* Posts by Mystic Megabyte

1369 posts • joined 18 Feb 2010

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‪There's a ransom-free fix for WannaCry‬pt. Oh snap, you've rebooted your XP box

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

@John 104

I loved XP! Having started with MSDOS 2.x it was like the OS from the future. However it did have a few* problems.

1) XP did not seem to be able to free up memory after use. Photoshop was the worst culprit, it would grab all your memory and not release it when closing. (I know that memory use could be restricted in the Photoshop preferences).

2) Every bastard in the world wrote malware for it. XP became unusable. I ended up spending more time trying to keep it going than actually using it.

3)* other stuff :(

I abandoned Windows when Vista arrived, good luck to all of you who still need it.

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You'll get a kick out of this: Qualcomm patents the 'Internet of Shoes'

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Want!

Where can I get those anti-gravity clogs from?

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Dyson celebrates 'shock' EU Court win over flawed energy tests

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: Dyson 'water blade' hand dryers @Everytime

"They advertise the hand dryers as being more sanitary, but the opposite is true."

"They are exceptionally effective at aerosolizing germs."

I think you'll find that is fake news put out by a rival.

What *is* really good at aerosolizing germs are those UV lamp electric fly killers that explode the contents of the insect over nearby food.

Now try not to think of that fact every time you go into a butchers shop.

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Trump signs executive order on cybersecurity, White House now runs the show

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Prime the Rumpy Pumpy

As the old fart seems to be losing his grip on reality maybe a dose of engine oil directly into the brain would fix things.

http://observer.com/2017/05/president-trump-priming-the-pump/

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America's mystery X-37B space drone lands after two years in orbit

Mystic Megabyte
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Alien

How come the tyres were still inflated after two years? That's definitely alien technology!

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Mystic Megabyte
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Re: it is unlikely that it carries any weapons... cough... cough...

unhand me greybeard loon!

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'Crazy bad' bug in Microsoft's Windows malware scanner can be used to install malware

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

No chance here :(

My only Windows installation (Win8) stubbornly refuses to download the 1.8GB of updates it advises. Fortunately for me, I never use it.

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Of mice and migrations: How a rodent's DNA maps to architectural complexity

Mystic Megabyte
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Joke

Easy with the right tools

Massively

Overscale

Unique

Search

Engine

Spanning

Huge

Information

Transformation

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Facebook is abusive. It's time to divorce it

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

"Someone I know recently packed all of his earthly belongings into his sedan,"

Someone I knew recently killed themselves due to facebook bullying.

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Ewe, get a womb! Docs grow baby lambs in shrink-wrap plastic bags

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Who need sharks anymore!

and played the sound of a sheep's heartbeat.

Interspersed with "Kill all humans!". Then at birth fitting them with 'frikken lasers.

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'Grueling' record-breaking VR movie marathon triggers hallucinations

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

How did they pee?

Did they stick their virtual dicks into virtual bottles?

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Swamp-draining Trump pushes ex-AT&T lobbyist to oversee AT&T mega-merger

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Re: Orange-faced, tiny-handed, self-serving...

"Have you ever heard the term "Two minutes hate?"

Nope!

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Cuffing Assange a 'priority' for the USA says attorney-general

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Here's the dirt

As you know, Trump has made the Whitehouse visitor log secret. Not any more 'cos I hacked it!

Monday a.m:

Bukir Vaniamin Ilyich

Kislukhin Rustem Vitalievich

Kovshevnikov Mikhail (Misha) Yermolayevich

Borisyuk Makar (Makarka) Yaroslavovich

Vakhrov Yelisey Vasilievich

Chernetsky Artemiy Valeryevich

Tatarinov Lazar Rodionovich

Nevzorov Dmitriy (Dima) Tikhonovich

Zykov Miloslav Aleskeevich

Rogozin Boleslaw Tikhonovich

Monday p.m.

Yuveleva Lada Romanovna

Minina Miloslava Innokentievna

Revyakina Sofia Larionovna

Skuratova Serafima Yemelyanovna

Nosova Nadezhda (Nadya) Vasilievna

Vyalitsyna Alyona (Alyonushka) Yanovna

Arzamastseva Lara Leonidovna

Zimnyakova Glafira Yaroslavovna

Tsaregorodtseva Aleksandra (Sasha) Valentinovna

Ankudinova Raya Larionovna

more to follow :)

props to http://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/russian_names.php

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US military makes first drop of Mother-of-All-Bombs on Daesh-bags

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

No deals with Russia? Who are you trying to kid?

It's pretty fscking obvious that Trump would rather start WW3 than admit to being economical with the truth. What does he care when hundreds of thousands of people die? The stupid fat bastard will just be playing golf when the bombs start dropping.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/richard-dearlove-mi6-trump-russia-money-2008-financial-crisis-us-election-a7684341.html

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Verizon's bogus bills tanked my credit score, claims sueball slinger

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

@Griffo

Thanks to Rumpy Pumpy you can now legally shoot hibernating bears. Great skill and courage is involved, NOT!

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Half-baked security: Hackers can hijack your smart Aga oven 'with a text message'

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Fools and their money

Had an oil (wick burner) Aga here that was converted from coal. That has been replaced with an Everhot electric Aga look-alike. It plugs into a 13amp socket and is on 24/7. It uses some of the juice from the 6kW wind turbine that's making about £6000 a year. Getting the Everhot installed here to this remote island cost coincidently £6000 YMMV. It has no internet connectivity. Recommended.

http://www.everhot.co.uk/

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Startup remotely 'bricks' grumpy bloke's IoT car garage door – then hits reverse gear

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Bah!

Best yet insight in this thread!

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Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: It's not just cloud services...

Upvoted for Krell.

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Wet, wild Mars stripped off by hot young star, left barren and red faced

Mystic Megabyte
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Boffin

@graeme

Yeah right! I want what that boffin is smoking.

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Avaya's $3.7m bankruptcy bonus plan slammed by watchdog

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

Trump just tried to get a $300 billion backhander from the Germans. He's just envious of Putin's estimated $200 billion. It will all end badly, not bigly.

We need a "We're doomed!" icon :(

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Boffins give 'D.TRUMP' an AI injection

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

New meme?

Along the lines of "What would you get if you cross Trump with a <insert animate or inanimate thing here>.

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Your internet history on sale to highest bidder: US Congress votes to shred ISP privacy rules

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: Start a croudsourced fund ...

It would look like this (allegedly)

goldenshowers.com

gooldenshowers.com

goooldenshowers.com

etc. etc.

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Miss Misery on hacking Mr Robot and the Missing Sense of Fun

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Errp!

Why is it that USian TV series just go on and on and on?

I personally can't be bothered with this nonsense. On the other hand has anyone been watching Letterkenny? It's a hoot but seems to have stopped at the episode titled "Rave". This was a total LOL!

Think quality of a Father Ted type script in a farm setting.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letterkenny_(TV_series)

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Nuns left in limbo after phone line transfer hell

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Down with this sort of thing!

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Microsoft cloud TITSUP: Skype, Outlook, Xbox, OneDrive, Hotmail down

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Good News

Just in case you have not heard this most excellent Bongo related song. SFW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJMLJVha5sw

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Mystic Megabyte
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Joke

@Johnny Cannuck

Did she go of her own accord?

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Norfolk County Council sent filing cabinet filled with kids' info to a second-hand shop

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Izal

You may not believe this and it's possible that I should not relate this tale, but what the heck!

Our family were working class and we lived in a council flat. My Dad used to steal Izal from where he worked. In our bog we had two toilet paper holders. Sitting on the throne to your right was the black enamelled Izal holder for real men to use. On your left was the softy liberal pink bog roll for women or soft bottomed men.

I really hoping that the next comment has the word "luxury" in it :)

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Mystic Megabyte
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Thumb Up

up, up

I just wanted to upvote you for your most excellent username, carry on!

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Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Norfolk County Council...

My ex worked (or works) at the local councils children's home as a social worker. It's the place where they put emergency kids, I forget the terminology. Some years back it transpired that her boss had completely bogus qualifications. He had also molested some young lad. He got the sack but no police were involved. He went on to molest other boys before having to leave the county for his own safety.

AFAIK he eventually got time for something or other and I hope that I never see him again.

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Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

@Spudley

I once scored a sofa and armchair from a vicarage. I dived down and retrieved about £10 and six Parker pens. Result!

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MI5 man to steer GCHQ as Trump wiretapping saga continues

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Fake turd!

Rumpy Pumpy is living proof that although you can't polish a turd you can gold plate it spray it orange.

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US military's latest toy set: Record-breaking laser death star, er, truck

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: HEMTT

Don't be daft, no 'Merkin vehicles can cross railway tracks without bottoming out.

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GCHQ dismisses Trump wiretap rumours as tosh

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Re: Cognitive Dissonance of the left

Too funny to watch the mental gymnastics of the left when things go against their narrative.

I would say that it's you who are doing mental gymnastics. How else can you explain your support for someone who continually spreads lies and falsehoods.

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Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Re: partial denial

GCHQ were not tapping Trump they were tapping the Russians. Good luck with your lying Russian puppet.

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Time crystals really do exist, say physicists*

Mystic Megabyte
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Coat

ytterbium

I had that after eating some bad chicken in Egypt!

Mines the one with a bottle of kaolin and morphine in the pocket.

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Hold 'em, don't fold 'em: How to bite Bitcoin pools

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

?

I've not yet had enough tea for rational thought but I read the article in a different way.

It seems that in a parallel universe someone is mining anti-bitcoins. If by chance we both order a loofah online, Amazon will explode.

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Force employees to take DNA tests for bosses? We've got a new law to make that happen, beam House Republicans

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: "lower costs, and greater control for working families" @warm braw

" It does rather leave unanswered the question of what to do with the families who will be non-working in perpetuity. "

Silly billy! All those people will be in gulags, working in strip mining the National Parks of their resources.

SAD

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BT agrees to legal separation of Openreach

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

More split needed

BT landline should be split from BT entertainment. Why should my phone bill increase to pay for BT sport in which I have no interest. I'm still stuck on a BT Wholesale only exchange but I pay more to avoid using BT as my ISP. Bastards!

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BOAR-ZILLA stalks Fukushima's dead zone

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

Mutant daisies

Don't eat these!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/mutant-daisies-found-near-fukushima-nuclear-disaster-may-have-nothing-to-do-with-radiation-10411188.html

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US Marines seek a few supposedly good men ... who leaked naked pics of a few good women

Mystic Megabyte
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Pirate

Re: That's degrading...

309 kills!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyudmila_Pavlichenko

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Move over, Bernie Ecclestone. Scientists unearth Earth's oldest fossil yet: 4bn years old

Mystic Megabyte
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Boffin

Blood

It's strange how human blood has the same salinity as the sea and is full of iron. Coincidence or what?

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This ferry is said to weigh 250 cows. We say that is actually 20,600 Lindisfarne Gospels

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: East Cowes, home of BHC and the largest Union Flag in the World

In that Google view I see Dalyan's Kebabs, Pizza and Fish&Chips. I like restaurants that specialize, can't wait to eat there :)

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BBC admits iPlayer downloads are broken

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Autoplay madness

Watching videos on the BBC news site with Ubuntu 16.04 (64) is driving me mad. Flash refuses to remember "Autoplay off". Just because I view one story about a volcano does not mean that I want to see every volcano since the beginning of time :(

Dear BBC, please abandon Flash.

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Dying for Windows 10 Creators Update? But wait, there's more!

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

The colour scheme of that graphic is making me nauseous :(

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EU privacy gurus peer at Windows 10, still don't like what they see

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

Re: You probably can't turn EVERYTHING off butm @Harry Stottle

You have just reminded me I dumped Windows when Vista arrived. In XP I had to run multiple anti-this, anti-that and anti-whatever just to keep XP working. I'd rather *be* working.

I now only have one Windows machine but so far I have not needed to switch it on :)

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Drop the F-bomb, get your coding typos auto-corrected

Mystic Megabyte
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Megaphone

RTFM

For command line musical entertainment this works nicely :)

git clone https://github.com/np1/mps.git

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In colossal shock, Uber alleged to be wretched hive of sexism, craven managerial ass-covering

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Bad Uber

I've not yet used an Uber non-taxi and as the management seem be be a bunch of complete knobheads I don't think I'll bother.

Also, how can you be sure that an Uber driver is insured to carry passengers?

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Huge if true: iPhone 8 will feature 3D selfies, rodent defibrillator

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

an incredible 6.9mm –

FAKE NEWS!! It's going to be 6.897mm

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New Royal Navy Wildcat helicopters can't transmit vital data

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Re: No problem

>You could just hover over a convenient Starbucks and use their free WiFi.

In future battles there will be inflatable pop-up Starbucks, holographic Starbucks and stealth Starbucks deployed around the battle zone. None of them will serve a liquid that can be described as coffee.

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Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: No problem @Paul

LOL, nearly sprayed whiskey over my laptop.

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