* Posts by FozzyBear

1048 publicly visible posts • joined 15 Feb 2010

'What's up, Skip?' asks paraglider – before 'roo beats the snot out of him

FozzyBear

He's lucky

He could have been attacked by the likes of Roger

https://www.washingtonpost.com/science/2018/12/10/roger-famously-ripped-kangaroo-has-died-after-lovely-long-life/?noredirect=on&utm_term=.37bdeb1bc216

Sure, we've got a problem but we don't really want to spend any money on the tech guy you're sending to fix it

FozzyBear
Pint

Rudely awoken about 1 o'clock in the morning being told that there was a major problem with the comms link at a remote mining site.The usual reboot scenario didn't work. OK Fine, Quickly organise my flights from sydney to perth. head down to the airport. board the flight a enjoy a 5 hour flight to perth. Then hop across to catch my flight to port hedland. about another 3 hours.

Here's the fun part, link up with a driver that was about to start his 4 day drive back to the mine site (on/off road ore train). (Couldn't get a flight, way too expansive apparently to charter a flight for a single person). After 5 days ( extra day due to corrugation of the road and bruising of my arse ). I finally arrive at the mine site at 10pm. Couldn't gain access to the comm's shed locked up by the site manager. Finally next day I gain access. I was about to start my step through on diagnostics when i noticed the power cord hadn't been set and locked properly into the Base unit.

A two week round trip because someone couldn't be bothered going through the usual fault guide.And to top it all off, the mine sites are dry sites, no booze allowed at all.

Biker sues Google Fiber: I broke my leg, borked my ankle in trench dug to lay ad giant's pipe

FozzyBear
Happy

Riding a Harley Side Saddle!!!!!!

Tech security at Equifax was so diabolical, senators want to pass US laws making its incompetence illegal

FozzyBear
Devil

Until the executives are personally held liable for the actions or inaction's of the company, this behaviour will continue. If I remember correctly it was a lone IT admin that was given the boot and served up as a scapegoat early in this whole fiasco.

Silent Merc, holy e-car... Mflllwhmmmp! What is that terrible sound?

FozzyBear

Re: How about the sound of KITT from Knight Rider (the original series)

Along with the horn from dukes of hazard.

Now that would confuse a few people !

FozzyBear
Happy

Re: Clip-clop

Wouldn't the guy bashing the coconut halves together get tired after a while. Just as importantly where would he sit?

Two in five 'AI startups' essentially have no AI, mega-survey of nearly 3,000 upstarts finds

FozzyBear
IT Angle

two in five have no AI, which means 6 out of 7 of them are lying.

Well that's what my AI model is telling me

Good news: Congress has solutions to end net neutrality brouhaha. Bad news: Two competing sets of solutions...

FozzyBear
Unhappy

So .......

the two major ruling political parties can't come to a consensus. Everyone else is jumping to conclusions without reading the relevant proposals or even understanding the issue.

Well, Colour me fucking surprised.

Swap in any other democratic country instead of America. Substitute net Neutrality with any other pertinent issue affecting that country. The article is still relevant.

UK banking was struck by one IT fail every day for most of 2018

FozzyBear
Devil

Re: We've just had one incident . . .

Same here. The ticket was been open for more than 5 years now. ( originally created to test the new ticket system). We leave it open and omit it from the SLA reports. We assign it in the second week, whenever a new person starts.

The range of reactions has been amazing, from WTF! to chicken little

After last year's sexism shambles, 2019's RSA infosec bash has upped its inclusivity game

FozzyBear

Re: Re Monica Lewinsky

just spit it out.

If you do, avoid the dress. let's keep it clean, ok!

If at first you don't succeed, you may be trying to install that Slow Ring Windows 10 build

FozzyBear
Gimp

Re: One Ring to rule them all

Couldn't tell if you were talking about windows OS or that you have a new bdsm Dungeon

Demand for HP printer supplies in free-fall – and Intel CPU shortages aren't helping either

FozzyBear

Re: Finally....

still waiting for the boss-less office

Microsoft 'welcomes dialog' over HoloLens use by the military, but doesn't have to listen

FozzyBear
Facepalm

So.......

The VR system is where they draw the line. What about all the other Military systems and subsystems that run Microsoft software, all of which contribute to increasing lethality of the armed forces.

In fact not just the American military, but every other military and para-military outfit in the world will have Microsoft software somewhere adding in the coordination, planning, analysis or logistics. All designed to increase the effectiveness of it's armed forces in the field. So where's the condemnation, the cries of outrage, where's the shouts for ethical behaviour.

........

No nothing, Thought so.

Fucking Hypocrites.

Crowdfunded lawyer suing Uber told he can't swerve taxi app giant's £1m legal bill

FozzyBear

I daresay that a large amount of ego entered the equation considering the trivial amount involved. Most people would shrug their shoulders over an amount less than a coffee. If you felt righteous a phone call to the tip line of your taxation office would set the hounds on the trail. More importantly the federal government will be responsible for picking up the tab if the decision went against them

BOFH: Bye desktop, bye desk. Hello tablet and a beanbag on the floor

FozzyBear

If Simon ever runs low. My company has an oversupply of them prancing around the corridors. It'd take years to thin that herd.

Oracle sued for $4.5m after ERP system delivery date 'moved from 2015 to 2016, then 2017, then... er, never'

FozzyBear
Alert

NEW ERP implementation

Signed the dotted line in February 2015 and expected go live in the same year.

Yeah I call bullshit right there. I'm not sure if the customer pushed for that date or if the Consultancy firm suggested it. Either way that timeline should have been a big red flag to the other side .

There's no 'My' in Office, Microsoft insists with new productivity hub

FozzyBear
Windows

Cute

But fucking useless

I've used word extensively for all things word processor related, including some documents running into the 100's of pages, you know chapters, references, indexes, blah, blah blah. I've used excel extensively as well. Even had to use powerpoint for the various crayon departments ( marketing and upper management ) who's attention spans are measured in fractions of seconds.

Over past 2 decades with all that usage, weird arsed requests or suggestions made by bosses and other finger painters, there has not been a feature that I have used or needed that was not in Office '97

/rant

Now get off my lawn

Where's Zero Cool when you need him? Loose chips sink ships: How hackers could wreck container vessels

FozzyBear
Coffee/keyboard

Oh God No. No God why oh why did you reference that infernal movie.

Not to fear Mr The Plague is here.

Thankfully randomly bashing buttons on some weird arsed console will destroy any incoming virus or malware.

All your ETL pipeline are belong to us: Google snaps up Alooma

FozzyBear
Mushroom

Re: The new, improved ETL...

To be fair that is the truth with any ETL suite you implement. Costs a friggin' fortune. A nightmare to implement and maintain, and apocalyptic if you decide to move to a different platform

Pokemon No! Good news: You can now ban the virtual pests, er, pets to stop nerds wandering around your property

FozzyBear
Alien

Re: New App

Now that's a game worth playing. The benefit to the gene pool should be substantial too.

Australian prime minister blames 'state level' baddies for Oz parliament breach

FozzyBear
Black Helicopters

Personally I hoping

That the truth comes out. The state level baddies turns out to be a 15 yr old kid in the outer suburbs of Brisbane. Armed with a Dummies guide to hacking and a couple of scripts he managed to download.

Even better he socially engineered the account and passwords from the minister of communications

Sussex rap fan wants statue of Easy-E from NWA in his hometown because he's a 'legend'

FozzyBear
Coffee/keyboard

Re: fallen on deaf ears

I think you are playing fast and loose with the definition of music when it comes to this crap

OK, Google. Music in 2019 isn't what it was, but Play nice, will ya?

FozzyBear

Re: All the best music was written before 1988 anyway

1977 the best year ever for music.

FozzyBear

Re: All the best music was written before 1988 anyway

I thought you were setting everyone up for a rick roll.

Hungover this morning? Thought 'beer before wine and you'll be fine'? Boffins prove old adage just isn't true

FozzyBear
Pint

Many of the commentators are suggesting their own home remedies for a hangover. The best is, of course, Don't stop drinking.

Now I'd like a big grant to study the old adage "drink yourself sober"

Congrats, Satya Nadella. In just five years, you've turned Microsoft from Neutral Evil to, er, merely True Neutral

FozzyBear

Re: Evil Neutral

Actually, it would be moving from neutral evil to Chaotic Neutral.

The sheer madness of some of those decisions strongly suggests a madman is holding the reins

British cops told to scrap 'discriminatory' algorithms in policing

FozzyBear

let's get a few things straight here

"Predictive Policing" is just new jargon for crime analysis. You analyse what has happened in the past, To figure out what types of crimes may occur in certain areas on certain days and times. You then organise the police in that area to be in those areas, days and times that the crimes are most likely to occur. There are no sophisticated algorithms. Very basic statistics. You find out 40% of the Break, Enter and Steal offences occur on a Saturday night between 8pm and 3am, in a certain area, you make sure the police on patrol are in that area during that time frame.

You couple this with "Community Policing". Remember the "ole days when you would see the same police officer(s) occasionally, or regularly, walking around your local area. They would know who lived in the area. If you were good they would greet you with a smile and maybe a quick chat on how you were doing. If you occasionally got into trouble. you would still get the greeting but it was followed with a warning. If you were a shitbag that didn't care about the law or the trouble you caused in the local area. They would stop you,,find out who you were with, where you were, where you are going and what you were doing. This was shared among the other officers in the local area and was built up over time. Apparently known as "Individual Risk Assessments" now days.

Combine these two and it is the most effective tactic for reducing crime in a given area. No amount of predictive modelling will ever trump it.

After 10 years in the police , on the street, as a detective and later as a crime analyst. I can personally attest, that the people who shout the loudest about the thuggery of police. Even the mere presence of them in their area or street are always the ones who cry the loudest. Demand the most immediate and brutal punishments. Blame the Police for the lack of foresight, skill or lack of action when a crime is committed against them. The hypocrisy is completely lost on them.

Here endeth my rant for the day

BT's outgoing CEO: He's officially gone, but he'll score £1m in pay, pension until Oct

FozzyBear
Coffee/keyboard

given a £1.3m bonus in 2018 despite overseeing a hefty double-digit slump in BT's share price.

So as the CEO at BT you don't even have to be competent and you get a bonus. Where do I sign up!.

Obviously the old adage of honesty is the best policy is bullshit nowadays

European Commission orders mass recall of creepy, leaky child-tracking smartwatch

FozzyBear
Unhappy

Child tracking watches, IoT based toys, Smart phones, tablets, xbox or Playstation.

Dear Parents,

All of these options cannot replace you putting down your smartphone, tablet, xbox or playstation. Going outside and spending time with your children. Sort of like what parents did in the olden days. If you are too lazy to even think about this, or it terrifies you, why did you have kids in the first place?

The world doesn't need a whole generation of kids that were raised without parental involvement.

Terribly Sorry Bank reports 165% drop in profits to a pre-tax loss of £105.4m

FozzyBear
Alert

Re: Who decided such massive change all at once?

@ SloppyJesse

Fully agree. Phased Migration is a major pain. Looks like they did not do enough, if any, dress rehearsals for the migration.

Been involved in 2 migrations. Both with "Immovable deadlines" the first they decided, like TSB, to cut over and deal with the crap afterwards. Big mistake, they were still counting the costs 2 years later.

The other, project managed by Tweek, with the addition of a major cocaine habit and tourettes. Upper management finally caught onto the mess about 3 months before go-live. At least in that situation they had the balls to pull the plug.

Hard Brexit, soft Brexit, deal or no deal: Doesn't matter – all integrator CGI sees is dollar signs

FozzyBear
Pirate

Well if you're not part of the solution , there's plenty of money to be made prolonging the problem.

Team America tries to crash Little Rocket Man's Joanap botnet from within, warns owners of infected boxes

FozzyBear
Mushroom

So lonely, so lonely

Firstly major spelling mistake in the sub heading it's

So RONERY. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEaKX9YYHiQ

Also couldn't we just send Hans to sort out rocket man.

Hands up who isn't fighting Oracle in court? HPE, for now, as Solaris support sueball tossed

FozzyBear
Trollface

Looking at the tech articles surrounding Oracle and IBM recently. One would be forgiven in thinking that these, once, tech giants are now displaying business practices akin to Patent troll companies.

Stop, collaborate, and listen: Microsoft Teams gets an Atlassian glisten

FozzyBear
Devil

Great thanks El Reg! now I have that bloody song stuck in my head.

You like JavaScript! You really like it! Scripting lingo tops dev survey of programming languages

FozzyBear

Just because you can write code in Javascript does not mean you can program

SAP to spend €950m on restructure: The thing is, 'loyal workforce', we want the 'best' minds

FozzyBear

SAP will treat Employees fairly

SAP?

I know these CxO drones are prone to boiler plate HR/ marketing BS but seriously

OK Google, er, Siri, um, Alexa, can you invalidate these digital assistant patents, please?

FozzyBear
Trollface

Google, Microsoft and Amazon, plus a patent troll,I don't think I will be alone in hoping that all of them lose.

Wall St moneymen on IBM Q4 financials: Don't get your hopes up

FozzyBear

IBM notched more than 20 quarters of declining sales until it broke that duck in 2018. But even after a relatively positive run of form.

Sure it was not revenue rather than sales that reported the modest increase? Honest question.

If not, then the increase to the bottom line can be directly attributed to the 10,000's of workers they sacked over the year Not for any innovative product or system.

IBM HR made me lie to US govt, says axed VP in age-discrim legal row: I was ordered to cover up layoffs of older workers

FozzyBear

Re: Corporate Parasitism

he'd routinely turn up between 10 & 11, scruffily dressed with rings in his eyebrows etc, shamble off home between 4 & 6. I didn't give a fuck.

I will take this type of person every single time over someone who comes dressed in suit and tie and plays "How-to-climb-the-corporate-ladder".

The best coder I ever met reminds me of "Tig" from SoS. in both looks and mannerisms.

Having AI assistants ruling our future lives? That's so sad. Alexa play Despacito

FozzyBear
IT Angle

Re: FU Alexa, Cortana and the rest.

It's Starting to sound like the prequel to Wall-E.

Poland may consider Huawei ban amid 'spy' arrests – reports

FozzyBear
Black Helicopters

Re: Huawei distanced itself by sacking the employee ...

Have to agree the CFO gets arrested ( just so happens to be the CEO's daughter ) for violating international embargoes , they along with the Chinese government claim among other things, human rights violations. Another high level Manager within the Company gets arrested for spying and they dump him like a steaming dog turd.

Coincidence? Maybe, but that's one hell of a coincidence to disregard.

Oracle's in-house lawyer denied access to Uncle Sam's procurement docs in JEDI legal battle

FozzyBear
Pirate

Suing because your bid does not have the best tech, reliability, price or people. Yep that makes a lot of sense.

Honestly, they're acting like a spoilt 2 year old throwing a tantrum in a supermarket because they were denied the latest shiny on the shelf

Forget your $145m Apple patent payout, WiLAN told – it's $10m or gamble on a new trial

FozzyBear
Trollface

Re: A Bogus Misleading Article

Oh look everybody! An employee of Quarterhill.

Seriously PatentDefender, get down from your soapbox, take it and your Patent troll ideologies and just get the F*&k out

Senator Wyden goes ballistic after US telcos caught selling people's location data yet again

FozzyBear
Coffee/keyboard

Oh the Irony!

A politician outraged at being directly lied to

Mainframe brains-slurper sues IBM for 'age discrim', calls Ginny and biz 'morally bankrupt'

FozzyBear

Re: Watson

No need for that level of sophistication. Any Monkey from the local zoo that habitually masturbates in front of the crowds should equal, if not exceed the intelligence quotation of Ginny.

Boffins manage to keep graphene qubits 'quantum coherent' for all of 55... nanoseconds

FozzyBear

Re: 1k qubits ?!?

always 30 years away?

Seems to be the case. Still that hasn't stopped the marketing pukes from throwing quantum in front on anything they are trying to sell

Roll a diplomacy check to win the election: Vote tie resolved by a D20

FozzyBear
Happy

Re: Need to determine your alignment?

Chaotic Neutral.

It's Accuracy is uncanny

Oracle takes its gripes about Pentagon's JEDI contract to federal court

FozzyBear

The big question is, who is picking up all the toys as Larry continues his tantrum ?

Doom: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins

FozzyBear
Happy

Ah the good ol' days, when IT would shut down from Friday lunch time to enjoy some wholesale slaughter

Official: Voyager 2 is now an interstellar spacecraft

FozzyBear
Happy

All the crap we are bombarded with in the news, politics, the economy, terrorism, religion, dwindling privacy, social media and SJWs continuing campaign to silence everyone except themselves.

Along comes a little story about a little object making a little journey through our corner of the cosmos. It gives this little human a glimmer of hope for our little species when we overcome all the crap from above and dream big.