* Posts by Tikimon

541 posts • joined 3 Nov 2009

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Quebec takes mature approach to 'grilled cheese' ban

Tikimon
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Devil

In a general observation...

Whatever the topic, I dearly love to see self-important Guardians Of All That Is Genuine going apeshit trying to prevent changes to living systems from an arbitrary Point In Time. I imagine them on the beach, desperately shoring up the sand castle they built as the uncaring tide overtakes them. Be sure to swim with the current when that last tower falls!

I tell you Grog, words with more than one sound, they source of evil. One sound each word is good to say what you want. Cave of Barg's Clan make new words with two... sill ab buls they call them. Those words not pure, not True Clan, we no speak. We talk this way for all time!

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Falling apart at the seamless: Inside Apple's LTE Watch fiasco

Tikimon
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Devil

Re: Some pedantry:

"Idiots that don't understand that words have specific meaning have been normalised in business.

FTFThem

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Say Hello to my little friend: Nest blasts IoT world with doorbell, home security gear

Tikimon
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Devil

Re: ...nobody seems to care about the privacy aspect?...

It's GOOGLE. They make their living by violating our privacy in every way possible and selling the info they get. They care a lot about stripping that privacy completely away and monitoring our every move.

The stated goals are just a cover rationalization, like "terrorist" for repressive surveillance. Personalized search. Locks that recognize faces. Android OS. Whatever they say the reason or "benefits" are, the customer for whom the product is designed is Google.

Not us. We're just the sheep to be fleeced.

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AI slurps, learns millions of passwords to work out which ones you may use next

Tikimon
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Password changes, and trix for good ones

There IS a ray of sunshine! For me, anyway. Our security consultants (we can't be experts at everything) have finally come around to realizing that frequent changes REDUCE security. So we have stopped forcing password changes. Hang in there, mates.

The passphrase databases will have the most common quotes from movies and such. Swapping characters doesn't help anymore. So for the moment, I'm using the first two letters per word of direct quotes from movies... with a word or two wrong. Such as "These isn't the droids you're looking for!". That gives two levels of obfuscation - the quote is changed and the first-letters trick gives Thisthdryolofo! Hack that, eh?

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Pennsylvania cops deploy electronics sniffer dog to catch child abusers

Tikimon
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Devil

Countermeasures!

OK then, let's scatter about a selection of old flash cards, each infected with a different choice of the nastiest malware we can find. Go ahead, load that into your computer, Officer Jackboot. Ditto the grinding up a few and scattering the dust around the whole house and yard. It won't stop them, but it might temper their glee at finding hidden storage devices.

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Tikimon
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Re: Probable cause

"I wonder how they have manged to screen for the dog not to react to the handler's attitude or body language"

THEY DON'T. It's called "triggering", and the cops do it on purpose. They give the dog calls to get it worked up (GET IT GET IT GET IT!) it and guess what? The dog does what his handler wants of course, and gives a Hit response. Dog not finding drugs? Just trigger it and you can search anyway!

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Monkey selfie case settles for a quarter of future royalties

Tikimon
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Re: I fscking loathe PETA

People Eating Tasty Animals

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Kaspersky shrugs off government sales ban proposal

Tikimon
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Devil

Re: this Russia blaming

DISTRACTION! Pure and simple. The current US Gummint is under fire for all kinds of BS and this is an example of "Ignore that scandal, look over there! Evil Reds! Russian Apocalypse! Look there, while we all run for cover!"

I just stuck my neck out to defend Kaspersky at my company, and I'll be paying for the mobile app later today. The ONE honest tech company I l know of deserves my support.

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Massive iPhone X leak trashes Apple's 10th anniversary circus

Tikimon
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Re: Is "iPhone X" the actual name?

Granted that X is Roman numeral for 10 and anniversary, right. Apple is STILL late to the "X implies high-tech" party. Be honest, if you see anything named "Product X" these days, you sneer a little. If you're an Apple fan you might suddenly decide to give them a special pass, but it's still an old, tired naming convention and shrieking "tenth anniversary!!!" won't change that.

They could have done better.

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Networking vendors are good for free lunches, hopeless for networks

Tikimon
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FAIL

“The networking ecosystem is too fragile and slow, too hard for users to participate in"

So the users can't handle the existing networks, but are somehow going to design their own on the fly? How the bleep does that work?

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Couple fires sueball at Amazon over faulty solar eclipse-viewing goggles

Tikimon
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Halfway happened to us

We ordered a 12-pack of American Optics sun glasses (heh) from Amazon. They were in fact supposed to be Space.com branded with Bill Nye himself on them. hey, if you're gonna geek out, go to the max.

The seller actually sent us the crap shades. The only thing printed on them was MADE IN CHINA and a disclaimer about how they were not responsible for any damage. My point is that I carefully selected the correct product, but was sent a dangerous substitute. Eternal vigilance is required...

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Stephen King's scary movie reboot provokes tears from 'legit clowns'

Tikimon
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Devil

TIME TO RETRAIN

Professional clowns losing business due to clown fears? EXCELLENT! Nobody really likes them! The only reason everyone hires clowns is because... well, you're supposed to right? Clowns for kids? Even if they terrify the kids?

Momentum has carried clown parties far enough. Let 'em fade away already. Find a NEW CAREER!

Hey, the tech industry is perfect, hit 'em up.

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Tikimon
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..."they get fired a lot".

Out of cannons!

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Oldest flying 747 finally grounded, 47 years after first flight

Tikimon
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Re: Spinal Tap (inspired) Airways

The Goose could have done better than a 70-foot, 1-mile flight but was not allowed to. It was not supposed to fly at all the one time it did, it was only out for taxiing tests. Hughes lifted off for a short flight anyway. The Goose might have flown nicely, but we'll never know because they canceled the flight test program. The war was long over and the Goose design was no longer needed.

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Headless body found near topless beach: Missing private sub journalist identified

Tikimon
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Re: Evidence

WARNING GRIM STUFF HERE. According to one report, the body had been perforated in ways seemingly intended to let gases escape and not float later. Sharks just saw off chunks, they're not capable of deep penetrating injuries. The nature of the severed appendages won't match a shark bite either. Propeller cuts are hard to mistake for anything else and won't cleanly sever limbs anyway. In Florida we have plenty of manatees with prop scars on their backs and every limb intact.

Unless she stabbed herself to death and fell overboard to be dismembered by knife-wielding (until the lasers arrive) sharks, blood in the submarine is pretty strong evidence of murder.

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Tikimon
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Devil

Planned vs Impulse

He's not really an idiot for such a pathetic story, just very unprepared. He probably didn't plan a murder that day. He had to improvise in the chemical aftermath of physical violence and stress. Wrong state of mind for a crafty cover story, they always say something that comes back to haunt them later.

His biggest complication was having a corpse aboard and no way to get it discreetly ashore. Snug up to the dock and borrow a cart? Anchor offshore and float the body to shore from an attention-grabbing vessel? I'm pretty devious but I'd be hard pressed to get away clean from that scenario, even given time to soberly think about it.

I'm NOT defending a murdering asshole, but his clumsy cover story doesn't necessarily come from being stupid.

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Calm down, internet. Elon's Musk-see SpaceX spacesuit is a bit generic

Tikimon
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Angel

That helmet IS going to work.

Nah, this won't inhibit people one bit. Do you believe people will really pass up a flight into SPACE because they don't think the suit is sexy enough? Most prospective space visitors would wear a fuzzy Hello Kitty suit if it's required to fly. Faces aren't that important anyway. People take photos of all kinds of activities with fully-obscured faces..

Real world example. I motorcycle with full armor, as do my ride buddies. With smoked visors and sunglasses, no useful face can be seen. We take pictures among ourselves all the time! It's not about the face but where we are and what we're doing. We know who's in the armor.

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Tikimon
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Angel

As if English was ever standardiZed

O ye pedants, crying in defense of a canon that does not exist! There is not and has never been an accepted Standard English Spelling. Attempts to "reform" it are centuries-old and generally ignored. Bowing to this simple fact, many words have more than one accepted spelling. What you smugly call "Proper English" is itself a collection of older "proper" words that were bastardized and adapted for local conventions. All this was true long before Americans started making changes.

British English is not the pure and perfect creation you pretend it to be. Americanized English is just as valid. Vive la Difference! The point is to communicate, and they both work fine for that.

With that said, sharp agreement on spelling is a good idea for space launches and such!

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FYI: Web ad fraud looks really bad. Like, really, really bad. Bigly bad

Tikimon
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Static ads fell out of favor as soon as some dubious web technology allowed the ads to jump around and scream at the viewer. Hey, a flashing loud ad gets more attention, right? That they annoy the living shite out of everyone who see them is something the ad-slingers ignore.

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New MH370 analysis again suggests plane came down outside search area

Tikimon
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Re: Mayday

Thousands of tiny bright specks in the ocean will quickly attract the attention of krill and plankton feeders. They may die in the act, but I suspect they would vacuum those little guys right up.

On the other hand, this could revolutionize the fish-finder industry.

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Tikimon
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Trollface

Re: It will be found

Of course we'll keep looking! So they find some aluminum bits and claim success. It's certain to only be fake debris (from shredding other aircraft) scattered about for a search team to find. It's all part of the coverup! The blood conspiracy between Malaysia, China, the Illuminati, 4Chan, PETA, and Wikipedia must never be exposed!

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A glimpse of life under President Zuckerberg? Facebook CEO's boffins censor awkward Q&A

Tikimon
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People mainly notice such things by being told by others. I wonder if the censorship will extend to Faceborg posts about the incident?

That guy is a textbook sociopath.

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Ads regulator raps PC repair biz for massaging malware infection rates

Tikimon
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Devil

"1 out of 3 computers is infected by malware every single day"

They only manage to infect one of three computers they work on with malware? That's not much to brag about.

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The cheek of it! Beach bar owner shoots nude bather in the booty

Tikimon
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Devil

Re: i have to say the bloke was lucky

Rock-salt shotguns are SO last century. Trade up to a paintball gun! They don't penetrate but DO hurt like hell, and leave a nice round welt for a couple of weeks as a reminder. Being cheap and non-damaging you can send a rain of stinging projectiles to smite your interlopers.

Seriously, this is what they should arm security robots with. Totally non-lethal and HURTS.

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Google paying Apple BEEELLIONS to stay search top dog on iDevices, say analysts

Tikimon
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Re: No need for them to pay....

You sure those other search engines are really failing you? When I switched from Google to DuckDuckGo I was at first dismayed by how few results I got back compared to the pages of Google returns.Then I paid attention to what was actually IN the search results.

DuckDuckGo was giving me fewer, but more relevant search results. Google littered the result list with paid and partner-related information, badly diluting the actual hits that matched my search query. So I was scrolling through five pages of ADS (a paid search result is an advertisement, sorry) to find the same info I got in two pages from DDG. More hits do not mean Better. Your mileage will vary.

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HMS Queen Lizzie impugned by cheeky Scot's drone landing

Tikimon
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Devil

Citizen donates weapon to UK carrier, changes mind

In a fit of untrammeled pity for the British Navy, a concerned citizen attempted to donate his UAV. Although unarmed, it would have at least given the carrier the start of an air wing, and provided some much-needed recon ability to detect possible threats to run away from.

Then he realized, "Why am I giving a perfectly good drone to those wankers?" changed his mind, and flew it home again.

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Tikimon
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Re: Weaponised drones - 1950 or earlier

Wasps as weapons (but no central control) is found in Ray Bradbury's story "Ylla" published in 1950. It was one of the Martian Chronicles collection. A Martian woman in a loveless marriage daydreams about the humans coming to explore Mars. When they arrive, her jealous husband kills them with a gun that fires wasps.

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To truly stay anonymous online, make sure your writing is as dull as the dullest conference call you can imagine

Tikimon
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Re: I could careless

Yah, that should be "I couldn't care less" but as people got lazy saying it they totally reversed the meaning. There's a point when the words don't mean anything anymore, it becomes a Set Phrase with an encapsulated meaning.

Correction: Nobody here says "I could careless", they all get the separation of Care and Less correct.

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Did eye just do that? Microsoft brings gaze tracking to Windows 10

Tikimon
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Devil

Re: OMG!

"Their software is going to think my face looks like the sticky side of some black electrical tape."

You know the little peep-view picture cameras for kids? I'm going to replace the unicorns with pictures of Satan, a huge bloodshot eye, the goatse picture, and other interesting things. Then stick it over the camera on the laptop. Once in a while press the "shutter" and advance to the next picture. It's designed for zero-relief viewing so should be nice and sharp in the camera's view.

As far as the article subject, it's a brilliant idea for the disabled.

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Browser trust test: Would you let Chrome block ads? Or Firefox share and encrypt files?

Tikimon
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Facepalm

Nothing ever changes...

Long ago in the pre-WWW era of walled garden ISPs, I was an AOL user. Pages were often all-text due to the speed of modems back then. Then AOL decided to show little icons next to every item, so each page load downloaded ten new icons. In those days, that ate lots of time on a paid-per-hour connection. Pay to download stupid little images?

Enter ArtValve. It simply blocked the icons from downloading, saved money and made surfing bearable again. 20+ years later I'm blocking ads and scripts. Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose...

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New iPhone details leak: Yes, Apple is still chasing Samsung

Tikimon
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Devil

Re: Apple excels in iterative technical improvements, and marketing

"but Apple are iteratively building on what others did, but making it more usable*"

I beg to differ. Apple is leading the charge to obfuscate useful commands behind complex gestures and unlabeled icons. This becomes necessary as they remove the last physical means of controlling devices. One button was always too many for Jobs. Sorry fanbois, but "two finger swipe" and "two finger swipe left" is nothing more than Ctrl-Alt-F3 for touchscreens. Scrolling a document with one finger was well-established and intuitive, so going to "two finger swipe" is a step BACKWARD.

It's nothing new. Back when I was a rabid Apple fan, I envied the Windows users their ergonomic multi-button scrolling mice. My beautiful Apple design? One button in a carpal-tunnel inducing puck shape. Pretty is pointless if it's not functional.

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Pre-order your early-bird pre-sale product today! (Oh did we mention the shipping date has slipped AGAIN?)

Tikimon
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Angel

Kickstarter's not all bad...

I've funded two projects and got the products on time. You may wonder, what life-changing notions induced me to part with my hard-earned cash when they didn't actually exist yet? Pure silliness! Both projects also had attainable goals and a solid plan to get there.

First was The Gentleman's Single Use Monocle, "The world's first Disposable Single-Use Unlubricated Monocle, for the On-the-Go Gentleman." Yep, it's a sight gag item and was cheap.

I'm actually proud to have helped Kickstart the game "Exploding Kittens". Huge success and has spawned sequels and expansions. I figure I'm doing my part to make the world a stranger place.

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Tikimon
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Devil

Re: I want unicorns!

So, you're a virgin then? Pretty brave of you to let this crowd know!

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Astroboffins discover that half of the Milky Way's matter comes from other galaxies

Tikimon
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Devil

Re: Given that no matter to speak of ...

Don't overlook calling non-Latin speakers illiterate!

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Sensor-rich traffic info shows how far Silly Valley has to drive

Tikimon
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FAIL

"it's a pet peeve of mine. slowpokes and those who stop excessively long to "wave the other guy to take THEIR turn", i.e. self-righteous PRICKS, who don't give a rat's ass that they're an OBSTACLE to the rest of the world"

So you don't recognize yourself as a self-righteous prick, who doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone else on the road? Everyone should get out of your way, eh? Tell another one! It's called many things: being polite. Paying it forward (but you only pay being a dickhead forward). Altruism. Your "ME FIRST SCREW YOU" attitude is what makes traffic a nightmare in the first place.

It's an interesting case study to see someone enraged because others are helping each other out. What kind of asshat thinks people being nice to strangers makes them self-righteous pricks?

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Burglary in mind? Easy, just pwn the home alarm

Tikimon
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Re: This is California. In July.

The deterrent value of an alarm is overstated. The thieves know a simple fact - the cops will almost always show up too late to catch them. My old house in south Atlanta was broken into at least four times after an obvious alarm was installed. In each case they got in, grabbed the TV and computers, and were gone before the police arrived. ONE time the cops arrived to see the criminal walking toward the street. He bolted through the back yard instead and got away clean.

On the good side, the alarm kept their visit short. Otherwise they could have taken their time since we were at work and gone for hours.

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Eggheads identify the last animal that will survive on Earth until the Sun dies

Tikimon
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Headmaster

Here's how they are so tough

Something important they left out is HOW they survive nasty things. Tardigrades in daily life are just as vulnerable as any other aquatic invertebrate. However, they can dry out to around 3% water content, going into suspended animation. In this encysted state, they can withstand gamma rays, hard vacuum, and other conditions meaning certain death to other terrestrial organism. Just add water to rehydrate them and they start foraging.

So it's plausible that encysted tardigrades might be eroded or blasted off the dying Earth. Some might survive to reach other planets or star systems. Granted it's a long shot, but improbable does not mean impossible.

And by the way, they are about the coolest thing you'll ever see through a microscope. Check out some video if you've never seen them.

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€100 'typewriter' turns out to be €45,000 Enigma machine

Tikimon
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Thumb Up

Re: There is quite a bit of that floating around Eastern Europe

"You think I know fuck nothing, but I tell you I know fuck *all*"

THANK YOU for the priceless addition to my repertoire of self-mocking retorts! That's awesome!

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Uncle Sam says 'nyet' to Kaspersky amid fresh claims of Russian ties

Tikimon
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Facepalm

Step One: Ban. Step Two: Discredit.

First the Feds ban Kaspersky products from their systems. Now you have The Big Lie under way, and can claim the result as prior evidence. Look, the US Gummint banned Kaspersky, they must be evil Rooskie spies!

So when Kaspersky Labs later uncover the scaly claw of the NSA et. al. behind a malware campaign or similar onerous deed, they can point to this and claim it's Russian-sponsored misinformation.

Demonize someone enough and nobody will listen to or defend them. It's straight from the Josef Goebbels Propaganda Handbook.

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OMG, dad, you're so embarrassing! Are you P2P file sharing again?

Tikimon
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I'm cashing in my assumed-pirate fees

So all my life, every cassette tape, CD, DVD etc had an extra "levy" bolted on to their sales price. This presumed-guilty tax was supposedly to help pay for the nefarious effects of them being used for unauthorized recording. We've all been paying extra for media that we didn't actually get.

They want to assume I'm a criminal and proactively fine me for it. Okay, I'm going to get something for the price I've paid. Shame to waste my money.

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Tikimon
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Re: Youtube

YouTube is free AND bookmarked by intrusive ads, and possibly interrupted mid-stream to inject another one. Good enough reason?

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Tikimon
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Re: Who's of thunk it

Nothing special about that. I often pay escorts to download music and movies. It's a win all around.

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Oracle CEO Mark Hurd scoops up $17.4m from 350,000 share sales

Tikimon
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Re: WTF?

A private bath per bedroom for occupants and house guests, plus a couple more for visitors' use to let the residents keep theirs private. It does allow the Loo O' The Day trick though.

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Zero accidents, all of your data – what The Reg learnt at Bosch's autonomous car bash

Tikimon
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Re: Nut Bush City Limits.

Actually, you never "drop it on purpose". That's a dangerous myth. A motorcycle sliding on its side stops slower and farther than one on its wheels using the brakes. "I laid it down to avoid a crash" is wrong, that's low-siding INTO a crash.

An upright braking bike may still hit something, but the sliding bike will hit harder. Upright and brakes on FTW.

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Male escort says he gave up IT to do something more meaningful

Tikimon
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Facepalm

Re: i did this when i was younger

"Lets be honest, if you were chatting up desperate middle age women its because you couldn't pull the ones nearer your own age, and/or you had an Oedipus thing going on."

Let's be honest, you have no idea what you're talking about. Only desperate women are chasing younger guys, and only desperate men would pursue an older woman? Just what insurmountable problem does an age difference cause? A billion or so MILF fans also disagree with you.

I had a fling with an older woman or two when I was younger. I was dating around my age with no problem. These were attractive women with enough experience to be smoking hot in bed. Beats a self-entitled, inexperienced 20-something any day. I also once dated a woman who preferred men 15+ years older than her because she was tired of shallow young guys. Age means nothing if you're taking reasonable care of your body.

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Kaspersky repeats offer: America can see my source code

Tikimon
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Facepalm

First, destroy the honest ones

Destroy the honest ones who won't play along with invasive government spooks. Then there will only be left "compliant" companies like Microsoft and Google and Verizon - the ones that roll over and give the government front-door access straight from the source.

This isn't about Kaspersky being Russian. This is a move to discredit and remove a large and painful thorn in the side of US surveillance. The anti-Rooskie spin is just cover.

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Kaspersky Lab US staff grilled by Feds in nighttime swoop

Tikimon
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Devil

Re: Kapersky has done more to stop computer security threats...

"The FBI want them to stop it- it's affecting the NSA's work."

Bullseye. Kaspersky is exactly what the FBI et al do not want to have to deal with. An effective security company that is honest, can't be bought or threatened out of their ethical standards. One that freely exposes the tentacles of government malware and other attacks. So of course they must be stopped. The US gummint lacks the authority to directly shut them down, so they try to destroy their reputation instead.

You know what? If the Feds and Friends are trying that hard to attack Kaspersky Labs, I can't think of a a more glowing recommendation.

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Murderous Uber driver 'attacked passenger and the app biz did nothing. Then he raped me'

Tikimon
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Facepalm

I say we nuke the company from orbit

It's the only way to be sure. The company culture is far too ingrained at this point to ever be cleaned up. They might push a lot of it back into the shadows so it's less overt, but real change? I wouldn't take that bet.

Lyft and others will happily fill the void left by Uber.

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50th anniversary of the ATM opens debate about mobile payments

Tikimon
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Headmaster

ATM = Automated Teller Machine

I always cringe when I hear people refer to "the ATM machine."

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