Re: causing risk of serious damage to human welfare/national security
"Pay no attention to those men dressed as undertakers waiting in a hearse round the corner from your house."
"Arrived today, made very welcome..."
915 posts • joined 27 Jan 2010
"Pay no attention to those men dressed as undertakers waiting in a hearse round the corner from your house."
"Arrived today, made very welcome..."
Was that not the period when your data centre could be ruined by Vikings raiding the monastery and burning down the scriptorium?
A time when an execution failure usually meant an incompetent axeman, and secure storage solutions often involved a portcullis.
It's the doublet and hose.
"... sunset, not dawn."
That's still pretty well "on time" in government circles.
Besides they need to get the "P666 Dawn Raid Approval Form" signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters, before the raid can go ahead.
I presume that Google's involvement means that that the first few results displayed are actually adverts...
"Compare prices on plasma"
"Hotels near Tokamak"
"... does this ship look out-dated already? ..."
I suspect that the rearmost island may have been inspired by Professor Farnworth's "Planet Express" delivery ship.
Apparently there's a tunnel, with an entrance close to the embassy, that runs all the way to Heathrow Airport. Perhaps he could be smuggled down that.
It's called the Piccadilly Line, so the "smuggling" bit should be fairly straightforward ...
"do British planes all have tea-making facilities?"
I believe that's what the second hose on the in-flight refuelling tanker is for...
I suspect that if this was in the UK the proposed solution from the defence contractors would be:
"Look, if you feel a bit woozy old chap, just crank open the canopy a little more and breathe deeply."
It's the flying jacket with the goggles and flowing white scarf
"That'll be more like 3 years in prison and £4000 fine plus court costs."
I'm reminded of the man who was arrested outside the gates of Downing Street, in the small hours of the morning, while shouting "All the government are insane".
He was fined £100 for being drunk and disorderly ... and given 25 years for revealing a state secret.
"The ministry did carry out an investigation – and found that the registry was indeed following its rules that require a local court order to take down a domain name."
Perhaps the US could find a
corrupt sympathetic local lawyer or two, and try to get the appropriate court order, or is that creating a dangerous precedent.
In this case both vehicles were being driven by humans, and the accident was a consequence of their actions, or inaction. The level of automation used in one vehicle didn't really change that.
Had the Tesla driver been watching the road and seen the truck, he could have overridden the software by attempting to brake or swerve, and so possibly avoided or at least mitigated the impact.
I suspect that lawyers and insurers will have a field day when there are accidents involving self-driving taxis and the like where technically (or indeed physically) nobody is at the wheel.
A hospice in our area recently needed to repair and refurbish one of their buildings.
Before starting their fundraising they asked some construction firms to quote for the work, and most gave the going rate with a small percentage reduction as they were a charity.
The exception was a long-established local firm who offered to do it for the cost of the materials - which another local firm then supplied free of charge.
Total cost to the hospice - nil, goodwill earned by local firms - immeasurable.
"... the SANs' recovery software was on the SANs themselves ..."
It's nice to know that in this age of clouds and outsourcing, the old basic data security principles have not been overlooked.
Perhaps we should do away with the drone and parachute and instead deliver the packages by harpoon...
FX: Whoosh, thud, distant cry of pain, phone rings
Ahab: "Call me back Ishmael, I've got more deliveries to make."
"...what percentage of sky diving parachutes have suffered some form of malfunction in the past decade."
It's a very hard statistic to collect as, for some reason, very few of the failed-parachute owners ever return them for refund.
"I only answer my cell phone (a nearly ten year old feature phone) if I am expecting a specific prearranged call. I never read texts or get any voice mail on it. Everyone who I would actually want to talk to knows I am not a cell phone person, so they know to use my landline."
I have gone for a different approach to tackling the problem.
My main ring tone on my Android phone is "5s_silence.mp3". Anyone I wish to have call me has their own entry in the address book - with a different ring tone set.
I have simply turned off voicemail; and texts are not generally a problem as, like email, I check them when it is convenient.
I occasionally get people complaining that I'm hard to get hold of, but these are usually people I would rather NOT got hold of me in the first place.
"There should be some serious interlocking going on to prevent two completely different power inputs being connected at the same time to the same load."
As an electrician, the simplest ways I can think of of getting 415 V where 240 V should be; is ether to swap over one phase and the neutral, or to accidentally disconnect the neutral on a 3 phase supply.
The former is almost always an installation error (I took out a bank of lighting when I was an apprentice), while the latter is generally poor design (inappropriately switched neutral) or an equipment failure.
I also seem to recall, (but cannot find*), a news story where a disgruntled employee damaged part of a DC by temporarily disconnecting the neutral.
* I think it was on El Reg 
"... transformed into cards using a manual hand punch, and then the card decks sent ..."
You forgot to mention that the card decks would be dropped or otherwise shuffled by the recipients, both before and after being processed.
Presumably the catering facilities serve "New Coke".
"Less AI, more dialog from an old point-and-click adventure game like The Secret of Monkey Island."
Sounds reasonable - let's try it:
"Why Telford never used the eminently more sensible brontosauri is a mystery lost to time."
I believe it was to avoid NASA-like confusion with the local plesiosaurus unit.
I like the idea of providing non-visual information for the robot car, but I think you would be opening a new can of worms if you gave different signals to the car. In the example you give, neither the "safety driver" nor any non-automatic following vehicles, would expect the robot car to brake for a green signal.
It would perhaps be better, (and simpler from the traffic signal's point of view), to tell robot cars approaching the junction which signals were currently displaying green, and the timings of any upcoming changes. e.g. "now: E to W green, W to E green. in 29s : E to W green, E to N green ...".
That way the car would be able to decide how to handle the junction, without needing to detect the physical traffic lights.
PS While you're doing that don't forget to take down anything relating to cars as they are clearly being used for terrorist purposes. Although, now I think about it, we do make a lot of money taxing vehicles and fuel, so you can leave up any that are not terrorist related - and don't mention Top Gear.
Just to be on the safe side you'd better take down anything related to driving schools as well, as they could be used to train potential terrorists ... Oh and any maps that have roads on them, as they could be useful in planning an attack.
Better scrub anything that relates to religion and politics as well. Terrorists use them to justify their actions, although I suppose some religious and political stuff is OK ... but no bad stuff or any pages that mention 45 minute claims.
Actually this is getting very complicated isn't it - look we'll just send you a list of stuff we like and you can list that instead.
This is just between ourselves, by the way, so don't tell anyone else. If you've any questions just give us a call at the Department of Pandemonium, and we'll send someone round to explain it to you.
"... steel butcher's chill room ..."
I presume that is where a "skilled engineer" like the one who made our custom battery racks, goes to relax after a hard day's bodging.
"Checked in baggage? What the hell ..."
"As a child I grew up in a big house filled with exotic gifts from all round the world. - My father was a baggage handler at the airport."
Milton Jones, Another case of Milton Jones
"It had um, interesting rhythmic devices, too, which seemed to counterpoint the the surrealism of the underlying metaphor of the poet’s compassionate soul which contrived through the medium of the verse structure to sublimate this, transcend that and come to terms with the fundamental dichotomies of the other. And one is left with a profound and vivid insight into whatever it was that the
poem presentation was about!"
With apologies to the late
Dentarthurdent Douglas Adams.
"What made me think about this was that on UFO they had to monitor space around the earth for alien ships..."
Ah yes, A computerised satellite called SID was responsible IIRC.
"... Comey said that America's founding fathers had set down that there is a right to privacy but that the government has a right to intrude in the name of security. It was part of a 200-year old "bargain of ordered liberty," he opined ..."
"Freedom of speech is a principal pillar of a free government; when this support is taken away, the constitution of a free society is dissolved, and tyranny is erected on its ruins." - Benjamin Franklin, 1737
"Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety." - Benjamin Franklin, 1755
Probably used the same destination planning software as the budget airlines.
"We will shortly be landing at
London (Luton) Phoenix (Denver) ..."
"... cock womble ..."
I often wondered if Madame Cholet would be a hen womble with Orinoco and Tomsk being chick wombles.
I believe that the ACME corporation offer a cheaper solution involving a small stick, a piece of string and a large anvil.
It is advisable to wear a hard hat while pulling the string.
I suspect that somewhere on the same campus, someone is teaching the exact opposite of this course.
A colleague of mine had to unexpectedly take over from a sysadmin who was dismissed without notice.
The person concerned had been caught stealing from the company, and my colleague basically got the time it took the police to arrest him and do the paperwork, to lock him out of everything.
It turned out that their former sysadmin had left behind numerous booby-traps (e.g. sending mail to a particular email address would drop database tables) and back-doors on the company's systems. Everything had to be treated as suspect and locked down.
Fortunately the company had realised in advance that dismissing somebody with unrestricted access to their systems was a tricky business, and had made plans accordingly. They also had a long-standing procedure in place for making sure that both their regular backups, and all the key passwords held in the CEO's safe, actually worked.
"My company stopped us taking laptops etc. years ago ..."
A friend of mine recently spent a few extra hours at a US airport.
An official apparently decided that it was "deeply suspicious" that she was arriving for a five day business visit, with no electronic gadgets, and only one carry-on bag...
"He setup a business"
So he did - "; DROP TABLE "COMPANIES";-- LTD"
That's brilliant, just brilliant!
"... undergoing repairs after ramming a civilian tanker ..."
"... I don't know how many of you men know this, but the Codfish holds the record for the most Japanese tonnage sunk. Being comprised of five freighters and fifteen aircraft carriers. A truly enviable record. Unfortunately, they were sunk in 1954. However, it stands as the largest peacetime tonnage ever sunk ..."
Cruise of the USS Codfish - Bob Newhart
"... allegedly stole secret and top-secret software and documents from American intelligence agencies for up to 20 years ..."
Twenty years, you say? Just a suggestion folks, but you might wish to review your security procedures a little.
I wonder how many contractors have taken classified documents during that period, and not been caught.
"Do you believe this man could be UK's 22nd richest man if he was nice, fair and respectful of others?"
It depends on your definition of "rich"...
"There is no wealth but life. Life, including all its powers of love, of joy, and of admiration. That country is the richest which nourishes the greatest numbers of noble and happy human beings; that man is richest, who, having perfected the functions of his own life to the utmost, has also the widest helpful influence, both personal, and by means of his possessions, over the lives of others."
John Ruskin, Unto This Last (1860)
Isaac Asimov proposed the "Helen" as a measure of beauty.
One millihelen being sufficient beauty to launch a single ship.
I feel that Eddie Izzard would make a good Doctor.
He's played some wonderful parts (such as "Torrence" in Day of the Triffids), over the years, many with that dark, ambiguous edge needed by the Doctor.
Many years ago some magazine  ran a competition for messages to put in fortune cookies.
"Help! I'm a prisoner in a cookie factory" and "That wasn't chicken" rated highly, but the outright winner was ...
"Do not place your faith in fortune cookies."
"Evil genius engineer didn't fuck with us by removing screws - oh no. The bastard used to add a few... now thats evil."
Wow that's evil, twisted and ... er ... adopted.
Have you tried routing your VPN through seven proxies?
I have a couple of standard responses to technical questions asked by people who would need a lot of background explanation to understand the answer.
These answers are usually accepted, but failing that they get the full, detailed explanation. Whereupon their "brain saver" usually cuts in after a few seconds.
"Social psychologists believe that, following the logic of medical vaccines, the public can be “inoculated” against misinformation."
So, using the same "logic", it follows that being shot with a small calibre pistol, makes you immune to shellfire.
If they will believe that, then I have a bridge they might be interested in ...
"Learn-to-code site Code.org is apologising to its students ..."
At least they didn't say that "lessons had been learned" in their blog post ...
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