* Posts by Valerion

505 posts • joined 12 Oct 2009

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SpaceX finally Falcon flings NASA's TESS into orbit

Valerion

Re: Arithmetic

No you don't. The article was counting launches of the Falcon 9, of which there are 25. Not launches of all types of Falcons.

If you include the Falcon Heavy, which uses 3 boosters (none included in the 25), then it's 28.

14
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Size does matter, chaps: Oversized todgers an evolutionary handicap

Valerion

I knew it!

That's my best excuse yet to the ladies - I'm highly evolved!

42
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'I crashed AOL for 19 hours and messed up global email for a week'

Valerion

Compuserve

This happened only a few days before I started at Compuserve. The people running the introduction training course made a very big deal out of it!

0
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Cryptocoin investors sue Chase Bank for sky-high credit card charges

Valerion

Re: The Bank is RIGHT

a) it's a CURRENCY - so it's a CASH ADVANCE

It's not a currency. If I sell you 400 sheets of paper with £10 written on it, that does not make it a currency. It's no more a currency than the VBucks my son keeps pestering me to buy for Fortnite.

You also self-defeat your argument with the term "Cash Advance". If I buy $400 then I can actually go into a bank, and ask for that $400 in cash. Try walking into a bank and asking for your Bitcoin in cash. There is no cash version, therefore it is not a cash advance.

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Cinema voucher-pusher tells customers: Cancel your credit cards, we've been 'attacked'

Valerion

Happened to me

I had an email from Sodexo in February, a few days after my card got used for a few fraudulent transactions.

Luckily Natwest were on the ball and blocked the card before I even realised.

Edit to say that this was done via the Tastecard Plus site - I had no idea who Sodexo were or that they were the one providing that service.

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Sysadmin wiped two servers, left the country to escape the shame

Valerion

300km?

People don't drive 300 km in Britain.

They drive 186.411 miles.

Most of it over potholes.

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3

Go park yourself: Brit firm flashes self-parking car tech

Valerion

To paraphrase Jasper Carrot

Who has right of way at an unmarked junction?

That's easy. Me.

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We sent a vulture to find the relaunched Atari box – and all he got was this lousy baseball cap

Valerion

Re: Aaaahhhh come on....

In all seriousness why bother holding an event where you can shed no light on the problems or give any worthwhile information?

I imagine that Mike wanted a reason to go to the conference and stay in a nice suite at a nice hotel, and this was the only way he could swing it.

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Uber hopes to butter up Brit transport chiefs with lots of lovely data

Valerion

Really? With several ANPR systems (the ones we know of) in action?

The problem with ANPR is it doesn't know what you do between cameras. Did you go straight from Camera A to Camera B in 20 minutes? Or did you spend 15 minutes driving around side streets? Maybe you pulled over, made a phone call, had a cup of coffee in a cafe etc. I suppose they can ignore outliers in the data, with Uber they do know the details of what was going on so the data is more useful.

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Identifying planets with machine learning, dirty AI searches, and OpenAI scholarships

Valerion

Re: Asarian Humlion

AKA Eccentrica Galumbits, the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon 6.

0
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Fender's 'smart' guitar amp has no Bluetooth pairing controls

Valerion

Re: As a practicing[0] guitarist ...

Alas, most amateur guitarists seem to believe 'if it doesn't sound good acoustic, I need to add more distortion pedals'.

When I was younger, and reached the level of "still shit" as a guitarist, I very quickly realised that anything I played on acoustic sounded terrible, but by plugging in, and whacking up the overdrive things would sound a lot better!

3
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A Hughes failure: Flat Earther rocketeer can't get it up yet again

Valerion

Re: 1,800 feet

Why does he need to go up?

Can't he just journey to the actual edge of the earth?

35
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Long haul flights on a one-aisle plane? Airbus thinks you’re up for it

Valerion

Re: How bad does it have to get?

Funny how many people will pay around a grand for a mobile phone, but then will fly with the cheapest crappest airline that Google can find them.

When I buy a phone, I expect it to last at least 2 years and be bloody good at everything it does.

When I fly to, say, Florida on holiday, it's an 8 hour flight and then I'm off the plane and it's forgotten. It simply isn't always worth paying loads more money just to get there a bit more comfortably. Usually, I'll just suck it up and complain a bit.

Had a horrid flight with Air Transat back from Montreal (would have been ok if they'd not given the extra legroom seats that I paid for to someone else). But at the end of the day it was bloody cheap so I could put up with the discomfort for a few hours.

3
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Elon Musk offered no salary, $55bn bonus to run Tesla for a decade

Valerion

I imagine the bonuses are to keep him at the company for the next 10 years.

And anyway, who would turn down an extra $50bn?

3
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UK competition watchdog: Fox's takeover of Sky 'not in public interest'

Valerion

Red Dwarf

On one of the recent episodes they came across a space station that had developed a cure for evil, and successfully cured Hitler, Stalin, Ghengis Khan, etc.

But they were unable to cure Rupert Murdoch. He was too evil.

11
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HMRC dev support team cc blurtfest: Over 1,400 email addresses blabbed

Valerion

Reply All

I'm amazed nobody hit Reply All to point this out, followed by more people Replying All to say "Remove me from this list" and so on, forever.

7
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You Wreck Me, Spotify: Tom Petty, Neil Young publisher launches $1.6bn copyright sueball

Valerion

Just because it has become easier to record something in good quality, does not mean that the music itself is actually good.

I'd rather listen to Petty/Young recorded on a 1970s portable mono tape recorder in terrible quality than much of today's garbage written and recorded on an iPad by someone who classifies their music as "grime".

30
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That was fast... unlike old iPhones: Apple sued for slowing down mobes

Valerion

Re: "To provide a better experience to customers"

[i]"Your car is old & the brakes worn way down, so in order to make it a more pleasant ride we're going to artificially limit the speed to only that of a one legged horse. Enjoy!"[/i]

Actually, reducing the allowed speed of cars with warn out brakes is a pretty good idea.

36
3

Dentist-turned bug-biter given a taste of freedom

Valerion

Re: One should be very careful

Thanks for the warning.

I shall make sure not to mention security issues when it comes to Eagelsoft, from Patterson Dental.

11
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Used iPhone Safari in 2011-12? You might qualify for Google bucks

Valerion

Just ask Google...

29
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Tom Baker returns to finish shelved Doctor Who episodes penned by Douglas Adams

Valerion

Re: DNA

Well there were the BBC Dirk Gently TV series starring Stephen Mangan . Although loosely based, personally I think they are grossly under-rated and probably the best small/large screen representation of DNA's work

I enjoyed those, too. Stephen Mangan was a perfect Dirk - pretty much exactly how I imagined him when reading the books.

There's also a Netflix "Dirk Gently" that is nothing to do with anything DNA did. Still quite entertaining and a suitably odd plot, but only Dirk Gently by name.

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Valerion

Not if they'd used all their regenerations...

8
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Death, taxes, DXC job cuts: Three of life's sure bets

Valerion

The problem with voluntary redundancy

Is all the good people leave. They take their payoff, and walk immediately into another job - probably on a higher salary, too. The other set who go are those who are close to retirement. They would have gone for free soon anyway, but might have actually shared their decades of knowledge before they left.

You are left with the dross who nobody wants to hire, but have saved a few quid.

Unfortunately, then company performance suffers because the remaining staff are shite, profits plummet even more and you repeat the cycle.

It's almost like if you kept the good people and rewarded them, that the company would do better. But that's crazy talk and I'm not a management consultant.

7
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A certain millennial turned 30 recently: Welcome to middle age, Microsoft Excel v2

Valerion

Grandather's Axe

This is Britain, we'll have none of that thank you.

Trigger's Broom.

That is all.

21
1

Amazon Key door-entry flaw: No easy fix to stop rogue couriers burgling your place unseen

Valerion

Re: What if ...

All you need to do, as a delivery driver, is call your thief friend after you leave and say "Number 22 Acacia Avenue - lots of nice stuff, camera is on the shelf in the hallway on the left, nobody is home".

Said thief can then break into the house (which is generally not that difficult) and be sure of nobody being there, and would know where the camera is to avoid it/break it.

4
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Tesla launches electric truck it guarantees won't break for a million miles

Valerion
Joke

Single seat?

This is going to really annoy the truckers. How are they going to pick up and murder hitch-hikers now?

10
1

Remember CompuServe forums? They're still around! Also they're about to die

Valerion

113215,53 reporting in!

My first ever job was doing telephone tech support at Compuserve, helping people who couldn't get online. You'd normally change a few things and then ask them to try again. Of course, they'd have to hang up in order to do so, and then it became somebody else's problem. Unless you got one of those people who said "Oh no need to hang up, I've got a second line!" I hated those people.

Some good times there. The day they released the new CIS3.0 software (that was completely different to the old WinCim) without either telling us call centre monkeys, or actually training us (or, for that matter, even showing it to us even once before hand) was a fun day.

Incidentally, I think Compuserve also ran the X25 network that Visa used for their worldwide card processing.

5
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Universal basic income is a great idea, which is also why it won't happen

Valerion

Housing problem

The problem in UBI is it can't be Universal. Housing costs vary so wildly from area to area that £200 per week UBI has you living in a 3-bed house in one place and in a cardboard box in another.

Also, a childless couple existing on UBI needs less space than a couple with 3 children.

Therefore there has to be an amount of Child and/or Housing Benefit for those who aren't working. And that will still have to be means tested, and removed when the recipient finds a job or has their children reach claimant age. Which kind of then negates the whole point of avoiding benefits and withdrawal of benefits when work is obtained.

2
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BOFH: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks?

Valerion

Is this the dawn of...

The BBFH ?

10
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Lord of the Rings TV show shopped around Hollywood

Valerion

Hobbits vs Food

"If you're looking for the best second breakfast, look no further than the Prancing Pony. And if it's beer you're after - in here it comes in PINTS".

4
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OpenSSL patches, Apple bug fixes, Hilton's $700k hack bill, Kim Dotcom raid settlement, Signal desktop app, and more

Valerion

Hilton

Paid £700,000 to New York State.

But nothing to those whose cards were leaked, cloned and otherwise monkeyed with?

0
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Official Secrets Act alert went off after embassy hired local tech support

Valerion

Not quite the same distance

But once I had to fly from London to Edinburgh at the crack of sparrows, whilst quite phenomenally unwell, hire a car, and drive a couple of hours north in order to install some software. Said software ONLY worked on Windows 2000. Not XP, not ME, not Linux, only Windows 2000.

The customer had to get a new PC to run this, so I checked three times with them that they had got Windows 2000 on it. They assured me their local specialist had indeed installed Windows 2000.

After a lovely short flight that I spent puking in the plane bathroom, and then a very lovely drive through some very nice scenery, punctuated by more puking, I arrived. You already know it wasn't running 2000. Instead it was running ME because "it's basically the same thing, but cheaper".

So I turned around and went home again. By this time I'd finished puking so it wasn't all bad.

33
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Why are we disappointed with the best streaming media box on the market?

Valerion

Re: Which country?

I know of HBO from The Simpsons, when Bart and family are kidnapped by aliens and put on their spaceship

Kang: "And on this giant TV you can get any TV channel in the universe!"

Bart: "Does it get HBO?"

Kang: "No, that would cost extra."

3
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AI is worth learning and not too tricky – if you can get your head around key frameworks

Valerion

TensorFlow

Sorry, this sounds like a sanitary towel and as such I was unable to take the rest of the article seriously.

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Apple Cook's half-baked defense of the Mac Mini: This kit ain't a leftover

Valerion

The last Mac Mini was obsolete at launch

When the 2014s came out (which I had been waiting for), they removed all the quad-core processors, and stopped the RAM being upgradable.

So I picked a 1TB 2012 quad-core from the refurb store (I think it was clearance of old stock rather than a refurb), bought 16GB of aftermarket RAM, and a 256GB SSD to boot it from.

The fitting of the SSD was a real pain (by far the hardest and fiddliest computer surgery I've done in 20+ years of fiddling), but the result was a stonkingly good machine, but it's now a few years old. It's still running fine, but what do I do when it isn't? A current Mini is out of the question, and I won't buy an iMac as I don't like All In One devices. Sure, they look nice, but I don't want to chuck an entire PC away because the monitor broke. And, of course, they are expensive.

I want to stay with Mac because I like the OS, so my options are build my own Hackintosh, or ditch Mac altogether.

Sort it out Tim!

4
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Your data will get hacked anyway so you might as well give up protecting it

Valerion

Re: You'll be revived on mars, or worse...

You could "die" moderately well off and "wake up" outrageously rich.

Isn't that exactly what happened to Fry in Futurama?

9
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Apple's iOS password prompts prime punters for phishing: Too easy now for apps to swipe secrets, dev warns

Valerion

Oldest trick in the book

I remember back in the 90s when I were a lad, writing a VB program to mimic exactly the network logon screen on the RM Nimbus PCs we had at school.

Left it running on the computer the teacher normally sat it, told her I'd forgotten my password. In order to reset it, she logs onto my fake screen which gives her a cunningly programmed "Network error, please restart your computer" error and stores her details in a text file. I then handily remember my password, grab the text file from that computer, deleting it to cover my tracks, and then I had admin access over the whole school network.

I'm not such a l33t haxx0r any more, sadly.

0
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He's no good for you! Ofcom wants to give folk powers to dump subpar broadband contracts

Valerion

Wifi

Most people will measure their speed by running a speed test over wifi. This is just as dependent on their wifi speed rather than just the broadband speed.

You can deliver a constant 100Mbs to the modem, but if the wifi access point is in an area full of interference on a congested channel, and you are sitting 40 feet away through various brick walls and ceilings, you aren't gonna get it. And that isn't the fault of the ISP.

Not trying to excuse the ISPs from responsibility as they are generally lying shitbags, just sayin' that it's not always their fault.

I used to only get between 8-20Mbps upstairs from my 100Mb Virgin line (downstairs). I changed the router from an Apple Airport Express (I only use the Virgin one in modem mode) for a better Asus one and now get 100Mb everywhere.

3
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Dumb bug of the week: Apple's macOS reveals your encrypted drive's password in the hint box

Valerion

I reckon it was done on purpose

This smacks of a developer deliberately storing the password in the hint field on purpose, so that he (or she) can test it as she (or he) goes along and not worry have to worry about remembering the password.

The intention would have been to remove that bit before committing it, but (s)he forgot, and nobody noticed it in the pull request.

0
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Developers' timezone fail woke half of New Zealand

Valerion

I know how they feel

In the early hours of this morning the power went out in my house (ok, more accurately it came back on - I've no idea if it was out for 2 seconds or 4 hours).

Because the Amazon Echo that sits on my bedside table restarts quicker than the cable modem and router it kindly yelled "SORRY I'M HAVING TROUBLE CONNECTING TO THE INTERNET AT THE MOMENT" into my right ear'ole at a very loud volume at 4am.

Of course it wasn't alone. It yelled it simultaneously in the kitchen, the dining room, the living room and my son's bedroom (I seem to have accumulated quite a few Echos). A lovely morning chorus to be woken to.

To add insult to injury when the internet had come back online a few minutes later - as I was drifting off to sleep again - they all shouted "Hello".

9
0

Forget the 'simulated universe', say boffins, no simulator could hit the required scale

Valerion

First rule of simulation

Never, EVER, let the things you are simulating believe it's possible to run such a simulation.

8
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Commodore 64 makes a half-sized comeback

Valerion

Re: Can i play Speedball 2 on it

Pretty sure I saw that on the list of games.

0
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It's a real FAQ to ex-EDS staffers: You'll do what with our pensions, DXC?

Valerion

Don't worry

The government is solving the pensions problem by the simple act of continually increasing the retirement age, so that everyone dies before ever actually drawing a pension.

9
1

Achievement unlocked: Tesla boosts batteries for Irma refugees

Valerion

Wasting battery capacity and holding it to ransom like that is a cheap trick. I'm amazed they do this.

I'm amazed anyone has a problem with it and can't see the actual situation.

Customers were after cheaper cars with a smaller range and smaller battery. Rather than develop the smaller battery, tool up to provide it, and then have to worry about 2 production lines, it is much cheaper and more efficient for them to provide the larger battery and not worry about the smaller one at all.

Customer pays for a 60kw car and they get one. Other customers pay for a 75kw car and they get one.

Added bonus (for Tesla) - they don't have to worry about adjusting production for demand.

Added bonus (for the customer) - they can unlock the rest of the range if they decide to pay extra, rather than having to buy an entire new car.

This is in pretty much the same way as how car manufacturers produce identical engines with different power outputs. My wife's car, for example, had 110BHP and 135BHP options (IIRC). The 135 is more expensive by a couple of grand, but the engines are identical - just tuned differently and with the ECU programmed differently.

Tesla are not ripping anyone off.

5
3

We're not the 'world leader' in electric cars, Nissan insists

Valerion

Carlsberg

They had a similar issue. Probably.

5
0

Trump-hating Iranian is the new Uber CEO

Valerion

$95m

So he got $95m to tie him there until 2020?

And now he's leaving in 2017.

Does he have to give it back?

6
0

Virgin Media customers complain of outages across UK

Valerion

Con artists

Glad to see they are investing all the extra money from the latest inflation-busting price hike into network stability...

2
1

London council 'failed to test' parking ticket app, exposed personal info

Valerion

Re: a 20% discount if the punter pays early

Here in NY if you try and use the Official Website to pay off your totally bogus fit-up job red light violation* you get charged a grubbing and usurious surcharge for making it easier for the state government.

I got a parking ticket on Long Island a couple of weeks ago. The only means of payment are via things like "certified check". As a tourist there is no way I could actually pay the thing - there's no go online and pay option*

So I'll have to wait for the fine to be doubled for not paying early, then be passed to the car rental firm, who will then pass it on to me, no doubt with a hefty admin fee added on. My only slim hope rests on the fact the car was a Canadian rental that I had bought over the border.

*Shouldn't be too surprised given even Chip and Pin is a recent phenomenon over there.

0
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Defra recruiting 1,400 policy wonks to pick up the pieces after Brexit

Valerion

Re: brexit cost

1. No

2. No

3. No

Any other questions? The answer will still probably be "No".

17
4

Vodafone customers moan about sluggish data abroad

Valerion

Canada

I'm on Vodafone, and whilst in Toronto last week, the Rogers network was almost unusable. Whilst around other parts of CA and also the USA on the same trip, I had no issues at all.

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