Posts by Captain TickTock

Um...

Check the coat icon...? It made me smile :)

Epic fail of gag comprehension, Mr AC

Crumbs...

... that's a bit of a mouthful, isn't it?

Things are getting out of hand...

"Starting off solo perhaps?"

Or you could get a friend to lend a helping hand...

I'll stop there.

Proper Olympics pools...

not like the one in Portmouth...

full of beer

40000ft

Metres?

then Apache and Google can still create a nice Java fork and pretty quickly kill Oracle's Java.

...as long as they can dodge the patent fire...

where's the Larry with horn's? No need for a halo version

So it isn't quite the end of the world...

... but you can see it from there...

Occam...

been there, done that. Mr Real Ale, I suspect you haven't. There's a reason why Occam hasn't taken off, and it's not just Inmos' failure to keep up with Intel in improving chip performance.

Just because a language has parallel constructs built in, doesn't make parallel programming easy.

And I remember people thinking that multi-threaded programming would be trivial in Java because it had sync primitives.

It's just possible that functional programming might be the key that unlocks massively parallel programming. Reduce the sync problems, but you still have to move the data faster

Dinky Carriers

.. we still have carriers?

2Meg? You were looky...

We got 150 baud through our piece of wet tinfoil,

where we live in t' shoe box in middle of road...

You tell that to kids these days, and they won't believe you.

It was the smartphone...

... wot dunnit

Other cargo

I hope square pigs is the only other thing it's carrying...

Or both...

How many times have I looked up from my book to see the platform pulling out of the station..

Particularly on a friday evening

Read fail...

...it's a 2100 quid *Philips* TV they're suggesting you get for Valentine's Day

Duelling banjos...

love it.

You shur have got a purty mouth...

Specifically...

...in the form of charcoal. It's been a long week.

the 2nd pint should do...

..A stunt double?

a cunning one?

Give it time...

In france they were using ash (not from crematoria though) for gritting over Christmas when they ran out of salt.

Are these people squeamish about organ donation? Are they vegetarians or something?

They sound happy enough to waste our fuel reserves and hasten the demise of civilisation due to global warming when they're gone.

When I'm dead, take me to Iceland and drop me in that unpronounceable volcano.

Oh wait, then we won't be able to use geothermal energy because there's dead people in it...

Light blue touchpaper....

Oh well.

Butt...

password has 8 letters...

(and so does overcoat)

...With frickin' laser beams

...I hope. Or just bad tempered sea bass

Never heard it? Get with the program...

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/11/20/jobs_email/

denizens

Would that be citizens of a den?

That's cheap..

You haven't seen the MilSpec version...

2 and 2?

Nothing to do with the anchovies, then ?

Fly United

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Breaks_Guitars

Clear the man is suffering iHate

Neptune - are you sure?

Surely you mean one of the other gas giants... ?

Up there.

Right up there.

He'll voting for..

an ally of North Korea...

"clear, rigid feminine pleasure device"

Oh I wish this had happened in Texas or somewhere deep south.

I can hear it now:

"Cleeyah rijidd femmin-eye-ne pleezhur deevice"

In Paris, Texas, even better.

$20000

That's an ARM-and-a-Leg-based server ;-)

Mines the one with the fat wallet in the pocket

New Careers

"This would imply an official classification of exactly what is and is not 'porn'. That's possible for limited cases like films, but is ludicrous for the Internet."

The BBFC are going to need to expand like crazy. There's a lot of stuff out there to review.

Where do we apply?