* Posts by cosymart

362 posts • joined 23 Jan 2010

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Virgin Media? More like Virgin Meltdown: Brit broadband ISP falls over amid power drama

cosymart
Happy

Fine Here...

And has been all day in the Midlands, what outage :-) (via VM)

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US may have by far the world's biggest military budget but it's not showing in security

cosymart
Headmaster

@ Steve the Cynic - !"oftenness"!? I think the word you were looking for was regularity.

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SpaceX touches down in California as Voyager 2 spies interstellar space

cosymart
Happy

What I want To know:

When NASA flicks the off switch on Earth for an instrument on Voyager 2 how long is it before they get the signal back that says "Bollocks to that"?

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Dutch cheesed off with Russians, expel four suspects over chemical weapons Wi-Fi spying

cosymart
Black Helicopters

"One great mistake made by intelligent people is to refuse to believe that the world is as stupid as it is." ~ Claudine Guerin de Tencin

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TSB goes TITSUP: Total Inability To Surprise Users, Probably

cosymart
Coat

Re: Heads have rolled

Beat me to it :-)

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Russian volcanoes fingered for Earth's largest mass extinction

cosymart
Joke

Well, HS2 is causing a rift.

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It may be poor man's Photoshop, but GIMP casts a Long Shadow with latest update

cosymart
Thumb Up

Re: Serif PhotoPlus

I find Serif Draw Plus much easier to use and far more useful IMHO.

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cosymart
Facepalm

Straighten

Microsoft Photo Gallery 2012 has a straighten tool which works fine....

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Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you

cosymart
FAIL

Printers, Ha!!

If you think that the printer connected to your PC/Laptop/etc. is evil just wait until you encounter the hell of networked printers situated randomly in a multi-storey building. What might be logical to the BOFH who set them up is total garbage to the users. Printer-1/2-4 or Printer-2/2-3 etc. is meaningless especially when all the printers are identical with no outward signs or labels. Guaranteed to reduce the productivity of the office to zero and grown men to tears.

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What if tech moguls brewed real ale?

cosymart
Pirate

Re: Old Peculiar (yes I know :-) )

@ Will Godfrey - WIMP game ... never did get through that one

I don't know anyone who did hence - Endless Game :-)

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cosymart
Pint

Old Peculiar (yes I know :-) )

Acorn and Gone - Nutty with a hint of nostalgia

Archimedes - A bit Greek with a hint of old socks

WIMP Game - Endless fun with strange hints

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Cancelled in Crawley? At least your train has free Wi-Fi now, right?

cosymart
Happy

What's the oldest train still in use in the UK by anyone?

I think The Isle of Man has the oldest rolling stock, not only do they have a variety of steam locos some of them are pulled by horses as opposed to run by asses in the rest of the UK :-)

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Budget hotel chain, UK political party, Monzo Bank, Patreon caught in Typeform database hack

cosymart
Alien

Travelodge

Which Travelodge? I believe the UK & USA companies are different entities. Amusing fact, the UK Travelodge are based in Sleepy Hollow, Oxfordshire :-)

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UK Foreign Office offers Assange a doctor if he leaves Ecuador embassy

cosymart
Holmes

Doctor

Has anyone stated what type of doctor would be waiting for him? Please feel free to list those doctorate professions he would not like to see: To start the list "Criminology",

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India tells its banks to get Windows XP off ATMs – in 2019!

cosymart

Suspect The Bank of India is doing some arse grabbing on the lines of: "we told you to fix it so it isn't our fault when it goes TIPSUP"

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cosymart

India tells its banks to get Windows XP off ATMs – in 2019!

"XP was/is the most user friendly version of Windows, Microsoft's pinnacle beyond which much arse gazing stupidity erratically formed the gigantic turd of Windows 10, the end of the proverbial loo roll."

To a certain extent I agree but you forgot Windows 7 which managed to avoid most of the 10 shit but inherited the good stuff from XP. And furthermore is still supported-ish as extended support won't end until January 14, 2020.

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IBM loses mainframe docs down the back of the web, customers cry 'sabotage'

cosymart
FAIL

Re: What exactly is IBM useful for these days?

You are assuming that it was useful for something in the past!

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1,300 customers of Brit bank TSB defrauded due to botched IT migration

cosymart
FAIL

Cashless Swedes

@ A Non e-mouse "There was a BBC News article on how Sweden is pushing very hard to go cashless. Many shops their now only accept card payments."

How does this work if you are a child? Want to buy a bag of toffees for 0.5Euro?

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Presto chango, crypto buyo: You're travelling like El Reg's gang of nerds

cosymart
WTF?

Re: All these flames - There's More

"SDF accesses your User ID (anonymised), name, last nam, email, current city and photos."

WTF do you need anything other than my name? Photos - really????

Go see what happened to Joan of Arc when she tried trickery like this - https://www.cartoonstock.com/cartoonview.asp?catref=ctan44

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cosymart
WTF?

Why????

I quite fancy this book to stick in the car glove box with the out of date maps etc. Can I buy a tree based version? If so how?

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Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

cosymart
Headmaster

Re: So...

@Goldmember ".. What about the tests done around 10 years ago on Hitler's remains (by an American team), which revealed the skull held by the Russians is actually a female skull?

It would appear this line in the article is inaccurate:

"Last year Russia's secret service, the FSB, and its state archives authorised a team of foreign researchers to examine Hitler's mortal remains for the first time since 1946.""

It therefore confirms that statement as the previous tests were not carried out on Hitler's remains but an unknown female possibly the owner of the valuable pink knickers.

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BT to slash landline rentals by 37%... for the broadbandless

cosymart
Boffin

Re: Remind me,

No, it's 50% off if you are registered blind.

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What a mesh: BT Whole Home Wi-Fi users moan over update

cosymart
Meh

Modem Mode

At least with the VM "Super Hub 3" you can select modem mode and use a router of your choice. Is this not an option with BT?

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Boring. The phone business has lost the plot and Google is making it worse

cosymart
Meh

Upgrade

I was just thinking... Must be time to replace my phone, had a look around and saw no reason to. Current phone works, does what I need it to do, fairly decent battery life, on a good tariff. Am I the only one?

The hardware has almost plateaued out, if you need something different get an app, simple.

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A print button? Mmkay. Let's explore WHY you need me to add that

cosymart
Facepalm

Real Question

The real question is why are you duplicating a function that is available on the keyboard?

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Facebook open-sources object detection work: Watch out, Google CAPTCHA

cosymart
FAIL

Crap AI

I buy say a lawnmower and for the next 6 months all the ads are trying to sell me a lawn mower, that's not AI it's bloody stupidity!

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Self-driving cars still do not exist even if we think they do

cosymart
Facepalm

Re: Of course they exist.

Charles 9 - So you're saying there's no such thing as a self-cleaning oven, for example?

Sales gimmick. The only self cleaning bit is the side panels, the rest still gets covered in carbon mixed with epoxy glue that needs a pneumatic hammer to shift.

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cosymart
Holmes

Re: They kinda do and kinda don't

AC - "Surprisingly there doesn't seem to be an obvious picture of it anywhere. Thinking about it it might have been near Telford - not Devizes. We were on a project and that particular week our regular hotel was fully booked and we had to seek out alternatives in smaller establishments in the surrounding area."

It is near Telford, the B4373 at the bottom of the hill in Ironbridge adjacent to The Iron Bridge. It is marked no left turn on the approach.

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Big shock: $700 Internet-of-Things door lock not a success

cosymart
Childcatcher

Re: Cat Flap

Looks painful if Rory Cellan-Jones is anything to go by :-(

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cosymart
Holmes

Cat Flap

If you can get a cat flap that only lets in your own moggy due to the microchip in the moggy. The solution to all this is to microchip the entire population and fit all doors with a programmable reader. Solve lots of access problems overnight.

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cosymart
FAIL

Re: Bah!

You obviously have not heard the story of the 3 pigs and the big bad wolf. A house made with sticks is not a good choice :-(

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Openreach fibre plan for 10m premises coming 'before Christmas'

cosymart
Meh

Christmas?

Which Christmas? I don't notice a year :-(

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Microsoft slowly closes Outlook Premium's door while Office 365 winks at you across the street

cosymart
Devil

@ Lost all faith... Ha, ha, ha that's the funniest line I have heard in years. "I wonder if you'll be able to detach yourself from Office a year or two down the line?" Oh dear, oh dear....

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Fappening celeb nudes hacking outrage: Third scumbag cops to charge

cosymart
Meh

2FA

You mean this type of 2 factor authentication? https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/10/25/pixie_2fa_project/

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Sniffing substations will solve 'leccy car charging woes, reckons upstart

cosymart

Re: Brave New World

@AC - "And when you start drawing 48 amps continuous from a domestic supply for 6 hours at a time, expect to see a dramatic increase in the number of house fires."

No reason why unless you try and draw from the standard ring main! These chargers would and should be wired directly to the incoming mains supply via a fused sub-board. Not cheap and an interesting earner for the local sparks :-)

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Geoboffins claim to find oldest trace of life in rocks 4bn years old

cosymart
Alien

Re: More fake news

"This sort of claim should never be allowed to be published as it clearly contradicts the FACTS as known to all God fearing Americans." They don't have anything to fear then :-)

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Cassini probe's death dive to send data at just 27 kilobits per second

cosymart
Happy

Re: "Space is nasty and sending data across 83 light-minutes of it isn't easy"

@Bahboh - "Can't The Register find some science writers to write science ?" It did, the science fiction variety :-)

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UK.gov unveils six areas to pilot full-fat fibre, and London ain't on the list

cosymart
Thumb Down

Re: London not on the list

Problem with high voltage rail in tunnels.... Tunnels tend to be wet and damp, prone to flooding etc. The floor of a tunnel is not a good place for HV :-(

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Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

cosymart
Devil

Re: Just another attempt

Just use the email address of the CEO of the chain or the manager of the hotel :-)

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Terry Pratchett's unfinished works flattened by steamroller

cosymart
Angel

Re: A man is not dead while his name is still spoken ...

They do indeed and Lester Haines is included :-)

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Boffins prove oil and water CAN mix – if you do it in a gas giant

cosymart
Unhappy

Re: I managed this years ago...

I had one of those oil mixers, cracking cylinder heads :-)

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UK mobile number porting creaks: Arcane system shows its age

cosymart
FAIL

Way Forward

It seems to me that the simple option is not to port your mobile number in the UK until this fudging mess is sorted. What a dogs breakfast :-( Where's OFCOM when you need them?

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Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

cosymart
Angel

Re: Clearly discrimination

And recently I've noticed that paedophiles are under-represented on the BBC as well ...

Don't be to sure, just because no-one has been outed yet as the mob are still going down the list of perverts.

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OMG, dad, you're so embarrassing! Are you P2P file sharing again?

cosymart

Been doing it for years... It's the only thing I am good at (in their eyes :-) )

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NASA: Bring on the asteroid, so we can chuck a fridge at it

cosymart
Holmes

Re: Door

It's that strange building with no garden in the middle of a farmyard right next to the dung heap that yuppies pay 100s thousands of pounds to live in.

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Virgin Media to close flagship Oxford St store in August

cosymart
Facepalm

The Same Virgin Media

That when you get a business phone line fault insists that it must be reported by..... phone! I am sure that some companies are run by products from Jim Henson inc.

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Software glitch led to London Ambulance Service outage – report

cosymart
Pint

Re: Software glitch caused London Ambulance Service outage

I'll drink to that, is it Friday yet?

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Fancy buying our aircraft carrier satnav, Raytheon asks UK

cosymart
Facepalm

Re: Himself? Herself?

Must have been as he owned a Vauxhall Cavalier, and cared enough about it to call it she and not shit which definitely gender neutral.

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Wi-Fi Dream Home Of The Future™ gets instructions for builders

cosymart
Pint

Trunking

You either get this type of thing installed or do a retrofit. Makes all kinds of things easier and as a plus it won't need painting :-)

https://www.tlc-direct.co.uk/Products/UVSLS.html

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Fear the dentist? Strap on some nerd goggles

cosymart
Happy

Optimal Experience

I have never feared going to the dentist as I was conditioned to enjoy the whole experience from an early age.

As a young lad of impressionable age I would go to the local school dental clinic. Once sat in the chair if anything was about to happen the female dental assistant would cradle my head in her ample bosom, bliss never felt or heard a thing. :-)

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