* Posts by breakfast

1268 posts • joined 24 May 2007

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FCC boss Ajit Pai emits his net neutrality extermination plan

breakfast
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Re: another kind of SEO

This is a genuinely massive story - as far as I'm aware a totally new kind of identity crime. I'm surprised we haven't heard from El Reg on it yet, though I guess they are doing the research to be able to produce something more in-depth when they do a story on it.

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Tesla launches electric truck it guarantees won't break for a million miles

breakfast
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Re: K.E.R.S

So we need to create a Wide Area Network of Kinetic Energy Recovery Systems? Got it.

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'It's back to the drawing board...' Innocent axions found not guilty of dark matter crimes

breakfast
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Re: Axions were not axioms after all...

I mean, they certainly sounded logical.

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MPs slam HMRC's 'deeply worrying' lack of post-Brexit customs system

breakfast
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A lot of these numbers ignore that even if we can afford these extra amounts of money post-Brexit it will be because £350 million will amount to about 4 euros by then.

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Silverlight extinguished while Angular wins fans among developers

breakfast
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Or M?

If my work is anything to go by I think ORM is just a standard thing now for most people, so it may not get separated out from other areas as much as it did. Also with object store type databases, the need to map objects to relational data becomes more limited.

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What employs half a million people, just did $44bn in sales, and rhymes with Azerbaijan?

breakfast
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WTF?

The solution

The answer to the riddle of the headline is: Nothing. Nothing does that. In particular "Amazon" doesn't.

I hear that ale from CAMRA's fun,

And makers of flim-flam are stunned,

Before you put pajamas on

Just put down that hammer, son

I am the one to slam 'er on

And plenty rhymes with Amazon.

In spite of this I have my calm,

Like Alladin why harm

Someone whose rather alarmed

Not one of them is Azerbaijan.

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Boffins trapped antiprotons for days, still can't say why they survived the Big Bang

breakfast
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Re: Simple

"And as the baggage cherub of time tips the packing create of the universe onto the the runway of existence I see that it's time to end the show..."

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Co-op Bank's users moan over online wobbles

breakfast
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Re: Banked with Smile for years

And yet if we use two organisations with basically the same name, it is very hard to avoid some degree of mental conflation - humans simply aren't that rational. If the Co-op electricity constantly do a terrible job and make you feel bad about every interaction with them then the term "co-op" gets tied into that and you start to look for the bad in every other interaction associated with it, in my case that is the banking.

This is the basics of how branding works. It doesn't matter that they are unrelated legally.

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breakfast
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Re: electricity provider

Of course, but there seems to be a pattern of being very poorly run. I mean the co-op bank had a drug crazed nutter of a chief executive for ages, the electricity provider have assured us that the only way to resolve a very simple customer query is to go to the ombudsman and you can go into almost any co-op shop of any size and they will not have the thing you want to buy, regardless of what that thing is.

I like the theory of the co-operative movement, but the practice seems to be inept at a very profound level.

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breakfast
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Re: Banked with Smile for years

Literally still with Smile only out of pure laziness and because it's hard to find a bank that has any positive qualities. Sifting through looking for the least bad option is not great fun, but I increasingly mistrust Co-op with my money, especially after having them as an electricity provider and they are SO BAD.

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El Reg was invited to the House of Lords to burst the AI-pocalypse bubble

breakfast
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Boffin

Re: Neuroscience

It goes deeper than that - the problems of AI are not just about how brains work, they are about the underlying philosophical questions regarding the nature of knowledge and consciousness. Many of the greatest minds of the last three thousand years have explored this and still not got to any definitive answers, so assuming that we can ram a bunch of information into a big database then run some statistical rules across it and come to any useful conclusions is perhaps a trifle optimistic.

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Top of the radio charts: Jodrell Bank goes for UNESCO World Heritage status

breakfast
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And they say public-owned banks are a bad idea.

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UK lotto players quids in: Website knocked offline by DDoS attack

breakfast
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Re: Oh well

I think the odds of winning a EuroMillions jackpot ( and lets face it, we don't really care about the chump change smaller prizes ) are so slim that one probably has as much chance of finding a winning ticket lying in the street as buying one.

In fact I think I'm more likely to be crushed by a meteorite than win that Jackpot, although I bet if either of those happened they would happen on the same day. Typical.

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breakfast
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Unhappy

Oh well

I sometimes feel that no matter how hard I work at it, I'm never going to win the lottery.

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US yanks staff from Cuban embassy over sonic death ray fears

breakfast
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Re: I'd bet my monies on...

Of course the key strategic failing of all the Great Houses on Dune was that they would always attack the most southerly(? I think? It has been almost 20 years .) unit first, so you could put something unimportant at the bottom of the map and build up your troops easily to overwhelm their bases.

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Hubble spies most distant comet zipping through Solar System

breakfast
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Re: Duck!

I aint going Oort like that!

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Twitter to upgrade from micro-blogging to milli-blogging with 280 chars

breakfast
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Re: Why

Because that is exactly the way Trump wants things to be.

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Microsoft: We've made a coding language for a quantum computer that may or may not exist

breakfast
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Boffin

New Term

Quantumware: Software or hardware that manages to both exist ( in research and marketing papers ) and not exist ( in the hands of any actual developers or users ) at the same time.

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Chap tames Slack by piping it into Emacs

breakfast
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Re: EMACS. Is there anything it cannot do?

Philosophically, no. Emacs is a simple pure text editor that allows one to extend it in various directions but is, at heart, easy enough that anybody with the ability to instantly memorise 8000 keystroke sequences could master it in only a couple of decades.

Excel, meanwhile, is really complicated.

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Smart cities? Tell it like it is, they're surveillance cities

breakfast
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Re: citizen infractions of rules can be prevented?

Something that weirds me out is that politicians have a desperate authoritarian hunger for data about all their citizens, but they resentfully reject the outcomes of any research performed on their behalf. How will they react when their systems start giving them the same suggestions that their data scientists have been doing for the last fifty years?

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Dear rioters: Hiding your face with scarves, hats can't fool this AI system

breakfast
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Big Brother

Re: Not forgetting...

Do you mean the cameras in the automated passport control queues where you go in and it fails to scan your face three times then a human customs officer lets you through but it's still worth it because it is quicker than the queue for the regular passport?

Those can't even recognise my face from a photograph of my face. I don't think there's a great risk of them identifying anybody in any kind of disguise.

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China's cybersecurity law grants government 'unprecedented' control over foreign tech

breakfast
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Re: bye bye china

You know who is making the investment in all sorts of parts of the developing world? China.

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Living in space basically shoves a warp drive into your blood stream

breakfast
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Re: This is some really useful medical science

Obligatory reminder of the problems related to this.

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Forget trigonometry, 'cos Babylonians did it better 3,700 years ago – by counting in base 60!

breakfast
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Coat

Would it work for shipbuilding too?

If so, it could constitute... NOAH'S ARC.

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Science fiction great Brian Aldiss, 92, dies at his Oxford home

breakfast
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Re: The Greats have gone

Surprised I have got this far with nobody mentioning Adrian Tchaikovksy's Children Of Time one of the most enjoyable SF novels I have read lately.

Also weird that everyone has apparently forgotten Neal Stephenson - Seveneves is pretty hard sci-fi and a lot of fun with it.

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Defra recruiting 1,400 policy wonks to pick up the pieces after Brexit

breakfast
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Re: Just wondering

I only regret that I have but one like to give.

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breakfast
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Joke

Re: 1400?

The good news is that we have slightly over 18 months to prepare and large public sector IT projects created here have a great record of arriving well ahead of deadline, working well and costing surprisingly little.

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Commentard Quizwall experiment ends with more quizzing than commenting

breakfast
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Re: You call that a quiz?

Ah but if you enable Javascript you will find that false, 0, "", NaN or null will also all mean false.

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breakfast
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This does remind me of the classic NPR April Fools from a couple of years ago.

To be honest it is hard to see much value in most comment sections- 80% of them are simply a habitat for trolls, ideologues and credulous chumps. Not the erudite Register commentards, obviously, we barely break 50%.

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Alien 'lava lamp' with dying magnetic field orbited Earth a billion years ago – science

breakfast
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Mushroom

Re: When is the last time you used yours?

I heard an account of an office where they were used on everyone's desks, activated whenever they broke the build.

I suspect the story was completely spurious, but I rather like the idea because it gives you a brief window of opportunity after your build break to get it fixed before it becomes super obvious...

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Please virtualize my reality before asking me to goggle at a fake one

breakfast
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If your house is that small it's no wonder the conveyancers weren't able to find out much about it.

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Facebook pulls plug on language-inventing chatbots? THE TRUTH

breakfast
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Mushroom

The clear litmus test for futurist bollocks

I assumed this story was overblown future-panic bullshit, but then when it was covered on Radio 4 who should pop up on my radio but Professor Kevin Warwick. No further evidence required.

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'App DDoS bombs' that slam into expensive APIs worry Netflix

breakfast
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Re: Repulsive attraction

And how do they even work? Can we get some first rate science juggalos on this?

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Hackers can turn web-connected car washes into horrible death traps

breakfast
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Trollface

Just invite Fran Healy over.

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Jesus walks away after 7,000lb pipe van incident

breakfast
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Re: Jesus!

They would learn to do that eventually, but until then they would probably get cross.

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JavaScript spec gets strung out on padding

breakfast
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Re: broken by design?

The functional side of Javascript is exactly the thing that makes it powerful and perhaps my favourite part of the language, but functional programming is hard to grasp conceptually, hard to learn and - in my opinion at least - harder to write in a way that is easy for other developers to follow.

Most developers see a language that looks a bit java-like and assume they can write java ( or C or C# ) with it, which is understandable, and then desperately try and squidge the language into their expectations. That makes for cumbersome code that eventually gets the job done and is fairly easy to read.

Of course as you say most people using Javascript aren't programmers at all by training and just keep poking at the code and pasting from StackOverflow until it works.

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Bloke takes over every .io domain by snapping up crucial name servers

breakfast
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Re: Never fucking heard of it

It has some very high profile users - for a long time Old MacDonald hosted his farm at eie.io

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Trump to world: Forget moving to America to do a startup

breakfast
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Re: The Post-US Era... Europe forth place

I bet people regularly express appreciation of your comments.

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DIY music veteran SoundCloud flounders, lays off 40% of staff

breakfast
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I use it for podcasting which you would think would be an ideal revenue stream for them seeing as it necessitates a lot of data and you pretty much have to pay to subscribe ( also true of every other podcast service of course ) but they don't put much effort into supporting it or making positive moves for podcasters and I have certainly heard some horror stories from other podcasters about working with them. If they're going to focus on content creators then offering some podcast support seems like a fair idea.

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Semiconductor-laced bunny eyedrops appear to nuke infections

breakfast
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Re: Control group?

"We're not unreasonable, I mean, no-ones gonna eat your eyes."

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Constant work makes the kilo walk the Planck

breakfast
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Re: Isn't there a risk ...

This is interesting to me in general- how do we know that our constants are constant? I know that the speed of light can very by medium, are there other potential variances that we don't know about because they don't show up in our corner of the universe?

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Civil rights warriors get green light to challenge UK mass surveillance

breakfast
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Re: "crime in the UK is in decline"?

In addition to the police statistics we have the National Crime Survey which is independent and victim reported ( which is why the tabloid headlines about "WHY DOESN'T THE CRIME SURVEY INCLUDE MURDER???!?!?!!!!111" are so ridiculous ) and that seems to concur that crime is on currently reducing - in fact crime seems to have been in decline across the western world and nobody really knows why, hence the questions about leaded petrol etc.

Suffice it to say it's another classic British industry in decline.

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GitHub flub spaffs 8Tracks database, 18 million accounts leaked

breakfast
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WTF?

To me the big question is why the content of the database was ever on Github. Structure, sure, I get that. But the records inside?

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Blunder down under: self-driving Aussie cars still being thwarted by kangaroos

breakfast
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Re: What about wombats

To be fair, cats seldom travel that fast.

At least if you hit a badger your hubcaps can double as a shaving brush for a while.

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Darkness to fall over North America from a total solar eclipse

breakfast
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Re: 'Snot fair

I don't like the idea of a personal eclipse from May. The last thing I want is her moon all over the sun.

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breakfast
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Black Helicopters

Re: Darkness fell over America in November

Practically, kind of a disappointment for everyone else too. Imagine what a wonderful world one could make if all the religious nutjobs suddenly vanished into the sky.

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From landslide to buried alive: Why 2017 election forecasts weren't wrong

breakfast
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Megaphone

Re: So when will the politicians learn?

We have had twenty-five, maybe thirty years of spin-based politics, where marketing crept into election campaigns and became a driving force. But in that period marketing crept into everything else as well and now we have a generation who grew up being marketed at so hard and so constantly by everyone that it is just noise to them. The smart political move now is to have clear convictions that you are willing to stick to and argue for, to be the person you claim to be and to step away from the tired marketing and spin-doctor tropes that have lead our electoral narratives for so long.

It feels like a breath of fresh air to have some actual politics back in our politics, instead of just buffed surfaces and used-car-salesman slickery.

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Two hot Jupiters around two similar stars orbiting at similar distances look similar, right? WRONG

breakfast
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Coat

Re: "Cruel mistress science throws astroboffins a curveball"

A cruel mistress throwing a curveball may also be the most jumbled up metaphor that El Reg subheaders have brought us for some time.

But then again, I suppose they are trying to create a pitcher in words.

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Oil and lube firm offers to ease pains of frustrated office workers

breakfast
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Joke

That reminds me

I used to work at an oil company and we had to deal with some slippery customers.

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Microsoft boosts its AI framework with Cognitive Toolkit 2.0

breakfast
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Coat

More like PARROTY level, amirite????

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