* Posts by Colin Wilson 2

133 posts • joined 26 Oct 2009


iPhone price cuts are coming, teases Apple CEO. *Bring-bring* Hello, Apple UK? It's El Reg. You free to chat?

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Moto G first Gen

" ... so what's the latest greatest new thing?"

The newest iPhones have amazing facial mapping capability. They use it for Face Id, but it can be used in any apps that need to recognise faces.

They also have amazing 'Augmented Reality' features builit into their custom processors.

Combining these two amzaing new technologies gives us 'Animojis'. So you can create a cartoon turd that talks, smiles, blinks and winks when you do.

And now, with the latest version of iOS it can even stick its tongue out!

** Sigh! **

Apple: Trust us, we've patented parts of Swift, and thus chunks of other programming languages, for your own good

Colin Wilson 2

Patenting the P-System?

I really like Swift - it's overtaken Delphi as my Favourite Language™

But it does sound awfully like they're trying to patent the UCSD P System (!)

Sprint subscribers: What do your updated iPhone and Tonga have in common? Both are cut off from the world

Colin Wilson 2
Thumb Up

"Asked whether the issue was a consequence of Apple's patch or a Sprint misconfiguration, Sprint's spokesperson replied, "It was a Sprint update."

How refreshing to have a company admit their mistake - Kudos to the spokesperson

Q. China just landed on its far side, the US woz there 50 years ago – now Europe wants to mine it? A. It's the Moon

Colin Wilson 2

Re: a partner in global exploration

" a partner in global exploration"

He didn't say 'Terrestial Global' - he just said Global. So maybe he meant the Lunar Globe?

Apple hardware priced so high that no one wants to buy it? It's 1983 all over again

Colin Wilson 2


Back in the day I got sent on a Lisa software development course/conference - in Bolton (UK) of all places.

I can't remember if it was an official 'WWDC' thing - but various Apple bigwigs were there - including John Sculley I seem to recall.

Software for it - including much of the operating system - was written in a dialect of Object Pascal. I felt that the GUI, Mouse etc. were all a bit clunky, slow and 'pointless'. The thing that amazed me at the time was the ProFile 'Winchester' hard disk - 5Mb seemed almost infinte at the time!

Google-whisperers beat reCaptcha voice challenge with 90% success rate

Colin Wilson 2

Re: idiots like this

"Mean while, they could at least make the dam images interesting."

Something like Kitten War? Match the three cutest kittens to proceed. I should patent that!

Is Google purposefully breaking Microsoft, Apple browsers on its websites? Some insiders are confident it is

Colin Wilson 2

Re: "OS/2 did run Windows 3 quite successfully"

Kind of. The original Delphi used a Thunk table to find the object instatnce for a Window. Later versoins used/use the regular GetProp/SetProp Windows APIs for this

I'm guessing they used a Thunk table because much of Delphi was inherited from Borland Pascal - which had a pre-Windows API window library - OWL - which also used Thunks.

The Thunk tables were very architecure dependant, and didn't work too well with Warp...

Forget your deepest, darkest secrets, smart speakers will soon listen for sniffles and farts too

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Google failed me...

"They are the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers." ... and Fat Freddy's Cat.

"Wait until he puts on his stereo headphones!"

Nikola Tesla's greatest challenge: He could measure electricity but not stupidity

Colin Wilson 2

"Alas, the Tesla museum ran out of funds and shut down in the late 90's/early 2000's. It has since been refitted and reopened, but I don't know if they still have the same demonstrations as I saw"

I visited it last December. They still had those demonstrations - including the Light Sabre flourescent tubes.

Well worth a visit

Tumblr turns stumblr, left humblr: Blogging biz blogs bloggers' private info to world+dog

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Give it to me straight.

"J.R.Hartley - assume the position."

... Rod in hand!

SpaceX touches down in California as Voyager 2 spies interstellar space

Colin Wilson 2

Nominally ??

"the Falcon 9 performed nominally"

This always slightly irritates me. Why do these Space types always say 'nominally' when they mean 'as intended' or even 'normally''?

Nominally: adverb

1. by or as regards name; in name; ostensibly:

"He was nominally the leader, but others actually ran the organization."

Developer goes rogue, shoots four colleagues at ERP code maker

Colin Wilson 2

Re: M biggest worry on a long visit to head office in Texss...

"1- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Motor_vehicle_fatality_rate_in_U.S._by_year"

Matbe Americans should learn to drive too



You know all those movies you bought from Apple? Um, well, think different: You didn't

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Legalised theft

"What it doesn't mean is that WontGoAllTheWay Records will then visit every record shop in the country, remove all unsold records, and then visit every house and remove every SOLD record too.

Yet that is exactly what is happening here."

To be fair to Apple (gulp!) it's not exactly what's happening here.

If you buy a movie from ITunes and download it, the downloaded copy is linked to your Apple Id - so you can play it as long as Apple still exist, and you remember your Apple Id password. The Studio - or WontGoAllTheWay can't do anything to 'revoke' your already downloaded copy.

♫ The Core i9 clock cycles go up. Who cares where they come down?

Colin Wilson 2

Re: unless I am wrong

Yes - you're wrong.

The 512GB (and up) 15" macbook Pros come as standard with the core i7 processor.

You only get the core i9 one if you specifically specify it as a build-to-order option

UK footie fans furious as Sky Broadband goes TITSUP: Total inability to stream unfair penalties

Colin Wilson 2
Paris Hilton

Re: and the England Game ?

Not sure that I should admit to knowing this, but 'Love Island' started just as the final whistle in the England vs Tunisia game sounded.

So it was possible to watch both - er, allegedly

USA! USA! We're No.1! And we want to keep it that way – in spaaaace

Colin Wilson 2


"NASAs biggest problem is Congress"

If JFK hadn't been assassinated, I wonder if Apollo would have cancelled before they got to the moon at all - maybe after the Apollo 1 fire.

But once he'd been killed, no one in Congress dared to besmirch his legacy by shutting down his pet project..

Maybe an unintended consequence of that dreadful day was to result in a giant leap for mankind.

Can't log into your TSB account? Well, it's your own fault for trying

Colin Wilson 2

".... I managed to catch Dumbo all the way through"

Avoid the scene where his Mother's locked in a cage with a sign saying "mad Elephant" - at least if anyone's around.

Worse than th 'Daddy! My Daddy!" bit at the end of the Railway Children...

Apple's QWERTY gets dirty leaving fanbois shirty

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Fit for purpose

(i.e. you didn't ... drop food into it)

There's the rub. How much food is reasonable.

Ok - if you use it as a plate for your spaghetti bolognaise, you deserve to have it fail. But it would be reasonable to expect it to be resistant to a single biscuit crumb

Colin Wilson 2

I quite like the keyboard...

I quite like the keyboard on my 2016 MBP. It's positive and fast to type on, with good audible feeback (aka it's too clicky!)

But I'm wating with bated breath for it to fail. Probably the day after my Applecare expires.

Super Cali upstart's new rocket test approaches, even though the size of it won't launch a Tesla motor

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Headline

"One of your best yet."

... except it doesn't quite scan, and doesn't quite rhyme(!)

"Super Cali upstart's shiny rocket test approaches..." would have fixed the first one.

What's silent but violent and costs $250m? Yes, it's Lockheed Martin's super-quiet, supersonic X-plane for NASA

Colin Wilson 2

New Macbook Pro?

Happy as Larry: Why Oracle won the Google Java Android case

Colin Wilson 2

Re: "Get a licence or build something new. It's really that simple."

"Apple went their own way (or course) and inflicted the abomination that is Objective-c upon us poor developers."

At least they've redeemed themselves by giving us the delectable Swift

Uni IT man stole £22k of Macs to pay for smack

Colin Wilson 2

A SmacBook pro?

Half the world warned 'Chinese space station will fall on you'

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Does Tiangong-1 contain Chinese steel or aluminum?

> "And I did not even bother with all the extra fluff in "cousins" or "version"

"Version"' is probably not a great example. I'm sure the late Brian Sewell would have pronounced it correctly

IT peeps, be warned: You'll soon be a museum exhibit

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Back in the day

" we only had 3 or 4 channels on the TV, and if we wanted to change between them we had to get up and push a button."

Ah - a youngster then!. We only had two channels. If we wanted to change between them we had to get up and turn a bakerlite knob to one of the two positions.

We also had to get up and thump the side of the thing sometimes - to stop it scrolling

You're decorating it wrong: Apple HomePod gives wood ring of death

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Oh great

"Apparently that distorts the bass from the pod and makes it sound bad"

That's what the BBC said - but I call BS. If the speaker had metal spikes as 'feet' then maybe. But seeing as it has a squishy silicone ring it's not going to be relying on that to transmit the bass.

Back to songs with Ring in them, lets go back to the seventies with

- Ring my bell - Anita Ward

- Telephone Man - Meri Wilson. Ok there's no Ring in the title, but plenty in the lyrics and it's long overdue for a revival!

The UK's super duper 1,000mph car is being tested in Cornwall

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Cool, but why?

According to their website the maximum rotational speed at 1050mph is 10304 r.p.m

The wheels have a diamter of 900mm, so my fag-packet maths seems to support this:

1050mph = 469m/s = 166 revs/sec = 9960 r.p.m

Still bloody quick though!

Top of the radio charts: Jodrell Bank goes for UNESCO World Heritage status

Colin Wilson 2

Re: what is Unesco?

"An example of the status they have, is for instance. that say McDonald's is not allowed to hang their name on the Statue of Liberty."

... and the BBC won't be able to film Doctor Who at Jodrell Bank ?

Set your alarms for 2.40am UTC – so you can watch Unix time hit 1,500,000,000

Colin Wilson 2


... and to think that Jesus was alive less than 40 of my lifetimes ago

And my Grandad was born in 1888 - he was 11 when Johann Strauss II died- makes me feel practically Victorian myself.

Strange stuff, time!

Li-ion king Goodenough creates battery he says really is... good enough

Colin Wilson 2

Re: He does look a bit like

I was thinking more Stanley Unwin

Glass Electrolipoles any one?

Apple Watch exec Bob Mansfield 'gets into secret Apple car'

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Wait, stop press...

> How does SteveJobs pronounce it?

He rhymes it with Smeg

Logging on to United's frequent flyer site might take longer than a flight

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Kill all the security questions now

> As for my school, I use one that never existed ( and no it is not Hogwarts)

St. Custards?

Swiss try to wind up Apple with $25k dumb-watch

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Acceptable Levels of Accuracy?

> Sounds like you want a radio controlled, clear dialled watch, and that's a grand.

... or £350 for an Apple Watch. (gd&r!)

Here's a thing about their accuracy...


RFID wants to TRACK my TODGER, so I am going to CUT it OFF

Colin Wilson 2
Black Helicopters

> So long distance reading of the eye is a long way off.

Hmm - anyone know what those weird roundy-roundy lights do at passport control at Gatwick then?

That EVIL TEXT that will CRASH your iPhone: We pop the hood

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Exception handling??

Ok here's the clue:

>> Exception Type: EXC_BAD_ACCESS (SIGSEGV)

An unhandled exception! Any reasonable modern language would convert this OS exception to an exception that it can handle - the same way as it would handle any other natively thrown exceptions.

As far as the ApplyGlyphFeatureTags function goes - the original programmer *should* have tested the pointer better - rather than just comparing it to nil. In the old days on Windows we used to use IsBadReadPtr to do this - but that's now seriously deprecated, and according to MSDN you're meant to use structured exception handling instead.

In this case, handling the exception simply by logging it, and applying some default glyph feature tag sounds like a reasonable approach.

>> If you think this problem has anything to do with exception handling, then you really, really don't know what you are talking about.


Colin Wilson 2

Exception handling??

Isn't it about time Apple introduced proper structured exception handling in Objective-C and Swift and did away with all that ridiculous 'NSError' nonsense?

Evil Wi-Fi kills iPhones, iPods in range – 'No iOS Zone' SSL bug revealed

Colin Wilson 2

Even worse - there's a 'free' wifi at Gatwick Airport that forces you to download a weird e-book reader app before you can use the wifi. Heaven alone knows what it tries to do - I didn't dare run it to find out.

Revealed: The AMAZING technology behind Apple's $1299 Retina MacBooks – a lot of glue

Colin Wilson 2

Re: "Sir Jony's juice"

> The new 12" MacBook is not on the list.

Yes it is - £159 (!)


Apple's Tim Cook and Salesforce's Marc Benioff DECLARE WAR on anti-gay Indiana

Colin Wilson 2

Re: What next in the name of religious freedoms?

>> What if I'm asked to make a cake to honour everything Thatcher did, I could be prosecuted? How about one celbrating Blair's descision to go to war in Iraq?

No worries - go ahead and refuse.

The law prohibits discrimination based on religion and gender. Not on political views (yet!)

Google casts about for wireless audio

Colin Wilson 2

Re: "Apple, notably, isn’t doing similar things".

>> AirPlay uses bluetooth, and so is much less complicated/capable.


This is The Register - not Stack Exchange - you can't just make up random 'facts' here:)

Be real, Apple: In-app goodie grab games AREN'T FREE – EU

Colin Wilson 2


Get (n) A child born out of wedlock

Get (n) A foolish or contemptible person

They're calling us bastards now!

Hide your Macs, iPhones and iPads: WireLurker nasty 'heralds new era'

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Ah but......

>> Enterprises are at liberty to install iPhone apps from an OS X computer...

As far as I know, to do this they have to install a provisioning profile on the iPhone - that's signed by an enterprise certificate backed by an Apple provisioning root CA (so no just some self-signed thing). The provisioning profile lets the iPhone run the application that's signed by the developer's certificate backed again by an Apple root CA.

It would be interesting to know if these virus writers have found a way round all that - some Apple bug in iOS or iTunes; or if they've set up a rogue enterprise, had it approved by Apple, and somehow persuaded the users to install their provisioning profile.

Google Maps community competition falls foul of Indian regulations

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Secret?

It's not just former communist countries either.

I used to live near Heathrow when they were building Terminal 5. Lots of Photography Forbidden signs aruond the construction there too.

Including, rather bizzarely, on a green field the other side of the M25 from the rest of the airport. Only the sturdy fence and the signs gave any clue that there was Something There!.

BT at last coughs to 'major outage' after broadband went titsup across UK on Sat

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Hardly noticed

>> Email worked, all the forums I use regularly worked, the load of crap my daughter looks at, didn't work

Which is quite interesting in itself. Facebook, Twitter, Apple etc. all failed to work. But BBC News etc. carried on working fine. Very spooky! What are they preparing for?

REVEALED: Reg trails claw along Apple's 'austerity' 21.5-inch iMac

Colin Wilson 2

Re: Everyday performance

It looks like it may be a good option if you want to develop software for Apple things - should be plenty powerful enough to run XCode.

Of course you could get a Mac Mini for £499 - but that has no screen, keyboard or mouse, worse graphics and only comes with 4GB RAM

Daddy, what will you do in the new security wars?

Colin Wilson 2

We need to attack this from the other end too:

* Operating systems shouldn't be able to run unsigned software - ever.

* Compiler vendors should provide provide the tools for programmers - whether coporate or a guy in his bedroom - to sign software backed by a certificate that identifies them, and with a proper, trusted certificate chain - no self-signed rubbish.

* Certificate revocation lists should be enforced as strictly as is practicable.

* Sandboxing should be made to work properly, stricly enforced, but remain flexible enough to enable programs to do what they need - as long as they've been given explicit permission by the end users

Protecting code's secrets wins ACM prize

Colin Wilson 2

That C's so complicated

Try Pascal instead - it reads like a book:

program xmas;


function t_ (t, _ : Integer; a : PChar) : Integer;


if 1<t then begin if t<3 then t_(-79,-13,a+t_(-87,1-_,t_(-86,0,a+1)+a)

); if t<_ then t_(t+1,_,a); if (t_(-94,-27+t,a)<>0) and (t=2) then if _<

13 then result:=t_(2,_+1,'%s %d %d'#13) else result:=9 else result:=16 end

else if t<0 then if t<-72 then result:=t_(_,t,'@n''+,#''/*{}w+/w#cdnr/+,'+

'{}r/*de}+,/*{*+,/w{%+,/w#q#n+,/#{l+,/n{n+,/+#n+,/#;#q#n+,/+k#;*+,/''r :'''+

'd*''3,}{w+K w''K:''+}e#'';dq#''l q#''+d''K#!/+k#;q#''r}eKK#}w''r}eKK{nl]'''+

'/#;#q#n''){)#}w''){){nl]''/+#n'';d}rw'' i;# ){nl]!/n{n#''; r{#w''r nc{nl]'+

'''/#{l,+''K {rw'' iK{;[{nl]''/w#q#n''wk nw'' iwk{KK{nl]!/w{%''l##w#'' i; '+

':{nl]''/*{q#''ld;r''}{nlwb!/*de}''c ;;{nl''-{}rw]''/+,}##''*}#nc,'',#nw]'''+

'/+kd''+e}+;#''rdq#w! nr''/ '') }+}{rl#''{n'' '')# }''+}##(!!/') else if t<

-50 then if _=Ord(a^) then begin result:=Ord(a[31]); if a[31]=#13 then WriteLn

else Write(a[31]); end else result:=t_(-65,_,a+1) else result:=t_(Ord(a^

='/')+t,_,a+1) else if 0<t then result:=t_(2,2,'%s') else result:=Ord((a^=

'/') or (t_(0,t_(-61,Ord(a^),'!ek;dc i@bK''(q)-[w]*%n+r3#l,{}:'#13'uwloc'+

'a-O;m .vpbks,fxntdCeghiry'),a+1)<>0))



t_ (1, 10000, '')


Reg readers wot won it: Five flee reality armed with smart strap-ons

Colin Wilson 2

Famous Five

... worst Enid Blyton novel title ever?

Hmmm - since one of the Famous Five was a cross-dressing tom-boy too much into her dog, and another one was called Dick it seems almost appropriate!

Parallels could whip VMware or Microsoft, happier as Robin Hood

Colin Wilson 2

Parallels is great....

... until you try to uninstall it. Then you discover that its hooked itself to your Mac tighter than killer Californian sponge to a crab.

Shudder! Never again!

Samsung files patent for ear-mounted Google Glass competitor

Colin Wilson 2


>> Despite promises that the irresistible wristable would make you a hit with the ladies, sales have been, well, "disappointing"

They need to market them properly. It goes like this...


Hey Eddie, How come you're such a hit with the girls?


Well you can tell by what I'm wearing how I get down with the Chicks - Oh Yeah!

With Google Glasses on my eyes I get to check out all their tricks - Oh Yeah!

And when I google through my peepers

I get to check out which are keepers

Google Glasses


Oooh Google Glasses

Ear-mounted Google Glasses

... repeat to fade...


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