-able (who are still scum as far as the market goes), but because the early fanbois of the 2000s will be approaching 70 very soon, and the market can't risk them giving up the shiny because of fading eyesight, hearing, and co-ordination.

When that happens, we'll have the sales upsurge.

Here's another prediction. Any iPhone 7 will only show development in areas which can be built upon by adaptive technology.

If I am ever called on to back up my assertion about the lack of interest in the less-able, just google "Talkback bluetooth" and see the lack of coherent hits for what *should* be the blind/partially sighted persons saviour.

Unsure of what icon to use, but I'm now pretty pissed off.

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Blighty's 24-hr Universal Credit outage caused by upgrade glitch

JimmyPage
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Coat

so ....

were both recipients affected ?

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£1m military drone crashed in Wales after crew disabled anti-crash systems – report

JimmyPage
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Facepalm

The shape of things to come ...

Many years ago, I recall reading that one of the problems with automation was the insistence of "experts" that they "could do a better job". I'm pretty certain that this resulted in at least one system with a "manual override" that did nothing apart from power a light which said "manual override".

The recent Tesla crash, and future shape of driverless cars are in the mix here.

And a more recent - but very real - phenomenon is the rise of the "I know best in the face of OVERWHELMING evidence to the contrary". (In a recent interview, the comedian Nish Kumar was accused of saying something in a show at the Comedy Store. Apparently the Comedy Store records all performers, and Nish was able to *prove* he did not say what he was accused of. To which the guy complaining said "I know what I know" - i.e. fuck facts).

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$67M in bitcoin stolen as hacking typhoon lashes Hong Kong's Bitfinex

JimmyPage
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Confused ... a little.

Surely the only way to "steal" BitCoins is to insert a record in the blockchain which effectively transfers from an account which *has* BTC into another account ?

So is the case here, that the exchange was holding the necessary crypto keys which were accessed by the hackers ?

Is there not a mechanism to reverse the transactions ? Is it not possible to lock the receiving accounts.

Was any of this thought about when BTC was devised ?

Are other virtual currencies at risk ?

The more I read about BTC, the more I am convinced it really was one guy alone. There's too many holes for a committee to have come up with it.

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Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

JimmyPage
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and the tea was

Earl Grey, wasn't it ?

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Russian spy aircraft are flying over Britain – and the MoD's cool with it

JimmyPage
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Vaguely reminds me of the US-USSR space deal

whereby civilian astronauts were protected from charges of spying if they came down in "enemy|" territory.

Stories like this always give me hope ...

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O2 customer DATA GRAB: Not-a-hack creds for sale on dark web

JimmyPage
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LastPass*

Job done.

*Other password managers are available.

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Ofcom: Legal separation will force Openreach to eat more fibre

JimmyPage
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Facepalm

Oh, FFS

20 - yes TWENTY - years ago a friend bought a house so new, the pavement hadn't been laid, and the road was rubble.

having had fibre (Videotron) for 3 years at that point, I naturally assumed the cable company would be around before the road was finished, spend a couple of hours dropping a conduit in, and save a fortune on civils. He said it was the first thing he thought of, but they weren't interested.

As of today, still no fibre.

Location ? Greater London.

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Washed out summer? Fear ye not: DVDs for DevOps droogs

JimmyPage
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Boffin

Soul of a new machine

would be ripe for this sort of treatment ...

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Florida Man cleared of money laundering after selling Bitcoins to Agent Ponzi

JimmyPage
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Meh

what crime(s) is the jeweller committing?

in English/Welsh law the answer would be centred around "reasonable belief" - or more precisely the prosecutions success in convincing the jury the jeweller should have had "reasonable belief" that the transaction was in furtherance of a crime.

Generally, I am not a fan of laws which make me my brothers keeper.

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Glassdoor spaffs users' email addresses in bcc fail

JimmyPage
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Facepalm

Q:Why aren't they using proper mailshot software if they do regular newsletters?

A:££££££££ (or rather lack of willingness to spend).

On the plus side, there's clearly an opening at Glassdoor.com for someone with a clue.

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Guess who gets hit hard by IR35 tax clampdown? Yep, IT contractors

JimmyPage
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Boffin

Of course another approach

is to simplify the tax system and remove the distinction between NI and tax.

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40 years ago today the US govt sent a taxpayer-funded robot to invade an alien hostile world

JimmyPage
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Alternative 3 (and Capricorn One)

What I remember was a brilliantly executed UK TV programme called "Alternative 3". Billed as a "documentary" it followed a story about scientists involved in the Mars mission going missing and ended with a "classified" film clip that showed something scuttling under the Martian surface when Viking landed.

I was 11 at the time, so thought it was real ....

And the fact and fiction loosely danced in "CapricornOne"

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HMRC research finds 'resistance' to proposals to shift contractor tax compliance burden

JimmyPage
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IR35 - As I recall ..

was introduced to prevent exactly what was happening when I worked for a GEC company in 1998-2000.

Employee would resign on Friday, and then turn up on Monday doing exactly the same job, but as a "contractor". With an appropriate bump in salary as they then paid themselves in dividends.

It was discussed in great detail on this very site - I recall quite a few people threatening to fuck off to the US if it came to pass. I guess we really missed their like.

From what I recall the IR35 tests were quite sensible at separating employees from genuine contractors supplied by a genuine company. The key one being "substitutability" (?). If your contract with the company allows you to send "a resource" then they are probably genuine. If, for any reason the contract is for a particular person, then it's probably bogus.

Or to put it another way the last 3 building jobs I have had done were done by a bunch of lads who I had no say over - I sorted it with the gaffer, and he chose the resources.

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JimmyPage
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Joke

Re: Yes Minister

Does anyone remember the episode of Yes Minister where the hapless Hacker (:)) had to take delivery of a petition as minister, which he had organised when in opposition. Of course in power, he had no intention of honouring it ...

Bernard: What shall I do with it minister, file it, or arrange secure disposal

Hacker: Just get rid of it, I never want to see it again !

Bernard: In that case I'll file it minister.

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GMB tests Uber 'self-employed drivers' claim at London tribunal

JimmyPage
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FAIL

Missing the point

It has nothing to do with minimum wage, and everything to do with the relationship between Uber and it's drivers.

If an Uber driver can also work for Lyft, et al then great. The driver really is self-employed.

However, I suspect that somehow Uber will prevent Uber drivers from doing this - making the driver an employee and therefore protected (for now) by employment legislation.

Calling employees "self-employed" is a well-known (especially to HMRC) trick to allow companies to shirk their responsibilities. It's also defrauding the revenue .....

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Governments Googling Google about you more than ever says Google

JimmyPage
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Of course what is a "criminal"

except what a government says it is.

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JimmyPage
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Come on El Reg !

Meaningless figures, unless presented per capita :

Nation per 100,000 population

UK 10.2027338350

USA 7.5666886751

Australia 9.6913142322

India 0.4915938691

Canada 0.2793490238

I suggest a very good way to try to curb the UKs slurpophilia, is to change the headline:

UK MOST RISKY COUNTRY IN WORLD NEW STATISTICS SHOW.

Alternatively, I would suggest that volume of slurping has nothing to do with security and law and order. The US figures seem bear me out.

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ASUS first Asian PC maker to warn of price hikes... in 2.5 months

JimmyPage
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The Brexiteers were

morons.

Fixed that for you.

I imagine no one is going to read this, what with the news of the rest of Europe (forget the rest of the world for now) all fighting with each other to offer us deals.

What's that you say ? They're not ? How odd, Nige and Boris assured us they would.

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