* Posts by David 132

1115 posts • joined 1 Mar 2010

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Well Holby damned! We've caught a virus: Brit medical soap operas team up for 'cyber' episode

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

and spelt out 'Subscribe to Pewdiepie' with the patients intestines.

Ah, the old “your name in lights” joke.

Don’t forget the colon, although if the patient has a colostomy bag it’ll be a semi-colon.

(On a related note, if Casualty 1900s had a storyline about “that time of the month”, would that make it a Period Drama?)

Sussex rap fan wants statue of Easy-E from NWA in his hometown because he's a 'legend'

David 132 Silver badge
Coffee/keyboard

I did a double-take at the mural photo

I had to squint at the accompanying photo of the Easy-E mural - at first, I thought his hat read "Complan".

Which would be somewhat incongruous.

US counterintelligence agent helped Iran lob cyber-bombs at America, say Uncle Sam's lawyers

David 132 Silver badge

To quote Mrs Merton seems relevant here...

“What first attracted you to the multi-millionaire Paul Daniels?”

Oh Snapd! Gimme-root-now security bug lets miscreants sock it to your Ubuntu boxes

David 132 Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: snapd and systemd

I run Mint Linux on a few boxes, and realized the other day that their software repository only has version 2.2.1 of VLC, which is ancient. To get the latest 3.0.4, I had to download it as a Snap... I’d never heard of those so had to do some hasty research. When I read that Snaps come from the ever-prolific Lennart Poettering (the B.S. Johnson of the Linux world) my heart sank, but I downloaded the Snap anyway because I needed VLC and had no apparent choice.

Imagine my delight when it also downloaded ~2GB of support files - basically, a complete OS - just to run a f*cking media player.

That man is a menace.

(Copious upvotes and my eternal gratitude to anyone who can point me towards a way to get VLC 3.x on Mint without snaps...)

OK, Google. Music in 2019 isn't what it was, but Play nice, will ya?

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Thankfully, the bug won't play our (UK) Eurovision entry.

Ahem. ABBA. Waterloo.

Which either refutes or confirms your point, depending on personal taste.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Thankfully, the bug won't play our (UK) Eurovision entry.

Honestly, I feel like you can copy and paste this comment every year from now until the end of time.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: All the best music was written before 1988 anyway

Indeed. RIP John Peel.

And of course, 1978 was the year that the Undertones went mainstream (thanks to JP).

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: All the best music was written before 1988 anyway

I think you mean “before END OF 1988”.

Wouldn’t want to exclude The Traveling Wilburys, now would we?

WeWork restructuring bites El Reg hacks where it hurts as afternoon brew delayed

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Don't worry dishes...

For some reason I read that in the voice of Neil from The Young Ones.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: You guys had mugs?

Time traveller from 1643 here.

What Ys thys infernal thynge before me ande whyfore doest it shine lyken unto thee Sunne?

London's Met police confess: We made just one successful collar in latest facial recog trial

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Facts - we've heard of them...

”There's a man with an eye on political office”

His name certainly lends itself to slogans... “Cut out the bollocks, Vote Balhatchet”

I won't bother hunting and reporting more Sony zero-days, because all I'd get is a lousy t-shirt

David 132 Silver badge

Re: This story makes no sense...

Bill Gray

Darn it. Now you’ve made me all crochety.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: “Do you have this bean lard mulch with vitamins?”

@ CAPS LOCK

It was a subtle attempt at a Don Hertzfeld reference. Now I feel Rejected.

David 132 Silver badge
Coat

Re: This story makes no sense...

Switched fabric, of course.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: The shirts can be trouble.

I once did an event for my company where the uniform they gave us for the day was a bright orange polo shirt. I made the mistake, on my way home, of stopping at Sainsbury’s to grab some groceries. What is (or was at the time, I’ve not been in there in years) their corporate colour? Yes.

I got asked by so many people for help finding things (“Do you have this bean lard mulch with vitamins?” “Do you have smaller spoons?”). If I were in a bad mood I could have caused so much damage to their customer service reputation that day...

Not cool, man: Dixons spanked over discount on luxury 'smart' fridge with wildly fluctuating price

David 132 Silver badge
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Re: Ultra HD Fridge

The problem with a high-resolution fridge is that all the food comes out a bit plane.

David 132 Silver badge
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Re: You would have thought ...

Icy what you did there.

Senior slippery sex stimulator sales exec sacked for shafting .org-asmic cyber-space place, a tribunal hears

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Well, still an idiot

OTOH, isn’t the .org TLD intended for non-profit organizations and charities? I certainly wouldn’t expect to find a personal lubricants business in that namespace, unless they were nobly crusading to ease the chafed naughty bits of the world’s poor.

Crypto exchange in court: It owes $190m to netizens after founder 'dies without telling anyone vault passwords'

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Has anyone tried....

“swordfish”. It’s always “swordfish”.

Techies tinker with toilet-topper to turn it into ticker-tracker

David 132 Silver badge

Re: His / Hers / Other

Anonymous Coward, you are fined one half-credit for a violation of the verbal morality statute...

David 132 Silver badge
Trollface

Tech support?

If you have a problem using this, will technical support ask to see the logs?

El Reg talks to PornHub sister biz AgeID – and an indie pornographer – about age verification

David 132 Silver badge

Re: This Identity thing is the key

Dr Dan Holdsworth: nice one UK Law-makers; you made a situation much, much worse through your actions.

To be honest though, I feel this sentence could be considered as standard boilerplate to be appended to any and all articles about UK government/politicians.

Ca-caw-caw: Pigeon poops on tot's face as tempers fray at siege of Lincoln flats

David 132 Silver badge

Bicarbonate of soda (baking powder). Far more effective, and quick.

Are you a Windows 1 in 10 (1809)? Or a mighty 80 percenter (1803)?

David 132 Silver badge
Windows

I feel like I deserve bragging rights, or perhaps sympathy, not sure which.

I have a device that - despite my best efforts - is still stuck on 1511. It's only a testbed/play device so I don't particularly care, but it amuses me that it repeatedly tries to update to 1803 and then the oh-so-informative "Something went wrong. Retry?" loop.

And trust me, using 1511 compared to 1803 is rather like using Windows 8 compared to 8.1 - both are execrable nightmares of "F*** you, users" but at least the latter is pretending to go in the right direction.

'Nun' drops goat head on pavement outside Cheltenham 'Spoons

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Alternative interpretation

Lucky it wasn't my old local down in Chelsea: "The Goat in Boots". That'd've been a bugger to get into a duffel bag, kicking and bleating and lashing out with hobnails.

I'd have interpreted that one as encouragement to release the aforementioned goat in my nearest high-street pharmacy, but maybe that's just me. Would certainly liven up the queue at the eye-tests counter.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Alternative interpretation

I can't stand these capri-corny puns!

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Scrapegoat off the pavement, more like.

David 132 Silver badge
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No need to be fauning.

That's narnia damn business.

David 132 Silver badge
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Re: Alternative interpretation

Damn government interfering with our right to drop goat's heads on the pavement. It's the nanny state at work again.

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?

David 132 Silver badge
Mushroom

Re: I can believe it!

Try dealing with the US healthcare system some time. To submit a claim for reimbursement: the provider invoice has to be faxed to the insurance company’s claims receiving dept. Who then re-fax it internally to their claims evaluation dept. who then decide that it’s illegible, and print out a copy of the fax^2, which gets mailed back to you.

(And ironically, the printed copy of the fax^2 is still perfectly readable to anyone with semi-functional eyeballs). Allow 30 days for this process; repeat, try again. Email is apparently far too advanced for them.

Bear that in mind next time you’re cursing the users who print their emailed PDFs.

Tens to be disappointed as Windows 10 Mobile death date set: Doomed phone OS won't see 2020

David 132 Silver badge
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Lorin Thwaits ”Those with icons remain solidly in the game!”

Well, it’s worked for the Eastern Orthodox Church for a thousand years or so...

Cyber-insurance shock: Zurich refuses to foot NotPetya ransomware clean-up bill – and claims it's 'an act of war'

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Eh, it’s Mondelez.

@MyffyW oh, I agree with you. I personally like Cadbury’s - or did, prior to Mondelez’ dicking around with the recipe.

I was trying to be even-handed...had I sung its praises without qualification, I foresaw that I’d set off a chorus of “but Cadbury’s is dog chocolate, you should try $expensive_belgian_brand instead”.

David 132 Silver badge

Eh, it’s Mondelez.

They bought Cadbury’s, then immediately moved jobs offshore and changed the distinctive chocolate recipe (note to any Swiss/Belgian/French chocolate snobs reading this: there are worse formulations than Cadbury’s, believe it or not). They deserve everything they get.

Peak Apple: This time it's SERIOUS, Tim

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Not quite

Per Blackadder, Nelson’s actual signal was:

“England knows Lady Hamilton is a virgin. Poke my eye out and cut off my arm if I’m wrong.”

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Nonplussed

Pedantic on the internet? Without permission???

How dare you, sir. That is against all precedent. I am telling the IETF, the FCC and also the UN on you.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Apple FAIL

However, iPhones/Macs are not - whatever Tim Cook thinks - Veblen goods.

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Is Woz available?

Well, yes and no. I have a lot of respect for Woz, but he's an engineer, not a salesman. Jobs was a PT Barnum, yes, but he knew what would sell (at this point the probably-apocryphal story comes to mind about Henry Ford saying "If I'd asked my customers what they wanted, I'd have ended up breeding a faster horse".)

A company like Apple needs a leader who's part businessman ("what will make money?"), part engineer ("what is possible?"), and part showman ("what will people desire?"). Woz isn't that mix, and Cook certainly isn't.

There's an SMBC web-comic from a few years ago that for me, kind of summarizes what an Apple led by Woz would be like: http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2012-05-01

Oracle's in-house lawyer denied access to Uncle Sam's procurement docs in JEDI legal battle

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Interesting

Larry Ellison’s name might not be “sue”, but his instinct certainly is.

The D in SystemD stands for Dammmit... Security holes found in much-adored Linux toolkit

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Much-adored Linux toolkit...

Calm down, I suspect that there may be some sarcasm in the title and sub-heading.

David 132 Silver badge
FAIL

Re: Never trusted SystemD

Today it’s the journaling subsystem; I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before we’re reading of issues in the USB driver module of systemd, or the spreadsheet module, or the video-editing module.

And to think we used to joke about feature creep in Emacs.

Killer superbugs in space... are something astronauts on orbiting science lab don't have to worry about right now

David 132 Silver badge
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“Let’s learn about another Alien Sex Disease.

This man had se with a Glyconthian Octopoid.

Let’s look at his genitals...”

https://youtu.be/2y_nACag-Oc

Senator Wyden goes ballistic after US telcos caught selling people's location data yet again

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Oh the Irony!

Youngone ”I do take your point FozzyBear but where I come from, lying to Parliament (or in a select committee is an imprisonable offence.”

...but not, apparently, failing to close your parentheses. And you were doing so well up till then.

Jeep hacking lawsuit shifts into gear for trial after US Supremes refuse to hit the brakes

David 132 Silver badge
FAIL

If FCA are going to be sued for anything...

...it should be their counterintuitive and utterly needless redesign of the standard gear shifter.

Just ask the Star Trek actor Anton Yelchin. Oh wait, you can't. Ask his next of kin then.

Excuse me, sir. You can't store your things there. Those 7 gigabytes are reserved for Windows 10

David 132 Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: For shame!

Pffft, boot Amiga Workbench off an 880KB floppy and have room for pr0n in glorious 256 (I think?) color IFF HAM mode. Mutter mutter, uphill both ways in the snow, jumpers for goalposts, mumble mumble etc

(Yes, I know this is technically cheating because a lot of the Amiga OS was held in ROM. I will never let facts get in the way of a good off-topic ramble.)

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: WinSXS

"Elegantly Wasted Drive Space"

LA Times knocked out, HackerOne slips up and – amazingly – router security still sucks

David 132 Silver badge

Re: Something's fishy

Um, that was the joke. Maybe I should have been less subtle.

David 132 Silver badge
Happy

Re: Something's fishy

the odds of that person being attacked by candiru are "(a)bout the same as being struck by lightning while simultaneously being eaten by a shark."

You insensitive bastard, that happened to my wife and sister only last week.

Fortunately, she survived.

London Gatwick Airport reopens but drone chaos perps still not found

David 132 Silver badge
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Re: Just a thought

jezmck I always went with “multicopter”

Well, it’s Right Over Flight Lanes, so.... ROFLcopter?

London's Gatwick airport suspends all flights after 'multiple' reports of drones

David 132 Silver badge
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Re: Something doesn't fly right with this story

katrinab ”They are too busy arguing about whether or not Corbyn said that May is a stupid woman to do anything like that today, and they are off on holiday tonight.”

As someone said in a letter to the Telegraph today: “First time Corbyn’s ever said anything I agree with - and then he goes and denies it...”

Astroboffins spy a rare exoplanet evaporating before their eyes

David 132 Silver badge
Boffin

100,000 sheep per shecond, shurely?

10 sheep per ton

10,000 tons a second

= 100,000 sheep.

Now if you’ll excuse me, all this sheep counting... Zzzzzzzz.....

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