Raising the baa ...
"rammed through the law" ... "Probably feeling a bit sheepish now"
I see what ewe did there.
1297 publicly visible posts • joined 27 Jan 2010
Nowadays the perpetrators would simply be interviewed to find out what their motives were, and who they were working with.
Following those discussions, concrete proposals would be set out on how the persons involved could become useful members of society.
A supporting role in highway development might well be suggested at this point ...
"I think pretty much all attempts to measure the productivity of software development have failed.
I worked on a contract where the project manager decided that such productivity could be measured by counting the number of semicolons in the source code, and got someone to write him a script to do so.
Soon after this edict, function description blocks started becoming outlined in semicolons rather than asterisks. Two blocks a day was the informally agreed rate among developers IIRC.
I'm reminded of a PHB who, needing to pin up a chart in his newly refurbished office, borrowed a contractor's Paslode nailer while he was at lunch. Like most nailers the machine will not operate unless it is in contact with a surface - an important safety feature for something that can pin battens to steel girders.
The PHB didn't know this so when he "test fired" it nothing happened. Thinking it was broken he patted the business end ...
"There will be an expensive contract to develop a phone scanner that will tell an officer whether someone has veilid or any other prohibited software on their phone."
Followed quickly by discovering that, because of inadequate field testing by the contractor, a common app accidentality confuses the scanner and produce a lot of false positives.
After the first few high-profile false arrests, smart lawyers would ... [continued p94]
A few years ago a newspaper* in the UK ran a competition to find the most revolting drink that could be made from ingredients found behind the bar of a typical pub.
I can't remember the exact recipe of the winner, but it used the liquid from the jar of pickled eggs ...
* OK it was a long time ago.
I wonder if anyone has actually done a study in to how many actual sales result from targeted advertising, compared to the scattergun variety?
I presume there must be some sort of benefit to the advertiser given the time, trouble and expense required to compile the targetting data.
Perhaps only the companies selling the advertising space benefit from this.
Just in case there are any advertisers reading this, may I politely point out that it is extremely unlikely I will need another washing machine until the one I recently bought keels over. I mention this as you appear to assume I am some sort of manic washing machine enthusiast who is anxious to complete their collection.
Many years ago I was working for the consultancy arm of a large OS supplier. We were working at the head office of an insurance company and our team occupied half a floor of the tower block.
One morning an officious person from HR appeared, shoving papers in front of everyone present and demanding they sign them "at once" on pain of being escorted from the building.
Our boss intercepted her as she was about half way round the room. He took the remaining papers from her and read one while she got more and more annoyed.
He eventually handed back the papers saying, "You clearly are unaware who we are or what we are doing. Please gather up the rest of the papers, then go and do some basic research."
She didn't return.
"So what would happen if there was an actual air raid at noon on the first Wednesday of the month?"
I worked in a building where on one occasion a fire in the switchroom had been discovered by the person sent there to do the weekly fire alarm test.
There was apparently some difficulty getting people to evacuate the building, so the rules were changed. When I worked there everyone now had to leave the building when the alarm went off - unless told not to by the fire wardens.
Reminds me of the report into a "spotting" autogyro designed to be towed by a WWI U-boat. The report noted that in an emergency the U-boat crew would cut the towing cable and crash dive.
"The autogyro would then descend into the water and the observer would drown in the usual manner."
I suspect that historians in the next millennium may well consider the current era as a new "Dark Age", given that almost every piece of data is now held in digital form, and as such is essentially ephemeral.
I was once asked to write a brief history of a company founded in the late nineteenth century. This was a relatively straightforward task as their cellars were stuffed with ledgers recording the minutes of every board meeting and transaction they had held. The problem was mainly deciding what to leave out.
Today we have systems that retain documents only for the length of time they are needed, in some cases this is even a legal requirement. Very little of day to day life is accidentally saved for posterity. Why backup data you no longer need?
Not all written records survive, of course, but it is easy to delete digital records, while old minute books remain in the storeroom. Just try finding that picture you took with your last phone but three* ...
A thousand years from now, archaeologists will be carefully excavating landfill sites trying to find out what 21st Century life was really like. While popular TV programs will show network technicians in overalls oiling rack after rack of diesel powered servers, in their high concrete towers.
* I remember uploading it, just before the cloud company went bust.
This whole episode will no doubt feature in some future textbook as an example of how NOT to organise an evacuation.
Reading the story here and elsewhere only emphasises the utter disconnect between the frantic efforts of people at the sharp end, and those seated comfortably in the upper echelons of Whitehall, demanding that their procedures must be followed.
That the evacuation of dogs from an animal rescue charity was prioritised ahead of people who had actively put their lives on the line, is frankly unbelievable. (Did I read that right, or have I misunderstood something?)
There should be resignations ... but there won't be.
"... place reserved in Hell ..."
He may not get in - they have standards too.
Garg: I have a reservation.
Demonic Maitre D: "Ah Mr Garg. No, you had a reservation."
G: "Had?"
D: "Yes 'had' - The Big Boss cancelled it."
G: "Why?"
D: "There were complaints. A number of denizens objected to your admittance. Even Vlad the Impaler thought your methods inhumane."
G: "This is ridiculous. I demand you find somewhere to seat me."
D: (sighs) "Very well." (dials phone) "Vlad? - Good, have you got a moment? ..."