* Posts by Velv

2152 posts • joined 21 Jan 2010

Royal Bank of Scotland website goes TITSUP*

Velv
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Re: RBS?

“Fred Goodwin did it another way. He simply leveraged the bank to a stupid extent and then purchased a load of sub-prime (ABN AMRO). ”

Shows how little you know. RBS was not leveraged, it bought the sub-prime ABN-AMRO with 10Bn cash. The problem was then not having any “savings in the bank” when hard times hit.

If RBS had not bought ABN AMRO and Barclays had won the deal, when the crash hit Alistair Darling would have been asking Fred Goodwin to bail out Barclays in the same way he asked Lloyds to bail out Halifax Bank of Scotland. There would have been no under the table Qatari rescue of Barclays.

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Chainmail tires re-invent the wheel to get future NASA rovers rolling

Velv
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Coat

"Throw in the fact that it's not yet possible to send a spare wheel to Mars and have it fitted"

You can. You just call out The AA or the RAC. But I believe you need to be with your vehicle with your membership card to hand when they arrive. (adapted from Sheldon Cooper, The Big Bank Theory)

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'Do the DevOps?' No thanks! Not until a 'blameless post-mortem' really is one

Velv
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Coffee/keyboard

One problem I’ve encountered with “doing the DevOps” is that it is perceived as a new way to do IT. All of IT. Everything agile.

The article hints at it, it works really well for software development and release. Being agile delivering hardware is not so easy. You can be agile if you’ve delivered a capability to be that way, hardware sitting waiting to be used. And cloud can help. But in this austere world, who is really going to pay.

DevOps is NOT a panacea, a cure all. It is simply another tool in the box to potentially bring benefits. Done well, you save. Done badly, you go out of business.

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Pastry in a manger: We're soz, Greggs man said

Velv
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Mushroom

Christians getting upset at Greggs...

...while sticking a dead tree in their house and cover it with tinsel and lights, spend millions on "presents" for friends and relatives who already have more stuff than they need, all while eating and drinking themselves into several stupors. Because that's the true meaning of Christmas.

To those Christians who quietly go about observing their belief, I wish you good tidings. The rest of you hypocrites get the mockery you deserve.

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World Vasectomy Day: 15k men line up for live vent-blocking

Velv
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Headmaster

There are a small number of people who enjoy medical attention.

For the vast majority the thought of any kind of medical procedure is depressing, a unpleasant necessity, something we need to do but would rather we didn't. Last hospital I visited didn't have the entertainment of cocktail service and a cabaret band, it was kind of focused on the serious job at hand.

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Now Oracle stiffs its own sales reps to pocket their overtime, allegedly

Velv
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Gimp

Re: Paid overtime...I wish

Unless you are the only person on the bottom rung of the ladder, why are you and your colleagues persisting the "culture".

If a substantial number of colleagues can highlight that working the hours of the big boss is NOT in the best interests of the company you'll have better engaged employees who'll probably do more work in less time.

A good boss will already know this and should be directing their management team to change the culture. A poor boss expects you to be there when they arrive and still be there when they leave. Or is the culture set by the mid-level staff who don't actually know what the big boss wants...

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Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger

Velv
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Go

Re: Makes a change from chocolate

Gin - John Lewis.

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Velv
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Trollface

Don't worry. Godwin will be along shortly too

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Shiver me timbers! 67cm Playmobil pirate ship sets sail for Caribbean

Velv
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Pirate

Re: Nearly as good as the PARIS project...

I think your backronym should probably be on the ships name:

Aberdeen

Dread

Ventures

Ever

Nearer

Trinidad

Using

Radich

Excursion

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Alexa, please cause the cops to raid my home

Velv
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Pirate

Fortunately for him, Amazon has offered to pick up the 500 euro tab for Alexa's weekend party as a sign of goodwill. Although whether his neighbors will be as forgiving is yet to be seen.

Amazon has given the neighbours a free Alexa and Prime membership.

Revenge is a dish best served cold...

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You know what's coming next: FBI is upset it can't get into Texas church gunman's smartphone

Velv
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Boffin

Re: FBI can't unlock smartphone

"There is presumably a small logical difficulty in preventing violent killers in the military having guns"

He was disgracefully discharged from the Military, and as a matter of policy such people are meant to be added to the "no guns" list. Clearly the "no guns" list is an effective gun control...

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Velv
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Mushroom

"murder-suicide"

You what?

It was NOT a "murder-suicide".

This was pure out-and-out murder by a man who had access to guns.

He tried to get away, and may have died in the escape, possibly by his own hand, but lets not dress this up. It was another mass killing as a direct result of the free access to guns in the USA.

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Frowns all round as Smile and Co-op online banking goes down

Velv
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Trollface

Waiting for the obligatory "why don't they fail over to DR" commentards without anyone knowing the root cause of the issue

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'Qualcomm, we will buy you... for... one HUNDRED... BILLION DOLLARS' – Broadcom

Velv
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Pirate

Re: No way in hell

Really?

You seem to forget who is in the Whitehouse trying to remove regulation

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Punctual as ever, Equifax starts snail-mailing affected Brits about mega-breach

Velv
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FAIL

Re: Moved house?

Equifax are useless with addresses.

They cannot agree that I'm on the Electoral Roll since the Electoral Roll in Edinburgh doesn't use the Postcode Address File (it uses the Rates valuation scheme of old).

Experian and Callcredit both managed to put together all the records, Equifaxs response was "get your bank to change your address"

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Health quango: Booze 'evidence' not Puritan enough, do us another

Velv
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Re: Why can't academics simply tell the truth

Not just biting the hand that feeds you, the commissioning body would simply commission another report from someone else and your report would never see the light of day.

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Velv
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Big Brother

Can I just remind everyone that the current Secretary of State for Health is Jeremy Hunt.

Now that Public Health England have been caught red handed lying about the scientific evidence is he going to resign?

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USB stick found in West London contained Heathrow security data

Velv
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FAIL

"Hmm, I've found this USB stick, lets just plug it into my computer and see what is on it"

What a great untraceable way to start the spread of malware. Just leave some infected USB sticks lying around and wait for them to be plugged in

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Healthcare insurance cheat-bot bros Zenefits cough up $1m to make SEC probe go away

Velv
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Facepalm

Great, SEC making sure the shareholders are compensated.

Who’s compensating the policy holders who have potentially missold health cover?

Tells you everything you need to know about America.

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Roaming charges drop smacks O2 daddy Telefonica in the profits

Velv
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Re: Losing customers

OK, maybe I missed something in the email, but aren’t they removing the Tu Go app because the phones now have it native in the OS? I know the iPhone does, and I’m fairly sure more recent Androids do too.

Doesn’t help if you’re on an older device, but then I’m not aware of comparable Apps on other networks for WiFi calling either.

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Assange™ says Trump's voter-targeting firm asked WikiLeaks for something

Velv
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Flame

Re: Why the Assange hate on El Reg?

“I’m The Leader of the Gang (I am)” is a magnificent song, chant, anthem.

Doesn’t stop Gary Glitter being a completely obnoxious evil cunt.

Don’t cross the general good points of Wikileaks with the behaviour of Assange, one good deed does not make you a Saint.

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Velv
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Childcatcher

Please stop feeding the media whore by publishing non-articles like this

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No, the FCC can't shut down TV stations just because Donald Trump is mad at the news

Velv
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Devil

"(Anjit) Pai was made chairman of the FCC by Trump in January"

Anjit Pai was sacked as chairman of the FCC by Trump in October

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'Open sesame'... Subaru key fobs vulnerable, says engineer

Velv
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Boffin

Maybe I missed something here...

You can unlock the vehicle right? OK, so you can get at any possessions stored in the boot, glove box etc.

But this doesn't bypass the immobiliser? You still need the correct key in the ignition to start the thing?

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Assange thanks USA for forcing him to invest in booming Bitcoin

Velv
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Headmaster

Re: Paper profits only

You're making the assumption that anyone Wikileaks wants to pay won't accept Bitcoin. If they can spend the Bitcoin then they're not illiquid.

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Concerns raised about privacy, GDPR as Lords peer over Data Protection Bill

Velv
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Headmaster

Re: Confusing and unworkable

"You must delete personal data if you are no longer using it. You must not delete personal data if the subject will ever want to access it."

So I can't delete the data I'm no longer using in case the subject in the future wants to raise a Subject Access Request to see the data that was being held on them.

All seems a bit rushed and poorly written to me

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'There has never been a right to absolute privacy' – US Deputy AG slams 'warrant-proof' crypto

Velv
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Boffin

So if someone wants to get legal, technically there is no encryption available today that cannot be broken.

What there is however is strong encryption that makes the breaking sufficiently complex and expensive to make such a breaking impractical.

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VPN logs helped unmask alleged 'net stalker, say feds

Velv
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Big Brother

Re: Location, Location, Location

"Use a provider and a server based in a country that's not in the Five Eyes and you should be out of the reach of the FBI and their friends."

Oh how naive you are. You might be out of reach of the flat foot plod, but don't for one minute think you are out of reach of those who are above the law.

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What is the probability of being drunk at work and also being tested? Let's find out! Correctly

Velv
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Pint

Define "drunk" :)

Back in the early 90's a company I worked for had a policy. The actual wording was "you must not attend work drunk to the extent of being incapable". Left quite a lot of scope for a pint or three at lunchtime (and to be fair there was no risk of working with alcohol in the system other than not getting the work done).

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It's a real FAQ to ex-EDS staffers: You'll do what with our pensions, DXC?

Velv
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Flame

Public Sector Employees "UNDERPAID"

Next time someone from the public sector claims their salary is lower than those in the private sector, point them at this.

Yes, on the headline "salary" private sector does seem to be ahead. But once you remove this 40% pension contribution, suddenly the Public Sector looks like a vastly better deal. And the Public Sector pension scheme can't go bust like many private schemes have.

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Twitter's 280-char blog mode can be enabled client-side. Just sayin'

Velv
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Re: Never understood why ..

So make it unlimited characters.

Congratulations, you’ve just invented Facebook.

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Gov contractor nicked on suspicion of Official Secrets Act breach

Velv
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Big Brother

As Bernard Woolley put it about leaks from Ministers:

"That's one of those irregular verbs, isn't it? I give confidential security briefings. You leak. He has been charged under section 2a of the Official Secrets Act. "

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Helium's for balloons and squeaky voices, not this 10TB Toshiba beast

Velv
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Boffin

I love the MTTF figures that all the disk vendors come up with.

2,500,000 hours Mean Time To Failure - that's 104,166 days, or 285 years. Disk drives haven't even been around 85 years, never mind 285.

Now I understand there's some complex predictive statistics going on, but given my (and I'm guessing your) experience of many drives failing in under 5 years (and a substantial number do), then if the mean is 285 years then they are predicting more than half the drives will still be working after 285 years. BOLLOCKS!

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Have MAC, will hack: iThings have trivial-to-exploit Wi-Fi bug

Velv
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Coffee/keyboard

Re: iPhone 5

While I suspect you're right and no manufacturer will "support beyond 2 years", this is not a situation we the consumer should be simply accepting.

A smartphone is no longer just a bunch of cheap electronic components, it is an entire computing device costing several hundred pounds (or £1,000+ for some!).

We wouldn't accept Windows, Linux or MacOS being out of support after two years, so why should we accept it for iOS or Android (or any other that comes along). I can understand manufacturers having a warranty on the hardware of 1-2 years, but the OS as a soft item should be supported and upgraded for a realistic life. We're not talking about feature enhancements, we're talking security, and let's face it, in the vast majority of cases the core code will not have changed for the same security vulnerability over the years, so the fix will generally be known to the author.

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Velv
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Big Brother

Re: iOS 11 brings more issues

"For the best experience on your iOS device, try to keep Wi-Fi and Bluetooth turned on."

In other words, in order for us best to track your every movement in real time it's best if you keep Bluetooth and Wi-Fi turned on.

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Chairman Zuck ends would-be president Zuck's political career

Velv
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Childcatcher

YES, it matters which Puppet is in The Whitehouse.

Because Puppets are normally silent, voiced by someone allegedly with talent.

When the Puppet can talk for itself it shoots its mouth off and gets everyone in trouble.

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NBD: Adobe just dumped its private PGP key on the internet

Velv
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Devil

"Adobe has not returned a request for comment on the matter"

Couldn't you just use the leaked private key to make up your own signed response???

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Red Hat pledges patent protection for 99 per cent of FOSS-ware

Velv
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Boffin

Not all patents are taken out purely for financial reasons. Sometimes it is good for an innovation to be protected by patent to prevent nefarious types from exploiting the invention, say by producing and selling fakes (which could be potentially fatal with things like pharmaceuticals). It is up to the patent holder to determine if they’re going to charge for a license or not.

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This article has been deleted

Velv
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Childcatcher

Re: I would like to be the first to point out...

In the hope of finding a humorous reply to your comment I googled "naked baristas".

Top hit was youtube video of said "bikini baristas" in Washington State.

If you're going to be pedantic and want pictures then I guess you'll just need to screen cap

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El Reg is hiring an intern. Apply now before it closes

Velv
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Headmaster

"access to our watercooler (when there's water in it)"

So does that mean you don't get access to the watercooler if there is no water? Is this just a workplace policy, or is there a physical access control in place?

"... our ingenious sub-editors will de-clunkify your prose..."

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Apple's adoption of Qi signals the end of the wireless charging wars

Velv
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Boffin

Having read the brief (sad, I know), Apple has produced a pad that complies with the standard and can be used by all devices that follow the standard. It also includes some enhanced features that it hopes the standard will encompass in the future.

Finally Apple is trying to be evolutionary with everyone else instead of purely revolutionary on their own.

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Indian call centre scammers are targeting BT customers

Velv
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Boffin

I guess we're lucky its only low level things like telecoms that have released our personal information into the offshore workforce and we're seeing only a few thousand pounds fraud.

Imagine how much worse it could be if it were the big banks who had all these offshore workers with direct access to the exact financial status and personal details of individuals and companies...

Fraud can take place anywhere in the world. It takes place here in the UK as well as every other country. However there is a relative value proposition at work - the relative profit of committing fraud in India is much greater than in the UK, therefore its more likely to occur more widely at much lower levels. That cheap offshore labour might not be so cheap if your fraud incidence rises.

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80% of IT projects in public sector delayed due to IR35 – report

Velv
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When is someone in HMRC going to admit that the Income Taxation structure in the UK is no longer fit for purpose.

The method of engagement of workers has vastly changed since National Insurance was introduced 106 years ago, and even since PAYE in 1944. Instead of making up stupid schemes to block the "loopholes" that have emerged, re-write the entire structure such that all earnings are taxed on an equal basis.

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Deputy AG Rosenstein calls for law to require encryption backdoors

Velv
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Re: Flogging a Dead Horse?

@Big John

Trump has a big ego and only big causes will energize him, such as Immigration, Taxes, Health Care and the like.

HELLO!!!

Terrorists!

Wasn't it his first Executive Order to persecute Muslims as all his followers consider them a terrorist risk that needs controlled and monitored?

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Fancy talking to SAP about your indirect licensing concerns? Straw poll says no

Velv
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Facepalm

"Yes Mr Police Officer. Even though nobody saw me I'll happily discuss driving at 120mph on the empty motorway with you."

Given what appears to be a ludicrous licence offering from SAP, like one of those asked, I'm surprised anyone is willing to discuss the situation with SAP given its almost entirely likely you're going to get screwed.

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Sorry, but those huge walls of terms and conditions you never read are legally binding

Velv
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Boffin

Standard T&Cs

The sensible option would be to have a published standard set of conditions that we can all be familiar with and therefore should be easy to explain and accept.

OK, so each business is going to argue their own unique nuance, but really, are any of them all that different.

It's been done in Scotland. When you buy a property each sides solicitor/lawyer would draw up their version of the contract. Much back and forth would take place until agreement was reached. To simplify the process a Scottish Stand Clauses was approved by the Law Society.

Perhaps this is something Which? or similar could champion (in the UK)

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Velv
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Headmaster

Re: It didn;t used to be this way

"Are you suggesting that in America you can waive your right not to be a slave if that was in the terms and conditions, and that the courts would uphold it and the federal government enforce it?"

That is exactly what the court has sanctioned. The T&Cs remove the right to resort to the established legal system, and the judge has ruled this is acceptable.

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UK.gov is hiring IT bods with skills in ... Windows Vista?!

Velv
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What code is running on Apple's Secure Enclave security chip? Now we have a decryption key...

Velv
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Boffin

Re: US police don't use baton.

Even if they don't carry batons or night sticks, most carry a large 6 cell torch such as a MagLite

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Web-enabled vibrator class action put to bed

Velv
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Paris Hilton

Opportunity in disguise...

Given the number of exhibitionist type sites out there, I'd have thought the ability to uploads one's orgasms would be a selling point for them...

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