* Posts by 0laf

1083 posts • joined 25 Nov 2009

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Intel’s first 10nm CPU is a twin-core i3 destined for a mid-range Lenovo

0laf
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Meh

I had an old i3 that did stalwart service in a self built desktop. Killed off only my MS useless update service on W10.

So a new i3 might not be Max Power worthy news but for a normal user it could well be a decent workhorse processor.

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Openreach consults on shift of 16 MEEELLION phone lines to VoIP by 2025

0laf
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If they offer VOIP will they be offering to drop the line rental charges? Somehow I doubt they'll want to lose the juicy income.

I've no use for a voice line in the house but I've got to bloody have one to get broadband. Dropping it wasn't an option.

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Airbus windscreen fell out at 32,000 feet

0laf
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Pint

Re: Hero ? @Khaptain

Well irrespective of the definition of the word 'Hero' this chap continued to do his job in appalling conditions, with an injured crew, missing instruments and landed his aircraft without further incident or injury.

I think he's a due a slap on the back for that.

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Latest from the coming AI robot apocalypse: we're going to be fine

0laf
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Alien

Vigoda of Gamalon

Was that not a character in a Guardians of the Galaxy comic? Or was it Star Trek?

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Navy names new attack sub HMS Agincourt

0laf
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Mushroom

I still think HMS Did-you-spill-my-pint? and its sister ship HMS Are-you-lookin-at-my-bird? would be winners

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Wah, encryption makes policing hard, cries UK's National Crime Agency

0laf
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We want all our citizens and businesses to be safe and secure online in order to promote the digital economy.

Except when we don't.

Because it's important to be safe on-line to conducts your personal lives and businesses, except with encryption coz that's bad. So be safe without encryption becasue that's important.

Rainbows and unicorn shit form arse munching cockwombling fucking muppets.

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Your software hates you and your devices think you're stupid

0laf
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Interfaces

IT was a small thing but one of the prouder moments of my professional career.

Invited to a tender presentation of a HR that would have carried out occupational health referrals; the sales person duly went through 20 slides outlining the process of how it would work.

30min into this slide she goes through this screen, "and if you enter 'X' the whole process stops because the person won't be delegable".

For some reason my brain worked and I wa able to ask "So you go through 30min and 25 stages to get to this one screen where the process could just end? Why no ask that first and save the 30min?".

I will treasure the salespersons face and inability to answer the question forever.

and we bought another product which incidentally also has a shite interface.

In fact some things we have to use I wonder if the developers are in fact blind or actually bother to try to use the abominations they build. the interfaces, I can only guess, have been cobbled together to cause the least work possible for the developer even if they are completely counter-intuitive.

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App devs bewildered by last-minute Google GDPR klaxon

0laf
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Do you really think Google cares?

They know they've enough money to keep any challenge in the courts for decades.

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There will be blood: BT to axe 13,000 employees

0laf
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Look back the BBC news, same shite, same platitudes just from BT never mind other large businesses going back to 2000 and beyond.

Do they teach these crap PR announcements at MBA school?

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0laf
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Re: if you think they are bad now...

It's a moot point

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0laf
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Re: No people skills whatsovever

Snakes in Suits is a book worth reading.

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So when can you get in the first self-driving car? GM says 2019. Mobileye says 2021. Waymo says 2018 – yes, this year

0laf
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Re: When I can be in the car drunk then maybe

Well I live in the country quite a long way from the major cities. If I want to meet someone for a drink there it would involve a hotel stay or quite a considerable chain of public transport options ending in a large taxi fare. So I stay sober and drive usually.

If I had a self driving car I could get ratted, fall asleep and wake up home. I like that idea.

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0laf
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Pint

When I can be in the car drunk then maybe

As I've said before. When I can legally get in the back seat very drunk, slur "home James", fall asleep AND not be responsible for the driving of the car on the way THEN I'll be interested.

If 'autonomous driving' means the same as Tesla's autopilot in that I need to have my hands on the wheel and be ready to take over at a moment notice then no, I might as well drive the damn thing myself.

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Microsoft vows to bridge phones to PCs, and this time it means it. Honest.

0laf
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Meh

It's almost like we once had a massive company with resources and skills that had a foot in both mobile phones and desktop operating systems and this company without any real competition could ahve chosen to develop an enterprise focussed synergy between its phone and desktop offerings that might have seamlessly linked its back end system as well.

But then what company would want to tap into all those billions of corporate dollars when it could spunk it all up the wall, goodwill and all, chasing after the 5% of big private spenders that love shiny all whilst lying to the businesses and individuals that had bought into its earlier promises of joined up mobile and enterprise.

If any company ever did that it would really burn people and piss them off. You'd think that MAYBE IF THEY TRIED TO DO IT FUCKING TWICE their earlier customers might not buy into the rhetoric.

Just a thought.

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Yes, people see straight through male displays of bling (they're only after a fling)

0laf
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Paris Hilton

Who owned the money

Were they given $20k?

I'd spend $20k I was given very differently than $20k of my own money.

I'd be far more likely to buy something stupid safe in the knowledge I'd be no worse off if it blew up or I wrecked it.

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UK age-checking smut overlord won't be able to handle the pressure – critics

0laf
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Re: Blank Sheet

It's the usual Governmental buck passing.

"Someone made a promise to do something about porn"

"How we gonna do that, I've no idea, will I still get to Fist and Piss Latex Lezzers?"

"Shit shit shit"

"Give it to the thingies that do the DVDs they'll know about that crap"

"Who"

"look on the back of that My Little Pony DVD"

"Oh yeah the BBFC chuck it at them, offer them a couple of million quid and their MD will bite your hand off. Who care if they can do it or not as long as we can just blame them when they fuck up, job done!"

Government does something - tick

Ambitious ass in BBFC gets name in paper - tick

Both will move on when clusterfuck is unveiled to next government contract or directorship.

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Huawei P20: Snappish snaps, but for £200 less than Pro, it’s Notch bad

0laf
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Re: Why use a rotting melon, Mr Reviewer?

They are far more photogenic as well.

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Microsoft's latest Windows 10 update downs Chrome, Cortana

0laf
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Re: They need to make it more modular, trim features, and reduce the Windows updates

A significant push to update my home pc was to cope with W10 updates. It was a cheap but perfectly serviceable i3, 8Gb with SSD, rig which handled pretty much everything I threw at it for years including games. The only thing that brought it to its knees was the WinUpdate service.

I'm now running a Ryzen 7 1800 with 16Gb and it can just about cope with W10 updates. They now take 30min rather than a whole evening.

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0laf
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I struggle to understand why bundling IE resulted in a massive EU court case and new version of Windows yet forcing Edge down everyone's throat is fine. Ditto for Chrome on Droid

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0laf
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Windows

"Oh Cortana is broken" notice no one.

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It's World (Terrible) Password (Advice) Day!

0laf
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"But we're stuck with passwords for the foreseeable future."

Not because we want to but because massive monolithic suppliers like NGA and Capita are not going to develop their ancient yet essential products to support new authentication processes. They barely cope with username/pwd as it is.

And the banks will do anything to avoid spending money as well. Fines will probably be cheaper than redeveloping their websites

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0laf
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The problem with passwords is people. We've reached the limits people can cope with (actually reached and breached about 15yr ago).

But we're stuck with passwords for the foreseeable future.

The advice given out by NIST and NCSC is a little more complex than just set a long simple password and never change it. It also has requirement to monitor for password quality (so no 'passwordpassword') and also to monitor for compromise attempts. So to move away from the regular password changes need a bit of work and possibly money to be spent.

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Former Volkswagen CEO indicted over emission cheating conspiracy

0laf
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You may also note the compensation issued to US customers Vs UK

In the US VAG paid out billions in compensation and bought back affected cars in some cases.

In the UK you've been offered a 'fix' which appears to have a significant change of buggering up your car. In cash terms you've been told to piss off.

I don't drive a VAG btw but I do drive a diesel so far unaffected by any investigations however the diesel scam have knock a lot of value of me motor which is not nice.

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TSB's middleware nightmare: Execs grilled on Total Sh*tshow at Bank

0laf
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Holmes

Banking exec - Is my bonus affected to a point where I'll notice any dip in my income?

Yes - This terrible crisis must be resolved to the satisfaction of all affected I reeeealy mean it

No - I do not give a fuck, I will make a show of caring but I really really do not give two shits and will leverage this as an opportunity to cut more within the bank and leverage my share options just prior to jumping ship at the star of the next clusterfuck.

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NASA demos little nuclear power plant to help find little green men

0laf
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Re: Down Range

Any more dangerous than the radioisotope generators we've hurled into space already?

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I've got way too much cash, thinks Jeff Bezos. Hmmm, pay more tax? Pay staff more? Nah, let's just go into space

0laf
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Terminator

I wonder if these super rich technologists might get together and set up a joint company, maybe call it Combine Honnete Ober Advancer Mercantiles or CHOAM for short (apologies for the niche reference).

But it is a little scary that these guys are working towards the possibility of off world slave colonies that have previously only been the fever dreams of sci-fi writers.

Maybe they'll create a democratic utopia on Mars but if they treat their current workers as meat based robots right now it seems unlikely they'd do things any differently in a new location.

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Apple and The Notched One: It can't hide the X-sized iPhone let-down

0laf
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Re: The fake one might do that but not the real one

I can echo. The most wealthy people I've ever known were also the tightest and would fight tooth and nail over coppers.

The most profligate were often the poorest because they had no real concept of money.

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Press F to pay respects to the Windows 10 April Update casualties

0laf
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Re: XPS

W10 used to have a reasonable MS PDF app but it was withdrawn as yet another way to force you to use Edge.

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Motorised robo-coolbox biz Starship makes lunchtime pitch to campus-dwellers

0laf
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Would never survive a meeting with a group of school kids

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Brit healthcare system inks Windows 10 install pact with Microsoft

0laf
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Is this the usual? Capital to put a plaster over yesterday's problems without any recurring money to fix today's and tomorrow's. I.e. no money for IT staff to actually carry out the functions that were neglected and which led to Wannacry being a problem.

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Javid's in, Rudd's out: UK Home Sec quits over immigration targets scandal

0laf
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Re: Diversity in action ...

"At the core is the previous Home Secretary policy, so this will change nothing."

Unfortunately I think you're right on the money with that.

The authoritarian micromanagement of May will continue.

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UK gov grilled over massive exposure to struggling outsourcer Capita

0laf
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Re: Crapita was always terrible

I knew someone who worked for them and her stories backed that. "Good people, Shit company" was ger general comment.

also Crapita has a lot more than 1000 contracts, that will just be the central government biggies. They also run many critical services in councils as a monopoly supplier. And they run them as a monopoly, gouging prices and not providing support and effectively putting entire organisation at risk because they refuse to maintain products beyond the minimum. Even where legally required.

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Critical infrastructure needs more 21qs6Q#S$, less P@ssw0rd, UK.gov security committee told

0laf
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Banks could start by rolling out 2FA for all their internet backing users. Not just business users.

they know it's best they just don't want to spend the money.

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Danish submariner sent down for life for murder of journalist Kim Wall

0laf
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Much the same as us in the UK. A life sentence doesn't mean a lifetime behind bars.

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Even Microsoft's lost interest in Windows Phone: Skype and Yammer apps killed

0laf
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FAIL

MS lost interest in WinPho pretty much as soon as it birthed a decent product in 8.1

When they discovered that the iPhone X type buyers wouldn't ever be interested in an MS product they ran away, not bothering about the people who quite liked what they had made. The worst bit was their lack of admission that they were running away so they led on buyers to waste money. That's unforgivable.

I still think that Metro was the best phone interface I've ever used.

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'Your computer has a virus' cold call con artists on the rise – Microsoft

0laf
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FAIL

I think I got one of these for the first time last week. I say 'think' because the chap's accent was so thick and the line so bad I really have no idea what he was saying.

I'd be disappointed if it was one. I've been waiting years to get one. So long in fact the chap I was going to pass their details to has been arrested by the FBI and I've never heard form him again.

The local scammers are getting soft. The PPI and accident claims calls guys hang up so easily now, they've no stamina to get led on. They hang up so easily I don't think they can possibly make any money any more.

Man up FFS, I needs my entertainment.

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Sysadmin’s worst client was … his mother! Until his sister called for help

0laf
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My Mother never got past lifting the mouse off the desk when I said "move the mouse up". Luckily touchscreens were invented and she can manage that ok.

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eBay has locked me into undeletable Catch-22 trap, complains biz bod

0laf
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Re: Just wait...

Correct. Unless he's a sole trader then it gets a bit more complicated.

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A developer always pays their technical debts – oh, every penny... but never a groat more

0laf
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Re: CEOs are fed up with their jobs being at risk because some programmer screwed something up

Well that strategy worked well for Trump

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Microsoft's Pelican brief, MAID in Azure* and femtosecond laser glass storage

0laf
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The Sci-fi staple of the data crystal is finally happening

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Gemini: Vulture gives PDA some Linux lovin'

0laf
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Thumb Up

Loved my old Psion 5. The keyboard was a thing of wonder on such a SFF device.

I nearly went in with Gemini but too many horror stories around indy funding (Speccy etc).

At the moment it sounds like I'd be a bit disappointed with V1 but I hope it does well enough to spawn a V2 device where they will get these bugs ironed out.

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Fear the Reaper: Man hospitalised after eating red hot chilli pepper

0laf
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Mushroom

I like things hotter than most people but that doesn't mean I'm remotely interested in eating any of these weaponised fruit. Chili heat for some reasons hits the Chinese Food gland. You eat one, suffer a bit, recover and 10min later your brain is telling you to eat some more.

However I find the videos of idiots eating them on you tube absolutely hilarious so please keep up the good work.

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They're back! 'Feds only' encryption backdoors prepped in US by Dems

0laf
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Unhappy

I don't know why politicians can't get that what they are asking for is effectively the same as asking for a pet dinosaur, or a magic carpet or a shrink ray. The knowledgeable people have all screamed "Ye cannae break the laws of physics, or maths" but it doesn't matter.

They've had an idea, and if they can think it you can do it. They don't need to understand the detail just the idea. So just get on and do it.

Scary that the people in charge can be so proudly ignorant and divorced from reality.

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Tantalising Tabby's Star teases watchers with big dimming event

0laf
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Angel

So the FSM is making shadow animals on the Earth using Tabby's Star as a bulb and his noodly appendages.

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Apple turns hat around, sits backwards on chair, pitches iPad to schools

0laf
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FAIL

Is it enterprise aware?

Does it support multiple users on a single device?

Are you doing your usual and configuring everything so that the kids need personal iTunes accounts and an individual device each before this will work? If so sod off and come back when you have something that is fit for purpose.

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Huawei joins Android elite with pricey, nocturnal 40MP flagship

0laf
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Re: *Points in disappointment*

and it'll be £900

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Five things you need to know about Microsoft's looming Windows 10 Spring Creators Update

0laf
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Mushroom

FK U MS

Windows update.... yay :-|

So I can look forward to long hours of trying to make the machine run properly as it repellently (I tried to write 'repeatedly' but the auto-correct put in that other word and I thought it was better) tries to download and install a multi-gig patch without any warning making the whole rig run like a dog for days.

Then I get to spend a happy few hours putting all the privacy settings back and finding the new places MS has hidden them AND uninstalling all the fucking adverts for Candy Crush, Office 365 etc.

THEN I get to repeat the process on my little atom powered netbook that won't install the patch because it's not got enough fucking memory and won't let me delete all the unnecessary shite that MS forces down.

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Space, the final blunt-tier: Binary system ejected huge 'spliff' asteroid, boffins reckon

0laf
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Boffin

There are likely thousands or millions of bits of interstellar junk passing through our solar system all the time. It's just that we haven't had the technology to detect them until now. I'd expect we'll see the detection of quite a few larger lumps soon until they get ignored as being common.

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Fermi famously asked: 'Where is everybody?' Probably dead, says renewed Drake equation

0laf
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Pants

Everyone with young kids knows that aliens love underpants not socks.

For cruder children I can also recommend "The Dinosaur that pooped the bed".

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0laf
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Boffin

Was there not a comment on this with regard to ourselves? That our move to digital transmissions makes us much harder to detect. Assuming other civilizations are (or were) out there is there not also a question of for what period did that civilisation broadcast signals in a format that we can detect at this point in our civilisation?

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