* Posts by Detective Emil

204 posts • joined 10 Feb 2010

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Scrapping UK visa cap on nurses, doctors opened Britain's doors to IT workers

Detective Emil
Meh

Where's your sense of balance?

The article lacks an insincere and pat response from the Home Office, framed in language that makes it clear that it believes it is talking to an audience with the intellect of a seven-year-old.

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Microsoft: Like the Borg, we want to absorb all the world's biz computers

Detective Emil
Devil

Long spoons needed

So, in 2025 or so, we can expect an EU finding, accompanied by a massive fine, that Microsoft has been threatening to withhold MMD approval from OEMs who want to do naughty things like shipping Chromebooks or sytems with Linux preinstalled.

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2-bit punks' weak 40-bit crypto didn't help Tesla keyless fobs one bit

Detective Emil

Re: Would have been nice to target the right manufacturers El Reg

Nope. Fair game. Tesla, which claims to be being "disruptive" by running an auto company like a tech company, should have known better than to use a 40-bit key in the first place.

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Vodafone cops ads rap over Martin Freeman's vanishing spaceship

Detective Emil

Re: The only useful measure

Unless they find a way of their router measuring available bandwidth over time …

Well, you could try signing up with SamKnows. They used to give away "white box" measurement devices to anyone who asked; now there seems to be some sort of lottery.

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Can a script kiddie pwn your SD-WAN? Better check the config, friend

Detective Emil
Headmaster

Please, sir!

What's an SD-WAN?

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Australia on the cusp of showing the world how to break encryption

Detective Emil

Note to self

I'm off to Oz next year. Must make sure the VPN's in working order.

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Hackers can cook you alive using 'microwave oven' sat-comms – claim

Detective Emil

It burns, it burns (or not)

Hmm. Let's look at the Astra 1N satellite for example. It has an EIRP of 54dbW. My goodness, that's a quarter of a megawatt. Sounds dangerous. Except that the I in EIRP stands for isotropic, meaning that, if the satellite were transmitting in all directions, that's what it would have to put out in order to achieve the signal strength it attains in Its service area, a large swathe of Europe. Of course, it does not radiate in all directions; it beams a signal only at its service area. That means it's putting out just a couple of hundred Watts — about a quarter of a microwave oven. Of course, it has multiple beams, but even so, the total power available for everything on the satellite is 13kW. And it's more than 30,000 km away. I don't think we're in danger.

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Ex-VMware veep loses attempt to throw out his own $1.5m legal win

Detective Emil

Isn't he also due a (potentially) big bung for exposing a fraud on the US government?

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IPv6: It's only NAT-ural that network nerds are dragging their feet...

Detective Emil

Masterly inaction

$ host -t AAAA www.theregister.co.uk

www.theregister.co.uk has no AAAA record

[Was that what you meant, Lee D?]

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Imagine Python fan fiction written in C, read with a Lisp: Code lingo Nim gets cash injection

Detective Emil
Meh

Indentation-significant syntax

Lost me there.

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Game over for Google: Fortnite snubs Play Store, keeps its 30%, sparks security fears

Detective Emil
Coat

Sweeney shuns Google's haircut

Mine's the one with the comb in the top pocket.

6
2

Micron-Intel 3D XPoint split: It's not you, it's m... nah, it is totally you

Detective Emil

More inferences

7. It's utterly proprietary: Intel won't say how it works. Without this information, there can be no rigorous independent evaluation of its endurance and of its failure modes. A guarantee is all very well, but one doesn't want it to fail in the first place.

8. It's single-sourced, meaning there's no alternative if Intel/Micron should have production problems or give up on it, and no prospect of meaningful price competition.

19
1

Oracle cuts ribbon on distributed ledger service

Detective Emil

Three-and-a-half nines

I suspect that's too few to interest many of Oracle's most lucrative clients.

5
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ICANN't get no respect: Europe throws Whois privacy plan in the trash

Detective Emil

"… directly against the stated positions of both ICANN and its most influential members …"

Sounds good to me.

22
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Git365. Git for Teams. Quatermass and the Git Pit. GitHub simply won't do now Microsoft has it

Detective Emil

Alternate Title

See Wikipedia if under 60 or not a Brit.

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The cybercriminal's cash cow and the marketer's machine: Inside the mad sad bad web ad world

Detective Emil

Goodness me

If this much money were being siphoned out of (let's say) healthcare delivery — for which, like advertising, we all pay — governments would be falling over themselves to (be seen to) stop it. Although typically by excluding qualified recipients, making vague but loud claims about financing terrorism, and so on… Maybe we are better with the status quo.

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On Kaspersky’s 'transparency tour' the truth was clear as mud

Detective Emil

" … it won’t be long before Kaspersky is recognised as an Uber-style disruptor …"

And this is good?

22
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Chrome sends old Macs on permanent Safari: Browser bricks itself

Detective Emil

Users can probably rewind to a working version

I have not tried this, but the following should work:

1. Disable Chrome autoupdate — Google(!) that phrase to find out how.

2. Restore a working version of Chrome from a backup.

That said, those running Mavericks really should update to El Capitain, which is still (just about) receiving security updates from Apple, and supports any hardware that runs Mavericks (provided it has 2GB or more of RAM).

3
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GDPR forgive us, it's been one month since you were enforced…

Detective Emil

Washington Post

The Bezos Bugle (motto “Democracy Dies in Darkness”) now tries to sell me a “Premium EU Subscription”, regular price $117, when I attempt to visit. Well, they won’t be losing anything like that just by my not reading Doonesbury every day (which I could do with a VPN anyway, if I could just be arsed). No, I’ve switched my alleigance to block-free GoComics. Hell, I might even buy a subscription.

By the way, I really hope El Reg is raking it in by showing me ads for BooHoo, Miss Selfridge and and PrettyLittleThing against this page: targetting? What targetting?

16
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What's all the C Plus Fuss? Bjarne Stroustrup warns of dangerous future plans for his C++

Detective Emil

Visit the Vasa!

If you're in Stockholm, visit the Vasa. I did, thinking I'd be in and out in a couple of hours. I was there all day.

18
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Intel chip flaw: Math unit may spill crypto secrets from apps to malware

Detective Emil
Devil

FreeBSD (et al?)

The article does not mention FreeBSD. The maintainers seem to on the case. Presumably this will filter through to macOS sometime soon, though Apple has said nothing AFAICT. (Strange for El Reg to miss the opportunity to snipe at this.)

4
1

Presto chango, crypto buyo: You're travelling like El Reg's gang of nerds

Detective Emil

Specifically, your plan fails to account for

( ) Public reluctance to accept weird new forms of money

1
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Doc 'Cluetrain' Searls' privacy engine project is just the ticket for IEEE

Detective Emil

Which do I trust more?

The IEEE or Elon Musk? …

Boy, that was easy.

4
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Oz sports’ pee-samplers outed buying Cellebrite phone-crack kit

Detective Emil

Two years go it might have been reasonable to doubt …

How long was it that governments kept on buying explosives detectors based on golf-ball finders? (Not, ISTR, quite as long as the vendor got in jail, but anyway …)

5
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Boffins detect antimatter thundering down from Hurricane Patricia

Detective Emil

To boldly blow …

Looking forward to Star Trek: Discovery episode where the ship has to dive into a hurricane to recharge its antimatter banks. Or maybe they're using a multi-cluster quark drive by now.

1
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Signal app guru Moxie: Facebook is like Exxon. Everyone needs it, everyone despises it

Detective Emil

What the heck is an 'ethicist'

I'm bound to inform you that I am not qualified to answer that question, but monster.com (for example) has 40 pages of open positions for them (including at the IMF).

1
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Detective Emil

"[M]y friends simply let me know … by … dropping me an email"

Often using Gmail. Gthanks. That means Google gets to scrape information about me, even though I do not use its mail service. They said that they would stop dong this before the end of last year, but the current terms of service (from last October) say that they're still at it.

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France wants you to put lights and beacons on your drone

Detective Emil
Black Helicopters

[W]hat about those bent on aerial mischief?

May I refer you to Dedrone, who would love to discuss your particular requirements. Apple is already suspected to be using something of this sort — see the uploader's comment on this YouTube flyover video.

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0

An easy-breezy attitude to sharing personal data is the only thing keeping the app economy alive

Detective Emil

And the alternative?

From time to time, I've suggested that, if El Reg were to ask me for money, I'd cough up. But the option's not on offer. Instead, as I write this, I get to see an ad for the Barbie collection * from £10 *. Still, at least this gives me a warm feeling that I'm being mistargeted.

(What? No Richie Rich icon?)

12
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Fancy owning a two-seat Second World War Messerschmitt fighter?

Detective Emil
Headmaster

"starting at $6m plus VAT"

Just a moment: this tedious document says sales of military aircraft are exempt. I don't expect the auctioneer's premium is, though.

3
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Murdoch to Zuckerberg: Cough up cash, nerd

Detective Emil

Zuck to Murdoch

"Great idea! We've taken it on board: FB will pay trustworthy news providers for content. None of your platforms qualifies."

8
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NHS OKs offshoring patient data to cloud providers stateside

Detective Emil
Big Brother

Re: So...

Coincidentally, I got a mailshot from Schrems this morning to tell me about his current vehicle, myob.eu, and asking for a bung.

3
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Don't panic... but our fragile world is drifting away from the Sun

Detective Emil

One for the Reg Standards Bureau

Well, well, well. Something else that grows on the order of 30mm/year. Others are the moon's orbit and the width of the Atlantic. And fingernails. So may I propose a new Reg Standard for low velocity, namely fingernails per annum?

Incidentally, this concurrence of orbital growth means that the Moon's closest approach to the Sun remains unchanged, even as the Earth drifts away.

9
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Apple iPhone X: Two weeks in the life of an anxious user

Detective Emil

Re: I hate iOS - but......

Give iMazing a try. Not as horrible as iTunes, but not (anything like) free either. They've got a guide.

Alternatively, copy files to iCloud drive on Mac or PC (supposing you have enough iCloud space for them), then, in iPad Files app, select files once they've downloaded and use Copy to VLC action. That done, you can delete them from iCloud drive. All in all, about as bad as using iTunes …

0
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Detective Emil
Facepalm

Re: "Like I say, there’s no user guide to tell you what all the icons means."

Fair point. To get answers to most of the questions that you raise*, you need to download "iPhone User Guide for iOS 11.2" using the phone's iBooks app. The guide even helpfully tells you to do that on page 20. Shame that there's nothing in the box along these lines, as I'd guess that 90% of buyers never find out.

* Swipes on page 8, icons on page … 95. And that's still with 32 pages to go in Basics.

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Woo-yay, Meltdown CPU fixes are here. Now, Spectre flaws will haunt tech industry for years

Detective Emil
Black Helicopters

Re: 'Intel is in denial'

Here's the icon your post needs, but which, understandably posting as A.C., you were unable to use.

11
5

We translated Intel's crap attempt to spin its way out of CPU security bug PR nightmare

Detective Emil
Thumb Up

More deconstructions of PR flim-flam, please

I realise that El Reg has skin in the game on this one, but there's so much stuff out there just waiting to be mauled. Uber's humblebrags offer a prime target; AirBnB emitted something that made my stomach heave yesterday … Disruption? Hah! All these outfits disrupt is my digestion.

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European court: Let's not kid ourselves, Uber. You're a transport firm, not a 'digital service'

Detective Emil

Pass the sick bag

Could El Reg possibly translate Uber's nauseating self-serving canned statements into something more easily stomached?

5
0

Fridge killed my baby? Mag-field radiation from household stuff 'boosts miscarriage risk'

Detective Emil
Boffin

Re: Screening out other issues?

Well, reading the paper, the authors simply cite three other papers which they say established that magnetic field exposure was not much affected by a variety of other factors. Given that these may be among the studies that produced unclear results because of the non-availability of adequate measuring equipment, it's not clear to me that this issue has been adequately addressed. OTOH, sloppy work does not (usually) get taken up by Nature.

10
0

The North remembers: York scraps Uber's licence over data breach

Detective Emil

No humblebrag?

Wow! Is York so unimportant that Uber does not consider it worth having its PR group cook up a mess of marketingspeak in response. You know the sort of thing: helping local economy, thousands of satisfied riders, work together to address this small misunderstanding …

17
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ML fails: Loyalty prediction? Not really. And bonus prediction? Oh dear

Detective Emil

Too bad …

… Wetherspoons was already on my sh*t list, so I don't get that flicker of smug satisfaction for adding them on reading this. Well, except that I now know that, by not being a customer at all, I arguably cause less front-line damage than by patronising the outfit.

3
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It's 2017 – and your Windows PC can be forced to run malware-stuffed Excel macros

Detective Emil
Facepalm

It's 2017, and El Reg is still using this tired trope

Such headlines duly added to block list.

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23

User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

Detective Emil

Re: It finally happened.

My outfit is aggressively reequipping with all-in-one desktops…

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Google on flooding the internet with fake news: Leave us alone, we're trying really hard... *sob*

Detective Emil

We asked Google to comment, but …

I wonder why that ritually-included line was missing from the story. Maybe, like the rest of us, Kieren does not know the spells and incantations required actually to get in touch with a real person at Google, rather than some algorithm for which a spokesperson may later disclaim responsibility in a press release if its actions are more than usually crass. Or maybe tagging a piece as "opinion" absolves the author from seeking a response.

0
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Google reveals rapid Bluetooth gadget connection tech

Detective Emil

Re: Seen a demo

Umm, surely the hidden agenda is for Google to know where you are, what device you have, and, given the nature of that device, what you're up to.

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How to make your HTML apps suck less, actually make some money

Detective Emil
Meh

Kool-Aid duly drunk

Google wants you to make web apps because, unlike native apps, their content can be crawled.

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MEPs vote to update 'cookie law' despite ad industry pressure

Detective Emil

"Let me know how much you're paying for El Reg content"

If El Reg were to give me a means of coughing up, I'd probably do it.

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UK Treasury Committee chairman calls on Equifax to answer for breach omnishambles

Detective Emil
Thumb Up

Re: This will continue.......

Agreed. Although victims of enormous breaches who get sued do tend eventuallly to call in third-party forensic teams at vast expense so as to have an assesment of the damage that has a chance of standing up in court. These teams tend to find that the problem was even bigger than first thought, and the information, if released at all, is released late on Friday on the west coast.

3
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European Patent Office's document churning snatches Germany's attention: 'We are concerned about quality'

Detective Emil
Holmes

But at least one government subsequently picked apart that report …

Follow-up on that interesting aside, please: I can't find anything about it with a quick search.

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BoJo, don't misuse stats then blurt disclaimers when you get rumbled

Detective Emil

Quite. What has the EU ever done for us?

[YouTube].

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