* Posts by LinkOfHyrule

1657 publicly visible posts • joined 11 Dec 2009

US legalizes jailbroken iPhones

LinkOfHyrule
Black Helicopters

iClone Conspiracy!!!!!!!

Maybe he's a genetic mashup of the two! He looks like Steve Jobs but he plays pranks on people by shooting yellow lazers out of his eyeballs while riding a Segway (Like Woz dose, minus actually shooting the lazers out of his eyes of course!).

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Jailbroken iPhones...

Also known as Good iPhones :D

3D films fall flat

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

Well at least...

Well at least after spending an extra £5 for watching the film in 3D and spending £5 on a huge tub of popcorn, if you are sick, the huge popcorn tub makes for a handy sick bucket.

Mines the one with 3d glasses in the breast pocket, and popcorn and chunks of dried carrot down the front

NHS spunks £7.5k on porn room

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Sounds like a good investment and a great room!

I would of loved one just like it when I was a teenager! Oh hang on, I had one, It was called my bedroom!

TalkTalk turns StalkStalk to build malware blocker

LinkOfHyrule

Site owners

I can see site owners banning the StalkStalk IPs from their servers and maybe even having other fun messing with this system. It will probably do something dumb like those web crawler thingies* that can hog your web-server resources by downloading a zillion* pages per second or something silly!

*Can you tell I'm not an expert on these things!

Before the iPad, there was the Newton

LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

Very Interesting read!

Thanks, very interesting article! I love reading about the history of computing.

I like the pictures showing the lower tolerances in the plastic moulding. These days you only seem see stuff like that on cheap usb hubs brought from the poundshop!

Home Office mobe theft fight doubles in importance

LinkOfHyrule
Coffee/keyboard

and if current trends continue...

"and if current trends continue it could be worth twice that by the end of this article."

haha!

PARIS skins up with Rizlas and dope

LinkOfHyrule

Blue Peter

This reminds me of Blue Peter! All the tissue paper and PVA I mean, not the Rizlas and dope!

Apple ad-addled OS scheme resurfaces

LinkOfHyrule
Happy

I love how

I love how you Linux fanbois never miss a trick to get some "free" advertising! ;o)

I wonder what Steve is planning down in his white shiny underground bunker? Ad-ware isn't their style, ads popping up doesn't suit there clean user interface dose it. Hmmm!

It just works, accept when the adverts are on!

'Howling lesbian gangs' greet jailed Lindsay Lohan

LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

HAHA!

That programme rules! Best Australian TV show ever - that's not saying much about their telly really is it! Glad I'm not the only sad **** who watches it!

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

They should remake Prisoner Cell Block H...

They should remake Prisoner Cell Block H with Lohan and Paris. They could call it - Prisoner Cell Block Duh!!!!!!

Cross-dresser shags mutt at historic castle

LinkOfHyrule

The dog was no doubt...

The dog was no doubt microchiped - there's your IT angle those of you needing one!

I normally laugh at stories like these but the one with the cross-dresser in the moat with the dog is just too strange! You couldn't make it up!

Apple iPad – the 'Tickle Me Elmo' of 2010

LinkOfHyrule
Happy

Groan!

That made me groan but I up-voted it none the less!

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

I would buy an iPad if...

I would buy an iPad if Apple brought out a 'Tickle me Steve' app for it!

hehe, you give him a tickle on his belly using the touch screen and he says "hehe haha hoho please stop! It doesn't have reception problems honest! hehe haha hoho you're holding it wrong! hehe haha hoho Please stop! Mind the new liver, please stop hehehehehehahahahahahaha" and so on!

Google image search gets facelift

LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

wow thanks!

See, as well as getting into fights with people, you can actually learn stuff here in the comments section too!

Thank you anon person!

LinkOfHyrule
Unhappy

Not fair!

I just typed in a suitably 'rude' search term into image search and expected to see up-to 1000 'rude bits' on a single scrollable page but all I got was the old layout with only twenty rude bits!

I hope my 5000% rude bit increase happens soon!

*I suck at maths (the math) - I hope that 5000% the correct rude bit increase! If not I'm sure one of you will hit reply to this post and take the piss! (Or give me a basic math(s) lesson!)

eBay Earl beats rap for punting Parliament tours

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

"but he had apologised and promised not to do it again."

"but he had apologised and promised not to do it again."

Oh, well that's okay then. CLEARLY!

Mines the one with "connections" hanging out the back pocket.

Google discovers Chrome can (really) block ads

LinkOfHyrule

But...!

But people who actively block ads would never click them anyway, trust me! That's why they are blocked to begin with! So you're not loosing out (well maybe not if you get paid for the ads just being displayed and not actually clicked on)

My sister doesn't even know what Firefox is let alone know how to install something, she'll look at your ads I'm sure, as for me, I'm happy not to thanks. Maybe I *might* support certain sites in some other way as I sometimes do (and independent content creators) but advertising isn't the way for me.

There's nothing ethically wrong with blocking ads I don't think either. You choose to pump your site out to the world, what happens to it when it gets inside my computer is my business. You could always find some way to detect I'm blocking ads and bar me from accessing the site. The one site I've seen that being done on before I never visited again even with add blocking disabled!

Everyone won't block ads, don't worry, that will never happen. If Firefox came with adblock as standard there would be outrage and web-masters would throw up error messages on their sites telling users "This site can only be viewed with Internet Explorer Version 6.0 and higher!!!!" <--LOLZ

Extraterrestrials strafe Bosnian with meteorites

LinkOfHyrule

This is alien equivalent of...

This is alien equivalent of those chav kids who throw concrete breeze blocks off footbridges onto the motorway.

Reg reader tweaks Jobs with Judasphone.com

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

I'm currently...

I'm currently a Sony Ericsson and Symbian user - which makes me bitter to all of humanity!

Mines the one with two different faulty mobile phones in the pockets.

German webcam hack perv suspect cuffed

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

I like to play a game though...

I like to play a game whereby I win if the number of up-votes is higher than down-votes. I then get to go round all day saying to myself "I win at forums, I win at forums!"

Sad to really!

LinkOfHyrule

@whoever voted me down

a) I'm only joking and b) I always take the piss out of apple and MS, just redressing the balance - I love open source and wired looking penguins!

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Remember kids!

Remember kids! Always say no to penguins!

Steve Jobs morphs into Darth Vader

LinkOfHyrule

Taiwanese News FTW

Hahaha this is so funny - because it's true!

Steve Jobs death-grips iPhone 4 reality

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

ANYBODY

ANYBODY WHO DISAGREES WITH STEVE IS A HATER AND A CYBER BULLY AND A WINDOW$ USER!!!!!!

EOF (End of fanboi-ism)

hahaha!

Job sites slam domain name land grab

LinkOfHyrule

I've got it!

Now that the Tories are in power (sort of) again, how about: gisa.job

LinkOfHyrule

LMAO

I didn't bother to read than more the first sentences of this story for I started to piss myself laughing just KNOWING what the comments to this story would be - I'm immature like that!

Daily Mail promotes 'the new Betamax'

LinkOfHyrule

You're listening to FAIL FM!

...the station where the listener comes first!

Pirate Party storms out of uber-secret ACTA negotiations

LinkOfHyrule

hu???

Why would you want to skip over "curse words" or "nudity"? Those are the best bits surely?

iPhone customers lay into Apple after iOS 4.0.1 update fails to install

LinkOfHyrule

And...

Some fanbois even get sexually excited when iFixit do a teardown of a new Apple product - its the tech equivalent of Paris doing a nudy centrefold photo shoot in Playboy!

LinkOfHyrule

title goes here apparently

It's the gift that keeps on giving! Oh such lolz!

God-blocking web filter ironically hard to find

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Jobs 2:4:12

Thou shalt not grip firmly thy iPhone 4 or forever be commended to lost signal!

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

The Register will be ****ed then...

This site will be blocked as for some reason its full of the words "Jesus Phone" and "Judas Phone".

French website surrenders on Bastille Day

LinkOfHyrule
Coat

To all those moaning...

We are now connected to France via a undersea toilet pipe called the channel tunnel you know! You could work in France, live in England and commute!

Mines the one that stinks of garlic.

Apple spews Judas Phone signal bar 'fix' to world+dog

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

Title goes here

I get all my hard news, facts and information from The Register. I get all my laughs and jokes from the Financial Times and Wall Street Journal.

Long live el Rag!

LinkOfHyrule
Joke

I've given up watching the Soaps...

I watch Apple instead now - its twice as funny, twice as brain dead and has twice the lying/acting ability.

This antenna thing is just as gripping as who shot Phil Mitchell (Steve Jobs even looks like Phil's anorexic twin brother!)

LinkOfHyrule

Too True!

They really need to do more stories slagging off Linux, Android and MS so we can take the piss out of them too. I have loads of good MS jokes mostly relating to blue screens of death which don't even happen that often any-more but I hardly get a chance to use them! Such a great crying shame really!...

Treasury turns to Facebook for cut plans

LinkOfHyrule

*Then a fight between the two breaks out*

"Leave him, Dave, He's not worth it!"

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

Lets give people on benefits food parcels! yay!

Who the hell are these idiots posting so-called ideas on that site, anyway?

Do they really think some governtard official is actually a) going to pay attention and b) actually thinks their ideas about paying the unemployed with Lidl gift hampers instead of benefits is a good idea?

EPIC FAIL from all parties involved I'm afraid.

El Reg marks Steve Jobs for termination

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

FANBOI ALERT!!!!!!!!!

Haha, is the red cross over his face putting you off masturbating over his image?

Fanbois love sex toys: Official

LinkOfHyrule

Sex toys

Apple sex toy - it's shiny, made of glass, and just works.

Microsoft sex toy - very popular hence its likelihood to infect you.

Linux Open-Source sex toy - a carrot.

London hospital hosted grumble flick shoot

LinkOfHyrule
Thumb Up

Yeah whatever title

Maybe instead of being able to rate articles on a scale from crap to orgasmic, the Register should implement a binary ratings system whereby if you give a shit about the story in question you simply click on an icon of a turd?

I'm giving this story the turds up by the way!

LinkOfHyrule

No, No

An MP's husband caught watching the Playmobil reconstruction, Kleenex in hand, or it definitely didn't happen!

Revealed: Government blows thousands on iPhone apps

LinkOfHyrule
Jobs Horns

They might have...

These unemployed Jobs worshippers (great pun) might have brought their iPhones while in work and then subsequently been fired for being evil cult members.

Also did anyone else think fleetingly for a moment after reading the headline of this story but before actually reading the story itself that it was a piece about how civil servants had pissed our money up the wall on fart apps and Bejeweled?

'The internet's completely over', declares petulant Prince

LinkOfHyrule
FAIL

That twat formally known as...

HAHA!

Yeah these interwebz, they is so 1960's. Man, these inetwebtubez are like so old and stuff!

What a silly man. He should change is name to a symbol or something. I can think of a few appropriate ones. How about 8==

Why we love to hate Microsoft

LinkOfHyrule
Gates Horns

What would Microsoft need to do...

"What would Microsoft need to do and say to you for you to be happy to call yourself a fan?"

For every blue screen of death or weird Windows error, Microsoft buys me a pint!

"An exception has occurred at 000111 bla bla bla etc. What can I get you? :o)"

Microsoft goes AC/DC with Instaload battery tech

LinkOfHyrule
Happy

I've had that once

I had that happen once on a cable box remote - the answer - turn the living room lights on and some good old trial and error!

The nipple technique rarely lets me down I can tell you!

LinkOfHyrule
Paris Hilton

The Nipple technique

When I insert batteries in a dimly lit place I use the nipple technique - simply feel which end has the nipply thingy on it and then in the battery receptacle, feel which end has the springy thingy. No need for some crap Microsoft invention here, not with the nipple technique!

Apple's iPhone 4 denial: insulting or ignorant?

LinkOfHyrule
Jobs Horns

Try telling Steve that

"There's nothing Apple nor anyone else can do to get around physics, plain and simple. "

Try telling Steve that. I bet he's scheming away right now in a giant underground bunker on ways of making the laws of physics more Apple like! Gravity? There's an app for that!

Meryl Streep to tackle Margaret Thatcher

LinkOfHyrule

Thatcher Thatcher Milk Snatcher

Wasn't there a playground song just slighty before my time called "Thatcher Thatcher Milk Snatcher" or something? That would make a good song! Ha!