Live! from your keyboard - your reputation
Um, wow. When the BDFL (retired) is minded to point to the code of conduct and also remind everyone that maillists are public information...? It has obviously been rough riding herd on a federation of (some) foul tempers?
Two things to note here.
No misogyny, misandry, racism, classism, or other -isms were employed in the making of this debacle. Just people being much much less than ideal. Thus this is a good (?) example to point to, that there are way too many people out there who simply don't know how to play well together. Quit trying to out-Godwin each other, everybody loses.
From the nature of the interactions, you have the chance to be a much *nicer*, more *intelligent* person in print than in real life. When you forget one person's name in real life you've lost one future friend. When you forget your humanity on the web, you've lost your career.