* Posts by Roger Varley

232 posts • joined 17 May 2007

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Look! Over there! Intel's cooked a 17-qubit chip quantum package

Roger Varley

Re: Zen

If you have to ask, you can't afford it

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Sysadmin tells user CSI-style password guessing never w– wait WTF?! It's 'PASSWORD1'!

Roger Varley

I would add to that list;

The Tea Ladies

The Canteen Staff

(back in the days when they existed)

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SpaceX releases Pythonesque video of rocket failures

Roger Varley

Derek Lowe has written a whole series of similair articles over the years. Try googling for "Things I Wont Work With" for others.

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Yet more British military drones crash, this time into the Irish Sea

Roger Varley

Reliability

I'd bet that if they put one of those on permanent station above the home of the Thales CEO, the reliability issues would be resolved fairly quickly.

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Connect at mine free Wi-Fi! I would knew what I is do! I is cafe boss!

Roger Varley

Re: Bah!

Aaarrgggh! Thank you very much for the assorted earworms. Thank $DEITY it's almost pub o'clock here.

(+1 for the Lindisfarne reference though ... happier times at the City Hall)

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Bombastic boss gave insane instructions to sensible sysadmin, with client on speakerphone

Roger Varley

"Reminds me of the time I sat in a meeting with the biggest dickhead in the world from sales"

Sorry, you couldn't have. He works here.

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US cops point at cell towers and say: Give us every phone number that's touched that mast

Roger Varley

Re: @corestore

So morale of the storey is that if you are out and about for some nefarious purpose (like armed robbery), don't take your mobile phone with you. Or, better still, take someone elses.

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FYI: Web ad fraud looks really bad. Like, really, really bad. Bigly bad

Roger Varley

Re: Other side of the coin.

"In most cases the advertisers had no idea that their ads were being served on sites that they, or their customers, found offensive.

On-line advertising looks like house of cards, and I suspect the whole thing will just collapse one day."

As Nectar are in the process of discovering.

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Ads regulator raps PC repair biz for massaging malware infection rates

Roger Varley

Re: I checked Google Maps

Not neccessarily. Here in Cyprus it is not uncommon to find offices, doctors surgeries, dentists etc etc in what look like residential houses or blocks of flats. However, it's the number of different references to that address that make it look dodgy

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Roger Varley

Google is your friend here ...

Googling on the Cyprus address Athinodorou 3; Dasoupoli - it's quite interesting the number of times and different places that address turns up in.

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The ultimate full English breakfast – have your SAY

Roger Varley

Re: To taste

Breakfast off a slate? There's worse. Much worse. (Cite: http://wewantplates.com/)

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Zero accidents, all of your data – what The Reg learnt at Bosch's autonomous car bash

Roger Varley

Re: Nut Bush City Limits.

"Honda, the makers of soulless machinery, are trying to: http://www.roadandtrack.com/new-cars/car-technology/news/a32162/honda-just-invented-a-self-balancing-motorcycle-that-never-falls-over/"

While, initially, that may seem to reduce by 1 the number of the numerous ways you can die on a motorcycle, I suspect that in fact, it may increase the number of ways to die. If it never falls over, presumably, you can't drop it on purpose when you need to?

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Sysadmin bloodied by icicle that overheated airport data centre

Roger Varley

"AS400 in there (which fortunately stayed up .... "

You needed something a damn sight more dramatic than a hot server room to bring down one of those babies ....

16
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Canadian sniper makes kill shot at distance of 3.5 KILOMETRES

Roger Varley

Re: 29" barrel

"one then has to ask how they got the battleship up there in the first place"

A very long run-up?

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'Major incident' at Capita data centre: Multiple services still knackered

Roger Varley

Re: Probably got their own staff to install the back up generators

"Not taking any bets, but regular testing of diesel generators need to be done."

But they did. They sub-contracted the testing to Atos who declared them "fit to work" ......

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Microsoft court victory prompts call for data-grabbing regime

Roger Varley

There is one helleuva difference between "the public interest" and what "the public are interested in". Media organisations consistantly cite the former while providing the latter.

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Man nicked trying to 'save' beer from burning building

Roger Varley

Is it allowed ....

... to use the phrase "Bud Ice Premium" in the same sentence as "beer"/

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Facebook, Google, etc: Yeah, yeah, we'll work on the nasty stuff about bombs – but we ain't doing no backdoors

Roger Varley

Re: "The issue is complicated by the fact

Maybe we could actually use the ad-networks for something useful here. Instead of trying to break encryption to find the bad guys, instead look for who is being served ads for Semtex alternatives

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Why Theresa May’s hard Brexit might be softer than you think

Roger Varley

Re: 2 years?

>some relatively small further fraction comes back in the form of EU spending in the UK. But we have >almost no control over how this will increase in future or what the EU chooses to spend it on.

Apart from disputing the use of the phrase "small fraction", I am not so sure that the fact that the EU decides what it is spent on is such a bad idea. A Tory government is going to favour spending it in the Tory heartlands, that's where the votes are, similairly, a Labour government would favour the Labour heartlands. At least the EU decides on economic and social grounds rather than political ones.

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Landmark EU ruling: Legality of UK's Investigatory Powers Act challenged

Roger Varley

Re: But I thought we "took back control"

>> I wonder what people who voted leave think of the snooper's charter anyway?

that it's a piece of paper owned by a dancing beagle?

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Ghost of DEC Alpha is why Windows is rubbish at file compression

Roger Varley

Re: So why not create a new v2 compression scheme?

and not to forget the eye watering cost of hard drives in those days as well

10
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British trio win Nobel prize for physics

Roger Varley

Re: So it's like the . . . .

I would also start running if I were you ...

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One-way Martian ticket: Pick passengers for Musk's first Mars pioneer squad

Roger Varley

Throw them both out?

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Roger Varley

Not fair on the rest.

If I were on that trip, anyone on the poll list would be out of the airlock before we passed Moon orbit!

17
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Italian scientists use fluorescent box to arouse sexually indifferent men

Roger Varley

"that can lead to its own problems, with older blokes putting themselves at risk of heart problems the more sex they have – particularly if they enjoy it in old age"

There are worse ways to go.

13
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Apple's tax bill: Big in Japan. Like, $120m big

Roger Varley

Re: Scapegoats

"If that doesn't make your blood boil from either a moral or an ethical standpoint, then you've totally lost me."

Sorry, but it is a simple binary choice.

Apple et al are either breaking the law (tax evasion) or they are not (tax avoidance). If they are breaking the law then the relevant authorities should be prosecuting and someone should be going to prison.

If they are not breaking the law, then the relevant authorities should either change the law or if not, should say why they are not changing the law and then shut up about it.

No court is going to convict if the law is not being broken. The current furore over moral or ethical implications is simply a smoke and mirror exercise to distract attention from the fact that governments have no intention of adjusting the current tax laws. The reasons for this are left as an exercise for the reader.

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Dwarf planet Ceres has a watery secret: An 11 mile wide ice volcano

Roger Varley

Re: Salty Ice

I can't help feeling I chose the wrong career. Beating hardware into submission does pall after a while

2
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UK gov says new Home Sec will have powers to ban end-to-end encryption

Roger Varley

A Proposal

You aren't going to defeat this by arguing technical impossibility. If the last month has taught us anything then it's that politicians and facts are mutually incompatible, and that the British Public has "had enough of experts".

We need a Daily Wail style campaign based on nothing more than vague hints and hand waving to suggest that not having encryption will cause really, really bad things to happen. The more outrageous the claim, the better. And then, we all need to spread the message amongst the witless and gullible as often and as loudly as we can.

What could possibly go wrong?

26
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'I am not a lizard' Zuckerberg proclaims in public Q&A

Roger Varley

He's not a lizard,

he's just a very naughty ..... oh, never mind.

2
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Bloke flogs $40 B&W printer on Craigslist, gets $12,000 legal bill

Roger Varley

"Be honest, in how many wars have the US won on their own, NONE !"

Oh come on, be fair. They did manage an away win in Grenada.

2
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'Massive great big' vulture goes AWOL in Somerset

Roger Varley

Re: Optimism required

+1 for the Viv Stanshall reference, I haven't listened to Sir Henry at Rawlinsons End in absolute yonks.

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Roger Varley

Optimism required

"The white-headed vulture - Trigonoceps occipitalis - is native to sub-Saharan Africa and under threat of extinction in the wild."

We'll just have to hope that the local swivel-eyed loons are more intelligent than the swivel-eyed loons around here, otherwise the damn thing will be going extinct in the West Country too.

2
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Electric Babel Fish swims into crowdfunding

Roger Varley

Re: Have to

Is it just me, but every time, I read anything from HHGTTG, I hear Peter Jones voice in my head?

5
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Politician claims porn tabs a malware experiment, then finds God

Roger Varley

Re: Wrong shaming

T'Opus Dei - ee, tha wor lucky! When I were t'lad ........

etc etc

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Apple pulled 2,204lbs of gold out of old tech gear

Roger Varley

"I remember reading about a manufacturing technology that helped recycling. Casings were made out a material with a heat triggered shape-memory; bake it a bit and the case changes shape and the whole thing simply falls to bits."

MFI (for those of you old enough to remember them) perfected this techique decades ago, with the added bonus, that you didn't need to bake them first.

1
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Water treatment plant hacked, chemical mix changed for tap supplies

Roger Varley

Re: The.. just.. I don't even

Any takers for a bet on whether they were for QSECOFR or not?

2
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Computers shouldn't smoke. Cigarettes aren't healthy for anyone

Roger Varley

Re: I've told this story before (sorry)

I could certainly believe it to be true. I used to reckon that the only way to stop one of those muthas would be to open one of the side panels and chuck a hand grenade inside, and I'm not entirely convinced that that would even kill it.

I loved those machines.

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Essex cop abused police IT systems to snoop on his in-laws

Roger Varley

Re: Like discipline but different

"We take breaches of professional standards extremely seriously..."

You might do now that someone has been caught, but you obviously didn't give a fuck in 2010 or 2011

2
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Computers abort SpaceX Falcon 9 launch

Roger Varley

Re: No more holds for boats downrange

According to some reports I have read, the boat in question belonged to the US Navy. The US Navy tend to take a dim view of people launching rockets in their direction, and would be seriously miffed if it actually hit them.

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NASA boffin wants FRIKKIN LASERS to propel lightsails

Roger Varley

Hmmm, you know, "The Drop Bear Drive" just seems to be a little lacking in the pizazz department. You just have to imagine how it would sound in a conversation between Scottie and Kirk to decide if the name would work or not.

0
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Become an Andre Previn in your time: DevOps for star conductors

Roger Varley

Nice One

+1 for the aged Morcambe & Wise reference

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Plane food sees pilot grounded by explosive undercarriage

Roger Varley

Re: Is there anyone on board that can fly a plane?

It would be OK, if the response was a loud "Hooaah" and a couple of Chuck Norriss look-a-likes confidently step forward. I think I would find it a tad demoralising if the request was met with a deafening silence.

4
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The Register's entirely serious New Year's resolutions for 2016

Roger Varley

Re: Evidence based criticism

There was some talk last year about a re-design of the mobile site being underway. However, I fear that the task has been sub contracted to the same guy who is dealing with LOHANs FAA application.

3
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Coffee fixes the damage booze did to your liver, study finds

Roger Varley

Re: How long before...

I think you are confusing the phenomenon with the start/end of a research grant cycle.

2
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Roger Varley

Re: "Ledswinger's Drinker's Friend"

You sir, owe me a new keyboard. My current one is now soaked with a sinus load of warm brown that made a rapid exit through my nasal passages on reading the above!

Mind you, LDF Crunch may sound interesting after a night on the town.

4
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Roger Varley

"Ledswinger's Drinker's Friend"

Just thinking about that makes me feel ill!

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GCHQ director blasts free market, says UK must be 'sovereign cryptographic nation'

Roger Varley

>>People and business in the UK should use encryption to protect themselves."

>>"information needed for national security and serious crime purposes should not be beyond the >>lawful, warranted reach of the state"

> These two statements are mutually contradictory. We could call it the doublespeak paradox.

I don't think that they are. I would have no issue with lawful, warranted access. All we need to agree on now is who is going to issue the warrant, (Hint: It's not politicians)

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In-a-spin Home Sec: 'We won't be rifling through people's web history'

Roger Varley

Re: Kite flying

Not necessarily, they've always got the the choice of a minor tweak via the 2016 IPB Amendment Act, followed by another tweak via the 2017 IPB Amendment Act etc etc

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No, seriously, NASA will fly a probe through Saturn's moon plumes

Roger Varley

Can you imagine the lather the Daily Mail would work itself into at the prospect of illegal extra terrestial immigrants?

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Nippy, palaver and cockwomble: Greatest words in English?

Roger Varley

Re: Insults

I remember that one as - "a couple of stops short of Dagenham".

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