* Posts by Big_Boomer

490 posts • joined 18 May 2007

Page:

BOFH: Elf of Safety? Orc of Admin. Pleased to meet you

Big_Boomer

OOOOohh

A Boss who understands and respects the BOFH? No doubt he will die horribly in the next instalment after accidentally stealing the PFYs beer, or somesuch :-)

My money was on an accidental strangulation by CAT6 entanglement.

16
0

Smart Hosting offers up service credit in bid to hang on to clients

Big_Boomer

I also host with Smarthost and while I had to wait nearly a week for my support query to be answered, I did get an answer. Previous experiences with other hosts were worse than that under normal circumstances. Yes they are small, but they are UK based and unlike the US based ones previously used they seem to actually give a damn about their customers. They had a problem, they dealt with the problem, and they then apologised. A great many other companies need to learn from this. I'll be staying put and will use the £10 to pay for part of my renewal.

1
0

Huge if true: iPhone 8 will feature 3D selfies, rodent defibrillator

Big_Boomer

Absorbent

El Reg has got it wrong again. It won't be called the iPhone8 or iPhoneX. It will be called the xPhone and will be SUPER absorbent so as to be able to survive the cum showered upon it by over-excited fanboiz. Added features will be whatever Apple deign to allow you to have, and you'd better be grateful or else. Prices will be high enough to make only the stupidly rich able to afford it, which is just as well since they are the only ones gormless enough to think that the interface is anything other than Fisher Price revisited.

0
0

SpaceX blasts back into the rocket trucking business

Big_Boomer

Routine

I love watching that video. Yes it will become routine but that doesn't mean it's not cool. It's another step in getting our eggs out of the one basket. Well done to all involved.

0
0

Nokia's 3310 revival – what's NEXT? Vote now

Big_Boomer

Happy Weekend ye Olde Fartes

Listen to yourselves! Yer all hankering after "the good old days" when they were in fact no better and usually much worse than today. Jeez, next thing you'll be spouting racist crap and voting for the fuddyduddy party. <LOL>

I did love my Sony Walkman but cassettes got tangled and mangled and the damned thing ATE batteries. Apple Mac's were hugely overpriced, the games on the Atari were mostly crap (Frogger, need I say more?), the 3½" floppy whilst good just doesn't have the capacity these days, and I never owned a Psion5 or any other "organiser" until I bought my first "smartphone" (a Nokia N95).

My current MotoG plays music (Walkman), organises me (Psion) has more computing power than the Mac (and a higher res screen), plays better games than the Atari, and can store more than 20000 floppies. Nuff said?

1
8

Prepare your popcorn: Wikipedia deems the Daily Mail unreliable

Big_Boomer

Lies!

Lies in print, or to give them their new buzzword "Fake News" are nothing new. I heard a quote many years ago about how if you see it in print, it's probably not true. No I can't remember the source and don't care to try and find it. Almost everything you see in print (paper, screen, etc.) is either somebodies opinion or else some somebodies opinion of somebody else's opinion.

I have a somewhat morbid habit of comparing the numbers of deaths/injuries from disasters (natural and deliberate) reported in various media. Some understate the numbers whilst others overstate right up until an official body releases exact numbers at which point they would all use that number. Those that had to sell advertising almost invariably overstated whilst those who didn't usually understated. Try it yourself next time and you will see what I mean.

4
0

A non-Standards Soviet approved measure of weight? Sod off, BBC!

Big_Boomer

Pubes

That's not heavy. It's only 31,818,181,818,181.81818181818181..... pubes, or nearly 32 TeraPubes.

4
0

Human memory, or the lack of it, is the biggest security bug on the 'net

Big_Boomer

Layered security

I, like many here, use a password manager and I use layered security. Yes, I reuse a comparatively simple password for sites where I really don't care about the security as the damage that can be caused by someone else knowing that password is minimal. For other sites I use a more complex password and change it moderately frequently where I care more about my data. For sites that need better security I use one off passwords and also change these fairly frequently. I have over 200 different passwords (for over 500 different logins), many of which change at least once per year and there is no way in hell anyone is going to remember them all.

Too many sites insist that you create an account to interact with that site when that interaction is minimal or else very low risk. There has also recently been a proliferation of sites where you can login with your Facebook/Google account which simplifies things somewhat, until someone hacks their databases at which point you are screwed. I am not sure what the solution is, but asking us to remember more complex passwords it NOT the answer, and neither is centralised ID databases.

3
0

Trumping free trade: Say 'King of Bankruptcy' Ross does end up in charge of US commerce

Big_Boomer

"May you live in interesting times"

Perhaps "Le Pet" would be an appropriate nickname for him?

Who was it that outsourced all these jobs to cheaper labour countries in the first place? It was "Le Pet" and other rich people who saw a way to make more money by moving production where the labour was cheapest. I think he is going to be very upset when he realises just how long it's gonna take to get this in-sourcing done. Certainly way longer than his maximum 8 years in office.It's gonna be interesting to be on the inside of the train crash that is now imminent across the world with this rise in Nationalism or so called Populism. Anyone wanna start a sweepstake on when the first shooting war starts over this? Humans really are unbelievably stupid and short-sighted, not to mention short on memory.

3
0

Train your self-driving car AI in Grand Theft Auto V – what could possibly go wrong?

Big_Boomer

Freeways

Would be interesting to see how it coped with an oncoming vehicle on the freeway? I've seen that a few times in GTA V,....and once in the real world. Chaos and destruction ensued in both instances.

1
0

Anti-smut law dubs PCs, phones 'pornographic vendor machines', demands internet filters

Big_Boomer

Ebay

And how are they going to regulate purchases from Ebay. I recently bought an Android TV box from China and I can't see how NDAK or SCAR could prevent those purchases. As others have said, I hope it passes as would be interesting to see the consequences. Not really any different from the "Dry Counties" they have here and there in the USA. Their borders with other counties are rammed with Liquor stores and bars. Land of the free? Yeah, right.

0
0

Major maser microwaves Hubble

Big_Boomer

Death Star

It's a Death Star that has missed it's target, which is unsurprising given that most Stormtroopers can't hit the planet they are standing on.

15
1

Radical 5G rules proposed, but UK can address woeful coverage right now

Big_Boomer

What Coverage?

I live in a 33,000 population town in Essex. We are 12 miles from the M25. Even here Vodafail couldn't provide adequate 2G coverage such that I could make and take calls from my sofa. The 3G coverage for all providers on Britains busiest motorway (largest carpark),...(the M25) is atrocious. So, if the incompetents,... sorry, incumbents cannot provide adequate coverage to their PRIMARY market, what chance is there for rural communities and other low usage areas. What is the answer? Dunno, but the current system has led me to lose interest in the latest/greatest phones as there is no point in having and paying for a super-dooper-whizz-bang phone with 10Gb data per month when you can never get anywhere near that usage due to inadequate coverage.

4
1

Canadian cops cuff 11-year-old lad after Grand Theft Auto gets real

Big_Boomer

GTA is an 18 certificate game

As usual a computer game takes the blame for incompetent parents. It's a shame Johnny didn't total their car as then they would have felt the financial pain rather than just a bollocking from the RCMP.

My sister asked me years ago if buying it for her 11 year old was appropriate. I asked her if stealing cars, screwing hookers, dealing drugs and killing people was appropriate for an 11 year old. She said "Obviously not!" so I said "Then why are you asking if an 18 Cert game is appropriate for an 11 year old?"

10
0

Antivirus tools are a useless box-ticking exercise says Google security chap

Big_Boomer

State of mind

Security is a state of mind, but unfortunately most end users just don't think (State of mind = NULL) and can be conned/phished/bamboozled into doing whatever a good manipulator wants. On the other hand security is a royal PITA as needed access is often blocked.

I understand it better than many as I ride motorcycles. To most people they are a death trap, and while I have had my fair share of accidents I feel that the trade off is worthwhile. Being stuck in a traffic jam for hours every day is boring and soul-destroying.

So, reasonable security is the way to go but be aware that you will never be fully secure, even on an air-gapped PC. As for securing the mindless,..... <rotflmao>

2
1

Building IOT London sessions: From tiny sensors to big data

Big_Boomer
Coat

Internet of Thingys ?

Coat, door,.......

0
0

Encrypted email sign-ups instantly double in wake of Trump victory

Big_Boomer

Liberal

Liberal - "willing to respect or accept behaviour or opinions different from one's own; open to new ideas." Also a word hijacked by the USA to mean Socialist or Communist or anything other than right-wing Capitalist/Conservative/Fascist.

As for the email discussion, the government is welcome to read my emails. All my real communication goes via quantum encrypted farts, which they can sniff all they want. Mmmmmm, Peperami and Brussels Sprouts for lunch!

4
0

Pythons Idle and Cleese pen anti-selfie screed

Big_Boomer

Egomaniacs

It's all about Me, Me, Me. Me in every picture, proof that Me was somewhere, proof that Me met someone, proof that Me has a new shirt. <YAWN!> Personally I rarely take pics of Me, could care less if anyone wants proof of anything, and if I need an aide-memoire I take a pic of what I need to remember. Only an egomaniac takes endless pictures of themselves and posts them on "social" media. Get over yerself. Nobody cares!

3
1

Toblerone's Brexit trim should be applied to bloatware

Big_Boomer
Mushroom

Android Bloat

Windows and other SW has nothing on Droid apps. The Facebook app has gone from 50Mb to well over 200Mb in just over 2 years. At that rate in just 5 years you will need a phone with 32Gb RAM and 500Gb of storage.

Not that anything really matters any more as LeTrump will soon be converting everyone to irradiated roadkill.

1
0

Getting your tongue around foreign tech-talk is easier than you think

Big_Boomer

Le FrenchTech

Le French have LOTS of their own words for some tech stuff, but not for others. You will hear them talking about reinstalling the "ordinateur" at "le weekend" from a "clé USB". If you get confused just do what most Brits do when abroad - SHOUT and wave your hands about. Me, I cultivated a Belgian accent years ago so nobody knows I'm British unless I tell them, though I do get comments about being "Le plus grand Belge que j'ai jamais vu de ma vie!"

7
0
Big_Boomer

Re: Rue de Fourbastard

Must have been a Bakery there with a grumpy baker. Means "Road of the Bastard Oven" :D

2
1

iPhone fatigue and fading Samsung. This planet is bored with big brand phones

Big_Boomer
Coat

BLOAT

My biggest gripe about most phones is the vast amount of BLOAT on there. They quote 32Gb of storage but 4Gb is used by the OS and then there is 8Gb of BLOAT which consists of mostly useless apps that nobody wants but which you cannot uninstall, and which grows with every update. So you end up with 20Gb of usable storage, not the 32Gb you bought. iOS and Android phones all suffer from this and unless you are willing to Root the phones with the issues that that causes you are stuck with their crap. I can fully understand why more and more people are going for the Vanilla Android option in the Google/Motorola phones, but even there Google keep adding BLOAT by including stuff that maybe some people want but not everyone, but that cannot be uninstalled. Battery life is less of an issue for me as they all last at least a day unless you are a phone zombie. Cyanogen seemed to be onto a good thing but they also seem to have gone down the BLOAT road so I can see that dying an early death. I get why manufacturers want to add these things to the phones,... but PLEASE let us uninstall what we don't want. Otherwise kiss goodbye to your sales. Mine is the coat with the MotoG in it :D

0
0

Despite best efforts, fewer and fewer women are working in tech

Big_Boomer

Re: Yup, women are smarter.

It is the curse of the highly intelligent to be surrounded by idiots, it's also basic statistics. Intelligent people can still be selfish @r$eholes though.

2
0

Skin tattoo will tell your phone when you've had a skinful

Big_Boomer

Selfish

Sorry, but if you are going to drive, you shouldn't be drinking at all, regardless of the quantity involved. Sitting with a friends bleeding head resting on my lap, having pulled him out of a rolled over car that was t-boned (I was also a passenger in the car), I saw the driver of the car who t-boned us stagger out of what was left of his car and stumble up to a tree and puke his guts up. When the police arrived he was found to be 300% over the limit, was eventually prosecuted and got a 2 year ban and a big fine. The police believe he passed out at the wheel and blew straight through the red light. We also learned in court that this was his 5th drink driving offence but the first in which he caused a crash. My friend got 70+ stitches in his head, had concussion for a week and is scarred for life.

2
2

Basic income after automation? That’s not how capitalism works

Big_Boomer

And thus we see the inherent flaw in Capitalism, it requires population growth. More people buying more stuff is an absolute requirement. We need to sell more shoes to grow our company, but people only have 2 feet, therefore we need more people or we need them to buy more shoes. That is how "Marketing" got invented so they could persuade people to buy stuff they don't need or even want, all in the name of growth.

The idea of Basic Income is excellent. Since everyone will get BI regardless of what they do (or don't do) people will be freer to choose what they want to do, and if what they choose generates more income for them, then great, but if not then their kids won't starve. Paid work will become graded according to how difficult it is to get someone capable of doing it to actually do it. Want to buy a house, but making crocheted doilies isn't generating enough income for you? Spend a year cleaning portable toilets and buy that house for cash. :D

10
2

Cheer up Samsung! You might get back $400m for copying the iPhone

Big_Boomer

Tribal Loyalties

I can never understand why some people think that because they like a product some company makes, then that company can do no wrong. Most companies have one goal in mind and that it to make more money. To get that money they will do just about anything that they can get away with, and this holds for Apple, Samsung, Microsoft, Google, and nearly every other company that exists. I personally prefer the Android interface over IOS but that DOESN'T mean that I think Google can do no wrong and Apple are the pits. Why does everyone these days seem to think and speak in Black and White when the world is all shades of grey and an infinite variety of shades of an infinite palate of colours as well. I refuse to let the companies brainwash me into only buying their products. Hence I have an IOS work phone, an Android personal phone, an Android tablet, Win7, Win10 and and Linux on my PCs and I don't have or want a smartwatch. These are just products, not your Tribe ffs. Apple came up with a design that was based on lots of prior art (see Compaq TC1000 amongst many others) and refined it. That is the nature of design. You come up with something similar but different enough to avoid lawsuits which is exactly what Google did with Android. Samsungs mistake was to not understand that the American Patent system would allow Apple to sue them for being too similar. I could care less who wins the case but the US patent system badly needs an overhaul as it is now stifling innovation.

5
1

Google hires comedians

Big_Boomer

"OK Google, please show me the nearest petrol station"

"Brain the size of a planet and you ask me to show you the nearest petrol station. Call that job satisfaction? ‘Cos I don’t. And then of course I’ve got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.”

4
0

Windows updates? Just trust us, says Microsoft executive

Big_Boomer

Compensation!!

I will set the machines I have control over to Update automatically when MS agree to financially compensate me for every time they f**k up one of my machines with one of their updates. Far too often they decide to update a device driver and consequently I get the pleasure of figuring out the cause, installing the correct driver, and disabling that update. XP was awful, Win7 was better, but even my Win10 machines have had to have this done twice now. It's not just drivers either, updates often cause problems with programs. Look at the .NET debacle. MS have decided that .NET 4.5 and 4.6 are later versions of 4.0 so they update to these Automatically. However, there are major functionality changes in 4.5 and 4.6 which means that they break the programs that were written for 4.0. I've no idea why they weren't called 5.0 and 6.0 but the auto-updates of .NET on our customers machines wastes about 5 hours per week of my time.

0
0

BOFH: The Idiot-ware Project and the Meaningless Acronym

Big_Boomer

Match Snappers!!

Specifically meetings soooooo dull that the matchsticks you have propped your eyes open with SNAP! Death by Powerpoint! Meetings that even Buzzword Bingo can't help. Please, just shoot me.

1
0

Got a great IoT story to tell? You have until Friday to let us know

Big_Boomer

Identity?

Add WiFi to your passport, driving licence or ID card. IDIot :D

IoT,... sounds to me like yet another pointless marketing ploy to sell useless tat to gullible morons, much like the StupidWatch craze and many more before that.

0
0

Google may just have silently snuffed the tablet computer

Big_Boomer

I bought a Galaxy Note 10.1 (2Gb RAM, 16Gb Flash + 64Gb SD) about 2½ years ago and it's still going strong although still on 4.12 due to Samsung deciding not to upgrade Android on it. Paid £320 for it and at the time it was high end for a 10" tablet. It gets used every single day for email, web browsing, social media, news, weather, shopping, games, and even some techy stuff. When it dies or can no longer cope with the size of the bloatware loaded on it, I will upgrade to a top-ish spec tablet but not before. Currently I would expect to replace it with a 10" with 4Gb RAM, 64Gb Flash but all of those are IMHO overpriced. Phone screens are too small for most of what I do on it but tablets are too big to be lugging around. My phone is a Moto G (3rd gen) and mostly does phone/text duty as well as SatNav, car/headphone music player with occasional web browsing/email/weather/games if I am out and about. Phone gets replaced when the contract expires, Tablet when I need to replace it.

2
0

Narcissist Heidi Powell wants her dot-com and she wants it now, now, NOW!

Big_Boomer

SURPRISE!

Oooh, someone who is so self obsessed that they feel that the whole universe exists just for their benefit? There are more of these people out there than you think. I see many of them every day and some of them are so far up there they can kiss their own tonsils. ;-)

3
0

Days are numbered for the Czech Republic

Big_Boomer

Czechia?

It should be pronounced Checkia, not Chechia, which helps avoid the association with Chechnya.

0
0

UK copyright troll weeps, starts 20-week stretch in the cooler for beating up Uber driver

Big_Boomer

Big Bob

With any luck he will be put in a cell with "Big Bob" and his exceptionally wide thingy. :-)

0
2

SETI Institute damps down 'wow!' signal report from Russia

Big_Boomer

Shhhhhh

Keep the radio noise down! Otherwise the humans will want to talk to you and you know what they are like. Once you acknowledge their existence you will NEVER get them to shut up. Just look at their excessive EM emissions,....like anybody cares whether The Trump beats The Clinton or vice-versa. <sigh>

10
0

New booze guidelines: We'd rather you didn't enjoy yourselves

Big_Boomer

Make alcohol illegal

Oh wait, that didn't work did it? I know, how about we deny NHS treatment to drinkers, and smokers, and the obese, and anyone who does adventure sports, and bacon sandwich eaters. Are these people human or just fecking eejits? Anyone with a brain knows that everything gives you cancer to one degree or another. Reducing your alcohol intake from 21 units per week to zero will have no effect on the pollution you inhale every day, or the multitude of natural and artificial chemicals in the food you eat. Besides, didn't we export all our Puritans to the Colonies 250 years ago? May need to do it again!

21
3

Baffled Scots cops call in priest to deal with unruly spirits

Big_Boomer
Coat

Chucka

Ladies and Gentlegeeks, I present for your delectation, the one, the only, RattaPult. Fully WiFi connected (bluetooth an optional extra) allowing you to pult your rat from anywhere in the world (subject to available internet connectivity). Mines the one with the IoT back massager and the collar speakers.

5
0

POS malware stings 20 US hotels

Big_Boomer

POS?

To me POS will always mean something else entirely. I'm guessing that those in the Point Of Sale equipment business understand the other meaning,.... or are both meanings applicable? That would certainly explain the recent spate or hackings and crackings. Why haven't these companies marketing people come up with a new and better acronym?

0
0

Hitler ‘ransomware’ offers to sell you back access to your files – but just deletes them

Big_Boomer

Ransonware

"Rançon" is French for ransom so I suspect someone is either French/Francophone or else wants us to think so. Have now seen several instances of Ransom-ware and anyone who pays should be permanently denied all internet access privileges and only be allowed a phone if it involves yoghurt cups and string. Backup your data people!!!

0
0

London's 'automatic' Tube trains suffered 750 computer failures last year

Big_Boomer

Re: Vacancy for Robot Phsycologists now arising

Or Robot Psychologists even. :-)

3
0

Windows 10 still free, even the Anniversary Update, if you're crass

Big_Boomer

Daft!

Why bother to put a time limit on the free upgrade? Everyone who wanted it already has it, everyone else will probably never use it. If ya buy a new PC it will come with Win10 as you won't be able to buy Win7 or earlier. If you choose to use *nix then good for you and I hope it makes you happy and fulfilled.

If you wanted but missed out on the free upgrade then tough ****! You had a whole year,.... now wake the **** up and get with it! :-)

4
2

Cyberpunks might not be crooks but they're really very rude

Big_Boomer

Wha?

Cyberpunk is a "genre" so not sure if El Reggies should be using it to describe an individual or individuals. Now a cyber-punk would be an apt description of the thieving geek scum in question. If you take offence to my use of the term geek,....well you can Fdisk /mbr off and connect to 127.0.0.1!

6
0

Oh dear, Vodafone: Sales dip in UK

Big_Boomer

Vodacrap

My experience of Vodanaff was some 15 years of decent service followed by worsening signals, incompetent support, constant price hikes, and regular outages. When I complained that the signal level at my home had gone from 4 bars to 1 (and to get that I had to go upstairs, and I live in the middle of a housing estate in a medium sized town) their response was to try to sell me a £60 microcell jobby that would route their calls through MY broadband connection. REALLY? Are their people really that stupid. So, I got the **** out and moved to Tesco. 3 years later I am still with them, am paying less than half what I was paying Vodacrud 3 years ago for a much better phone and more minutes, have 4 bars signal at home, and whenever I have to call their Support, they are a joy to deal with. Of course, that may change now they have outsourced their support, but I hope not.

1
0

World religions stake out positions on Pokemon Go

Big_Boomer
Alien

Holy Ghost

Who is to say that the "Ghost in the machine" isn't the Holy Ghost? Would be funny as **** if it turned out that there was a God and her name was Pikachu.

3
0

Apple Watch craze over before it started: Wrist-puter drags market screaming off a cliff

Big_Boomer

Fitbit

I can't remember ever seeing anybody wearing an iWatch. Fitbits on the other hand seem to be everywhere. Of no interest to me either way. Was always gonna be a small market compared to smartphone sales. I also believe that Joe/Jane Public are finally starting to get wise to "The Hype". Hopefully the manufacturers will now start developing stuff that actually makes a difference to our lives rather than just another useless bit of bling with the "right" logo on it.

0
0

Tesla whacks guardrail in Montana, driver blames autopilot

Big_Boomer

Darwin Fail!

"Damn" said Darwin,. "Nearly had him!". Oh well, he's a ****up so undoubtedly another opportunity will come along soon. Just need to make sure he doesn't breed first.

3
0

You can be my wingman any time! RaspBerry Pi AI waxes Air Force top gun's tail in dogfights

Big_Boomer
Terminator

I for one...

would like to welcome our new RaspberryPI masters.

3
0

DARPA demands brand-new command … IN SPAAACE!

Big_Boomer

Until a Hacker uploads a SpamBot to your brain and you spend the rest of your life spouting off about cheap Cialis and cheap Oakleys.

4
0

Brexit? Cutting the old-school ties would do more for Brit tech world

Big_Boomer

Dance Monkey Dance!

Your Masters have commanded you to free them from the shackles of the EU and you are going to do it. Afterwards you are all going to cry about how you were deceived and you didn't know and it's not your fault. But then it will be too late. Of course the rest of us will have to suffer alongside you, but at least we will be able to smugly say "Told you so!". Murdoch et al must be laughing their arses off at you all. God forbid that you try and look at what is going on and actually think for yourself. Much easier to do what the shiny box tells you to do. Dance Monkey Dance!!

13
8

FBI director claims that videoing police is causing crime uptick

Big_Boomer

MORE GUNS!

I know,... the solution is MORE GUNS! Everyone should be required to carry a gun at all times, even in the shower or on the loo. That will help lower the murder rate. <LOL> It still stuns me how an entire nation can be so oblivious to utterly obvious facts that having guns in every ones hands leads to more gun deaths, especially when so many of those with the guns are young, poor, reckless and have nothing to lose.

As for Police brutality, it is everywhere but is almost always just a few bad eggs. I do feel sorry for the cops in some instances as they get constantly provoked and everyone has a breaking point. This brutality almost always happens in "low rent" areas where the public are poor and far more likely to turn to violent crime as they have little to lose, but the cops as many others have said HAVE to hold themselves to a much higher standard of behaviour. If you can't handle it then you shouldn't get the badge.

2
1

Page:

Forums