* Posts by Mystic Megabyte

1360 posts • joined 18 Feb 2010

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Ewe, get a womb! Docs grow baby lambs in shrink-wrap plastic bags

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Who need sharks anymore!

and played the sound of a sheep's heartbeat.

Interspersed with "Kill all humans!". Then at birth fitting them with 'frikken lasers.

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'Grueling' record-breaking VR movie marathon triggers hallucinations

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

How did they pee?

Did they stick their virtual dicks into virtual bottles?

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Swamp-draining Trump pushes ex-AT&T lobbyist to oversee AT&T mega-merger

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Re: Orange-faced, tiny-handed, self-serving...

"Have you ever heard the term "Two minutes hate?"

Nope!

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Cuffing Assange a 'priority' for the USA says attorney-general

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Here's the dirt

As you know, Trump has made the Whitehouse visitor log secret. Not any more 'cos I hacked it!

Monday a.m:

Bukir Vaniamin Ilyich

Kislukhin Rustem Vitalievich

Kovshevnikov Mikhail (Misha) Yermolayevich

Borisyuk Makar (Makarka) Yaroslavovich

Vakhrov Yelisey Vasilievich

Chernetsky Artemiy Valeryevich

Tatarinov Lazar Rodionovich

Nevzorov Dmitriy (Dima) Tikhonovich

Zykov Miloslav Aleskeevich

Rogozin Boleslaw Tikhonovich

Monday p.m.

Yuveleva Lada Romanovna

Minina Miloslava Innokentievna

Revyakina Sofia Larionovna

Skuratova Serafima Yemelyanovna

Nosova Nadezhda (Nadya) Vasilievna

Vyalitsyna Alyona (Alyonushka) Yanovna

Arzamastseva Lara Leonidovna

Zimnyakova Glafira Yaroslavovna

Tsaregorodtseva Aleksandra (Sasha) Valentinovna

Ankudinova Raya Larionovna

more to follow :)

props to http://www.fantasynamegenerators.com/russian_names.php

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US military makes first drop of Mother-of-All-Bombs on Daesh-bags

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

No deals with Russia? Who are you trying to kid?

It's pretty fscking obvious that Trump would rather start WW3 than admit to being economical with the truth. What does he care when hundreds of thousands of people die? The stupid fat bastard will just be playing golf when the bombs start dropping.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/richard-dearlove-mi6-trump-russia-money-2008-financial-crisis-us-election-a7684341.html

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Verizon's bogus bills tanked my credit score, claims sueball slinger

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

@Griffo

Thanks to Rumpy Pumpy you can now legally shoot hibernating bears. Great skill and courage is involved, NOT!

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Half-baked security: Hackers can hijack your smart Aga oven 'with a text message'

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Fools and their money

Had an oil (wick burner) Aga here that was converted from coal. That has been replaced with an Everhot electric Aga look-alike. It plugs into a 13amp socket and is on 24/7. It uses some of the juice from the 6kW wind turbine that's making about £6000 a year. Getting the Everhot installed here to this remote island cost coincidently £6000 YMMV. It has no internet connectivity. Recommended.

http://www.everhot.co.uk/

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Startup remotely 'bricks' grumpy bloke's IoT car garage door – then hits reverse gear

Mystic Megabyte
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Thumb Up

Re: Bah!

Best yet insight in this thread!

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Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: It's not just cloud services...

Upvoted for Krell.

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Wet, wild Mars stripped off by hot young star, left barren and red faced

Mystic Megabyte
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Boffin

@graeme

Yeah right! I want what that boffin is smoking.

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Avaya's $3.7m bankruptcy bonus plan slammed by watchdog

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

Trump just tried to get a $300 billion backhander from the Germans. He's just envious of Putin's estimated $200 billion. It will all end badly, not bigly.

We need a "We're doomed!" icon :(

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Boffins give 'D.TRUMP' an AI injection

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

New meme?

Along the lines of "What would you get if you cross Trump with a <insert animate or inanimate thing here>.

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Your internet history on sale to highest bidder: US Congress votes to shred ISP privacy rules

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: Start a croudsourced fund ...

It would look like this (allegedly)

goldenshowers.com

gooldenshowers.com

goooldenshowers.com

etc. etc.

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Miss Misery on hacking Mr Robot and the Missing Sense of Fun

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Errp!

Why is it that USian TV series just go on and on and on?

I personally can't be bothered with this nonsense. On the other hand has anyone been watching Letterkenny? It's a hoot but seems to have stopped at the episode titled "Rave". This was a total LOL!

Think quality of a Father Ted type script in a farm setting.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Letterkenny_(TV_series)

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Nuns left in limbo after phone line transfer hell

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Down with this sort of thing!

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Microsoft cloud TITSUP: Skype, Outlook, Xbox, OneDrive, Hotmail down

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: Good News

Just in case you have not heard this most excellent Bongo related song. SFW

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJMLJVha5sw

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Mystic Megabyte
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Joke

@Johnny Cannuck

Did she go of her own accord?

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Norfolk County Council sent filing cabinet filled with kids' info to a second-hand shop

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Izal

You may not believe this and it's possible that I should not relate this tale, but what the heck!

Our family were working class and we lived in a council flat. My Dad used to steal Izal from where he worked. In our bog we had two toilet paper holders. Sitting on the throne to your right was the black enamelled Izal holder for real men to use. On your left was the softy liberal pink bog roll for women or soft bottomed men.

I really hoping that the next comment has the word "luxury" in it :)

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Mystic Megabyte
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Thumb Up

up, up

I just wanted to upvote you for your most excellent username, carry on!

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Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Norfolk County Council...

My ex worked (or works) at the local councils children's home as a social worker. It's the place where they put emergency kids, I forget the terminology. Some years back it transpired that her boss had completely bogus qualifications. He had also molested some young lad. He got the sack but no police were involved. He went on to molest other boys before having to leave the county for his own safety.

AFAIK he eventually got time for something or other and I hope that I never see him again.

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Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

@Spudley

I once scored a sofa and armchair from a vicarage. I dived down and retrieved about £10 and six Parker pens. Result!

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MI5 man to steer GCHQ as Trump wiretapping saga continues

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Fake turd!

Rumpy Pumpy is living proof that although you can't polish a turd you can gold plate it spray it orange.

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US military's latest toy set: Record-breaking laser death star, er, truck

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: HEMTT

Don't be daft, no 'Merkin vehicles can cross railway tracks without bottoming out.

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GCHQ dismisses Trump wiretap rumours as tosh

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Re: Cognitive Dissonance of the left

Too funny to watch the mental gymnastics of the left when things go against their narrative.

I would say that it's you who are doing mental gymnastics. How else can you explain your support for someone who continually spreads lies and falsehoods.

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Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Re: partial denial

GCHQ were not tapping Trump they were tapping the Russians. Good luck with your lying Russian puppet.

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Time crystals really do exist, say physicists*

Mystic Megabyte
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Coat

ytterbium

I had that after eating some bad chicken in Egypt!

Mines the one with a bottle of kaolin and morphine in the pocket.

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Hold 'em, don't fold 'em: How to bite Bitcoin pools

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

?

I've not yet had enough tea for rational thought but I read the article in a different way.

It seems that in a parallel universe someone is mining anti-bitcoins. If by chance we both order a loofah online, Amazon will explode.

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Force employees to take DNA tests for bosses? We've got a new law to make that happen, beam House Republicans

Mystic Megabyte
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Unhappy

Re: "lower costs, and greater control for working families" @warm braw

" It does rather leave unanswered the question of what to do with the families who will be non-working in perpetuity. "

Silly billy! All those people will be in gulags, working in strip mining the National Parks of their resources.

SAD

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BT agrees to legal separation of Openreach

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

More split needed

BT landline should be split from BT entertainment. Why should my phone bill increase to pay for BT sport in which I have no interest. I'm still stuck on a BT Wholesale only exchange but I pay more to avoid using BT as my ISP. Bastards!

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BOAR-ZILLA stalks Fukushima's dead zone

Mystic Megabyte
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Mushroom

Mutant daisies

Don't eat these!

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/mutant-daisies-found-near-fukushima-nuclear-disaster-may-have-nothing-to-do-with-radiation-10411188.html

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US Marines seek a few supposedly good men ... who leaked naked pics of a few good women

Mystic Megabyte
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Pirate

Re: That's degrading...

309 kills!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lyudmila_Pavlichenko

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Move over, Bernie Ecclestone. Scientists unearth Earth's oldest fossil yet: 4bn years old

Mystic Megabyte
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Boffin

Blood

It's strange how human blood has the same salinity as the sea and is full of iron. Coincidence or what?

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This ferry is said to weigh 250 cows. We say that is actually 20,600 Lindisfarne Gospels

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: East Cowes, home of BHC and the largest Union Flag in the World

In that Google view I see Dalyan's Kebabs, Pizza and Fish&Chips. I like restaurants that specialize, can't wait to eat there :)

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BBC admits iPlayer downloads are broken

Mystic Megabyte
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WTF?

Autoplay madness

Watching videos on the BBC news site with Ubuntu 16.04 (64) is driving me mad. Flash refuses to remember "Autoplay off". Just because I view one story about a volcano does not mean that I want to see every volcano since the beginning of time :(

Dear BBC, please abandon Flash.

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Dying for Windows 10 Creators Update? But wait, there's more!

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

The colour scheme of that graphic is making me nauseous :(

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EU privacy gurus peer at Windows 10, still don't like what they see

Mystic Megabyte
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Linux

Re: You probably can't turn EVERYTHING off butm @Harry Stottle

You have just reminded me I dumped Windows when Vista arrived. In XP I had to run multiple anti-this, anti-that and anti-whatever just to keep XP working. I'd rather *be* working.

I now only have one Windows machine but so far I have not needed to switch it on :)

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Drop the F-bomb, get your coding typos auto-corrected

Mystic Megabyte
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Megaphone

RTFM

For command line musical entertainment this works nicely :)

git clone https://github.com/np1/mps.git

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In colossal shock, Uber alleged to be wretched hive of sexism, craven managerial ass-covering

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Bad Uber

I've not yet used an Uber non-taxi and as the management seem be be a bunch of complete knobheads I don't think I'll bother.

Also, how can you be sure that an Uber driver is insured to carry passengers?

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Huge if true: iPhone 8 will feature 3D selfies, rodent defibrillator

Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

an incredible 6.9mm –

FAKE NEWS!! It's going to be 6.897mm

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New Royal Navy Wildcat helicopters can't transmit vital data

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Re: No problem

>You could just hover over a convenient Starbucks and use their free WiFi.

In future battles there will be inflatable pop-up Starbucks, holographic Starbucks and stealth Starbucks deployed around the battle zone. None of them will serve a liquid that can be described as coffee.

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Mystic Megabyte
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Happy

Re: No problem @Paul

LOL, nearly sprayed whiskey over my laptop.

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FAKE BREWS: America rocked by 'craft beer' scandal allegations

Mystic Megabyte
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Pint

Re: REally @Ledswinger

>On a related shopping note, try Aldi's Rheinbacher Pilsener in cans.

You should try Lidl's Perlenbache, it's very good. I have only tried the bottled version.

https://www.ratebeer.com/beer/lidl-perlenbacher-premium-pils--bier/60765/

P.S. >real cider contains real beetles.

In wine making, every bunch of grapes contain about 50 caterpillars! Tasty :)

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Inside Confide, the chat app 'secretly used by Trump aides': OpenPGP, OpenSSL, and more

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Dense

SCROTUS's team are so stupid they will write down the self-deleting message so that they don't forget what it said :(

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Roses are red, violets are blue, HMRC confirms Verify can STFU

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

worldpay

In January I logged into HMRC for my self-assesment thingy. At the end I was told that I had £123.45 (not the real amount) outstanding, so I clicked the link and paid it with Worldpay. I got a confirmation email from Worldpay with a reference number. Last week I got a letter from HMRC demanding exactly the same amount so I rang up to query it. I was told that they could not use the Worldpay reference number to check it. D'uh!

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Infosec pros aren't too bothered by Trump – it's his cabinet sidekicks you need to worry about

Mystic Megabyte
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Stop

Re: Right here is how Trump wins or looses the next election.

>>Do that, or tell a good story about why he couldn't and he's in for a 2nd term.

That's the problem. Trump promises the impossible and then blames everyone else for not delivering. All he has to do is keep on spouting bullshit.

Did you see his new acronym? SCROTUS! So Called Ruler Of The United States

https://twitter.com/frostnhstaterep/status/830498558092664832/photo/1

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Trump's immigration clampdown has Silicon Valley techies fearing for their house prices

Mystic Megabyte
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Re: Stalin killed ~20 million of his own people :( @AC

I live here:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/11940936/Mysterious-floating-city-appears-in-the-sky-over-China.html

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Trump's new telecoms chief bins broadband subsidies for the poor

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Re: The dead hand of Obama lives on... @bombastic bob

>>You just TAX "the rich" (which means "the middle class", actually).

That's because the really rich evade paying any tax, you moron.

You are fighting the wrong dudes!! Wake up from your indoctrination before it is too late. Even now Trump's crony is promoting his daughter's products on TV.

http://news.sky.com/story/trump-adviser-kellyanne-conway-counselled-for-ivanka-fashion-plug-10761834

There are not enough FAIL icons to express this correctly.

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Mystic Megabyte
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Re: The dead hand of Obama lives on... @MrDamage

>>You treat the bible like a EULA, you just scroll to the bottom and click "I Agree", without actually reading it.

LOL, I might have to steal that :)

Upvoted ↑↑↑↑↑↑

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Alleged HPE fraud man Peter Sage once ran dodgy pharma biz

Mystic Megabyte
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FAIL

Amazing!

I read a story about a con-man who set up a business that was actually successful. Unfortunately he did not want to pay his bills so went to jail. It must be a certain sort of genius who have great ideas but are so greedy that they're doomed to failure.

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Grumpy Trump trumped, now he's got the hump: Muslim ban beaten back by appeals court

Mystic Megabyte
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Pirate

@chris jasper

About a month :(

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