* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

693 posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

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Waiter? There's a mouse in my motherboard and this server is greasy!

Anonymous South African Coward
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And yes, I also got the chance of seeing kitchens - put me off some of the established restaurants for life.

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Got a call from a pub (back in the days) - printer not working.

So off I toddled, expecting the usual LPT cable issue.

But it was not that, a family of cockroaches made said printer their nest, and a couple of roaches got caught up, and gummed up the printer gears driving the head back and forwards...

And it stank of roach. That familiar smell. Disgusting.

Cleaned said printer, it worked fine afterwards. Except for the smell.

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FYI: You can blow Intel-powered broadband modems off the 'net with a 'trivial' packet stream

Anonymous South African Coward
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And things will just go from bad to worse....

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Beware of geeks bearing gifts: Evil game guides infect 2 million Androids

Anonymous South African Coward
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So glad I did not ownload any game guides... Having said that, I will have to check on my daughter's tablet if she inadvertently downloaded something as she complains of adverts popping up.

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Another ZX Spectrum modern reboot crowdfunder pops up

Anonymous South African Coward
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If it also can include a bog-standard VGA connector...

For now I'm using an emulator to teach my son Spectrum BASIC programming...

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(You can't) buy one now! The flying car makes its perennial return

Anonymous South African Coward
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Pint

"Alistair Dabbs is a freelance technology tart, juggling tech journalism, training and digital publishing. He genuinely wishes PAL-V luck with its plans but reserves the right to keep waiting for someone to develop a real flying car – which is to say one that hovers by anti-grav and folds into a suitcase like for George Jetson with a single squeeze of his knob."

*squeeze*

oops, sorry.

'ere, 'aff one for youse...

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Sysadmin 'trashed old bosses' Oracle database with ticking logic bomb'

Anonymous South African Coward
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And another career ruined.

Why do people think that getting revenge by scrambling data/charlie foxtrotting servers/dropping the Bossly Unit in a remote-controlled wheelchair down a manhole is a good option?

As others said it, I will also say it, stay away from such BOFH antics, it will never end well for you.

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Hasta la Windows Vista, baby! It's now officially dead – good riddance

Anonymous South African Coward
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Interestingly never had any BSOD's on the Gigabyte laptops that Vista was bundled with.

Replaced Vista with Win7, same laptop just keep on chugging away, with a bit of performance improvements.

So glad I did not "upgrade" to 10, just nixed the upgrade with Never10 from Gibson.

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As you stare at the dead British Airways website, remember the hundreds of tech staff it laid off

Anonymous South African Coward
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There's outsourcing and then there's outsourcing.

Both are not the same.

If you outsource simply to cut costs, you're setting yourself up for an epic fail.

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72-layer flash die from SK Hynix towers over all, capacity a bit meh

Anonymous South African Coward
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Wow - imagine cramming a whole 2Tb into your phone/phablet... (iThings purposefully not mentioned)

Just makes you go WTF when you look at existing 64Gb~128Gb CF cards...

Heck, I'm getting flashbacks from the DOS days with 10Mb and 20Mb HDD's...

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Subpostmasters prepare to fight Post Office over wrongful theft and false accounting accusations

Anonymous South African Coward
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If only one contractor showed losses, then it was most probably due to some dipping into the tills.

But if multiple contractors all show losses, then the lowest common denominator (the IT system and its associated software system) need to be investigated firstly and properly before accusing anybody of dipping.

But it is so much easier to accuse than to admit that there's a problem with your system... probably somebody siphoning off funds somewhere, thus framing innocent people?

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TP-Link 3G/Wi-Fi modem spills credentials to an evil text message

Anonymous South African Coward
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*shakes head*

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Facebook's 'delightful' AI Clippy the Paperclip creeps into Messenger

Anonymous South African Coward
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Coat

A talking paperclip? How quaint.

mine is the one with the cattleprod in the nasty pocketses...

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'Amnesia' IoT botnet feasts on year-old unpatched vulnerability

Anonymous South African Coward
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...more fun and games, which we don't need.

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Teradata pays ex-prez €4.2m to close 'invalid termination' settlement

Anonymous South African Coward
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Pint

Well said! Here, have one!

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It's 30 years ago: IBM's final battle with reality

Anonymous South African Coward
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Single Input Queue

Gotta love the silly old SIQ... one app chokes the SIQ and you can do absolutely nothing, except hard reboot :)

Fun times indeed. I had a couple of SIQ incidents as well. All but forgotten, but recalled to memory now :) Sometimes a CTRL-ALT-DEL would work, sometimes not.

And who remember the CTRL-ALT-NUMLOCK-NUMLOCK sequence?

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Interesting times

On the other hand, my experience with OS/2 on a 33MHz 386SX with 4Mb RAM was excellent. First 2.1 then Warp, then Merlin... haven't had any crashes or funny things. Just wished the dang PC would go faster.

DooM played better than under DOS and some games just loved the extra memory I was able to give to them with the DOS settings under OS/2...

Good days, good memories.

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Head of US military kit-testing slams F-35, says it's scarcely fit to fly

Anonymous South African Coward
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Superiority - Arthur C. Clarke.

That's what the F35 fiasco reminds me of.

http://www.mayofamily.com/RLM/txt_Clarke_Superiority.html

To quote but a snippet :

"The ultimate cause of our failure was a simple one: despite all statements to the contrary, it was not due to lack of bravery on the part of our men, or to any fault of the Fleet's. We were defeated by one thing only - by the inferior science of our enemies. I repeat - by the inferior science of our enemies."

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Reg now behind invisible HTML5 Bitcoin paywall

Anonymous South African Coward
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Thumb Up

Qualitay!

Applause from my side!

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PC survived lightning strike thanks to a good kicking

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Ghost Keyboard

Is a Bluetooth keyboard/mouse more secure than those mentioned from HP?

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Interfering mice

And that is one thing I hate about the newer wireless mice and keyboards - if you lose the wireless usb dongle, you toss said mouse and keyboard as you will not be able to sync them to another usb dongle again.

Rather get a bluetooth mouse and keyboard. You can use these on Android devices as well.

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Forget robot overlords, humankind will get finished off by IoT

Anonymous South African Coward
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Any good BOFH will fiddle with a delivery bot, make it take a wee detour and exchange its valuable contents (ice cold beer and pizza) with some steaming turds, before sending it on its merry way to the Boss's house.

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Stop us if you've heard this one before: IBM sheds more workers – this time, tech sales

Anonymous South African Coward
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And a few months later they will hire back some of their laid off workers as consultants, because their new workforce does not have the experience required.

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One in five mobile phones shipped abroad are phoney – report

Anonymous South African Coward
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How to protect yourself from fake goods when you're not sure the shops are even kosher?

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Oh no!

Gru's Minions and Discworld Ook will be very interested in this information...

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Racist Tesla staff drilled my buttocks, claims employee in lawsuit

Anonymous South African Coward
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Then there is the third side - the truth.

Will also wait for the court case to be settled before making like any good commentard...

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'Trash-80' escapes the dustbin of history with new TRS-80 emulator

Anonymous South African Coward
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Ahhh, the good old days...

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Dishwasher has directory traversal bug

Anonymous South African Coward
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I'll rather get one from the Discworld, complete with nanny-demons to keep the cutlery and all that sparkling clean.

It just need a blue steak, some raw eggs, a brick of salt and a block of cheese once in a blue moon. (Hey, the nanny-demons gotta eat as well).

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Only South Africans will understand this :

Only Miele is Pi*l* for hack0rz

So doff... they should have hired a white hat to fiddle with its wobbly bits before unleashing it...

...and it serves them right.

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Bloke whose drone was blasted out of sky by angry dad loses another court battle for compo

Anonymous South African Coward
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So the drone operator was buzzing the same premise for a second time? What for?

IMHO the operator of the Glock piece was within his rights.

You keep your drone over your property, and that is where it belongs, you don't go snooping around other people's properties...

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'Windows 10 destroyed our data!' Microsoft hauled into US court

Anonymous South African Coward
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One project manager allowed his pc to upgrade itself to win10. He will be rolling back to win8.1 by formatting and reinstall as 10 seems to have a pox.

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'Clearance sale' shows Apple's iPad is over. It's done

Anonymous South African Coward
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iSheeple gonna mnaaarh

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That 'Trump lawyers threaten teen over kitten website' yarn is Fakey Fakey McFake Fakeface

Anonymous South African Coward
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redirect everything to kittenwar.net

win/win

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Strike that: 17,000 AT&T workers down tools in California, Nevada

Anonymous South African Coward
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Seems that in this day and age every company+dog is intent on milking its employees for all they can, whilst making the fatcats fatter.

Been there, got the short end of the stick, didn't liked it, resigned and went back to my old job (with better prospects).

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A router with a fear of heights? Yup. It's a thing

Anonymous South African Coward
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Bigger cooling fans then?

Or liquid cooling (oil/water/cat pee/coffee) as a solution?

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Linux, not Microsoft, the real winner of Windows Server on ARM

Anonymous South African Coward
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Should just kick out all legacy baggage and go into the brave New World.

If any old baggage or legacy stuff need to be run on ARM chips, use virtualization.

Like XP mode back in the day.

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Barrister fined after idiot husband slings unencrypted client data onto the internet

Anonymous South African Coward
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"oops"

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User lubed PC with butter, because pressing a button didn't work

Anonymous South African Coward
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Stef trying to have his way with a stick of butter? (who can catch the reference?)

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Agreed. For some things Excel is better than Word.

It all depends on what kind of document you want to create.

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Brit ISP TalkTalk blocks control tool TeamViewer

Anonymous South African Coward
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If this trend ocntinue, we'll all have to use pcAnywhere for DOS in the end...

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Huawei's just changed the way you'll use Android

Anonymous South African Coward
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"More than 30 years after Microsoft introduced Windows, it still supports Alt-F4 to close a window, just as IBM said it must in 1987. "

Great fun could be had during the IRC boom when you drop something like "To see a naked photo of <insert celebrity here> press ALT+F4

Suffice to say you got cussed out after the victim rejoined the channel :) Great fun.

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Prisoners' 'innovative' anti-IMSI catcher defence was ... er, tinfoil

Anonymous South African Coward
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...or build some kind of EMP gun that will fry any unauthorized electronickery (read : smuggled-in phones)?

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Health firm gets £200k slap after IVF patients' records leak online

Anonymous South African Coward
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200k seems a bit on the paltry side.

Here's what should work - have the execs pay said fine. They either will ensure that it will never happen again, or they'll resign and others will come in and fix the mess.

Not sure of that though.

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AWS's S3 outage was so bad Amazon couldn't get into its own dashboard to warn the world

Anonymous South African Coward
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The Cloud...

...somebody else's purdy compootah...

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HPE CEO Whitman says everything's 'on the right track' as sales are literally decimated

Anonymous South African Coward
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Ahhhhh

Probably the new way of running businesses these days.

Last year we decided on intel (servers) and thecus (NAS) - glad we did not go the HP route as things are not looking good.

And also...

What is a cheap country? One where the cost of living is low? Or standard of living is low? :)

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I was authorized to trash my employer's network, sysadmin tells court

Anonymous South African Coward
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I don't commend his actions.

He should have taken the clean way out and left without touching anything.

As it is now, which company will take him on as employee/contractor seeing the way he treated his last employer? (burning bridges)...

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In colossal shock, Uber alleged to be wretched hive of sexism, craven managerial ass-covering

Anonymous South African Coward
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Toxic work environments FTMFL

Was in one, skedaddled very quickly out of it, don't need that kind of negativity.

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Nokia's 3310 revival – what's NEXT? Vote now

Anonymous South African Coward
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Would love to have an energy efficient and light to carry psion 5 equivalent above a heavy laptop whose operating system (windoze) just churns and forces you to wait for windowsupdates to be applied before you can start to work....

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Huge if true: iPhone 8 will feature 3D selfies, rodent defibrillator

Anonymous South African Coward
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Happy

Excellent article if clickbait.

Keep it up, Apple will most probably add undocumented system calls to block any The Register websites :)

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Smash up your kid's Bluetooth-connected Cayla 'surveillance' doll, Germany urges parents

Anonymous South African Coward
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Emily wants to play...

Google it.

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