* Posts by Detective Emil

185 posts • joined 10 Feb 2010

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What's all the C Plus Fuss? Bjarne Stroustrup warns of dangerous future plans for his C++

Detective Emil

Visit the Vasa!

If you're in Stockholm, visit the Vasa. I did, thinking I'd be in and out in a couple of hours. I was there all day.

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Intel chip flaw: Math unit may spill crypto secrets to apps – modern Linux, Windows, BSDs immune

Detective Emil
Devil

FreeBSD (et al?)

The article does not mention FreeBSD. The maintainers seem to on the case. Presumably this will filter through to macOS sometime soon, though Apple has said nothing AFAICT. (Strange for El Reg to miss the opportunity to snipe at this.)

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Presto chango, crypto buyo: You're travelling like El Reg's gang of nerds

Detective Emil

Specifically, your plan fails to account for

( ) Public reluctance to accept weird new forms of money

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Doc 'Cluetrain' Searls' privacy engine project is just the ticket for IEEE

Detective Emil

Which do I trust more?

The IEEE or Elon Musk? …

Boy, that was easy.

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Oz sports’ pee-samplers outed buying Cellebrite phone-crack kit

Detective Emil

Two years go it might have been reasonable to doubt …

How long was it that governments kept on buying explosives detectors based on golf-ball finders? (Not, ISTR, quite as long as the vendor got in jail, but anyway …)

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Boffins detect antimatter thundering down from Hurricane Patricia

Detective Emil

To boldly blow …

Looking forward to Star Trek: Discovery episode where the ship has to dive into a hurricane to recharge its antimatter banks. Or maybe they're using a multi-cluster quark drive by now.

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Signal app guru Moxie: Facebook is like Exxon. Everyone needs it, everyone despises it

Detective Emil

What the heck is an 'ethicist'

I'm bound to inform you that I am not qualified to answer that question, but monster.com (for example) has 40 pages of open positions for them (including at the IMF).

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Detective Emil

"[M]y friends simply let me know … by … dropping me an email"

Often using Gmail. Gthanks. That means Google gets to scrape information about me, even though I do not use its mail service. They said that they would stop dong this before the end of last year, but the current terms of service (from last October) say that they're still at it.

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France wants you to put lights and beacons on your drone

Detective Emil
Black Helicopters

[W]hat about those bent on aerial mischief?

May I refer you to Dedrone, who would love to discuss your particular requirements. Apple is already suspected to be using something of this sort — see the uploader's comment on this YouTube flyover video.

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An easy-breezy attitude to sharing personal data is the only thing keeping the app economy alive

Detective Emil

And the alternative?

From time to time, I've suggested that, if El Reg were to ask me for money, I'd cough up. But the option's not on offer. Instead, as I write this, I get to see an ad for the Barbie collection * from £10 *. Still, at least this gives me a warm feeling that I'm being mistargeted.

(What? No Richie Rich icon?)

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Fancy owning a two-seat Second World War Messerschmitt fighter?

Detective Emil
Headmaster

"starting at $6m plus VAT"

Just a moment: this tedious document says sales of military aircraft are exempt. I don't expect the auctioneer's premium is, though.

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Murdoch to Zuckerberg: Cough up cash, nerd

Detective Emil

Zuck to Murdoch

"Great idea! We've taken it on board: FB will pay trustworthy news providers for content. None of your platforms qualifies."

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NHS OKs offshoring patient data to cloud providers stateside

Detective Emil
Big Brother

Re: So...

Coincidentally, I got a mailshot from Schrems this morning to tell me about his current vehicle, myob.eu, and asking for a bung.

3
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Don't panic... but our fragile world is drifting away from the Sun

Detective Emil

One for the Reg Standards Bureau

Well, well, well. Something else that grows on the order of 30mm/year. Others are the moon's orbit and the width of the Atlantic. And fingernails. So may I propose a new Reg Standard for low velocity, namely fingernails per annum?

Incidentally, this concurrence of orbital growth means that the Moon's closest approach to the Sun remains unchanged, even as the Earth drifts away.

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Apple iPhone X: Two weeks in the life of an anxious user

Detective Emil

Re: I hate iOS - but......

Give iMazing a try. Not as horrible as iTunes, but not (anything like) free either. They've got a guide.

Alternatively, copy files to iCloud drive on Mac or PC (supposing you have enough iCloud space for them), then, in iPad Files app, select files once they've downloaded and use Copy to VLC action. That done, you can delete them from iCloud drive. All in all, about as bad as using iTunes …

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Detective Emil
Facepalm

Re: "Like I say, there’s no user guide to tell you what all the icons means."

Fair point. To get answers to most of the questions that you raise*, you need to download "iPhone User Guide for iOS 11.2" using the phone's iBooks app. The guide even helpfully tells you to do that on page 20. Shame that there's nothing in the box along these lines, as I'd guess that 90% of buyers never find out.

* Swipes on page 8, icons on page … 95. And that's still with 32 pages to go in Basics.

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Woo-yay, Meltdown CPU fixes are here. Now, Spectre flaws will haunt tech industry for years

Detective Emil
Black Helicopters

Re: 'Intel is in denial'

Here's the icon your post needs, but which, understandably posting as A.C., you were unable to use.

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We translated Intel's crap attempt to spin its way out of CPU security bug PR nightmare

Detective Emil
Thumb Up

More deconstructions of PR flim-flam, please

I realise that El Reg has skin in the game on this one, but there's so much stuff out there just waiting to be mauled. Uber's humblebrags offer a prime target; AirBnB emitted something that made my stomach heave yesterday … Disruption? Hah! All these outfits disrupt is my digestion.

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European court: Let's not kid ourselves, Uber. You're a transport firm, not a 'digital service'

Detective Emil

Pass the sick bag

Could El Reg possibly translate Uber's nauseating self-serving canned statements into something more easily stomached?

5
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Fridge killed my baby? Mag-field radiation from household stuff 'boosts miscarriage risk'

Detective Emil
Boffin

Re: Screening out other issues?

Well, reading the paper, the authors simply cite three other papers which they say established that magnetic field exposure was not much affected by a variety of other factors. Given that these may be among the studies that produced unclear results because of the non-availability of adequate measuring equipment, it's not clear to me that this issue has been adequately addressed. OTOH, sloppy work does not (usually) get taken up by Nature.

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The North remembers: York scraps Uber's licence over data breach

Detective Emil

No humblebrag?

Wow! Is York so unimportant that Uber does not consider it worth having its PR group cook up a mess of marketingspeak in response. You know the sort of thing: helping local economy, thousands of satisfied riders, work together to address this small misunderstanding …

17
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ML fails: Loyalty prediction? Not really. And bonus prediction? Oh dear

Detective Emil

Too bad …

… Wetherspoons was already on my sh*t list, so I don't get that flicker of smug satisfaction for adding them on reading this. Well, except that I now know that, by not being a customer at all, I arguably cause less front-line damage than by patronising the outfit.

3
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It's 2017 – and your Windows PC can be forced to run malware-stuffed Excel macros

Detective Emil
Facepalm

It's 2017, and El Reg is still using this tired trope

Such headlines duly added to block list.

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23

User asked help desk to debug a Post-it Note that survived a reboot

Detective Emil

Re: It finally happened.

My outfit is aggressively reequipping with all-in-one desktops…

3
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Google on flooding the internet with fake news: Leave us alone, we're trying really hard... *sob*

Detective Emil

We asked Google to comment, but …

I wonder why that ritually-included line was missing from the story. Maybe, like the rest of us, Kieren does not know the spells and incantations required actually to get in touch with a real person at Google, rather than some algorithm for which a spokesperson may later disclaim responsibility in a press release if its actions are more than usually crass. Or maybe tagging a piece as "opinion" absolves the author from seeking a response.

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Google reveals rapid Bluetooth gadget connection tech

Detective Emil

Re: Seen a demo

Umm, surely the hidden agenda is for Google to know where you are, what device you have, and, given the nature of that device, what you're up to.

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How to make your HTML apps suck less, actually make some money

Detective Emil
Meh

Kool-Aid duly drunk

Google wants you to make web apps because, unlike native apps, their content can be crawled.

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MEPs vote to update 'cookie law' despite ad industry pressure

Detective Emil

"Let me know how much you're paying for El Reg content"

If El Reg were to give me a means of coughing up, I'd probably do it.

16
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UK Treasury Committee chairman calls on Equifax to answer for breach omnishambles

Detective Emil
Thumb Up

Re: This will continue.......

Agreed. Although victims of enormous breaches who get sued do tend eventuallly to call in third-party forensic teams at vast expense so as to have an assesment of the damage that has a chance of standing up in court. These teams tend to find that the problem was even bigger than first thought, and the information, if released at all, is released late on Friday on the west coast.

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European Patent Office's document churning snatches Germany's attention: 'We are concerned about quality'

Detective Emil
Holmes

But at least one government subsequently picked apart that report …

Follow-up on that interesting aside, please: I can't find anything about it with a quick search.

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BoJo, don't misuse stats then blurt disclaimers when you get rumbled

Detective Emil

Quite. What has the EU ever done for us?

[YouTube].

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How to stop Facebook and Apple taking over the mobile phone industry

Detective Emil
Paris Hilton

Gnomic analysis

1. Provide storage and compute power closer to the edge of the mobile network.

2. ???

3. Profit!!!

The thing about Facebook is that it is a service that billions* of people want to use. There's no way that it's going to migrate its storage and smarts out of its own data centers to kit controlled by carriers who, given the chance, are every bit as rapacious at it is.

The missing step is to replace those question marks with some killer app to supplant FB and capture those billions of users — and of dollars. The carriers' record of being able only to encumber phones with unwanted crapware does not inspire confidence.

* Well, according to FB's reach figures [Reuters], at least.

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Sonos will deny updates to those who snub rewritten privacy terms

Detective Emil
Thumb Up

Re: Nobody actually read what they said in the blog post...

+1 (or modern equivalent).

Having a European level of suspicion about such things, I did actually read through the whole policy (while listening to Farming Today on a Sonos …), and it seems pretty reasonable as these things go. So I duly ticked the box.

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What'll we do tonight, Kieran? Same thing we do every night, Tintri....

Detective Emil

The story seems to be missing this (YouTube) link.

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Oh no, EE! More UK mobile customers face sluggish roaming abroad

Detective Emil

Re: What about the UK?

Well, EE has tooted its horn about temporarily increased coverage for Glastonbury this year. If you can fight your way through the flacks, you or your event's organisers might be able to get them to do something similar for you.

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Detective Emil

Anecdotally …

Well, here I am in a founder-member EU country, just having returned from France and Switzerland. 4G roaming everywhere. Well, except where unavailable, like tunnels through the alps (where one can still make 2G phone calls). No sneaky out-of-plan charges either. So maybe this pettiness is just a UK thing.

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Kill something, then hire cleaners to mop up the blood if you want to build a digital business

Detective Emil
Mushroom

Oi!

Look what you've done to my buzzword detector.

16
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Zero accidents, all of your data – what The Reg learnt at Bosch's autonomous car bash

Detective Emil
Thumb Down

Who pays?

Bet all this wonderful data-sucking infrastructure's going to cost the car-owning punters just as much as they save on insurance.

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Well, that escalated quickly: Qualcomm demands iPhone, iPad sales ban in America

Detective Emil

IANAL

The FTC is investigating Qualcom for possible monopolistic practices involving, inter alia, “an anticompetitive tax on the use of rivals’ processors”. There’s also a good chance that, if Intel considered that it needed to use the techniques described in Qualcom's patents in its baseband silicon, it licensed them, so exhausting Qualcom’s right to collect on its IP. Consequently, I don’t think this is likely to fly at the ITC. (If Intel hasn’t licensed the patents, yet is infringing, it could be argued that this is a result of different anticompetitive behaviour suspected by the FTC, namely that Qualcom “refuses to license standard-essential patents to competitors” — although Qualcom is careful to claim that these particular patents are not SE). And yes, Qualcom could go after Intel if it hasn’t licensed the patents, but patent law means it can go after whom the hell it likes (or, in this case, dislikes more).

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Time to rethink machine learning: The big data gobble is OFF the menu

Detective Emil

I get this feeling of déjà vu …

Google Ngrams shows that Artificial Intelligence enjoyed a vogue in the late eighties, neural networks in the mid nineties. The graphs don't show mentions of Machine Learning rising much, because Google hasn't added to the Big data behind them since 2008. But, if it does, and if I run this query again in 2010, I'm sure the pattern will repeat.

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Western Digital bares fangs in $1bn Toshiba lawsuit

Detective Emil
Headmaster

Legal question

Is it possible for a claim to be frivolous, but nevertheless have merit? Or not to be frivolous, yet still be meritless?

1
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Murdoch's £11.7bn Sky takeover referred to competition regulator

Detective Emil

Re: An Empire....

The Premier League challenged the pub landlady in using a Greek TV Decoder, and i am not sure where the £8,000 fines came from.

Ah. That's copyright. A related bucket of sulphuric acid, but one for which the blame cannot entirely be laid at Murdoch's door. Which isn't to say that his companies don't milk it for all it's worth, and don't lobby against its weakening. (By, for example, the European Union. Don't worry: Blighty will soon be free of all that.)

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America throws down gauntlet: Accept extra security checks or don't carry laptops on flights

Detective Emil
Paris Hilton

Paris Agreement

Glad to see the Trump administration doing its bit to reduce global warming by cutting demand for long-haul flights.

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Google hit with record antitrust fine of €2.4bn by Europe

Detective Emil
Meh

With friends like these …

The full list of outfits egging Commissioner Vestager on: Disconnect, Inc., Getty Images, Inc., News Corporation, News Media Alliance, Oracle Corporation, Trip.com, and Yelp Inc. There's not an anticompetitive bone in any of their bodies, I'm sure.

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Report estimates cost of disruption to GPS in UK would be £1bn per day

Detective Emil

Re: Why not..

The key word is "augmented": if the satellites go down, there's nothing to augment.

I must admit that, on seeing this story, I though that the undead eLORAN proposal had again risen from its coffin. And, sure enough, if one follows the links in the article, the full report turns out to discuss (even-handedly) it at some length as one possible fall-back.

4
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Samsung releases 49-inch desktop monitor with 32:9 aspect ratio

Detective Emil

Re: weighs 45 pounds

Well, the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Samsung-Screen-LED-Lit-Monitor-LC49HG90DMNXZA/dp/B072C7TNC5/ref=sr_1_1”>Amazon link I found says the “item weight” is 33 pounds (still not light), so the larger figure includes packaging, the odd cable, inadequate printed docs and maybe a power brick.

4
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Giffgaff 'roam like at home' package means £1/min calls in Jersey

Detective Emil
Meh

"Most powerful"?

It Would Be Nice if it could be explained by what measure this satellite is the "most poweful". El Reg is far from alone in not saying, but hey, this is El Reg. Do tell!

0
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WannaCrypt: Pwnage is a fact of life but cleanup could and should be way easier

Detective Emil
Unhappy

Re: Throw the monkey from your back people. It CAN be done...

Munich? On thin and melting ice. I can't find any English coverage of the outcome of the February vote mentioned in the article, but here's a long piece in German. Or Google Translate.

4
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Vigorous tiny vibrations help our universe swell, say particle boffins

Detective Emil
Boffin

That paper has 214 equations!

A document containing 214 equations should have a readership of 2^-213 times that of Hawking's A Brief History of Time. That's um, about 10^-57.

2
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Microsoft sparks new war with Google with, er, $999+ lappies for kids

Detective Emil

Wake me up …

… when they get to the part about "telemetry".

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