* Posts by Sgt_Oddball

649 posts • joined 29 Jan 2010

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CompSci boffins find Reddit is ideal source for sarcasm database

Sgt_Oddball
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Trollface

Who said Americans don't understand sarcasm?

People who do...

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HMRC beer duty bungle leaves breweries struggling to pay online

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: Clearly this tax change has taken all the devs by surprise

On the plus side... if they can't do the taxes then maybe we have a shot at immortality after all....

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Prisoners built two PCs from parts, hid them in ceiling, connected to the state's network and did cybershenanigans

Sgt_Oddball
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Devil

Re: The Shawshank Connection

Escape from LA(N)

Prisoner memory block H

Cool SPAM Luke

Old bit

Ok I'm done...

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Hasta la Windows Vista, baby! It's now officially dead – good riddance

Sgt_Oddball
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I'd bee to differ

Despite all the hate against win8 I found it worked much better than Vista on the same machine. Though circumstantial I doubt I'm the only one. Win 7 though looks to the next xp and really it was a massive system pack so it's still sort of with us (see the kernal versions Vista 6, win7 6.1 and win8 6.2)

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Official science we knew all along: Facebook makes you sad :-(

Sgt_Oddball
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Pint

No mention of...

Using Facebook to organise a meeting of a group of close friends... that must really mess the figures up.

(Having recently partook in stag do organised via Facebook and arranging a whiskey meet up for this weekend I can attest that both of these have/Will improve(d) my mood no end though drinking May also have played a part..)

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Boeing 737 turns 50

Sgt_Oddball
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Paris Hilton

Re: if it ain't broken

This is most likely the case a reasonable assumption but assumptions cam wrong and the simple reporting of figures can give implications when given without clarifcation and would probably require more reading than in currently prepared to give it of idle curiosity .

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Sgt_Oddball
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Paris Hilton

if it ain't broken

Don't fix...

Dad to hear of the number of accidents and fatalities but you have to wonder how many of those where human error rather than design flaws? In the same way that very popular cars have a high number of deaths involved with them does not make them inherently accident prone or unsafe.

Enquiring minds and all that

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Machine vs. machine battle has begun to de-fraud the internet of lies

Sgt_Oddball
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Trollface

So what about?

Chaos is bad for business.

So how do you explain the daliymail.co.uk? Or fourchan, they both thrive and survive on chaos surely?

(Also the chaos that is the commentard community is a big draw for me personally, helping me view ads for the register directly but that's my own bias simply explained)

That said... Don't feed the trolls....

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Boaty McBoatface sinks in South Atlantic on her maiden deployment

Sgt_Oddball
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Coat

of abysml water masses

The waters not that bad surely?

Mines the yellow sou'esters with the pocket radio set to the shipping forecast...

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Crafty Fokker: Norfolk surgeon builds Red Baron triplane replica

Sgt_Oddball
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I remember the wings game on amiga having a reference to just such a problem and advising not to fly just after a hearty breakfast...

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Londoners will be trialling driverless cars in pedestrianised area

Sgt_Oddball
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Trollface

Keep death off the roads!

Drive on the pavement

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US border cops must get warrants to search citizens' gadgets – draft bipartisan law emerges

Sgt_Oddball
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Coat

Re: Another political 'feel-good' move

I'm a bit unsure what the correct answers would be anyway.

That's easy... admit you like to grab em' by the pussy.

Mines the one with the tickets to Canada...

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Startup remotely 'bricks' grumpy bloke's IoT car garage door – then hits reverse gear

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: Remote Garage Door opener

As well as 6 points on your licence in the UK unless you stop the car and turn off the engine before operating the phone.

That said my car has Bluetooth surely the car itself could be used for this sort of thing?

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Mac Pro update: Apple promises another pricey thing it will no doubt abandon after a year

Sgt_Oddball
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how many...

Apple pro users wanted some thing so compact?

What was so wrong with the old g5 power Mac/ mac pro case?

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Optical boffins tweak antennae with photons so MIMO can make WiFi serve more masters

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: This is astonishing.

Quite a few since they were instrumental in developing WiFi (including some of the first patents which still form the fundamentals of making WiFi work) though admittedly it was byproduct of looking for black holes with radio telescopes

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Microsoft wants screaming Windows fans, not just users

Sgt_Oddball
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Childcatcher

2 pence worth

I think they're looking for that same zeal that Mac users have but they seem to be missing the point. An OS is a tool. It is not meant to be loved worshipped and adored, it's just meant to work nothing more and certainly nothing less.

And as for Bieber...no just no

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Cheap, flimsy, breakable and replaceable – yup, Ikea, you'll be right at home in the IoT world

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: Why?

They can have the wine.. Its the liquor cabinet I'm worried about.

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USA can afford golf for Trump. Can't afford .com for FBI infosec service

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: just you wait...

No David ford (Requiem)

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Sgt_Oddball
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just you wait...

Every administration blames through one from last year.

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Trump's America looks like a lousy launchpad, so can you dig Darwin?

Sgt_Oddball
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Paris Hilton

and I'm just here...

Waiting to hear when LOHAN will get launched

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Squirrel sinks teeth into SAN cabling, drives Netadmin nuts

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: SAN?

I think you're thinking of a NAS same letters but less advanced.

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Error prone, insecure, inevitable: Say hello to today's facial recog tech

Sgt_Oddball
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125 million...

Of which only about 5% are in prison or on parole. That's a hell of a lot of people who really probably shouldn't be in that data base.

It also doesn't state if that includes foreign nationals or passport photos or clearly denies those either.

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Large Hadron Collider turns up five new particles

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: This is the stuff that binds Quarks together

shed more light on how strong forces works I thought we were talking particles not photons?

Mines the one with the black hole Ineed the pocket....

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Beijing deploys facial scanners to counter public toilet abuse

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: six squares ?

And I thought my 4 year old daughter was bad (she uses about a third over a day)

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BOFH: Don't back up in anger

Sgt_Oddball
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Outlook had never been good.....well not since they used word to render html in it anyway

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Sgt_Oddball
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Devil

Never

Bullshit a bullshiter....

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Judge issues search warrant for anyone who Googled a victim's name

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: but what if..

More like the family name is concentrated in Yorkshire (as in there's less outside than in. Happens when you can track the name back to one individual).

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Sgt_Oddball
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but what if..

Hey have a name like Dave Gorman? There's at least 52 of them about...

I also know my own name is rare but there's at least 5 that live within 50 miles of me(one owns a fish and chip restaurant that I keep meaning to try out).

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Hell freezes over: We wrote an El Reg chatbot using Microsoft's AI

Sgt_Oddball
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Paris Hilton

need any help?

It looks like you're trying to welcome a new robotic overlord, would you like some help with that?

Also.... how well would this bot behave to insults?

Paris because she probably still smarter

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60 slow-mo A-bomb test videos explode onto YouTube

Sgt_Oddball
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Mushroom

kubrik would have loved these...

Or how I learned to love the bomb....

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Canada's privacy watchdog probes US border phone seizures

Sgt_Oddball
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Joke

the salesman in me smells an opportunity....

Want to keep your data out of the hands of the yanks? Remote desktop is the answer!

(Yes I'm aware they can be hacked too. Irony alert and all that but at least you don't have to hand it over at the border and your local laws tend to frown on unauthorised access*

*subject to your local laws natch.)

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The gospel according to Blockchain, or is it the other way round?

Sgt_Oddball
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Paris Hilton

Does this mean though...

That if blockchains are compute and network intensive that as more data is added it becomes uneconomical to continue to hold onto the data? Especially if the data is rapidly changing as well as increasing in size (I thought that was one of the limitations of bitcoin that it was of a finite size for the initial data that the blockchain revolves around?) Surely then if it's in a constant state of flux and increasing in size the overheads would become exponential?

I might however be totally wrong in any of those assumptions so I'm happy to be corrected.

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Success in the bedroom breeds success in the boardroom – research

Sgt_Oddball
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Coat

further research required.

I'll ask the wife......

Mines the white lab coat with the durex I the pockets.

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Mars orbiter FLOORS IT to avoid hitting MOON

Sgt_Oddball
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Flame

humm?

Is that?....

Oh crap..!?

*out gasses*

*Glides past with minutes to spare*

And let's not speak of this again.....

-MAVEN probe

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Palmtop nostalgia is tinny music to my elephantine ears

Sgt_Oddball
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what you needed dabsy...

Was a HTC desire z. A smart with a nice keyboard to boot. Just a shame they stopped making them because they were too useful to make a new one for a niche market (same with just about all truly different android mobes).

I've still got mine too but they batteries are shot so it lasts enough to start but that's about as good as it gets.

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BONG! Lasers crack Big Ben frequency riddle BONG! No idea what to do with this info BONG!

Sgt_Oddball
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Holmes

Which makes me wonder just what it sounded like undamaged... enquiring minds and all that.

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Sgt_Oddball
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Re: huzzah!

In my defence, I was trying to type out the response on my way into work this morning on the bus and missed that one from the auto correct (it's hard enough adding the link in).

Come on reg - let us add icons in the mobile view (since the full site's font is tiny on a mobile)

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Sgt_Oddball
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Coat

huzzah!

It's been far too long since I read such a contemptuous article from el reg. Almost back to the good old days of getting put on the naughty list for attempting to inform lord jobs how to say words. Available in the archieves for those of a disbelieving nature.

Now on that note.... get of my lawn! *grumble, grumble*

Mines the one with the werthers ordinals in the pocket.

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Java? Nah, I do JavaScript, man. Wise up, hipster, to the money

Sgt_Oddball
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Thumb Up

I can't recommend this enough

I've been doing web deving for getting on 10 years (on and off... there was the liquor merchant job for a year that gave me a different perspective and actively encouraged drinking on the job) and as a generalist jobs were pretty much static with not much head room for pay increases.

Cue 6 months ago I changed to UI development on Java (from ASP/ASP.NET/.NET, a flirt with PHP and starting to tinker with node) and it's been the best decision I've made in a long time. Doubled my pay (seriously how often does that sort of opportunity come up?) and i'm enjoying working again as part of team rather than being a dogs body trying to cover everything. In the meantime ontop of UI/Front end duties I've been tinkering with Java as well and have been supported by other team members to learn more as well as being massively surprised with the volume of modern tooling that works well (mostly..YMMV) with Java considering it's vintage (I'm using it for web development, anything over 3 years is usually considered worthy of museums..apart from IE6/7/8/9/10.. there's a special place in hell reserved for that instead).

So yes, anyone asks, Java. Everything else can be figured out along the way, and I truly wish I'd been taught it sooner.

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Passport and binary tree code, please: CompSci quizzes at US border just business as usual

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: No issues visiting India

Lucky for you....

Last time I went to india was when they introduced face to face interviews for visas. Bradford had the local surgery for this and it was open for 4 hours only. Cue massive queues and travel agents booking in 50 at a time.

In the end had to drive down to Nottingham at 5 In the morning to get a good spot (we weren't the first inline) and a ban of more than 4 visas at once enacted we finally got that sorted.

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Uber: Please don't give our London drivers English tests. You can work out the reason why

Sgt_Oddball
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Holmes

Re: thoughts just occurred...

If they're not cabbies they sure as hell look like them up here in warmest west Yorkshire...(for the record all taxis and private hire have to have a registered number, show credentials and provide other identification when asked by a fare. I've seen these all been carried by uber cabs. Henceforth I shall stick with calling them a cabbie under the duck quacking rules of simplicity. )

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Sgt_Oddball
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Holmes

thoughts just occurred...

If these drivers have a tenuous grasp of the English tongue *slippy and spit covered as it is* how do they even hold a UK driving licence that should be the barest minimum qualification for being a cabbie, no?

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Sgt_Oddball
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Trollface

but!

You all forget that uber is special flower, a bastion of the sharing economy (what's yours is mine and what's mine is mine also...) and as such laws to protect drivers/passengers/anyone that isn't uber should be ignored by us.

And if uber can't ignore them then they'll be sad and annoyed and throw toys of the of the pram because we should be allowed to do things how we want because we're disruptive like that.

Maybe one day uber will grow up enough to swallow their pride but I'm not holding my breath

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In a loving tribute to its fiery washing machines and Note 7... Samsung management explodes

Sgt_Oddball
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Paris Hilton

I thought

That lobbiests were pretty much the very essence of bribery?

I mean how many times have we heard of a high level case like this that didn't involve lobbiests?

Enquiring minds and all that.

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AWS's S3 outage was so bad Amazon couldn't get into its own dashboard to warn the world

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: Am I Getting Old?

They don't but marketers saw something shiny d and demanded it.

Pretty sure there's whole years of dilbert comics dedicated to this very issue.

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Lap(top) of luxury: Porsche Design revs up 2-in-1 Windows 10 slab

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: Built in Taiwan

That reminds me of a FIAT billboard from the 80's:

Designed on computer

Built by robots

Often with the ammendment in spray paint:

Driven by a moron.

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New prison law will let UK mobile networks deploy IMSI catchers

Sgt_Oddball
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just realised..

My phone can do WiFi calling. If the lags can get WiFi then this tool can be neatly gotten round (or use a voip service like Skype ect. ) then what? Legal calls to monitor voip calls?

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Sgt_Oddball
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how about..

Those who live near a prison? Would they end being asked all the time to account for their phones? (Armley jail in Leeds for example has a wall next to private houses) you'd have to be very careful to ensure it captures only phones inside the designated areas.

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BOFH: Elf of Safety? Orc of Admin. Pleased to meet you

Sgt_Oddball
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Re: Reminds me

Just you wait till a power failure requires the room to restart.

Dust, noise... (smoke even one time)... and that's before the day to day rats nest of cables strung across the room and floor on top of the stacked late 90s hp laser jet printers.

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Mysterious Gmail account lockouts prompt hack fears

Sgt_Oddball
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I was wondering about that

Had to dig out my email password since add with others I use it for accessing Google services and occasionally testing sending emails to a Google account.

All pc based sign insurance worked just done but had to redo the phone. I could be that the phone level cookies got expired on masse and that's what caused it but I'm not holding my breath for a quick (if at all) explanation from Google.

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