* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

1893 posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

Granddaddy of the DIY repair generation John Haynes has loosened his last nut

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

1969's Landy (LWB) + haynes manual = great fun.

Landies was designed to be repaired in situ no matter where you were, something that helped a lot.

Ever used VFEmail? No? Well, chances are you never will now: Hackers wipe servers, backups in 'catastrophic' attack

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Backups?

How do you backup 100's of terabytes and live VM's?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

It's dead, Jim!

Jokes aside, one wonder why a ne'er-do-well will thoroughly thrash a business to the point of no return...

RIP Dr Peuto, Zilog and Sun's bright SPARC

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Thumb Up

Obligatory SymbOS link

Take a look.

Hold horror stories: Chief, we've got a f*cking idiot on line 1. Oh, you heard all that

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Re: I'm not compatible with phones

His response was "I'm not in". I flicked the switch back to the incoming caller and said "He says he's not in."

Beautiful.

And this is why you can't put any person on a switchboard... not everybody's capable of doing that job.

Unless your name's Simon, of course, then you'll have a grand time!

Windows Defender update: So secure, it wouldn't let Secure-Boot Windows PCs, er, boot

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Buggrit millenium hand and shrimp.

Bug-hunter faces jail for vulnerability reports, DuckDuckPwn (almost), family spied on via Nest gizmo, and more

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Nest IoT claptrap

Obligatory Commitstrip

Tedious Service Bulletin: No prizes for guessing which UK bank's services are DOWN for business users

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Totally Suitable Banking eh?

Well I never. Just when you thought they're out of the woods, they're back in the news with another meltdown.

Maybe the time has come to put it out of its misery?

Techies tinker with toilet-topper to turn it into ticker-tracker

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

What a crock of fertilizer.

Using WhatsApp for your business comms? It's either that or reinstall Lotus Notes

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Reinstall Bloated Goats?

The world will end!!!

Ca-caw-caw: Pigeon poops on tot's face as tempers fray at siege of Lincoln flats

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

CMOT Dibbler's new addition - pigeon onna stick.

Techie finds himself telling caller there is no safe depth of water for operating computers

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

We have two offices plus server room in the basement. The one office have a toilet.

You can see where it's going.

Yep. The toilet's water inlet to the cistern sprung a leak and flooded the entire basement. Luckily the building was built on a hillside, so each office have a large sliding door to the west where the water could exit.

Because we had a flooded server room a year ago, recovery this time was quicker. All servers + UPS'es was shut down safely, which allowed the cleanup detail to mop up excess water without risk of electrocution, and when everything was clean and dry, the UPS'es and servers was started up again. All in all loss of an hour's productivity due to offline servers.

Kwik-Fit hit by MOT fail, that's Malware On Target

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

KwikFail?

Terribly Sorry Bank reports 165% drop in profits to a pre-tax loss of £105.4m

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Wonder if TSB will be able to weather this storm they've created for themselves.

'Numpty new boy' lets the boss take fall for mailbox obliteration

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Devil

A true BOFH never, ever, spills his, ahem, secrets. Or evil deeds.

Data hackers are like toilet ninjas. This is not a clean crime, you know

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Glad my coworkers leave the toilets and kitchen clean after use.

Same goes for me. If I want it clean, I leave it clean. Simple as that.

Users fail to squeak through basic computer skills test. Well, it was the '90s

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

"He powered up the PC, but as soon as Windows loaded he immediately picked the mouse up off his desk and waved it around in the air."

When Michael asked him what he was doing, the user replied that he was trying to "make the mouse move".

After being told the mouse had to stay on the desk, the user was apparently unaffected by the embarrassment that might take hold of someone in this situation, telling Michael that his training was at fault.

True manager material (the user, not Michael). Wonder if said user got a good >KZERRRRT< along the way?

Hadoop coop thrown for loop by malware snoop n' scoop troop? Oh poop

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Also won't hurt to change your database admin account to something else with a good, strong password (whenever possible).

Intel's Atom C2000 chips are bricking products – and it's not just Cisco hit

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Anybody being bitten by this bug?

Got a colleague Down Under who've got a couple of bricked Atoms, and they're not happy....

Court orders moribund ZX Spectrum reboot firm's directors to stump up £38k legal costs bill

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

PRINT USR 0

Q. China just landed on its far side, the US woz there 50 years ago – now Europe wants to mine it? A. It's the Moon

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

En garde! 'Cyber-war has begun' – and France will hack first, its defence sec declares

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Trollface

Good way to start an ever-escalating cyber war - haxx0r some d00fus' PC in China/USA/wherever, and launch a nice cyberattack at the French from that server... withdraw promptly (erasing all evidence of your haxx0ring) and watch the ever-escalating war unfold until the WWW is in ruins and devastation.

Hopefully this scenario will not happen - but the probability is high - that somebody will launch an attack by proxy and let somebody else do the fighting.

US midterms barely over when Russians came knocking on our servers (again), Democrats claim

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

fail2ban anybody?

Ooh, my machine is SO much faster than yours... Oh, wait, that might be a bit of a problem...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Should've gone with ARCnet instead...

IBM HR made me lie to US govt, says axed VP in age-discrim legal row: I was ordered to cover up layoffs of older workers

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

IBM having an Internal Bowel Movement* yet?

*see Schlock Mercenary

Are you sure your disc drive has stopped rotating, or are you just ignoring the messages?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Favorite prompts

Unexpected condition. Do you feel lucky. Y/N

Message on screen :

Unexpected condition. Do you feel lucky, punk? Make my day.

Y/N

followed by

>KZERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT< on any keypress (yes, even ^C)

I used to be a dull John Doe. Thanks to Huawei, I'm now James Bond!

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Devil

While we're on the topic of cellphones, WTF is it with Faceboob insisting on preinstalling their slurpware on our pristine and virgin handsets?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Coat

Agreed wrt Sagsmug.

Weaned my wife off Sagsmug with a Wa-hey device, she likes it a lot.

My next device will NOT be a Sagsmug device.

And as for being an ersatz Bond, the feeling's good.

Excuse me, I need to go and take some photos of various military installations (aka shebeens and shantytowns) to aid the Red Army in their victorious conquest of Africa.

Twitter. Android. Private tweets. Pick two... Account bug unlocked padlocked accounts

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

I played with Twatter when it was released. (Dabbsy, can you beat this?)

Still got my Twatter account, just use it to check occasionally what is newsworthy as some toll roads have a twatter channel tweeting when accidents etc occur.

Other than that I don't use it.

Oh snap: AWS has only gone and brought out its own Backup

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

How long before we hear of somebody whose unencrypted and unsecured backup data got snaffled?

RIP 2019-2019: The first plant to grow on the Moon? Yeah, it's dead already, Chinese admit

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

How did it survive the long trek from Earth to the Moon without germinating?

Happy Thursday! 770 MEEELLLION email addresses and passwords found in yuge data breach

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Meh

my gmail addy haz been pwned :(

sad panda

Microsoft sends a raft of Windows 10 patches out into the Windows Update ocean

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Anybody havening fun and cursing games with the latest update for Win7?

China's really cotton'd on to this whole Moon exploration thing: First seed sprouts in lunar lander biosphere

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Revenge of The Fly.

Be afraid.

Be. Very. Afraid.

Excuse me, sir. You can't store your things there. Those 7 gigabytes are reserved for Windows 10

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Question - can a ne'er-do-well instruct Ickdoze to "increase" this 7Gb to something big enough to take all free space on the disk it currently is installed on, and lock it at that size so it cannot be deflated?

Going to be a laugh if it is the case.

Brit hacker hired by Liberian telco to nobble rival now behind bars

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

DDoS attacks = not cool.

Happy new year, readers. Yes, we have threaded comments, an image-lite mode, and more...

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Pint

El Reg is one of my favourites. They say it like it is.

Sometimes you get good humour in the articles as well, which is good for a chuckle or two.

Here's hoping Simon (BOFH) will be more active. And, of course, OnCall and Dabbsy as well.

Cheers (with Beers) from South Africa!

China's loose Chang'e: Probe lands on far side of the Moon in science first, says state media

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Next up - send some colonizers to the Moon...

Techie basks in praise for restoring workforce email (by stopping his scripting sh!tshow)

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Dead, see Parrot

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Parrot, see Dead

Your two-minute infosec roundup: Drone arrests, Alexa bot hack, Windows zero-day, and more

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Drone arrests

Good to hear.

Going to be interesting if more people's involved in this epic brainfart.

And why they did it, should be interesting as well.

"But your Honour, I just wanted to take a couple of videos of Gatwick with aeroplanes departing and landing...." yeah right.

Error pop-up? Don't worry, let's just get this migration done... BTW it's my day off tomorrow

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Our PA drives me crazy with IT requests for help, but I jump - as I can ask for a favour or two when I have such need. (No rumpypumpy but work-related favours).

Facebook Like, social sharing buttons on your website may land you in GDPR hot water if data goes a-wanderin'

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

This will be interesting going forward.

Of course you are liable for any data slurpage as soon as you put on a fb icon and link to fb. Same goes for google.

Only way to prevent that is not to link to anything google or facebook.

Mark Zuckerberg did everything in his power to avoid Facebook becoming the next MySpace – but forgot one crucial detail…

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

I've gone over to MeWe - they don't sell your data. And no intrusive advertisements or friend suggestions as well.

Their business model is selling storage space and emoticons. Seems to be working out quite well for them.

Facebook will be having a most interesting time soon.

Suunto settles scary scuba screwup for $50m: 'Faulty' dive computer hardware and software put explorers in peril

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

So had Suunto acted decisively and fixed the problem(s) with their purdy computerdevices promptly, they would not be in this predicament.

Any bets on how long Suunto will exists before shutting down and sinking down into an underwater cave?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Isn't that what the watches with the numbered bezels are for?

Upvoted because it is a good question.

Dev's telnet tinkering lands him on out-of-hour conference call with CEO, CTO, MD

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

logrotate

Had a Smoothwall that just fell over due to a full HDD.

Narrowed it down to excessive logs - and from there to logrotate.conf whose commands was commented out.

Found it was one of the mods that I installed that just "disabled" logrotate - edited the conf file by hand and fixed it. Was quite interesting. Had to do a manual logrotate first which took quite a while :)

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Re: Interrupts

Ahhh, good old assembly language. Very cryptic, but very powerful.

Time for a cracker joke: What's got one ball and buttons in the wrong place?

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge
Joke

The BOFH's on his way to your location with a fully charged lethal cattleprod.

Godmother of word processing Evelyn Berezin dies at 93

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

And, best of all, no silly-poot-dang macro or word viruses.

Windows 10 can carry on slurping even when you're sure you yelled STOP!

Anonymous South African Coward Silver badge

Slurp10 doing what it does the best... slurping

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