* Posts by Anonymous South African Coward

1706 posts • joined 6 Jan 2010

You're alone in a room with the Windows 10 out-of-the-box apps. What do you do?

Anonymous South African Coward
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Lob a Tsar Bomba at it.

Only way to get rid of that sort of abomination.

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Spent your week box-ticking? It can't be as bad as the folk at this firm

Anonymous South African Coward
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Friday. Tick!

Software blunder. Tick!

Clueless manglement making things worse. Tick!

Beancounters ruining things. Tick!

Underpaid staff working too hard on pointless shit. Tick!

Well known company that shall not be named. Tick!

Ticks all my boxes, and it didn't take me all week.

Totally Screwed Bank?

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Curiosity's computer silent on science, baffling boffins

Anonymous South African Coward
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Commitstrip need to update their "Meanwhile on Mars" series... maybe the Rover is catching a case of the sulks because nobody dropped by for its birthday? :)

See : http://www.commitstrip.com/en/2017/08/08/meanwhile-on-mars-12-birthday-party/

Or maybe they (JPL) can outsource the task of physically going to Mars and fixing the Rover to one of the many call centres in India :p

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Fallover Friday: NatWest, RBS and Ulster Bank go TITSUP*

Anonymous South African Coward
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Yay for outsourcing! Let's outsource some more!

And when all the IT techs have done a Brexit and left for greener pastures somewhere else, where will they get local IT support from?

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The Reg chats with Voyager Imaging Team member Dr Garry E Hunt

Anonymous South African Coward
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Fascinating read, thank you very much.

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Ubuntu flings 14.04 LTS users a security lifeline, chats some more about Hyper-V

Anonymous South African Coward
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Kind old Microsoft helped out again with the metadata necessary to get Ubuntu into the Hyper-V gallery.

Microsoft? Kind?

Something's wrong here.

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Garbage collection – in SPAAACE: Net snaffles junk in first step to clean up Earth's orbiting litter

Anonymous South African Coward
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This is a job for Roger Wilco. Period.

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Microsoft: Like the Borg, we want to absorb all the world's biz computers

Anonymous South African Coward
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Nope nope nope nope.

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Revealed: The billionaire baron who’ll ride Elon’s thrusting erection to the Moon and back

Anonymous South African Coward
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Will it have a Paranoid Android?

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Check out this link! It's not like it'll crash your iPhone or anything (Hint: Of course it will)

Anonymous South African Coward
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T-t-t-t-triggered!!!

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Sysadmin misses out on paycheck after student test runs amok

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: sci-fi ships were the order of the day at my first job.

No one likes the test server Rimmer though...

Rimmer Dall (Scions of Shannara)?

Nah, I tend to stick to boring, functional names.

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A basement of broken kit, zero budget – now get the team running

Anonymous South African Coward
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Emnador noticed this heap of objects.

The map and keys are lost forever.

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: HMSO

I would've commended you for that... and told the rest of the staff to look at increasing their productivity.

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A boss pinching pennies may have cost his firm many, many pounds

Anonymous South African Coward
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Migrated over from 2k3 to 2k16 at last, with new hardware to boot.

2k16 and powershell is heaven in comparison to 2k3... you can do diddly squat!

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Google's 'other' phone platform turns up in post-apocalyptic mobe

Anonymous South African Coward
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I was pondering this. And realize I don't use my smartphone to its full potential.

Excel? Work on a laptop.

Word? Laptop.

Email? Mostly on laptop, but there are one or two (Schlock Mercenary etc) that I can peruse on the go, as well as reply to some emails when neccessary.

Games? Meh, not really into games. I do play flow free and word puzzle games.

Boos? Yes, reading a lot.

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Just code a whatsapp and telegram client for kaiOS. That's all I need.

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Post-silly season blues leave me bereft of autonomous robot limbs

Anonymous South African Coward
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Welcome back to forn parts, Dabbsy. We missed you and your delightful columns.

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Premera Blue Cross hacker victims claim insurer trashed server to hide data-slurp clues

Anonymous South African Coward
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Recently had a compromised computer on the network. It was replaced with a good, clean PC, and the offending PC now awaits the proper code to initiate its own self-destruction cycle which should wipe out all life on this planet.

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Huawei Mate 20 Lite: A business mobe aimed at millennials? Er, OK then

Anonymous South African Coward
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Have two Wawee devices - both MediaPads. T1-701u and its larger sibling.

Still going strong despite the 701u having a cracked screen. And no bloatware to boot.

Happy camper here.

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Microsoft sharpens its claws to cut Outlook UI excess, snip Ribbon

Anonymous South African Coward
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The best office was Office2003. Or LibreOffice/OpenOffice of today.

No meh ribbon or the such cruft. Only now am I starting to get used to that piffle of a ribbon.

Meh.

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Silence! Cybercrime's Pinky and the Brain have nicked $800k off banks

Anonymous South African Coward
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They're Pinky and the Brain,

Yes, Pinky and the Brain,

One is a genius, the other's insane.

To prove their mousey worth,

They'll overthrow the earth.

They're dinky.

They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain!

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Software dev-turned-councillor launches rubbish* chatbot

Anonymous South African Coward
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Wot? No more "Skippy McSkipface with a fresh captain's log on the seat in an open field/cul-de-sac/somebody's front yard" news then?

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Thunderstruck: Azure Back in Black(out) after High Voltage causes Flick of the Switch

Anonymous South African Coward
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The Day after Tomorrow...

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Joke

Wot? Don't they have Hyper-V replication or clustering in place for their customers' valuable VM's?

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Strewth! Aussie ISP gets eye-watering IPv4 bill, shifts to IPv6 addresses

Anonymous South African Coward
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IP address hoarding

Those who hoard and guard their IPv4 addresses jealously should do well to sell it off soonest, because once world+dog make the shift/jump/move/transition over to IPv6, then nobody'll want to buy IPv4...

Nevertheless, it will be interesting going forward.

Most IoT tat still runs on IPv4? Let's hope it stays so, the less IoT tat is on IPv6, the better :)

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Go Pester someone else: TSB ditches CEO over bank's IT meltdown

Anonymous South African Coward
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Elephant in the room...

...just how much will TSB have to pay IBM for consultancies? Have they accounted for that?

Or hope that IBM will write it off and everybody will be happy and live in La La land thereafter?

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TSB goes TITSUP: Total Inability To Surprise Users, Probably

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: The Apocalypse Gathers Steam

Nowadays world+programmer is expected to use "programming libraries" to glom something resembling a working program together without having any idea what happens in the back end.

What the hey.... as long as it works and delivers correct input/output then all must be well even though said glommed program runs at glacial speed and need a whopping terabyte of RAM....

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Anonymous South African Coward
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*applause*

For finding more wossnames for TSB... I've quite exhausted mine!

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Trainer regrets giving straight answer to staffer's odd question

Anonymous South African Coward
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Coke in a printer? Will that not leave a sticky mess and give some Clue?

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Fast food, slow user – techie tears hair out over crashed drive-thru till

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Havening fun yet?

I'm havening fun on the Georgening forum, it be a noice place to be.

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Trollface

Re: Do you want fries with that?

What do you expect from the staff at McDonalds?

What is a compoota?

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Experimental 'insult bot' gets out of hand during unsupervised weekend

Anonymous South African Coward
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Trollface

replace 'b' with 'w' in 'bank holiday'...

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Windows 10 July update. Surface Pro 4. Working fondleslab. Pick two

Anonymous South African Coward
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At work I use a win10 craptop for work, m$ software included.

A major ballache for us IT admins is that you cannot install office2013 (office, project, visio) on win10 without busting your balls.

Install Office2016, it's much worse - you cannot install any Office2013 stuff at all...

Luckily I have a Mint desktop, it's a pleasure and joy to configure and use in comparison to Ickdoze10.

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Chap asks Facebook for data on his web activity, Facebook says no, now watchdog's on the case

Anonymous South African Coward
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This is going to be very interesting going forward.

Now if only you can find out how to block that faceboob pixel from "phoning home"...

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Anonymous South African Coward
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Luuuuverly fresh and hot popcorn orders being delivered via non-trackable drones.

Our unique technology will pop the popcorn prior to delivery, so you'll get it instantly fresh and hot without having to faff around with cold or stale popcorn!

Also offered are a range of assorted sprinkle flavours!

Place your order NOW to avoid disappointment!

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It liiives! Sorta. Gentle azure glow of Windows XP clocked in Tesco's self-checkouts, no less

Anonymous South African Coward
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Uhm, but the versions of POSReady2009 I've played around with does not have CHKDSK installed... so what gives here?

It's a real PITA, especially when it reboots and the file system's dirty, and there's no CHKDSK installed.

Maybe I'm missing something here somewhere...

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Microsoft takes another whack at killing off Windows Phone 8.x

Anonymous South African Coward
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Eish, going from bad to worse... WinPhones was announced with as much fanfare as possible, then distributed for next to nothing.

TBH Android is getting a bit too long in the tooth by now - if only they can develop and distribute a Google-free (sans any Google apps) Android version for most of the 'droids out there.... or something different like FreeBSD...

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Connected car data handover headache: There's no quick fix... and it's NOT just Land Rovers

Anonymous South African Coward
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"When I buy a car, I want to be able to make sure MYSELF it is no longer accessible to previous owners, not rely on their goodwill or attention to detail," IT worker Mike Walters‏ told El Reg, summarising the feelings of many drivers we've spoken to about the issue.

This. Well said.

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London's Gatwick Airport flies back to the future as screens fail

Anonymous South African Coward
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Oh dear.

So which one's the more resilient?

The oldstyle split-flap display (which cannot display advertisements or lewd pictures *ahem*), or the newfangled one with wide-screen monitors (which ne'er-do-wells can have fun with by displaying pr0nz and other unsavoury stuff, not to mention boring advertisements)?

Not to mention displaying bluescreen errors for world+dog to see and comment on (preferably on El Reg).

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Techie's test lab lands him in hot water with top tech news site

Anonymous South African Coward
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Has el Reg bought a 3rd server yet?

Nevemind that, has they upgraded the hardware, or are they still running on the original servers?

Pocketses got lots of nifty new nanoservers.

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The Death of the Gods: Not scared of tech yet? You haven't been paying attention

Anonymous South African Coward
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Götterdämmerung.

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SentinelOne makes YouTube delete Bsides vid 'cuz it didn't like the way bugs were reported

Anonymous South African Coward
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El Reg to SentinelOne : "Come at me bro..."

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Boss regrets pointing finger at chilled out techie who finished upgrade early

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Rug Pulled by pissed off third party..

Which makes me wonder - what if somebody outsources all IT services, then neglects to pay the outsourcer...

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India's Cosmos bank raided for $13m by hackers

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Shutting the wrong stable door

Makes one glad of not using that bank.

Unless you bank with TSB.

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Brit banks must disclose outages via API, decrees finance watchdog

Anonymous South African Coward
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Pre-Y2K and thereabouts one of Spencer F. Katt's columns sported an "This office is K2Y Kampliunt" cartoon.

Sadly, it cannot be found anymore.

And the BOFH himself also had a dig at compliant and complaint :)

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Google risks mega-fine in EU over location 'stalking'

Anonymous South African Coward
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Re: Confusopoly

Dilbert comic refers - it is so apt.

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Apple pulls iOS 12 beta 7 after less than 24 hrs

Anonymous South African Coward
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We contacted Apple for comment.

Don't hold your breath. Most probably El Reg is on a blacklist at anything Apple.

Mine's the one with the Matrix Nokias in the pocketses.

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Devon County Council techies: WE KNOW IT WASN'T YOU!

Anonymous South African Coward
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The BOFH was there!

All Hail the Mighty BOFH!

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ZX Spectrum Vega+ blows a FUSE: It runs open-source emulator

Anonymous South African Coward
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Oh yeah...

...does it have a micro-SD card wobble? To make it more authentic for ZX80/81 users...

...mine is the one with the working Speccy in the pockets.

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The last phablet? 6.4in Samsung Galaxy Note 9 leaves you $1k lighter, needs 'water cooling'

Anonymous South African Coward
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But does it have a notch?

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