* Posts by FozzyBear

510 posts • joined 15 Feb 2010

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Ah, good ol' Windows update cycles... Wait, before anything else, check your hardware

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

So El Reg is the motto changing from

Biting the hand that IT to

Shaking the hand that hands over the cash!

The amazing thing is that someone actually thought the readers would believe any of that marketing drivel

But then Like I always say

If you can't dazzle them with the detail. Baffle them with Bullshit

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FedEx: TNT NotPetya infection blew a $300m hole in our numbers

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Re: $300M!!

They would, but they got rid of their IT security as a cost saving measure last financial year to ensure their bonuses.

The emergency meeting is about who they can blame if "when" the excreta hits the fan.

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Inept bloke who tried to sell military sat secrets to Russia gets 5 years

FozzyBear
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Joke

Presumably the judge's wife wasn't thrilled with that statement.

Yep apparently she was overheard talking to the convicted felon inquiring into those "Muscle relaxants"

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Sexploitation gang thrown in clink for 171 years after 'hunting' kids online and luring them in front of webcams

FozzyBear
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Happy

It's rare these days to praise law enforcement. In this instance, though, nicely done to those that were able to track down, arrest and successfully prosecute the slime involved.

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HP users moaning over 10-minute login lag during 'Win 10 update'

FozzyBear
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Devil

Pffft. 5-10 minutes waiting.

Work configured Lenovo thinkpad Windows 10 installed. Do a reboot and watch win 10 as it cycles through applying updates, removing updates, attempting updates , rinse and repeat This morning login time topped out at 45 minute.

Still provided enough time to grab a coffee and catch up on the goings on over the weekend with colleagues.

I remember the good ol' days of whining at windows 7 taking 1-2 minutes to reboot.

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Microsoft fixing Windows 10 'stuttering' bugs in Creators Update

FozzyBear
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Devil

So Windows 10 is still F.F.F.F.F. ucked then.

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Atlassian releases 'Stride', because HipChat isn't hip enough to whack Slack

FozzyBear
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Mushroom

Great yet another way one of the great unwashed can annoy me. Email, and any other form of instant chat is just another way for those in the office to simply palm off any problems or issues they may have onto someone else so it becomes their problem. No need {diety} forbid think or try to solve it yourself. Nope simply send the message and someone else will come running to solve it.

They did it yesterday no more than 10 meters away and they send an email and a service desk for a simple printer problem. Really, Select the right one you friggin' brainless moron.

Nope no way will I accept another way these thoughtless twits can annoy me

.

.

That was quite cathartic. Thanks. I suppose I can put the fire axe down and start my work day

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Boffins: 68 exoplanets in prime locations to SPY on humanity on Earth

FozzyBear
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Angel

Re: @Lee D Fait accompli, mate

communities and civilisation don't spring into being in a week.

Depends on who to talk to. Some do Believe that everything was accomplished in just 6 days.

I contend then on the seventh he checked what he had done , then mumbled "fuck it, it's just a draft"

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Stand up who HASN'T been hit in the Equifax mega-hack – whoa, whoa, sit down everyone

FozzyBear
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Mushroom

Well If you are going to fuck up you may as well fuck up in spectacular fashion. I tip my hat at Equifax, they have managed a fuck up of monumental proportions .

I mean it. Congratulations to everyone involved at equifax, you bunch of brainless wankers

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So much data, so little time: How to not flip your wig processing it

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Mirror copy of all My source systems just for reporting. Is the author serious !!!!!!

Seven figures to implement the hardware to host all that, Not to mention the ongoing costs involved. Plus the fact it gets you no closer to a solution that the business requires. All for the sake of holding raw transaction data from multiple source systems that may or may not at sometime in the future maybe needed by the business.

Or carefully implement an overnight batch process that retrieves the data the business "NEEDS" to see in their reports and analysis, processed, summarised where needed and ready for viewing the next day.

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Turnbull's Transformers lash government IT mavens over spend

FozzyBear
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Happy

Now if we could remove or update all of the old deadwood and legacy politicians still hanging around, that should save a shiny penny or two.

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Huge Apple news CONFIRMED. Software deal with Accenture is official

FozzyBear
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That's the announcement everyone's been waiting for, right?

I would have more impressed if some redneck sighted Steve Jobs alive and well and working at some truck stop

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Nasty firmware update butchers Samsung smart TVs so bad, they have to be repaired

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Re: Bricked TVs

Yep a "Smart TV" that can't be used as a TV.

Smart Indeed!

They really should revisit the KISS method

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Uncle Sam outlines evidence against British security whiz Hutchins

FozzyBear
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Holmes

When part of your evidence is based on audio recordings from court or an interrogation that basically ignored his fundamental rights, you know the case is weak.

Added to that transcripts of online chats, weak again. Unless they can prove chain of evidence with metadata, logins and timings, it wont take much for the defence to have that thrown out either.

Overall if this was in good ol' OZ you'd expect an absolute grilling from the magistrate for such as sloppy investigation even the possibility of costs being awarded back. But considering it's the US. convicted and 25+ years seems quite likely

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Germans force Microsoft to scrap future pushy Windows 10 upgrades

FozzyBear
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Headmaster

"great Upgrade experience", "most secure" "most productive"

Microsoft really do need to invest in a dictionary.

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Calm down, internet. Elon's Musk-see SpaceX spacesuit is a bit generic

FozzyBear
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Happy

IS the N7 model available ?

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Spotify cleared of exposing kids to self-love innuendo in TV spot

FozzyBear
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: Obligatory

Remember that moralising, self-righteous, do-gooding old bat, Mary Whitehouse?

I read the name as Amy Winehouse.

Talk about doing a double take

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Oracle has to pay top sales rep stiffed out of $250,000, US court rules

FozzyBear
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Re: Wasting the courts time

Oh, in this instance I honestly believe Oracle thinks it was in the right. Which makes that much more unbelievable

But then, as you pointed out, rather than pointedly telling the lawyers concerned to fuck off while their submissions are fed through the shredder, you have a court system that feeds this type of behaviour,

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FozzyBear
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Gimp

Not exactly the sort of publicity you want as an employer.

Wonder if they will update the HR site for Oracle to reflect the reality of working for Oracle

"

We will screw you if you don't perform and screw you if you do. Either way at oracle as an employee we expect you to strap on the gimp suit and enjoy the shafting you will get from upper manglement.

Hey at least we're honest about it, what are you going to do work for HPE or IBM? Yeah thought so. Now where did I put that tube of lube.....

If you have found an error or need to leave a comment click on the link below

yourperferenceofjobsite

"

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Microsoft, Apple cough up MEEELLIONS after Australian tax audits

FozzyBear
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Thumb Up

"because it needs to do so in order to remain competitive"

I'm Sydney and I can still smell bullshit of that statement. If that was a legitimate reason for avoiding corporate tax the others would have done the same.

Finally the ATO is getting it right, rather than go after the little guy and try to recoup a couple hundred. Target the likes of Google and others and claw back the billions that are owed.

The only problem is now that money, that should be invested in hospitals, education and infrastructure, will be blown on crap that the federal government believes will get it re-elected. <sigh>

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Sonos will deny updates to those who snub rewritten privacy terms

FozzyBear
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Mushroom

Dear Sonos,

Due to your forced changes in policy to receive updates. I must inform you that the new data collection policy should be wadded up, wrapped in barbed wire and then repeatedly inserted as a suppository.

Yours Sincerely,

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US cops point at cell towers and say: Give us every phone number that's touched that mast

FozzyBear
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Re: @coresstore

There is another reason and that is smaller teleco's will rent infrastructure off the larger providers. That means keeping track of all the numbers utilising that tower for any reason. The utilisation may not be billable to the customer but that can be to another telco.

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How are you feeling today? Don't tell us, save for it this handy emotion-detection code

FozzyBear
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Mushroom

Well after walking into the shit storm that is today. They forgot one emotion

Homicidal

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RBS sharpens axe again: 900 IT jobs to go by 2020

FozzyBear
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Alien

Yep the beancounters are at it again. They whine that profits aren't big enough so IT is cut. "cause they are the easy targets, and of course "IT"? whats so hard about that.

The IT staff go and then they whine that they can't log in, they whine their excel wont load, the Network is slow. I forgot my password they whine . Then they whine they they don't get the same hand holding, snot nose wiping level of care as they did when IT was In house. It Come back in house, Then they whine again. Rinse and repeat over the decades

Beancounters whine, the world turns. The real news would be if a beancounter was able to look past fiddling spreadsheets and saw the big picture.

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Australia's metadata retention scheme costs telcos $500k per cuffing

FozzyBear
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Black Helicopters

Really, the obvious solution is to allow - nay, require - ISPs to charge a processing fee per request

This is already in place. Policing agencies can request CCR (Call Charge Records) and RCCR (reverse Call Charge Records) from any Telco. This information provides for each number who, when and where they called or in the reverse who called them. Most telco's have this information on hand going back about 2 years. Depending on the number of Individual numbers and length of time these requests can cost a bomb.

And that is the point the policing agencies already have access to this information and have so for decades. It isn't to ensure they have access to information they need for investigations or ongoing intelligence operations. This new legalisation is just another excuse tramp up the fear.

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Chap behind Godwin's law suspends his own rule for Charlottesville fascists: 'By all means, compare them to Nazis'

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Re: Everything I don't like is a Nazi

Umm. Can I suggest you put the crack pipe down. Open a window and let the fumes disperse

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If we're in a simulation, someone hit it with a hammer, please: Milky Way spews up to 100 MEELLLION black holes

FozzyBear
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Facepalm

Son has just started studying astronomy. He's first comment.

"Cool. A black hole ate my homework seems more believable now"

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Brisbane and TechnologyOne swap demands for AU$50 mn

FozzyBear
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IT Angle

the sub heading says it all. Nothing else is really news hear, except for which lawyers will be able to foot the bill for the seat warmers

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The Telegraph has killed Prince Philip

FozzyBear
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Headmaster

"Fake News"

Why are people so caught up with this term. Call it for what it is.

"Bullshit and lies"

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FozzyBear
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Devil

Re: But, but, but

" could splat any kind of junk on your front page"

And that basically describes journalism and the news media channels as a whole. Gone the days of at least checking facts. The news media are paparazzi. The only thing that matters is being first with the head line.

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'Would you like fries with that?' The cloud wants to know

FozzyBear
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Happy

Re: One has to wonder

Oh it must be the other guy, most the sexapades are done outdoors!

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FozzyBear
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Paris Hilton

I wonder if they will expand into the sex industry.

"I see you have ordered the life sized Arabian Stallion Dildo. Many customers ordering the same have enjoyed our strawberry flavoured lubricant. You can upsize to the tub sized version for just an extra $1 more"

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Facebook pulls plug on language-inventing chatbots? THE TRUTH

FozzyBear
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Terminator

Well to be fair to the media, that is a level of intelligence rarely seen on facebook or any other social media site for that matter.

I can see why they would hit the panic button!

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Fox News fabricated faux news with Donald Trump, lawsuit claims

FozzyBear
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Alien

sigh!

The frustration I have about the current state of politics (doesn't matter country or level) is that if this type of behaviour was witnessed on a playground, you'd clip both of them behind the ear. Tell them they were acting like babies and put them on trash detail for the rest of the day to teach them a lesson.

The lesson being acting like a spoilt little brat, lying, making up stories, whining, blaming and tattling on others is not acceptable behaviour.

Unfortunately, it appears not only is this behaviour expected in politics, it rewarded.

There must be a reason that the crap rather than the cream rises to the top in politics

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Steve Bannon wants Facebook, Google 'regulated like utilities'

FozzyBear
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Thumb Down

Re: YOS!

The first time I ever considered hitting the report abuse button.

Your post abused my senses, sanity and the English language.

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Slapping crap bosses just got cheaper: Blighty's Supreme Court nixes tribunal fees

FozzyBear
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Mushroom

Well

Can't we just publicly execute the power elite.

Sure it caused a bit of a kerfuffle in France a while ago. But it certainly sent the message don’t f$ck with the people.

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Just look at our cloud sales, beams profit-sapped SAP

FozzyBear
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S/4HANA, which the company is pushing as an end-to-end experience for clients.

Yes , I suppose dread, despair and moments of sheer terror could be considered an experience

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UK regulator set to ban ads depicting bumbling manchildren

FozzyBear
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FAIL

And....

The last three pages of comments just on this article is why any sort of ban is pointless.

It doesn't matter if you think you're making the rules for the right reason.

YOU ARE STILL GOING TO PISS SOMEONE OFF REGARDLESS

Doesn't matter if it is the most politically neutral possible. Someone, like me, will be offended because you are trying so hard not to offend everyone.

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Pastor la vista, baby! FCC enforcers shut down church pirate radio

FozzyBear
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Happy

Re: F and M?

'round here it stands for "Fucking Managlement" .

Typically uttered with a note of despair. Usually used in conjunction with rolling of the eyes or a fingered salute in the direction of the managler concerned.

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Two-factor FAIL: Chap gets pwned after 'AT&T falls for hacker tricks'

FozzyBear
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Re: Any other luddites about?

Yep another here. Considering all the data slurping that is also going on, best to leave the phone for phone calls and carry cash

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Atlassian hikes prices for most cloudy JIRA and Confluence users

FozzyBear
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Devil

Re: Confluence

Good ol' Sharepoint.

I'd have to learn 20 different languages to express how much I hate that bug ridden, sink hole of information, piece of crap

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Just in time for summer boozing: Boffins smash world record for the most perfect ice cubes

FozzyBear
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Go

as long as it doesn't detract from the scotch I'm drinking I"m fine with it.

He says knowing he will probably start a war on the benefits of ice / no ice with scotch.

Oh well start your engines!

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Semiconductor-laced bunny eyedrops appear to nuke infections

FozzyBear
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Re: copper, the miracle element...

It also has excellent resale value. Copper door handles would have a half life measured in secs in certain hospitals in the Sydney region.

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Oz government wants its own definition of what 'backdoor' means

FozzyBear
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Alien

They can call it what they like you're still getting shafted either way.

The criminal in this case just happens to be wearing a suit

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McAfee settles McAfee lawsuit over McAfee name

FozzyBear
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Paris Hilton

I don't know what they did but it was like that time I hired that Bangkok prostitute to do my taxes while I f**ked my accountant."

And that folks is the when you should put the crack pipe down and let the fumes dissipate for a while before making any other decisions.OR

Continue full throttle until either the body or the money runs out.

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Mainframe TITSUP totals Oz tax tech, again

FozzyBear
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Re: Total Inability To Support Usual Performance

"It keeps going down faster than a two dollar hooker!"

I tend to throw marketing, HR, sales into that same employment bucket.

At least with the original you know your getting screwed. With the marketing, sales types you're getting screwed. How is the part they surprise you with.

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FozzyBear
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Alert

TITSUP (total inability to support usual performance)

Considering the ATO systems has spent quite a lot of time down I'd say the most recent cock-up IS becoming usual performance

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Samsung stalls Bixby launch because it am English not so good

FozzyBear
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Coffee/keyboard

Man that hard was to read.

Bravo!

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Brit teen accused of running malware factory and helpdesk for crims

FozzyBear
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Ummm.

What support and payment model does he have for his support business?

I only ask as our company has an outsourced support model. It has reached new heights for disservice and charges. So I'm willing to take a shot on anyone that can

-Understand English

-Find the On/off switch to a computer

-Support capabilities extend past retry or reboot.

- Most importantly have the intelligence to know which end of the phone they need to speak into

I know, I know my expectations are unrealistic.

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NASA tells Curiosity: Quit showing off, no 'wheelies' please

FozzyBear
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Joke

What about drifting? Are they eliminating or enabling that in the next patch?

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