* Posts by FozzyBear

474 posts • joined 15 Feb 2010

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Just look at our cloud sales, beams profit-sapped SAP

FozzyBear
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S/4HANA, which the company is pushing as an end-to-end experience for clients.

Yes , I suppose dread, despair and moments of sheer terror could be considered an experience

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UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren

FozzyBear
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FAIL

And....

The last three pages of comments just on this article is why any sort of ban is pointless.

It doesn't matter if you think you're making the rules for the right reason.

YOU ARE STILL GOING TO PISS SOMEONE OFF REGARDLESS

Doesn't matter if it is the most politically neutral possible. Someone, like me, will be offended because you are trying so hard not to offend everyone.

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Pastor la vista, baby! FCC enforcers shut down church pirate radio

FozzyBear
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Happy

Re: F and M?

'round here it stands for "Fucking Managlement" .

Typically uttered with a note of despair. Usually used in conjunction with rolling of the eyes or a fingered salute in the direction of the managler concerned.

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Two-factor FAIL: Chap gets pwned after 'AT&T falls for hacker tricks'

FozzyBear
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Re: Any other luddites about?

Yep another here. Considering all the data slurping that is also going on, best to leave the phone for phone calls and carry cash

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Atlassian hikes prices for most cloudy JIRA and Confluence users

FozzyBear
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Devil

Re: Confluence

Good ol' Sharepoint.

I'd have to learn 20 different languages to express how much I hate that bug ridden, sink hole of information, piece of crap

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Just in time for summer boozing: Boffins smash world record for the most perfect ice cubes

FozzyBear
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Go

as long as it doesn't detract from the scotch I'm drinking I"m fine with it.

He says knowing he will probably start a war on the benefits of ice / no ice with scotch.

Oh well start your engines!

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Semiconductor-laced bunny eyedrops appear to nuke infections

FozzyBear
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Re: copper, the miracle element...

It also has excellent resale value. Copper door handles would have a half life measured in secs in certain hospitals in the Sydney region.

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Oz government wants its own definition of what 'backdoor' means

FozzyBear
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Alien

They can call it what they like you're still getting shafted either way.

The criminal in this case just happens to be wearing a suit

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McAfee settles McAfee lawsuit over McAfee name

FozzyBear
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Paris Hilton

I don't know what they did but it was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute to do my taxes while I f**ked my accountant."

And that folks is the when you should put the crack pipe down and let the fumes dissipate for a while before making any other decisions.OR

Continue full throttle until either the body or the money runs out.

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Mainframe TITSUP totals Oz tax tech, again

FozzyBear
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Re: Total Inability To Support Usual Performance

"It keeps going down faster than a two dollar hooker!"

I tend to throw marketing, HR, sales into that same employment bucket.

At least with the original you know your getting screwed. With the marketing, sales types you're getting screwed. How is the part they surprise you with.

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FozzyBear
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Alert

TITSUP (total inability to support usual performance)

Considering the ATO systems has spent quite a lot of time down I'd say the most recent cock-up IS becoming usual performance

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Samsung stalls Bixby launch because it am English not so good

FozzyBear
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Coffee/keyboard

Man that hard was to read.

Bravo!

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Brit teen accused of running malware factory and helpdesk for crims

FozzyBear
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Ummm.

What support and payment model does he have for his support business?

I only ask as our company has an outsourced support model. It has reached new heights for disservice and charges. So I'm willing to take a shot on anyone that can

-Understand English

-Find the On/off switch to a computer

-Support capabilities extend past retry or reboot.

- Most importantly have the intelligence to know which end of the phone they need to speak into

I know, I know my expectations are unrealistic.

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NASA tells Curiosity: Quit showing off, no 'wheelies' please

FozzyBear
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Joke

What about drifting? Are they eliminating or enabling that in the next patch?

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Who botched Oz cancer registry rollout? Pretty much everybody

FozzyBear
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Meh

It's another day and another Government related IT project has just pissed millions of tax payers dollars down the drain. The problem I have is that I have read so many of these stories of late I cannot even summon the outrage I once had.

Am I the only one who now reads these failed government IT projects, shrugs his shoulders, utters "meh" then clicks on bootnotes to find out what the latest Darwinian candidate has done

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Talk about cutting-edge technology! Boffins fire world's sharpest laser

FozzyBear
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Happy

Of course the real question

Is when can these be mounted on sharks

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A minister for GDS? Don't talk digital pony

FozzyBear
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Devil

You may now have Nokes. In Australia we have Brandis. The man who still has problems finding the On/off switch to his laptop but stylises him as the IT Architect Supreme.

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'Bio-hacker' embeds public transport ticket under his skin

FozzyBear
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Go

Re: wasted opportunity

Perhaps, but considering the attitude of most transport officers, they seem to a stick up their arse the size of a 10-foot pole.

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Queensland Police want access to locked devices

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Yep nothing like the threat of terrorism to be able to push through any bullshit law they want.

And of course they will only use it in the instances of a terrorism threat or incident. Really, How clueless do they think the public are?

No second thoughts don't answer that.

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Let's go live to the 3rd circle of Hell – and see what Comcast and Charter are screwing up

FozzyBear
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Devil

3rd level of hell

Holiday for me. I'm currently on the down ward spiral from 5th to 6th that is a data migration/system transformation project.

Morbidly I am now wondering how many more levels of hell this project can deliver

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Latest Windows 10 Insider build pulls the trigger on crappy SMB1

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

emoji's, headsets and speech recognition.

Nice to see Microsoft concentrating on fixing the important things in the OS.

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Oz senate committee says 'robo-debt' program was 'set up to fail'

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Sounds like using a driftnet to catch a couple of minnows.

$300Mil to catch $24 Mil sounds like the usual rate of return on investment from a government project (i.e. pissin' money down the drain).

The fact that it doesn't work properly is just a bonus or an undocumented feature. Though considering the governments rack record this could have been a key deliverable

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Costa Rica complains of US govt harassment over Pirate Bay domain

FozzyBear
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Black Helicopters

Team America World Police - Fuck Yeah!

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Uber's New York competitor sued over driver equity scheme

FozzyBear
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Angel

Uber had considered a similar scheme but decided not to go ahead with it when it decided that would probably break securities laws. There is also a chance that drivers could have faced a tax bill for their shares if they were retained.

First time for everything I guess Uber, not breaking laws. Must have been in the early days when Uber as a company had a conscience

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You can't take the pervs off Facebook, says US Supreme Court

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Dancing baby with music in the background and they issue a take down notice, Seriously!!!

Well they say the law is blind, they just never told me it lacked common sense.

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Texas says 'howdy' to completely driverless robo-cars on its roads

FozzyBear
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Devil

I have visions of the first convoy of autonomous cars filled with overly smug politicians driving down the highway and then off a cliff.

I can dream can't I?

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You wait ages for a sun, then two come along at once: All stars have twins, say astroboffins

FozzyBear
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Alien

Re: Is it possible that they joined?

What makes galactic collisions interesting is what happens to the interstellar gas.

Interesting maybe. Me, I would be spending my time looking at the night sky watching the cosmic dance of 500 billion stars.

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Facebook tried teaching bots art of negotiation – so the AI learned to lie

FozzyBear
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Terminator

I don't know I reckon we could replace the overpriced CEO's and Politicians with one of these and most people wouldn't know the difference.

One second thought lets not, the additional logic to dumb them down would delay roll out by 15-20 years.

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PC, Ethernet and tablet computer pioneer 'Chuck' Thacker passes

FozzyBear
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Unhappy

In Australia there is a commercial running with one of the co-inventors of wi-fi. To paraphrase

fame is a fickle thing, who invented the red light, and saved so many lives. The mobile phone, or wi-fi.. Who are they? They change the world and yet no one knows their names.

Now another titan has passed and almost no one knows him. Sad testament of society today when everyone at least knows the kardashians (Don't care if I've spelt that wrong), but have no idea who some of these people are and how they changed the world..

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Fuji Xerox's chairman resigns over 'improper accounting'

FozzyBear
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Black Helicopters

Re: Maybe they scanned their accounting documents on a Xerox copier?

Yes I truly believe that the old adage

Lies, damn lies and statistics has a forth shadowy figure.

It can twist and mangle numbers in on themselves. It allows the user to warp calculations to suit the outcome they are after.

I call it Accounting

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It came from space! Two-headed flatworm stuns scientists

FozzyBear
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Happy

Re: I suggest I new species....

We perhaps give it the latin name Terrisium Mayicus. Decidedly two faced with a distinct lack of direction...

Unfortunately they have been present in the human genome for centuries, but we call them politicians and lawyers

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HPE hatches HPE Next – a radical overhaul plan so it won't be HPE Last

FozzyBear
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Mushroom

Hmmm. Interesting.

For a tech company, absolutely nothing about products or R&D in product development to ensure they have a competitive edge. Nope nothing of the sort.

No a financial guy is going to chop apart a once great tech company. To do so he will hire battalions of beancounters. Who will, after an exhausting analysis, come to the conclusion that the engineers and technical support staff should be cut and outsourced. Whilst ignoring that beancounter central is probably the biggest sinkhole for money spent.

Bloody moronic

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Donald Trumped: Comey says Prez is a liar – and admits he's a leaker

FozzyBear
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Megaphone

Doesn't matter what happens or what is/was said.

The truth of the matter has long since been buried and forgotten. All we are seeing here is politics given the stage once again so that they can score meaningless political points against each other.

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Axed from IBM for remote working? Don't go crying to HPE

FozzyBear
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Devil

"When you're in a turnaround, making decisions in real time, conference calls don't work,"

Congratulations MEG, You have reached new levels of hypocrisy.

Either that or what we should be taking from this statement is that you have no confidence in your staff or that Remote conferencing solutions, such as those you sell, are a white elephant and not worth the investment.

Alternatively you are just one of the overpaid MBA money whores who are more interested in grabbing the yearly bonus rather than making decisions for the benefit of the company.

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Obama's intel chief says Russia totally tried to swing it for Trump

FozzyBear
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Re: Just a random observation in Pennsylvania...

Thank you sir for cutting through the haze of people's vehement views that seem to cloud even the debate here. Why does everyone think there is a need for these conspiracy theories of Russian hackers. Hillary to this day can't, wont except blame for losing the election. She has blamed russian hackers, others in the democrat party, Comey, Benghazi, the media, Bernie Sanders, the list goes on.

The American population looked at her and trump and they thought "Fuck it, Trump is the lesser of the two evils". Now would you want to admit to that.

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Australia to float 'not backdoors' that behave just like backdoors to Five-Eyes meeting

FozzyBear
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Re: To be fair...

Yeah. NO!.

Australian Authorities like any other from the US, UK or Canada already have the capability to listen in on communications via special telecommunications warrants. Those warrants grant them the ability to record ( and/or listen in on) any communications to or from the nominated number. They also already have the ability to request call charge records to list all numbers to or from a nominated number.

What we have here is another example of a government official trying to keep the fear level up enough that they can waltz in any bit of legalisation they want. Be damned our rights, freedoms or that what they ask for is impossible.

Seriously the quicker Brandis and his moronic ideas are kicked (preferably via the testicles) to the kerb the better off we will be.

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Microsoft totters from time machine clutching Windows 10 Workstation

FozzyBear
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Alert

Next thing you know IBM will be dusting off OS/2 Warp

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UK PM May's response to London terror attack: Time to 'regulate' internet companies

FozzyBear
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Typical bloody politician. Using a tragedy to push her own agenda, or spouting crap to appease the masses.

Along with Malcolm Turnballs' comments on the attack I am convinced every politician should be muzzled. Permanently.

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Gay Dutch vultures become dads

FozzyBear
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Happy

Interesting. I did not know that about birds, considering I breed budgies and love birds as a hobby. So today hasn't been a total waste.

It would be awesome to throw that bit of information to those homophobic conservatives it would "contaminate" their little talk with their kids about the "birds and the bees"

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Social media vetting for US visas go live

FozzyBear
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Black Helicopters

Some of the countries they are likely to target still allow polygamy. Didn't Bin laden have dozens of wives and more again of kids?

That would make filling out the form interesting .

But of course, anyone willing to do harm to Americans on american soil would be morally obligated to fill out the form honestly

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Healthcare dev fined $155 MEEELLION for lying about compliance

FozzyBear
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Thumb Up

And that folks is what should happen to the "C" execs that demand 10's of millions as their package, then deliberately lead the company down that path. Make them personally liable for their illegal decisions, rather than have them wash their hands of the matter and the company pays.

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Pentagon trumpets successful mock-ICBM interception test

FozzyBear
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Pint

Too true. I was in a hurry to finish the post. The clock chimed beer- O'clock, so couldn't be arsed to edit

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FozzyBear
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Mushroom

What if they used a series of satellites with powerful lazers that could track and destroy the incoming ICBM's. it's the only way to ensure we protect our way of life, by nuking it from orbit

Call it star wars!

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Sons of IoT: Bikers hack Jeeps in auto theft spree

FozzyBear
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Happy

Umm. It's removing those gas guzzling accident prone lemons off the roads a community service, not theft. It least that would be my defence.

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'President Zuck' fundraiser opens for business

FozzyBear
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Devil

This is starting to read more and more like the Book of Revelations.

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Ouch! Latest Qualcomm sueball comes from ... its own shareholders

FozzyBear
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Happy

I'd love to see a counter suit being filed by the senior management. Accusing the shareholders of setting unrealistic demands on the profit margin, hence the legal problems they are now experiencing.

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IBM asks contractors to take a pay cut

FozzyBear
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Happy

In all honesty the best thing that can happen to IBM now is that they spin off all their main tech Areas as separate companies.

Have these separate tech companies run by. Oh I don't know lets call them Technically capable people with a bit business acumen thrown in.

Leaving those half-wits that call themselves Executive managers in the US to manage IBM's highly productive original product "typewriters"

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Google now mingles everything you've bought with everywhere you've been

FozzyBear
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Devil

WOW

Long gone the days of their catch phrase.

"First do no evil"

I've seen shows where individuals, even whole families have turned their backs on the modern world. Rather than being the hill billy rednecks I thought they were. They may just be the smartest people on the planet

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AI smut-finder is now an Android app

FozzyBear
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Paris Hilton

finally

An "AI" app I can get behind

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Facebook loves virtual reality so much it just axed its VR film studio

FozzyBear
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Coat

Re: future is bright

Gotta wear shades.

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