* Posts by Valerion

518 posts • joined 12 Oct 2009

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The butterfly defect: MacBook keys wrecked by single grain of sand

Valerion

Re: Pledge to Protect

My Mac is a late 2009 - I googled the repair but its way beyond my capabilities, totally frustrating as despite the age its got updated RAM and a 1TB HD and works just fine.

My sister-in-law had a Lenovo laptop with a dodgy keyboard due to some juice spillage. Despite having no experience or expertise in computer repair, she was able to order (for about £25) and replace the keyboard herself. It took her about 10 minutes and her £350 laptop was as good as new.

Good luck with that on a £1500 Macbook...

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Capita admits it won't make money on botched NHS England contract

Valerion

Don't worry guys

I'm sure the executives who put the winning bid together got massive bonuses and promotions.

I know you were all worried for their well-being.

4
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Half of all Windows 10 users thought: BSOD it, let's get the latest build

Valerion

Re: Rolled out != working users

If that is the case then I would reconsider your "expertise" then as you obviously do not know how to configure a Windows PC to work properly! Out of the 8 machines here that I have in the house, only ONE issue has arisen after an update on ONE machine only - Asus AI Suite stopped working but was easily fixed by installing a later version of it. Every other update has gone smooth as silk with no problems. I have to admit that W10 has lowered my workload dramatically as people don't seem to have so many problems like they had with W8 or previous versions. Lucky? Maybe, but then again maybe I know how to configure a W10 machine so it doesn't have problems or use hardware that has good driver support?

Knob.

I never claimed to have any expertise in fixing Windows 10 Updates, or Windows in general. Neither have I "configured" any of those affected computers (although I'm not sure what you actually mean by "configure". You probably don't know either.). I'm also pretty sure I said quite clearly "I use Macs".

And why should anyone need ANY expertise in order to continue having a working system when MS push out an update?

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Valerion

Rolled out != working users

Based on my sample size of 2 (that's my inlaw's desktop and laptop), 100% of computers had issues.

Desktop - broke Excel. An elderly version sure, but was working fine previously. The fix was to install OpenOffice. Also broke his music player and his speakers but I was able to get those working again eventually.

Laptop - has the "desktop" issue and is currently a paperweight. I simply don't have time to do anything more to try and fix it, and I'm hoping that MS might actually get their fucking arses in gear and release a fix. No sign so far, and this seems to affect an awful lot of people. They just don't seem to give a shit.

So in my circle, every computer this update has touched has broken in some way. I've personally had to spend hours trying to fix things. That's my evening/weekend time that I would rather spend doing anything else. Personally I moved to Mac years ago and haven't had any issues with any of them on any update. But because I'm the "expert" in the family (I'm a software engineer but that just means "computer fixer" to any family member) I have to waste my time because of MS's fuck up.

I am cross.

39
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The glorious uncertainty: Backup world is having a GDPR moment

Valerion

Snapshots

Surely you wouldn't make them read/write and modify and go all horribly wrong like that as suggested?

You'd do the delete on the primary instance, then take a new snapshot to replace the existing one with. Most places would do snapshot creation automated on a schedule anyway so it would probably just sort itself out overnight. You'd then just delete the old one.

2
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Microsoft patches problematic OS to deal with SSD woes

Valerion

Have they fixed the other issue?

The one that seemed to totally bork computers that had Avast or AVG on them when the latest Win10 update was applied?

My mother-in-law's laptop is sitting, utterly useless, in my house whilst I wait for MS to get a fix out for that one.

1
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Police block roads to stop tech support chap 'robbing a bank'

Valerion

Re: Must have been a quite impressive experience

"Put your hands up" is usually the first demand, is it not?

Thus button-under-counter is probably a really bad idea.

Don't most people have knees?

7
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US websites block netizens in Europe: Why are they ghosting EU? It's not you, it's GDPR

Valerion

Golf Galaxy

I'm off to the USA in a few weeks so thought I'd have a little browse on the Golf Galaxy website, lest I am able to persuade the Mrs to let me buy something whilst we're there.

But no. Great big message saying "Because of GDPR, visitors from your location are not allowed to browse the web store".

WTF? I only want to look at some gear online, not even to buy it!

I assume I'll be denied physical entry to the actual store as well if I look like a shifty European.

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MPs slam UK.gov's 'unacceptable' hoarding of custody images

Valerion

DELETE from IMAGES where STATUS=Innocent;

What is this non-normalised lunacy?

And where are the quotes around the text?

Is this a Capita example?

15
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Map app chaps Waze add shout-at-sat-nav support for Ford cars

Valerion

Put it on Carplay!

I like Waze - it's better than my built-in sat-nav, and miles better than Apple Maps.

If Apple allowed it on Carplay then I might actually start using that again (having decided it's useless and turned it off).

1
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Fixing a printer ended with a dozen fire engines in the car park

Valerion

Shut down production in a clean room

Many years ago I worked for a defence contractor in a building that was partly converted into a clean-room, for a different part of the business. They had a production line in there making something fairly hush-hush (radar equipment, I think).

Anyway we had a couple of Ducati's delivered to work, so that we could fit some electronics onto them that we were developing for the customer. Naturally, we had them outside, by one of the clean-room air outlets, and were revving the bollocks out of them, as you do (especially when you are 25 years old).

A couple of minutes later a man in a white lab coat covered in clean-room garb came out and asked us very nicely if we would mind doing that elsewhere, as that was actually their air intake and we'd tripped all their alarms with our exhaust gas, shut down production and triggered an evacuation of the room.

He really was very nice about it all. We decided our boss didn't need to know.

19
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Sir Clive Sinclair dragged into ZX Spectrum reboot battle

Valerion

Re: Answer me this

...and Laser Beams!

Of the "Frikken" variety.

24
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Take-off crash 'n' burn didn't kill the Concorde, it was just too bloody expensive to maintain

Valerion

Brooklands

For those of closer to London, I highly recommend the Brooklands Museum Concorde Experience.

You get to go on the plane, sit in the seats and they do a simulated take-off. It's all very well done, and the rest of the museum is worth the visit too.

4
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SpaceX finally Falcon flings NASA's TESS into orbit

Valerion

Re: Arithmetic

No you don't. The article was counting launches of the Falcon 9, of which there are 25. Not launches of all types of Falcons.

If you include the Falcon Heavy, which uses 3 boosters (none included in the 25), then it's 28.

15
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Size does matter, chaps: Oversized todgers an evolutionary handicap

Valerion

I knew it!

That's my best excuse yet to the ladies - I'm highly evolved!

44
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'I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week'

Valerion

Compuserve

This happened only a few days before I started at Compuserve. The people running the introduction training course made a very big deal out of it!

0
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Cryptocoin investors sue Chase Bank for sky-high credit card charges

Valerion

Re: The Bank is RIGHT

a) it's a CURRENCY - so it's a CASH ADVANCE

It's not a currency. If I sell you 400 sheets of paper with £10 written on it, that does not make it a currency. It's no more a currency than the VBucks my son keeps pestering me to buy for Fortnite.

You also self-defeat your argument with the term "Cash Advance". If I buy $400 then I can actually go into a bank, and ask for that $400 in cash. Try walking into a bank and asking for your Bitcoin in cash. There is no cash version, therefore it is not a cash advance.

1
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Cinema voucher-pusher tells customers: Cancel your credit cards, we've been 'attacked'

Valerion

Happened to me

I had an email from Sodexo in February, a few days after my card got used for a few fraudulent transactions.

Luckily Natwest were on the ball and blocked the card before I even realised.

Edit to say that this was done via the Tastecard Plus site - I had no idea who Sodexo were or that they were the one providing that service.

5
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Sysadmin wiped two servers, left the country to escape the shame

Valerion

300km?

People don't drive 300 km in Britain.

They drive 186.411 miles.

Most of it over potholes.

19
3

Go park yourself: Brit firm flashes self-parking car tech

Valerion

To paraphrase Jasper Carrot

Who has right of way at an unmarked junction?

That's easy. Me.

1
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We sent a vulture to find the relaunched Atari box – and all he got was this lousy baseball cap

Valerion

Re: Aaaahhhh come on....

In all seriousness why bother holding an event where you can shed no light on the problems or give any worthwhile information?

I imagine that Mike wanted a reason to go to the conference and stay in a nice suite at a nice hotel, and this was the only way he could swing it.

18
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Uber hopes to butter up Brit transport chiefs with lots of lovely data

Valerion

Really? With several ANPR systems (the ones we know of) in action?

The problem with ANPR is it doesn't know what you do between cameras. Did you go straight from Camera A to Camera B in 20 minutes? Or did you spend 15 minutes driving around side streets? Maybe you pulled over, made a phone call, had a cup of coffee in a cafe etc. I suppose they can ignore outliers in the data, with Uber they do know the details of what was going on so the data is more useful.

1
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Identifying planets with machine learning, dirty AI searches, and OpenAI scholarships

Valerion

Re: Asarian Humlion

AKA Eccentrica Galumbits, the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon 6.

0
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Fender's 'smart' guitar amp has no Bluetooth pairing controls

Valerion

Re: As a practicing[0] guitarist ...

Alas, most amateur guitarists seem to believe 'if it doesn't sound good acoustic, I need to add more distortion pedals'.

When I was younger, and reached the level of "still shit" as a guitarist, I very quickly realised that anything I played on acoustic sounded terrible, but by plugging in, and whacking up the overdrive things would sound a lot better!

3
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A Hughes failure: Flat Earther rocketeer can't get it up yet again

Valerion

Re: 1,800 feet

Why does he need to go up?

Can't he just journey to the actual edge of the earth?

35
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Long haul flights on a one-aisle plane? Airbus thinks you’re up for it

Valerion

Re: How bad does it have to get?

Funny how many people will pay around a grand for a mobile phone, but then will fly with the cheapest crappest airline that Google can find them.

When I buy a phone, I expect it to last at least 2 years and be bloody good at everything it does.

When I fly to, say, Florida on holiday, it's an 8 hour flight and then I'm off the plane and it's forgotten. It simply isn't always worth paying loads more money just to get there a bit more comfortably. Usually, I'll just suck it up and complain a bit.

Had a horrid flight with Air Transat back from Montreal (would have been ok if they'd not given the extra legroom seats that I paid for to someone else). But at the end of the day it was bloody cheap so I could put up with the discomfort for a few hours.

3
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Elon Musk offered no salary, $55bn bonus to run Tesla for a decade

Valerion

I imagine the bonuses are to keep him at the company for the next 10 years.

And anyway, who would turn down an extra $50bn?

3
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UK competition watchdog: Fox's takeover of Sky 'not in public interest'

Valerion

Red Dwarf

On one of the recent episodes they came across a space station that had developed a cure for evil, and successfully cured Hitler, Stalin, Ghengis Khan, etc.

But they were unable to cure Rupert Murdoch. He was too evil.

11
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HMRC dev support team cc blurtfest: Over 1,400 email addresses blabbed

Valerion

Reply All

I'm amazed nobody hit Reply All to point this out, followed by more people Replying All to say "Remove me from this list" and so on, forever.

7
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You Wreck Me, Spotify: Tom Petty, Neil Young publisher launches $1.6bn copyright sueball

Valerion

Just because it has become easier to record something in good quality, does not mean that the music itself is actually good.

I'd rather listen to Petty/Young recorded on a 1970s portable mono tape recorder in terrible quality than much of today's garbage written and recorded on an iPad by someone who classifies their music as "grime".

30
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That was fast... unlike old iPhones: Apple sued for slowing down mobes

Valerion

Re: "To provide a better experience to customers"

[i]"Your car is old & the brakes worn way down, so in order to make it a more pleasant ride we're going to artificially limit the speed to only that of a one legged horse. Enjoy!"[/i]

Actually, reducing the allowed speed of cars with warn out brakes is a pretty good idea.

36
3

Dentist-turned bug-biter given a taste of freedom

Valerion

Re: One should be very careful

Thanks for the warning.

I shall make sure not to mention security issues when it comes to Eagelsoft, from Patterson Dental.

11
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Used iPhone Safari in 2011-12? You might qualify for Google bucks

Valerion

Just ask Google...

29
1

Tom Baker returns to finish shelved Doctor Who episodes penned by Douglas Adams

Valerion

Re: DNA

Well there were the BBC Dirk Gently TV series starring Stephen Mangan . Although loosely based, personally I think they are grossly under-rated and probably the best small/large screen representation of DNA's work

I enjoyed those, too. Stephen Mangan was a perfect Dirk - pretty much exactly how I imagined him when reading the books.

There's also a Netflix "Dirk Gently" that is nothing to do with anything DNA did. Still quite entertaining and a suitably odd plot, but only Dirk Gently by name.

7
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Valerion

Not if they'd used all their regenerations...

8
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Death, taxes, DXC job cuts: Three of life's sure bets

Valerion

The problem with voluntary redundancy

Is all the good people leave. They take their payoff, and walk immediately into another job - probably on a higher salary, too. The other set who go are those who are close to retirement. They would have gone for free soon anyway, but might have actually shared their decades of knowledge before they left.

You are left with the dross who nobody wants to hire, but have saved a few quid.

Unfortunately, then company performance suffers because the remaining staff are shite, profits plummet even more and you repeat the cycle.

It's almost like if you kept the good people and rewarded them, that the company would do better. But that's crazy talk and I'm not a management consultant.

7
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A certain millennial turned 30 recently: Welcome to middle age, Microsoft Excel v2

Valerion

Grandather's Axe

This is Britain, we'll have none of that thank you.

Trigger's Broom.

That is all.

21
1

Amazon Key door-entry flaw: No easy fix to stop rogue couriers burgling your place unseen

Valerion

Re: What if ...

All you need to do, as a delivery driver, is call your thief friend after you leave and say "Number 22 Acacia Avenue - lots of nice stuff, camera is on the shelf in the hallway on the left, nobody is home".

Said thief can then break into the house (which is generally not that difficult) and be sure of nobody being there, and would know where the camera is to avoid it/break it.

4
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Tesla launches electric truck it guarantees won't break for a million miles

Valerion
Joke

Single seat?

This is going to really annoy the truckers. How are they going to pick up and murder hitch-hikers now?

10
1

Remember CompuServe forums? They're still around! Also they're about to die

Valerion

113215,53 reporting in!

My first ever job was doing telephone tech support at Compuserve, helping people who couldn't get online. You'd normally change a few things and then ask them to try again. Of course, they'd have to hang up in order to do so, and then it became somebody else's problem. Unless you got one of those people who said "Oh no need to hang up, I've got a second line!" I hated those people.

Some good times there. The day they released the new CIS3.0 software (that was completely different to the old WinCim) without either telling us call centre monkeys, or actually training us (or, for that matter, even showing it to us even once before hand) was a fun day.

Incidentally, I think Compuserve also ran the X25 network that Visa used for their worldwide card processing.

5
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Universal basic income is a great idea, which is also why it won't happen

Valerion

Housing problem

The problem in UBI is it can't be Universal. Housing costs vary so wildly from area to area that £200 per week UBI has you living in a 3-bed house in one place and in a cardboard box in another.

Also, a childless couple existing on UBI needs less space than a couple with 3 children.

Therefore there has to be an amount of Child and/or Housing Benefit for those who aren't working. And that will still have to be means tested, and removed when the recipient finds a job or has their children reach claimant age. Which kind of then negates the whole point of avoiding benefits and withdrawal of benefits when work is obtained.

2
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BOFH: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

Valerion

Is this the dawn of...

The BBFH ?

10
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Lord of the Rings TV show shopped around Hollywood

Valerion

Hobbits vs Food

"If you're looking for the best second breakfast, look no further than the Prancing Pony. And if it's beer you're after - in here it comes in PINTS".

4
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OpenSSL patches, Apple bug fixes, Hilton's $700k hack bill, Kim Dotcom raid settlement, Signal desktop app, and more

Valerion

Hilton

Paid £700,000 to New York State.

But nothing to those whose cards were leaked, cloned and otherwise monkeyed with?

0
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Official Secrets Act alert went off after embassy hired local tech support

Valerion

Not quite the same distance

But once I had to fly from London to Edinburgh at the crack of sparrows, whilst quite phenomenally unwell, hire a car, and drive a couple of hours north in order to install some software. Said software ONLY worked on Windows 2000. Not XP, not ME, not Linux, only Windows 2000.

The customer had to get a new PC to run this, so I checked three times with them that they had got Windows 2000 on it. They assured me their local specialist had indeed installed Windows 2000.

After a lovely short flight that I spent puking in the plane bathroom, and then a very lovely drive through some very nice scenery, punctuated by more puking, I arrived. You already know it wasn't running 2000. Instead it was running ME because "it's basically the same thing, but cheaper".

So I turned around and went home again. By this time I'd finished puking so it wasn't all bad.

33
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Why are we disappointed with the best streaming media box on the market?

Valerion

Re: Which country?

I know of HBO from The Simpsons, when Bart and family are kidnapped by aliens and put on their spaceship

Kang: "And on this giant TV you can get any TV channel in the universe!"

Bart: "Does it get HBO?"

Kang: "No, that would cost extra."

3
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AI is worth learning and not too tricky – if you can get your head around key frameworks

Valerion

TensorFlow

Sorry, this sounds like a sanitary towel and as such I was unable to take the rest of the article seriously.

4
4

Apple Cook's half-baked defense of the Mac Mini: This kit ain't a leftover

Valerion

The last Mac Mini was obsolete at launch

When the 2014s came out (which I had been waiting for), they removed all the quad-core processors, and stopped the RAM being upgradable.

So I picked a 1TB 2012 quad-core from the refurb store (I think it was clearance of old stock rather than a refurb), bought 16GB of aftermarket RAM, and a 256GB SSD to boot it from.

The fitting of the SSD was a real pain (by far the hardest and fiddliest computer surgery I've done in 20+ years of fiddling), but the result was a stonkingly good machine, but it's now a few years old. It's still running fine, but what do I do when it isn't? A current Mini is out of the question, and I won't buy an iMac as I don't like All In One devices. Sure, they look nice, but I don't want to chuck an entire PC away because the monitor broke. And, of course, they are expensive.

I want to stay with Mac because I like the OS, so my options are build my own Hackintosh, or ditch Mac altogether.

Sort it out Tim!

4
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Your data will get hacked anyway so you might as well give up protecting it

Valerion

Re: You'll be revived on mars, or worse...

You could "die" moderately well off and "wake up" outrageously rich.

Isn't that exactly what happened to Fry in Futurama?

9
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Apple's iOS password prompts prime punters for phishing: Too easy now for apps to swipe secrets, dev warns

Valerion

Oldest trick in the book

I remember back in the 90s when I were a lad, writing a VB program to mimic exactly the network logon screen on the RM Nimbus PCs we had at school.

Left it running on the computer the teacher normally sat it, told her I'd forgotten my password. In order to reset it, she logs onto my fake screen which gives her a cunningly programmed "Network error, please restart your computer" error and stores her details in a text file. I then handily remember my password, grab the text file from that computer, deleting it to cover my tracks, and then I had admin access over the whole school network.

I'm not such a l33t haxx0r any more, sadly.

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