* Posts by Uk_Gadget

127 posts • joined 31 Dec 2009

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We're afraid it might be terminal: Tesco top-up box looking less than tip-top

Uk_Gadget

I have one XP system left

I am on my last system running Windows XP, used to program firmware on 15 year old bespoke hardware...

Still got NT3.51 running in the basement controlling cranes...

Neither is networked though....

So you locked your backups away for years, huh? Allow me to introduce my colleagues, Brute, Force and Ignorance

Uk_Gadget

Re: Come again

Exactly, I usually asked the owner to get me a cup of tea before hammer time so the missed it

Uk_Gadget

Re: Seen in the wild

This is what we call the Newton test devised some 30 years ago and still in use today. It is amazinf how a 6 inch drop to the desk reseats components.

ERP disaster zone: The mostly costly failures of the past decade

Uk_Gadget

Never hear the good stories....

Our ERP is fantastic, works everytime, never errors and is global...

/s

No, actually, it is pretty good...

When the IT department speaks, users listen. Or face the consequences

Uk_Gadget

Re: Been on the receiving end of that

I had the same 40 years ago with my 'O' levels. Teachers had lost 12 months project wotk of mine relating to 40% of my History exam and man I loved History. Failed that and pretty much could not be bothered to return for the rest of the year. Could only do one thing and get a Job in IT...

Move along, nothing to see here: Auditors say £100k grant to Hacker House was 'appropriate'

Uk_Gadget

Re: The Government Internal Audit Agency (GIAA)

The auditors will audit the auditors audits, simples

We're late and we're unreliable but we won't invalidate your warranty: We're engineers!

Uk_Gadget

Re: Dabbsy Blather

But who?

Hey, I wrote this neat little program for you guys called the IMAC User Notification Tool

Uk_Gadget

Got to watch that AutoCorrect.

Uk_Gadget
Flame

Hardware Testing

Failed Under Constant Testing...

Quite wierd that our warehouse systems labels items owned by our clients as COK (Customer Owened Kit) and is visible on every box that goes out...

Right-click opens up terrifying vistas of reality and Windows 95 user's frightful position therein

Uk_Gadget

Taking the Trash

Used to get emptied every week, cart woke me up every Tuesday morning...

Summer vacations put an end to rampant desktop crimewave

Uk_Gadget

Re: Don't forget

As it happens, no...

Uk_Gadget

Re: Disposable income

Same. horrid stuff

Uk_Gadget

Don't forget

the most famous web site for missing pens:

penisland.com

Bill G on Microsoft's biggest blunder... Was it Bing, Internet Explorer, Vista, the antitrust row?

Uk_Gadget
Unhappy

Damn I Miss Windows Phone

My Windows Nokia was so much better than my Current Android Nokia, RIP Windows Phone

Must watch: GE's smart light bulb reset process is a masterpiece... of modern techno-insanity

Uk_Gadget
FAIL

Clappers

I once went to a Theater that had installed 'Clapper' light switches. Very entertaining and one of the original smart lighting..

Computacenter shares crash by a fifth as sales shrink... Nope, it's not Brexit

Uk_Gadget

No Problem

Got some nice contracts just starting and the forecast is good, nothing to see here..

BOFH: Honourable misconduct

Uk_Gadget

Re: I can't help but feel...

Yeah but these Fokkers were Messerschmitts

$14bn tax hit, Surface Pro screens keep dying – but it's not all good news at Microsoft

Uk_Gadget

Not married then?

Microsoft's 'Surface Phone' is the ghost of Courier laughing mockingly at fanbois

Uk_Gadget

Re: Microsoft FAIL

Am I the only Windows Phone User Left? Stunning camera, Stunning Display, nearly 3 years old and runs like a dream.

Apple bag-search class action sueball moves to Cali supreme court

Uk_Gadget

Re: When will this bosses realise it works both ways?

I work in Computacenter Hatfield, never had a problem with 'pissy behavior'. Been here twenty years now..

BOFH: Oh go on. Strap me to your Hell Desk, PFY

Uk_Gadget

Re: Benedict?

Yup

User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

Uk_Gadget

Re: Saying thank-you never hurt anyone

Pay rises are the best thank you. Wrote an access database for customer inventory coming in/out to us written in vb, no macros or queries. Took me 3 hours to complete. They made my company so aware of their satisfaction they gave me a £5,000 pay rise, that was 15 years ago so I got, and still getting, my monies worth on that short project...

Good news, everyone! Two pints a day keep heart problems at bay

Uk_Gadget

Perscription

Can't wait to get my 2 pints on a daily perscription

National Insurance tax U-turn: Philip Hammond nixes NIC uptick

Uk_Gadget

Re: There is another way to harmonise NI rates for employed / self-employed

£1500 for standard desktop PCs?

Currently doing a refresh for a major government office and they are re-using all their old stuff. Think this works out more expensive then the £1500 desktops...

Uk_Gadget

When I was self employed, NIC contributions was a fraction of what I now pay PAYE and I had the opportunity to voluntarily top my NIC contributions annually to be eligible for a state pension. A 2% hike is more than fair. Sigh, bring back politicians with testicles...

Disclaimer:

This was some years ago so if things have changed then we still need Pol's with Balz

Lloyds Bank outage: DDoS is prime suspect

Uk_Gadget

Saved me a fortune as the wife could not get into our account for two days

Fujitsu seeks PC exit, finds willing buyer in Lenovo

Uk_Gadget

Just setup an old fuji desktop, must be 8 years old, for one of the management team. good workhorse system.

Did you know iOS 10, macOS Sierra has a problem with crappy VPNs? You do now

Uk_Gadget

Re: Really?

And dont call me Shirley

Post-Brexit spending freeze in UK is real, says enterprise distie titan

Uk_Gadget

We run out of toilet paper last week, this would not have happened pre-brexit!

Brexit: UK gov would probably lay out tax plans in post-'leave' vote emergency budget

Uk_Gadget

Use the BellyButton method.

If you have an Innie, vote IN

If you have an Outie, vote out

Simples

El Reg probes pregnant Playmobil lass

Uk_Gadget

Re: Time for another ElReg Playmobile recreation?

Bit below the belt...

About time we had a BOFH cartoon strip with PlayMoBofh's...

Lenovo intros carbon-fibre ThinkPad Ultrabook

Uk_Gadget

Are the gonna l0ok Sexy like the IBM's did 15 years ago.

Hanging's too good for 'em - so what do you suggest?

Uk_Gadget

Re: It should be televised

^^ What he said.. Maybe a dedicated Sky 3d channel..

Uk_Gadget

Free the Title

I got space in my deep freeze one or two...

Boy George promises to cut employment rights

Uk_Gadget
Unhappy

Whats the alternative

Umm, there isn't one but ffs leave TUPE alone....

Nude gardener's arse hauled into court

Uk_Gadget

No Comments

If it starts to rain, will he have a water butt?

Google gives Eric Schmidt 124,999,900% salary increase

Uk_Gadget

Sitting on $6bn in shares.........

...... He's got piles...

This is just stupid money.. Where does it all come from?

Antarctic ice breakup makes ocean absorb more CO2

Uk_Gadget

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Told you so!

Fire-quenching electric forcefield backpack invented

Uk_Gadget
Boffin

Perhaps..............

......... They could combine the new tecnologies, have the water sprinklers as a backup.

Imagine the fine of getting both to go off at the same time..... Simon?

Surrey nudists tossed out into the cold after lease expires

Uk_Gadget

Probably...

...A damn good thing too..

Uk_Gadget

Hold On

Getting a bit touchy with the nudists comments SB

UK biz bled dry by cybercrime

Uk_Gadget

Nowt

Thought it strange that Office Cleaning Services were releasing this kind of material..

Anna Chapman to design Russian space uniforms

Uk_Gadget

Hmm..

Confirms this:

What do you call a good looking woman in Russia?

A Tourist!

Uk_Gadget

Ohmygod..

Yes.

Wooden spaceship descends into Moscow sandpit

Uk_Gadget
WTF?

Most of the population can survive this trip....

....as long as they have been married for more then 5 years, 20 months in virtual solitude would be like heaven. Where do I sign up?

Catalans to hunt wild boar with bows and arrows

Uk_Gadget
Pint

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits. NO!

Boaring... Cmon, tis friday after noon.... Be merry and break out the mead!

Texter who fell in fountain threatens to sue

Uk_Gadget

Berzunp

Um, the phone recording of the security video was not live. This was recorded via playback sometime after the incident. Security members had no immediate knowledge of this event happening.

Still funny as fuck tho..

Wind turbine bonanza expected in Hull

Uk_Gadget
Joke

Join the discussion

Stick a couple in parliament square, plenty of wind to capture from that block...

Burglars snort dead dad's ashes

Uk_Gadget

!!Google is you friend'!!

Turning into big business and has been available for decades pet cremation...

i.e:

http://www.dignitypetcrem.co.uk/?gclid=CKHipOzPyKYCFcoe4QodAVe9Gw

Computacenter joins cloud club

Uk_Gadget

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They are not so much a reseller anymore, more of a Total Provider of IT. They sold their distribution off years ago.

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