Ok I'll admit that perhaps not popular in himself, but the ear worm "ice, ice baby" should be know to people of a certain age, even if we didn't actually like sodding song.
57 posts • joined 15 Oct 2009
Re: Ah, but the upside
"YOU'VE GOT A VIDEO!!!!"
now where's the washing up liquid??
I was sent off by my missus (Thai) to get some shopping for a BBQ this weekend, with the instruction
"Oh and get some ice!"
"Do you want some nice ice baby?" I reply... cue blank look
Turns out Vanilla Ice was not so popular in Thailand back in the day...
it's not mud cracks on Uranus
(Someone had to do it....)
Re: And the real winners are:
Up vote and pint for mentioning Mr Slant.
and please use the proper lawyer term.. lawyers, Demon Spawn of the Seven Pits of Hell, Seeders of Evil, Corrupter of Man and a complete Wunch of Bankers
Remote tech support..
Many years ago my father was working abroad (either Turkey or India I can't remember which) when I had a call that he had broken his new laptop.
He had saved up for a Toshiba Satellite laptop with windows 95 on it. now there was a "big black border around the screen".
Luckily I actually knew this was a known driver problem (I certainly counldn't have looked it up on the internet in those days). I now just had to talk a new computer user through going into device manager removing the display driver, restarting and letting it find it again , restarting, all from memory as I couldn't afford a PC of my own at the time.
After the last reboot there was a massive sigh and a "I never really what you did until now - Thank you" which was nice.
Scroll on a few years until last Christmas. We had persuaded him that his 12 year old PC was really out dated and should be renewed, which he did (SHOCK!).
I get a phone call Christmas day evening (we had already exchanged the morning Christmas calls) saying the computer was broken and couldn't access the internet.
Turns out my Niece who is "Studying to work in IT" without actually saying what she is doing in IT had "sorted it out for him".
She managed to install McAfee over the top of the original AV to such an extent that it restricted ALL network access.
Cue an hour on the phone to actually figure out what was going on (it was only later I found out about the help), and hour or so trying to talk a user on how to uninstall McAfee manually enough to get some network access, followed by another hour on Team viewer to fix the bloody thing.
Lord preserve us from half trained IT wannabes
Beer for what I needed after I finally got off the phone (Where is the large whisky icon?)
Obviously not Thai...
I am fortunate enough to be married to a wonderful Thai lady (met in an Irish pub in Norway.. go figure)
As a Thai, she loves her papaya salad "poc poc" (the name comes from the sound in the pestle and mortar). Her freinds love her salad when she puts in about 5-6 birds eye chilies. I can stomach about 1/2 a birds eye chili ) my wonderful other half likes about 20 of the damn things in..
And don't get me started on her drying and grinding chilies or the dried squid that she warms up as a snack in the oven...
Still both are better than the result of her eating "falang" (western) food specifically baked beans in the great British fry up...
Re: Lost count...
I was referring to the article who said *he* was in the NW of England,,, *I* worked in Scotland, and I well know the difference thank you.
Given a pint rather than explosions 'cos we've all made a mistake once in a while...
I've lost count of the number of times as a service engineer (North West England .. easy mate, my patch was John o' Groats down to Edinburgh, Aberdeen to Fort William and Oban.The muppets who did the planning never looked at how big the Perth or Inverness post code areas are... in the same area my arse! Bastards!) that I had a problem with paper feeding, taking the printer, turning it upside down and giving it a damn good shake...
Paper clips, drawing pins, coins. how they ever managed to fit these things in there is a mystery.
Pint for anyone who has had to suffer admin staff with no idea of geography and that 30 miles away does not always mean a 30 mile road trip, and you
can't shouldn't go as fast on twist country roads as nice big roads in the more "civilized" areas. I did get offered much more coffee, cakes, biscuits etc than any of my colleagues from those areas though.
Problem years in the making
The problem regarding the software (in the UK) is that for the past 20 years or so kids have been taught computing in terms of Word, Excel and Powerpoint.
They were not and are not (as a rule) taught about how computers function, the components of a computer and how they interact.
Teach Word in English, Excel in Maths and Powerpoint in Art, teach computers and how they work in Computer studies!
For the average kid today (the IT Pro of the future!) computers are Black boxes where the network pixie brings them their you tube videos.
The kids you didn't teach 20 years ago, are the Computer teachers you don't have now to teach the programming for the kids today.
Until teachers with PROPER programming knowledge teach proper efficient coding, it dosn't matter what language you use it will be crap coding.
Rant over now time to deal with my _ing users....
Re: H too, Oh
I always thought Hydrogen would be better in the long run.
My idea would be to have containerized Hydrogen generators near(ish) wind turbines (I saw the generator on Click or something about a year ago), so that any excess energy gets converted into hydrogen, which could be turned back into electricity if demand required it at short notice.
No transporting masses of fuel around the country in trucks, just produce it where it's needed. Ideal for rural economies.
" ... NVIDIA does not intend to prohibit such uses,”
yes, but there is no where on the Nvidia site that actually confirms that statement, just the EULA that says you can't.
So do you risk believing the marketing boys or the lawyers?
Re: Why would one want to use Nvidia?
Because for a lot of parallel processing in academic situations the software is written with CUDA in mind. A lot of researchers use the resultant software for their processing (think that photographers don't write Photoshop in order to use it).
Until the same processes can use openCL and non Nvidia cards the researchers are stuck over a barrel and have 3 choices:-
1) pay a FORTUNE for the server grade Teslas
2) pay the similar or a little more for reduced capacity Quadro cards
3) use the GeForce risk getting sued
Re: Brings back bad memories
Yep the old email system didn't work with the document management system so we needed a different one that would. The lesser of two evils was changing the email system.
Re: Connecting the computer to the printer
But it has to be the correct cable..
I know a customer that bought a nice shiny computer, monitor and printer but "had the printer cable"
after the printer "not working" and being brought back in several times we got him to bring everything in and it worked fine (he didn't bring in the cable).
When we finally got him to bring the cable in it looked like a few bits of wet string in a hosepipe.
One (free of charge to get him out of the store) bi directional LPT printer cable later and everything was sorted
Re: Brings back bad memories
I've tried things like that in the past.
The number of times people have removed the paper explaining the new logon/ email / application procedure with "READ ME" in large letters from the screen \ keyboard before calling in saying the new system is broken and what was wrong with the old way ...
Re: Power Cables...
When it won't start up and I suspect the power cable, that is ALWAYS plugged in, I ask them to unplug the cable from the wall and the computer / monitor etc, "check it" and plug it back in... usually works then
So does that mean that everyone in Eire will receive a share of that? by my calculations its about 2,708,333,333 euro per person...
Can I move to Eire now??
(No Guinness icon, so this will have to do...)
School is useless
My son took computing at the local secondary school, and my daughter is now doing the same.
They constantly think that learning word power point and paint is studying computing.
No what is hardware or software , nothing about the history of computing / networking.
Nothing about how the internet works. I'm not talking CCNA I'm talking basic IP, the concept of a default gateway..
Simple diagnosis of simple problems ..
Basic logic and programming, that shows how to break problems down into smaller chunks.
Nope nothing that will help kids become the IT pros of the future...
Re: Xerox photcopiers
Even worse old washing machines!!
who knew the secret codes of the A wash C wash 1 wash all on the rotary mechanical dial.
Clothes say 40c colour wash
washing machine required the square root of Pi the blood of a virgin in the pre wash tray whichever one that was.
Usually ended up with boiled shrunk laundry soaking wet because it didn't have the spin cycle enabled..
Very early in my IT career I worked for PC world in the tech department.
Someone phoned through saying that they had the wrong monitor.. I politely asked if he had a 14inch rather than a 15 inch (yes THAT long ago)...
No it was just the wring monitor and wouldn't fit on his new PC.
Packard Bell had just come up with the amazing idea of colour coding the the plugs at the back of the PC, so went through the usual:-
correct port -"yes but it won't fit"
correct orientation -"yes but it won't fit"
I asked any bent pins "no but it won't fit"
Aha... not all the pins on the VGA are used so some manufacturers would leave them out...
"no it is not the same size I've held it next to it and it won't fit..."
I asked if he had actually tried it...
"no because it won't fit"
several minutes of asking cajoling before finally demanding he try it later
".... I've been a bit silly haven't I??"
Most of these beat my:-
"Cleaner using the server rack as a cleaner cupboard complete with bucket and mop"
right into the hat... Have a pint !
Password Generator ..
I have suggested to people to use a location to generate long passwords that ARE recoverable by you.
Using the site map.what3words.com you can choose a location memorable to you, your favourite seat in the bar you went to on holiday where you met that ...... anyway... it creates 3 random words that are retrievable, but highly unlikely to be guessed.
For example the centre of St Paul's Cathedral (like I'm going to tell you lot where that good bar is...) is "tamedbeatshangs"
and Voila !!! A nice strong password that YOU can recover but no one else
What a dumbbell end...
Thank you I'm here all week
I would use it..
After many taxi journeys is several countries I would definitely prefer this to a local "driving licence through the post" driver.
I was genuinely told that as long as you can see the back wheels you have enough stopping distance. And most of the time you couldn't see the back wheels, all at around 60MPH.
Advice from the Great Sir Terry Pratchett
"Never trust a species that smiles all the time, they are up to something"
There is the option of the full breakfast "in a bun", or actually a Stottie.
A Stottie is a type of large bread-bun-esk loaf around the size of a small dinner plate or a large side palte, and is about an inch and a half thick.
It has a very dense crumb, making ideal to be cut in half (2 semi circles) the sliced carefully to make a pocket to allow your full fried breakfast (bacon,sausage,fried eggs, beans if you wish) of choice to be inserted and eaten on the go.
Ideally with runny fried eggs so the yolk drips down your chin, or "kept for later if you have a beard"
Oh for a time machine to visit that particular Van in Team Valley about 30 years ago!!!!
Quote of the day
If I could remember the names of all these particles, I'd be a botanist.
Re: Ill play...
"Right across from the nice cool server room. A server room with a door. That is to be kept shut."
and secured. What no lock?
Someone should have had an arse kicking for that alone!
Aside from the e coli 0157 that I caught while on a job in Africa (completely unique sub strain apparently) One of the worse injuries I have had while in IT wasn't even a work computer, but working on a families computer.
The floppy disk had failed and I had one to swap out. The computer was a cheap nasty one with a badly folded edges.
Pulling the floppy cable out, it was a little stiff, so pull a little harder... and harder. then it cam out and I banged the back of my hand on the back of the case, cutting it down to the tendons that I could see moving.
One trip to the hospital later, one set of butterfly tapes and one big scar on the back of my hand.
Turns out some tw@t had used hot glue to keep the cable from coming out.
The 250 mile drive back with a bandaged hand wasn't fun either.....
Re: History repeats???
Also something similar in Cambridge
if not full blown hyperloop perhaps revisit something like this???
What Mr Stevenson you think we should connect Stockton and Darlington by steam?
Travel at 15 miles an hour!!
Why would people want to travel that fast?
It will never catch on! people say it can never be done!
I for one think the Hyperloop would be a good idea. Removing long distance driving, Update the rail network for the 23rd Century, never mind the 22nd.
"a small leak would destroy the train" in the same way a leak in a jet airliner would? I don't think so, a rapid slowing of the train but not much more than that.
I think we HAVE lost our way for large projects in this country. For the past 100 years we have been at the front of the development of so many technologies, from rockets, to supersonic jets, to computers and networking, but we then fail to have the vision to do anything about it.
Lets look for a return on investment not for 5, 10 or even 20 years... lets look for a hundred years, two hundred years, like the rail infrastructure (suitably upgraded) has been (if only they kept upgrading it enough).
Lets move the transport projects out of London and into other parts of the UK, and by the way England does not stop at Manchester or Birmingham, and Scotland does not stop at Edinburgh or Glasgow.
As to the guy who only suggested Skype, I'm sure your mother would be ecstatic to have a Skype call on her birthday as opposed to a visit from her children \ grandchildren. This kind of transport is not only for businesses, but, like rail travel and air travel before, for holidays, families and a chance to explore the country without spending 20 hours in a sodding traffic jam!!
That's it rant over....
I need to cut down on my coffee and donuts.
I thought that this was used as the basis for *insert telco here* phone menu system..
for sales press 1
for accounts press 2
for support press 3
for home support press 1
for business support press 2
for leased line press 1
for other network press 2
you have encountered a Basilisk... you have died ...
for sales press 1
for accounts press 2
for support press 3
Not the first time
I remember a long time ago Dell sent out a server update for Netware that assigned all network cards the same MAC address.
Fortunately a colleague spotted it before the rest of the firm applied it....
Glad to see somethings never change...
Interesting idea, just don't shoot the messenger!!
Back in my day
For years we have devalued the induction of the "new boy"!
Back in my day they were someone who did the errands and made the tea \ coffee (up to 12 people mix of coffees teas, strengths,sugars etc and God help you if you got it wrong!!).
These days ask the tattooed, pierced youth to go fetch a pencil from the stationary cupboard they look at you like you have beaten them to an inch of their life then asked them to shovel a wagon load of AOL CDs (or excrement whichever you think worse).
Where are the tea making trainees?
Why are the schools not teaching these valuable life skills?
It's a conspiracy by St@rducks and Costalotta and co !!
Joined up thinking....
I have thought that for years that hydrogen was better than the electric powered battery models. (although this one is butt ugly).
Those clever chappies in Japan have made a hydrogen station connected to the grid BBC Click
People have been saying for years that the problem with wind \ wave power is that is produces power when it's not needed.
My idea is this :- install one of these hydrogen producing units close by the wind turbines.
When the turbines can produce energy that is not currently needed by the grid it produces hydrogen available for cars to fill up at, or to convert back into electricity for the grid.
No complex transportation of hydrogen around, no massive new infrastructure, just what looks like a couple of containers worth of hardware, installed around in communities that would benefit from cheap fuel.
I've now solved the energy crisis I'm off for a pint!!
In my youth I worked as a tech PC world ( I know but I needed to eat).
I received a call from a shouty man saying that he had received the wrong monitor.
"wrong size ?" I asked
"No it just doesn't fit, the cable won't connect"
I went through the right colour, the right way round, even checking for a bent pin.
"I have looked at the cable and the socket and it won't fit!!"
"Ahh... not all the pins are used so they don't add them, so it MAY look different but it will fit."
"it will, will you please try it..."
"No it won't!!!"
.... continue for about 10 minutes in a nice voice (I was more relaxed back then)...
"LOOK, JUST BLOODY TRY IT!!!"
"I've been silly haven't I ??"
"Yes sir you have... Good bye"
Then as a PC engineer going out to replace a PSU in a new home PC....
I get to the house after several hours drive (this was in the Highlands of Scotland) I go to the PC, lift the flap for the power button (it was the fashion in the early 90's to hide the power buttons because it would be always on just in sleep mode to instantly wake... yeah right) .
Turn on, turn off, turn on, turn off
"Is this an intermittent fault?" I asked
"No, but I have never seen that button before...."
I was working for the Norwegian branch of an oil support company, and one year they gave us Fenalår.
Basically raw sheep's leg that is cured for several months.
It is often shown on display stands in peoples homes with a knife to help yourself with.
Looks terrible, sounds awful, but is actually really nice with a beer. You just need to remember to cut it the proper way or you need to keep chewing it into the new year..
Re: 8 processor core? 8?
From what I have read, it is more like two quad cores.
A low powered one for everyday stuff to preserve the battery, and a really kick arse one for when the load needs it.
Re: Space Monkeys
I would happily pay half my tax to get rid of a large proportion of the planet...
All the Z list celebs, all the work shy chavs, and most if not all politicians (from all parties).
We could build something like a space arc, tell them the planet is doomed, they can go in Ship C , ship A and B are still under construction and we'll catch you up...
The next thing you know they'll have landed and used leaves as currency
Paris as a Z list celeb
Re: Companies and social media
At least I have the balls to use my name
Companies and social media
I tried to enter a competition on a magazine website - which you had to have an account for. I won't tell you the name, but suffice to say the title contains a letter and a number and is about gadgets and things.
Only to find "enter the competition on facebook", or tweet to enter our competition.
No I won't you w@nkers!
You have a website that I had to register to use that you lazy B@stards.
I'm refuse to join Tw@ter as to be honest there is no on that I am that interested in that I want to hear what flavour of Pizza you are thinking about eating.
I refuse to join facebook as their privacy changes more often than MS applies patches.
I don't want a web in a web, if I did I would have used AOL!
Now I don't mind some people wanting to do this, it is their right to give all thier private details away, but I don't want to facebook freind my Bogroll, Washing powder, or anything else!
Give me back my WEB you B@stards
Did he keep the box?
Then box it up, return it to the store for a full refund, you are obviously too stupid to own a computer...
The flaky connection was why I have just moved to O2.
I got so sick of reboots, bars on the phone but no connection, no connection to my wifes phone.
Great idea if they could keep it working
mm for small stuff up to a few cm, then change to inches upto about a foot and a half,
then change to Metres upto about 2000M when we change back to miles.
with liquids, a drop, teaspoon, a splash, tablespoon, glug, a nip, a glass (the standard for a night out I only had a glass of wine one glass multiple fills), a half (for the girls) a pint followed by bottles (wine \spirits) litres for the soft drinks, then to gallons
for weight, grams, from a half a pound to a couple of pounds, then to Kg, followed by heavy, Bugger me and finally F*** ME!
any other weights and measures are irrelevent
I don't see what all the fuss is about..
I do remember selling 80m rolls of 4inch photographic paper so maybe that explains it.
is it only me???
There is all the talk of wind farms / renewable energy producing either too much electricity or not enough.
If we can store the hydrogen safely and produce it from the electricity surely the answer is to use the wind farms to produce the hydrogen and store it for when it it required to produce electricity, on demand.
any excess could be stored and used to provide fuel for the hydrogen for cars.
For the people who say about wind turbines not being pretty, efficient etc.. the same principal could be used in tidal flows, wave power and so on.
A large number of smaller plants would prevent the requirement for transporting as much fuel around the county as well as being less intrusive than a huge nuclear reactor
Now I've sorted the World's energy problem I deserve a pint!
Optical Express = Bunch of Cowboys
Yes but I still wouldn't choose Optical Express.
They managed to get my wife's prescription completely wrong even after 3 attempts of them to get it right.
She was left with glasses that made her walk into walls.
Went to Vision Express and got a new prescription completely different ( no astigmatism) and she now has a pair of glasses she can use.
Tried to get my money back from OE. they will fix them (how if they get the prescription wrong and have had 3 goes) but no chance.
AVOID them like the plague
Sail wind indicators
When sailing boats use wind indicators they use cloth supported at the top and side, allowing the tail end to feather.
this is apparently to stop the juddering of small amounts of airflow twitching the direction.
I wonder if a similar thing would be useful in this case??