* Posts by cosymart

383 posts • joined 23 Jan 2010

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Granddaddy of the DIY repair generation John Haynes has loosened his last nut

cosymart
Pint

The most useful bit...

To remove X remove the 5 bolts holding Y - I could never find, let alone remove the 5th bolt! as it was invariably in a location that required an ambidextrous orang-outang with a swivel joint for a wrist :-(

Is this a wind-up? Planet Computers boss calls time on ZX Spectrum reboot firm

cosymart
Coat

Cosmo

Any relation to Cosmo Smallpiece? I'll get my coat :-)

Crypto exchange in court: It owes $190m to netizens after founder 'dies without telling anyone vault passwords'

cosymart
Childcatcher

Lesson for us all...

CEO dies from an existing serious illness whilst in India and no-one had the nounce to suggest that it might be wise to have the passwords written down on a post-it note stuck to the back of the monitor. So what happens to the $190m of bits and bytes stored on spinning rust?

Techies tinker with toilet-topper to turn it into ticker-tracker

cosymart
Mushroom

Re: Dickheads

They won't get funding for that :-(

Oh cool, the Bluetooth 5.1 specification is out. Nice. *control-F* master-slave... 2,000 results

cosymart
Headmaster

BT?

I was halfway through reading your comment when I realised that BT = Bluetooth and not British Telecom. Please don't use a common two letter acronym in your comments.

Ca-caw-caw: Pigeon poops on tot's face as tempers fray at siege of Lincoln flats

cosymart
Pirate

Top UK Preditor

See this for action killer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ra6I6svXQPg

Using WhatsApp for your business comms? It's either that or reinstall Lotus Notes

cosymart
Big Brother

Re: Is Alister paid per word?

Perhaps he's related to the late Ronnie Corbett? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4sSS_QuZHM

Trying to log into Office 365 right now? It's a coin flip, says Microsoft: Service goes TITSUP as Azure portal wobbles

cosymart
Meh

Just switch it off and back on again...

"while we perform targeted service restarts in parallel to provide more immediate relief."

Everyday doings of a metropolitan techie: Stob's software diary

cosymart
Unhappy

Re: Cable ties

Cable ties are fine unless they are fitted in a hot location and then they go brittle.... Fitted some replacement nicad batteries to a fluorescent emergency light fitting using cable ties and a year later there was a loud clunk as the batteries succumbed to gravity.

Fujitsu says UK Foreign Office can't count in lawsuit over loss of £350m comms contract

cosymart
Big Brother

Up The Chain

So nobody checked the figures, produced by the lowly assistant, as the responses went up the chain or should that be greasy pole?

Outlook Mobile heads to the White House, passes infosec clearance for federal sector

cosymart

Yeh, I was looking for a robust desktop email package and apart from Thunderbird outlook wins hands down :-)

Fake news? More like ache news. Grandma, grampa 'more likely' to share made-up articles during US election

cosymart
Meh

Share.... Nooo!!!

I have given up pointing out to members of my wider family (mainly female) that the post that they have just shared is either Fake/False/Rubbish/2 years+ old or all of them. I just block them :-(

Reg Standards Bureau introduces the Devon fatberg as coastal town menaced by oily blob

cosymart
Childcatcher

Re: But seriously though...

My father-in-law used to have a proper garage where people could take their cars and get them fixed unlike the garage of today where the "technicians" just plug them into a laptop and read the output and follow the instructions... In the aforesaid garage there was an oil fired space heater that was designed to take waste engine oil but would quite happily consume any other oil you cared to feed it. There are no documented comments/reactions from the local populace as to the smell of the noxious gasses produced by the heater vent/chimney :-)

Who's watching you from an unmarked van while you shop in London? Cops with facial recog tech

cosymart
FAIL

Tracking who?

@ mark 12

"It looks it might be a good time to invest in some eye glasses or a cap with some IR LEDs built in to stop the facial recognition cameras being able to track you. Like the cinemas have to stop people using camera to record the films off the screen"

That sounds like a really good way to avoid standing out in a crowd especially if the cameras in question also work in IR range.

Forget your deepest, darkest secrets, smart speakers will soon listen for sniffles and farts too

cosymart
Facepalm

Re: Its already a realty

You mean you're the idiot that bought one, see icon.

cosymart
Big Brother

You What!

I knew there was a good reason to avoid smart anything that might actually be smart, although smart meters don't count as such. Do sane people pay money to put them in their homes?

Official: Voyager 2 is now an interstellar spacecraft

cosymart
Alien

Testing

They would need to send a boffin out to do that :-) See icon for contractors details...

Douglas Adams was right, ish... Super-Earth world clocked orbiting 'nearby' Barnard's Star

cosymart
Devil

@ 89724102172714182892114I7551670349743096734346773478647892349863592355648544921

Are you trying to accumulate the most down votes in the history of The Register?

F***=off, Google tells its staff: Any mention of nookie now banned from internal files, URLs

cosymart
Angel

A Place For Everything etc.

Standards are good, people then know exactly what is expected. For instance the most foul mouthed person is very unlikely to let go expletives in front of their ageing granny (depends on granny but you get the gist). Respect goes along way and I have always believed that people who swear in public or in front of people they don't know either don't care a damn or are just piggin ignorant!

London flatmate (Julian Assange) sues landlord (government of Ecuador) in human rights spat

cosymart
WTF?

Re: Here we go again...

No one is arguing that his WikiLeaks things are bad. Hmm, apart from a few governments. What we are all tending to agree with is that he is a complete and utter prat and given his fondness for lawyers you would have thought that someone in the legal profession would have advised him (kicked him up the arse!) that this situation is stupid.

cosymart
Meh

Lets Get Real

Who pays for his food? Does he get to choose the menu?

To be honest if he had not skipped bail he would at most done 6 months at Her Majesty's Pleasure and as long as he avoided bending down for the soap he would have come out unscathed. As it is he has been banged up in the Ecuadorian embassy for far longer than most criminals get for GBH. What a muppet.

Virgin Media? More like Virgin Meltdown: Brit broadband ISP falls over amid power drama

cosymart
Happy

Fine Here...

And has been all day in the Midlands, what outage :-) (via VM)

US may have by far the world's biggest military budget but it's not showing in security

cosymart
Headmaster

@ Steve the Cynic - !"oftenness"!? I think the word you were looking for was regularity.

SpaceX touches down in California as Voyager 2 spies interstellar space

cosymart
Happy

What I want To know:

When NASA flicks the off switch on Earth for an instrument on Voyager 2 how long is it before they get the signal back that says "Bollocks to that"?

Dutch cheesed off with Russians, expel four suspects over chemical weapons Wi-Fi spying

cosymart
Black Helicopters

"One great mistake made by intelligent people is to refuse to believe that the world is as stupid as it is." ~ Claudine Guerin de Tencin

TSB goes TITSUP: Total Inability To Surprise Users, Probably

cosymart
Coat

Re: Heads have rolled

Beat me to it :-)

Russian volcanoes fingered for Earth's largest mass extinction

cosymart
Joke

Well, HS2 is causing a rift.

It may be poor man's Photoshop, but GIMP casts a Long Shadow with latest update

cosymart
Thumb Up

Re: Serif PhotoPlus

I find Serif Draw Plus much easier to use and far more useful IMHO.

cosymart
Facepalm

Straighten

Microsoft Photo Gallery 2012 has a straighten tool which works fine....

Grad sends warning to manager: Be nice to our kit and it'll be nice to you

cosymart
FAIL

Printers, Ha!!

If you think that the printer connected to your PC/Laptop/etc. is evil just wait until you encounter the hell of networked printers situated randomly in a multi-storey building. What might be logical to the BOFH who set them up is total garbage to the users. Printer-1/2-4 or Printer-2/2-3 etc. is meaningless especially when all the printers are identical with no outward signs or labels. Guaranteed to reduce the productivity of the office to zero and grown men to tears.

What if tech moguls brewed real ale?

cosymart
Pirate

Re: Old Peculiar (yes I know :-) )

@ Will Godfrey - WIMP game ... never did get through that one

I don't know anyone who did hence - Endless Game :-)

cosymart
Pint

Old Peculiar (yes I know :-) )

Acorn and Gone - Nutty with a hint of nostalgia

Archimedes - A bit Greek with a hint of old socks

WIMP Game - Endless fun with strange hints

Cancelled in Crawley? At least your train has free Wi-Fi now, right?

cosymart
Happy

What's the oldest train still in use in the UK by anyone?

I think The Isle of Man has the oldest rolling stock, not only do they have a variety of steam locos some of them are pulled by horses as opposed to run by asses in the rest of the UK :-)

Budget hotel chain, UK political party, Monzo Bank, Patreon caught in Typeform database hack

cosymart
Alien

Travelodge

Which Travelodge? I believe the UK & USA companies are different entities. Amusing fact, the UK Travelodge are based in Sleepy Hollow, Oxfordshire :-)

UK Foreign Office offers Assange a doctor if he leaves Ecuador embassy

cosymart
Holmes

Doctor

Has anyone stated what type of doctor would be waiting for him? Please feel free to list those doctorate professions he would not like to see: To start the list "Criminology",

India tells its banks to get Windows XP off ATMs – in 2019!

cosymart

Suspect The Bank of India is doing some arse grabbing on the lines of: "we told you to fix it so it isn't our fault when it goes TIPSUP"

cosymart

India tells its banks to get Windows XP off ATMs – in 2019!

"XP was/is the most user friendly version of Windows, Microsoft's pinnacle beyond which much arse gazing stupidity erratically formed the gigantic turd of Windows 10, the end of the proverbial loo roll."

To a certain extent I agree but you forgot Windows 7 which managed to avoid most of the 10 shit but inherited the good stuff from XP. And furthermore is still supported-ish as extended support won't end until January 14, 2020.

IBM loses mainframe docs down the back of the web, customers cry 'sabotage'

cosymart
FAIL

Re: What exactly is IBM useful for these days?

You are assuming that it was useful for something in the past!

1,300 customers of Brit bank TSB defrauded due to botched IT migration

cosymart
FAIL

Cashless Swedes

@ A Non e-mouse "There was a BBC News article on how Sweden is pushing very hard to go cashless. Many shops their now only accept card payments."

How does this work if you are a child? Want to buy a bag of toffees for 0.5Euro?

Presto chango, crypto buyo: You're travelling like El Reg's gang of nerds

cosymart
WTF?

Re: All these flames - There's More

"SDF accesses your User ID (anonymised), name, last nam, email, current city and photos."

WTF do you need anything other than my name? Photos - really????

Go see what happened to Joan of Arc when she tried trickery like this - https://www.cartoonstock.com/cartoonview.asp?catref=ctan44

cosymart
WTF?

Why????

I quite fancy this book to stick in the car glove box with the out of date maps etc. Can I buy a tree based version? If so how?

Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

cosymart
Headmaster

Re: So...

@Goldmember ".. What about the tests done around 10 years ago on Hitler's remains (by an American team), which revealed the skull held by the Russians is actually a female skull?

It would appear this line in the article is inaccurate:

"Last year Russia's secret service, the FSB, and its state archives authorised a team of foreign researchers to examine Hitler's mortal remains for the first time since 1946.""

It therefore confirms that statement as the previous tests were not carried out on Hitler's remains but an unknown female possibly the owner of the valuable pink knickers.

BT to slash landline rentals by 37%... for the broadbandless

cosymart
Boffin

Re: Remind me,

No, it's 50% off if you are registered blind.

What a mesh: BT Whole Home Wi-Fi users moan over update

cosymart
Meh

Modem Mode

At least with the VM "Super Hub 3" you can select modem mode and use a router of your choice. Is this not an option with BT?

Boring. The phone business has lost the plot and Google is making it worse

cosymart
Meh

Upgrade

I was just thinking... Must be time to replace my phone, had a look around and saw no reason to. Current phone works, does what I need it to do, fairly decent battery life, on a good tariff. Am I the only one?

The hardware has almost plateaued out, if you need something different get an app, simple.

A print button? Mmkay. Let's explore WHY you need me to add that

cosymart
Facepalm

Real Question

The real question is why are you duplicating a function that is available on the keyboard?

Facebook open-sources object detection work: Watch out, Google CAPTCHA

cosymart
FAIL

Crap AI

I buy say a lawnmower and for the next 6 months all the ads are trying to sell me a lawn mower, that's not AI it's bloody stupidity!

Self-driving cars still do not exist even if we think they do

cosymart
Facepalm

Re: Of course they exist.

Charles 9 - So you're saying there's no such thing as a self-cleaning oven, for example?

Sales gimmick. The only self cleaning bit is the side panels, the rest still gets covered in carbon mixed with epoxy glue that needs a pneumatic hammer to shift.

cosymart
Holmes

Re: They kinda do and kinda don't

AC - "Surprisingly there doesn't seem to be an obvious picture of it anywhere. Thinking about it it might have been near Telford - not Devizes. We were on a project and that particular week our regular hotel was fully booked and we had to seek out alternatives in smaller establishments in the surrounding area."

It is near Telford, the B4373 at the bottom of the hill in Ironbridge adjacent to The Iron Bridge. It is marked no left turn on the approach.

Big shock: $700 Internet-of-Things door lock not a success

cosymart
Childcatcher

Re: Cat Flap

Looks painful if Rory Cellan-Jones is anything to go by :-(

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