* Posts by Mystic Megabyte

1492 posts • joined 18 Feb 2010

What is DJI Terra? Mystery builds over Chinese biz's trademark

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

Will it run Vista?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-IfnjBHtjHc

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Remember CompuServe forums? They're still around! Also they're about to die

Mystic Megabyte
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Where's the time gone?

I fondly remember getting on the internet with Compuserve. I had a 286 powered greyscale* screen laptop and a modem. The only problem was when I tried to leave Compuserve, they kept saying "well you just emailed us so you are still using our service". I had to tell the bank to stop all payments to them.

*or possibly monochrome with Hercules style dithering, I can't remember.

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MPs slam HMRC's 'deeply worrying' lack of post-Brexit customs system

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

What a disaster

But after the bigly trade deal with Trump all the sub-standard USA food products will just fly through customs with no problems. We are screwed.

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Amazon to make multiple Lord of the Rings prequel TV series

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Running up stairways of falling rocks @phil

Nah, tits and dragons, tits.

Filmed on location on the Paps of Jura.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paps_of_Jura

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Boffins on alert: Brace yourselves for huge gravitational wave coming within a decade

Mystic Megabyte
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whoops!

So how many points do you score in intergalactic bar billiards if you pot one supermassive black hole into another?

None if you knock over the giant black space mushroom :(

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Teensy weensy space shuttle flies and lands

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: Space fighter, or at least a toy for the very rich

Beware of silk scarves and rotating machinery, including wheels.

http://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/dancer-isadora-duncan-is-killed-in-car-accident

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Metal 3D printing at 100 times the speed and a twentieth of the cost

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Possibilities

I wonder if it could print replacement cabinet ministers?

You only need a 2D printer for that.

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Jet packs are REAL – and inventor just broke world speed record in it

Mystic Megabyte
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Meh

Top tip for Richard Browning, wear bright coloured clothing so that your body will more easily be found.

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Brit moron tried buying a car bomb on dark web, posted it to his address. Now he's screwed

Mystic Megabyte
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teenagers

My guess is that he wanted to blow up his parents because they would not lend him their car or date white girls or go to pubs/clubs etc. I'm sure that most teenagers go through a phase of wanting their parents dead at some time or another. Usually the phase passes, in strict households the urge may be stronger.

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Mythbuster seeks cash for roller skates to wear in virtual reality

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

No thanks

That graphic does not show the backpack holding an 80lb. tractor battery to power the stupid shoes.

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Paradise Papers were not an inside job, says leaky offshore law firm

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Welcome to the new order

From the ICIJ site:

https://www.icij.org/investigations/paradise-papers/paradise-papers-exposes-donald-trump-russia-links-and-piggy-banks-of-the-wealthiest-1-percent/

One offshore web leads to Trump’s commerce secretary, private equity tycoon Wilbur Ross, who has a stake in a shipping company that has received more than $68 million in revenue since 2014 from a Russian energy company co-owned by the son-in-law of Russian President Vladimir Putin.

In all, the offshore ties of more than a dozen Trump advisers, Cabinet members and major donors appear in the leaked data.

I think that the GOP may well have made the biggest mistake in their entire history.

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Those IT gadget freebies you picked up this year? They make AWFUL Christmas presents

Mystic Megabyte
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Pint

chilli sambuca

My local pub sells this, being almost luminous green it looks disgusting. But it tastes great, just what's needed on a cold day. I can't remember the brand, it's that good :)

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Facebook, Amazon fund new trans-Pacific submarine cable

Mystic Megabyte
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Slack

I hope that they remember to leave a big loop of slack cable at the Japanese end. Didn't Japan move a metre to the left during the last big earthquake?

Edit: I'm wrong, it moved 2.4m towards North America. That's ruined my image of the plug being pulled out of the wall in Los Angeles :(

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_T%C5%8Dhoku_earthquake_and_tsunami#Geophysical_effects

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Fines for crossing roads while TXTing enacted in Honolulu

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

iPods? Hawaii?

It would be interesting to know how many people have been run down by a big yellow taxi whilst listening to "Big yellow taxi".

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Forget One Windows, Microsoft says it's time to modernize your apps

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Patronising POS

I don't know about Win 10 but what gets my goat is Win 8s patronising dialogues. Things like "We are searching for blah", "We are just setting up blah". FFS it's a computer not a dating site!! I don't want a personal relationship with a fecking computer. How many people are actually inside the box? [A likely MS response would be: Our name is Legion, for we are many]

Remember the little drum and sticks animation in Win 98? That used to drive me crazy when,"Searching for drivers", but I'd rather have that sort of impersonal dialogue back now thank you very much!

While I'm in the middle of a good rant, Cortana, Siri, OKG and Alexa can all feck off as well!

<goes off to cuddle baby rabbits :) >

For the youngsters, here's a link: https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_pX_L3XoAAn8bX.jpg

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Google: We don't have a quantum computer yet, but we have a compiler

Mystic Megabyte
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Boffin

Sorry

$ git clone https://github.com/rigetticomputing/forestopenfermion

: Warning! There is a 50% chance that the code will be DOA. Proceed? (y/n)

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Plants in SPAAAAAAACE are good for you

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Weed

If astronauts grew dope would they become spaced-out?

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You can yacht be serious: Larry might be planning his own version of America’s Cup

Mystic Megabyte
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Joke

Left hand down a bit!

Larry's plans are hard to fathom, he could be full of sheet.

<sorry if that was tackless....OK I'm going now>

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So the 'Year of Linux' never happened. When is it Chrome OS's turn?

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Work on the move

Just buy a low profile stick, they only protrude about 4mm so you can just leave it plugged in.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/New-SanDisk-32GB-Cruzer-Fit-USB-Flash-Drive-Memory-Stick-Pen-Thumb-New-Sealed-/291619932656?hash=item43e5e709f0

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Argh, my loafer just fell down the rope ladder! Yes, I'm in the Microsoft treehouse

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Screw that!

Any arborists around here?

Will screwing bloody great bolts into the trees have any effect on its health? See at: 22sec.

I could not watch it much further, I was going to puke.

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Man prosecuted for posting a picture of his hobby on Facebook

Mystic Megabyte
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Holmes

Fail

A couple of years ago I was involved in a search for a missing fisherman. When his body was found a couple of plods were flown by helicopter from Glasgow to "investigate". Having only been issued with the "Junior Detective Kit" they asked to borrow our camera! We never did get the SD card back :(

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The Google Home Mini: Great, right up until you want to smash it in fury

Mystic Megabyte
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Coat

Last week Google helpfully sent me travel directions to the airports that I had already arrived at. It must have scanned the boarding passes that were on my phone

Due to strange voices coming from my pocket the OK Google function is disabled and I won't be buying any sort of "digital assistant".

My coat is the one that doesn't talk back ============>

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Grant Shapps of coup shame fame stands by 'broadbad' research

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

My up is down :(

I just now ran this command, with such a pathetic upload speed I'm never likely to be using the "cloud".

$ speedtest-cli --simple

Ping: 58.334 ms

Download: 2.96 Mbit/s

Upload: 0.36 Mbit/s

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Rejecting Sonos' private data slurp basically bricks bloke's boombox

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Roll your own

Thanks for that link, it's been bookmarked. I love his retro portable player, I'm going to have to make one of those!

http://www.gerrelt.nl/RaspberryPi/wordpress/portable-retro-squeezelite-player/

P.S. I use an Akai tuner/amp which I bought for £4 in a jumble sale 23 years ago. The tuner's stereo decoder has recently failed but the amp still sounds great.

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In current affairs news: Teen boffin with lots of potential crafts electric honeycombs out of oil

Mystic Megabyte
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Thumb Up

Mpemba

I like to quote the Mpemba effect when someone makes the mistake of using logic (or the lack of it) instead of experimentation. I tried to discuss this with a con-trail conspiracy believer but made little progress :(

So well done Muhammad Shaheer Niazi.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mpemba_effect

Edit: Mpemba was initially mocked for his observation.

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Google touts Babel Fish-esque in-ear real-time translators. And the usual computer stuff

Mystic Megabyte
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Lugholes

Surely I'm not alone in having ears that buds fall out of in less than 10 seconds. I won't be buying any of the products listed in this article.

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Australia approves national database of everyone's mugshots

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

Drongos

My experience of Aussies is that when they're in London they will stay in my house for six months but donate very little towards it's upkeep. When I'm in Oz they don't want to know me. So tough shit Aussies, you've got the government that you deserve.

Disclaimer: I've not yet had a coffee :(

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Here's a gentle guide to building JavaScript AI in web browsers. Totally not a scary thing

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

I held up two fingers and it told me to feck off!

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Rosetta probe's final packets massaged into new snap of Comet 67P

Mystic Megabyte
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Pint

Amazing!

How they worked out all the complicated manoeuvres to get Rosseta there baffles me. Science at its best.

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Thomas the Tank Engine lobotomised by fat (remote) controller

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

ore

I once knew a guy who had worked there. He'd sent back to Europe *by post* a huge amount of iron ore. He wanted to make a wall of the quite decorative ore either side of his fireplace. It's hard to estimate how much but his barn was stacked high with the parcels that he'd sent, maybe 200kg! The cost of posting all that stuff must have been enormous.

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Drunk canoeing no longer driving offence in Canada

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

LOL

While working in Wales* I was told about the holiday influx of clueless boaters who would have to be rescued. The term used for them was "The Birmingham Navy" or "Credit Card Captains".

*It's exactly one Wales size!

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Hubble spies most distant comet zipping through Solar System

Mystic Megabyte
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Alien

Duck!

The question is what dislodged it from the Oort cloud? If were a small wandering black hole then we can expect more comets following at some distance behind it. So sod living in a dome on Mars, I'll take my chances on a planet with an atmosphere.

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Twitter: We also made a shedload of cash from Russia's trolling during US White House race

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

A sad state of affairs

This set me wondering if POTUS has ever done a days physical work in his life. Has he washed the dishes after a meal? Has he ever put his underwear in a washing machine? I somehow doubt that the lazy fat git has even seen a washing machine, that would be in the scullery with the servants.

In case you think that I've had a cushy life here's a few of the back-breaking jobs that I've done:

Making concrete blocks in a quarry

Loading fish on a fish farm

Milking 300 cows every morning (2 people)

Driving a truck delivering gas bottles (solo)

I could go on but that's enough.

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Is this cough cancer, doc? No: it's a case of Playmobil on the lung

Mystic Megabyte
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Hg

My sister once bit the end off a mercury filled thermometer, ISTR a bit of a panic as my parents got her to spit out bits of broken glass etc. It doesn't seemed to have harmed her, she recently retired from her job.

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Don't panic, but.. ALIEN galaxies are slamming Earth with ultra-high-energy cosmic rays

Mystic Megabyte
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Boffin

one, two, many

In elReg units how many hookers would it take to excite Trump to 10^18 eV?

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Microsoft reveals details of flagship London store within spitting distance from Apple's

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Wow!

I can't wait to drive several hundred miles to visit the Microsoft products museum.

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Don’t fear the software shopkeeper: T&Cs banning bad reviews aren’t legal in America

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

I bought a Trump branded MAGA hat and after DNA analysis found it to contain commie bacteria. I'm outraged I tell ya!

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NBD: Adobe just dumped its private PGP key on the internet

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Fail

No Adode crap in this establishment so smug icon please.

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Quebec takes mature approach to 'grilled cheese' ban

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Whey back in time

I used to frequent a pub where they sold cheese toasties with added celery salt. They were yummy! Apparently you can still buy this stuff but I don't know where.

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Sysadmin tells user CSI-style password guessing never w– wait WTF?! It's 'PASSWORD1'!

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

rtfm

I used to keep unimportant passwords in a file called README.TXT on the assumption that nobody is ever going to read it.

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AI slurps, learns millions of passwords to work out which ones you may use next

Mystic Megabyte
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Pint

Re: XKCD @John Robson

For those things I have to type I make a random selection of words (shuf -n 4 /usr/share/dict/words) and concatenate them -

Thanks for that, have a concatenator :)

shuf -n 4 /usr/share/dict/words | paste -sd "\0"

irregularitiesextensionsChippewa'sfancies

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Uber Cali goes ballistic, calls online ads bogus: These million-dollar banners are something quite atrocious

Mystic Megabyte
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Joke

Re: The internet seems broken today

"I read the article twice and I could not find the part where Uber execs drowned a bag full of puppies, "

They would never do that, the puppies are locked into treadmills generating power for Bitcoin mining.

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Giant frikkin' British laser turret to start zapping stuff next year

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Logo

I wonder how much MBDA paid their artistic designer to choose the matching carpet, chair and ropes?

Also, where is the slot to put your shilling in?

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This article has been deleted

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

miaow

Is Grab-N-Go a Trump franchise?

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North Korea attacks Bitcoin bods to swell its war chest says FireEye

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

@AC

I'll trade you 10 of your potatoes for one of my magic beans.

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Boffins' satcomms rig uses earthly LEDs to talk to orbiting PV panels

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Heatsink

It appears that the pictured device is the uplink.

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It's September 2017, and .NET lets PDFs hijack your Windows PC

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Still nope

Two days ago was asked to help someone with a pdf that had been emailed to them from their publisher. They just needed to do some minor edits. They had a brand-new Lenovo laptop running Windows 10. The pdf displayed perfectly in their browser but Microsoft Word could not detect what encoding it had. What looked like a Win 3.1 dialogue box opened, asking whether it was DOS, Albanian or Chinese etc. (none of the options worked, WTF!) Libre Office would open it but the formatting was off and it was almost frozen. (A cunning plan by Microsoft no doubt!)

On my Ubuntu box the pdf opened perfectly in Evince, but still no joy in Libre Office. I used pdffonts to get some info, downloaded and installed the correct font. Now it displayed slightly better in Libre Office so I installed the same font into Win 10. No change, Win 10 is a POS!

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El Reg is hiring an intern. Apply now before it closes

Mystic Megabyte
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Boffin

My first job!

Change bog-rolls

Change light bulbs

Make flasks of coffee and carry them to studios. Then clean up mess of spilt sugar/milk/cigarette butts etc.

Go to Fortnum and Masons to get client sandwiches.

Walk to Chinatown at 3a.m. to get a dozen takeaways. (very dodgy in those days due to junkies/vagabonds)

Deliver tapes to clients (2" tapes are heavy!)

Set up studio

Break down studio, empty ash-trays.

Occasionally get to press the red button!

Most important lesson learned:

At 6a.m. when you're the last person in the building after having cleaned up everything, always go down the back of the sofa that's in front of the mixing desk.

You never know what you might find in there :)

icon /s

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Apple: Our stores are your 'town square' and a $1,000 iPhone is your 'future'

Mystic Megabyte
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Pirate

Re: face-scan in non-voluntary situations?

Also, will it unlock on a sleeping / unconscious face/ dead?

FTFY

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Mystic Megabyte
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Trollface

Re: The interesting bit...

"Is the neural engine, first time a hardware neural network has been put into a consumer product."

Yes, they actually have a frog's brain inside. This is why, at least once a week, you have to leave your phone in a bowl of water overnight.

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