* Posts by Keef

510 posts • joined 16 Dec 2009


Seldom used 'i' mangled by baffling autocorrect bug in Apple's iOS 11


After near 2 years

Shouldn't that be 'After nearly 2 years'?

And 'heid'?

And 'mangled malapropisms'?

Aren't malapropisms already in a sense mangled grammar, so are you guilty of tautology when you write of mangled malapropisms?

I have no idea if I'm correct with any of the above because I was born and raised in Birmingham, England, and correct grammar ain't our forte, but I do like to question things.

Any grammar pedant want to rip Muscleguy's post apart, I think he/she's asking for it...

ICANN gives domain souks permission to tell it the answer to Whois privacy law debacle


Leadership is needed here.

As I understand it Benoît Battistelli will be available soon.

Maybe ICANN should offer him a position, he'll sort it out.

Giza geezers' muon-geyser visor reveals Great Pyramid's hidden void surpriser


'a particle usually found in cosmic rays'

Not according to Wikipedia and every other reference I've looked up so far.

More a by product of high energy radiation interacting with other stuff (sorry if I got a bit technical at the end there).


Slashing regulations literally more important than saving American lives to Donald Trump


Re: All vehicles within 4 years?

'so could still easily crash into the audi if when it did something stupid.'


Fine, OK, no backdoors, says Deputy AG. Just keep PLAINTEXT copies of everyone's messages



I can compress one paragraph in to one word.

"I simply maintain that companies should retain the capability to provide the government unencrypted copies of communications and data stored on devices, when a court orders them to do so."

= Fuckwit

Not sure I'll make much money out of that particular algorithm, but I'm sure it could be worth incorporating in to compression systems as it seems to crop up quite frequently.

FCC Commissioner blasts new TV standard as a 'household tax'




Amazon beams: We're best cloud buds with General Electric


And of course we all trust...


They'd never just make shit up and try to sell it for profit.

No Sir, never.

Why are El Reg so wedded to Gartner?

SCARY SPICE: Pumpkin air freshener sparks school evacuation


The Grand pumpkin takes its revenge...

Someone must have been making pumpkin bread or carving Halloween pumpkins.

FBI iPhone hack lost forever, White House mobe compromised, SSH – and plenty more


With the latest iPhone they just wait for the battery to 'crack' the phone for them then look inside.

ISIS and Jack Daniel's: One of these things is not like the other



'Come on, it's not even a proper circle in the middle, was it designed using Paint?'

Stop slagging off Paint, everyone knows we secretly love it.

Nobel Prize for boffins who figured out why you feel like crap after long-haul flights


I'm a shift worker and used to be a frequent long haul flyer...

And I can say that I manage the shift work quite well.

Difficult, but manageable.

Managing the 'free' G&Ts in the business lounge was much more difficult.

Man with 74 convictions refused permission to fling sueball at Google


Re: Responsibility for ones own actions

Fair enough RNtTKKWWMT, I see how it could be construed that he is blaming Google.

I think we can agree the guy isn't very nice, your description will do too.

Have a pint mate.


Classic Twatter post in there...

'My dinner.. battered Sauages, homemade battered onion rings, garlic cubes & peppered sauce :-)'

I'm off to sign up to twitter now, that post has convinced me I can no longer function as a part of the human race without being a member.

Some of my so called 'friends' have called me a member for some time now, I always wondered why when I wasn't on twitter.


Re: Responsibility for ones own actions

I'm not sure he's trying to blame anyone else, but he does seem to want to avoid responsibility for his own actions.

Tarmac for America's self-driving car future is being laid right now


Re: Insurance-Lobbyists:

'After all Facebook is now buying data from brokers including Experian, same does for Google, plus they're getting juicy credit card data soon'

Care to provide me with a link or two to substantiate your claims dear AC?

I'm not saying you're wrong, I'd just like some substance to back up your comment if you could provide it please.

Telco forgot to renew its web domain, broke deaf folks' video calls – now gets a $3m paddlin'


Here in the UK...

I've never had a failure to connect to an emergency number.

Getting an emergency service to attend, well that's a different story.

I'm not criticising the emergency services as such, just their ability to respond which is probably down to funding.

I have no affiliation to any emergency service or any organisation that funds them.

BlackBerry reveals slim profits as Dolby-isation of brand marches on


Atmos in a phone next?

Dolby Atmos.

The next big marketing push for stuffing Ray's coffin full of dollars ripping off the domestic market that will benefit almost nobody could surely be pushed in to a phone to rip off the gullible mobile market too.

Trump's tax tease will be a massive payday for Valley tech giants and their shareholders


Not sure why you think it 'May stuff most of Europe'.

It's not like that money is flowing freely through the European economy.

Europe might be stuffed, I don't think it is, but if it is it won't be because of this policy.


Dear AC, if you want to call someone out and not give up, how about doing under your own handle and accepting responsibility for your comments?

Just a thought.

'Alexa, play Charlie Bit My Finger.' I can't do that, Dave. No, really


Linking to an autoplay video, WTF El Reg.

Couldn't you be bothered to find a better source for your link about Amazon booting stuff off their site?

Twitter to upgrade from micro-blogging to milli-blogging with 280 chars


In answer your very valid question about his attention span lasting long enough to read 280 characters, I'd say no it doesn't.

The man is a buffoon, although I do like the 'dotard' description too.

But I'm struggling to see how adding another 140 characters can halve the time it takes to trigger nuclear Armageddon.

Surely (don't call me that) adding more characters will delay the pushing of the Big Red Button as the imbecile will almost certainly fry his brain by trying to comprehend such a lengthy string.

So. Should I upgrade to macOS High Sierra?


Re: HEVC isn't that tough

Maybe it's the encoding that needs the grunt not the decoding?

MPEG is asymmetric in that the encoding is many times more intensive than the decoding, perhaps HEVC shares this trait.

Microsoft: We've made a coding language for a quantum computer that may or may not exist


Re: And managing a team of developers in said language

The quantum cats are both herded and not herded until the superposition collapses.

I rest my case, or not.

Bing fling sting: Apple dumps Microsoft search engine for Google


So now the phrase is officially...

Bada Google Bada Boom.

Thank you, I'm here all week.

Super Cali goes ballistic, Gatorade app is bogus: Even the sound of it is something quite atrocious


Good decision.

Everyone knows you should drink Mountain Dew.

SEC 'fesses to security breach, says swiped info likely used for dodgy stock-market trading


Re: The KGB?

I realised my mistake after editing time was up, I knew I'd get corrected.

Just one of the things I love about this place.

Have a pint.

FSB then?


Re: Who watches the watchmen?

'Who's going to investigate the SEC?'

The KGB?

Not sure if the icon is appropriate or not.

Ah, good ol' Windows update cycles... Wait, before anything else, check your hardware


'Security out of the box is essentially what Windows 10 is all about'

I laughed out loud when I read that!

BoJo, don't misuse stats then blurt disclaimers when you get rumbled


"The problem with lying your way to the top is that sooner or later you encounter a situation were the lies make things worse"

Doesn't seem to be bothering Trump, not yet at least, but I live in hope.

AWS can now bill us if you read this far. This bit will cost us, too


Re: Err...

I've written before that I'd happily pay a subscription to El Reg for an ad free experience.

Of course I already have an ad free experience, but I'd pay £1 a month without breaking sweat.

Equifax UK admits: 400,000 Brits caught up in mega-breach


Re: Start complaining now....

Nice ideas, but...

'Time to start complaining. casework@ico.org.uk'

The ICO are worse than useless, I'm not saying people shouldn't follow your advice, just that they shouldn't expect a meaningful outcome as a result of doing so.

'Demand answers'

That comment did make me laugh, demand all you like, in the UK you won't get them.

'Talk to MP's ask why this is happening.'

Even funnier! You Sir should be on stage, you have a talent.

I'm not decrying your comments Chris (I upvoted you), just adding what I see as a dose of reality to them.

Google to kill Chrome autoplay madness


Re: ****ing BBC are the worst ....

The BBC also auto-play subsequent 'related' videos extending the agony.

It really pisses me off that there is no off switch available on the BBC website for this behaviour.

I use the BBC website less and less these days, auto-playing videos, more news stories only being available as videos without a text (or subtitle) option.

Defrosted starter for 10: Iceland home delivery site spills customer details


More company fluff and useless ICO.

They probably can't know everything that was accessed using legitimate credentials by illegitimate users, so saying only limited amount of data was affected might well be true, but that limit might be 100% of the data available by the method used.

What is the point of the ICO if they won't act, not much point having a regulator if they won't regulate.

I wonder if the GDPR will help with this kind of issue?

Uber loses bid to avoid trial in Waymo case


Re: Yes !

Me too!

Uber have consistently demonstrated themselves to be a scum company.

Bring on the punishment they deserve.

Giant frikkin' British laser turret to start zapping stuff next year


Re: Next step :

Thank you!

Have a beer and an upvote!


Re: Next step :

I seem to recall reading on here somewhere that the laser only needs to make a tiny imperfection in a reflective surface for it to next to useless as a defence against the laser. The tiny imperfection rapidly expanding or something.

Anyone with more knowledge than me care to refresh my memory please?


Re: Pah

What about an Ultimate Laser Fighting Contest with Gort?

I'd pay to watch that.

Facebook fined €1.2m by Spain for… you'll never guess what


Oh, they will appeal (as mentioned in the article BTW).

It might be pocket change now, but if they let the governments get a foot in the door on their dodgy practices then they stand to lose a lot.

Snap off the toes before the foot gets in the door is their motto.

Okay, I just made that motto up, fair cop Guv'.

London Tube tracking trial may make commuting less miserable


TFL do some things well.

They are one of the very few organisations I allow to send me emails on a regular basis.

They don't spam, I get one email a week with weekend disruption due to engineering works and the very occasional email for an extraordinary disruption.

The emails are informative and useful to me and they don't take the piss by spamming me with crap.

The website for bus arrivals could be a bit quicker IMHO but it does work well.

我的天啊! China gives Weibo users a week to use their real names


Theresa's getting her ideas from somewhere...

Now I know where one of the sources is.

Stand up who HASN'T been hit in the Equifax mega-hack – whoa, whoa, sit down everyone


'We pride ourselves on being a leader in managing and protecting data'

Really, you do do you.

I pride myself at being good at detecting bullshit, the needle moved a bit at that statement.

It should have moved off the scale and bent the needle, but I've recently re-calibrated it.

Top tip, hacker newbs: Don't use the same Skype ID for IoT bot herding and job ads


Parents maybe not doing their job?

I know it can be hard to keep tabs on kids, but if the parents were paying more attention it might be more obvious to the kid that the things he/she were doing are not okay.

Obviously I don't know the exact circumstances of this individual but I do see a trend to just let kids 'play' with computers without parental oversight.

At 13 I think it would be a bit harsh to come down on the kid with a ton of bricks, but I'd be happy for some reasonable weight to be dropped on the parents. Maybe 20 kg per parent as a starting point.

Pack up, go home to your family: Google Drive is flipping out


Re: Thousands

Well, the number of thousands isn't specified and the article is only quoting a single source.

As it's working for me the percentage might be as high as (2,000,000,000,000 - 1) / 2,000,000,000,000 x 100 which in my pedantic example is roughly 99.99999999995%

I'm bound to have made a mistake in the maths, I've been drinking this afternoon!



It's working okay for me!

Boffins prove oil and water CAN mix – if you do it in a gas giant


I managed this years ago...

My old Rover 214 had a K series engine which was extremely good at mixing oil and water.

Calm down, internet. Elon's Musk-see SpaceX spacesuit is a bit generic


Americans cant spell.

Color Colour me surprised.

Smart robots prove stupidly easy to hack for spying and murder



"Given the expensive nature of the hardware, you'd have thought the manufacturers might have put a bit more thought into basic security measures"

I would never have thought that.

Slurping people's info without a warrant? That's OUR JOB, Google, Facebook et al tell US Supreme Court


Just being hypercritical of your comment, I guess you meant hypocritical!


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