Re: So, plays tunes you own, alarm clocks stuff you set and listens to everything you say 24/7
> Who on earth has their spouse in their phone under the name "My Wife"?
You don't need to. On the phone, at least, if you ask to call your wife, mother, sister, etc. it will ask you who that is, then assign that information to them (I think in the "nickname" field of the contacts), so it will work in future.
I don't have a Google Home to test with, but it works fine on the phone or through Android Auto.