Posts by Evil Genius

Have the Ukrainian army started tracking the Russians by triangulating Tinder locations yet?

Just look up ASC:Law, Golden Eye international, Davenport Lyons and their speculative invoicing scam.

Will it be available in the U.K?

Asking for an airport.

Just spray with diluted washing up liquid and look for the giant bubble.

USA: Well done my loyal vassal. Banning Huawai pleases us greatly.

UK: Why thank you, My Lord. Now, about this trade deal...

USA: Yes, of course my minion. Here, have a chlorine washed chicken. No need to thank us.

UK: Errr.

USA: I said no need to thank us.

Ohhh, you mean FUBAR.

"I will have to nip around the building to collect all the items I've lent to colleagues throughout the day. Portable rechargers, USB-C adapters, that kind of thing."

Lend?? You actually lend these items? I prefer "rent, with the full replacement value in cash left as a deposit". I will accept a freshly removed kidney as it never hurts to have a spare but storage in the shared fridge can be troublesome.

Will his New Co be

Vodafone to fix their billing system that was installed under his watch?

More fudge than Devon(port)

The Queen Elizabeth carriers are a fudge. They should have been nuclear powered so not at the mercy of oil prices. Yes the cost is more but balanced with the instability of crude, the ability to run without refuelling (involving a dangerous RaS) and increased storage space for aviation fuel and ordnance.

Aircraft should be the F18 Hornet/Super Hornet as there will be zero R&D costs. It's combat-proven and ready now.

As for the Illustrious Class, they were designed for a war that never happened - protecting the North Atlantic convoys from Soviet submarines. Turn them over to the Marines/SAS/SBS for a role like the US Tarawa, Wasp and America Class ships perform.

The Nimrod is using 50+ year old technology. Replace them with something like the P3 Orion, if only for the UK Maritime SAR role.

The Senior Service still has a vital role to play, but we need to stop being so independent and start looking at existing solutions.

Hello sailors

There's a reason that in a crisis, the US President asks "Where are the carriers?"

The don't just project power anywhere in the world, they tell your enemies "wanna play? At your own risk!"

In 1980 we scrapped our last real carrier. 2 years later we had exactly the war that she was designed to fight. Had we still had her, it would have been over a lot quicker (if it had even started) with a much lower loss of life.

Nuclear power was rejected due to the very high cost of it for a carrier.

Building them means 2 things. 1. You don't have all those ship builders on the dole figures, sorry, queue. 2. The skills need to be kept alive and passed on. BAE SSS have recently regained all their skills with the Astute class. Who'd want a strategic asset built in China or Korea?

Birdseye

"Fresh as the moment when the /snip/ went pop

Good job Microsoft didn't try that with 'Windows' That would have buggered up Play School.

Is it wrong...

...to lie to those asking the qustions in the survey?

Oh well.

ET?

Been involved in accident that wasn't your fault? Then phone us.

"So, Mr ET. You say that you were cruising along when suddenly this large rocket bounced off your front wing? The reg was NASA? We'll get our lawyers straight on it."

So wrong, but...

"just chew to release the juice"

OK, off to be very ill and gargle with gin.

Cranking the handle

"Honest officer, I'm charging my mobile."

That'll never stand up in court.