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* Posts by LinkOfHyrule

1657 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Dec 2009

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Another suicide at Apple's Chinese supplier

LinkOfHyrule
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Coat

Designed in California, made in hell!

The people who make iPhones will probably never be able to afford one in their wildest dreams. Yet they all must know from all the publicity that it's one of the most sort after products in the whole world. It's kind of pathetic on so many levels.

But hey, It's consumerism! Lets all go out and buy iPads and download apps that let us piss money up the wall on reading news you can get for free using the browser!

To keep things neutral I should really say that its not just just apple stuff this applies too - apparently the mouse I'm using (Microsoft basic optical mouse) might of been made with child labour a according to a recent report!

Mines the one made using child labour.

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Adobe clutches chance to bury Steve Jobs 'hog' insult

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

Pub car-park

Wow, tech industry leaders resorting to pub car-park fight level insults!

*Leave him Steve, he's not worth it!*

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Sky punts 'truly unlimited' 20Mb/s broadband

LinkOfHyrule
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Coffee/keyboard

ewwww

Thanks, I need a new keyboard now, this ones covered in my own vomit.

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LinkOfHyrule
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So is "Be" any good then?

I'm with plusnet but they've become s*** since they joined the evil BT empire, I need an ISP which can cope with heavy youtube, lolcat and porn usage*, would "Be" be a good choice?

By the way, was joking about the heavy lolcat usage.

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Vodafone launches snooping service

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

"The iPhone might not be the bankers' choice"

I always thought the exact opposite was true. I certainly see lots of 'Bankers' round town with 'em.

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Marmite sends in the lawyers against BNP

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

BNP = scum

Marmite sues (or applies for an injunction) against the BNP - who'd of thought that would of ever happened! Such a ridiculous joke like story befitting of the joke that is the BNP. And when I say "joke like" I mean the sort of vile nasty joke that Bernard Manning would make.

Hey BNP, here's a slogan for ya -

BNP - you either hate us or you f***ing hate us.

Tosspots

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Reverse-engineering artist busts face detection tech

LinkOfHyrule
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Coffee/keyboard

aagghh! Thanks for making me ruin my keyboard!

That is the funniest things i've read all week!

Someone quick do a graphic novel about New romantics taking over the earth and then make it into a Hollywood blockbuster - it will be like Watchmen but with more Roland Synthesizers.

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LinkOfHyrule
Joke

total enclosure latex body suits

Rather than everyone who is concerned about their privacy learning how to become a high class fashion grade make-up artist, how about we all just go about our daily business wearing full total enclosure latex body suits with full face masks to boot? Anyone else up for this or is this just me?

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Apple in shock public attack on Adobe

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

*Buys more popcorn*

You can't beat a good ol' tech bitch fight!

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'Gossips' say Apple will acquire ARM

LinkOfHyrule
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Paris Hilton

Dude....

Dude, that "No!" is so big, it's buggered up the page rendering in my Firefox!

Paris cos she's impressed with big 'uns but I'm not! lol

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LinkOfHyrule
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Thumb Up

I believe there are

I believe there are more ARM chips about than Windows installs if I am remembering my nerd trivia correct.

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LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

Apple II Pad

They could bring out an iPad based on the Apple II (or is that Apple ][ - i'm not a fanboi I don't know the scripture) I'd probably actually buy one of those!

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LinkOfHyrule
Alert

Blimey oh Riley!

ARM chips are used in like everything these days - phones, computers, games consoles god knows what else.

If these rumours are true, could it mean established devices from rivals to Apple currently using ARM chips could be shut down. I'm guessing it would be a very silly move as of course ARM's whole business is licensing out its chips designs to third parties (or so I am ignorantly led to believe) but then again Steve Job's dose seam a bit control freaky.

I'm worried! (urm LOL-ishly worried that is, not world war three worried!)

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Cameron promises yet more Avatar

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Misleading...!

I was expecting a story about how the Conservatives had created a virtual reality David Cameron and I was getting ready to say "May I be the first to welcome our new stupid faced untrustworthy virtual overlord!".

James Cameron may be promising more Avatar thingy, I'm promising not to watch it and to not give a monkeys as with the first one!

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Johnson: ID cards will pay for themselves

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Rebrand ID cards...

...As Northerner cards! (and maybe call the ones for the young Londoners 'I can't get served in pubs' cards)

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Newtonian Rock shop leaks iPad prices

LinkOfHyrule
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Too bloody much

17.5% unless they've bloody changed it again!

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LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Expensive

Expensive for a type of pad thingy that you plonk on your lap aint it! It better be really absorbent and not just exorbitant!

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Mystic Met closed Europe with computer model

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

LIEdar not Lidar

They should rename it if its basically a bit bollox.

Mines the one covered in volcanic ash

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Bond 23 suspended 'indefinitely'

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

James Blond

Do a low budget 007 film instead. Staring Jácób Blonde of the Swedish secrete service - fill it with loads of "action" of a more porny nature - sell loads of dvds and merchandise (which is only available to buy in this country from licensed premises) that should help clear some of the debt and refresh 007's image at the same time.

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'iPhone 4G' loser outed

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

FAILalism

Who gives a frig. Naming the bloke who lost it is low. Paying money for a phone which is probably legally classed as stolen goods is low and I am low for being hooked on reading these reports!

The iPhone is the to tech what Jade Goodey was to mainstream populist media. Actually, that's offensive to Jade saying that. She was much less common than the iPhone!

*I could of said Paris instead of Jade but I'm kicking it oldskool.

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'al-Qaeda suicide cat' sends US Iraq war robots out of control

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

I IZ IN UR NODES

I IZ IN UR NODES - FRYING YR AIRKRAFTZ!

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Microsoft stealth launches 'historic' programming language

LinkOfHyrule
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F#ail

LOL = FAIL;

Even though Microsoft are a a bunch of corporate evils, they do make me laugh when they try to do marketing. Should of called it G flat. Or maybe that's the name for some new google language?

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Police send Reg hack CRB check database

LinkOfHyrule
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Happy

Me to! It made me do a LOL

But they are right - I have no confidence in them!

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Herd of sheep, off tits on drugs, savagely Tased

LinkOfHyrule
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I've been to Snowdonia

I've been to Snowdonia but apparently their open air brothels are a bit too steep compared to the ones in London!

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LinkOfHyrule

Oh great

The sheep are now hooked on meth, so the sheep go on the game to get money to feed habit = worlds first brothel in a field.

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Apple opens SMS door for third parties

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Will there be...

Will there be a 'Richard and Judy' app that sends texts without your permission?

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New Reg comments system ready to launch

LinkOfHyrule
Happy

HAHAHA

Did some of you people really fall for this? :o)

Joking aside I would not pay a sub to post comments alone, if it came with a cool free gift like a el Reg branded Mug or personal attack alarm I would consider it!

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Radio lobby 'hides' 2m analogue receiver sales

LinkOfHyrule

"ghetto blasters"

Good to see you kicking it oldskool with that terminology Mr Orlowski!

Joking aside, internet radio, on demand play-list services and podcasts will probably take over "radio listening" in the traditional sense before they can turn off analogue anyway. These radio people need to get with the times! Also FM kicks DAB's low bitrate butt!

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BT hijacks business browsers

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

100 on the numptometer!

Have these BT smucks never heard of "in-Phorm-ed consent"?

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Nintendo confirms 3D handheld console coming

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

3D without glasses = teh win!

Paris, cos if you look at her too much you may well need glasses after-all!

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Botnet pierces Microsoft Live through audio captchas

LinkOfHyrule
Coffee/keyboard

Mamma mia!

"Mamma mia! your grandmother is doing so strange things here! Look at these delineations!"

That is hilarious! Especially if you sing it using the tune from the ABBA song Mamma Mia - just add the lyric "my my" between "here" and "look" as in the original song and it almost fits the tune perfectly!

I knew these spammers were really into 70's pop and disco music! It all adds up now!

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Brown creates one UK.gov website to rule them all

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

FAIL

Universal gov log-on - sounds like an ID card to me.

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El Reg insults 'millions of Irish Catholics'

LinkOfHyrule
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Exactly!

If you get offended by colours, please seek help.

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Muso turfed off train for 'suspicious' set list

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

Killer

I wrote a song a few years with the word 'killer' in it's title and I use South West Trains. OMFG! I better fear the reflective jackets! I'm obviously a dangerous individual! *rolls eyes*

They think someone holding a piece of paper with the word "killers" is suspicious, just 'cus some bloke "killed" his wife nearby? No offence but lots of people get killed every month in this country and newspapers often contain the word "killer" in headlines, in big bold type. DUUHWAAUHHH! Thickos!

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Flat-pack plug designer wins top award

LinkOfHyrule

That's one skanky socket

You wouldn't get me plugging owt into that! I take it, its in an artists studio or just a really filthy house?

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Manchester's on fire for ID cards, claims ID minister

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

I could use some nonsensical gibberish in my crypto keys.

"I could use some nonsensical gibberish in my crypto keys."

A use at last for all the 'noise' that comes out of politicians mouths - use it as actual random noise! If I ever want to brute force your crypto keys, I'll use the Government Press Release archive as the dictionary!

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LinkOfHyrule
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Stop

Bollards!

I don't have a passport. I didn't a few years ago either when I rented my first flat, set up four utility providers, got things delivered to the house, applied and got jobs, enrolled at colleges, set up a bank account..... etc etc.

I must be one of those "socially excluded" people who cannot take part in society due to having no ID that's acceptable.

Socially excluded people are I would think, more likely to be people who have been on long term benefits and have very poor credit. If you are in that situation, you will find banks unwilling to offer you a proper bank account and utility companies insisting on pre-payment metres. This leads to higher bills and can force many to use "dodgey" credit sources (dodgey dose not mean illegal either). Having a passport is not going to change a banks mind on whether to give you an account or not - it will just speed up the decision a little and save you the time of digging out that old birth certificate!

I'm calling spin and lies on this one!

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After Sony PSP phone, a 3G Nintendo DS?

LinkOfHyrule

Built in free 3G for the win

I think this Kindlesque built in 3G will be a win for them - firstly it should get rid of the piracy problem at least for a while, meaning all software can be authenticated on-line. Secondly, yeah an iPhone might be great and all but the more causal user and kids aint going to be signing up for a £40 per month O2 or Vodafone contract are they in order to have a data plan.

As for the iPod Touch not having monthly on going costs and cheaper games - well the lack of 3G will become a disadvantage soon and while the games might be cheaper - but I'd rather play Mario Kart, Professor Layton and Zelda on the train than a port of a 16 bit Sega game with crap controls or mess around with a fart app!

If I was more into puzzle games maybe an iPod Touch would be a goer. The Popcap games seem to be doing well. Without a d-pad and buttons though, it limits the types of games that can work well on the system. I haven't tried playing one. but how well do fighting games play on iPhones? I cant imagine any button masher would be a good experience and might even result in broken screens! (if you really do mash buttons like I do!)

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Twitter bomb hoax man changes plea

LinkOfHyrule
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The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

"1) It's his choice to plead not guilty, prolonging the case and wasting court time and money, to an incident which he previously admitted to."

So by pleading not guilty, you think he's deliberately wasting court time and money? It's possible he could be though it's more likely he was under pressure and did not have adequate legal advice at the time of his arrest. And now since then, has been advised to change his plea.

There's many reasons why he may of changed his plea, not all of them bogus. I think you should re-evaluate your idea that someone pleading not guilty means they only want to waste time.

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LinkOfHyrule
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You see, that's what happens when

You see, that's what happens when comentards have a sense of humour failure. I believe the OP was not basing his comments on fact but a common meme which is used by the mainstream media not just the Daily Fail and the Sunday Sport. Give the guy (or guyess) a break, I'm sure he was joking or being satirical.

So, other than humour AND common sense, your "comment" was spot on. Point well made. Not.

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Apple details iPad's 'breakthrough' mobile contract

LinkOfHyrule
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Coat

If Apple were actually innovative

If Apple were actually innovative then surely by now they would of come up with a design for a battery compartment cover that looks sleek and doesn't spoil the design and lines of the underside of their devices! Cant be that hard, plus I'm sure if they came up with something really cool they could patent the **** out of it like usual - they are defo missing a trick here!

Mines the one with a spare battery and miniature screwdriver sticking out the top pocket.

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Sony PlayStation Move: your questions answered

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

Late to the party

Plus, the logo looks like early 90's condom branding - both the name itself and the logo - a bit 'Mates Condm'-ish! Plus the controller looks like something you would slip a condom on to! I'm calling epic fail.

However, with that ball thingy, I would buy one if they brought out "The Prisoner the game".

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Body of James Brown disappears from family tomb

LinkOfHyrule

Bloody nora!

I agree, sod the IT angle! James Brown's body - stolen.... w...t....f....!

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'Health and safety killjoys' kill cheese-rolling race

LinkOfHyrule
Unhappy

Oh my

I'm very sad to hear this isn't happening. I love eccentric local traditions and I think they should be celebrated and even protected so as to preserve them for the future generations.

I'm going to chuck a Babybelle down my stairs later as a tribute. If I can get a more appropriate cheese I will use that instead/eat it, yum.

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Blighty surrenders to Street View

LinkOfHyrule
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Joke

People in Surrey

Some people in Surrey would get their oxygen delivered if Able & Cole or Acardo offered it!

I live in Surrey by the way before you 'Surrey fanbois' start dissing me! And I get stuff delivered. So there!

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LinkOfHyrule
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Yes, It's totally amazing!

I totally agree with you. I remember when I was kid, I kind of imagined something similar to what street view is, knowing that it would in theory be possible to do, but also 'knowing' it would never happen due to the cost and the "fact" that apart from sados like me who are interested in things like geography etc, there would be no demand for it. Plus I honestly did not think it would be possible to store such vast amounts of data, not that I knew anything about that sort of thing back then.

I'm totally stunned! It took global mage-corp google to do it, but hey its pretty amazing! I would sue them for nicking my idea accept my version of it I imagined as a kid sort of combined teleportation too. Give google another 15 years and i'm sure they will offer that service too!

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Google Nexus One

LinkOfHyrule
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The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.

Well by the looks of things, emulation happened a while ago and now Google/HTC have overtaken at least on specs and openness.

If you can multi-task that's great, can anyone tell me how many web-pages its possible to have open simultaneously, I am famed for firefox on the PC telling me when close it "you are about to close 80 tabs" so a phone that can at least cope with 2 open at once would be great!

t

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NY chef offers mam cheese canapes

LinkOfHyrule
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I remember that puding

I remember that pudding, I didn't eat it, I just remember hearing someone on the radio talking about it. In fact I used to listen to James Whale on the radio as a kid and breast milk and related 'food stuffs' were a common topic of discussion. I'm sure I even remember hearing about a chef in NY making his wives breast milk into cheese... what a coincidence!

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Northerners give up ID cards for Lent figures suggest

LinkOfHyrule
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Guvmuppets

"Guvmuppets" That's a keeper! I'm officially stealing that word for my own use! Gets my vote for word of the year! Love it!

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Daily Mail reader out-tw*ts the Tw*t-O-Tron

LinkOfHyrule
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urm

@ anon coward 15:23 GMT - Dude (or dudette) I don't buy all this "nice people" and nasty people stuff. Every person is capable of doing both evil and lovely things. Think you got the wrong site, Daily mail is that way.

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