* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

1896 posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

You have suffered without red-headed emoji for too long. That changes Tuesday

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: 1F984

Do the unicorn fart rainbows?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Any new poo emojis getting pushed out?

Four hydrogen + eight caesium clocks = one almost-proven Einstein theory

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

There was no word on why time seems to slow interminably when a lift is full of sweaty people during a summer lunchtime rush.

Pterry now working for El Reg?

Nadella tells worried GitHub devs: Judge us by our actions

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Got rid of Skype recently, and it feels SO GOOD!

Pity about the rest (desktops, laptops and servers) though.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Guys, before you delete your source repos on Github, add a few deliberate coding errors which'll let the code compile and run, but crash after a while...

Schadenfreude for UK mobile networks over the tumult at Carphone

This post has been deleted by a moderator

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Once the Competition Commission have allowed all the networks to be combined...

Now that will be a *really* daft move.

The market benefits from competition as it keeps everybody on their toes and prices will be kept low.

Once that happens (network combining), prices will go up, service levels will drop and the market will go to pot.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

For me an unlocked phone is better than one that's network-locked.

The carriers, however, may disagree.

I will vote with my wallet. End of the story.

DIYers rejoice: Hitting stuff to make it work even works in space

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

One unavoidable trade-off in getting the drill working again is that some science had to be abandoned: “Curiosity's drill is now permanently extended,” the post said, a configuration that means it can no longer use its sieve device, the CHIMERA (Collection and Handling for In-Situ Martian Rock Analysis).

No doubt the boffins will figure out a way to resolve this problem as well.

Dual-screen laptops debut at Asus' Computex chat

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Why? Why a touchpad/screen thing? What good will it be? Watching pr0nz surreptitiously?

Russian battery ambitions see a 10x increase in power from smaller, denser nukes

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: And the weather is not very nice either

The lunatics are running the asylum nearly everywhere.

Come Inside

(Bert Hansel?)

I was outside a lunatic asylum one day, busy picking up stones

When along came a lunatic and said to me, "Good morning Mr. Jones,

Oh, how much a week do you get for doing that", "Thirty bob I cried"

"What, thirty bob a week, with a wife and kids to keep?

Come inside you silly bugger come inside"

"Come inside you silly bugger come inside, you ought to have a bit more sense.

Working for your living, take my tip, act a little screwy and become a lunatic.

Oh you get your meals most regular and a brand new suit besides.

What's thirty bob a week with a wife and kids to keep.

Come inside you silly bugger come inside."

Did you test that? No, I thought you tested it. Now customers have it and it doesn't work

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Empty...

Excellent hack.

Pity the stiffy drive's all but forgotten now... would've loved to try this trick on my PFY :)

Not to digress - colleague of mine dumped all sorts of viruses and trojans to a stiffy disk, and labelled it clearly "DO NOT USE - VIRUSES" and left it on his desk.

Of course somebody phoned in to complain that their PC's all acting up now - just because said person "borrowed" that "special" stiffy to copy some documents over...

@all windows weenies - can't take a joke, eh? (I refer to the second post which got 10 downvotes)...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

What about Windows?

Help, I'm being held prisoner in a security camera testing factory. So please read this...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Pint

I love the reviews done by El Reg, no sugar coating and you get told the truth, nothing more, nothing less.

Keep it up, and have one!

AWS outage killed some cloudy servers, recovery time is uncertain

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

But the company says some instances haven't come back yet because they were "hosted on hardware which was adversely affected by the loss of power."

What? No graceful handover to UPS power, then to generator power?

HostingUK drops offline after losing Farmer vs Fibre competition

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: I'm on the wrong side of this break

One of our ISP's are experiencing merry dingdong today - ADSL accounts are connecting but absolutely zero throughput.

No communication from them whatsoever, only a deafening silence.

Bah. Beer o'Clock can't come soon enough.

US judge won't budge over Facebook's last-minute bid to 'derail' facial biometrics trial

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Who gots popcorn? Ah, CMOT Dibbler?

Mmmm, fresh and hot.

Thank you, there you go, have a nice day, kthanxbai.

Headless man found in lava’s embrace

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

McDonalds drivethrough in Pompeii after delivering a super-super-super-supersized Big Mac

Sysadmin's PC-scrub script gave machines a virus, not a wash

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Your PC is now Stoned.

Softbank's 'Pepper' robot is a security joke

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Simon's getting his Boss to order a couple dozen of Pepper bots post haste.

Game over: Atari cofounder Ted Dabney dies aged 81

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Any multiplayer Android Pong apps?

Two player only, connected via Bluetooth or wifi.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Seems all the icons of yesteryear is finally shuffling off to /dev/null

Sad.

RIP

IBM's Watson Health wing left looking poorly after 'massive' layoffs

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Watson's going on at IBM?

(insert WAT granny here)

Buggy software could lock a Jeep's cruise control

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

1969's Diesel Landy. :)

Agreed with the sentiment that old-fuddy-duddy technology sometimes are the best, especially if you're deep in the boondocks. Then you most certainly don't need some 5c resistor deciding that now would be a good time to carp and prevent your car from starting/unlocking/getting filled with fuel.

Old-fuddy-fuddy tech is easy to repair in the field, whilst advanced tech is not that easy to repair, most of the time you'll have XP technicians swapping out parts until the fault goes away, and that you most certainly cannot do in a rural area (or especially when you're stuck in a desolate place).

There is a time and place for both. Most of us most certainly don't need fancy things like aircon or electric windows or a heated chair which'll massage your butt at the same time.

Let the city slickers have it with their technologically advanced cars, and let us old-fuddy-duddy guys have our old-fuddy-duddy tech cars, and everybody will be happy.

FBI to World+Dog: Please, try turning it off and turning it back on

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

*cough*

how about no? Or have the FBI counterinfected world+dog, and now want a reboot to make it permanent?

BOFH: Their bright orange plumage warns other species, 'Back off! I'm dangerous!'

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Pint

Excellent BOFH.

Pub o' clock it is then!

Is your smart device a bit thick? It's about to get a lot worse

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

They are more likely to decide that in 5-10 years flipping burgers will be more secure and pay better.

And nobody screaming at you regarding a borked RAID array... until the robots come and start doing the burger flipping for you...

TalkTalk plans to sell family B2B jewel to Daisy Group for £175m

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

And use the money for what exactly?

Advanced VPNFilter malware menacing routers worldwide

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Smoothwall/ipCop/pfSense FTW

Servers crashed and burned. So, Qualcomm's back to Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V'ing Arm cores into phones

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

And what about SPECTRE and Meltdown?

ISP TalkTalk's Wi-Fi passwords Walk Walk thanks to Awks Awks router security hole

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Individual looked puzzled so I suggested the Googled Talk Talk data loss and see if they were happy to have their personal details with a company like that.

Googled it, seems they had two data losses/breaches...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

TalkTalk won't TalkTalk.

Astroboffins, get in here and explain Saturn's odd-shaped balls

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Bah and humbug.

I was thinking of building a bunker on one of those moons, until the scientists mentioned that collisions with other moonlets/asteroids/alien spacecraft may occur.

No way that our local inn-sewer-ants companies will cover such a risky venture...

GDPR for everyone, cries Microsoft: We'll extend Europe's privacy rights worldwide

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Then what about asking Musk nicely to put a server or two on the moon? Pretty sure your data will be safe there, until somebody annex that particular portion physically...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

I had a 100% success rate with a Linux install CD.

No more "phone home" shenanigans for me.

HPE: Hell yeah, those job cuts worked out great… for our investors

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

In the short term, yes. Things will look good.

But, in the long term...

Big bimmer bummer: Bavaria's BMW buggies battered by bad bugs

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

BMW = Buggysource Mit Wheels

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Code reuse may be a good thing, but then again it is an Extremely Bad Thing, especially if the code is Close Source and not open for review by the public.

'Facebook takes data from my phone – but I don't have an account!'

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Just do the following :

rd .facebook_cache

touch .facebook_cache (to create an empty file)

That should be enough to confuse the ne'er-do-well zuckerborg crapplet, yes?

I've used this method to block a couple of worms on computers whose AV was braindead to the worm phutzing around.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

LineageOS FTW.

Pity you don't get ROM's for more devices. I have two Huawei Mediapads, but no ROM's for them. :(

Hitler 'is dead' declares French prof who gazed at dictator's nashers

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Death of Conspiracy theories?....not likely.

1 Brain 1 Jar?

Microsoft, Google: We've found a fourth data-leaking Meltdown-Spectre CPU hole

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

More fun and games.

The great Dell EMC storage slimdown: Giant to trim off product bloat

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

"XtremIO and ScaleIO are merging, focusing effort on the Cyclone platform. XtremIO will cease working on version 6.4 and future version 7 (based on the same hardware platform as Cyclone). The Cyclone team still doesn't know about this."

My prediction is that this will be fumbled in some way or other, as it seems they did not plan well ahead.

Proper planning means that everybody will be informed of the road ahead. Trying to do so at the last minute will only lead to chaos.

Router admin? Bored? Let's play Battleships using BGP!

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Wot's next? DooM over BGP?

Your parents love you, Cortana. That's why we bought you an upgrade

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Ai ja, Cortana.

Probably spawn of Clippy.

>self-censored ruminations follow<

Sysadmin hailed as hero for deleting data from the wrong disk drive

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Bah.

Deleted a .VHDX by accident once - deleted the offending entry in Hyper-V, closed it all up nicely, and never made a mention of it - nobody mentioned anything missing....

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Sidenote Am in your neck of the woods this week - Johannesburg.

Format, reinstall or destructive format? :)

Safe trip!

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Played around with OS/2 on a spare 2Gb HDD.

Then I needed to use said spare HDD in production - made sure the spare is set as slave, and a windows (the one I was to copy from) is the master.

Started up ghost, went my merry way, ghosted it over.

And OS/2 booted up instead of Windows. Luckily a rebuilt-from-scratch was not a major operation, and was well-documented.

Blood spilled from another US high school shooting has yet to dry – and video games are already being blamed

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Just want to say this :

If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.

Flamin' Nora! Brit firefighters tackle blazing fly-tipped boat

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

No Captain's log in this one then?

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