* Posts by cosymart

321 posts • joined 23 Jan 2010

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UK mobile number porting creaks: Arcane system shows its age

cosymart
FAIL

Way Forward

It seems to me that the simple option is not to port your mobile number in the UK until this fudging mess is sorted. What a dogs breakfast :-( Where's OFCOM when you need them?

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Jodie Who-ttaker? The Doctor is in

cosymart
Angel

Re: Clearly discrimination

And recently I've noticed that paedophiles are under-represented on the BBC as well ...

Don't be to sure, just because no-one has been outed yet as the mob are still going down the list of perverts.

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OMG, dad, you're so embarrassing! Are you P2P file sharing again?

cosymart

Been doing it for years... It's the only thing I am good at (in their eyes :-) )

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NASA: Bring on the asteroid, so we can chuck a fridge at it

cosymart
Holmes

Re: Door

It's that strange building with no garden in the middle of a farmyard right next to the dung heap that yuppies pay 100s thousands of pounds to live in.

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Virgin Media to close flagship Oxford St store in August

cosymart
Facepalm

The Same Virgin Media

That when you get a business phone line fault insists that it must be reported by..... phone! I am sure that some companies are run by products from Jim Henson inc.

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Software glitch led to London Ambulance Service outage – report

cosymart
Pint

Re: Software glitch caused London Ambulance Service outage

I'll drink to that, is it Friday yet?

2
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Fancy buying our aircraft carrier satnav, Raytheon asks UK

cosymart
Facepalm

Re: Himself? Herself?

Must have been as he owned a Vauxhall Cavalier, and cared enough about it to call it she and not shit which definitely gender neutral.

2
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Wi-Fi Dream Home Of The Future™ gets instructions for builders

cosymart
Pint

Trunking

You either get this type of thing installed or do a retrofit. Makes all kinds of things easier and as a plus it won't need painting :-)

https://www.tlc-direct.co.uk/Products/UVSLS.html

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Fear the dentist? Strap on some nerd goggles

cosymart
Happy

Optimal Experience

I have never feared going to the dentist as I was conditioned to enjoy the whole experience from an early age.

As a young lad of impressionable age I would go to the local school dental clinic. Once sat in the chair if anything was about to happen the female dental assistant would cradle my head in her ample bosom, bliss never felt or heard a thing. :-)

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Why Microsoft's Windows game plan makes us WannaCry

cosymart
Megaphone

Am I Missing Something?

Not that I am ambassador for Microsoft but:

1) I agree that any supplier of goods/services should fix faults within a reasonable time after purchase, 12months. How old is XP?

2) Why should any supplier fix faulty security, OK say a lock broke due to poor components. Get back to the car analogy, cars in the 60s, 70s & 80s were stupidly easy to break into. Did car manufactures upgrade the current models, did they heck! They slowly improved security in the latest models, try and nick a current car. During the 60s, 70s & 80s there was a booming industry in vehicle security add ons. Not now, you try and buy an after market alarm system.

4) The real crims are the crims who are after easy money, if the security services kept pace with the criminals instead of pretending that the Kray twins and Crusher Smith are the de-facto targets we might have a more realistic chance of catching someone.

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UK General Election 2017: How EU law will hit British politicians' Facebook fight

cosymart
Terminator

Re: Beware Pollsters and their ilk

Where do I sign up to pay my dues to the Grumpy Old Man . org? I am fully qualified in all respects just ask the snotty nosed urchin who's scooter/aluminium thing with stupid wheels is in the canal. Bah Humbug!

2
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Virgin Media scales back Project Lightning target in first quarter results

cosymart
Go

VM OK

Pay for 150MB get 165MB, when I had a router fail they swapped it out no problem.

0
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The Co-Op Bank's online banking has gone TITSUP*

cosymart
FAIL

Unplugged

I bailed out when they closed the nearest branch to my home address. The next nearest, open branch, would have entailed a 40 mile round trip. Guess which branch has just been slated for closure :-( Co-op bank is now a creeping death.

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Fire fighters get grinding on London man’s trapped genitalia

cosymart
Thumb Up

Chortle...

This may, in part, have "stimulated" King's College London.... Not too much I hope, can't have our students getting excited :-)

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Need the toilet? Wanna watch a video ad about erectile dysfunction?

cosymart
FAIL

Bog Design

Standard design for toilets anywhere: 3 urinals & loos, 2 or 3 sinks and ONE hand dryer that on a good day just about reached ambient temperature because the fan motor was under rated. Don't the people who design loos use them?

10
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eBay denies claims it's failing to thwart 'systematic fraud'

cosymart
FAIL

It's Safe in the Garden Come and Play

This is why eBay & Paypal don't come down hard, they want punters to feel safe. Scammers? here? never! It's wonderful :-(

5
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ZX Spectrum reboot project's Great Ormond Street charity cash questions

cosymart
Facepalm

Try Google

If you genuinely don't live under a bridge why not do what everyone else here has to do and Google GOSH. May you find enlightenment :-)

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Broadband providers almost double prices after deals end

cosymart
Megaphone

You Need A Business Package

@ Andrew 60 - See title. Normally better T&C and much better service, last time I had a business outage there were 2 bods at the door within half a day. Fixed and left me with a direct number of the engineer in case of further problems.

1
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Facebook's 'delightful' AI Clippy the Paperclip creeps into Messenger

cosymart
Thumb Up

Fits My Profile To a T

In a brand survey earlier this week, teenagers ranked Facebook Messenger as almost as uncool as the Wall Street Journal, or Vice.

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Boeing details 'Deep Space Gateway' for Mars mission staging

cosymart
Facepalm

Re: Lunar mining?

Quote of the month "the moon is made mostly of moon rock" gasp!

2
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Spotted: Bizarre SpaceX rocket-snatching machine that looks like it belongs on Robot Wars

cosymart
Headmaster

Correct the correction :-)

Corrections to your pedantic comment: I think you mean Henry the vacuum cleaner. Hoover don't make Henry's. - Nice try but no cigar.

On a related note I am not sure if "Hoover" has now passed the point at which it is interchangeable with "vacuum cleaner", I suspect it is.

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Good news, everyone! Two pints a day keep heart problems at bay

cosymart
Pint

Re: Cider!

What does Buckfast count as? - Buckall.

4
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That 'Trump lawyers threaten teen over kitten website' yarn is Fakey Fakey McFake Fakeface

cosymart
FAIL

Re: Really ..

How the hell did the USA sink so low ? - From having to chose between someone you hate or someone incompetent. Tough call :-(

5
7

RadioShack bankruptcy savior to file for, you guessed it, bankruptcy

cosymart
Headmaster

Re: Solder Repellant

RS (RS Components) is a very different supplier to Radio Shack.

10
0

Watt the f... Dim smart meters caught simply making up readings

cosymart
Boffin

Re: Meter smarts

No, they are 200% wrong as there are 2 of them thus compounding the error :-)

9
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Pence v Clinton: Both used private email for work, one hacked, one accused of hypocrisy

cosymart
Flame

Fart Free Area

Can I make a plea for the Register to be a Fart (as in Trump) free area to avoid the Merkins rerunning their pathetic convoluted presidential election and subsequent debacle.

0
1

New Royal Navy Wildcat helicopters can't transmit vital data

cosymart
Headmaster

Re: This weeks name

Most air to air and surface to air Missiles are just that, they are designed to "miss" the target by a close proximity and then explode. lots of stuff flying about at high velocity hitting sensitive bits (lots of these on an aircraft). The only Hitile [sic] that I am aware of is the Rapier surface to air one.

4
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We don't want to alarm you, but PostScript makes your printer an attack vector

cosymart
Coat

Re: Mac display

Is this referring the dirty mac brigade AKA Flashers or Macintosh Computers? Still trying to figure out why you mention the display?

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cosymart
Angel

Re: what could go wrong

Is that Donald as in Duck?

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Stop replying! pleads NetApp customer stuck in reply-allpocalypse

cosymart
FAIL

Re: I hate people

I switch my phone off at night don't you?

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London's Winter Wonderland URGENTLY seeks Windows 10 desk support

cosymart
FAIL

Re: But...

That's just the rub they don't say it's better than the previous version, they use words like "better productivity" and "Redesigned screens". They never, ever try and sell it as a better OS... come on it would leave them wide open to all sort of litigation.

2
1

Japanese robot space maid will incinerate Earth's dead satellites

cosymart
WTF?

Nets.....

Just watched the Video (sound off) and found it very interesting.... Couldn't spot the nets, given the hype about the nets wtf are they?

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Local TV presenter shouted 'f*cking hell' to open news bulletin

cosymart
Headmaster

Re: Done on purpose

"past" let's not lower ourselves to gutter TV level :-)

9
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Virgin Media is so rustic and artisan you get to hand-sort your own spam

cosymart
Pirate

Re: Well bugger me...

Takes all sorts, would be good if you didn't advertise your sexual preferences on an open forum :-)

3
1
cosymart
Mushroom

Shooting the Messenger

Why are we complaining about VMs poor Spam handling? What we should be doing is trying to cull the crap at source. Anyone found sending Spam should be guilty of whatever the local law agency can cobble together and then banned from the internet for life and keelhauled!

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Facebook to hire 500 more in Blighty

cosymart
WTF?

Re: It would be nice to see some tech jobs outside London

Basingstoke, Basingstoke..... Not Basingstoke, really? It'll be Slough next and then where will we be?

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Pythons Idle and Cleese pen anti-selfie screed

cosymart
FAIL

Re: Shouting at clouds

@45RPM - "Besides, many celebrities are celebrities because they achieved nothing significant". Fixed that for you.

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3

I've arrived on Mars. Argggh, my back!

cosymart
Happy

Re: A never-ending study on how to mess up humans...

Body Suit.... You mean we might finally get proper space suits like these http://tinyurl.com/gvscthm :-)

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And for our next trick, says Google while literally wheeling out a humongous tablet ...

cosymart
FAIL

Bored

All the folks at that meeting look either totally confused or bored, must have been a real meeting.

They have totally missed the point, the output from this type of meeting isn't the crappy list and weird diagram it is the product of the discussion written up by the mug who was volunteered to take notes. Also, who can ever remember what the diagram means 5 seconds after walking out of the room?

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Asda server glitch leaves customers without online shopping

cosymart
Facepalm

Re: ASDA?

I was sat here trying to work out how an unbagged raw chicken could contaminate an entire supermarket. Had visions of raw chicken being forced into the fans for the air-con (sorry it's Asda warm air fans). I then realised "shop" meant the box of your goodies. Doh!

2
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Wi-Fi commuter fears

cosymart
Facepalm

Re: news?

It should be news. There should be big bold bright notices in these places that say "Free WiFi use it at your peril!" :-(

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1

Killer Hurricane Matthew threatens to wreck Kennedy Space Center

cosymart
Facepalm

Tent!

They are building a "tent"!!! as extra protection. I hope the tent is made from steel plate as bog standard canvas is going to be as much use as a chocolate teapot :-(

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When Pornhub meets the Internet of Fridges

cosymart
Childcatcher

Flixible Friend

I noticed that there is a sticker on the front for a "Flex Zone" ??? Is this for those who bend both ways?

2
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Blighty's telly, radio watchdog Ofcom does a swear

cosymart
FAIL

Comedy

Comedians that swear are to my mind just lazy in that they assume that if a swear word is used it makes what they say funnier. A well crafted joke does not require any profanity to make it funny.

1
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The wait is over: MoD releases latest issue of Ship Paint Monthly

cosymart
Mushroom

Re: Technically challenging stuff.

Please mention Da Boom!!

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Pull the plug! PowerPoint may kill my conference audience

cosymart
FAIL

New laptop

New laptop stuffed with USB sockets and so whizzy that Sooty would die of envy. Presentation suit at the swanky hotel - connector lead to the fixed ceiling mounted projector VGA !!!!

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Man accused of $180k ass-based gold smuggling scam awaits verdict

cosymart
Big Brother

BOGOF

The females get a special offer :-)

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Plusnet broadband outage: Customers fume as TITSUP* continues

cosymart

Re: If you think they're bad...Virgin Media

I deal with VM both as a business and a residential customer and the difference is chalk and cheese. On the business side any issues are normally dealt with as I am talking to them and if they say they will ring back they do. Well worth switching to the businesses package if you require a reliable service.

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The Rise, Fall and Return of TomTom

cosymart

Car Sat Nav

I refused to buy the next model up car wise as the only major feature was the built in Sat Nav and the cost difference was almost £2,000.00 wtf no way!

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Childcare app bods wipe users' data – then discover backups had been borked for a year

cosymart

Free as in air

Think they need to ask for their money back...oh dear, it was excellent value and they got what they paid for, nothing :-(

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