* Posts by Scott 53

154 posts • joined 16 Dec 2009

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WPA2 KRACK attack smacks Wi-Fi security: Fundamental crypto crapto

Scott 53

Says a lot about me

...but I'm having difficulty getting past "nonce reset".

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Software update turned my display and mouse upside-down, says user

Scott 53

Re: Every day's a school day

I remember an advert in PC Plus in the mid 80s for an IT training company which showed someone using an Amstrad PC1512 mouse the wrong way round. Funny how things stick in your mind.

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It's 2017... And Windows PCs can be pwned via DNS, webpages, Office docs, fonts – and some TPM keys are fscked too

Scott 53

Re: Future headlines

2XXX

FTFY

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Outage at EE wrecks voice calls across the UK

Scott 53

Re: Kevin Bacon @m0rt

And as the plane crashed down he thought

"Well, isn't this nice."

is the only quotable example in that song.

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Attention adults working in the real world: Do not upgrade to iOS 11 if you use Outlook, Exchange

Scott 53

Re: Works fine here

Fnarr? Are you channelling your inner Finbarr Saunders? I'm looking for the double entendre but you must have slipped it in while I wasn't looking.

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Hey, remember that monkey selfie copyright drama a few years ago? Get this – It's just hit the US appeals courts

Scott 53
Headmaster

Re: Devil's Advocate

"Best expansion of the acronym EVAR."

It would have been slightly better with a double g.

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It's the iPhone's 10th b'day or, as El Reg calls it, 'BILL RAY DAY'

Scott 53

Re: New Sales unit for Apple

I thought it was one DUP

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Blighty's first aircraft carrier in six years is set to take to the seas

Scott 53

But

What would Lewis have had to say?

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Smart burglars will ride the surf of inter-connected hackability

Scott 53

Back from the dead

Kenny Baker is in there, isn't he?

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AWS launches celebrity-spotting-as-a-service: What a time to be alive

Scott 53

Will it auto-cancel when the 'celebrity' dies?

I'm hoping so as my entry on the looky-likey board has always been Ian Brady

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Has AI gone too far? DeepTingle turns El Reg news into terrible erotica

Scott 53

Please no

Don't let it search El Reg - no telling what it will do with the phrases "Chocolate Factory" or "Purple Palace"

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UK vuln 'fessing pilot's great but who's going to give a FoI?

Scott 53
Headmaster

"flaws that ought to be swiftly and discretely resolved"

Surely if someone wants to resolve several flaws all at once they should be allowed to do so.

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Honor phone for paupers goes upmarket, assails flagships

Scott 53

Re: Worst.strapline.ever

"I give you the Austin Allegro "

I further give you the Mini Metro, where the steering wheel wasn't directly in front of you but offset a bit (I think to the left). As this was the first car I ever drove I didn't realise how odd this was for a while.

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User jams up PC. Literally. No, we don't know which flavour

Scott 53

Re: Good design my a***

I've still got a scar from a Compaq desktop in 1999. Went septic, that one.

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If fast radio bursts really are revving up interstellar sailcraft, here's the maths

Scott 53

2015?

Niven and Pournelle got there in 1974.

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Lawyer defending arson suspect flees court with pants on fire

Scott 53

"shandy drinking southerner"

The correct terminology is namby-pamby shandy-drinking Southern b*stard. With a hard a.

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Success in the bedroom breeds success in the boardroom – research

Scott 53

"daily grind"

I see what you did there. Fnarr.

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HSBC Business internet banking goes TITSUP*

Scott 53

Re: HSBC

Trying (and failing) to make sense of the apostrophe in "c***'*"

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IT guy checks to see if PC is virus-free, with virus-ridden USB stick

Scott 53

Re: I use to work as a tech in the education department

"have a quick squizz"

You might want to consult urbandictionary before giving that advice again

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Forget Tony Stark's Iron Man – exosuits of the future will be spandex

Scott 53

Iron man?

Definitely do-not-iron man if Spandex is involved

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MH370 hunters call for new search of extra 25,000km2

Scott 53

Re: Congratulations!

"And you Sir win the needlessly pedantic comment of the week award. I'm sure someone somewhere who knows you will be very proud."

No, they are just data. Data is a plural.

Do I get a prize?

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Stupid law of the week: South Carolina wants anti-porno chips in PCs that cost $20 to disable

Scott 53

Re: Anonymous

Johnr

It's "succeeded", which I think proves your point.

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Sysadmin 'fixed' PC by hiding it on a bookshelf for a few weeks

Scott 53
Headmaster

Re: IT Slight of Hand

Donald Trump is Slight of Hand, among other things. People like us employ sleight of hand.

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Information on smart meters? Yep. They're great. That works, right? – UK.gov

Scott 53
Thumb Down

Re: Umm....

"*They can even tell which channel you're watching, the varying consumption of your TV as it adjusts the screen backlighting creates a unique signature they can match against channels broadcasting at the time."

Er, no. The meter sends a read every 30 minutes, not in real time, so all the spooks can tell is that you used 0.5kW h in a 30 minute period.

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Loyalty card? Really? Why data-slurping store cards need a reboot

Scott 53
Coat

Am I the only one?

"Love Hoole Loyalty Card"

Oh, OK.

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Make Christmas Great Again: $149 24-karat gold* Trump tree ornament

Scott 53
Headmaster

Re: NOT Clan Lanister! "A Lanister Pays his Debts!"

"You posted that little gem as AC? Whats the matter with you?"

Cant spell Lannister, for one thing.

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Scott 53

As for the vulval baubles

All together now

"Oh fannybaum, oh fannybaum..."

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Pythons Idle and Cleese pen anti-selfie screed

Scott 53

Re: Shouting at clouds

WITH FRIKKIN' LASER AUTO FOCUS!!!!

FTFY

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Teen in the dock on terror apologist charge for naming Wi-Fi network 'Daesh 21'

Scott 53

Re: medieval murder bastards

I'd go with Mediæval Murder Bastards myself, for added mediævality.

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The law is an ass: Mooning banned at arse end of the world

Scott 53

Re: Browneye

" the Act quaintly bowderises the normal term "

As someone who married a Bowdler I can't let that one pass.

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Tesla to stop killing drivers: Software update beamed to leccy cars

Scott 53

Re: Add an Idiot Filter?

You missed out shaving

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2010/03/09/florida_crash/

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Forget Khan and Klingons, Star Trek's greatest trick was simply surviving

Scott 53
Headmaster

Re: proof read?

""...where others have gone boldly before...""

"No split infinitive! What's the world coming to?"

To what is the world coming?

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Sex is bad for older men, and even worse when it's good

Scott 53

Re: So, heart attack or prostrate cancer? (See related stories.)

Prostrate cancer? Is lying down bad for you now?

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Got to dash out for some rubber johnnies? Amazon has a button for that

Scott 53
Joke

Re: My Apple life

Wake up to U2? Make sure you turn the treble down as it takes The Edge off a bit.

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Go forth Spitzer! To infinity and....

Scott 53

Re: Eh?

I'd never noticed the Tips and corrections link, but as I don't have anything configured for mailto: links it's not much use to me.

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Scott 53

Eh?

"The bright young galaxy is about 13.4 million light years away, meaning the light we see now was emitted just 400 years after the Big Bang."

I, er, don't think so.

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Tesla touts battery that turns a Model S into 'third fastest ever' car

Scott 53

Re: Tesla's progress is amazing

Is your roof so important that it needs to be capitalised?

Well if he borrowed money to buy the solar panels that might be appropriate.

(Apologies: non-accountant attempting a finance joke)

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Beauty site lets anyone read customers' personal information

Scott 53

Jenny Drop Tables

Is that little Bobby's sister?

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London cops waste £2.1m on thought crime unit – and they want volunteer informers

Scott 53

Re: We still love you Ms Bee!

She responded directly to one of my posts once. That was a good day.

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Bees bring down US stealth fighter

Scott 53

The USAF Pokémon Corps were in town. You can all relax, it was just a Beedrill.

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Milk IN the teapot: Innovation or abomination?

Scott 53

Re: No no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!

There's a circle of hell set aside for those people who do a mixed tea and coffee round in the office, stir the coffee and then stir the tea without rinsing the spoon first. Looking at you, Paul.

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Scott 53

Unhappy memories

In my student days I lived in one of the less salubrious areas of Birmingham. Our Asian neighbours kindly invited us round for a cup of tea, but I was more than a little surprised when it came out of the pot not only already sweetened but with sterilised milk added. Not a happy experience, but definitely memorable.

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Church organist nabbed for playing glory hole in excelsis

Scott 53

Re: Ahem...

-100 for the IASIHGAC reference.

ISIHAC FTW

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Blighty's Coastguard goes into battle against waterborne Pokemon

Scott 53

Bah

In the words of Josh Widdicombe, I'm still coming to terms with the idea that I have now been too old for Pokémon twice.

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A bad day for DBAs: MIT boffins are replacing you with a mere spreadsheet

Scott 53

"took the covers off there Schema-Independent End-User Front-End "

If you can't manage English properly you are bound to struggle with SQL.

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Galaxy S7 Active can't swim, claims site. But it can, vendor retorts

Scott 53

Re: sum cat

Are you from Mars?

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Behold the ROBOT RECTUM... medics' relief

Scott 53

I could do that job

I'm convinced I could make a good fist of it.

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Pollster who called the EU referendum right: No late Leave swing after all

Scott 53

Re: you really shouldn't verb nouns

I'll keep nouning them then.

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EU referendum frenzy bazookas online voter registration. It's another #GovtDigiShambles

Scott 53

Dear Disgusted

They weren't disinterested, they were uninterested. I'm surprised someone with your moniker doesn't know that.

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Who's to blame for the NHS drug prices ripoff?

Scott 53

Re: Pricing

" a bit of wrangling in Excel and <cough>Access</cough>"

Do you feel dirty?

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