* Posts by Uncle Siggy

155 posts • joined 30 Nov 2009

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Milky Way DOOMED to high-speed smash with Andromeda galaxy

Uncle Siggy
Alien

We need to name this future galaxy

I propose a poll for naming the new merged galaxy. Aside from Andromeda Way and Milkymeda, what shall we name it? How about El Regulus or Alpha Vulturus?

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Al Gore pumps $12m into cheapo TLC flash upstart

Uncle Siggy
Trollface

Father of Invention?

Didn't Al Gore invent TLC?

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HP cuts 27,000 workers

Uncle Siggy
Trollface

Reductions or people?

"Workforce reductions are never easy because they affect people's lives," said Meg Whitman, HP's president and CEO, in a conference call with Wall Street analysts. "But in this case, they are absolutely necessary."

Come now Meg. Sales guys aren't people!

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Social media off to war with propaganda posts

Uncle Siggy
Trollface

attacks will be fought through dodgy posts to social networks

How can I tell the difference between a dodgy post on a social network from a normal one?

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Bitcoin bank Bitcoinica still titsup after cyberheist

Uncle Siggy
Windows

Can you spare a few bitcoins for a 69'er?

Mine were stolen when I was jumped at the Beuna Park Red Roof Inn (CA, USA), after I met a lady at the bar. We went to my room for some "entertainment". When I came to, she was gone and so were my bitcoins!

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Ted Nugent fined for failing to kill bear

Uncle Siggy

I fell safer already

I for one welcome our unhinged boomstick-toting conservative overlords.

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Google Drive stalls on LAUNCH DAY

Uncle Siggy
WTF?

GooBox? Dropple?

What's the difference between the two, and why do I care? I use Dropbox for convenience, and never store anything I wouldn't want to see in court. Why would I change?

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Battlefield Earth ruled worst film EVER

Uncle Siggy
Flame

Re: Am I the only person that quite enjoyed

Spielberg did worse to what should have been a Kubrik masterpiece: AI

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Death Star dinosaur aliens could rule galaxy

Uncle Siggy
Thumb Up

'dile Rockin'

I for one welcome our reptilian overlords.

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So, what IS the worst film ever made?

Uncle Siggy

Q

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084556/

I would have suffocated myself too.

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'The new iPad' revealed: Full specs, rumor scorecard

Uncle Siggy

Re: Quite yawntastic

Look for 16 bit polygons soon.

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STUNNING NEW APPLE DEVICES that will follow the iPad 3 HD!

Uncle Siggy
Trollface

Re: is there anything they can't do?

I feel you. I've been using a Bluetooth keyboard since day one. I suspect my typicing speed would tick up if Apple would release some human interface that let's me type faster.

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IT guy answers daughter's Facebook rant by shooting her laptop

Uncle Siggy
Coat

Let me be point blank with y'all

He'd have fewer problems if he'd just unloaded on his kid...

...emotionally that is.

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Indonesian train roof fare-dodgers given the brush off

Uncle Siggy
Pint

Mornington Crescent!

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SOPA is dead. Are you happy now?

Uncle Siggy
Megaphone

BECAUSE I CONSUME MEDIA ALL DAY LONG, I WANTED TO EXPRESS MY APPRECIATION FOR THE SHOUTY COMMENTS EXPRESSED PRIOR TO THIS ONE WHERE CAPS WERE USED EITHER IRONICALLY OR BECAUSE YOU LIKE TO SHOUT TOO!

SHOUTING REALLY HELPS ME GET YOUR POINT!

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Smart meter SSL screw-up exposes punters' TV habits

Uncle Siggy
Terminator

lights out

You could eschew the usage of electricity, fooling everyone into thinking you aren't home, effectively shutting off the meter.

Ever notice you never hear about "billing systems" malfunctioning?

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Reg review of 2011: Jobs, floaters and 90,000 tons of radioactive water

Uncle Siggy
Trollface

tl;dr

Any chance the exploits by Anonymous were mentioned?

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Wikipedia simplifies article editing for world+dog

Uncle Siggy
Thumb Down

credible doubtfulness

If you don't care about credibility in your sources, I doubt you'll have a problem with Wikipedia, WYSIWYG or not.

1
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Crypto boffins uncover rogue task risk on Amazon cloud

Uncle Siggy
Headmaster

An EC2 cloud would be an Elastic Cloud 2 Cloud.

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Faster-than-light back with surprising CERN discovery

Uncle Siggy
Trollface

El Reg commentards -- had again

"My colleague, Gyro Gearloose, has unearthed statistics"

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Microsoft cloud evaporated by one busted file

Uncle Siggy
Megaphone

Exterminate! EXTERMINATE!

"the software was unable to parse an incorrectly constructed line in the configuration file"

The above translates to "one of our engineers fat fingered it"

Ahh, the vagaries of human error.

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How gizmo maker's hack outflanked copyright trolls

Uncle Siggy
Big Brother

Your remarks are doubleplusgood, citizen!

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Blue Screen of Death gets makeover for Windows 8

Uncle Siggy
Megaphone

To the point mentioned earlier - the lack of error message means less exposure on search engines regarding specific problems therefore centralizing specific knowledge about Windows problems. This is clearly a tactic by Microsoft to enrich their support services -- and by enrich I mean increase revenue.

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Defendant presents Playmobil rendering of court in court

Uncle Siggy
Trollface

Dilutes the brand?

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Why Android houses should give Google the 'fork you'

Uncle Siggy
Mushroom

You don't have to maintain it.

Amazon have already forked Linux internally.

You don't have to roll patches to the upstream project if you don't want to.

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1
Uncle Siggy

Because Amazon is so much more benevolent than Google...

They are doubleplusgood.

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/07/18/amazon_removes_1984_from_kindle/

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Yahoo! 'f**ked me over'! says! Carol! Bartz!

Uncle Siggy
Trollface

Herby, don't be a doofus.

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Apple's iCloud runs on Microsoft and Amazon services

Uncle Siggy
Flame

Troll...

Didn't Bilbo & Co. burn you trolls up?

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Google SHOCK! Snaps up Motorola phone biz for $12.5bn

Uncle Siggy
Meh

Corporate Leprosy

As a former Moto mobile division castaway -- Google has just been infected by old-school management rot.

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Anonymous and LulzSec spew out largest ever police data dump

Uncle Siggy

non-violent to boot

Politicos will always have dread of non-violent action. More so when face to face with their own words, identities and actions -- actions often enforced with brutality.

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Yahoo! Mail! users! complain! of! server! flatline!

Uncle Siggy
Trollface

Yippee!

To the the cloud!

1
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On counterfeits, fakes and Apple stores

Uncle Siggy
Coat

faux show

I have a place to spend my counterfeit cash at long last!

But seriously folks, can we refer to rip-offs as "replicants"? I'm sure Deckard would have wanted it that way.

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GCHQ losing its 'internet whizzes' to Microsoft, Google

Uncle Siggy

Wither Google? Wither Government?

I have often wondered if Sam Lowry's* reveries were under the duress of the government or the company.

*watch Brasil

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Wake up, Linux hippies: No one 'morally obligated' to give back

Uncle Siggy

Speaking of ethics

I am an OSS proponent. A recent addition to my team was speaking of how OSSers are ethical compared to Microsoft cretins. The youthful mind often seems to me to be incapable of comprehending amorality. "Yer either fer us, or agin us!"

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Linux 3.0 all about 'steady plodding progress'

Uncle Siggy
Gimp

It should...

...love me. I need a kernel with absolute devotion and unconditional love for me and me alone.

1
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Firefox 5 beta slapped on Mozilla conveyer belt

Uncle Siggy
Heart

Now you've done it

Sometime in the future on The Register:

Computer Git Mauled At Local Zoo

User thinks lynx a big pussy

Local computer nerd climbed into a zoo cage hoping to find a better browsing experience only to have his giblets minced by a lethargic Eurasian Lynx. The cage was strewn with abandoned iPhone 6s and various fondle slabs by would-be photogs and journos that had cheerfully wandered...

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Apple sued over iPhone location tracking

Uncle Siggy
Big Brother

I for one...

welcome our invasive fruity overlords.

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Modern-day ninja in epic battle with riot police, robot

Uncle Siggy
IT Angle

ARM'ed combat

I for one welcome our Ninja overlords.

1
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Research scientist: Cloud is good for IT pros

Uncle Siggy
Pint

@dlc.usa Very astute comment

How many of our Windows "engineering" buddies will be sucked into the cloud? Lowest common denominator (LCD) clouds for the LCD masses. Cheers!

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Overloaded drug-smuggling pigeon nabbed by Colombian cops

Uncle Siggy
Coat

To the cloud!

I've been telling my mates at work that the cloud has been around for years.

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PARIS concocts commemorative cocktail

Uncle Siggy
Paris Hilton

A couple of names

PARIS Parfait

It does have ice cream you know.

Star Wench

Dirty Panties

Futurama Mama

Sex on the Bitch

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Microsoft caps Ballmer bonus over mobile phone, tablet failures

Uncle Siggy
Alert

Duck...

CHAIR!

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'Larry and Sergey's HTML5 balls drained my resources'

Uncle Siggy
Headmaster

Those aren't bucky balls.

Buckyballs are truncated icosahedrons. The Google doodle is just bollocks.

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Undead Commodore 64 comes back for Christmas

Uncle Siggy
Megaphone

@Parsifal Vanity

Ever hear of a vanity press? They don't all make money, but the editors are dead cool!

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Server-based botnet floods net with brutish SSH attacks

Uncle Siggy
Thumb Up

blacklist spammy parts of the world = doubleplusgood

@Jon Thompson 1 Here's an example of a list to knock down traffic from Asia, Russia, Africa and a few other places. http://www.wizcrafts.net/chinese-blocklist.html There are larger lists elsewhere, I just can't find the link at the moment. I deploy the list in my .htaccess file for my hosted website, since such hosts are targets. After deploying this list and some bot blockers, my site saw 25% less traffic, and my site became much more available and performant. The case flow looks like this: "if from China, sod off, if not from China are you a bot, if so, sod off". My forum spam dropped from 4 or 5 daily to 1 per week.

@IIStards You can install mysql, php and phpmyadmin in IIS. I have, and now I don't any more.

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Ballmer's 'lost generation' note finds resonance

Uncle Siggy
Linux

Ballmer Olympics

<insert clever chair throwing or developers, developers, developers remark here>

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Developer slips tethering into iTunes

Uncle Siggy
Headmaster

@Giles

Using Firefox's Agent Switcher plugin I can make it look like I'm using Netscape 1.1 coming from a Commodore 64. Just sayin

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Google versus Facebook: stop your photocopiers

Uncle Siggy
Grenade

Prodigy - Smack My OS Up

Note to Google, Facebook, Microsoft, Apple and etc.:

A faster Prodigy is a shitty Prodigy. AOL much?

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Survey scammers offer fake Doctor Who clips

Uncle Siggy
Grenade

natural selection

So they've finally found an Innerwebs virus/scam that only effects the English. Elegant!

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