* Posts by Big_Boomer

579 posts • joined 18 May 2007


Use an 8-char Windows NTLM password? Don't. Every single one can be cracked in under 2.5hrs


Security SUX

All these passwords are a PITA to remember & manage, even with password managers, yet despite this nobody has managed to come up with a viable secure replacement for them. Bio-metrics seems to have died away (apart from fingerprint login on your phone) and so called face recognition is very insecure since it's dead easy to fool. Besides, once someone manages to hack your Bio-metrics, you are well and truly f***ed!

Perhaps it's time to go back to a physical device coupled with questions and answers. The physical device is personal (ring, watch, rfid card) and it identifies you, but when you login it asks questions only you know the answer to. Now you just have to remember the answers to your questions and most importantly not give that info away on FaceTwit. If you lose your device it can be replaced and new logins can be setup. If you are the kind of moron who loses stuff all the time, then you get the device embedded in your body with a nail-gun :-)

Return of the audio format wars and other money-making scams


Laser Ripper?

Didn't someone come up with a laser scanner that could read a whole vinyl LP at once and convert it to the digital storage format of your choice? Whatever happened to that?

I tried using one of those record player/ripper things and the process is painful beyond measure. It doesn't separate the tracks, it doesn't stop/start automatically, and you have to sit there and watch it while it does it's thing. BORED!! I did the 15 LPs I cared the most about and then gave up and just re-ordered those that I could in digital format (CD or MP3), and only used it for those of my vinyls that are not available in digital format.

As for the audiophiles, to each their hobby but don't bore me with it or I will retaliate by going into intricate detail about the rebuild of my 1989 Kawasaki engine. I am 55 years old and in my teens I used to tune unsilenced 2-stroke mopeds in a small garage (ahh the smell of Castrol-R!), so these days I struggle to hear above 14kHz. Therefore your £Gazillion audio system is a waste of money to me, but if it gets you off, enjoy!!

Bloke thrown in the cooler for eight years after 3D-printing gun to dodge weapon ban


The USA loves it's guns

Get over it. They are not going to give up their guns. The press here keep reporting on the massacres that seem to occur every other day over there as if they are something new, when they are not. The USA seems to accept those massacres as the price of universal gun ownership, so we should leave them to it and stop reporting it here.

Roses are red, so is ketchup, 'naked' Huawei tells its critics to belt up


USA vs China

Personally, I wouldn't trust either of these. The NSA seemed to have all kinds of backdoors and such if the recent release of their stuff is to be believed so I assume GCHQ are trying to catch up.

Nah, I trust countries, companies, groups, associations and affiliates about as far as I can throw a main battle-tank. Individuals can sometimes be trusted but even then not always.

Samsung Galaxy's flagship leaks ... don't matter much. Here's why



It's the Tenties, not Twenty-Teens!! Eighties, Nineties, Noughties, Tenties, and in 10½ months time it will be the Twenties. As for yet another overpriced, overhyped phone for those muppets who just have to have a phone that is "Considerably better than yows",... yawn! I'll stick to a nice cheap mid-range that does more than I need anyways. Nothing on any of these flagship models from any brand are worth the extra they are charging for them.

A once-in-a-lifetime Opportunity: NASA bids emotional farewell to its cocky, hardworking RC science car on Mars


RIP Opportunity

So, we've had Spirit, Opportunity, Curiosity, and the next Rover will also be named by a school kid.


I wonder if we'll end up with Rover McRoverFace or more likely something like FinanceMyF***ingWallYouB***ards! if Fartus gets his say.

One click and you're out: UK makes it an offence to view terrorist propaganda even once


Stupid morons

And entering from stage right are a wide variety of people publicly posting a variety of links pointing to "illegal-to-view-just-once" terrorist documents with such names as HowToGetNakedBritneyPics.txt so that just about every click-happy moron in the country becomes a criminal. Welcome to HMP United Kingdom.

Trolling in the Reg's forums... we mean, er, 'working' on the train still rubbish thanks to patchy data coverage



The really crazy thing about this is that a lot of UKs backhaul passes through fibres running alongside the rail lines. Yes, just feet from your windows there is a bundle of fibres carrying many many TB/s of data but you can't get at it. Pretty soon the train companies will wise up and start offering 5G in each carriage so you can watch your personal choice of drivel whilst travelling. As for people doing work on trains, you are not as common as you think. Most of us relish the downtime away from the "always available" society. Personally whilst on the train I often put my phone on silent because I don't want to speak to anyone, put the headphones in, crank up some Nile or other Technical Death Metal, and bury my head in a good Sci-Fi novel. People tend to leave you alone when yer grunting "There is no God..." in time with the tagline in "Kafir". :D

HMRC: We 'rigorously tested' IR35 tax-check tool... but have almost nothing to show for it



Chances are that HMRC hired a contractor to create CEST, but as usual decided to terminate their contract early due to some utterly irrelevant government initiative, and so ended up with nobody who understood the software, how to use it, or even exactly what it was intended for.

But, because some bureaucrats job is now on the line (the one who used that government initiative to get rid of the contractor and make it look like they were saving the taxpayer some money) it got released as a Beta even though it is probably not even at first Alpha stage. One of the many reasons I won't work with public sector entities any more.

You got a smart speaker but you're worried about privacy. First off, why'd you buy one? Secondly, check out Project Alias


I like it :-)

No, I don't have a SnoopySpeaker in my life, but the idea of the programmable Pi-Snot being able to play what I decide I want it to hear appeals to me. Probably an endless loop of their own adverts. As for the activation phrase, obviously it would be "Oi PFY,.....", although "Oi, f***wit,....." would also be tempting.

How big is the UK space industry? It hauled in £14.8bn for 2016/2017 – report



I am almost looking forward to the aftermath of Brexit. I'm going to enjoy saying "Told you so" and "You f***ing voted for it!" over and over for many many years. However, the redundancies will not be along leave/remain lines so many who voted remain will still get shafted. And before anyone starts in on the fact that they won and remoaners should shut up and live with it, go vote yourself a second brain cell!

Canadians moot methods to embiggen moose monument and make Mac great again


Re: Go on, laugh

Don't forget Shitterton, Loose Bottom, Crapstone, Penistone, Cockermouth, good old Nasty, and many many more. The colonies don't have a monopoly on daft place names ya know.

As for the statues, the solution is obvious, Canada has the largest Moose statue, and Norway has the largest Elg statue. As for the biggest Moose/Elk/Elg/лось, the largest is probably a toss up between the Alaskan Moose and the лось or Alces alces buturlini that lives in Siberia. So once again USA vs Russia :-)

I studied hard, I trained for years. Yay, now I'm an astronaut in space. Argggh, leukemia!


Cause and Effect

Undoubtedly the genius scientists investigating this haven't thought about the fact that living in a sterile environment means that the body needs less HK cells, and therefore produces less HK cells? Reminds me of overly protective mothers who sterilise everything continuously and yet can't understand why their little darlings end up with every allergy under the sun. We humans are designed to live in a bacteria/virus infested miasma, so putting us in any kind of sterile environment is counter productive. That said, before man can live away from this planet for extended periods, we need to get better radiation shielding or else just accept the increase in mutations in ourselves and our biosphere.

Apple: You can't sue us for slowing down your iPhones because you, er, invited us into, uh, your home... we can explain



What? You thought Apple loved you? Bwahahahahaha, Apple loves your MONEY, but never you.

Nothing 'unites teams' like a good relocation, eh Vodafone?


Relocation sux

Been through this too many times, sufficient that now when I'm told I'm being relocated, I relocate myself to a different job.

I can understand some moves, but many of those that I have had forced upon me were simply to make the new CEOs commute easier.

I worked for a company in the late 90s that was bought out and a new CEO installed who lived in St Albans. The company was based in Basildon, but within 6 months was relocated to Watford. A mere 12 months later and 90% of the staff had left taking with them years of experience and about half of our customers. I myself relocated to the Watford area but 3 years later moved back to Essex and ended up working with many of my former collegues.

My advice to any company considering relocation, make certain you have rational reasons for the relocation, and count on losing all of your experienced staff, as they are the ones who find it easiest to get another job.

Man drives 6,000 miles to prove Uncle Sam's cellphone coverage maps are wrong – and, boy, did he manage it


Surely if the providers are lying about coverage and data speeds, those who have a contract with them can sue, or at worst have the contract declared void.

I ditched Vodafone here because their coverage was awful in the 2 places I used it most (home and work) but their support people swore blind that their coverage in both areas was excellent. They then offered to let me buy a £60 microcell to compensate for their crap coverage at which point I moved to Tesco (O2) and now enjoy decent coverage nearly everywhere. Voda have since improved their coverage for my home area, so I guess it wasn't as "excellent" as they claimed after all.

Forget your deepest, darkest secrets, smart speakers will soon listen for sniffles and farts too


Alexa/Google This!

<sounds of a smartspeaker being pounded into dust with a large lump hammer> :-)

To be honest, you already have a several devices in your house that can listen to you whenever some spook wants to. Landline phones, cellphones, laptops and tablets all have built in microphones. However, giving access to marketers is insanity. Like we don't already get deluged in ad crap already!!!

Thanks to UK peers, coming to a laptop near you in 2019: Age checks for online smut


The problem with modern tech is that the kids mostly understand it, and the parents mostly don't, so the kids will run rings around any restrictions the parents try to impose. As for this porn check thing, it won't work, it'll end up being just another instance in the long line of "restrictive" measures introduced by governments. After all making Cannabis illegal worked just great didn't it, and the restrictions on under 18s getting fags and booze seem to be working,..... oh no they're not working either. For those worried about it, get a new Credit Card, use that for the AVS and for nothing else, so when you get charged on that card you will know EXACTLY who to sue. :-)

Doom at 25: The FPS that wowed players, gummed up servers, and enraged admins


I ran W3D on a 20Mhz 286 (MSDOS 6.22 & WfW3.11) that I had chip upgraded (yes, before Memory Modules) to 4Mb RAM. A friend gave me a hacked version of EMM386 called EMM286 that allowed it to access that RAM. W3D ran fine and it would run Doom, but only if you were willing to put up with pauses every so often (and frequent crashes). Replaced it with a 486sx25 (W95) that ran Doom fine and many many hours of fun were had running lan games over a 10base2 network. I remember running GodMode and bouncing all over the place by firing the rocket launcher at my feet <LOL>. Better yet was when the console version of Doom was released and the inevitable bloodbath as the crappy console controllers were no match for seasoned Doomers using keyboard and mouse,.... or was that Quake,.... damn getting old sux! :-)

Supernovae may explain mass extinctions of marine animals 2.6 million years ago


Opportunity missed

What was wrong with the headline "Megalodon f**ked by gang-bang" :-)

Australia's 'snoop minister' wants crypto-busting law probe wound up, proposals back into parliament


WooooOOOooooooo,.,.. Boogeyman!!!

Be afraid of everything! Your fear gives me power,... power to control THE DARK SIDE OF THE FORCE!!!

But then the morons of the world do seem to keep on electing these manipulative self-centred scumbag ass-feeders into government. And no, it's not just Australia/USA/UK, it's everywhere!!

Did you hear? There's a critical security hole that lets web pages hijack computers. Of course it's Adobe Flash's fault


Nuke it from orbit,....

It's the only way to be sure! :-)

Seriously, why didn't Adobe just EoL Flash 2 years ago? That would have forced everyone to use something else and would probably have saved the sanity of many a poor support techie. Still gonna be active for another 2 years? Jeez, just put a ****ing bullet in it's brain and move on.

Scam or stunt? It's looking like the latter... Xiaomi so sorry for £1 smartphone 'promo'


Cheats, Lies, and Marketing

Why are so many people surprised? Marketing types count on your stupidity and gullibility with all their promotions, but they make sure that they have legally covered their ass,... mostly.

Open the pod bay doors: Voice of HAL 9000 Douglas Rain dies at 90


RIP Douglas

Thanks, you made HAL real for so many of us. :-(

Slabs, huh, what are they are good for? Er, not quite absolutely nothing


I like 'em

Since I bought my first Tablet (Note 10.1) my PC use has plummeted at home. The tablet does my personal email, almost all my personal Web access, a few simple games, and some useful occasional use apps. The home PC now gets turned on maybe once a week, mostly for gaming. That said I do work in front of a PC 5 days a week but then I'm a Techie.

Smartphones are useful but the screen is too small for my ageing eyesight and trying to type with my sausage fingers is frustrating as hell, especially with predictive enabled.

Mything the point: The AI renaissance is simply expensive hardware and PR thrown at an old idea


Expert Systems

I've been saying for years that these are Expert Systems, not Artificial Intelligence. AI as a term applied to 99.99% of everything over the last few years is akin to calling a Horse and Cart a StarShip. I have no doubt that we will eventually get AI, the same as I believe we will one day travel to the stars (if we survive), but we ain't even close yet.

US Republicans bash UK for tech tax plan


USA: "We are the richest country on the planet, but only because we borrow so much and collect tax on profits that are made in other countries, so of course we are going to complain when you finally wake up and notice that we have been RIPPING YOU OFF for decades you stupid people"

Rest of World: "Tax ALL USA based businesses out of our markets. Lets see how FARTUS likes it when the whole world turns their back on the US."

If you have inner peace, it's probably 'cos your broadband works: Zen Internet least whinged-about Brit ISP – survey


Re: 81 per cent of those surveyed haven't switched in over two years

Agreed, kinda like British Political Parties, you have the choice between shit, crap, excrement, and poop. The more you pay, the more politely their rubbish service is delivered. Yes, I'm a GoM, but service seems to be assuming mythical status these days. Even my window cleaner can't be arsed to show up regularly any more.

F***=off, Google tells its staff: Any mention of nookie now banned from internal files, URLs


I like Fucking!

It's a lovely little Austrian hamlet although their village signs do get stolen quite often. Location courtesy of Hypocrite Maps.




Google seem happy enough to link to all kinds of "naughty" words in URLs when it comes to their search engine,.... oh but that is their income isn't it.

To the censors of our fine English language I say faq you all. You are all a bunch of fokking shoiteheads and really need to get a life.

You will never ever manage to suppress the marvellous invective that English is graced with thanks to our Celtic, Gaelic, Old Germanic, Latin, French, Viking and other invaders, not to mention the excellent contributions from just about every other language on the planet.

UK space comes to an 'understanding' with Australia as Brexit looms


Ahhh, yet another Brexit cluster****! More of our hard earned money pissed down the drain. But it's all worth it, really it is! Soon we will have Blue Passports and no more immigrants, and everything will be sunny and wonderful. Who needs economic growth and low inflation when we can have another nice recession and rampant inflation once 20% gets added to the price of nearly everything we import after the 29th March. Brexit? More like F***sit!!

Apple in XS new sensation: Latest iPhone carries XS-sive price tag


Bend over FanBoiz,...

Lube up, and prepare to receive 6.5" of Apples finest! It's gonna make your wallet wince!

Russian volcanoes fingered for Earth's largest mass extinction


Don't let FARTWIG see this, he will put even more sanctions on Russia for their past misdemeanours, and probably setup sanctions against Mexico for the Chicxulub impact.

If you drop a tablet in a forest of smartphones, will anyone hear it fall?



These days it seems that any market that is not experiencing double digit growth is an abject failure. I keep hearing people decrying the slowdown in cellphone sales, tablet sales, laptop sales, server sales, desktop sales, etc. yet these are ALL now Mature Markets. That means that if you want double digit growth you are going to have to get off your a**e and invest in some R&D to come up with the "Next Big Thing", and you might start out by finding out what people actually want in their lives, rather than having an idea and then convincing gullible people to want it.

Tablets are useful and convenient, but they most definitely are not a "have to have". I replaced my 4 year old Galaxy Note 10.1 last year with a Galaxy S2 9.7" and the increase in performance was negligible. I could have bought an S4 but I'm never gonna spend £800 on a tablet or phone. I leave that kind of expenditure to the gadget junkies and fashionistas.

Brain brainiacs figure out what turns folks into El Reg journos, readers



The glass is neither half full nor half empty, it is at 50% of maximum capacity.

All these people who spout the glass half full/empty crap are morons who take homeopathic sugar pills and believe that the moon landings were fake. Reality has repeatedly proven your beliefs wrong, but you persist in living in cloud cuckoo land with a gormless grin on your face. If it makes you happy to believe all that crap, then you go for it. If you try and ram it down my throat then you are gonna get exposed to a verbal thrashing that will make your tiny little brain shrivel and hide.

As for the experiments, if you electrocuted my brain while offering me fruit juice I'd also refuse all fruit juice for the enforceable future. I'd also be plotting your downfall!

Greybeard greebos do runner from care home to attend world's largest heavy metal fest Wacken


Care Homes had better get used to it

When I am finally sent to a care home, ain't no way in hell some carer/cop is gonna keep me away from my Thrash or Death Metal gigs. Mosh on old doodz!!

If you store your data, I tell you I'm your man: You flash some, lose some, all arrays to me


The Afterlife

Lemmy laughs in a low gravelly way and salutes your daftness between a tug on his fag and a swig of JD & Coke.

Brit mobile phone users want the Moon on a stick but then stay on same networks for aeons



I was with Voda for years (1997-2013) and only moved in the end because their coverage got worse and worse. When I complained they tried to sell me a microcell box to improve the coverage at home for £60, and when I asked for my PAC code I got 45 minutes of them desperately trying to offer me worse deals than just about every other network. In then end I said that they had 2 minutes to provide the PAC code or my next call would be to OFCOM and the press. That finally got me the PAC.

Have been with Tesco since, coverage (O2 network) is better than Voda, service is 1000% better (support team are excellent), and I'm paying a small fraction of what I used to. Shop around, it's easier than you think to move networks and there are some great deals out there.

'Moore's Revenge' is upon us and will make the world weird


Re: Mob-mentality

Many years ago, whilst somewhat inebriated, myself and a group of friends came up with a theory about intelligence. We postulated that intelligence is a function of the number of people in a group. We couldn't quite decide whether it was similar to resistors in parallel or a 1/n function (we were a large-ish group). Either way given that the average IQ is 100, the IQ of a full 20,000 seat football stadium is not even up to the IQ of an Amoeba. Personally I now believe that the IQ of groups simply falls to the level of the lowest IQ in the group (Lowest Common Denominator Theory). None of these bode well for the connected world, either now or in the future.

IPv6 growth is slowing and no one knows why. Let's see if El Reg can address what's going on


Why change?

If your company already has IPv4 internet facing addresses and is fully functional, why would you change? If you are a new company and setting up a new system, then IPv6 makes sense. So far as I can tell most of the tech needed to make them both coexist is in place and mostly working. Eventually most systems will become IPv6 but there will always be those that keep their IPv4.

It's much the same as in the WWW where almost all the desirable .com addresses are now gone, but other extensions have been added to increase the available options. Nobody has dropped their .com in favour of .biz and nobody will drop IPv4 in favour of IPv6 unless they have a reason to do so. So far as I can see there is no such reason.

Brexit has shafted the UK's space sector, lord warns science minister


Full steam ahead and damn the consequences

Oh Brexit will happen, and if the Old White Rich Men living overseas who own our government have their way it will be a hard Brexit. We are most definitely going to get to live in "interesting times".

Europe turns nose up at new smartphones: Beancounters predict 7% sales drop


The problem is that for years their business model and profits have been based on regular replacements of handsets, but the changes from one generation to the next are now negligible and only "necessary" if you are one of those people who just has to have the latest thing. Last year I could have afforded a £1000 top spec phone, but chose a £300 phone that does 95% of what the flagship phones do. I can live without cordless charging, waterproofing and stupid gimmicks like the animated turds. I don't want to stream video all day every day (THAT's how your son uses 100Gb data in 2 weeks!) and I certainly don't want to spend £30 per month any more for a service that is quite frankly poor on all of the UKs networks.

Wow, braking news: Overworked, tired ride-sharing drivers declared a public health risk


Self drive crash

I have just one question about the crash where the self drive Uber killed that poor woman. If the car had had a human driver, would she still have been hit? From what I saw of the video, probably. If we have to wait for "perfect" self-drive cars, they will never happen.

As for the "gig" economy,it suits a few people, but the majority are working 12-16 hours per day just to make ends meet. If they were employed that would be illegal and prosecutions would ensue.

El Reg needs you – to help build an automated beer-transporting robot



What you meant to say is beer goes in one end and comes out the other end as Bud Light. :D


Re: What's wrong with...

Cold beer? Weirdo :D



That is called a Barman or Barmaid or Waiter,.. or to copy from Richard Rawlings of Fast & Loud fame,... a Beer Assistant!. If you are too cheap to hire a Beer Assistant, make yer own damned robot. It'll never be as versatile as my Beer Assistant.

Fermi famously asked: 'Where is everybody?' Probably dead, says renewed Drake equation



We started emitting radio waves just over 100 years ago. Initially these were all low frequency that were mostly blocked/bounced by the Ionosphere. Nowadays we mostly use very high frequencies and whilst they go straight through the Ionosphere like it's not there, we use a tiny fraction of the power we used to use for many of these. Yes there are still many high power broadcasts but fewer and fewer as time passes. Eventually we will move on to everything being cabled/fibre except for local very low power (WiFi, Bluetooth) and eventually to Ansible comms or something similarly weird. So, I would imagine a lower limit of 100 years and an upper of maybe 500 years for the bubble thickness. It doesn't means the aliens died, they just stopped using broadcast high power transmissions in favour of something less polluting and more efficient. It could even be that once we discover the next comms revolution, the aliens are all there and willing to chat with the noobies from Sol3.

Boring. The phone business has lost the plot and Google is making it worse



I have an Honor 9 and it does pretty much everything I need in a phone and cost £300 sim-free. The USB-C is a massive improvement over micro-USB and a decent case/screen protector is enough protection unless you are a clumsy oaf who smashes phones every 6 months. The "new" feature I'd like to see cordless charging on all phones/tablets so I can just throw everything on a mat on my bedside table when I go to bed. I would also like a magnetic car phone holder that charges the phone cordlessly. If there was a desk one too, even the heaviest phone user would never run out of charge.

Bloke sues Microsoft: Give me $600m – or my copy of Windows 7 back



If your software uses .NET then MS will break that too with their Win10 Creators/Fall Creators updates that install .NET 4.7/4.7.1, and with Win10 you can no longer uninstall it and install 4.6.2, which worked perfectly. I use Win10 at home and it's OK, but in the business environment it is a cluster**** of monumental proportions. Even Vista was never this bad, probably because We have customers telling us that MS will ONLY sell them Win10 but until MS decide to stop ****ing about with .NET we can only recommend Win7 for use with our software. At least with Win7 we could block the .NET upgrades and keep them on 4.5.2. MS are shortly going to start losing customers hand over fist over this as we and I imagine many other software vendors are starting to develop for 'Nix due to the incessant problems with using Windows.

Hua-no-wei! NSA, FBI, CIA bosses put Chinese mobe makers on blast



So now the US Govt. is going to recommend that it's staff use good ole 'merkin Apple phones (that are made in China) or perhaps they should use Samsung/HTC,.... except they are South Korean and may have been hacked by the Norks. Wait,.... they can use Nokias and Blackberrys as they are Finnish/Canadian,...... but probably made in China,.... and Finland is very close to Russia. <LOL>

All this proves is that politicians are mostly brain-dead puppets that occasionally twitch when their owners are having a wafty crank. It's that old classic of the cheating husband accusing the wife of having an affair.


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