* Posts by Miss Lincolnshire

129 posts • joined 22 Jan 2010

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BAE confirms it is slashing 2,000 jobs

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Calling Mr Kim!

And after Brexit we can get back to building the original Typhoon and some Fairey Swordfish for the new carriers. I bet the swarthy foreigners are cowering already.

Britain is back......................................to the 40s

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DXC squeezes suppliers for extra margin, issues ultimatum

Miss Lincolnshire

Approach them directly. Pay them a better rate than they get and lower one than you are paying HP.

Everyone's a winner

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Not surprising

Wilson's a clown. In his previous incarnation under HP he told a Town Hall in Telford that the redundancies that had just been announced (bear in mind they've been going on for almost 10 years) weren't aggressive enough and that he'd have gone for double the number.

Zero self awareness is not a soft skill.

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DXC Technologies mails another corp message (gulp)

Miss Lincolnshire

I should imagine anyone that worked for CSC is relieved to be able to take that particular carbuncle off their CV.

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Miss Lincolnshire

Snake Oil

They replaced the old 5 level HPE ES performance markings with 3 just prior to CSC. The new ones were "Stalled" - you're expensive expect the bullet, "Driving" - we are making money from you but will still sack you when it suits us and "Accelerating" - don't expect a payoff to go yet as you are making us a profit.

Prior to the switch I had 7 consecutive "exceeds expectations" makings, the second level down and considered as a strong perormer. After the change, despite taking more responsibility for no extra salary, I was dropped back into the middle tier pot under a new system that makes it statistically more difficult to be a "top performer".

An ethical system would say, "If you achieve A you will get £x". The system they employ doesn't. It's all about talking up airy fairy notions with no objective measure. 5% is derisory when you consider that middle managers and above are on a far better promise than that and payment doesn't even depend on their individual performance. I got an unexpected £9k in 2015 purely by my boss switching my job code on promotion.

Finally anything you do get won't be consolidated into salary so it's a one-off and bonuses are no longer pensionable so you won't even get any benefit that way. As usual this is good for the headline but the reality is 95% will get bugger all. And we all know who the 5% are.

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It's happening! Official retro Thinkpad lappy spotted in the wild

Miss Lincolnshire

As long as

....it's a better repro than the ZX Spectrum

Bag of nails and the keypad, now I'm used to a modern one, unusable

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Plink: Lego swaps CEO for newer piece

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Age discrimination?

"Coloured" ? Tut. Have you not read the memo?

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GoDaddy gives white supremacist site its marching orders after Charlottesville slur

Miss Lincolnshire

The hats are more Stahlhelm than tin foil.

Why do white supremacists always seem to be obese, scruffy, poorly educated and plastered in tatts?

Aryan race has let itself go a bit.

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DXC Franken-firm 'on track' to slash $1bn with deeper 'synergies' ahead

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: And those £18k grads are replacing those with 5+ years expereince

The only way I'd work for the likes of Hurd, Whitman, Nefkens, Matthoolie, Wilson etc again would be as an undertaker

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Miss Lincolnshire

I've got a good idea....

....why not stop sacking Graduates in Cobalt and Erskine then you won't need to recruit more? A significant number of Grads were cut loose back in March by HPE ES. Maybe they were too expensive @ about £21k a pop.

I don't bother looking at The Register to see when DXC are shedding staff these days. I already know from the quarterly ramp up of connection requests I've received in LinkedIn. A dozen requests in the last two weeks, some from people who thought themselves bulletproof. Lawrie and Nefkens must have the axe out big time...... even the favourites are leaving now.

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WannaCry-killer Marcus Hutchins denies Feds' malware claims

Miss Lincolnshire

He's shure got a Purdy mouth.

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Dump X of your crew, DXC Technologies UK told. Hundreds face axe again

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Hey Nick Wilson

Wilson is an absolute tosser.................................of chocolates to participants in Town Halls.

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Oracle CEO Mark Hurd scoops up $17.4m from 350,000 share sales

Miss Lincolnshire

As an ex HP employee....

... I am delighted for him.

After all that massive 5% salary cut that he took in solidarity with the workers demonstrated what a truly caring, role model of a boss he was.

What's that? He didn't apply the cut to his bonuses you say? I'm shocked.

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IBM's contractor crackdown continues: Survivors refusing pay cut have hours reduced

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Mystic Meg mode

Creating DXC was an excellent idea and a fitting endpoint

Put all the twats in one place...............................................Pune

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: The 'Hours Plan'

Pogs, it's all about Pogs. Wooden Dollars. Pretend money.

Fictional costs that don't actually exist when people are not getting paid overtime but that still get billed internally at the hourly rate without any cap even after you’ve done your 5 days. I remember working through a Sev1 where I booked a straight 38 hours because that was the hours it took to do the fix. That was 38 hours at £80 an hour on the internal rate card. Over £3k when I was not clearing amount a month. My resource pool lead looked good that month. I got bugger all.

Aside from distorting the real costs of project and live service delivery it also sees funds sucked off into areas that should not be doing anything other than break even on the resource they supply. Is it any wonder that those not delivering have more budget to waste than those that don’t?

Typical that it is the costs rather than the physical effects on individuals that bother IBM (and HPE and CSC and etc ) the most.

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Miss Lincolnshire

Nothing new

HPE were doing this when I was there.

10% Rate cut demands

Easter "Furlough" - 4 days

Summer "Furlough - 8 days

Christmas "Furlough" - 10 days

All sprung on you with no notice. When you aren't there the increasingly sparse, and non overtime earning, permanent staff get battered to cover the gaps. They can't and customers suffer.

I won't work for them again, they either want the job you were employed for doing or they don't. I worked a "professional" day so they were already getting at least a free day a week off me as it was but they still had to take the piss and push it.

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DXC Technology puts reluctant office movers on naughty step

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Bah!

"Quiet now, there's a good gentlemen"

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Not getting this....

Nicer Pret-A_Manger near Walbrook probably

Underlying all of this there will be an initiative to force people into central London office space when they have been perfectly constructive shuffling in to work from a spare bedroom at home.

Wilson doesn't do anything unless there's an ulterior motive, and this will be about pissing people off so they'll leave without seeking a payoff . I'm surprised he offer to stand in the lobby and chuck sweets at them as they arrive.

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DUP site crashes after UK general election

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Is it just me...

There's plenty to dislike about Foster's party without it resorting to personal abuse

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Miss Lincolnshire
Gimp

Never, Never, Never

So, question for all those Tory voters that bought Fallon's hyperbolic guff and voted to keep terrorist sympathisers out of government.

How'd that go?

It's not a Gimp it's a Balaclava

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Axed from IBM for remote working? Don't go crying to HPE

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Mostly pointless...

The only company that Whitless has grown is CSC

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Miss Lincolnshire

Tyrannosaurus Meg

Despite living only 7 miles away the I rarely went into my HPE office. The last time was to hand in my laptop after I'd had the email confirming my VR payments were agreed. The place was like the Marie Celeste such were the swingeing cuts that this parasite has overseen.

Talk of people being unproductive is nonsense, we are all over 18, we all have a work ethic and if we weren’t trusted we’d never have been given the bandwidth to work remotely in the first place. With us all working on disparate projects across many accounts what is the point of driving to an office to sit with people that you are not working with? A colleague of mine was forced to drive into Telford from Coventry, around 75 miles each way, to sit on Skype all day talking to people in Erskine. He’s gone too because the reality is that Whitman has used "back to the office" as a shoddy tool for justifying mass job losses, forced relocations and generating VR applications from disillusioned staff.

It makes me laugh when she talks about turning the company around. She has done nothing but split it and sell to get her bonus payouts. It’s a husk.

As another poster says HPE is a dinosaur that hasn't realised it's dead yet.

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Tech can do a lot, Prime Minister, but it can't save the NHS

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: The basics...

...to hide away in the forests of magic money trees that the Tories are happy to see thrive in the Cayman Islands

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IBM: ALL travel must be approved now, and shut up about the copter

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: See it all before

When HP took over EDs we were all given an enforced block off at Christmas because factories shut down for Santa so why shouldn't live customer support on production systems do the same?

You know it makes sense

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UK PM May's response to London terror attack: Time to 'regulate' internet companies

Miss Lincolnshire

The Vicar's Daughter.....................

...................is a control freak who wants to control everything. Who'd have guessed?

20,000 Police off our streets since 2010 and a Capital Gains Tax cut in the offing for the chosen few.

5th richest country in the world. We can afford decent public services.. We just need to choose to and not believe the lies from vested interests. Thursday would be a good day to do that.

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BA IT systems failure: Uninterruptible Power Supply was interrupted

Miss Lincolnshire

Contractor cocks up enormously.....

..........remind me to renew my indemnity insurance tout de suite

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DXC Technology warns staff of multiple office closures

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Was always going to happen

................................only the DXC plan is to have one office 5% full

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DXC Technology looks to lighten the payroll six weeks after launch

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: anybody Know?

There isn't any significance, it means nothing. It has been designed to be instantly forgettable in preparation for when the barely breathing rump of what is left gets subsumed into Tata or another Asian outsourcer in about 5 years from now in return for their lining Lawrie's extremely deep pockets.

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Miss Lincolnshire
Coat

The good news however...............

......................is that HPE are so good at this, having had so much practice, that those sacrificed this time around can be pretty sure of getting their wedge on 21st July without issues.

Just don't believe the robotically delivered nonsense in Exit calls 2 & 3 where they try to tell you you're being binned because you are not performing. This genuinely is a case of "It's not you, it's them".

Coat because getting mine was the best thing I'd done in years.

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IBM: Customer visit costing £75 in travel? Kill it with extreme prejudice

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Hmm

Better than that I got the full 15 months payoff (12 months salary + PILON) and started on a contract within a month of leaving. Less hassle, less stress, nice people and I'm actually learning again. Thanks McKinsey.

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Hmm

Mark Hurd missed a trick there. I once drove from Birmingham to Cobalt (Newcastle) where my car refused to start and was taken home by a series of AA Relay blokes.

I claimed and received every penny of the return trip :)

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Male escort forgot pregnancy protection, scores data protection instead

Miss Lincolnshire

A bit of a cock up on her part

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Miss Lincolnshire

Bit of a cock up on her part

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UK outsourcing market hits record levels

Miss Lincolnshire

Spare a thought for the outsourcers....

..... it's not easy.

Each time the likes of DXC (the bastard child of CSC and HPE) expand their customer base that's a massive overhead in terms of senior ITO managers having to go to visit extra disgruntled customers each subsequent quarter as news of the next mass layoff round starts to get out.

It can't be easy assuring a customer that you really care and that their service is your priority before rushing off to ensure you have the absolute minimum headcount, probably robbed from another account that complains less, to keep your SLAs bubbling away just the right shade of red to get away with just too few failures and penalties to provoke a termination.

Companies that cede their futures and control to these charlatans instead of investing in their staff get what they deserve.

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Another career suicide as reporter leaves The Register for broadcaster

Miss Lincolnshire

Andrew who?

The only Orlowski I am a fan of is Teresa

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Just delete the internet – pr0n-blocking legislation receives Royal Assent

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Strong and stable leadership!

Not in this house. The Poundshop Thatcher can stick her peurile personal attacks and evasive answers up her autocratic banshee arse.

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MPs worried Brexit vote website wobble caused by foreign hackers

Miss Lincolnshire

Quelle Surprise

Post Brexit vote Britons blame it all on bloody foreigners.....

Thank God, an Englishmen of course, that we aren't just a pathetic bunch of past dwelling, post Empire xenophobes with a jumped up opinion of our own importance.

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Franken-firm DXC Technology is born today, the fun begins...

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Building signage at Bracknell or lack thereof

Seeing as jobserve.com is advertising for contract PMs to decomm HPE ES estate and software in Bracknell I'd say your are correct.

I'd have applied myself but theres no way DXC are clawing any of my wedge back by seeing me again within 12 months.

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Whalesong? That's the sounds of a Norwegian Blue...

"It's almost like they're using a place holder logo for a company that won't be around for long and which they hope is as unmemorable as possible so that it's slash and burn reputation doesn't pass on to the next owner."

A cynic might say that's Lawrie and Nefkens' 5 year plan.

A realist would know they have no plan beyond the next 3 months redundancies.

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Miss Lincolnshire

What a shallow, shambolic charade. I bet the Mackems are loving seeing all the black and white shite shirts in Cobalt.

Today will see an atmosphere akin to the last days in the Berlin Fuhrerbunker. Hedonistic nihilism reigns. Enjoy the forced jollity today folks, redundancies start up again tomorrow.

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Stop us if you've heard this one before: IBM sheds more workers – this time, tech sales

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: For Those of Us not Working in the States

Reamed Anally or Resource Action, I forget which.

Comes to much the same thing.

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Is that a Veeam in HPE's eye? IT giant may gobble backup biz

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Hang on

Only elaborate excuses for mass redundancies

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Don't believe the hype: UK's £455m Government Digital Service lacks a clear role – fresh audit

Miss Lincolnshire

I was selected for an interview with HMRC digital transformation. It was absolutely baffling and centred on irrelevance, theory and jargon.

My interviewer seemed to spend his life reading blogs and appeared rather non-plussed when I explained that tended to do work.......

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Oracle doing due diligence on Accenture. Yep, you read that right

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Ooooooh, finally...

Did you miss the memo?

HPE's mantra is '"we're not satisfied until you're just the right side of dis-satisified to see the contract out".

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Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Mark Turd

"Dell/Sun/EMC/Cisco!"

Thank you for proving my point, you just forgot to add HP, Fujitsu and IBM

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Miss Lincolnshire

Mark Turd

It was Hurd that bought EDS and screwed it over by first taking away its solution agnosticism by going hard sell and then ripping its heart out along with all costs, be they essential or not.

Now he's lining up to do the same to the Ruperts and Camillas. Poor souls only just got back from the ski lodge.

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IBM could have made almost all the voluntary redundancies it needed

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: Loyalty

As one who will be told today that they are "exiting" HPE ahead of the bastard child being formed with CSC the sole comfort I have is that my payoff is likely to be one of the last at the old EDS rate.

Under Nefkens and Lawrie the "inventory" will almost certainly be worth less as they are given the bum's rush in June, September, December etc etc.

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Has your spouse stayed on after Mobile World Congress? This sex doll brothel might be why

Miss Lincolnshire

If it sneezes, it's full.

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Congratulations IBM for 'inventing' out-of-office email. You win Stupid Patent of the Month

Miss Lincolnshire

Re: @tekHedd

Legend (as in utter made up bollocks) has it the culprit was Gordon Brown

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