* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

1896 posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

What's up with that ZX Spectrum reboot? Still no console

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Vaporware then.

Trump’s new ZTE tweets trump old ZTE tweets

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Realpolitik?

TalkTalk ups the (dis)satisfaction ante as UK folk wake up to borked email

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

The Register has contacted TalkTalk for more information and will update if anything is forthcoming.

via email?

Want to know what an organisation is really like? Visit the restroom

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

The Man from S.H.I.T.T.E.R. strikes again!

NASA fix for Curiosity rovers's damaged drill: hitting it, repeatedly

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: There is nothing like:

Ta, needed the laugh on this Friday :)

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

NASA engineers are great at exceeding expectations.

Must be fans of Montgomery Scott then :)

Tesla forums awash with spam as mods take an unscheduled holiday

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

good, will give those spammers some other place to peddle their pills then, and leave the rest of us alone.

And THIS is how you do it, Apple: Huawei shames Cupertino with under-glass sensor

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: A removable notch, that's Genius!

Notch se stink agterent. Hulle kan dit indruk waar die son nie skyn nie.

I don't need a notch.

How could the Facebook data slurping scandal get worse? Glad you asked

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

hooverbook - proudly sucking up your data

Did I say Chinese jobs? I meant American jobs says new Trump Tweet

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Trump trumpetting his trumps while Putin's puttin his troops at the ready.

You've got pr0n: Yes, smut by email is latest workaround for UK's looming cock block

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

I can imagine some enterprising entrepreneur will amass a collection of memory sticks, and stick a couple of pr0nz on these (outside the borders of Blighty) then smugglebring them all in under the noses of customs, then distribute on a royalty basis (like the old DVD/Video superstores of old).

With occasional trips to outside Blighty to get updated content in to keep frequent clients happy and paying for the privilege.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Any other subject will result in pornography (or lolcats).

The BOFH in me will most probably put a sniffer on the outgoing email queue to detect such a request, then mangle the contents of said email, so the senderBossly Unit will get lolcats all the time.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Probably mentioned already but

Smoothwall/pfSense with Shalla's blacklist and added pr0n as a blocked content.

Bliss. Except for when the pr0n peddlers will start to use other ways and means to peddle their wares... *cough*

Apple MacBook butterfly keyboards 'defective', 'prone to fail' – lawsuit

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

"If you can't make it good, at least make it look good." - Bill Gates

Prez Donald Trump to save manufacturing jobs … in China, at ZTE

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Cause and effect.

Cut off some trade partners, and some of your own people/factories/whatever may need to close up shop.

And somebody else will fill that niche*.

*Most probably somebody you don't want to do trade with, leaving you in a poorer position.

NASA will send tiny helicopter to Mars

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Airwolf - the Mars chapters

Chap charged with fraud after mail for UPS global HQ floods Chicago flat

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Henderson-Spruce has previously suggested the address change happened by mistake, and that his identity may have been stolen.

Yeah, try selling that to the judge...

Fixing a printer ended with a dozen fire engines in the car park

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Once some colleague put a 'tater in a microwave, wandered off and forgot about it.

Lovely pong of burnt potato all over the office, and the microwave got tossed.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

One ex-manager thought it was a good idea to, when requiring IT assistance, phone IT and inform me that something is smoking.

Which caused me to drop everything I'm currently working on and rush to his location.

First two times it worked. Thereafter it was taken with a "oh, you again" and a pinch of salt. Pissed me off seriously.

Sueballs flying over Facebook's Android app data slurping

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

/checks

Nah, facebewb android app is not installed on my Xiaomi device. Neither is it on my other devices.

Don't want it, it just sucks you dry in the battery, data and productivity dept.

Shining lasers at planes in the UK could now get you up to 5 years in jail

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

It is a good step into the right direction, BUT how do you catch the buggers shining lasers?

Enforcement and catching the ne'er-do-wells are the two biggest problems with this issue.

There will be blood: BT to axe 13,000 employees

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Ouch.

Condolences to the to-be-laid-off.

IBM bans all removable storage, for all staff, everywhere

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

NeXT up - only punch cards are allowed as a viable means to transfer information around.

Australian foreplay: Bum-biting in an underground hole

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Gives new meaning to the term "bite me"...

Africa's internet body hit with sexual harassment cover-up claims

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

This is the way we roll in Africa...

...and I'm not proud of saying that. More like ashamed.

Mike Lynch's British court showdown v HPE pushed back to 2019

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Pint

Re: Buying pigs in pokes often lets cats out of bags.

Love your title.

Here, have one then :)

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Caveat Emptor

As per recent Reg articles, many within HP, including the then CFO, thought the same but they were railroaded and/or simply ignored.

Quite

They must be smug and have "We told you so" attitudes.

IIRC the CFO was fired for sticking to her guns? Can she use this case to sic some lawyery types onto HP for a bigger payday?

Every major OS maker misread Intel's docs. Now their kernels can be hijacked or crashed

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: I'm impressed

Wow... Symbos.de just blew my mind.

Now that is proper programming within the hardware limits...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Re: I'm impressed

Could we please go back to IBM/370 ARM2 Assembler

There - FTFY. 16 instructions, and a debate over whether to include Multiply...

Z80 CPU's in parallel rather?

Commodore 64 owners rejoice: The 1541 is BACK

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

What'll be next? An emulated microdrive for the Speccy? :)

UK's Royal Navy buys £13m mine-blasting robot boat

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Anybody given any thought to Somali pirates (or their equivalent in Arab waters)?

LESTER looks up, spins its wheels: The Register’s beer-butler can see ...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

live voyeurism cam all over London...

... ring a ding dong dillo ...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

So going to make notes here. Maybe I can create something like LESTER, but one which'll bother ne'er-do-wells on our freeholding by sneaking up on them, dropping an activated cherry bomb behind them, and beating a hasty retreat...

Or one which'll scream "Lumme see what I've got here!" behind them before scuttling away.

Something like that. Possibilities are endless.

Admin needed server fast, skipped factory config … then bricked it

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Hallmark of a good BOFH - other people's electronics make amusing biggenbangs :)

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

That still didn't stop me plugging the power connector into a floppy disk the wrong way round.

How did you manage to force a female molex connector the wrong way round into a male connector? I tried it, just could not be done without a lot of excessive force...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

A pop, and not a bang?

What a damp squib.

Glad to hear all ended well though :)

First time I've heard about an application for the elusive 80186 - had fortunate experiences with the 8086, 80286+80287, 80386+80387 and so on...

My first 80486DX I was in such a rush that I did not notice what I was doing and mounted the CPU the wrong way round - part of it glowed briefly before magic smoke escaped... had to toss the board and everything. Learnt my lesson that day.

Sir Clive Sinclair dragged into ZX Spectrum reboot battle

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Just do a "PRINT USR 0" to reset all to defaults.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

R Tape loading error then... not a nice thing to happen.

Zombie Cambridge Analytica told 'death' can't save it from the law

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

hole.dig(deeper)

BOFH: But I did log in to the portal, Dave

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Who's got the RAT on my system

Some joker set the session timeout to about 30 seconds.

BOFH. *grin*

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Things have changed,.

Reminds me of the HP shipping El Reg used to cover in times past - ridiculously small items (like laptop RAM) in a monstrously hideously oversized box (fit for a minivan).

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: I've been there

Intel servers FTW - we've got a couple with good track records.

At first we were wary, but times were tough, so we took the leap.

The downside is that most Intel kit is not built to last forever, whilst HPE (and others) are built to last, but the upside of this is that you are able to afford a new Intel server every two (or three) years, whereas with HPE (and others' kit) you have to grin and bear it until the BOFH slush fund Bossly Unit's CC is full enough to go out and purchase some pretty HPE kit - and have a major hissy fit with driver installation.

So far I never had any issue installing Windoze Server on Intel kit. HPE is another matter though...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

BOFH matures well with age. This is another one of his best ones. :)

Microsoft's latest Windows 10 update downs Chrome, Cortana

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Real reason for Cortana gone walkabouts - she's over in Sugar Rush with Fix-it Felix and Wreck-it Ralph looking for something they all need to win the game...

Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Blame everything on 'computer error' – no one will contradict you

Unless it's known you work in IT. Then it's your fault because you touched it last or you work with computers so you should know.

So doing that to a colleague at present. He fiddled with a server - now it is giving problems, and I just kick the ticket(s) back to him. Let him sort his own messes out.

My PC is on fire! Can you back it up really, really fast?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: I recall even my mum (a bit like Dilmom) telling me a fire story

Ahhh, Zip drives.

I had to toss mine as it was useless what with today's fat files.

Sad to see it go, was a great little helper with storage.

And no, I did not get the dreaded click of death.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Was on duty at a toll road plaza yonkers ago. It was winter, and every toll collector has his/her aircondtioner's heater on in the toll booths.

Supervisor get a panicked call from one toll collector - apparently a fire has started in her AC unit. Strangely nobody acted to extinguish that fire.

I relocated myself swiftly from the control room to the toll booth in question, grabbed the fire extinguisher, located the flames (luckily it was still small) and proceeded to empty the extinguisher on it :) Was fun.

When the AC repair crew rocked up, we found that the culprit was a bad connection to the heater element that overheated and caught fire.

Fun days.

TSB's middleware nightmare: Execs grilled on Total Sh*tshow at Bank

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Slaughter and May... lovely.

May I start the slaughter?

Exclusive to all press: Atari launches world's best ever games console

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Does it include a special easter egg by Warren Robinett?

Vlad that's over: Remote code flaws in Schneider Electric apps whacked

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

What with Trumpmenistan insisting on doing everything by themselves, I expect that IT security will only get worse if not better.

Will be interesting going forward.

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