* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

1896 posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

Fresh docs detail 10-year link between Geek Squad informers and Feds

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: No problem

And if somebody dumps illegal images on your PC/laptop/smartphone, and report you, what then?

Broadcom baits hook with promise of $1.5bn investment fund to catch Qualcomm

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Cue Dr Evil pinky meme and "We promised, but we did not say when"........

Jupiter has the craziest storms seen yet, say boffins

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Due to the current political situation on Earth, as well as with the masses of special snowflakes popping up all over as well, Sauron decided to move his new HO to Jupiter.

Suspected drug dealer who refused to poo for 46 DAYS released... on bail

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

"Bother" said Pooh as he was evicted most forcefully.

Too many bricks in the wall? Lego slashes inventory

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

breakout irl with the excess blocks?

World's biggest DDoS attack record broken after just five days

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Can't you set up an open memcached host to feed itself UDP packets?

Kind of a vicious loopback as it will start to feed itself more and more until it falls over....

10 PRINT "ZX81 at 37" 20 GOTO 10

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Happy

How long till we do the 48k Speccy's 37th anniversary?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: I had a ZX80

Dabbsy, is that you?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: 3D Monster Maze

Precursor to Wolfenstein and DOOM...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Nostalgia

Why would you want to do that? :)

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

The dreaded R Tape Loading Error after saving a ton of typing in

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: "Syntax error in line ..."

Some magazines (later on) used to have a checksumming utility with which you input a line of code, then it gives you a checksum on completion of that line, which you then compared to the one in the magazine listing. If it compares, you continue on with the next line, if it doesn't, you re-input the entire line.

Especially when having to input machine code stuff. Which tend to crash spectacularly should you get just one line wrong.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

I haven't had a shufty at the ZX81 (or ZX80) but started with the 48k Speccy.

Good memories of those happy days - including time spent typing in "The Eye of the Star Warrior" from a book (Spectrum Adventures : A giude to playing and writing Adventures by Tony Bridge and Roy Carnell).

Roll on with the good memories of a bygone era!

Half the world warned 'Chinese space station will fall on you'

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Skylab Redux.

UK.gov cooks up code of conduct to enforce a smidge of security on Internet of S**t kit

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Just brick all unsecured devices.

And keep on bricking them until the owners buy IoT things with proper security baked in.

Reminds me of "Macbeth does Windows95" by the Usenet Oracle.

Apple's new 'spaceship' HQ brings the pane for unobservant workers

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

The start of Skynet?

123 Reg suffers deja vu: Websites restored from August 2017 backups amid storage meltdown

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

eish

'Repeatable sanitization' is a feature of PCs now

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Just stick the PC into the highest-rated explosion-proof enclosure, and that should prevent any nasties from breeding inside.

OTOH cooling will be a real problem. The unlucky technician who'll be required to service this PC, well...

Good luck saying 'Sorry I'm late, I had to update my car's firmware'

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

All righty then.

Now get the Great Unwashed to update their 2-year old (if not older) IoT tat, and see where that will get you.

Better to brick all those old IoT tat for good and get them to get new IoT stuff that can be updated on a regular basis.

But that ain't gonna happen, the old stuff will remain, spewing out junk until it dies and get replaced by another cheap knockoff.

Brit semiconductor tech ended up in Chinese naval railgun – report

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

y'all need to go read up on "Superiority" by a Mr C. Clarke.

British clockwork radio boffin Trevor Baylis terminally winds down

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Sad to hear.

RIP.

Miner vs miner: Attack script seeks out and destroys competing currency crafters

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

It seems as if it is the taste of things to come.

Especially with crypto-malware - you get infected with one variant that encrypts your stuff, then demand payment. Then another cryptolocker comes along, kicks the original crypto off, and encrypts everything again, and demand payment...

Backups will be key.

That, and eternal vigilance, a tenpack of Rennies and a fridge/cupboard full of [insert your fave energy drink/stay-awake drink here].

Sysadmin left finger on power button for an hour to avert SAP outage

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Nowadays the "hold-the-button-in" trick won't work, because of ACPI, especially on a modern PC.

Reg man wraps head in 49-inch curved monitor

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Goodness gracious me...

Nah, I'll rather prefer to have two (or three) 1920z1080 monitors instead of one YUUUUGE monitor.

With IoT you too can turn your home into a giant flashing 'HORSE BIRTH NOW' klaxon

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Neigh neigh neigh

RedDrop nasty infects Androids via adult links, records sound, and fires off premium-rate texts

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

What if they're really *really* **really** fugly and miff dick or titty pix?

My PC is broken, said user typing in white on a white background

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Muhuhahaha. So going to do Win+Ctrl+C on some poor bugger's PC

Dropbox to let Google reach inside it and rummage about

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

I don't like this.

Guess I'll have to move all my stuff over somewhere else.

Bah and humbug.

Hypersonic nukes! Nuclear-powered drone subs! Putin unwraps his new (propaganda) toys

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

If I was president of a country, I would use wooden props (viewable from spaaaaaaaace) and good CGI to let the world believe I have an army to content with, and pressure them to escalate their weaponry upwards, thus making them waste their money on weapons, soldiers and armoury things whilst building my economy up.

Then making all things money go pear-shaped, buying out their soldiers etc, taking control of their countries that way.

Muhuhahahaha.

Boring. The phone business has lost the plot and Google is making it worse

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Form factors

Same here.

I don't care how thin it is. I want a sturdy phone with a big battery, it doesn't matter if it is Nokia Communicator sized.

And put a proper layer of glass on it (which doesn't crack at the first drop), or give us a slide-out QWERTY (like the LG Chatterbox) but with a decent-sized screen.

Fancy doodahs like a fancy posh camera adds nothing to the phone. And fingerprint sensor? Pfft. Don't have need for such gimmicks.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Phone design

And a hard reset will be a kick in the crotch...

Got that itchy GandCrab feeling? Ransomware decryptor offers relief

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Unhappy

Nobody got this Spike Milligan reference? So sad.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Will blue unction work for this type of crabs?

23,000 HTTPS certs will be axed in next 24 hours after private keys leak

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Nice way to start off your day - gandcrab on the one hand gobblin' wobblin' at your data, and now this...

Being sysadmin is fun sometimes.

Paul Allen's six-engined monster plane prepares for space deliveries

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

"Mine's bigger and better than yours"...

By the way, which one will perform better - His Muskness's Heavy launcher or Allen's aeroplane in lifting heavy stuff?

Virgin Media's Brit biz broadband goes TITSUP: Total Inability To Support Upset People

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

One of the reasons why I tend to shun cloudy storage solutions - especially if you don't have redundant links.

Or the company is stingy with the budget and tries to get by on an el-cheapo home link.

4G found on Moon

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Audi

Oh, can't wait for Audi to tease BMW and Mercedes in their advertisements...

Merc and BMW most probably will also send rovers to the moon (or, even better, Mars) to one-up Audi in this then

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

What will Flat Earthers say?

And the moon landing denialists?

Samsung's Galaxy 9s debut, with not much other than new cameras

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Xiaomi Redmi 4A does it for me.

Recently got upgraded to Android Nougat (7.1) and have a slew of whizzkid features which I'll not use. Can't they make Android modular, so if you want a split-screen function, you just download the appropriate package? Keeping things lean and mean (and less battery-chomping as well).

I still have my old Huawei Mediapad T1 phablet, going strong despite a cracked screen.

Xiaomi is being used as a general day-to-day comms unit (whatsapp/telegram/email etc) whilst the Huawei is used for banking only.

Handset manufacturers will most probably start to collude and design handsets that expire after two years' use, no matter whether they're being used heavily or seldom.

Fender's 'smart' guitar amp has no Bluetooth pairing controls

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

lol, rickrolling sound like a good thing

You get a criminal record! And you get a criminal record! Peach state goes bananas with expanded anti-hack law

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns.

ergo

If you outlaw researchers, only criminals will "research" systems for loopholes, attack vectors and the such.

Apple: Er, yes. Your iCloud stuff is now on Google's servers, too

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Clever move by the beancountery types.

Offload your data to somebody else, and get rid of your data centres (and its associated headaches etc).

Let your competition handle the load for you, and charge your users a pretty penny for data storage etc.

Moar profits. And if somebody (FBI etc) want access to data, they got more hurdles to clear.

The phone OS that muggers wouldn't touch is back from the dead

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

And in other news, the Librarian was on his way to get one of these yellow banananananana phones.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

So Symbian will remain dead.

Except as a fond/bad memory.

Private browsing isn't: Boffins say smut-mode can't hide your tracks

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

There is one problem with all this.

At one stage your traffic have to pass through your ISP, or if you're using a VPN, somebody else's server which may, or may not, log what you're doing, what smut you're ogling and what bomb recipes you've been eyeballing.

Intellisense was off and developer learned you can't code in Canadian

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

In ftre the letter "u" will be dropped from the vocablary as the special snowflakes from across the pond seem to be too lazy in sing it when writing complete sentences.

Words like color and backgrond and seplchre shold be easier to spell and se for them.

Batteries are so heavy, said user. If I take it out, will this thing work?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Land Rover MK2

So easy to byoass that padlock - just use a screwdriver to loosen the rubber fuel pipe leading from the filler neck to the tank, slide it down and out of the way, and then siphon some fuel out, and reverse the removal.

Owner just write it off as evaporation or a malfuntioning fuel meter.

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Re: Electrons

And why doesn't a battery get lighter due to leaky electrons?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Electrons

Lucky not.

Batteries have an internal resistance. Funny thing is, a friend of mine had a LiPO battery pack, which developed a loose wire to the USB port, and he chucked it into a drawer...

...only to discover it two years later. Fixed it by soldering said loose wire to where it should belong to, and the battery pack was still fully charged. Happy chappy.

Flappy Friday for Stack Overflow as outage woes run on

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Somebody edited their bootconfig in windows notepad, and truncated the file?

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