* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

1896 posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

Boffins build a NAZI AI – wait, let's check that... OK, it's a grammar nazi

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Am I missing something ?

An even more minor correction : We already have grammar checkers built in to stuff things like Word up totally.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Grammar Nazi?

No, " Ve haff vays of making you talk, correctly!"

Nein nein nein nein.

"Ve haff vays of makink you tok, sveethot"

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Pedants, imagine how much more relaxed your life would be if artificial intelligence automatically corrected grammar mistake's in online forum and social network posts.

Beautiful. Made the inner grammar nazi squirm and twitch :)

Build your own NASA space rover: Here are the DIY JPL blueprints

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

I'm sure the BOFh and his sidekick is hard at work modding their own version... :)

Going to show my son this article, he'll be very interested. Maybe we can build one to patrol our smallholding at night and warn us of intruders :)

Holy ship! UK shipping biz Clarksons blames megahack on single point of pwnage

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

He added: "However, in this particular instance it appears they hit the jackpot account with their first try - or they have a good passive assessment so they knew which user account to target."

Insider information - the third option.

Can be anything from overhearing from a casual remark to sending in an spy (cleaning staff, contractor sent to fix that overhead light etc etc) to sniff out prospective marks.

Never, ever underestimate the ingenuity and willingness of a ne'er-do-well...

Microsoft devises new way of making you feel old: Windows NT is 25

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

And yet the WorkPlace Shell trumps Windows' GUI...

I miss it. It was so flexible. You can have a dozen folders, each with their own colour schemes and fonts.

And you could have workspaces. Assign apps etc to a workspace (folder) - open it, and all the apps/docs associated with that folder opens.

The only weak point was the .INI files... if one goes corrupt, then you have a jolly time to recover from that issue.

NT4 SP6 was very stable, but not secure. In contrast Win10 is secure (better than in comparison to NT4), but stability is a 50/50 affair, what with the latest tomfoolery from Redmond in insisting it MUST be updated every so often.

I sometimes wonder what would the world have been like had OS/2 and Novell gained serious traction - Novell for file servers and OS/2 for desktop/servers....

Tech Shutdown Blows: IT chaos cost Brit bank TSB almost £200m

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

TSB = Totally Spent Bank

HPE supercomputer is still crunching numbers in space after 340 days

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: "SSDs fail at an alarming rate in space"

Roll on the SSD that can last for ages.

Sysadmin sank IBM mainframe by going one VM too deep

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Also hekje

It was used in "The Hobbit" on the 48k Speccy as a window in the goblins/elves dungeon :)

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: "killing off all 72 developers at once"

Quite amusing to watch - when the Kobayashi Maru scenario was played out in "Search for Spock" consoles explode and people would be hurled away from said consoles...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Rebecca - a flying start

He he he he

At one time I had the BSOD screensaver from Sysinternals running on my servers (and BOFH workstation).

People would comment to me that my machine crashed :)

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Infinite booting

Just curious - how did you manage to resolve this infinite reboot scenario?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Happy

Dear Rebecca

Thank you for a good start to an otherwise dreary and dull week :)

Regards

ASAC

Boss helped sysadmin take down horrible client with swift kick to the nether regions

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Pint

And from a cold and sunny South Africa I would like to wish Simon all of the best with his new Job, and at the same time welcome Rebecca.

Let us now do a Shanbar Ritual toast.

SHANBAR RITUAL TOAST

Excerpted from a treatise by Boos Myller, the traditional Shanbar Ritual Toast consists of four steps:

1 - Here's to us!

2 - Who's like us?

3 - Damn few

4 - And they're all dead.

Before each sentence of the Shanbar Toast, the host offers the guest a glass of some drink (e.g. rye, wine, etc., but not Illumynade). The guest then suggests a toast. The host recites the next sentence in the toast and raises his glass. The guest drinks first while the host waits. Finally, the host drinks his glass, and begins the next step by offering another drink. The first two or three steps of this intricate drinking ritual with our highly potent local rye is enough to make you drunk. Getting past the third step is the key. Remember, don't drink and drive!

Azure running out of internets in UK South, starts rationing VMs

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

That's cloud computing for you!

Trump wants to work with Russia on infosec. Security experts: lol no

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Is Putin good at playing poker?

And Trump?

People hate hot-desking. Google thinks they’ll love hot-Chromebooking

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

In the sight of other men, return your Chromebook.

But, when alone, grabbeth it when you can.

You wanna be an alpha... tester of The Register's redesign? Step this way

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Looks good, no grumbles from my side.

Microsoft's TextWorld gives AI a Zork-like challenge

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

And Jinxter's on its way...

https://strandgames.com/

Enjoy The Pawn and The Guild of Thieves in the meantime.

Tech team trapped in data centre as hypoxic gas flooded in. Again

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: 30 Seconds to comply...

Luckily I was with someone when the lights on one end wall started flashing and a bell rang - it was just to let the site engineer know his desk phone was ringing in his office outside the hall.

Downloaded some brownware when that happened? :)

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Reverting to type?

Who left a ladder precariously propped by the door (plus emergency buttons)?

The PFY?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: New version of Cluedo

But it is always the BOFH/PFY that does it...

OTOH, the game could be to discover who gets the blame...

Something like that...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Not good stuff!

Gives new meaning to "Vaping Halon".

And, yup, it's a BOFH eppysode.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: New version of Cluedo

And I think you're on to something.

What about designing and selling an actual BOFH/PFY game a la Cluedo?

The Boss in the Filing room with the Faulty CattleProd.

Sharon in the Company Canteen with the Listeriosis Viennas. :)

The Janitor in the Stairway with the PFY's patented slippery stuff.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Pint

Re: Hasn't halon been banned or something in the '90s?

Upvoted for the BOFH reference.

And have one (sans laxatives)

Scam alert: No, hackers don't have webcam vids of you enjoying p0rno. Don't give them any $$s

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

So want to sendspam them with emails saying "COME AT ME BRO"...

No, seriously, why are you holding your phone like that?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

/blows raspberries

Crumbs. Apple has tweaked the MacBook Pro keyboard

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Cookie Monster need to review one ASAP.

While munching on cookies.

Dudes. Blockchain. In a phone. It's gonna smash the 'commoditization of humanity' or something

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Blockchain = Bollockschain :)

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Obligatory Dilbert

What can $10 stretch to these days? Lunch... or access to international airport security systems

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: I was "hacked" via RDP

I had a discussion once about the concept of doubling the time between login attempts:

start with a 1 second re-try and double the time for every wrong login attempt. Has anybody ever implemented this?

That's what a good BOFH would do

WITH THE ADDITION of a "bandwidth throttle" the more failed attempts, the more that specific IP or connection will be throttled.

Hopefully the attacker will give up in despair after increasing timeouts and a connection that get progressively slower.

Come to think of it, if it was possible to do a GPO where your timeout increases the more incorrect passwords you type, I will implement it most definitely.

Geoboffins spot hundreds of ghost dunes on Mars

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

"I am the Kwisawtz Haderach. That is reason enough"...

AAAAAAAAAA! You'll scream when you see how easy it is to pwn unpatched HPE servers

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: MS did it with NT too

Hehehe

Used Teardrop against a Win95 PC - and the hard drive crashed when I teardropped it.

Lovely :D

Techie using the PC was very upset, but he did not know who b0rked his PC.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Will "ohsh**ohsh**wegonnadiewegonnadie" also work?

Tired sysadmin plugged cable into wrong port, unleashed a 'virus'

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

"Documentation walked..." and what then?

Maybe you got interrupted by a packet storm?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Confessed? Really?

Intermittent problems are the shiz, yo! Gotta love these as they make you swear for hours on end.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Remote site phoned early one morning, network was down. Toddled all the way over (1hr drive)

Had to play the usual game of "Hunt-the-Terminator" but found none. Went round the site a second, then a third time.

Found two terminators hidden neatly into a recessed conduit in the floor, and an extra T-piece. Disconnected the coax cable from t-piece, plugged in the one terminator, added the "spare" T-piece and second terminator to the other cable and voila.

I'm just glad coax networks have gone the way of the dodo.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Had a rogue D-Stink device on my network doshing out DHCP packets.

The problem got resolved when the wrong firmware got uploaded to it by accident.

Snooping passwords from literally hot keys, China's AK-47 laser, malware, and more

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Botswana's practically next door to us.

Mebbe I should start my own scamming biz up....

And scam the ne'er-do-wells should they land here....

And in current affairs: Rogue raccoon blacks out city power grid after shocking misstep

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Can a 'coon (dead or fried) have Linux installed on it?

http://strangehorizons.com/non-fiction/articles/installing-linux-on-a-dead-badger-users-notes/

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Are you SURE it's dead?

Upvoted for that reference!

I have no prosthetic limbs yet.

AI bots suck at marking written essays, not too shabby at old Atari games, and more...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

"History by mimic has not, and presumably never will be precipitously but blithely ensconced. Society will always encompass imaginativeness; many of scrutinizations but a few for an amanuensis. The perjured imaginativeness lies in the area of theory of knowledge but also the field of literature. Instead of enthralling the analysis, grounds constitutes both a disparaging quip and a diligent explanation."

Whut?? 0 out of 100 for you, then.

Japanese cryptominer slapped with suspended sentence

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Maybe I can *cough* "distribute" a miner on my company's laptops/servers etc... *cough* and blame it on an unknown ne'er-do-well when the dastardly miners are uncovered...

Mmmm. Must be the BOFH inside me.

Sysadmin cracked military PC’s security by reading the manual

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Anybody who managed to haxx0r a Dell Sonicwall yet?

Supposedly to be very secure.

Security guard cost bank millions by hitting emergency Off button

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Big Red Buttons are irresistible!

Obligatory request for a Sir Pterry icon.

Else we'll send Detritus, Granny Weatherwax and Foul Ole Ron over to have a nice talk with youse about that icon we've requested.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

That's an easy one to fix. Unauthorised equipment ends up in the bin.

Had a rogue DHCP server on my LAN once.

Investigated.

Found it was some sort of D-Stink P-O-S which somebody's using as a switch.

It got the wrong firmware uploaded somehow, and ceased to function.

ZX Spectrum reboot firm boss delays director vote date again

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Do you think Monty Python will do a dead horse skit?

Dear Samsung mobe owners: It may leak your private pics to randoms

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Sagsmug.

So glad I decided not to use their products anymore.

The Notch contagion is spreading slower than phone experts thought

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: End game

Terminator and Skynet?

RIP Peter Firmin: Clangers creator dies aged 89

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Postman Pat and his black and white c*t...

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019