* Posts by David 132

966 posts • joined 1 Mar 2010

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Braking news: Tesla preps firmware fling to 'fix' Model 3's inability to stop in time

David 132
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I thought this thread would attract a better caliper of comment...

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David 132
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Re: "Tesla won’t stop until Model 3 has better braking"

Yeah, I just think a car with brakes is retarded.

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Your parents love you, Cortana. That's why we bought you an upgrade

David 132
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Happy

Re: Annabelle the Sheep

If you want a sheep with personality, it has to be Flossie - just ask Lord Melchett.

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David 132
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Re: Rejoice, rejoice!

@AC - don't be mean to "JJ Carter", who is after all just another AI experiment from Microsoft:

IF ($article-text.contains("Microsoft"))

{

post_reply ("thank you for this two-minutes hate")

/* TODO: can't get this next line to work properly, right now it segfaults every time */

/* post_reply ($well-reasoned-argument-carefully-and-eloquently-rebutting-the-article) */

}

Apparently, we're supposed to see Microsoft as the Emmanuel Goldstein de nos jours.

JJC is less annoying than Cortana, but only just.

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How many ways can a PDF mess up your PC? 47 in this Adobe update alone

David 132
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Meh

Upvoted, although "engaging with PDF as a file format in a disturbingly intimate manner" raises all sorts of very uncomfortable questions. Are French letters involved?

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Hacking train Wi-Fi may expose passenger data and control systems

David 132
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Joke

Re: Routers, Routers, Routers

Justin Case >>I recall stories of proposals in the early days of mobile for just that since they had a huge wired commas network for trackside

Imagine if someone hacked that. What an apostrophe!

That would certainly give a period of chaos and would be a dire critical situation.

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UK.gov expects auto auto software updates won't involve users

David 132
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Boffin

Re: you mean just like windows 10

@Boothy (Would have been nicer if MS gave the option to use a separate drive for the Windows.old backup).

Wandering off the topic of this thread, and really just thinking aloud... I wonder if you could manually create a C:\Windows.old folder and mount another (empty) NTFS partition into it - thereby tricking Windows Update? i.e. instead of assigning a drive letter to drive D:, just mount it into c:\windows.old?

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New Monty Python movie to turn old jokes into new royalties

David 132
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Headmaster

ROMANES EUNT DOMUS

(Pedantic grammar nazi icon for obvious reasons)

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David 132
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Happy

I object to all this sex on the TV.

...I keep falling off.

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David 132
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Re: Don't forget the other two holy words

Semprini?

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AI crisis: Sony reports shortage of cute robot puppies!

David 132
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Re: I assume the seal is not for all markets

Too expensive for Canadians. Still, if they club together...

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High-Optane thrills for 3D XPoint wanna-haves: Intel fattens gaming SSDs

David 132
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Happy

Re: Only 4?

How much more black could it be?

None. None more black.

...So we've added blue LEDs instead.

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North will remain North for now, say geo-magnetic boffins

David 132
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Re: Just a coincidence

Is it just me, or does "Milankovich 41K" sound like a really crappy Soviet-bloc 8bit computer?

Never mind. As you were.

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Windows 10 April 2018 Update lands today... ish

David 132
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Re: "Keep clicking, Windows-lovers! It's bound to come along soon."

AC ”Not only have MS already dog fooded it internally...”

AC, you may or may not be a Microsoft shill, but I’m happy to see that we’re in agreement.

Well, except that I think the other end of the dog is involved.

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Apple's magical quality engineering strikes again: You may want to hold off that macOS High Sierra update...

David 132
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Re: No issues here

For what it's worth, no issues here either - happily running 10.13.4 on a mid-2011 iMac (6 years old! Still perfectly useable! can't get my head around that...) and an Intel NUC5i5MYHE Hackintosh. No, I'm not disputing that some people out there are having problems, but let's be clear that it's not affecting everyone.

Re the warning-about-deprecated-32bit-apps thing... amusingly, System Report->Applications reports that half the non-compliant applications on my machines are from Apple themselves. And I don't mean in the sense of ancient-versions-of-Keynote-or-iTunes... it's kernel tasks & background daemons that are still 32-bit.

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Oracle demands dev tear down iOS app that has 'JavaScript' in its name

David 132
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Don't mention Javascript.

...I almost mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it all right.

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Windows 10 Spring Creators Update team explains the hold-up: You little BSOD!

David 132
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Re: Looks like the bunch of imbeciles a.k.a Windows Insiders are at it again!

"Service" in the livestock-breeding sense, one assumes.

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Tried checking under the sofa? Indian BTC exchange Coinsecure finds itself $3.5m lighter

David 132
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Thumb Up

Oh, bravo, sir/madam. That made me chuckle.

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David 132
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Pint

Re: Who's been using one of those funny CPUs?

@diodesign

Yes, I see something very wrong, but I'm not going to send an email because, instead, public chastisement is called for. By your own admission you're in the pub, yet you're still responding to commentards. It is an insult to good beer to neglect it while you fiddle with your phone/laptop. If my wife were there she'd smack your hands and confiscate your phone. Now get on with that pint.

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Using Outlook? You should probably do some patching

David 132
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Facepalm

Dan 55 Haven't they changed that message to "Hey there! We're not responding right now, but we'll be responding again right back at ya real soon now!" in the later versions?

Great, just what we need, mail client applications with Genuine People Personalities™...

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B-Ark passengers to control most IT spend from 2019 onwards

David 132
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Re: Not quite correct.

Michael Habel Stick it up your Nose!

And then... “Go Stick Your Head In A Pig”

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David 132
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Not quite correct.

'... in which a race called the "Golgafrinchams" needed to move to another planet. They put their smart and productive people onto two space arks. A third ark, the "B-Ark" was home to " telephone sanitisers,...'

Simon, you hoopy frood, you...

I think it was pretty well implied in the book (and radio show/TV show/souvenir tea-towel, what a shame they never made a movie SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP) that there never were other arks, and it was just a cunning ploy by the Golgafrinchans to get rid of part of their population. As I recall, the Golgafrinchans subsequently perished from an infectious disease spread via dirty telephone handsets.

But that's not important. The really important question is: what colour should this invention "The Wheel" be?

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GCHQ boss calls out Russia for 'industrial scale disinformation'

David 132
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Re: From the department of bleeding obvious

AC "...Question No 2: Is any of these who temporarily qualifies as an enemy of my enemy really our friend."

Grr, I hate hearing this expression. The enemy of my enemy is my ally, at most, and even then only temporarily.

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Which? leads decrepit email service behind barn, single shot rings out over valley

David 132
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I'm surprised it's that popular we stopped being a pagan country hundreds of years ago.

Yeah, and they didn’t even provide a migration wizard.

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Symantec cert holdout sites told: Those Google Chrome warnings are not a good look

David 132
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Re: That Chrome error message is dangerously misleading.

@Christoph Possibly it's the generic warning they show for all non-valid certificates

I'm sure you're right - that's almost certainly what it is. But my point is that it's misleading. There's a world of difference between "this cert is not valid" and "this cert was considered valid until a week ago, but we no longer trust the issuer because they've been kind of a dick"!

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David 132
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That Chrome error message is dangerously misleading.

The error message shown in the article - “Attackers might be trying to steal your information” is not just wrong, it’s dangerously misleading and I think Google should be ashamed.

A more honest error message would be “This site is being vouched for by someone who’s no longer trustworthy”, or some riff on that theme.

Equating “we no longer trust this cert” with “this cert is a forgery and this site is up to no good” is going to backfire. Users will phone the RAC/Natwest etc, be told “yeah, don’t worry, it’s just Chrome, there’s nothing unsafe about our site” and...next time they see a (genuine) phishing alert, will pooh-pooh it.

Yes, I understand that users don’t read error messages/warnings, and that those messages must be kept simple. But that can be harmful.

Am I the only one who has this concern?

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Programming languages can be hard to grasp for non-English speakers. Step forward, Bato: A Ruby port for Filipinos

David 132
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Re: APL

I was about to suggest Perl or Brainfuck... on the basis that they're equally incomprehensible to English speakers. Or maybe what we need is an Esperanto of programming languages, that takes all the "best" bits from other languages (programming and spoken)...

10 VOID MAIN()

20 PRINTF($CMD[1]);

30 ALLEZ AU LIGNE 10

...and so on...

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FBI raids home of spy sat techie over leak of secret comms source code on Facebook

David 132
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Re: Iran issues

Iran is "so far away", according to A Flock of Seagulls...

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BlackBerry Z10 'share-price pump' lawsuit is back from the dead

David 132
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Happy

Wait, what?

"...in several cases, returns are now exceeding sales, a phenomenon we have never seen before..."

"Sir! We've had over 50,000 returns."

"..So?"

"Well, uh, we only sold 30,000 in the first place. And, um, we only made 40,000..."

(cue Twilight Zone music)

Yeah yeah, I know, the quote refers to rate of returns vs. sales, not cumulative quantities, but it was an amusing mental image.

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Private Internet Access VPN opens code-y sarong, starting with Chrome extension

David 132
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Re: Why not openVPN?

Credas Their Android client is easy to use (unlike their woeful Linux effort),

Out of interest, why do you say that? I have their Linux client on my Mint-running NAS box, and honestly it seems to be pretty good. Right-click the system tray icon, select preferred tunnel, boom, job done & it's connected. I've not had any reliabilty issues and the UI seems perfectly adequate.

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Brit retailer Currys PC World says sorry for Know How scam

David 132
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Re: Bought laptop from Dell online - pre-configured with Linux

AC Who the fuck shops at PC World?!

Guilty as charged, m'lud, but in mitigation: only when no compelling alternative presents itself. On my increasingly rare visits back to the UK I will occasionally drop in on old friends who live near Portsmouth. I do tech support for them. What alternative is there to PC World when you need to get a new laptop/NAS box/external HDD on a Sunday, and you're only going to be there for 5 hours?

For less urgent stuff, of course, I've been steering them towards Scan or Amazon for years.

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David 132
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Re: Sharp Practice

@Halfmad - thank you, and an upvote, purely for the Proustian rush of reminiscence you've just given me, about the happy times I spent with my succession of Amigas - back when computing was fun. Still remember my A500 with great fondness, and the thrill I felt when I finally was able to get a 4000/030 (a whole 25MHz! if I recall correctly, which I probably don't). Must get my A1200 out of storage soon for old times' sake.

Now, back I go to wrestling with Windows 10 and its incessant insistence on updating me to a version I neither need nor want. Grrrrr.

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Privacy folk raise alarm over schools snooping on kids' online habits

David 132
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Re: Much easier to get a robot ...

Very posh - in bog standard comps the circulating mags were the likes of Fiesta, Escort, Knave (better include one that was not a Ford car model) etc

Aaah, that's where I went wrong. As a confused 8-year-old I misunderstood things, and spent my time browsing Ford car brochures.

To this day I'm partial to a good Probe. Haven't got to the stage of going after Kugas yet though.

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Stock trader gets two years in prison for pumping up with Fitbit

David 132
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Happy

Re: Darwin Award?

Yeah, in the spectrum of criminality this seems to be on a par with "hand-forging 1p pieces" in terms of effort:risk:reward ratio (as in "I've spent WEEKS on it, but am proud to say I now have a perfect facsimile of a 1penny piece, so good that it'll fool anyone, muhahahaha".)

Any other examples of ill-conceived crime?

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Toyota to flog 10,000 aaS wagons to Avis Budget rentals

David 132
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Facepalm

Re: Hello Mr Corfield!

Insurance companies give no claims credit, why not rental companies?

Oh sweet, precious child. Treasure your innocence.

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Jupiter has the craziest storms seen yet, say boffins

David 132
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Re: Not the Eye of Sauron....

Beat me to it. May you be banished to the wastelands of Penhill.

But have an upvote anyway!

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Reg man wraps head in 49-inch curved monitor

David 132
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Re: Still only 1080 Vertical

Yep, I read that far and lost interest. 1080 is a lower vertical resolution than the CRT monitor I had 20 years ago.

I'm currently lucky enough to be using an Acer 34" curved QHD monitor - at 3440x1440, it has a FAR more useful resolution than the one reviewed here.

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A dog DNA database? You must be barking

David 132
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Re: Waste of money.

Which leads to the question, how would you tell if a turd found on a London street was actually from a werewolf*? And who'd be brave enough to confront the culprit?

I'd certainly want lawyers, guns and money...

*well, apart from the bits of little old lady and chinese food in it, of course

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Bloke sues Microsoft: Give me $600m – or my copy of Windows 7 back

David 132
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Facepalm

Re: Ducks

Lusty You have to click "later" and then "remind me later" EVERY FUCKING DAY on an Apple device.

<sarcasm>

As this is Apple, and everything they make is designed to be user-friendly, there is of course a workaround for this - at least on IOS devices. Simply fill up your device with music/video etc to the point where it can't fit the updated OS image file (usually a GB or two) and that will stop the nagging, which only begins once it's successfully downloaded the image.

See? Simple. It Just Works(TM). Isn't that super.

</sarcasm>

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Until last week, you could pwn KDE Linux desktop with a USB stick

David 132
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Trollface

Re: I'm going to name all my USB sticks:

Along the right lines, but insufficiently evil.

Why not $(rm -rf /) ?

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No sh*t, Sherlock! Bloke suspected of swallowing drug stash keeps colon schtum for 22 DAYS

David 132
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Re: The Assagne option

it's going to be harder in the end

*snigger*

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Tech giants' payouts go to everyone but affected citizens. US Supremes now urged to sort it out

David 132
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Facepalm

Is it really "economically infeasible"?

Sure, mailing out a cheque/check to every one of 129 million people would cost far in excess of 4 cents per person. But that's 19th century thinking (like so much of the legal system, natch)

In this era of online banking how much does it really cost to e-transfer $0.04 to 129 million accounts?

1) build the list of class plaintiffs with their bank account details

2) initiate the transfers

3) ??? e-banking magic happens here, possibly involving underpants gnomes

4) any plaintiffs that don't have bank accounts or care more about the principle than the money, transfer their slice to a charity of their choosing.

I fail to see how that could cost any more than a few tens of thousands at most.

Am I being naïve?

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I see you're writing a résumé?!.. LinkedIn parked in MS Word

David 132
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Happy

AC Lets face it clippy thought I was writing a letter when I was categorising and listing my mp3 collection so I expect this to be equally useless.

Well, fair enough, it's an understandable mistake if you were cataloguing your Beatles tracks...

"Dear Prudence,

I want to tell you,

Another girl,

All you need is love,

And I love her.

Ask me why,

Because.

All my loving,

-Johnny B. Goode.

P.S. I love you."

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When you play this song backwards, you can hear Satan. Play it forwards, and it hijacks Siri, Alexa

David 132
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Happy

Re: Perfect Solution

That dumb joke is deafinitely tasteless and has sent me into a blind rage!

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'The capacitors exploded, showering the lab in flaming confetti'

David 132
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Boffin

Re: A couple of incidents spring to mind

"Like lego with little diagrams of components on the back"

Not one of these, perchance?

Gakken EX-150

I had one myself. Excellent it was.

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David 132
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Headmaster

ectel Sorry Mr. Leggett...

Was that Headingham School?

Those who remember a certain Mr Fisher teaching Physics at the Kings School Chester circa 1990 will be chuckling at this point.

1) Teachers shouldn't fiddle absent-mindedly with large capacitors while teaching,

2) certainly not ones that have been charged from the bench 12v supply,

3) and when the inevitable happens and the fly leads make (loud, sparky, shocky) contact, said teacher should have the presence of mind not to say "FUCK" very loudly in front of 25 wide-eyed, innocent and hitherto uncorrupted boys who had of course NEVER heard such naughty words before or used them.

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Internet giants removing 70 per cent of reported hate speech, crows European Commission

David 132
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Re: Hate speech is...

AC Maybe the hieroglyphs were ancient Egyptian social media, that explains all the cats.

What we think were their deities were actually Ancient Egyptian emoji.

To express Disapproval: Tut, Tut

...Approval: Ra! Ra!

...Scorn: Ptah!

...Amusement: Heh!

...Trolling: How is Babi formed?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go for Apis.

(I'd like to thank the Wikipedia List of Egyptian Deities for allowing me to spin this joke out way past the point it should have ended.)

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America restarts dodgy spying program – just as classified surveillance abuse memo emerges

David 132
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Re: I want off this rock...

"Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me,

as plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee..."

Never mind the Vogons, I'd listen to recitations by the Azgoths of Kria (Grunthos the Flatulent, RIP) if it would get me a lift off this planet.

Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings' stuff, on the other hand... *shudder*

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Have three WINEs this weekend, because WINE 3.0 has landed

David 132
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Re: This

Dunno about more recent stuff, but I found that the previous version of WINE ran (Microsoft Studio's, ironically) Age of Mythology game on Linux better than the game runs under Windows 10 on the same hardware. Yeah, one data point, anecdotal, take it as you will.

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Sad-sack Anon calling himself 'Mr Cunnilingus' online is busted for DDoSing ex-bosses

David 132
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Holmes

Maybe it was one of the several in-theater endings of Clue, but got cut from the DVD release?

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