* Posts by FozzyBear

545 posts • joined 15 Feb 2010

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Warren 'Mr Moneybags' Buffett offloads huge chunk of IBM investment

FozzyBear
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Devil

Re: Buffett's wisdom

"I can't easily think of a situation in which you would feel the same about IBM. For one thing, it wouldn't be cheap."

What if you have an itch that you just can't scratch and it involves being surprised by large men and then brutally sodomised by extremely large objects without any chance of lubricant.

In that case you just can't beat an IBM licencing audit

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Inside Internet Archive: 10PB+ of storage in a church... oh, and a little fight to preserve truth

FozzyBear
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Angel

Having the tech Storage in an alcove in a church, that is so American Gods

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576-megapixel 'Zwicky Transient Facility' telescope sees first light

FozzyBear
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Thumb Up

Now that's cool.

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IBM's next turnaround tool is ... a new open-source font?

FozzyBear
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IT Angle

Well what else could they do? They couldn't change their logo an empty green rectangle was already taken

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Stop worrying and let the machines take our jobs – report

FozzyBear
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Terminator

But even as those dead-eyed bastards proliferate

At first I thought the article was talking about the latest batch of MBA graduates, not robots. Then I realised a difference without a distinction.

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Birds are pecking apart Australia's national broadband network

FozzyBear
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Re: Dangerous?

Oh, so you live in the centre of Sydney too?

The only time those 4WD's see any action is when the incompetent driver mounts the gutter

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Official: Perl the most hated programming language, say devs

FozzyBear
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Pint

Re: Perl.... Arrggh

*Bah* Lightweight... I see your LISP and raise you RPG-II

Great thanks, that's 2 years of therapy down the drain. (read that as solid drinking) .

Now where's the scotch

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Manafort, Stone, Trump, Papadopoulos, Kushner, Mueller, Russia: All the tech angles in one place

FozzyBear
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Mushroom

Wait so,

A special inquiry/commission/investigation found out that some politicians are corrupt and colluded with anyone that could help them win an election. these same politicians when finally caught in the headlights are now trying to talk themselves out of any wrong doing.

Well colour me FUCKING surprised.

Does anyone actually believe that any political "leader" from any country on either side of the aisle is even relatively clean. Trump and Clinton are corrupt as each other. Here in Australia we have Barnaby Joyce, Oh sorry, I forgot, I'm also a Kiwi. My bad. It's not like I did anything wrong , Honest.

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IBM offloads Notes and Domino to India's HCL Technologies

FozzyBear
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Devil

I always wondered where software went to die

Now I know it is sent to HCL. Helping Code Lapse

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Robot granted Saudi citizenship has more rights than Saudi women

FozzyBear
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Terminator

Well where else would you dump a genocidal robot

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Fines for crossing roads while TXTing enacted in Honolulu

FozzyBear
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Unhappy

In a sydney street not so long ago. So engrossed in reading a facebook page some dimwitted muppet heard the walk sound coming from the pedestrian box, but for the other side. He started to walk out into traffic. I yanked them back onto the kerb in time before they became grill art for the semi barrelling down the road.

My reward: swearing and cursing that I had torn his shirt slightly.

Darwin I am more sorry than you can imagine please forgive me.

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What's HPE Next? Now it's unemployment for 'thousands' of staff

FozzyBear
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Trollface

with US pre-sales teams taking a big hit.

"Well of course we don't need them anymore, we're not selling any products?

Some $700m of those savings will be plowed back into the biz.

"Of course due to the massive savings we have made , most of this will be soaked up by the exec team in bonuses"

Read between the lines and you can almost hear the troll speaking these words.

<shiver>

The icon really doesn't do her justice, does it?

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You may not know it, but you've already arrived at DevOps Land

FozzyBear
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Yep the more they try to change things, the more they stay the same.

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Telstra said its 7-incher was really an 11-incher, left customers frustrated, unsatisfied

FozzyBear
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Pint

Re: Telstra screws thie customers; how unusual.

That's an optimistic view of telstra implementing the nbn. To be honest, if telstra was doing it, there would be a group of council workers standing around a gaping hole in the ground in the middle of Parramatta Road for the past 5 years.

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FozzyBear
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Gimp

Telstra, has replied to those complaining

"It's not the size but the way you use it"

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Boffins trapped antiprotons for days, still can't say why they survived the Big Bang

FozzyBear
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Happy

Re: Does it matter?

I fine with eventually knowing the answer to this question. Just so long as it leads to more questions

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IBM: We're now a, what's not losing money? Ah, a cognitive cloud champ!

FozzyBear
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Thumb Down

Well considering all the layoffs over the last 6 months , revenue would be up.

Unfortunately for the "C" execs they can't keep relying on layoffs to improve their bottom line. So it will be interesting to see their performance over the next 6-18months. My guess not so good.

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Tell us what you're doing in DevOps, Containers, and Agile

FozzyBear
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: What have I stopped doing?

Hey WOW! that's our method of development. The digital version of duct tape.

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Apple slapped hard with $440m patent bill in VirnetX FaceTime spat

FozzyBear
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Devil

The Fruit company v a patent troll company.

My mind is in vapour lock trying to figure out who it wants to lose

I know get the lawyers involved to settle this with an old fashion pistol duel. 2 paces apart though, wouldn't want one of the lawyers accidentally walking away.

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Deloitte to wind up Plutus Payroll, promises contact with contractors 'within 20 biz days'

FozzyBear
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Unhappy

Re: The elephant in the room

#2 is Deloitte themselves.

Then a distant 3rd and 4th are the employees and others.

So after the Tax office gets the lion share and Deloitte will have charged an obscene amount to manage it all there is left, is basically loose change for the others.

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It's Patch Blues-day: Bad October Windows updates trigger BSODs

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Micro$luts screw up another patch. Not exactly news nowadays.

I'm waiting for the news article

"Patch Tuesday completes flawlessly, Sysadmins able complete real work due to stress free day"

Though this will happen on the same day I win the lottery, My unicorn gives birth to a gold egg laying goose and the business users are able to articulate a full set of requirements well in advance of the due by date (unicorn giving birth is still more likely i think).

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Look! Over there! Intel's cooked a 17-qubit chip quantum package

FozzyBear
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Alien

Intel YouTubed an unboxing video,

Did they find the cat alive or dead in there?

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Don't fear the reap... er, automation: Puppet hopes to make IT boring, says that's a good thing

FozzyBear
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Go

Snake Oil. Pure and simple

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Outlook, Office 2007 slowly taken behind the shed, shots heard

FozzyBear
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Happy

I have to admit Nolveys,

The picture you paint of Microsoft in the near future is overly optimistic

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It's 2017... And Windows PCs can be pwned via DNS, webpages, Office docs, fonts – and some TPM keys are fscked too

FozzyBear
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Stop

Another week and get to go through the same ol' dance steps. Test, install, fix again, then it's the start of a new week.

Oh look, a new set of critical patches for Windows.

<Sigh>

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Equifax: About those 400,000 UK records we lost? It's now 15.2M. Yes, M for MEELLLION

FozzyBear
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Devil

Re: SOX

Nope, never, Not a Chance. Just like every other aspect of failure in America.

It was the Russians. They are totally to blame. We are the victim here. The CEO whines whilst flicking through his latest copy of "mega yachts for overpaid wankers"

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Google: This may shock you, but we also banked thousands of dollars to run Russian propaganda

FozzyBear
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Pirate

Re: And of course --

Or Obama attempting to influence Israel's elections. He wasn't exactly covert about that either.

The real question is why such a shit storm in a tea cup over this? Is the American political system showing just how hypocritical it is. Entirely possible. Covering something else or just trying to divert attention from the real issues plaguing the country and world.

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Rattled toymaker VTech's data breach case exiting legal pram

FozzyBear
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IT Angle

Re: Scum.

4). Put the electronics down and spend time with your kids outside.Kick a ball, play a game, ride a bike.

Icon 'cause the last thing a 3-5 yr.old needs is multiple electronic devices

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Australia launches critical infrastructure security reforms

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Well if the federal and state governments would stop selling off national assets and infrastructure like it's a Saturday afternoon garage sale, the list would be easy

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New coding language Fetlang's syntax designed to read like 'poorly written erotica'

FozzyBear
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Gimp

Fetlang is not recommended for production use

OH! I don't know it would make code reviews much more interesting.

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Australian PM Malcolm Turnbull hints at surveillance expansion

FozzyBear
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WTF?

Dear Malcolm,

I had chance to review a recent interview you conducted on the ABC program. There are many points I need to make in response to a number of your comments. I shall be as pointedly eloquent as I can.

1. YOU DUMBASS STUPID Mo&^$%F(*!@#. GET YOUR GREEDY TWO BIT MEDIA WHORE FINGERS OUT OF MY PERSONAL LIFE.

2. STOP F)(*#*& GETTING YOUR IDEAS OFF TV SHOWS (person of interest)

3. YOU STUPID W*&^#$ Do you have any filters between your Brain and mouth.

4. Seriously Just F*&K OFF, you slack jawed Imbecile.

It took a great deal of restraint to not post what I really thought.

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Thomas the Tank Engine lobotomised by fat (remote) controller

FozzyBear
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Unless you can detect the person from 5 km's away they are going to be a red smear on the tracks. Those trains need a lot of distance to stop.

The sad truth is even if there is a driver present they cannot stop in time if they see a person on the tracks.

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Nobel Prize for boffins who figured out why you feel like crap after long-haul flights

FozzyBear
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Happy

Re: Waka! Waka!

Hey

I resemble that remark

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Microsoft gives all staff a marked-up 'Employee Edition' of Satya Nadella's new book

FozzyBear
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Devil

Re: FN+F5

I read it to mean

Fuck No + Fuck Off

Mostly likely my response if handed the book

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Australian PM Turnbull's AU$1.1bn 'Ideas boom' revealed as a bust

FozzyBear
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Happy

You did leave out his major achievement. To be universally despised.

It either takes years of effort or raw talent to achieve that.Only dictators and Trump could possibly make the same claim

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Ah, good ol' Windows update cycles... Wait, before anything else, check your hardware

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

So El Reg is the motto changing from

Biting the hand that IT to

Shaking the hand that hands over the cash!

The amazing thing is that someone actually thought the readers would believe any of that marketing drivel

But then Like I always say

If you can't dazzle them with the detail. Baffle them with Bullshit

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FedEx: TNT NotPetya infection blew a $300m hole in our numbers

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Re: $300M!!

They would, but they got rid of their IT security as a cost saving measure last financial year to ensure their bonuses.

The emergency meeting is about who they can blame if "when" the excreta hits the fan.

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Inept bloke who tried to sell military sat secrets to Russia gets 5 years

FozzyBear
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Joke

Presumably the judge's wife wasn't thrilled with that statement.

Yep apparently she was overheard talking to the convicted felon inquiring into those "Muscle relaxants"

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Sexploitation gang thrown in clink for 171 years after 'hunting' kids online and luring them in front of webcams

FozzyBear
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Happy

It's rare these days to praise law enforcement. In this instance, though, nicely done to those that were able to track down, arrest and successfully prosecute the slime involved.

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HP users moaning over 10-minute login lag during 'Win 10 update'

FozzyBear
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Devil

Pffft. 5-10 minutes waiting.

Work configured Lenovo thinkpad Windows 10 installed. Do a reboot and watch win 10 as it cycles through applying updates, removing updates, attempting updates , rinse and repeat This morning login time topped out at 45 minute.

Still provided enough time to grab a coffee and catch up on the goings on over the weekend with colleagues.

I remember the good ol' days of whining at windows 7 taking 1-2 minutes to reboot.

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Microsoft fixing Windows 10 'stuttering' bugs in Creators Update

FozzyBear
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Devil

So Windows 10 is still F.F.F.F.F. ucked then.

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Atlassian releases 'Stride', because HipChat isn't hip enough to whack Slack

FozzyBear
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Mushroom

Great yet another way one of the great unwashed can annoy me. Email, and any other form of instant chat is just another way for those in the office to simply palm off any problems or issues they may have onto someone else so it becomes their problem. No need {diety} forbid think or try to solve it yourself. Nope simply send the message and someone else will come running to solve it.

They did it yesterday no more than 10 meters away and they send an email and a service desk for a simple printer problem. Really, Select the right one you friggin' brainless moron.

Nope no way will I accept another way these thoughtless twits can annoy me

.

.

That was quite cathartic. Thanks. I suppose I can put the fire axe down and start my work day

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Boffins: 68 exoplanets in prime locations to SPY on humanity on Earth

FozzyBear
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Angel

Re: @Lee D Fait accompli, mate

communities and civilisation don't spring into being in a week.

Depends on who to talk to. Some do Believe that everything was accomplished in just 6 days.

I contend then on the seventh he checked what he had done , then mumbled "fuck it, it's just a draft"

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Stand up who HASN'T been hit in the Equifax mega-hack – whoa, whoa, sit down everyone

FozzyBear
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Mushroom

Well If you are going to fuck up you may as well fuck up in spectacular fashion. I tip my hat at Equifax, they have managed a fuck up of monumental proportions .

I mean it. Congratulations to everyone involved at equifax, you bunch of brainless wankers

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So much data, so little time: How to not flip your wig processing it

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Mirror copy of all My source systems just for reporting. Is the author serious !!!!!!

Seven figures to implement the hardware to host all that, Not to mention the ongoing costs involved. Plus the fact it gets you no closer to a solution that the business requires. All for the sake of holding raw transaction data from multiple source systems that may or may not at sometime in the future maybe needed by the business.

Or carefully implement an overnight batch process that retrieves the data the business "NEEDS" to see in their reports and analysis, processed, summarised where needed and ready for viewing the next day.

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Turnbull's Transformers lash government IT mavens over spend

FozzyBear
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Happy

Now if we could remove or update all of the old deadwood and legacy politicians still hanging around, that should save a shiny penny or two.

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Huge Apple news confirmed. Software deal with Accenture is official

FozzyBear
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That's the announcement everyone's been waiting for, right?

I would have more impressed if some redneck sighted Steve Jobs alive and well and working at some truck stop

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Nasty firmware update butchers Samsung smart TVs so bad, they have to be repaired

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Re: Bricked TVs

Yep a "Smart TV" that can't be used as a TV.

Smart Indeed!

They really should revisit the KISS method

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Uncle Sam outlines evidence against British security whiz Hutchins

FozzyBear
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Holmes

When part of your evidence is based on audio recordings from court or an interrogation that basically ignored his fundamental rights, you know the case is weak.

Added to that transcripts of online chats, weak again. Unless they can prove chain of evidence with metadata, logins and timings, it wont take much for the defence to have that thrown out either.

Overall if this was in good ol' OZ you'd expect an absolute grilling from the magistrate for such as sloppy investigation even the possibility of costs being awarded back. But considering it's the US. convicted and 25+ years seems quite likely

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Germans force Microsoft to scrap future pushy Windows 10 upgrades

FozzyBear
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Headmaster

"great Upgrade experience", "most secure" "most productive"

Microsoft really do need to invest in a dictionary.

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