* Posts by Mark123

18 posts • joined 16 Sep 2009

SAY MY NAME, ALIEN SCUM. NASA to send 'you' into SPAAACE...


Relax I got this covered. I just put my name as General Zod, Emperor of Earth.

Those aliens wont think about messing with us now!

Mountain bike mishap man suffers SEVEN WEEK stiffie



"A fistulous communication between cavernosal artery and right corpus cavernosum was embolized...."

This line just sounds like a posh way of saying they punched it into submission. Thinking about it that might just work...unless you're into that sort of thing.

NASA probe will ease through Saturn's ring to grab Earth snapshot


Re: Selfie

Everyone get ready to put on your pouting duck-face..

Doctor Who? 12th incarnation sought after Matt Smith quits


How about

Ray Park? He could actually kick an ass or two instead of waving that bloody screwdriver all over the place!

No need for over the top acting, just make it a round-house-fest.

If they want to go older and more sedate then it would have to be Patrick Stewart.

China’s state-run rags brand Mars One mission a scam

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Re: Speaking of China's state-run media

My word, that looks just like a huge.....

Dick come and have a look at this!

Mystery robot-bringing UFOs sighted by Indian troops on Tibet border

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There's only one explanation

I am dwarf Iron Man!

Trekkie pays £45,000 for rusty shuttle


Re: Garden shed?

That's a lotta cash to spend on that...

Did he Boldly blow what no fan has blown before?...

New satellite will blow your socks off - and spot them from spaaaace


Re: 31cm!!

No no no, I am talking about my Wang 1200 word processor, not my Wang LOCI-2 calculator you silly Billy!

Paris Hilton


So now they will be able to see my wang from space!

Best not wander round in the nip anymore then.

Duck and cover: ROSAT is the next re-entry


This is surely a cover story....

"The agency highlights the satellite’s mirror as likely to be the source of the largest fragments, because of its heat resistance"

Sounds to me like Jor-el is looking for someone!!:


I wouldn't want to be General Zod right now.

Hunt for long-lost Apollo 10 moon lander adrift in space


Well that just sucks ass!

Why can't I play with the big telescopes?

Damn school kids get all the fun stuff, and only a small number will actually use it properly while the rest just try and break the thing.


Fort Wayne officials refuse to slap Harry Baals on public building

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Surely 'Wanker' has been around in the US for a while. I seem to recall Kelly LeBrock in Weird Science saying "why do you have to be such a wanker, Chet". In fairness she was from NY but raised in London so thats probably why that line was added, but come on, who can forget anything she said or did in that film!

I think I actually learned the word "Wanker" from that film.

Boffins hope for dimensional portal event at LHC by 2013!


No we are not!

You should know by now what will really happen....

As soon as the Sparticle is discovered, the entire world as we know it will dissolve away into white and a big sign will appear saying "LEVEL 2!"

I can't wait for the new maps and powerups!!

See you in the next level

Tehran conscripts Ninja masters to crush democracy

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The bigger question..

is who would win in a fight between an army of Iranian ninjas and Chuck Norris?

Well, the answer is obvious really. Chuck for Prez!

Microsoft Windows glider crashes


MS KB article says....

The failure is due to the ramp not being supported by MS, therefore the crash is the ramp manufacturers fault.

This is going to require some serious patches to get up and running again.

Malaysian politico gets knighted in Photoshop


Thats clearly a fake...

...as he has photoshopped his head over the picture of ME getting my knighthood last year for outstanding services to service delivery and infrastucture management!

Bloody cheek!!

Gay man offered lesbian neighbours slug pellet curry


@most of you

If you are all so concerned about why Reg had the gay and lesbian reference why the fuck did you read the story???

The title was there and you clicked on it, so shame on all you pricks that decided to take a moral high ground just because you expected something more from the meat of the story.

The detail is there to give a complete picture and pull readers in...like yourselves that clicked on it. If you didnt like the No IT angle, what the fuck are you doing in bootnotes in the first place fucktards?

And as for Shirkingfromhome...If you think the reg is run by a bunch of "sniggerers" then fuck off and go read Attitude instead bitch! And just because you feel opressed or bullied at work doesnt mean that your colleages are inadequate, so dont play that line, maybe they just like taking the piss. Take it up with HR or shut the fuck up, coz I dont work with you so dont care about your problems.

This world is going PC mad and you slags are not helping by moaning on about the use of additional detail. I say more detail!

If you all think you can work in the media and create better stories day in and day out which are designed to pull readers in as well as give the facts as they are then go get a fucking job in the media, otherwise shut the fuck up!

I dont work in media but I appreciate that trying to entertain and inform a bunch of moaning whiny slags every day must be hard, so to Reg I say thanks and keep up the good work...bitches!

James Martin apologises for cyclist outrage



Well if you're a pedestrian stop sticking up for the pedal pounding fucktards. They make enough noise on their own without other people helping them out.

You should be well aware of the blight these two wheeled pavement harassers cause to the biped community so stick up for yourself man coz they sure as hell dont intend to!

Have you ever been or know someone who has been hit by a bike simply for walking along a pedestrian pavement? Its not a nice thing to happen, especially if said cyclecunt is in top gear and ploughs into them at full speed, even worse if said ped is a small child or elderly. And all you get is a "oh sorry, didnt see you there", then a quick pedal away before anyone can do anything.

Bottom line, this kind of cyclist doesnt give a shit about me or you or our rights...just their need to get from A to B as quickly as possible, whatever the consequences.

For arguments sake though, if one day a car mounts the pavement and gives me a shunt I will express my opinion about them, but until that day, all I can comment on are the cycling knuckleshufflers that deem it ok to harass the likes of me and YOU by taking away our legal right to walk along a pavement in safety.

Somebody needs to stick up for the pedestrians side, as this is should not be a two way discussion between cars and bikes. You can sit in their camp, but I am standing up for my rights matey.

If we all stick to our respective boundaries and respect each others then we will truly be living in a society...until that day, cycletards will always be the bane of my pedestrian existance.

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