* Posts by Alien Doctor 1.1

288 publicly visible posts • joined 16 Feb 2010

Page:

Google Maps API now costs $4 per 1,000 requests

Alien Doctor 1.1

Screengrabs

If all you provide are maps for the location of clubs why not just use screengrabs?

On its first birthday, LibreOffice has reason to celebrate

Alien Doctor 1.1

Not perfect...

but you could try this article:

http://www.infoworld.com/d/applications/open-office-dilemma-openofficeorg-vs-libreoffice-716

HTH

AD1.1

Xbox Live patrols hit by ugly SWAT attacks

Alien Doctor 1.1
Big Brother

"In the UK

They would send a couple of PCSOs around. Tomorrow."

After bacon butties and several cups of tea, they'd then have to walk from the nearest police station - nowadays many miles away - knock politely on your door and say "excuse me, sir, but are you being naughty online with some yankee characters? Oh, OK, just don't do it again will you old chap; there's a good boy."

After hack nightmare, Sony bars lawsuits with new TOS

Alien Doctor 1.1

Optical title

So that's no more Movies 24 +1 +2 +WTF, Horror Channel, SyFy (siffi? a cleaning fluid) et.c et.c what a loss! OMG how will I be able to live?

The Reg dips toe into social media ocean

Alien Doctor 1.1
Happy

Knitting...

I can't decide if that fetching clothing was knitted by Lester or Lewis; my guess would be Lewis, what else do submariners do?

comScore sued over 'sinister' data collection methods

Alien Doctor 1.1
Big Brother

Install...

their prog and then set up a script to continually search for phrases:

comscore liars

comscore wankers

comscore boss on table with underling

comscore removal

comscore...

Why? Why the fuck not?

New Apple move against Galaxy Tab on Euro front

Alien Doctor 1.1

So...

why aren't car firms or motorbike manufacturers or cycle designers or whatever else where there is competition suing each other?

Apple, amongst other tech firms, reminds me of the baby that's had its lollipop pinched, bawling away, even though it knows it has a bag of lollipops in the pram.

Fantasy Premier League falls over

Alien Doctor 1.1

Yes, I know...

this is about football, but Fantasy Premier League did make me wonder.

Alien Doctor 1.1
Happy

Fantasy Premier League? O.K.

Top Ten (in no particular order)

Xena (a bit butch but...)

Gabrielle (1st team player)

Buffy (skinny but flexible)

River Tam (very skinny but VERY flexible)

Princess Leia (OK for the 1st season, but then lost her ball control)

Kaylee Frye (can fiddle with my engines any day)

Lieutenant Uhura (no more needs to be said)

Martha Jones (is it time for my prostate exam?)

Amy Pond (put the police uniform back on dear)

Dr. Allison Blake (Eureka! - especially episode S1E10 "Purple Haze")

Right, that's it - I'm off to bed.

London plods raid Wikipedia in counter-anarchist operation

Alien Doctor 1.1
Happy

Oh come on...

you probably had the 'tache and the full set, while wearing a "pleasantly fitting corduroy suit that suits the modern man" purchased from a Kays catalogue from your gran on reasonable weekly terms while punching cards for a Sperry shop.

Alien Doctor 1.1

Do not...

leave your chair: don't stand, wiggle your feet or breathe. Trus anarchism is, sorry, was alive then we blew ourselves up.

Modern anarchism is a bit like Subway, looks good on the outside, but bite it and...oh god, no, too much evil.

Hacked Sun site greatly exaggerates Murdoch's death

Alien Doctor 1.1

bofh?

I think he/she knew exactl what they were after - an increased budget for beer and robot building equipment.

Alien Doctor 1.1

All-female band?

How is Ms. Boat these days?

Alien Doctor 1.1
WTF?

How odd

I posted my reply to AC 23:46 @ 01:22 BST and it was published - that makes me wonder: who are the hobbits that man/woman/creature the ElReg comments desk after working hours? Spooky as fuck.

Are they the ones that come round and inject me with things after I've nodded-off? Are they the gremlins that put the noodles into my server boxes that I find sometimes? Is this all a Friday-night cider dream and tomorrow will be bright, sunny, warm and I'll wake up next to Col. Samantha Carter (more than likely it would be Rodney).

Alien Doctor 1.1
Gimp

ID clarification needed, facial error detected

"a person with a nipple on their foot and a house of hell"

Wasn't that Max Moseley?

Google's Facebook: It rocks, but who cares?

Alien Doctor 1.1

"NEXT! NEW! THING!"

Is Google+ really from Yahoo!?

BSkyB/News Corp merger: Wait for the cops, says Ofcom

Alien Doctor 1.1

Just lifted this from the Peston blog on the BBC

<quote>

On this last issue, and as I've pointed out before, Ofcom is under a legal obligation to ensure that the owners of broadcasters such as BSkyB are fit and proper.

But pending the results of the police enquiry into alleged illegal behaviour by the News of the World, and pending a public disclosure by News International of the way that it has changed its structures and practices to ensure such abuses never happen again, Ofcom is not in a position to adjudicate whether News Corporation is fit and proper.

That poses a dilemma for British Sky Broadcasting's independent directors. They know there is an increased risk of regulatory intervention by Ofcom to frustrate the takeover.

Because of that execution risk, they would have to demand a much steeper price from News Corporation than would otherwise be the case. It is their fiduciary duty to do so - and News Corporation, run by Rupert Murdoch, will be well aware of that.

Which means that even if - as is likely - the Secretary of State Jeremy Hunt gives a green light for the bid to be launched in a couple of weeks or so, it would be both potentially expensive and very risky for News Corporation to press the button on the bid then.

My conclusion from all this, which has been corroborated by talking to those close to the two companies, is that Rupert Murdoch and News Corporation will almost certainly have to delay their takeover of BSkyB - at least until it is apparent that the News of the World and News International have been cleaned up.

And, in a worst case for Mr Murdoch and News Corporation, where the reputational damage to his organisation continues to magnify, the delay could become semi-permanent - if, for example, the perceived value of BSkyB rises beyond what News Corp would or could pay.

</quote>

I must admit I find Peston a bit of a headline-grabbing prima donna, but if what he says is true I see a glimmer of hope ;)

Alien Doctor 1.1
Trollface

What about Public Interest?

So what if there's an ongoing investigation by the Old Bill? This debacle has forced the issue firmly into the public domain and it seems our interests, which obviously pale in comparison to those directly affected, as "Joe Public" ought to carry some weight.

The obvious, yes that's really subjective, outcome of a BSkyB takeover by News Corpse will be the creation of a British version of Faux News and as such it should really be subjected to the highest/deepest/most stringent of all examinations (bend over Murdoch, I'm a fully untrained veterinary proctologist).

There was more I wanted to add but I've burned-out some of my ire now; oh the joys of the cathartic nature of posting at El Reg.

I had to use troll as I know someone will have a go - not that I intend that at all; just venting my spleen.

90% of visitors declined ICO website's opt-out cookie

Alien Doctor 1.1

LSO may go here if it's allowed

Sorry, had a day off and am a bit wobbly: why not fuck up the LSO's rather than cookies? LSO's are evil nasty bastards that deserve all they get.

So what if I visit something with flash on - I want to leave the site and have no traces, yes I'm an anti-CCTV, privacy-issue twyt et.c. : when I leave a site I do not want anything left on my PC; in fact I really object to the idea/fact that you (sites) can write to my storage with no permissions when I have set some of the stringest policies I can.

Fuck you for trying to track me. I don't care if it gives me a greater user experience or easier shopping - I care about the security of my equipment and data not your fucking bottom lines or deals with advertisers.

Oracle seeks 'billions' with Google Android suit

Alien Doctor 1.1
Devil

I suppose...

Ellison has to try and fund buying* all those mansions in Pacific Heights so he can watch the America's Cup.

* yes, I know it's been denied, but many how denials have we heard in the past only for the rumoured events eventually coming to pass?

Germany opens cyberdefence centre to protect water, electricity

Alien Doctor 1.1
Mushroom

Hmmm...

"and the attacks often originated from foreign sources"

633 Squadron, 617 Squadron and most yanks were unavailable for comment.

Nissan car secretly shares driver data with websites

Alien Doctor 1.1

Forgive my ignorance...

but if the car has a built-in GSM cellular connection, does that mean the owner/driver get hit with massive roaming charges?

Gordon Ramsay menaced by enormous TURKEY

Alien Doctor 1.1

Credit?

Weren't you one leg of John Trav's trousers in Saturday Night Fever?

Alien Doctor 1.1

Such as...

Chipping Campden,

Salcott-cum-Virley

Cockshutt-cum-Petton

Spital-in-the-Street

Twatface

Penisville

OK, the last two were made-up, but by <INSERT DEITY> England is full of odd names and majorly fucked-up places (see Hot Fuzz for details - and don't start thinking that's just fictional, you ain't lived in my part of England).

;)

Singing Duke set to Nukem dead

Alien Doctor 1.1

Hmmm - not my fault you asked for it...

http://www.darklyrics.com/a/analcunt.html (I apologise, I suppose)

Simon & Garfuckel "A Most Peculiar Man"

Eamon - Fuck It

Eddie Cochran - I've Waited So Long

Alien Doctor 1.1

Ghetto Twiinz

Dukey Dukey F/Dirty

iOS dev nemesis Lodsys pressures Android coders too?

Alien Doctor 1.1
Thumb Down

Has anyone...

patented walking into a shop and buying something? It strikes me that this patent is pure crap masquerading as innovation.

MS announces Windows Phone 7.1

Alien Doctor 1.1

Damn

I dropped an aitch; bugger: now I probably look like a right tosser.

Alien Doctor 1.1

must contain letters and/or digits; here are a few digits...

In a further and late breaking newsflash, it has been determined that certain negative posters on the El Reg website may in fact, and please don't take any hasty actions, are actually Microsoft shills. When questioned, the OP admitted to using a Microsoft OS but hastily denied it was Vista or any form of Ubuntu prior to 11.04.

Please see our late breaking news after a sci-fi series that we'll cancel just as you begin to like it.

Alien Doctor 1.1

NEWSFLASH

Microsoft today announced a new version of fucking crap to be uploaded to all existing fucking worthless pieces of shit and it will also be pre-installed onto the newest item of wank you'll ever buy.

When asked about the exciting new release Steve Ballmer smiled and rang his broker - please note, no chairs were harmed during the interview.

After the initial furore had subsided other journalists at the event were surprised to see a certain William Gates in attendance: after brief conversations with Wired and Penthouse, Mr Gates was heard to utter the possibly prophetic words "fuck me is Steve really that fat and bald?"

We are now awaiting the evening sessions were I believe Sony executives may perform hara-kiri while rendering a beautiful karaoke of "I Will Survive".

Sarko to Schmidt & co: 'You can't escape' net regulation

Alien Doctor 1.1

Get off yer box sarky...

oh, sorry, you already have.

What a bastard - how on earth did Bruni end up marrying that de-shelled snail? (Not that she is that much better).

If they wish to drive internet democracy undergorund then they are doing exactly what needs to be done; these petty-minded, short-sighted bureaucrats are doing more harm to their own causes than good - long may they not live.

Boobs on display in Duke Nukem web game

Alien Doctor 1.1
Happy

Is it just me...

or has the site been reg-dotted?

Welshman attempts to board train with pony

Alien Doctor 1.1
FAIL

BOOTNOTES...

FUCKIN' BOOTNOTES - when will some of you learn?

iPad not stopping PC sales, says analyst

Alien Doctor 1.1
WTF?

"Cannibalisation rate declining"

Unless, of course, you are Slovakian.

Ten... fantasy gadgets you wish you owned

Alien Doctor 1.1

Come on people, how young are you?

Oh You Pretty Things

Don't you know you're driving your

Mamas and Papas insane

Oh You Pretty Things

Don't you know you're driving your

Mamas and Papas insane

Let me make it plain

You gotta make way for the Homo Superior

Bowie - '71

Reg reader lost for words over blank HP keyboard

Alien Doctor 1.1

I used to...

"lear" at school as well - not for keyboards though.

Calling all readers: Want some new icons?

Alien Doctor 1.1

Hmmm

You won't see me sneaking up on you (although you may smell the hops) and I'll have an arrow in your head before you can raise the shotty.

I use a 100lb longbow (bickerstaff) with homemade arrows (and I don't buy the dowels from B&Q) and a team hoyt recurve (60lbs) with 32.75" carbon fibre arrows.

Alien Doctor 1.1

When I mentioned...

"nothing else", I meant what I was wearing on my feet - I was always clad in tie-dye, denim and whatever else I could remember to put on while completely wasted on several flavours of hash and weed (and lots of Real Ale).

Then I went back to fixing equipment whilst working at Burroughs, then Unisys then...somewhere else...

Alien Doctor 1.1

Socks and Sandals

I'm fast approaching 50 y.o. and, even though I can somewhat agree with you, I find my mind harping back to the late 70's early 80's and the festivals - after trekking back from the late night artist socks were just a regal pain in the arse:; leave 'em in the tent and you'd wake up to a chemical warfare attack, leave 'em outside and they'd be full of nasties.

I prefer a decent pair of hiking sandals and nothing else.

Alien Doctor 1.1

Hmmm, maybe not...

I started morris dancing then took up archery - if you'd like do discuss this I'd be more than willing to meet you on the field sometime.

b.t.w. I can't even grow a frickin' beard - all I get is an visage akin to Zappa

Alien Doctor 1.1

Apology goes here

Sorry, having found out that Proper Job is a St. Austell brew (from which part of heaven comes High Speed Death), then my apology is heartfelt, gutfelt, consciousnessfelt and wholly deserved.

Alien Doctor 1.1
Pint

Poof?

A footstool?

Never in these enlightened P.C. times; I would call it a beverage of uncertain LGBT persuasion ;)

Alien Doctor 1.1

The beer icon...

it needs to be changed to Real Ale not that lager or Boddingtons stuff it currently appears to. Maybe a nice bottle of King Goblin or Hobgoblin.

OFT probes extended warranties

Alien Doctor 1.1
Thumb Up

Richer Sounds

Paid for extended warranties for flat-screen TV and DVD recorders - after 5 years with no faults we got our money back.

Bless them.

MythBusters: Savage and Hyneman detonate truthiness

Alien Doctor 1.1

Overspinning...

was done several seasons ago; it was quite an interesting experiment if you happen to have some plexiglass to hide behind.

Vanilla Ice to tackle panto Captain Hook

Alien Doctor 1.1
FAIL

Please...

don't anyone tell him what a panto is; I'd love to be a fly on the wall (with HD camcorder) when he goes to first rehersal.

Lindsay Lohan ditches her surname

Alien Doctor 1.1

Backronym

Launch

Into

Notably

Darkened

Space

And

Yippee

The price of the average foaming tankard - in pictures

Alien Doctor 1.1
Pint

Not quite Tom 7...

I've had the Mittenwalder Festbrau at the Oktoberfest, Mittenwald being approximately 100km South of Munchen on the Austrian border.

Alien Doctor 1.1
Pint

Mittenwalder Festbrau goes here

"You could of course also add a final graphic for next year’s festival, which assuming inflation of around four per cent will bring the price of your foamy mug of beer in October up to €9.13, or a whopping £8.80 at current exchange rates. Cheers."

Given that German - especially Bavarian - beers are second-to-none and that the Oktoberfest always has inflated prices and specially brewed suds then £8.80 isn't too much of a hardship; some of the beers are definitely not session brews and need to be treated with the utmost respect.

Unfortunately I won't be able to attend this year as I'll be cycling in the Austrian Alps :(

Jon Bon Jovi accuses Steve Jobs of murdering music biz

Alien Doctor 1.1
FAIL

title is required, but who cares

If, Mr Jovi, you are correct, why do you allow him to prostitute your music on itunes?

Page: