* Posts by Miss Lincolnshire

93 posts • joined 22 Jan 2010

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Just delete the internet – pr0n-blocking legislation receives Royal Assent

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Strong and stable leadership!

Not in this house. The Poundshop Thatcher can stick her peurile personal attacks and evasive answers up her autocratic banshee arse.

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MPs worried Brexit vote website wobble caused by foreign hackers

Miss Lincolnshire

Quelle Surprise

Post Brexit vote Britons blame it all on bloody foreigners.....

Thank God, an Englishmen of course, that we aren't just a pathetic bunch of past dwelling, post Empire xenophobes with a jumped up opinion of our own importance.

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Franken-firm DXC Technology is born today, the fun begins...

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Building signage at Bracknell or lack thereof

Seeing as jobserve.com is advertising for contract PMs to decomm HPE ES estate and software in Bracknell I'd say your are correct.

I'd have applied myself but theres no way DXC are clawing any of my wedge back by seeing me again within 12 months.

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Whalesong? That's the sounds of a Norwegian Blue...

"It's almost like they're using a place holder logo for a company that won't be around for long and which they hope is as unmemorable as possible so that it's slash and burn reputation doesn't pass on to the next owner."

A cynic might say that's Lawrie and Nefkens' 5 year plan.

A realist would know they have no plan beyond the next 3 months redundancies.

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Miss Lincolnshire

What a shallow, shambolic charade. I bet the Mackems are loving seeing all the black and white shite shirts in Cobalt.

Today will see an atmosphere akin to the last days in the Berlin Fuhrerbunker. Hedonistic nihilism reigns. Enjoy the forced jollity today folks, redundancies start up again tomorrow.

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Stop us if you've heard this one before: IBM sheds more workers – this time, tech sales

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: For Those of Us not Working in the States

Reamed Anally or Resource Action, I forget which.

Comes to much the same thing.

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Is that a Veeam in HPE's eye? IT giant may gobble backup biz

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Hang on

Only elaborate excuses for mass redundancies

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Don't believe the hype: UK's £455m Government Digital Service lacks a clear role – fresh audit

Miss Lincolnshire

I was selected for an interview with HMRC digital transformation. It was absolutely baffling and centred on irrelevance, theory and jargon.

My interviewer seemed to spend his life reading blogs and appeared rather non-plussed when I explained that tended to do work.......

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Oracle doing due diligence on Accenture. Yep, you read that right

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Ooooooh, finally...

Did you miss the memo?

HPE's mantra is '"we're not satisfied until you're just the right side of dis-satisified to see the contract out".

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Mark Turd

"Dell/Sun/EMC/Cisco!"

Thank you for proving my point, you just forgot to add HP, Fujitsu and IBM

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Miss Lincolnshire

Mark Turd

It was Hurd that bought EDS and screwed it over by first taking away its solution agnosticism by going hard sell and then ripping its heart out along with all costs, be they essential or not.

Now he's lining up to do the same to the Ruperts and Camillas. Poor souls only just got back from the ski lodge.

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IBM could have made almost all the voluntary redundancies it needed

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Loyalty

As one who will be told today that they are "exiting" HPE ahead of the bastard child being formed with CSC the sole comfort I have is that my payoff is likely to be one of the last at the old EDS rate.

Under Nefkens and Lawrie the "inventory" will almost certainly be worth less as they are given the bum's rush in June, September, December etc etc.

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Has your spouse stayed on after Mobile World Congress? This sex doll brothel might be why

Miss Lincolnshire

If it sneezes, it's full.

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Congratulations IBM for 'inventing' out-of-office email. You win Stupid Patent of the Month

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: @tekHedd

Legend (as in utter made up bollocks) has it the culprit was Gordon Brown

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Fujitsu staff will strike from midnight over pay, pensions and layoffs

Miss Lincolnshire

How to take it up the arse without complaint - don't go on strike.

I wish them well.

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IBM: Voluntary redundo offer? Ticked. Min stat terms? Ticked

Miss Lincolnshire
Facepalm

Re: "Oh dear, how sad, never mind".

That's the deal with being a contractor and the choice you make. Your complaint is as valid as that of a nonconscript squaddie that moans when some bugger shoots at him.

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Miss Lincolnshire

IBM's redundancy policy is a sad indictment of both the callous attitude of large American corporations and the lack of protection UK employees get compared with our European cousins. Without turning this into a separate debate commonsense says that is only going to get worse in the post Brexit world.

Redundancy used to be what happened when companies were financially $%*&ed. That IBM can get away with this when it is purely an exercise in taking names out in order to replace them with cheaper ones and make even more profit is frankly disgusting.

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HPE CEO Whitman says everything's 'on the right track' as sales are literally decimated

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Innovation

That was much of where they went wrong with EDS

HP bought what was an independent service delivery company and immediately went hard sell on HP products which spooked the clients and has ultimately led to losing contracts. I lost count of the number of challenges I got when I wanted to buy Ultrasparc 4s off Sun instead of HPUX. Even when i pointed out that the solution, that we did not write or control, was designed to run on Solaris i still got blocked because the hard sell goggles were on.

If there is one positive in the merge with CSC it's the return to being agnostic over platforms. It'd be good to get Dell laptops again too.

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: It gets even worse

That's HPI not HPE

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Annoyingly precocious teen who ruined Trek is now an asteroid

Miss Lincolnshire

Wheaton seems to be making a pretty good living these days just by taking the piss out of himself on The Big Bang Theory.

Dressing as a B Movie, bikini clad, gorilla has to be a step up from playing Crusher.

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Higher tech prices ARE here to stay. It's Mr Farage's new Britain

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: More than just economic uncertainty

@H in the Hague

But she knows we're British don't cha kno? Johnny Foreigner, strange cove, talks gibberish, knows what side his bread is buttered what! He'll let his betters in or we won't buy an Audi every 8 years.

The old Queen Mum, Gawd bless 'er. won us the war she did. Hosted knees ups in the Blitz rubble by day, Flew a Beaufighter by night. 8 confirmed kills. Neeeeeowwwwwww, dagga dagga dagga, take that Huns!

Rule Britannia etc........................................(fades off into the distance in an apt metaphor for British economic prosperity)

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Miss Lincolnshire

You appear to have been sold a delusional fantasy that the world is lining up to do deals with us and that Britain will get to dictate the terms.

This isn't a war film . We don't win by digging in against huge odds and having a bit of a go.

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Miss Lincolnshire
Mushroom

All hail the Moron's Messiah.

"The fastest growing economies in the world are outside the EU."

Indeed. Last time I checked, the fastest growing economy in the world was Cote D'Ivoire, GDP 32 billion dollars.

"We will trade with the commonwealth."

Following the second world war, likewise, Britain expected to trade with the commonwealth. The commonwealth wasn't interested and decided, instead, to trade with their nearer and better suited neighbours. The empire is gone and, without it, there's no obligation on the commonwealth to trade with us except if our economic interests align.

"Outside the EU we'll have no red tape."

One, if we want to trade with the EU all our exports there will have to conform with the European rules. Two, if we get rid of employment protections and things like environmental regulations and product safety, more fool us (and if, as people claim, it's "not about money", why on earth would we do this anyway?). Three, if we leave the customs union we've just added a motherlode of red tape every time anyone wants to sell something to the single market.

"The rest of the world will want free trade deals with us."

We already trade with those parts of the rest of the world that are prepared to trade with us and are worth trading with. The remainder are either protectionist in whole or in part (good luck selling services to India) or simply too small to bother with. And, in any event, why would a country be desperate to sign a trade deal with the UK, population 60 million GDP less than 3 trillion, when it wouldn't with the EU, population 450 million GDP 13 trillion?

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Continuous Lifecycle 2017: Ten days to tell us how DevOps really works

Miss Lincolnshire
Mushroom

DevFlOps

DevOps is a speshul way of working that means that Developers and their slack, change control avoiding methods get far too close to live environments for their own or other people's good.

It allows Developers the chance to tell Operations staff how to do their jobs and allows Operations staff to claim additional call-out and overtime to fix the problems.

Would you let your dog drive your car? Because that's DevOps that is.

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The only thing worse than working at CSC? An Xmas redundo programme at CSC

Miss Lincolnshire

My money is on CSC being the name.

EDS sounds good though......

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Lack of Hurd mentality at Oracle OpenWorld: Co-CEO's cloud claims fall flat live on stage

Miss Lincolnshire

Turdy McTurdface

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Gimps with big Dell balls hijack HPE's partner shindig

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Burkinis?

When in Rome, sorry Paris.......

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Hewlett Packard Enterprise in talks to offload software, asking for '$8bn to $10bn'

Miss Lincolnshire

Hewlett Packard - from "Garage" to "Garage Sale" in 78 years

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EU referendum frenzy bazookas online voter registration. It's another #GovtDigiShambles

Miss Lincolnshire

If you are so stupid that you leave registering to vote until two hours before the deadline then you really don't deserve the vote in the first place.

Corbyn would be better employed campaigning on the issue and trying to mobilise those that are bright enough to have registered than doing his usual Spartist trick of sniping, sneeringly from the sidelines.

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HPE is still swinging the layoffs axe: 500 more services folk get chop

Miss Lincolnshire

That post is .....

..... a perfect illustration of the attitude that made the acquisition doomed from day one.

I don't recall seeing people scooting about in EDS gear for a long time. EDS was acquired in 2008, I should imagine that most logo kit rotted years ago.

EDS's USP was its agnostic approach to solutions. We built with the most suitable solution for the Customer's requirement. The Customer being the one that was paying, the Customer being the one whose view ought to count in some shape way or form.

HP and Mark Hurd apparently knew better. They believed we should push HP at all costs even where a Customer specifically wanted something else. I'll give you an example, I was upgrading infrastructure from Ultrasparc iii to Ultrasparc iv+. The solution, the application was not changing, was designed to run on Solaris. The Customer specified that the upgrade was to be to Ultrasparc iv+ and this fitted their roadmap and wider strategy. It also kept Oracle licence costs down.

Three times I put in the order for kit and three times it was rejected by Global Procurement so three times I had to explain why HP Itanium was not suitable. Eventually it took a VP's escalation to get me the kit I needed. My project ended up several weeks late purely because HP could not get it into their head that a Customer (i.e. the ones paying) would want something other than HP kit.

I saw this behaviour time and again. I had a senior Customer tell me directly that he would not be sold HP kit as a reaction to the pressured approach. HP soured relationships and lost sales through their 'needy' sales approach. I could count on the fingers of one mitten how many Customers were overjoyed when HP took EDS over. They knew what was coming.

HP cost stripping and hard sell killed EDS. An HP sales person not being able to understand that does not surprise me in the least.

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Here's what HP does really well...

What a lovely story. Thanks for sharing.

HP is bugger all to do with HPE. Do try to keep up

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Hewlett Packard Enterprise hiring temps to cover for redundancies - sources

Miss Lincolnshire
Thumb Up

Re: Was relieved of duties at the end of April

"I think the thing that is going to bother me most, second only to knowing how my tax money is being wasted, is that I now have 15yrs at Hewlett Packard on my CV. Once that would have been a good thing. Now I am not so sure......"

Couple it with a "Lessons Learned" and you'll be able to charge double for Consultancy

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: If any article, and it's comments,

It's amazing how an industry that didn't even exist a generation ago has been devalued, comoditised and sent to be "delivered" by exploiting the lack of employment riggts of those in the developing world so quickly.

Time was my parents encouraged me to get a graduate career. I shall be encouraging my daughter to be a hairdresser or undertaker and see her job stay in the UK.

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Central gov spent £6.3bn on IT. Nearly half handed to just 3 suppliers

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Nice fact

None of the above were failed. All delivered on budget, time and scope. You really do need to look elsewhere for your muck.

You shouldn't just measure everyone else by your own track record of failure.

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: going overseas

"The tax system was similarly done entirely abroad."

I was a programmer on COP, CODA, BROCS, CT Pay & File and CESA. Subsequently managed the installation of servers and networks in Boyd 1 and 2. I didn't get out of Telford Town Centre for any of it.

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Your mother has a smooth forehead, Klingon language lovers roar at Paramount

Miss Lincolnshire

tlhIngan nerds Hol

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Universal Credit at high risk of cyber-attack, fraud from the outset

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Agile

I had an interview for a role with HMRC Cloud and Digital a few weeks ago.

The bloke leading the session seemed to have a poor view of suppliers and little trust for the grades below him but he had read a lot of theoretical papers. Hadn't delivered anything of note.....

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Miss Lincolnshire

too late

It's built by DevOps at HP

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Prof Hawking to mail postage-stamp space craft to Alpha Centauri using frickin' lasers

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Douglas Adams

A goat

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IBM's tops sales staff face long haul...to Hawaii

Miss Lincolnshire

Unbelievable

IBM is making HPE look well run

Believe me it's not.

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Staffers in charge of HPE's UK IT outsourcing face redundo in April

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Don't complain ..its easy that way

Our English grammar is at least to O level standard though. An educational intervention. I hadn't considered that the race to the bottom was driven by the exemplary lifestyles and cultures prevalent in the far east. I'd rather cynically assumed it was because people were cheap as chips and disposable with few employment rights.

Please accept my apologies. It must be all that beer instead of coffee and leaves(sic) that led me to assume that it was all about short term share return and that we hadn't done a bad job of building these companies considering that when I left school the industry hardly existed at all.

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Miss Lincolnshire

Watching the pennies

“probably grads to keeps the costs down,”

Those repeated, multi $bn acquisition write offs (and huge executive bonuses despite them) don't pay for themselves.

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HP Enterprise Services readies deeper cuts in UK: Now 1,000 techies face axe

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Pathetic

Accelerating (the) Next (roùnd of job cuts)

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Trade union threatens work-to-rule action over HPE Lancashire job cuts

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Utter ignorance

You are either a fantasist or the fat bloke at the chip shop and I claim my £5.

One of the best senior managers at HPE works out of Lytham. He ran a strong and professional organisation, top to bottom, when I was there but I wouldn't expect anyone with blinkers to acknowledge that.

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Miss Lincolnshire

Utter ignorance

I've worked at the Lytham site. I've also worked at Cobalt. Those that characterise those under threat, and it's by no means a new threat, as bone idle civil service types are simply exhibiting their own ignorance.

DWP services in Lytham have been run by either EDS or HPE for nigh on 20 years. The private sector and its practices are not a shock to anyone. A large proportion, myself included, never worked for ITSA in the first place so the assumption that it is staffed by career clock watchers is utter guff. The clock watchers went long ago, most of them soon after being TUPEd. I've nothing but respect for the majority of my former colleagues without whom the services running out of Cobalt would have never got off the ground.

Good luck to my former colleagues on DWP Account. Those that reside in Erskine and Cobalt should not get too comfortable either. DWP wants it all in house so that's a significant chunk of the work that has to stay in the UK for security reasons at risk too. I understand Bulgarian language courses will soon appear in the Learning Catalogue.

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Activision to buy Candy Crush developer King

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Stock or Cash? What now for Derby County?

Mighty all conquering Rams? You ovine botherers clearly have a sense of humour.

See you Friday @19:30, COYR!

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What's Meg Whitman fussing over: The fate of HP ... or the font on a DISRUPTIVE new logo?

Miss Lincolnshire

The rectangle is in outline because it would cost too much in ink to fill it in.....

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Doctor Who becomes an illogical, unscientific, silly soap opera in Kill The Moon

Miss Lincolnshire

A bit of perspective please

I think people are reading too much into the whole thing. It's a kids show that had to wait almost 50 years for CGI to catch up and do it justice.

Capaldi is a great actor. I enjoy his take on the Doctor. Aside from Strax, who gets some good one-liners, I couldn't care less about any of the occasional supporting cast .

As for Clara/Jenna Louise Coleman, I would crawl naked through an ocean of radioactive Time War debris just to sniff the cotton bud that she'd cleaned her ears out with.

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