* Posts by Uk_Gadget

106 posts • joined 31 Dec 2009

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User filed fake trouble tickets to take helpful sysadmin to lunches

Uk_Gadget

Re: Saying thank-you never hurt anyone

Pay rises are the best thank you. Wrote an access database for customer inventory coming in/out to us written in vb, no macros or queries. Took me 3 hours to complete. They made my company so aware of their satisfaction they gave me a £5,000 pay rise, that was 15 years ago so I got, and still getting, my monies worth on that short project...

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Good news, everyone! Two pints a day keep heart problems at bay

Uk_Gadget

Perscription

Can't wait to get my 2 pints on a daily perscription

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National Insurance tax U-turn: Philip Hammond nixes NIC uptick

Uk_Gadget

Re: There is another way to harmonise NI rates for employed / self-employed

£1500 for standard desktop PCs?

Currently doing a refresh for a major government office and they are re-using all their old stuff. Think this works out more expensive then the £1500 desktops...

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Uk_Gadget

When I was self employed, NIC contributions was a fraction of what I now pay PAYE and I had the opportunity to voluntarily top my NIC contributions annually to be eligible for a state pension. A 2% hike is more than fair. Sigh, bring back politicians with testicles...

Disclaimer:

This was some years ago so if things have changed then we still need Pol's with Balz

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Lloyds Bank outage: DDoS is prime suspect

Uk_Gadget

Saved me a fortune as the wife could not get into our account for two days

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Fujitsu seeks PC exit, finds willing buyer in Lenovo

Uk_Gadget

Just setup an old fuji desktop, must be 8 years old, for one of the management team. good workhorse system.

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Did you know iOS 10, macOS Sierra has a problem with crappy VPNs? You do now

Uk_Gadget

Re: Really?

And dont call me Shirley

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Post-Brexit spending freeze in UK is real, says enterprise distie titan

Uk_Gadget

We run out of toilet paper last week, this would not have happened pre-brexit!

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Brexit: UK gov would probably lay out tax plans in post-'leave' vote emergency budget

Uk_Gadget

Use the BellyButton method.

If you have an Innie, vote IN

If you have an Outie, vote out

Simples

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El Reg probes pregnant Playmobil lass

Uk_Gadget

Re: Time for another ElReg Playmobile recreation?

Bit below the belt...

About time we had a BOFH cartoon strip with PlayMoBofh's...

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Lenovo intros carbon-fibre ThinkPad Ultrabook

Uk_Gadget

Are the gonna l0ok Sexy like the IBM's did 15 years ago.

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Hanging's too good for 'em - so what do you suggest?

Uk_Gadget

Re: It should be televised

^^ What he said.. Maybe a dedicated Sky 3d channel..

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Uk_Gadget

Free the Title

I got space in my deep freeze one or two...

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Boy George promises to cut employment rights

Uk_Gadget
Unhappy

Whats the alternative

Umm, there isn't one but ffs leave TUPE alone....

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Nude gardener's arse hauled into court

Uk_Gadget

No Comments

If it starts to rain, will he have a water butt?

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Google gives Eric Schmidt 124,999,900% salary increase

Uk_Gadget

Sitting on $6bn in shares.........

...... He's got piles...

This is just stupid money.. Where does it all come from?

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Antarctic ice breakup makes ocean absorb more CO2

Uk_Gadget

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Told you so!

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Fire-quenching electric forcefield backpack invented

Uk_Gadget
Boffin

Perhaps..............

......... They could combine the new tecnologies, have the water sprinklers as a backup.

Imagine the fine of getting both to go off at the same time..... Simon?

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Surrey nudists tossed out into the cold after lease expires

Uk_Gadget

Probably...

...A damn good thing too..

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Uk_Gadget

Hold On

Getting a bit touchy with the nudists comments SB

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UK biz bled dry by cybercrime

Uk_Gadget

Nowt

Thought it strange that Office Cleaning Services were releasing this kind of material..

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Anna Chapman to design Russian space uniforms

Uk_Gadget

Hmm..

Confirms this:

What do you call a good looking woman in Russia?

A Tourist!

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Uk_Gadget

Ohmygod..

Yes.

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Wooden spaceship descends into Moscow sandpit

Uk_Gadget
WTF?

Most of the population can survive this trip....

....as long as they have been married for more then 5 years, 20 months in virtual solitude would be like heaven. Where do I sign up?

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Catalans to hunt wild boar with bows and arrows

Uk_Gadget
Pint

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits. NO!

Boaring... Cmon, tis friday after noon.... Be merry and break out the mead!

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Texter who fell in fountain threatens to sue

Uk_Gadget

Berzunp

Um, the phone recording of the security video was not live. This was recorded via playback sometime after the incident. Security members had no immediate knowledge of this event happening.

Still funny as fuck tho..

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Wind turbine bonanza expected in Hull

Uk_Gadget
Joke

Join the discussion

Stick a couple in parliament square, plenty of wind to capture from that block...

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Burglars snort dead dad's ashes

Uk_Gadget

!!Google is you friend'!!

Turning into big business and has been available for decades pet cremation...

i.e:

http://www.dignitypetcrem.co.uk/?gclid=CKHipOzPyKYCFcoe4QodAVe9Gw

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Computacenter joins cloud club

Uk_Gadget

Not a member of Channel Register? Create a new account here.

They are not so much a reseller anymore, more of a Total Provider of IT. They sold their distribution off years ago.

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Sainsbury's techie jailed for loyalty card scam

Uk_Gadget

Sainsbury's is abandoning tape

Makiin Lise Taste Bitter!

Another Fail Criminal - Do not bite the hand that feeds you!

Why do crims get special treats like not starting your Jail Sentance till after xmas... Excuse me Mr Mugger, will you come back in January to assault/mug/kill me as it would be terribly disruptive for my Christmas Vacation?

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$1,000 reward offered for stolen cancer research laptop

Uk_Gadget

Ouch

We see this time and time again. I hope that this is returned for the benefit of all potential sufferes...

Make the reward $50,000 dollars and take it out of his paycheck!

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Sainsbury's is abandoning tape

Uk_Gadget

The title must contain letters and/or digits, and is required.

We moved onto a 'hybrid' solution two years ago, backup to disk then that goed to tape for offsite storage. Not quite on the same scale as Sainsburys but I have never looked back.....

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Hackers mock North Korea heir-apparent birthday boy

Uk_Gadget

Title, I don't want no stinky Title

Hmmm, I remember the days of 'No Mobile Phones...'

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EMC employee filched $1m worth of hardware

Uk_Gadget

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Reminds me of an old song...

'One piece at a time and it didnt cost me a dime'

I think EMC should be in court for allowing this to go on fot nearly 10 years....

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Microsoft wades into interwebulator chat about Hotmail

Uk_Gadget
Gates Halo

Where is my title?

I have been an avid hotmail user for what must be 15 years or more.... Every other account I ever had forwards to this one.... Keep it up M$.

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Massive online database of bird calls unveiled

Uk_Gadget
Paris Hilton

No Title to be seen

Well, it is cold outside!

Paris cos she's 'a bird aint she'

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Unreleased Lady Gaga songs nabbed in audacious hack

Uk_Gadget

No title here

Sh1t, I'm gonna grow a beard pronto...............

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Chicago officer beats off dildo-wielding bill-skipper

Uk_Gadget
Happy

In the real world,

this would be the before and AFTER descriptions....

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Hadron Collider switches to heavy ions, tinfoilers wet pants again

Uk_Gadget

Re So.....

Yes!

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Uk_Gadget

Eeek...

...Oh no, not again!

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Sexy Hustler honeys unlikely to corrupt Croydon yoof

Uk_Gadget
Thumb Up

Pictures........

...........or it didn't happen....

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The terabyte iPad is coming

Uk_Gadget
FAIL

Fail...

I've had more flash storage fail than HDD...

Must admit though, I do like raided flash storage, just not the current price...

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LOST Vulture One PARIS spaceplane FOUND!!!

Uk_Gadget
Thumb Up

Well Done...

Everybody here in Westminster applauds your triumphant acheivement.

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Jobs savages 7-inch tablet competition

Uk_Gadget

Nah,

I am really happy with my 10 inch one....

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Bruce Willis relaxes as asteroid skims Singapore

Uk_Gadget

Phew....

.....It really did miss...

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Uk_Gadget
Alien

Phew...........

........... it missed

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Computacenter wins bus contract

Uk_Gadget

Do the Math Part 2

Why do you work one dimensionally?

How uneconomical would it be to have a news agent that only can sell one type of newspaper to only one person per shop per day...

The same people that support those 5500 users also support thousands and thousands of other users throughout Europe and the Middle East, South Africa and parts of the USA. In the great scheme of things, £14mil is not an awful lot for a company like Copmputacenter but when it is multiplied serveral times then they make much $$

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Tony Curtis goes to grave with iPhone

Uk_Gadget
Dead Vulture

Sigh

A sad goodbye to another legend of the silver screen.

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Tinfoil 'radiation shield' maternity wear hits 'Frisco

Uk_Gadget
Happy

Taassseeeerrr.............

...........Nooooo prooooteeectiiiooonn... urg

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Beeb creates new global iPlayer post

Uk_Gadget

The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

BBC content outside the UK can be part funded by advertising. Think this is the main issue.

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